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“Come on Kaashi-kun. Just put that poor idiot outta his misery already.”
Akaashi blinks. Perhaps accepting Bokuto-san’s invitation to hang out with him after one of the Jackals promotional events in Tokyo had been a bad idea. Then again, he couldn’t have predicted Miya Atsumu’s surprise addition to the evening.
“I think you must be mistaken, Atsumu-san” Akaashi says carefully, “Osamu-san and I are just friends.”
It was true. Yes, they had been spending a lot of time together since Onigiri Miya’s Tokyo branch opened up near his office 6 months ago, but Osamu had never given any indication that he was interested in Keiji as more than a friend. Akaashi didn’t necessarily want that to be the case but he’s never been one to entertain the impossible or, at the very least, the extremely unlikely.
.
“I don’t think he’s mistaken, Keiji. Miya-san was basically the human embodiment of the heart eye emoji every time he looked your way that time we had lunch together in Onigri Miya. Save your breathe, though, Atsumu-kun. Our Keiji doesn’t pick up on romantic advances from people until they spell it for him and even then his first instinct is to convince them that they’re not feeling what they think they’re feeling.” Kuroo adds with the same infuriatingly cheeky grin he’s had since high school. That’s problem with having the same friends since you were 16. They remember every stupid thing you’ve ever done. Akaashi feels a headache creeping up.
“Kuroo san, I think you’re being quite unfair. I’ve changed a lot since high school. In any case I still maintain that Kaori-san only confessed to me because she was a volleyball fan I had just been made captain.”
“Naw Akaashi, Kaori was definitely into you.” Akaashi hears from behind him. Great. Bokuto has now returned from the bathroom and he too can join in the fun of analysing Akaashi’s romantic failures, past and present. “She’d been eyeing you since my second year. You weren’t even starting setter back then!” Bokuto says as he plops down in the chair next to Kuroo.
“Why are we talking about Kaori-chan anyway?” Bokuto asks, looking around at all of them curiously.
“Atsumu-kun here was just trying to convince Keiji to acknowledge Osamu-kun’s crush on him and it came up.” Kuroo replies, that cursed grin plastered safely back on his face.
“Oh yeah. Myaa-sam’s got it back huh?” Bokuto says. He sounds both amused and affectionate.
“Has everyone picked up on this except for me?” Akaashi splutters. It was certainly true that Bokuto-san wasn’t half as unaware as most people tended to think but it still surprised Keiji that he would notice something like this.
“I mean he hasn’t said anything to me but he’s not exactly chill about it is he, Tsum Tsum? Every time he hangs out with us in Osaka he manages to bring you up, Akaashi. I mean I guess that’s kinda expected cause you’re my best friend and all, but he does it way too often for it to be normal” Bokuto explains.
“Yeah that fool wouldn’ know subtlety if it hit him in the face. To be fair on the poor scrub, there aren’t that many subtle ways of asking yer brother if his team-mates friend from high school is single.” Atsumu adds.
“Osamu san really asked you that?” Akaashi asks. Well this was a surprising turn of events. He wasn’t lying when he had said Osamu had never given him hope in any shape or form. Akaashi feels a little bubble of hope forming in his gut. He has had a crush on the man for a very long time now. “Why wouldn’t he just ask me?”.
“‘Cause he’s too scared to put himself out there just the way yer clearly too clueless to pick up on his humongous crush on ya.” Atsumu says, his beer sloshing around dangerously in the hand that wasn’t currently pointing at Akaashi.
“I’m gettin’ real tired of it though. Ya should’ve seen his face when I told him I was hanging out with ya today. He didn’t even look this sad when I got invited to the all-Japan youth training camp and he didn’t. Yes yes we know Bokkun, it was a real goddamn travesty ya didn’t get invited either.”
Akaashi snorts at Bokuto-san’s mouth opening then closing within the space of a second.
“Anyway,” Atsumu continues, “ ‘snot like we’d be hanging out with you guys if he didn’t have work so I don’t know what the scrub was so miserable about.”
Ah yes, the only reason Atsumu was here and not spending quality one-on-one time with his twin was because Osamu had to cover for one of his part-timers last minute.
