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The rain thrummed through the moonlit city of Yokohama, filling the air with the earthy scent of mud and wet concrete.
A few lone people scrambled to get inside, away from the downpour, clutching oversized umbrellas protectively.
A lone man stood in the soaked street, silently admiring the way the city lights blurred softly through the sheets of rain. The view of the city was always alluring, even when his coat was heavy and sodden and his bangs dripped icy water into his eyes. Right now, however, something else was distracting his gaze.
His trained ears easily picked up on the wet smack of footsteps approaching down the street.
"Oi."
Dazai perked up in interest at the rough, insistent voice.
“Looks like it’s your lucky day, mackerel.”
If the voice hadn't already made it clear, Dazai immediately recognized the owner. To be honest he was a bit taken aback to see him here, at such a time.
Chuuya Nakahara stood in the pouring shower, water trailing down his face and soaking his coat that was haphazardly slung over his shoulders. He was still wearing his telltale black hat, the brim spilling over with rainwater. Beneath sodden red bangs, his narrow blue eyes were uncharacteristically dull and lifeless.
“Ah...fancy seeing you here, Chuuya.” Dazai greeted his ex-partner with staged politeness. “You don’t look well.”
“I know.” Chuuya snapped as he took a few steps forward, his boots slushing in the muddy street. “I don’t have time for your bullshit, Dazai. Let’s get straight to the point.”
“Is Chuuya in need of help?” Dazai asked innocently, but his question was pointedly ignored.
Instead Chuuya stopped a few feet in front of Dazai, tilting his chin to glare up at him.
“I’m honored you came to visit me but really, I’m a bit busy right now. I don’t have time to entertain lost dogs.” Dazai waved his hand dismissively as he spoke, preparing to really get bit in retaliation.
But the sharp comeback didn’t come, Chuuya instead just stared at him silently. Now that the other man was closer, Dazai could see how unwell he truly looked- his skin was pale and cold, his eyes shadowed with something too deep for the brunette to comprehend.
How interesting.
“Have you caught a cold, Chibi?” Dazai asked curiously.
“Don’t humor me.” Chuuya frowned, soon dropping his desolate gaze off to his side, leaving Dazai to wonder what was so interesting about the nearby storm drains.
“Well, as I said, I’m a bit busy so if you could spit out-”
“Are you still obsessed with that suicide crap?”
“Huh?” Dazai blinked, taken aback by the other’s sudden inquiry.
This was taking an interesting turn.
“Well, of course.” Dazai spoke casually. “It’s my life’s goal, after all. What makes you ask?”
If possible, Chuuya’s scowl deepened, the shorter male still not taking his eyes away from the ground.
“Chuuuya?” Dazai drew out the name on his tongue, trying to grab the other’s attention. Avoiding eye contact was so unlike Chuuya, it was almost unnerving.
For a moment there was silence except for the rain pattering against the wet pavement and the distant roar of cars dashing through the streets.
Then Chuuya slowly lifted his gaze, the brim of his hat tilting to leave his blue eyes clear and unshadowed. He looked stunningly serious, his eyebrows just barely furrowed.
“Since nobody else wants to die with your sorry ass, I’m about to make your mission a hell lot easier.”
At first Dazai thought this was a pathetic attempt at a death threat, causing him to start to open his mouth in protest. But his brain worked fast and it clicked halfway through, leaving him gaping slightly at Chuuya with widened eyes.
“You…”
“Don’t make me repeat it.” Chuuya growled, now fixing Dazai with a rather intense stare. “Just tell me your answer.”
Dazai shut his mouth into a straight line and blinked a few times, until his expression looked less shocked and more resembling thoughtfulness.
How unexpected…
He wondered what could have driven Chuuya- the confident, loud, high-ranking executive of the Port Mafia, to where he would resort to this? It was wildly out of character and left Dazai with many questions on the tip of his tongue.
He wasn’t necessarily in the position to judge, considering that he’d made it clear to everyone that his deepest heart’s desire was to commit suicide- but he’d never thought of Chuuya as the type of person who’d do the same. He would be lying if he said he wasn't at least slightly concerned, or at least perturbed. Although he viewed death very differently than most of society, something about hearing his ex friend/partner admit to wanting to die made him feel... something. Although he couldn't place a name on it.
