Chapter Text
"The Belkacem twins are nearby," Samar's father said conversationally over dinner one night as they were traveling through Algeria. Samar's heart, usually so well-trained, left to her throat before she could stop it.
She would be 18 in less than two months, she wasn’t almost an adult. Her parents had trusted her enough to send her on individual hunts for the last seven years, but she was still stuck waiting for her opportunity to finally prove herself as part of the van Hakim family.
An opportunity that the Belkacem twins could give her.
“Are they?” Samar’s mother asked. She smiled slyly, telling Samar that she knew exactly where this conversation was going, and also that Samar was not hiding her hope very well. “What have they been up to?”
Memories and stories of past Belkacem trials flitted through Samar’s mind. There was power in their stubbornness, their unshakeable beliefs. There was not enough power, however, to stop Samar's response.
“Probably an endless staring competition.”
Samar’s mom let out a delighted laugh and her father smiled, amused even as he shook his head in reproach. “Khamsah and Tarek have agreed to help you through your detachment, and this is how you treat them?” he asked.
"They have?" Samar asked excitedly. This time she didn’t force her rising pulse down, letting herself feel her excitement and fear fully for one rare moment.
Detachment. She remembered all the detachments of her ancestors and tried to imagine what it would feel like for her. She could remember the pain, the fear, and the struggle her ancestors had felt, as well as the different hunts they completed to prove themselves worthy of the ancestors’ return. Her brother had done it himself just a few years ago. It was the loneliness that she just couldn't imagine. She had the memories, of course, but they were countered by the presence lending her those memories. With her ancestors' spirit, she wasn't alone, and she hadn’t been for as long as she could remember.
Three years ago, Khamsah and Tarek had spent the first year of their detachment traveling with Samar and her family, and in some ways, watching them relearn how to live without generations of knowledge and wisdom behind them was the closest Samar could get to understanding the experience.
It was customary to move away from one's parents during detachment, as another form of independence. However, losing the ancestors' spirit and living alone is a lot to handle at once, and so, generally, people will stay with a family friend for the first year of their detachment, before setting off on their own.
"They've set up a farm a few hours north of here, they said that they could use an extra set of hands for the year," Samar's father explained. His eyes twinkled with pride but his posture stayed relaxed, down-playing his own excitement. "We can take a bus tomorrow morning and be there by lunch."
They set out for Kherrata the next afternoon. It was only a two-hour journey to the mountainous town, but it felt so much longer to Samar. She was overflowing with anticipation and anxieties in a way she hadn't in years. Not even her parents’ amused looks could stop Samar from bouncing her legs while she sat on the bus. Soon Samar would have to be more attentive to the control of her body than ever before, but she thought that she was entitled to one day of laziness as she prepared. Her parents didn't admonish her either, so Samar assumed that they agreed.
Samar tried to imagine what she could do to earn her ancestors' spirit's return. It would obviously be a hunt, but Samar had been hunting her entire life, hunting down something like a demon would impress exactly no one. No, she would have to research and plan if she was going to earn her reattachment. Ethiopia had some impressive creatures she could remember, maybe she could convince the twins to take a trip out west.
Whatever her plan was, first Samar had to make it through the initial detachment. This reminder jolted her out of her thoughts as the bus finally pulled up to the stop in Kherrata. Her hands shook slightly as she made her way off the bus, and even she wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement. She'd been waiting for this for years, this chance to prove herself, but Samar would never even pretend to take the initial detachment lightly. No amount of confidence or arrogance would let her ignore the memories from past generations, or her own memories as she watched Khamsah and Tarek go through the same thing.
It wouldn't help to dwell on the fear, though, so Samar put on a grin as she spotted the Belkacem twins waiting for them just across the road. She ran across the road, barely even glancing for cars, and threw herself into Tarek's waiting arms. Samar didn't often allow herself to feel self-conscious of her height, but she did love that Tarek was one of the few that didn't make her feel like a giant. She was still a good three inches taller than them, but Tarek was heavyset with massive arms that Samar could launch herself into without fear of knocking them over.
Tarek chuckled as they caught Samar in a tight hug. "Ready to finally grow up, Kiddo?" they asked.
"I've been ready for years, asshole, and I'm not even two years younger than you," she argued as if she could ever win the Kiddo battle. Tarek's shoulder-length dark brown hair tickled her arm as she squeezed tightly. "I was just giving you two a headstart, you've had three years and I'm still going to find Reconnection before you."
"Them, maybe," a voice next to Samar scoffed. "They're still convinced that they're going to sit around doing nothing and the ancestors will just come back."
Tarek pulled away from Samar and rolled their eyes at her. "I'm not sitting around. I just don't need the ancestors to live, and I'm not going to act desperate and needy, begging them to return, unlike someone," they argued good-naturedly. Samar couldn't begin to imagine how many times they'd had that argument in the last two years, so she just laughed as she turned to hug Khamsah.
Khamsah was an intimidating figure. She was smaller than her sibling by just a couple inches, and more toned, but there was a severity in her face unhidden by the long hair she always pulled back into a braid. It warned people from crossing her. Samar had never been good with warnings though, and she grabbed Khamsah around the waist and picked her up off the ground, spinning her around despite Khamsah's protests.