“Ok well this probably isn’t going to get anywhere. How about this, Keiji, now that we’ve had this conversation and you’re hopefully more open to the possibility of Miya-san liking you, why don’t you reassess how he treats you and decide for yourself. I don’t see why you wouldn’t. You’re single and he’s exactly your type.” Kuro suggests.
Akaashi hated it when Kuroo made sense. He was right though.
“Osamu-san is everyone’s type.” Keiji mutters, almost involuntarily.
“So that means I’m everyone’s type too right? Am I yer type too ‘Kaashi-kun?” Atsumu asks.
“Bo, weren’t telling you us how Osamu-san unanimously won the ‘Who is the hotter Miya-twin’ poll in the Black Jackal’s group-chat?” Kuroo asks innocently.
“Fuck you, Bokkun! I know ya guys all planned that.” Atsumu whines
“Yeah, that happened. I was about to give you a pity vote but Omi told me that would be actually be insulting and that I should be honest with you, Tsum-Tsum.” Bokuto says. He’s laughing now and so is Kuroo.
“Fuck Omi-kun too, I woulda taken the goddamn pity vote. Fuckin’ embarassin’” Atsumu grumbles, but he’s smiling. Kuroo and Bokuto’s laughter turns out to be too contagious to ignore and soon he’s reluctantly joining in too.
Maybe coming out with them hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.
*
Although his friends had just about redeemed themselves by being their boisterous and hilarious selves for the rest of the evening, Akaashi couldn’t keep his mind off their conversation about Osamu afterwards. It’s been five days since that fateful night and it was all Akaashi had been thinking about since.
He’s considers where this situation could possibly be heading as he’s making his weekly after-work trip to Onigiri Miya. Was it possible that Miya Osamu of all people would like someone like him? He doesn’t effortlessly stand out like Bokuto-san, nor is he funny or charming like Kuroo-san. Keiji is just an awkward, shy, haggard, overworked man who devotes most of his life to his soul-destroying job.
Akaashi tries to let go of that self deprecating line of thinking. He is routinely chastised by friends and therapists alike for his tendency to be unkind to himself. Akaashi knows he’s smart, he has a decent job and he’s been called beautiful enough times over the years to concede that at the very least he isn’t unattractive.If he gets out of his head, he can acknowledge that he would probably be considered a decent candidate as a potential romantic partner by most. But is that enough for a man like Miya Osamu? Perhaps, the problem lies in the framing of the question, Akaashi thinks.
‘Would Miya Osamu go for someone like Akaashi Keiji?’ was an unfair question to pose. ‘
Would someone like Miya Osamu go for Akaashi Keiji?’ was much more reasonable.
The difference was subtle but that subtlety was significant. Akaashi might be reasonably attractive but Osamu? Osamu was something else completely. Tall, dark and handsome Osamu, with his broad chest, droopy eyes and lazy grin. Osamu with his deep voice which could somehow be both gravelly and smooth at the same time, that made Akaashi’s heart skip a beat every time he walks through the doors of his restaurant and Osamu greets him with a lazy smile. Osamu who Keiji had personally seen getting hit on multiple times by men and women, some of them very attractive, though he seemed to be very popular with aunties and grandmothers as well. Akaashi had always found the way he turns pink and banters his way out of those situations so funny and charming. Osamu could have anyone he wanted, that much was obvious.
*
Akaashi had been so caught up in his thoughts that before he knew it, he was standing across the street from the entrance of Onigiri Miya. It was 10 minutes to closing time so it would have to be takeaway again today. He elected to stay outside and peer in through the big windows that covered half the wall for a few moments. A couple of tables were occupied with customers finishing the last of their meals and there was Osamu, tall and handsome. Standing next him was someone Akaashi knew as Minako, a college student who worked part time at the restaurant most nights. Osamu was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, chuckling at something she was showing him on her phone.
He was so gorgeous.
Akaashi realises too late that he’s probably been standing there staring for longer than is considered normal. He briefly makes eye contact with Minako who then nudges Osamu and whispers something in his ear. Osamu looks up from Minako’s phone and makes eye contact with Akaashi and smiles. Akaashi supposes it would look a bit weird to remain standing outside now that he’s been spotted and starts walking towards the door. From the corner of his eye he can see Minako whisper something in Osamu’s ear again and causing him blush and lightly knock her on the head. Well that was certainly very interesting. Akaashi can hear her laughter as he enters
“Hi. I didn’t think ya’d come today.” Osamu’s still slightly pink but he doesn’t seem flustered. Just happy to see him, Akaashi thinks. He feels the bubble of hope that had been created in his heart five days ago expand slightly.
