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It was fine during the stream.
Sure it was painful, intensely so. Enough for Sapnap to genuinely fear the ones and zeros that made up minecrafts many creatures. But it was manageable, with the adrenaline that came with streaming, being with everyone on call and seeing the hundreds of thousands of people in chat.
He was exhausted at the end of the stream, but it wasn’t anything so bad that he couldn’t still joke around with Quackity or George, even if they were being unhelpful to say the least.
But when the stream ended, his webcam’s light turned off, and his headphones rested around his neck…
He realized how much his wrist really did hurt .
Even on almost the lowest possible shock setting, Sapnap felt his wrist throb in pain. He undid the strap and slid it off gently, hissing at the way his muscles pinched as he flexed his injured hand. Sapnap wasn’t a wuss for pain either, he could take pain moderately, but the effects of the shock collar still rang loudly in his nerves.
He stood and looked around his room for a moment, holding his hurt wrist in his hand. He leaves his headphones on his desk and heads down the hallway to his bathroom.
There should be something soothing in the medicine cabinet, right?
Wrong . A multitude of swears left Sapnap’s mouth as he rummaged through the small cabinet one handed. Allergy meds, antiemetics, cold and cough….. Rash cream would have to do.
He did however find a bottle of tylenol, to which he shook out two pills. Sapnap craned his neck under the sink faucet, and tipped his head back to swallow the capsules.
He sits on the edge of the bathtubs with the cream, sulking more than anything. Stupid collar, stupid sheild deal, all of it was just-
“Sapnap?”
He looks up instantly at the noise, and there Dream is, standing right in the doorway. He's got hesitant, half smile ticked on his face; the undertones dripped with concern.
“Yeah?” Sapnap tries not to sound annoyed, but he would rather Dream not see him like this. It’s embarrassing, he’s frustrated and in pain. But with the kindness that radiates from him is too comforting to pass up, so when Dream silently asks to come in, Sapnap nods.
“Here.” Dream kneels next to him, at level with his pulsing wrist; it’s a bit swollen now. He holds out his hand, presumably for Sapnap to give the injured appendage over. “Those marks are just like how mine were.” he chuckles.
“‘S not funny.” Sapnap pouts.
“Sorry, sorry… I brought you aloe vera.” Dream smiles, he looked like he genuinely wanted to help. And Sapnap couldn’t be mad at him, especially not after he looked out for him the way he did during the stream today. He could tell Sapnap wasn’t doing well in the nether so he helped him out, pointing things out, thanking subs; all just to be helpful.
A drastic contrast from George and Quackity, Dream was just like that. Dream is nothing if not fiercely loyal and generous, he’s helped him out in a lot more than minecraft.
Sapnap watched as Dream smeared the jelly like consistency over his afflicted wrist.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, and this just makes Sapnap more embarrassed.
“Yeah.” he huffed out with a flushed face. “What am I? Ten? I can handle this.” he rolled his eyes.
“I know.” he said without any resistance, pointedly ignoring Sapnap’s defensive tone. “I just wanted to make sure, I don’t like seeing you like that.”
“Like what? Getting my ass handed to me? Me either.” Sapnap doesn’t meet Dream’s eyes.
“In pain.”
This gives a feeling to Sapnap that he can’t quite place, it's visceral though. It fills his stomach and blooms in his fingertips. He melts a bit, he looks up and Dream is already looking at his face. Sapnap suddenly becomes aware of how little space is between them, how fast his heart rate is. He hopes Dream can’t feel it thrumming in his wrist.
And it’s not like when he was a kid. It’s not like bedroom doors with no locks, and the underlying fear of a parent coming home early. It’s not scary highschool girls, and studying snapchat scores. It’s not like anxious text messages, it’s not like awkward school dances.
It’s something more mature. Something like two people in their house, nobody else. Feeling impossibly intimate. Just them, in the bathroom, cooling aloe vera on his wrist. Eyes set on each other, far too close to be considered strictly platonic.
“It’s just that I knew how that felt, and I uh, I didn’t want you to like- Um, I don’t know.” Dream fumbles for only a moment. “I was just a little worried and wanted to help. That’s all.” Sapnap studies his face a little longer, searches for his feelings.
“Dream.”
