Work Text:
Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
On Old long syne.
- Auld Lang Syne
===
“OK, seriously, not to be a stick in the mud, but I am so not in the mood for this. We’ve been on the slopes all day, and now she wants to go out?” Charlie groaned.
“Stop your whining, ya big baby,” Tanith said, slapping him lightly on the arm. “This is for Meryl, and you’re twenty-seven, not eighty. Shit.”
Charlie rolled his eyes as he zipped up his jacket, following Tanith out of the hotel room. “I just don’t get why we couldn't just meet up for dinner, like we did for my birthday? That was nice. Was it not?”
“Yes, but you’re an old man, and had to be in bed by ten o’clock.” Tanith shot him a look. “It’s New Year’s Eve, Charlie. It’s the one night of the year I get you to stay up after midnight. And furthermore, this is probably the one and only time I’ll ever get you to go out on that day, so suck it up, already.”
“If it wasn’t for Meryl…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
===
They arrived at the bar around 10:30 pm, and the place was already packed. Charlie resisted the urge to groan out loud. He wasn't really a drinker, and he hated the bar scene. But Meryl had insisted that he and Tanith stay over in Lake Placid for an extra night to celebrate New Year’s Eve and her birthday with her and Fedor, her former and now current boyfriend. Or, at least, Charlie thought they were dating again.
With Meryl, you never knew.
Charlie had been convinced she was in a hot-and-heavy affair with Maksim Chmerkovskiy during Dancing With the Stars, only to find out they’d barely made it to second base. (They had ended up hooking up after the show, but that was neither here nor there, and he hadn't heard that from Meryl, either. It turned out that Sharna knew a lot more than he’d originally assumed.)
In any case, he and Tanith were meeting Meryl and Fedor at some bar in Lake Placid. The only problem was, it was one of two bars in Lake Placid that weren't attached to a ski resort, as the actual downtown was tiny. So the place was packed practically wall-to-wall. Charlie wasn’t claustrophobic, generally, but just looking at the crowd was making him weary. He made it halfway through the bar before a tiny hand grabbed his arm with surprising force, pulling him into a small booth. Tanith followed with a giggle. Meryl had apparently gotten there an hour-and-a-half ago to stake out a spot. Of course, Charlie thought.
A bottle of champagne rested in an ice bucket along with two empty glasses that hadn't been used yet. “You guys want some champagne?” Meryl giggled, pulling the dripping bottle out of the bucket.
Fedor grinned, licking his lip. “We already polished off a bottle with dinner – we just ordered this one.” He shrugged. “It’s New Year’s, after all.”
“Of course!” Tanith laughed, grabbing a glass. “And give the old man here some, too. He really needs to loosen up a little. He’s a little grumpy after being brought out past his bedtime.”
Meryl and Tanith both laughed heartily at this, while Charlie glanced across the table at Fedor, who just shrugged in response. Of course he didn't care, Charlie thought. He probably had a guaranteed lay at the end of the night. And from what Charlie had heard (never mind whom he heard it from), Meryl was pretty aggressive after a night out drinking. So Fedor probably had a good thing coming to him.
Charlie, on the other hand, would likely end up having to carry Tanith’s dead-weight back to the room at the end of the night. It never failed, if they went out for the night; that she’d inevitably fall asleep after more than two drinks, which, of course, was going to happen, because it was only 10:30 now, and he knew Tanith was in the mood “to party!” as she had told him as much earlier that day.
“We never go out,” she had whined, to which Charlie had laughed and asked,
“Why would we? We can have just as much fun as home, or in our room.” He had winked at her suggestively then, and quipped, “Probably more fun,” but she had just rolled her eyes at him and went back to surveying outfit options.
Whatever, he thought. Tanith was maybe more into having a ‘nightlife’ than he was, but that was because he had spent so many years in training – more than Tanith had, probably, and Charlie just had never gotten into that party lifestyle. Sure, he’d attended his share of parties in his early college years, but it had never been a regular thing with him. He could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d been actually drunk in his life. And even then, he could still remember everything. He’d never, ever gotten passed-out drunk.