“I haven’t missed a week since my first time here, Osamu-san” Akaashi smiles.
“That’s true but it’s so close to closing time I thought maybe ya got too busy with work this week.” Osamu replies.
“Oh right yes my apologies. I don’t want to inconvenience you or Minako-chan so I’ll just take 4 of whatever you have left to go please, if that’s okay, Osamu-san.” Akaashi says, bowing slightly.
“Nah don’t apologise! I’m glad ya came. That reminds me. It’s a good thing ya did end up comin’ today ‘cause I made something for ya. One sec, lemme just go and get it” Osamu says, his voice trailing off as walks into the door behind the counter.
He re-emerges with a package a few seconds later.
“Here ya go! They’re not on the menu but I made a few with a grilled eel filling.”Osamu says, looking proud.
“I mean it might not be exactly like what ya said ya used to get from the store next to yer grandparents house growin’ up but I think ya might still like it” he adds, now nervously rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.
“Osamu-san, I...thank you. You really didn’t have to do this for me, you know” Akaashi says. He had only told Osamu about that to share one of my favourite childhood memories and had thought nothing of it. He is touched and If he truly allows himself to give in to the feeling he could probably even shed a tear or two; contrary to popular belief, he was an easy crier. The bubble in Akaashi’s heart grows bigger as does his desire to grab Osamu’s handsome face and kiss his tiny, slightly nervous smile.
“No I know that. I just wanted to make it for ya. Besides it’s been sittin’ in the fridge for a few hours so ya might not even like it. Thank me after ya try it” Osamu replies with a grin.
Akaashi already knows he’s going to cherish every single bite like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted, regardless of what it actually tastes like. Although it certainly helps that he’s consumed enough of Miya Osamu’s cooking that the chances of it tasting anything less than absolutely delicious are less than 0.
“I don’t think you need to worry about that, Osamu-san. I’ve loved everything you’ve ever made for me”, Akaashi responds.
“But how did you know I was definitely going to come today?” Eel isn’t the kind of filling that would keep for very long and Akaashi knows how seriously Osamu takes the freshness of his ingredients. He must have prepared it today.
“Well ya mostly always come here either on Tuesdays or Thursdays...I made a batch on Tuesday too but ya didn’t come so I ended up eating that myself... just as well that I did cause I think I put too much sugar in the unagi sauce and I know ya don’t like too much sweetness in things that aren’t dessert... anyway I made another batch today and it came out much nicer I think.” By the time Osamu is done rambling, the bubble in Akaashi’s heart has fully graduated to hot air balloon status.
There’s a back and forth for a few minutes where Akaashi attempts to pay Osamu, who completely refuses on the rather dubious logic that since this item isn’t on the menu he hasn’t thought of a price for it. In any case, Akaashi never asked for it so it’s unfair to make him pay, he argues.
Akaashi probably would have fought his case harder under ordinary circumstances but his mind was occupied elsewhere. Osamu remembers his schedule. Osamu listens to him, really listens. He listens carefully enough to remember Akaashi’s favourite konbini snack when he was 12. He cares. He cares enough to make that snack. Twice. His twin, the person closest to him in this world, thinks Akaashi has a real chance.
Best case scenario, he will feel the same way. Worst case, he won’t but he’ll continue to be Akaashi’s friend. If there’s anything Akaashi’s observations in the 15 minutes since he walked in (and Osamu’s behaviour over the last six months, if Akaashi really thinks about it) have shown him is that at the very least, Osamu cares about him deeply. That can be enough for him, Akaashi thinks but if there’s a chance Osamu sees him as more than a friend he has to do all he can to take it.
It’s an easy decision to make in the end. He’s going to confess and put all his cards on the table. After getting home tonight, he’s going text Osamu asking to meet him somewhere that isn’t Onigiri Miya over the weekend and he’ll tell him how he feels then. For now, Akaashi decided he should probably put Minako out of her misery. The last of Onigiri Miya’s customers had all paid and left and she must have dealt with everything, considering the minute Akaashi walked in he had clearly unintentionally monopolised the entirety of Osamu’s attention.
