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Pain.
Xie Lian could feel so much of it he was almost blinded by it. But he wasn’t numb, he was appalled. The jade black sword that had pierced through his chest was so cold Xie Lian could feel the coldness pour through his lungs. And as mysteriously dark as the sword was, it was the reason there was blood gushing through the wound, dripping on the floor around the bound man. There was a tug at the sword, which was now pulled out, but Xie Lian hunched over.
Blood threatened to make its way up to his mouth and he forced it back in, coughing twice. He took a deep breath as sweat dripped down his face, contorted with pain. The wound would heal soon, he knew it.
The sword clanged on the floor before the panicked people, their eyes wide with terror and curiosity.
Xie Lian shook his head and tried to focus his thoughts on the rapidly approaching infected people. White-No-Face had said something already but his ears were ringing.
He could hardly speak, his voice stuck in his throat only seconds away from a scream, “You… You!”
“Take a good look”, said the ghost to the cowering people. His hand reached over to Xie Lian, forcing the latter to look at him. “What about me? Aren’t you the one who proclaimed that you wanted to save the common people?”
Bile rose in Xie Lian’s throat, owing to the recent injury and the ghost’s words. It was true, he had indeed said he had wanted to save the common people, and he did . But in a situation like this, how could he ignore the feel of the stab that had penetrated his chest, the sharp sting of the cut still oozing blood, the tears spilling out of his eyes?
“But, But I-I...”
Would it really save them if he allowed himself to be slaughtered?
Xie Lian coughed again, a trail of blood trickling down his chin. There were over a hundred people in the temple, all wanting to be rescued. He couldn’t save them all unless he agreed to turn into slubbery meat adorning the soft white floor. There were a few murmurings from the crowd, and even though the ringing in his ears had reduced, he could not hear very well.
“But he’s a god! Even if he’s stabbed, he still wouldn’t die! We’re just common folks here. If we were to get infected with the Face Disease, then our fates are sealed!”
White No-Face sneered, “The common people are here, waiting for you to save them. Please go ahead.”
Xie Lian was dumbfounded for a moment, but then his face lit up in anger. “The only way to save the common people is to eradicate a twisted monster like you!”
“What’s the matter? The ghost spoke, and Xie Lian thought he was smiling underneath the hideous mask, “Your Highness, didn’t you confidently say you won’t be able to die? You couldn’t be possibly scared now? Since you won’t be able to die, then sacrifice and relieve others of their sufferings. Isn’t that a delightful thing?”
“Was this your plan all along? You think that everyone in the world is as sadistic as you?” Xie Lian said bitterly, his voice unwavering. But when he glanced down at the crowd, he could see the people had edged a lot closer to the sword now, their faces gleaming in hesitation.
Surely, surely, they would have noticed the trail on his chin, or the smeared red liquid on the marble floor, or the fresh round of tears that had made it’s way up on the boy’s hurting face. Surely , they would have thought about the pain that each stab would bring, even to a God. Surely, they would hear the wounded whimpers of the boy, and pity him.
Xie Lian wanted to cover his ears with his hands, to never hear the sharp unpleasant voice of White No-Face again, and to completely block out his own shameful loud grunts. He wanted to smack the arm that had ruffled his hair, but his hands were tied and he sat staring at the mask.
“You think they don’t want to? Wrong, it’s not that they want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first that’s all.”
The boy refused to believe this, his heart clenching on to the idea that the crowd in front of him was not a stage full of puppets, and not collateral damage either. They were human beings who felt, just like him. Maybe humans weren’t above killing, but they felt, and that was one hell of a hope humanity clung onto.
A sudden scream from the crowd startled Xie Lian.
“My child, my child!” A woman was screaming, her hands shaking around her infant who was developing new faces on his own. Everyone moved away from the couple. The husband seemed frozen on the spot, when suddenly his eyes moved towards the sword lying in front of Xie Lian. The wife had seemed to notice the same thing. Sweat laced their faces as they walked towards it, trembling.
“We’re sorry, but there is no other way.. Our son, we can’t lose him.” The sword pierced Xie Lian’s abdomen, causing a sensation so hot Xie Lian shuddered. Tears blurred his eyes, and the ringing in his ears resumed. The continuous apologies the couple muttered were not heard to him. Blood seeped down his robes and he found it hard to sit straight. He could not blame the couple, the infant was barely one year old. But when the blade pierced him for the third time, his shoulders hunching, blood spurting from his mouth, tears entering his mouth adding to the metallic taste, his gaping wounds leaking blood everywhere, the cruel mask dancing in front of his eyes, he could not bear it. There had to be someone who would save him, right? Someone who didn’t have a family to go back to, or a wife waiting for him, or just too young to die?