“Why do you want to die, Chuuya?” He asked inquisitively, tilting his head slightly.
“If I wanted an interrogation I would’ve gone to literally anybody else.” The ginger-haired male scoffed. “I found you to get this shit over with, not a therapy session.”
“I’m afraid you’ve overestimated my goodwill. I’m simply curious, looking to satisfy my own personal interest.” Dazai responded nonchalantly, to which Chuuya stared at him suspiciously.
“Then you’re in for a disappointment, because I don’t have a satisfying response.”
“Pity.”
Dazai let the rain fall around them for a minute, his own mind still reflecting.
The silence was soon broken by Chuuya, who seemed to be growing not only impatient, but uncomfortable as well.
“You coming with me or not?”
“I just have one more question.” Dazai proposed, earning an eye roll.
“Why not.”
“Why do you want to die with me? Not that I’m not flattered, but I don’t think engaging in a lover’s suicide is your style.”
Chuuya flared up at that, clenching his fists as his face flushed deeply.
“It’s not a lover’s suicide, dumbass!”
“Ah, sorry, sorry.” Dazai smiled and raised his hands in mocking purity. “But my question still stands.”
“Easy.” Chuuya put his hands on his hips as he closed his eyes confidently. “I think the odds of you blinking one second before me are pretty appealing. The last thing I see before I go will be your stupid, dead face. I can die happy.”
“Well, that’s mean.” Dazai whined, although he can’t say the response was unexpected. “And what if you die first?”
“Considering your extreme unluckiness in life, it’s easy to see which of us is favored.” Chuuya insisted, although given his current situation, maybe life resented both of them. “Now, do you want to die of hypothermia in this god-forsaken rain or go find somewhere?”
“Woah, this is all going pretty fast.” Dazai objected. “Do you even have a method picked out? I have yet to select something from my book-”
“I don’t trust anything your book says.” Chuuya grumbled warily. “If I’m going to die, it’s not going to be some stupid way, like a block of tofu to the head.”
“That’s offending, Chuuya, as I personally tried out that technique and it was nearly successful-”
“No.” Chuuya cut him off and reached a gloved hand deep into the pocket of his suit, smoothly extracting two dark objects…
They were handguns, the same exact model. The dark metal glistened with rain, but the redhead’s grip was firm.
“Ooh, you were prepared.” Dazai’s eyes widened. “You brought one for me too! Say, Chuuya, how’d you know I would agree?”
“Anybody with half a brain would assume you would.”
“Ah, but suicide with a beautiful woman is the only way for me…”
One of the guns was suddenly tossed through the air, cutting through the rain and landing heavily in Dazai’s hand. Chuuya’s own hand was left outstretched.
“Just take it, Dazai.”
Dazai looked down at the pistol in his palm, still not entirely convinced.
“Maybe if you did your little rich girl impression, I could close my eyes and pretend.”
“Not a chance.”
Dazai gave a hum of disappointment, but he had to admit that the offer was tempting regardless. Not committing suicide with a lover after spending so long searching for one would be anticlimatic but at the same time… was there really a point, if nothing would matter after his death?
Even if he had to bid farewell with his old friend-turned-enemy, should he take what he could get? Chuuya wasn't his lover, but he did know him better than anyone, even with complicated feelings of resentment mixed in.
Plus the idea of death, of his soul fading away until there was nothing left of him in this meaningless world… it always sent him into a daze.
“Don’t you want to finally complete your dream?” Chuuya persuaded, pointing his own handgun towards Dazai’s chest, keeping his finger off the trigger. “In one second, we’ll both be free.”
He knew Chuuya wouldn't push it much more if he denied his offer.
“I suppose you know me well, Chuuya.” Dazai relented.
“So is that a yes?” Chuuya raised one eyebrow, waiting for confirmation.
“Indeed.”
It was difficult to tell underneath the pouring rain and little light, but Dazai swore that Chuuya was almost smiling in satisfaction.
“Alright, come on, bandaged freak. I’m getting out of this street.”
“Whatever you say, Chibi.” Dazai shrugged as he flipped the gun in his hand so his fingers were firmly around the base, beginning to follow the shorter male through the ankle-deep sea of rainwater.