Tanith, on the other hand, had experienced years of that – the stories she told him of her years with Evan, and being close friends with Johnny Weir … well, Charlie couldn’t even imagine. Tanith assured him, of course, that those times had been her “young and wild” years and she wasn't like that anymore, but sometimes he wondered, if she missed that, even a little.
Meryl had never been like that; not really. Even during her sorority years, when Meryl went to a party, she never let herself get beyond a certain threshold. She was very much like Charlie in that sense. She never wanted to relinquish complete control, and therefore, she never allowed herself to drink too much. At least, not until recently.
Charlie had received a flourish of drunk texts in the nights when she was in New York City after her DWTS win, when apparently, she and Maks’s crew had painted the town red, so to speak. Charlie had never gotten a drunk text from Meryl ever, and suddenly, she was texting him at 3 a.m. to tell him a number of random things:
Meryl: YOU EWERWE ROBBED
Meryl: I miss you here
Meryl: People in clkubs are reachlly touchy. I’ve had so many people trying to otuhch my butt
Meryl: I bet you gusy are just sitting at hoem with DJ
Meryl: I LOVE DJ
Meryl: Ineest o see her
And so on. The spelling had gotten increasingly bad as the night had gone on, but by the end of the night, Charlie had at least a dozen messages from Meryl. He wasn’t sure if he should respond to them or not, but in the morning, he decided to send her a single message.
Charlie: Fun times last night? Haha. ;)
It was only a few seconds later (at 6:45 am – why was she even awake?) that she responded.
Meryl: I have the WORST HANGOVER EVER. I am never drinking again.
Then she sent him a flurry of emojis that pretty much explained the sequence of events of that morning – probably in too much detail – and Charlie had left it at that.
So now, here in Lake Placid, he had to admit he was a little surprised that she was into the idea of actually going out for her birthday. It had only taken a quick phone call to shift their flights around so they could stay an extra day, though, so Charlie was happy to oblige. Even if these crowds were awful, at least they had a booth.
===
“Two minutes to countdown!” Meryl squealed in delight. She jumped up onto the seat in the booth, standing on it and looking around. “We have to go out there – celebrate with everyone!”
“But – what if we lose our booth?” Charlie asked, looking at their precious seating with a bit of consternation. He was too old for this ‘standing in a bar’ thing. Plus, all their coats and stuff was in there.
“Our coats are here,” Tanith said, frowning, and pulling him out of the booth. “No one’s gonna take our seats.”
Again, Charlie looked at Fedor, who just shrugged at him again. Damn it, Charlie thought. Is that the only thing the guy can do? He seemed to remember Fedor being a lot more opinionated, back when he and Meryl had been dating the first time, but maybe Fedor had settled down a bit in this second attempt. Who knew?
All that Charlie did know was that he was being dragged into the middle of a pool of sweaty people, most of whom were younger than him by at least five years likely, maybe more. He felt old and annoyed and –
“Hey,” Meryl said, snuggling up to the side of him. He instantly felt his cheeks growing hot, but he couldn't explain why. Maybe it was her breath against his neck. She usually didn't get this close to him without prompting. Not off the ice, anyway.
“Yeah?” he asked, happy his voice didn't crack in that moment. What the hell was wrong with him? This was Meryl, of all people. They were best friends. There was nothing to feel weird about. Even if he was convinced she was practically pressed up against his body. Shit, the room was crowded. She couldn’t help it. Right? He cleared his throat to reset himself, as if it was going to do him any good. On his other side, Tanith was grinding against him to the music, but he could barely register anything with Meryl’s breathy whispers in his ear.
“I’m so glad you guys stayed here for my birthday,” she said. “I didn’t think you would.”
He looked at her, shaking his head rapidly, and leaned into her ear. “Of course we would,” he said. “I’d do anything for you, Meryl.”
The look Meryl gave him after that was a little perplexing, as if she was a little hurt by that, but Charlie couldn't imagine why. He would do anything, though. That wasn’t a lie. Meryl was his best friend, and his partner. He loved her like he loved his sister. Or … well, OK, it wasn't exactly like that, but – well. Like he’d told people in the past. It was complicated, between them. They weren't together, but they were… connected. In a way he couldn't explain, in words.