He would have preferred death a hundred times over this.
A thought swam in his brain, above the sounds of the squelching meat, the scraping bones, his own racking sobs. Maybe he was the collateral damage.
And soon the thought swam underwater too, when the tenth piercing completely broke his body. The rope around his hands had come undone sometime, but he only found out now, his shaking hands wrapping around himself. The hands were forced apart, the humans continuosly puncturing him. Xie Lian closed his eyes in concentration.
The tears had stopped flowing, the wounds now closed up immediately, the blood was swallowed back.
Xie Lian did not move.
But the suddenly calm appearance of the boy who was shaking uncontrollably with pain stopped the people in their tracks. A man stood, his hands quivering with the sword in his hand, only inches away from Xie Lian. He stood, confused, his legs twisted in a manner that he didn’t step over the pool of blood.
Xie Lian opened his eyes. They were blank.
“Go on. Why did you stop?”
The man stepped back out of fear. The god had been kind every time he spoke before, but the coldness in his voice raised goosebumps all over his body. The beautiful, gentle features were twisted into something vicious; cold and calculating. Yet he took a step forward again, the god was offering to him after all…
One side of the temple caught fire. Everyone jumped back and the sword clanged to the side.
“Who? Who’s there?” A woman managed to yell out. There was no response. The fire was slowly spreading through the curtains and the rugged mats.
Xie Lian did not pay attention to the fire. A flickering ghostly fire danced around him, gently setting on the top of the countless cuts on Xie Lian as if to sew them up. But he did not pay attention.
White No-Face was nowhere to be seen in the crowd.
He stood up silently, facing the backs of the people in the temple. With one flick of his finger, a raging fire erupted around the temple, higher than the temple itself. It sealed them off from the infected zombies. The fire inside the temple fanned out and people began realizing what was going on.
They turned around towards the bloodied god, his injuries on display causing reckless guilt to course through their veins. They got down on their knees instantly.
“Your Highness! Thank you for saving us! We will worship you!”
Hearing no response from the god, they bent down even more. “We will build temples for you, Your HIghness! You are the greatest!” There was a murmur of agreement, and everyone looked relieved, although slightly scared.
A cackle sounded in the temple and everyone was perplexed. They looked up, it was indeed Xie Lian who had laughed, but it did not sound like him at all. The cackle was high pitched and biting.
“Have you forgotten already, my dear people? What you did, just a few moments ago?” He perfected his poise and stared directly at the people. He did not sound angry, or amused, or sad. And so the people were terrified.
“We are sorry!”, a young boy yelled, although he did not look sorry at all. “Your Highness our lives were at stake! You have to understand…” Someone shushed him.
Xie Lian smiled, a menacing one.
“And did it occur to you, that I could feel every stab, that even though I am a god, I hurt like any other mortal?” He asked, waving his arms around him casually.
The crowd hitched. No one spoke.
“But if we hadn’t done that, all of us would have died..” A woman spoke, looking at her feet.
“Oh, that is going to happen regardless, miss.” Xie Lian said with a sense of casualty that left the people pondering. Surely , a god wouldn’t take petty revenge? Besides, he did not look hurt at all?
The fire around the temple raged even higher, slowly shifting closer towards where the people stood.
“Your Highness! Haven’t we already apologised?”
“You are a god, you can’t kill us!”
But Xie Lian was not listening. His mind had stopped thinking entirely, rage entirely filling him up. What hadn’t he done for the people? Hadn’t he tried to save them, only to be mocked and ridiculed and banished? Why should he have to give everything up for beings who did not think once before killing him over and over again, even though he screamed in agony, screamed for mercy? What had he ever done to deserve this much pain?
There was barely any spiritual energy left in him, but he continued spiting the fire.
One person caught on fire.
Xie Lian seethed with rage. They had to die, everyone in the temple had to die.
An entire group of people were yelling, their clothes burning, their faces melting with blood droplets adorning the screams.
Yes. Pay for what you did, pay for what you are.
In a matter of minutes, the fire engulfed the entire temple, the screams stopped.
Xie Lian fell into a deep sleep.