Chapter Text
Benrey was…kind of having fun.
Amusement trickled down his spine as he…well, made up a bunch of bullshit, monologuing and riling Gordon up as a huge imposing silhouette in this damp, fleshy cavern. Just like a human video game, he thinks.
In the end, the science team didn't listen to Benrey. Specifically Gordon didn't, he didn't trust him and was also kind of their leader. He warned him, but Gordon listened to the other humans, barricaded in some kinda lamba lab, talking about portals and some kind of powerful being. In the moment, Benrey didn't miss the glance, the meaningful look Gordon gave him when they were talking about it, likely convincing himself of something or other. That Benrey was responsible.
Listen to him, blame him or not, he still had to protect the squishy and mortal science team. He went on ahead, taking care of the real threat like wiping up a spill, taking advantage of the low gravity and waltzing around. Hearing the team wandering about this strange new world, their voices echoing through the almost-alive landforms that dotted this place.
Eventually, they made it to him, almost catching him cleaning up. Almost, and he'd already decided to have fun with it all, grown taller to fit the cave, teach his friends a little lesson, scare humans away from this place with finality. The intrusion (and Nialanth) away, Xen would grow peaceful again, return to being merely a bridge, instead of crying for help. A cry Benrey could hear.
Now, he was weakened, dying from the barrage of blows, of gunfire--bullets and not--it shouldn't concern him, and it didn't! Until he detected a feeling, slowly becoming aware, something strange, vitriol that was not his own curled at the base of his skull, something disguised as his own internal monologue turning sinister words against himself, becoming more and more foreign. It was confusing, those cries of help from the essence of a world entirely turning in tone, felt like they were his own but becoming cries calling for his destruction. Benrey wasn't entirely sure he was meant to know this, feel it, a trick played on him, and the trick's plans falling through the cracks a little too early. The dialogue coming from inside of him reveled in his weakness, like it was close to getting something it wanted. Like it was too late for him.
He thought this place wanted to be protected, knew it like it was his own thought in the back of his mind. It was a clever falsification, made him think this world was weak and held a careful balance, and watched became malicious and triumphant from behind his own eyes. A blinding light opened up above him.
He was weakened. And he fell upward, morphing and writhing and out of control, and he couldn't see anything as he was overtaken by that light. Fuck. How could it go so very wrong.
He didn't see the Science team make it home, he didn't see his out of place skeleton friends hang out with them at chuck e cheese, he couldn't fight nor regenerate.
His end drew out, and he existed semi conscious for an unidentifiable amount of time, experiencing what we might call sleep, or blacking out. Being consumed. Fading similar to Earth's decay. At least he didn't feel the smug victory in the base of where his skull should be anymore. Though, he didn't feel much of anything, blessing and a curse.
Xen, deceiving fucked up mess of a planet, managed to take the very roots of his mind, convince him into security, even after he did away with that weird onion guy. It wanted him, whatever made him large and small and undying, and it was eating him to get it. Taking it all out of him, snuffing him and drawing from him, like a flame growing small and dying out. Truly dying.
If someone--anyone--knew, they'd be grateful for his inability to feel for him.
Gordon's life had gotten. Strange.
But good!
It was just...kind of a throwback to when he was a kid, feeling wrong, misplaced, and wondering if he was about to learn a secret about himself and the universe through an extenuating amount of circumstances. As he grew, he thought it was just pre transgender emotions, but now…
Well, he'd learned secrets about the universe through circumstances. Like the protagonist kid-him thought he was, but he wasn't any sort of protagonist, wasn't traversing a story with whatever--romance and tragedy and triumph and comradery--just living his life. Not like his life was devoid of those things (except romance. for the moment, he told himself.) more like he had many moments of quiet, of just relaxing watching a movie alone, or walking, staring at the way the light hit the clouds, that warm, charged feeling of laughing and talking with his friends, or wolfing down a plate of sweet, soft shrimp dumplings from the culinary geniuses down the street. Things a story doesn't always show, things he reveled in between robbing banks, or whatever chaotic, violent, but contradictorily good natured events him and the Neo-Science Team got up to.
His entry to this type of life was difficult, he battled with his mind a lot, human instinct trying and failing to protect him. However, he kept a firm grip on himself. Helped himself, and kept openness with the team. They talked about everything to do with their otherworldly encounter. Group therapy. Shared experience, whatever. It helped.
Even Benrey. He felt a conflict in him about that guy, the way they all talked about him. It was too wrapped up in mystery, too easy to hate him, he
felt there was something he was still missing. But they were missing the entire guy, so perhaps he'd never fill in the gaps. Honestly, that was fine with him in the end.
Through talking about them with his boys, though, he learned more and more about his real nature. Despite Gman telling him he didn't "need to know." Too late. They warned him Benrey could return. They thought he would. Like, any day now, he should. Gordon braced himself for the tide that didn't come.
Tommy suggested that he thought his Dad had put the guy in void jail for that weird attack, (and Gordon felt a little amused about his gay baby jail) but upon asking, the mysterious time altering father figure had no idea about him. The man even pinkie promised about it.
He sighed resolutely when Tommy brought up the courage to ask, fiddling with the hem of his peach coloured tee, if the team could try and take a look for their old friend. He said of course, as friends they needed to ease each other's worries.
And he sighed now, deep under the ruins of black mesa, waiting for that weird portal to Xen to fire up again. This was how it went with his Science team, he would agree to a small task that slowly and then very quickly grew large and adventurous. He was complaining, but he could easily back out any time. Even with the HEV suit already latched on once again. But no, he was doing this, for his boys.
When they felt that sickening spitting lurch that meant they had arrived at Xen, it was an anticlimax of not being attacked. The world was still the same shape, the same land masses, but calm. That evolutionary advantage of attacking everything that stands next to it was pretty much gone. It was a cakewalk compared to their last visit, practically a vacation. They combed their way through, looking for familiar signs of life, able to take their time and actually revel in the scientific marvel. Eventually, they found that same huge cavern. It echoed with their voices without the huge Benrey, void of that pool of strange liquid. Nothing. Gordon was surprised to feel his heart drop. Where could Benrey fucking be?
Tommy's face was uncharacteristically blank as Bubby spoke in a level voice about something Gordon wasn't listening to. He watched as the lanky man used those weird breath-y bounce pads to traverse the height of the cavern, and he half jogged to follow him, even without the water to help break his descent. Tommy hit the weird ceiling portal and Gordon took a deep breath to brace for doing the same. Ugh.
This place was familiar, too, despite being dark. Well, it was dark, until points of light began to glow, looking like a flashlight through skin, almost like eyes opening. Gordon shivered, horrified. For a moment he wondered if this just was Benrey, grown even larger and imperceivable, and he paradoxically felt bad for stepping on him.
They all spotted the odd one out at the same time. A larger, blobbier thing that refracted the light inside weirdly. One glance at the other two revealed they also didn't know what to think.
Tommy lined up his pistol before anyone could stop him and shot it. Gordon was glad he was far away when it popped and deflated. So gross. Inside, however, was simply one of those weird bioluminescent plants that shied and hid when you got close, and another just, orb of flickering light on the ground, looking out of place in a way.
Because, it...looked like sweet voice, but translucent and a bit larger. Gordon inched closer, curious. He didn't say a word. Tommy crouched down, hovering his hands over it, like he was afraid to touch, and it's light throbbed and flickered weakly. Gordon remained mesmerized.
"Mr. Freeman?" Tommy said, finally, looking up at him with brown eyes reflecting the orb's light, "I think…this is," he paused, "This is Benrey."