Meryl just understood things about him that Tanith would never really get. And while it was sort of weird, admittedly, he had come to accept it as the way that it was. Kind of like he suspected that Ben knew things about Tanith that Charlie would never know. And probably didn't want to know, honestly. It was … better that way.
Tanith had been his from the point in which they had started dating, and that’s how he knew her. And that’s all he needed to know. Because Charlie knew he loved her that way.
“Well, it just means a lot to me, that’s all,” Meryl finally responded after studying him for a few seconds. She smiled warmly at him, and he smiled back in return.
Charlie held up his glass, studying the bubbles that rose up in it. They had already ordered another bottle since he and Tanith had gotten there. Or was it two? He couldn't remember, now. Had the first bottle just arrived when they’d gotten there, or was it partially full and they had since ordered two more? Crap, he thought. This was exactly how people got drunk.
And as he looked around the room, he realized everything had developed a hazy glow. That was also when he realized he had forgotten to take out his contacts and put his glasses back on, and his eyes were starting to dry out. Fuck.
He hadn't put them on until that afternoon, when they went skiing, and he didn't want to his wear glasses with ski goggles, but still. Ten hours was a long time for him to wear his contacts, and he didn't do well wearing them that long. Add some fatigue and alcohol, and he was in trouble. It was a good thing he didn't have to drive, he thought ruefully. He looked over at Tanith, who was deep in conversation with someone next to her.
Leave it to Tanith, he thought, to strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. Then again, he’d have been likely to do the same thing, if he wasn’t so tired. And hazy.
Was he a little drunk?
He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had too much to drink.
Even on his birthday a couple months ago, he had only finished a single glass of wine, maybe?
Tonight he’d put down more champagne than he had ever consumed in his entire life. For some reason, it had gone down really easy – the conversation was flowing, and Fedor had kept refilling his glass. Even when Charlie waved it off, Fedor kept laughing and saying, “It’s New Year’s, Chuck! Live it up, man!”
Shit.
He glanced back at Meryl again, who happened to be looking up at him at the same time, and she grinned, biting on her lip. She was so cute when she did that, he thought.
Fedor was lucky to have her. (Again.)
Charlie wasn't really sure why they’d broken up in the first place (although Charlie assumed it had a lot to do with Fedor not being in Sochi with Meryl– even though Charlie understood why he wasn't able to go – someone had to stay at the rink while they were gone), but it was probably good she had someone in her life again. Charlie was getting worried about her, the closer it got to his wedding date. Not that he thought she was jealous, just that – well, it had to be hard, watching your best friend get married, when you didn't have anyone.
Charlie recognized that, and tried, when he could, to spend time with her, even outside of the rink. It wasn't like they hung out a lot, outside of practice, but every now and then, he’d ask her out to breakfast before practice, or invited her over for a movie night. She was his friend, after all, and he needed to treat her like one. At least, that’s what his mom had told him, and Charlie knew she’d been right, especially after seeing the gratitude on Meryl’s face when Charlie asked her to hang out with him and Tanith on a random Tuesday last month. Charlie suspected that Meryl was probably spending a lot of time at her mom’s on the weekends.
Not that he didn't do that himself, but, well. That was different, honestly.
He leaned down to talk into her ear again. It was too loud to have normal conversation. “Are you having fun?” he asked, grinning.
“Yeah!” she laughed, learning up towards his ear again to respond.
He felt his cheeks heating up at the sensation of her breath against his skin. A weird sensation shot down into his gut when she wrapped her arm around his side as well.
“This has been the best year, ever,” she added. “Thanks to you.”
He contemplated how to respond. His instinct was to laugh it off but he was pretty sure she was being sincere, even if the champagne was making his brain a little fuzzy at the moment. “Um,” he said. “Thanks?”
Dumb, he thought. But he couldn't think of anything else to say in response. Except maybe “You, too,” but that just seemed inappropriate, somehow.
Especially with Tanith standing right next to him.
He glanced over to his side to see Tanith still in deep conversation with the girl next to her. They were gesturing wildly to each other, so apparently, Tanith had made a new friend. He warily turned back to Meryl to gauge her response, but she just grinned back at him giddily, so Charlie assumed his response was all right?
