Chapter Text
“What if you fall down?”
“Push me gently.”
The couple simultaneously said as the camera pans to capture Renjun’s fond smile, sitting on a floating watermelon inflatable. He’s slowly getting comfortable with the thrill while Jaemin’s soft voice could be heard in the background, his gaze following the delicate boy.
The scene transitions to show Jaemin’s calming presence of reassurance as he sat comfortably, “I can’t go there, I won’t push you.” He teased, adding some gibberish silly noises.
“I’ll do it myself, then.” Renjun followed the same playful tone the younger used on him, and did push gently from the edge of the pool.
The scene ends with a soft giggle from Renjun.
This was shot for their new youtube content called 7llin’ in the Dream . It features a simple trip to a vacation house in a rural area, away from the press and the aggravating stress. In preparation for their first full-length album after 5 years, they're hoping this one-day vacation would strengthen their bond as a group, serve as a healing sanctuary from what lies ahead and make up for the lost time.
“C’mon!” Renjun pleaded for Jaemin to join him but failed since the latter insisted to stay by his side.
“I’ll just be here, probably gonna watch you fall.”
“Do I really have to fall for you to join me?”
“Well, haven't you fallen in love with me?”
Renjun glared at him, and out of annoyance, he playfully splashed a little water aiming at Jaemin’s smirk. The latter winced, successfully dodging the sudden attack.
“You can use that coconut tree over there! ” The smaller whined but uncontrollably chuckled at his own remark, pertaining to the little coconut tree inflatable floating around. For sure it wouldn’t fit in Jaemin’s arm, given its petite size.
The younger scoffed, "It’s okay. Just have fun.”
“I’m too lazy to change anyway.” Jaemin deadpanned before they could hear Mark calling everyone for lunch.
Renjun panicked at how he was stuck in the middle of the pool. When Jaemin was about to reach out from his spot to gently push the inflatable, the older paddled his hands, moving towards the pool stairs. Sooner or later, Jaemin waited for Renjun to get off from the pool and dried his soaked legs with a towel. They both went to the kitchen to help set up for lunch.
—
The members were all seated together, eating bibimmyeon on a hot summer weekday. Mark confessed to the group that he and Jeno already decided who will go grocery shopping.
Jeno gave a hint that they are sitting together as of this moment. By then, everyone knew who it was without even saying it and bursted into laughter once Hyuck and Jaemin realized they were chosen for the task. Mark reasoned out that the meat for dinner is important, so they should at least send out someone (Jaemin) who knows how to grill meat.
In the end, all of them agreed that Hyuck, Jaemin and Renjun should go grocery shopping.
But not everything we see is caught on camera.
It was a quiet ride to the grocery store. Hyuck nags Renjun by sending him text messages.
Lee Haechan (Hyuck)
you seem to like me too much 😉
i heard from jeno you want to go to the grocery store with me, leaving your boyfriend out.
It seems like Jeno told Hyuck the incident a while ago. He found it suspicious when Renjun volunteered himself and his best friend to go grocery shopping. He observed how Renjun pursed his lips when he mentioned Jaemin and bitterly agreed.
Huang Renjun
yeah
it’s because i wanted to talk to you
Lee Haechan
and what could that be?
It took a while for Renjun to reply back.
Huang Renjun
i’m going to break up with jaemin
Lee Haechan
YOU’RE WHAT?!?
—
Hyuck finds a way to drag Renjun to a secluded lane of toiletries in the grocery store, momentarily away from the cameraman and Jaemin’s line of sight.
“What do you mean you guys are breaking up?”
Renjun shushed Hyuck but to no avail. “I thought you guys were avoiding each other because of what happened during the Ridin' era?”
“Hyuck, I don’t have time for this.” Renjun sighed.
“Yes, you do have time in your hands. There’s still time before I stop you from making rash decisions.”
“Rash decisions? You think I haven’t thought about this through when it’s all I think about every single day?!?” He exclaimed, completely vexed by what he heard and furiously ranted to him in a hushed manner.
“Fine, during the Ridin' era, I admit that we were kinda inseparable in almost every interview or shooting. I called him while he’s hosting a vlive and even invited him as a special guest for my radio show. We even had our own vlive for the yorijori and carried each other during our first win. He was proud to tell the fans about the choco pie incident. For god’s sake, we almost kissed in that love chair punishment—”
Hyuck rolled his eyes in disgust, “Just go straight to the point.”
“We were called out by the company for that, but ever since then, things may have been strangely quiet. I understand during NCT 2020 that he was busy with two comebacks in a row so I don’t want to bother him but lately, he wants to be alone. There’s nothing wrong with that but…”
“So it doesn’t feel like you’re in a relationship anymore?” Hyuck said. He clicked his tongue, his eyebrows furrowed to see Renjun’s looks falter.
“Yeah,” The older looked down, fidgeting around the ssamjang Hyuck found. “ It’s only a matter of time that we break up before it could become something worse.” he glanced back at Jaemin buying meat.
For a moment, his world slowed down. His eyes fixated on Jaemin. He could visualize the way he smiled to the meat vendor behind the mask. It reminds him of how they used to be a year ago, longing to see his quirky and bubbly personality who initiates aegyo battles and cuddles in the dorm. Back then, he knows how to tame down his aegyo and unpredictability by giving the same amount of energy and peculiarity which was greatly appreciated. Now, it dawned on him how distant they’ve become for the past few months.