“It’s getting quite late Osamu-san. I think I should let you and Minako-chan close up in peace. I’ll text you how I feel about the onigiri later tonight, but I think we both know that the probability of me not loving something you’ve made is extremely low.” Akaashi says.
“Miya-san, I can clean up on my own why don’t you go walk Akaashi-san to the station? He might appreciate the company and you’re always slower when there’s something on your mind anyway” Minako calls out from where she’s currently wiping down a table. She’s looking straight at Osamu with a huge shit-eating grin. Akaashi whips his head back in time to see a pink tinged Osamu widening his eyes at her in warning, but he doesn’t say anything to turn down her suggestion.
“Thats very thoughtful of you Minako-chan” Keiji smiles. “But that won’t be necessary. I’m sure Osamu-san has a lot to do and I am perfectly capable of getting there by myself.”
“No, I, uh, I could definitely walk ya to the station Akaashi-kun. We didn’t really get to hang out this week. I was planning on textin’ ya tonight anyway if ya didn’t show up. ” Osamu says earnestly.
“to catch up I mean”, he adds quickly.
“In that case, please walk me to the station, Osamu-san. I would love the company.” Akaashi says through a smile that he tries and fails to suppress. He’s feeling very confident now. The self-deprecating part of Akaashi’s mind is trying very hard to resist the direction of his thoughts, but Akaashi is nothing if not logical and analytical.
He has observed Osamu for the last half hour. The evidence is before him and its telling him that he could have a boyfriend, sooner rather than later. A very hot, muscular boyfriend who can cook. It’s telling him that if he plays his cards right, Akaashi could potentially win this game called life.
*
“Anyway, then Minako spends her whole lunch-break creating a tinder account for Yamashita, who keeps walking up to her between orders, beggin’ her to stop, before havin’ to rush back to the tables. She kept refusin’ and yellin’ the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. You should’ve been there, Akaashi-san. They were bein’ so loud and chaotic even some of the customers were laughin’”
Most of the walk had involved Osamu and Akaashi filling each other in on what had happened in their lives over the last week. They had reached the station with 15 minutes til the next train and Osamu was in the process of finishing off one last anecdote, although getting words out through his laughter was proving to be difficult.
“Did that deter Minako-chan from accomplishing her task?” Akaashi asks. He was also finding it difficult to stop smiling, both because of the story as well as the effect it had on Osamu. He was so adorable like this, with his eyes sparkling and all of his shiny, white teeth on display.
“Hell no. She can be very persistent. She wanted to make one for me too but since I hadn’ been cheated on lately I was low on the priority list.” Osamu chuckles.
“Did Yamashita-kun get mad?” Akaashi probes.
“Nah, I think he was actually enjoyin’ it. B’sides it’s probably good for him to get out there after what happened and Tinder’s meant to be good for that kinda thing.” Osamu says. He’s quiet for a moment and Akaashi has been observing him closely enough to notice something in his expression shift.
“Do you use it ‘Kaashi-kun?” Osamu’s voice stays casual but Akaashi thinks his eyes now look too tense for the light-hearted conversation they were having moments ago.
“No, I do not.” Akaashi replies slowly.
“Why not? I mean Yamashita hasn’t been too successful in his first week usin’ it but lots of other people I know have found someone through it” Osamu says. He’s not laughing anymore and suddenly the moment is serious.
“Because I already have someone I really like Osamu-san” Akaashi says and internally slaps himself. He hadn’t meant to start playing this game so soon.There are only about 10 minutes left til his train arrives.
“Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah I thought ya might..” Osamu trails off, his eyes now downcast. Akaashi couldn’t suppress the wave of affection at seeing his hopeful face suddenly fall. He had to actively fight the urge to lunge into his arms, kiss him and wipe that tiny frown off that stupidly handsome face.
“So what’s the problem? Why aren’tcha dating them? Do ya think they might not like ya back?” Osamu meets his eye again.
“Hmm actually I think there’s a very high probability that they do like me back, Osamu-san” Akaashi says, not quite being able to suppress his smile.