He looked up to see where Fedor was, but Fedor had apparently disappeared. After a more thorough search, Charlie realized he had headed back to the table for their remaining champagne, which Fedor triumphantly produced a few seconds later. He topped off all their glasses gleefully, as they shifted around to take refills.
What Charlie didn't realize, in that moment, was that Tanith and Meryl, in the refilling process, had switched positions, as he was too busy staring up at the screen watching the countdown, which had already gotten down to twenty seconds.
Before he knew it, they were at the final countdown, and the whole bar was shouting along: “Five – four – three - two – one … Happy New Year!”
He instinctively grabbed the person to the right of him, who, prior to the champagne refill, had been Tanith, and dipped her down for a kiss. It wasn’t until his lips had met hers, and he heard the confused mumble, and felt a tongue that definitely didn’t feel familiar slip into his mouth, when he opened his eyes, and for the first time in his life, practically dropped Meryl.
He had been kissing Meryl. Oh, fuck. OH, FUCK.
As usual, though, his instincts kicked in again, and he swept Meryl up with a loud and uncomfortable laugh. “Wow, I um …" He looked around him quickly, then back at Meryl. "So, you guys, uh, you guys moved? Heh!”
He quickly swung around to see Tanith staring at him, her hands on her hips.
“Shit, Tan – I – I mean, you guys switched places! I didn’t …”
Tanith quickly swept him up, pressing her lips against his possessively, while Fedor took Meryl back to his arms. “Charlie. Are you really that drunk?” Tanith asked him, her eyes dark.
“No," Charlie said automatically, then, thinking again, added, "I mean – well, maybe … I -- really – you were just there, Tanith.”
“Listen, Charlie,” Fedor laughed, suddenly amused by Charlie’s discomfort.
Meryl wouldn’t even look at him, her face as red as a beet, Fedor’s arm wrapped tightly around her middle. A little too tightly, Charlie noticed.
“If you really needed practice before you could kiss Tanith, you could have at least warned me, first!” He laughed again, but Charlie could tell it was a little canned.
“Dude,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes. “I’m telling you, Tanith’s been standing here,” he said, gesturing wildly with his hand to his right, “the entire time we've been standing up! I didn't see you guys switch places!”
“So you’re telling me you've never thought about kissing Meryl?” Tanith asked, her eyes suddenly wide with mirth.
Oh, great, he thought. Now this was going to be the Charlie White Joke of the Month. Just fantastic.
“Oh, no,” Charlie said, pouting, gesturing at Tanith, and splashing champagne on her in the meantime.
“Hey!” she frowned. “Jeez, first you kiss my friend, then you spill all over me.”
“Yeah,” Fedor said, poking lightly at Charlie. “What a jerk!”
All the while, Charlie kept glancing at Meryl, whose face was becoming more and more clouded over. After another couple seconds of continuous teasing, Meryl excused herself suddenly, weaving through the crowd to the back of the bar.
“Huh,” Fedor said. “Women. Bladders the size of a nut.”
Charlie shook his head, trying not to look concerned, but he knew he had to talk to her. He frowned, knowing what was coming, but said it anyway. “Well, call me what you will, but I have to pee now, too.”
Fedor laughed loudly at that, and Tanith knocked him in the side with her hip. “Oh! Sure!” she said, giggling. “We know you’re just going to make out with Meryl again!”
“Stop,” Charlie said, shooting her a look so serious, she actually frowned.
“Huh,” she said, shaking her head quickly. “Sorry. I just...”
Charlie, again, could count on one hand, the number of times he’d scolded Tanith, but this had gone too far. The kiss had been a mistake, and he needed to fix it. He just shook his head at Tanith in response, and pushed his way to the back of the bar, where he thought Meryl had gone. He waited several minutes to see if she was in the bathroom, but she didn't emerge, and after he asked several girls to see if she was in there (to no avail – or to general scorn – jeez, drunk women were so testy), he ventured further into the back hallway to finally find her, hunched over a large plastic milk carton, near the back door.
He hesitated before coming over to where she was sitting.
