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Luffy glared at Zoro. Zoro glared at Luffy. The two were in the middle of a very heated debate about whose boyfriend was cooler. Yes, you’ve read it right - they were arguing whose boyfriend was cooler. Zoro huffed through his nose because he didn’t understand why and how he couldn’t get it through their captain that Sanji was way cooler than Law. Zoro had nothing against Law - he was chill - but compared to Law, Sanji was way cooler, no?! Zoro grumbled under his breath, unable to let it go and he crossed his arms on top of his chest as Luffy did the same and the swordsman groaned as the captain was now only mimicking him.
“Luffy,” grumbled Zoro and then shook his head. He was again going to approach this matter calmly and wisely. He wasn’t going to let their captain throw him off again. “Think about it, isn’t it obvious? The cook is way cooler,” said Zoro and Luffy pouted, stuck his fingers into his ears and shook his head, sulking.
“Lalala, not listening,” kept on chanting Luffy and Zoro sighed and rolled his eyes. “Torao is cooler,” said Luffy and then happily smiled all the way up to his ears. “Sanji is cool and his food is amazing, but when it comes to kicking butt Law is cooler, have you seen his powers?” asked Luffy and his eyes lit up. There were literal little stars in there. At least Zoro could see them.
“He ate the devil fruit, it doesn’t make it fair,” said Zoro and shook his head. “The cook can kick ass easily without the devil fruit powers, so there,” said Zoro and Luffy pouted and scowled at Zoro. Both of them were acting like kids and Zoro was very well aware of it, but at the same time he wasn’t letting it go. Not until he was going to make it clear to Luffy that Sanji was the cooler one. He wasn’t backing down. No matter what!
“That doesn’t make any sense, Zoro,” said Luffy. “Torao is way cooler,” said Luffy and Zoro slapped himself across the forehead.
“Forget it, Sanji is way more badass,” argued back Zoro and Luffy pressed his lips together and then turned around. His nakama was acting like a traitor now and Luffy sighed again, turning around as he was slowly coming up with a comeback. He was going to show to Zoro that he was mistaken. Of course Sanji was cool and badass, but compared to his boyfriend… Law was way cooler. Period. End of conversation.
“Torao is stronger,” argued Luffy.
“Pft,” said Zoro. “Cook could easily beat him in one on one combat.”
“No he wouldn’t!”
“Yes he would!” said Zoro and then clicked with his tongue. “Besides, Sanji is way cuter as well,” stated Zoro, stating it as fact and Luffy again slammed his fists against the wooden floor in protest.
“You’re so wrong,” said Luffy and pointed at Zoro. “Torao is cuter!”
“Nope, there’s no way,” said Zoro. “Nothing is cuter than the cook cooking in the kitchen especially when he’s decorating cakes,” said Zoro, who was now being even more childish. He didn’t care. “Your facts are wrong,” said Zoro. “Sanji is cute when he blushes, he’s cuter than anyone on this ship,” carried on Zoro and of course Luffy quickly jumped in to exactly tell him why that was wrong.
Sanji and Law were standing by the side and listening to all of that, both of them horrified because both Luffy and Zoro were acting completely… stupid. Sanji was trying not to flush too much and tried not to walk over to Marimo and smack him. He would have deserved it. Just what kind of a discussion was that? Who was cooler and cuter? Sanji gritted his teeth and then he glanced over to the side to see what Law was doing. Law was looking gloomy - there was darkness in his eyes and he was barely contain himself from just-
“W-what are they-”
“Idiots, they’re being idiots,” said Sanji because Law couldn’t finish his own sentence and the other slowly nodded and scowled at Luffy, who was still arguing with Marimo and then he pressed his lips together and looked over to Sanji. “I swear I’ll kick his ass if he doesn't stop it this instance,” said Sanji and Law nodded in agreement.
Not only that but all of the Starwhats were there as well and were listening to all of this. Most of them found it funny, laughing along. All of them found it funny but Law and Sanji, who were trying their best not to burst in flames with anger. Sanji pulled out another cigarette, lit it up and took in a deep breath, hoping that that was going to relax him a little bit. But it didn’t really help because Zoro and Luffy’s argument was getting more and more heated and louder. Ugh, how great!
“Sanji’s stronger!”
“No, Torao is way stronger!”
“M-m-make them stop,” mumbled Law and Sanji shrugged and pressed his lips together.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do,” grumbled Sanji under his breath. “We all know how Luffy is when he sets his mind on something and Marimo is just...” said Sanji and shook his head. “He’s the most stubborn person I know so good luck stopping them,” said Sanji and then pressed his lips together. He wished he knew of a way that would make the other two embarrassing him and Law, but it was impossible. Sanji was also kind of used to this, but Law on the other hand wasn’t and the longer he kept on listening their stupid fight, the more annoyed he was. In the end he decided to take the matters in his own hands. He knew that Sanji was right - it was going to be pointless in trying to talk some sense into those two.
“Room,” mumbled Law under his breath and then pointed to the other two. Sanji’s eyes widened, but then he smiled - good thinking! “Shambles,” carried on Law and soon both Luffy and Zoro disappeared in front of their eyes. Sanji grinned happily and shook his head.
“Good thinking,” said Sanji and Law grunted in agreement. “Where did you send them off to?”
“They’ll be fine,” said Law. He didn’t send them anywhere too dangerous. Just for the time being he needed some silence and those two were just too- “I couldn’t deal with it anymore, I’ll bring them back when they cool off,” said Law and Sanji nodded with a smile.
“Suppose it’ll take a while.”
“Hmm. Yes.”
“I’ll pour us something to drink,” said Sanji and signed Law to follow him into the kitchen where he had some booze stored away. Law nodded right away - after this display of sheer stupidity he needed some really strong.
“Better make it strong,” said Law and Sanji nodded.
“Yep, you’re so right,” said Sanji and laughed.
Law and Sanji learned that they had something in common after all - both of their boyfriends were dumbasses.
But they loved them anyway.