“Yeah. ‘Course. Why wouldn’ they?” Osamu says, the smile on his face looking a bit strained but his eyes are still looking at Akaashi with so much affection that it takes his breath away.
Akaashi suddenly feels the overwhelming need to put this beautiful man out of his misery as soon as possible, just as Atsumu had urged him to 5 days ago. This little game was no longer fun for him. He wanted desperately to make Osamu’s hurt go away. There was no reason someone as kind and confident as Osamu needed to be left feeling sad and unsure of himself any longer than was absolutely necessary. Akaashi makes up his mind
“So why can’t ya make a mov—-“
“Well, do you?” Akaashi interrupts. He can feel his heart beating a powerful rhythm in his chest.
“Huh? Do I what?” Osamu asks, his brow scrunched up slightly in confusion.
“Do you like me back, Osamu-san?.” Akaashi says, keeping his eyes locked with Osamu’s. If he were any less invested in the answer he might have laughed at the expression on Osamu’s face right now; His eyes slightly widened, his mouth hanging open.
“Do I like ya… back?” Osamu manages to say, still looking stunned.
“Yes. Do you like me back Osamu-san?” Akaashi takes a deep breath. Might as well lay it all on the table “Because I like you. I like you very very much. Spending time with you, getting to know you has been the best thing about my life over the last six months and I... I hope we can continue doing that as something more than just friends.”
“More than just....Are ya being serious Keiji-kun? This isn’ a joke right? Did ‘Tsumu tell you to do this?” Osamu asks, but he takes a step closer to Keiji. His smile is wide now and is finally reaching his eyes. It’s a bright-eyed joyous thing and Akaashi is finding it very hard not to mirror it.
“Osamu-san do you think really I’d do something like that?” Akaashi says, taking another step and closing the small amount of distance that had been left between them.
“No I don’t. But I hadta cover all my bases. ‘B’sides, Tsumus been on my case about ya for ages so I had to make sure that scrub had nothin to do with it” Osamu replies, through a grin.
Akaashi decides to save the story for what prompted this confession in the first place for a better time.
“Ya must already know I’m crazy about ya, Keiji. Everyone at the shop makes fun of me for it. I’ve liked you since I saw you at the Adlers game in Sendai last year and I’ve been too scared to say anything to ya.” Osamu says, with so much sincerity that Akaashi can’t for the life of him figure out how he’s missed all the signs for all these months.
“Believe it not, it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure it out actually.” Akaashi says and Osamu laughs.
“Wow. I still can’t believe this is actually happenin’” Osamu says, sounding breathless. “Can I kiss ya now Akaashi or do I have to wait another six months for that? It’s been really hard seein’ yer pretty face every day and not being able to touch ya” Osamu says.
Now it’s Akaashi’s turn to be a blushing mess and he fights the urge to hide his face in his hands. His need to get his hands on Osamu is much much stronger. He puts his arms around Osamu’s neck, tilts his head up. Osamu meets him the rest of the way there. The kiss is chaste and gentle and Osamu tries to pulls apart after a few moments but Akaashi’s been pining after him for too long to let it stop there. Akaashi places one hand on the back of Osamu’s neck and the other on his cheek and puts his mouth back on Osamu’s, kissing him much more deeply than before. He can feel Osamu smiling against his mouth.
He’s glad its late and that there aren’t a lot of people around, otherwise he would probably be feeling guilty for subjecting innocent bystanders to this display. Their bodies are tightly pressed together now and Akaashi’s tongue is fully in Osamu’s mouth. First date (not that this really counts as one at all, Akaashi thinks) etiquette be damned, he never thought he’d be able to touch Osamu like this and he wasn’t going to waste another second.
When they pull apart after a few minutes Osamu looks down at Keiji through hooded eyes and has a dopey fucked-out smile on his face. Keiji laughs at how adorable he looks, and gives him one, two, three more kisses on his mouth.
“If I stay here any longer I’ll miss my train, Osamu-san and I don’t think I should spend the night at your place before we even have our first date” Akaashi says with his arms still around Osamu’s neck.
“I think ya can do whatever the hell ya want, Keiji” Osamu chuckles as he pulls Akaashi into another kiss.
And when Akaashi does inevitably end up breaking several more first date rules later that night, he really can’t bring himself to be too upset about it.