"They're stuck with you for the next year, don't antagonize Khamsah too much already,'' Samar's father teased, and Samar let Khamsah drop to the ground.
"They've already committed, it's too late to back out now," Samar reasoned, grinning at Khamsah as she glared back, pretending not to be happy to see her.
Tarek slung an arm over Samar's shoulder. "You haven't been through your detachment yet, it's not too late, we could leave you to childhood for a little longer, " they teased." What do you think, Khamsah?"
"If it means I don't have to deal with the two of you together for the next year, I'm all for it."
"It's only been a few minutes, Khamsah, you're giving up already?" Samar asked. "That seems a little weak-willed, don't you think?"
Khamsah rolled her eyes, but Samar also watched a smile break through her stormy demeanor. "You're right, this year is going to earn me my reattachment, I suppose I can't turn you away yet," Khamsah reasoned. "You can stay, for now."
There was no point in waiting, so Samar, Khamsah, and Tarek agreed to perform the initial detachment that night. The three of them had a pleasant dinner with Samar's parents before they left.
After dinner, Khamsah and Tarek hugged Samar's parents goodbye and excused themselves to go prepare for the ritual, leaving Samar alone with them.
Samar's mom stepped forward first, wrapping her in a tight hug. "We're so proud of you," she said, her voice tight with emotion. "Stay safe, and you'll earn your reattachment in no time."
"Of course," Samar agreed readily, "I'll be back with you guys before Rachid."
Rachid had regained their ancestors' spirit a year ago, five years after his initial detachment, but instead of returning to their family, by then, he had made his own. He married his wife soon after his reattachment and they already had one kid and another on the way. Rachid promised that he'd return to traveling with their family once the kids were old enough to travel with easily, but no one was holding their breath.
Samar's father chuckled. "I don't doubt that. Just don't piss off the twins too much, you know it took generations to repair the last falling out we had," he warned, stepping up to hug Samar as her mother let go.
Samar scoffed. "If I wear them down that easily, they aren't strong-willed enough to be Belkacems," she argued
And then it was time. Samar was suddenly struck with a wave of pure fear, without the anticipation that had been keeping the fear manageable. Her parents were gone, and now she was about to lose her ancestors who'd been with her as long as her parents had. They were a part of her and she was about to lose them. Samar didn't know who she was without her family.
Samar forced herself to stand up straighter and refocus. The point of Separation was to discover oneself, and panicking about it wasn't going to help anyone.
"Is everything ready?"
Tarek and Khamsah both looked over to her, seemingly surprised that she spoke.
"Just about," Khamsah agreed softly. Her voice had a rare gentleness to it, and Samar was afraid that it was pity. "Go change, then we'll get started. "
Samar did as she was told and changed into a loose pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Nothing fancy, just a pair of comfortable, old clothes that she could spend the next few days in as she recovered.
There was a mug of tea next to the bed when she returned, and a whispered argument that cut off as Samar entered.
"What's going on?" Samar asked.
The twins glanced at each other.
"Khamsah is determined to stretch this out, while I think it's best to go through the Separation now," Tarek explained.
Khamsah sighed, exasperated. "It's one mug of tea," she argued. "It's the last time she'll just be able to enjoy something like that, and it's one cup. It's not like I'm trying to put it off by days.
Tarek opened their mouth to argue, but Samar just walked over to the bed and grabbed the mug, taking a long sip. She crinkled her nose. "Enjoy is a strong word. You're terrible at making tea, Khamsah." Khamsah's jaw dropped in surprise offense, but Tarek's loud, booming laugh cut her off. The argument broken, Samar smiled her thanks to Khamsah.
Samar finished her tea quickly, trying to appreciate it while also trying not to give herself time to stress about the ritual. Soon the mug was empty and Tarek produced an empty Kalsera crystal. It was time.
Khamsah stood over the bed with the crystal as Samar laid down and Tarek sat down next to her. The room felt too tense for conversation so Samar made eye contact with Khamsah first, then Tarek, nodding that she was ready to begin. Tarek reached out and gripped Samar's arm tightly, both to be a reassuring presence and to be ready to restrain her and keep her from hurting herself, just as she had done for them years ago.
Khamsah began chanting. Samar couldn't make out the words, although she knew the general sentiment. Leave the body, let her prove herself worthy as a Hunter and an individual, accept this crystal as a home until then., blah blah blah. The words were not new to her, but the pulling of her spirit was.
It didn't hurt because there was no physical sensation, but she could feel part of herself try to escape her body and travel into the crystal, and she cried out in panic. She moved to follow her spirit, but Tarek blocked her with their body, and Samar cried even louder as her spirit kept moving further away.
Something was wrong, Samar was sure of it. It wasn't the ancestors moving to the crystal, it was herself. All of her thoughts were leaving her body, she was going to die, and she couldn't fight her way through Tarek and didn't have enough of her consciousness there to convince them that something was wrong. She pushed and swung at them, but they were as solid as a rock as her spirit pulled further and further away, stretching like taffy.
The feeling echoed through her, generations and generations of spirits stretching away from her, towards the crystal, until the line snapped, and the echo vanished, and Samar was left completely empty and alone.
Samar barely even felt Tarek's arms around her as she collapsed, the fight having left her with her ancestors, and she passed out.