“Hey,” he said softly. He wasn't sure if she had heard him at first, due to the noise volume in the bar, but after a long moment, she looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Meryl wasn't a crier. She held a lot of her emotions inside, so it took a lot for her to look this broken. He knew.
He crouched down next to her, but she moved over to make room for him on the milk carton. They each took a side, half-hanging off the edge, their legs pressed up against each other’s.
“Listen,” he started, “I-“
At the same time she said, “Charlie, I-“
They both stopped at the same time, looking at each other, and then bursting out into almost manic laughter.
He nodded at her to start again.
“Charlie, I … didn’t mean to get upset, it’s just –“
“This has been a hard year for you, sort of. I know,” Charlie said.
Meryl’s brow furrowed slightly, as if she was considering whether to say what she was about to say. Charlie knew that look. He hadn't seen it often, but it came out every now and again, when she disagreed with him, usually. “You knew?” she asked, finally.
Now it was Charlie’s turn to furrow his brow. He licked his lower lip. “Knew what?” he asked. “I don’t … um. Are we talking about the same thing?”
Something about the way she had asked that made it sound like something completely different than what he’d meant. He just figured she was embarrassed for him, and her, that he had accidentally kissed her. Not that …
She couldn’t, he thought.
“Oh, uh – never mind,” Meryl said quickly, her face immediately turning red.
Charlie studied her carefully. He knew he had to tread slowly if he was going to get to the heart of this. Maybe that was it, he thought, then immediately corrected himself, telling himself there was no way that Meryl had feelings for him, outside of friendship. They had always been friends. There wasn't … something else. There just wasn't.
His hand rested lightly on her knee, a comforting gesture she used to utilize all the time when he and Meryl were in the Kiss and Cry at competitions. He hoped it felt the same to her, as it had to him. “What is it?” he asked, softly. “I won’t …” He stopped, reconsidering his words. “You can tell me.”
“It’s just…” Meryl shook her head, covering her face with her hands. She leaned back, running her hands through her hair, and then started wrapping her hair around into a bun, a nervous habit she’d developed over the years. “I just…” She trailed off again, not meeting his eyes.
Charlie’s hand left her knee, and she immediately looked over at him, right as he rested his hand firmly on her shoulder. “You can trust me, Meryl. We've told each other a lot of things,” he said sincerely.
It was true: they had shared a lot of things over the years. They had told each other about their first kisses. Their first time sleeping with someone. The one time a guy had kissed Charlie (it was all right, he'd admitted, but it didn't do anything for him.) The several times Meryl had kissed girls – and the one time she went further. (I’d do it again, she had admitted, much to Charlie’s surprise, and odd delight.) But they had never admitted to having feelings for the other. Even the one time that they’d actually hooked up – it was quickly glossed over as a mistake, never to be spoken of again.
It was the way they operated when it came to their feelings for each other. The ones that went beyond their 'special friendship,' as they called it.
In fact, Charlie was still reeling over the fact that he could tell Meryl he loved her, out loud – it had been something he’d avoided for years, for fear of it coming off the wrong way – but now, well, now that they’d won the Gold Medal, and he was definitely marrying Tanith, there was nothing wrong with admitting you loved your best friend, right?
Except... when maybe, you loved them as more than a friend.
Was that what Meryl was trying to tell him?
Something clenched up in his stomach at that thought, and he felt his fingers instinctively tighten against her shoulder, making him grimace.
She frowned, seeing his face, and he blinked quickly, blurting out, “It’s okay if you have feelings, Meryl. I’ve … had feelings, too.”
Meryl’s mouth dropped and didn't move for what felt like several long seconds, in which Charlie’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.
Why the fuck had he just said that? Was he really more drunk than he’d thought? He had never wanted to admit that to Meryl, never. Fuck. She was never going to look at him the same way again. And if Tanith found out --?
“Yeah,” Meryl finally breathed out, after apparently finding herself again. She shook her head slightly. “I, um. I just meant, um… okay. Maybe I’d thought about you doing that, but, um, you know, a long time ago!”
She laughed nervously, and so did Charlie.