He wondered what happened and why has it led to something like this?
“Renjun-ah… so this breakup agenda you have, is this a plan in action or should I tell you some advice?”
The smaller painted a faint smile on his face, “A plan in action.”
—
Although Renjun loved the way Jaemin cooked the meat to perfection, he felt uneasy looking at his boyfriend grilling pork alone in the corner. While the members are eating, Renjun asked them,
“Did Jaemin eat any meat?”
“Yeah.” Hyuck replied.
If only Renjun had a little knowledge about grilling, then he would gladly volunteer to help but sadly, that wasn’t the case. He felt a sense of relief, knowing Jaemin managed to eat some tendon and sirloin in spite of how meat is in demand for their dinner.
Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate, receiving a message notification.
Lee Haechan
For someone who plans to break up with him, your actions say otherwise
Hyuck shrugs when the older glared at him. He remained indifferent but it was only a delicate facade of what he truly felt.
—
In the succeeding hours, Renjun is trying to withstand the dwindling intoxication from a can of Kloud. He could vividly remember how he was jamming with Mark hyung, and how he almost shed a tear from singing Someone You Loved because it calls out his currently overlooked relationship. He could remember drinking a few glasses from playing beer pong and not washing the dishes.
He could remember his boyfriend introducing bani bani to the group and how it deeply affected him. It reminds him of their common interests, shared experiences and the secrets entrusted to each other. Every passing moment is looking like a blur and with the help of alcohol, his mind reminisces back to the palpable romantic feeling ignited by Jaemin.
He could also recall the way Jaemin sat beside him while looking at the fiery embers of a cozy campfire. The younger silently tried to approach him, reaching out his hand to subtly give warmth from the shivering cold but the staff were starting to set up the cameras.
His mind would suddenly dwell upon what Jaemin whispered while Jisung softly rambles on how he was anxious the night before.
“Renjun-ah, would you like to go out with me?”
The smaller was intrigued, his ears perked up. It’s been ages since the last time they went out together.
And maybe that’s all he’s asking for.
A little push to make him stay.
“I know I’m kinda tipsy but I’ll tell you a little secret… From the looks of your puffy face every morning, I think you need some good night’s sleep.”
Jaemin softly giggled and Renjun slightly felt the urge to fight him but it would ruin the resounding echoes of nostalgia and pulsating heartbeats from laidback intimate conversations.
“So I thought maybe after the CVS rendezvous we usually do, maybe we could go to the nearest furniture store and… find a new good bed for you.”
To be honest, Renjun would always find time to sleep but lately, he couldn’t. He’d stay awake and stare at the ceiling for hours from his own doubts, regrets and the future yet he couldn’t risk sliding down from first rank especially that he’s winning the bet between the members. In spite of his lack of sleep, he wouldn’t complain to his members and go on with the numerous photoshoots and group appointments. Though Jaemin didn’t exactly hit at the right spot but thought of his Jaeminie concerned for his being made his heart flutter once more.
“I’d love to.” Renjun was pleased, looking forward to that day. In the end, he realized he couldn't break up with him.
Not like this. Or maybe never.
He could remember sending these text messages.
Huang Renjun
you’re right
i haven’t thought about this through
i think i’m not gonna break up with him
But he couldn’t remember sending these messages to his boyfriend.
Na Jaemin
you wanted to break up with me?
Huang Renjun
what
WAIT WHAT
—
Renjun was restlessly trying to sleep, endlessly convincing himself the wrong send incident was just a dream. He tells himself he’s not that tipsy to pull off some wicked trick and carelessness on his part since he has high alcohol tolerance.
Suddenly, he could hear slight movement, some faint footsteps of someone coming up to the second floor. He clutched the blanket under his nose, and slightly peered through to unexpectedly see a glimpse of Jisung and Jaemin part ways, the latter walking towards him. He instantly squeezed his eyes shut and pretended to sleep.
All he could hear was a soft rueful sigh, and maybe a few sniffs… from the cold, he wouldn’t know. He tried his best to not flinch when Jaemin brushed through his hair. He could feel his heart throb when the younger left a kiss on his forehead. From the view of his closed eyelids, the figure slowly walked away, seeing the moving specks of light reflected from the outside.
Then he could hear Mark groan, “Are you okay?”
Renjun peered through to see Jaemin approached Mark. The older scooting over to the side to give space for the younger to sleep beside him.
“No...” Jaemin mumbled. Mark cuddled up to him once he lied down. “I couldn’t sleep anyway.” The younger added, feeling small by Mark’s arms wrapped around him.
“Sure, just make yourself comfortable, bro.” Mark said before they both doze off to sleep.
—
In the next morning, Renjun deemed himself ready to confront these frustrations and unsaid feelings with Jaemin. He was ready to explain what he felt for the past few months that led to the accidental slip of these sent text messages. He was ready to fix their relationship, and even build it again from scratch if needed.
He was ready to love Jaemin again in a new light and understand him from his point of view.
But all of those thoughts erased when he received these text messages when he woke up.
Na Jaemin
you’re right
we should break up