The two walked silently beneath the street lamps, the cold metal of the pistols pressing identically against their palms.
Death was so close, Dazai could almost taste it.
It never failed to excite him.
Suddenly, Chuuya froze, causing Dazai to nearly bump into him, stumbling over his footing.
“Oi, watch it!” Chuuya snapped, backing away as he extended a black, gloved hand, pointing a finger off into an alleyway. “Follow me closely.”
“I don’t know, you’re so short, I might lose sight of you.” Dazai droned, earning himself a sharp elbow in the ribs.
“Keep your mouth shut as well.”
“Fiiine.” Dazai frowned as he followed Chuuya around the corner, wondering if it was worth asking where he was taking them.
Eh, surprises are fun.
It turned out to actually be difficult to keep sight of Chuuya once they were deeper in the alleyway and light grew even scarcer. A couple times Dazai thought he had really been left behind.
After a while of aimlessly following Chuuya like a dog to it’s master, the other halted suddenly, once again nearly causing a collision.
“Chuuya, please stop doing that.” Dazai whined, wiping some rain from his eyes as he blinked blearily at the other man.
“All we have to do is climb up here.” Chuuya said, gesturing in front of them. Now that he mentioned it, Dazai realized that there was indeed a metal staircase twisting up the side of the building, unnoticeable in the dark.
“The metal will be slippery from the rain. We might end up losing our footing and dying that way.” Dazai warned cautiously.
“It’ll be fine.” Chuuya sounded questionably confident as he grabbed hold of the rusty railing, which almost seemed to quiver. Dazai was more than happy to stand by while Chuuya took the first step, the smaller male skipping a few steps with the first hop.
Dazai followed more carefully, keeping a firm grasp on the rain-slicked railing and taking each step with precision.
The two slowly climbed, listening to the precipitation and quiet grunting noises from each other as they dragged themselves up higher and higher. At some point Dazai glances downwards to see the city below, a blur of shadows, glowing lights, and reflective pools of water. It was almost tempting to hop off the railing right here and now.
“Hey, move faster.” Chuuya called down to him, to which Dazai hummed in response.
“Just doing some sightseeing. The city looks really beautiful right now, Chuuya. Sucks that you’re missing it.”
“You can admire the view all you want once we’re at the top.” Chuuya muttered, which Dazai considered fair enough.
After a few minutes that felt like hours, the roof was finally in sight. Chuuya climbed up first, holding the railing and heaving his body over the edge, glancing back down at Dazai.
“Chuuya, please grab my hand.” Dazai whined dramatically.
“No.” The other man disappeared from view, leaving Dazai to struggle up on his own.
Rude Chuuya… Very rude.
After a few more miserable thoughts and some steps, Dazai ended up with his feet firmly on the roof’s surface. Chuuya was standing a few feet away, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his pistol at his hip. “Now you get your view.”
“Ahh, you’re right.” Dazai’s pouting was forgotten as he straightened up, taking a few steps towards the edge. He couldn’t help but draw in a breath at the sight. The city looked truly magnificent beneath the rain, the many bright lights blurred and seemingly wavering. It was nearly impossible to discern each building from the other.
“Don’t jump yet.” Chuuya warned.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t come all the way up here for some passing, half-baked attempt.” He turned to gaze at Chuuya over his shoulder, a content smile playing on his lips. He raised the gun in his hand, holding it up in clear sight.
“I was thinking we could stand at the edge when we pull the trigger- our bodies will fall and that way if we somehow survive the original shot, we’ll be done for in a few minutes anyways.” Chuuya said.
“That does sound lovely.” Dazai mused, as if they were discussing a coffee date.
“Alright then.” A serious expression suddenly swept across Chuuya’s face as his eyes narrowed, fixed steadily on Dazai’s face. “We’re doing it. Don’t pull any funny shit.”
“When have I ever?” Dazai feigned innocence, but quickly dropped the act to stare at Chuuya with an equally solemn expression. “Don’t worry, Chuuya. I must say, you chose the most reliable person to do this with.”
“And no backing out?”
Dazai almost wanted to laugh, a sly smile spreading across his face.
“Is that even a question?”