He looks up from Sapnap’s Wrist.
“Thank you.” and with Sapnap’s words, he watches all of the hesitance melt right off of his face.
Sapnap loves this part of Dream. The part that had bought him a desk, and a chair, and a mini fridge when he moved in. The part of him that stayed in a call with him in his headphones when he was anxious at school. The part of Dream that put aloe on his wrist when he was hurt.
The attention had him forgetting all about the pain of being nearly electrocuted live on stream.
Sapnap finds himself yawning as Dream gently rubbed his wrist, knuckles of his unaffected arm rubbing at his eyes.
“Tired?” Dream asked, Sapnap nodded. Streaming could be exhausting sometimes, especially such a nerve wracking stream like that. Trying to keep up his energy for viewers, and keep up with his friend’s banter, it tires a person out.
He watches Dream watch his own thumb rub across the bone at the base of his wrist, where the gel had long since dried down. There was no real reason for Dream to be touching him, he realized; he flushed at the implications of Dream wanting to touch him without a reason.
But he apparently realized that same thing as well because Dream soon dropped Sapnap’s wrist.
“Well, I’ll, uh. Get out of your hair.” he laughed, standing from where he was sitting next to Sapnap on the bathtub’s edge. Sapnap wanted to reach out for him again, but he didn’t. Instead, he tried to communicate through his eyes, asking him to stay with only a look.
He didn’t. Instead, Dream walked out of the bathroom casually, fingertips of his right hand grazing the door frame.
Sapnap couldn’t force the words out, he couldn’t seem to say that he wanted Dream to stay. He had been in this situation what seems like a million times since he moved in, wanting him.
Wanting Dream but not knowing what to say, or what to do, or how to show that.
It’s not that he particularly felt like Dream would deny him, or that Sapnap wanted him any less. Truth be told, he was too awkward for his own good. He’s never been the most direct of a person, a stark contrast to Dream’s boisterous personality. He envied Dream in many ways, but that had to be the biggest one. He never backed down from what he wanted, pushed all the limits and advocated for himself and his friends. Sapnap adored that about him.
So when he went back to his room to lay in his too empty bed, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Wanting Dream, telling him. He covered his face with his elbow and rolled to the side.
He couldn’t.
“You left this in the bathroom, thought you might want it.” and there Dream was, once again. Standing in the doorway, like this wasn’t his own house, like he needed permission. He was holding Sapnap’s phone, which he apparently had forgotten on the counter.
“Oh,” he says and Dream holds it out to him, “Thanks.”
Silence falls over them, Sapnap sitting up in his unmade bed, Dream standing awkwardly in the middle of his room.
He sees Dream turn to leave and he decides, no .
He could .
“Hey, um, actually. Can you… Could you stay?” Sapnap asks, and Dream turns back. “It’s just that my arm really hurts, and, and, I, uh. Could you?”
A lie. His arm’s pain level had decreased to a dull, low throb, he would be fine by tomorrow. But he felt like he needed the excuse, needed the buffer so his true feelings weren’t so exposed.
Dream didn’t say anything for a moment, regret pooled in Sapnap’s being,
“You don’t have to-”
“Yeah, I’ll stay.” he answered. “With you.”
Hope bloomed in Sapnap’s chest, his stomach doing a somersault at the same time. Dream crosses the threshold to where Sapnap was, toeing off his slip on shoes. He joins Sapnap on the bed,they don’t meet eyes but it’s nice.
“Yeah, my arm, It. It hurts, yeah.” Sapnap stutters nervously. He was never good at this. Talking about how he felt, as though it was admitting some kind of weakness. Absurd, he knew, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“Yeah?” Dream gives him a knowing look, “If you want to cuddle, you could just ask me.” he smirks.
Sapnap knows he must go as red as a tomato and his mouth drops open at Dream’s cockiness, typical .
“Pfttt, I, no . I, just.. My arm.” he sputters, looking away from Dream’s prideful gaze.
Dream shook his head with a smile, “Lay back, Sapnap.”
Dream’s arms reminded him how tired he was, and it wasn’t long before he was too exhausted to entertain his anxieties. And it wasn’t long before he no longer had to trip over his words just to get Dream to hold him.
He didn’t have to ask at all.