Chapter Text
so Adam and Fergus are at Alton fucking towers right. Fergus was collecting those coupons off the cereal boxes. LOVES CRUNCHY NUT.
the pair get to Alton Towers. entire cereal box in hand because SOMEBODY (frangipane) doesn't have any fucking scissors in the house. shockingly they use the scissors at work to cut their hair. fucking weird bastard.
anyway. after a long conversation about cereal with the ticket bloke (man loves cereal. fucking strong opinions about crunchy nut. fergus better watch his fucking back) they finally get through the gates.
yay alton towers. idk i've never been. drayton manor's cooler.
so they go on the wicker man ride. Adam makes a joke about how Peter's a plank of wood or something i don't care this isn't a real fic. you fill in the blanks.
the ride comes to a halt half way though the wicker dickheads face. who's that standing in the middle of the track? only the bloody cereal ticket guy from earlier! wow what a throwback!
Adam and Fergus are fucking bricking it. this man and his strong cereal opinions strut over to where they're sitting. he whips out the cereal box Fergus handed him earlier. he slams it on the cart in front of them. staring dead into Fergus' eyes.
"is this a FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?" the man said angrily. (he's not going to be happy is he???)
Fergus looked away for a second and caught Adam's eye.
Adam shook his head. he knew what Fergus was going to do.
Fergus took a deep breath and locked eyes with cereal cunt.
"no." he said cooly, "it's cereal".
cereal cunt fucking flew backwards off the tracks. he was absolutely blown away by that fucking comeback.
Adam was cheering, hugging Fergus. he wasn't as nervous as he once was.
Fergus picked up a pair of sunnys conveniently placed on the floor of the carriage for story purposes. he put them on their face, turned to you, the reader and says "get this fucking cart moving. i have work tomorrow morning. can't sit here all day you lazy muppet. come on. get a fucking move on".
ride took too long to start up again. Fergus was in a right strop for the rest of the ride. he didn't give a flying fuck. people were cheering and screaming. they sat there, stone cold stare. their sunglasses flew off half way through but no reaction at all. wow. their day had been fucking ruined.
Fergus has had enough. they took their cereal box in one hand. their Adam in the other hand and fucked off home. the end.