“Yeah, I meant – I had feelings – a while ago!” He laughed too loudly, then, and he knew Meryl saw right through him, but he couldn't help himself. What else could he say? Shit. He was the worst liar.
“Of course,” Meryl said warmly. “You’re marrying the love of your life. And, you know, it was just … teenage stuff, right?”
Charlie laughed again, this time, slightly more genuinely. “Right.” He looked at Meryl, whose eyes were smiling at him, in the way they used to, years ago. “Right,” he said again. He smiled back at her, with the first real smile since the … mistake, as it would now be known, he thought.
“It’s just … I’m sorry, I was, um, being weird, I guess. And then they kept – you know, Tanith and Fedor – they just thought it was so funny, and I just – I dunno. It reminded me of being a teenager again, and …” She shook her head. “I dunno. I’m just … I’m a maudlin drunk, I guess,” she finished with a slight frown.
“No,” Charlie said softly, his hand coming up until her chin, turning her to look at him in the eye. “You’re a gorgeous, cute, adorable drunk, and …” He bobbed his head back and forth thoughtfully. “Not an awful kisser, either,” he added with a grin.
At that, Meryl shoved him off the milk carton, and he fell to the ground with a theatrical groan. She offered him a hand, however, as she stood up, and he took it, standing up with her. They stood in the hallway for a charged moment, gazing at each other. Charlie saw all the missed opportunities, reflecting back at him, through her eyes. The chances for another life, that he’d given away, by deciding that Tanith was his forever girl, even as he was reluctant to give up skating with Meryl, his main partner, his best friend. He knew if he’d just admitted the truth back then, things could have been different. Maybe he and Meryl wouldn't have made it. But… maybe they would have? After all, Meryl understood him better than anyone else. And there were days when he really regretted that Tanith couldn't get him the way that Meryl did.
That was what it was, though, and he’d made his choice.
But still, when he looked at Meryl, he really wondered. Had he? Had he made the right choice?
“Ugh, get a room, you two!” Tanith cracked suddenly, poking at Charlie's side, popping up out of what seemed like nowhere. “You guys have been back here forever!” she called out as she turned on her heel, and left the hallway for the bathroom line.
Charlie chuckled nervously again, the moment between them broken.
Meryl looked up at him, her eyes warm, but sad at the same time, knowing exactly what had been going through his head, just as he knew hers. “Made for each other,” Meryl sung under her breath, nodding her head in Tanith’s direction.
“Woooo-rst,” Charlie hummed back at her.
He pulled her into a hug suddenly, needing to feel Meryl against him, needing her warmth and comfort, and understanding. Charlie leaned down, breathing in the scent of her hair, as he murmured against her ear, “I really do love you, you know.”
“I know,” she said with a shaky breath. She leaned up then, to kiss his jaw, her lips lingering against the stubble and the sharp outline of his jawbone, as if she was hesitant to let go. Her hand rested firmly against the other side of his face, her thumb rubbing against his cheek tenderly. “And... despite what Tanith’s told me, you’re not a bad kisser, yourself.”
She let go, then, with a wide grin, only to have Charlie shoot her a disbelieving look. “Wait – what? ‘Despite’… what the hell did Tanith say?”
Meryl took off then, refusing to respond, as Charlie chased her back through the now dispersing crowd. The bartenders yelled out for last call.
“Seriously, Meryl… did she say I’m a bad kisser? That’s – that’s messed up! I’m not a bad kisser! Ask anyone! Why would she say that?”
Meryl reached Fedor just before he did, his protests lost as Meryl glanced back at him once more with a sly wink, and turned back to Fedor, her arm tugging him closely to her body. “I’m ready to go to the hotel now,” she said to him.
“You got it, birthday girl,” Fedor grinned, kissing her temple.
Oh, shit, Charlie thought. He had almost forgotten it was Meryl’s birthday.
Fuck. Some birthday present, he frowned to himself. You almost made your partner cry. Great.
“Oh, and White?" Fedor grinned, nodding at Charlie. "Thanks for taking care of my girl." He shot a finger gun at Charlie.
“Ha, ha,” Charlie said. “Very funny. I’m telling you…”
“He knows,” Meryl interrupted, with a placating smile. “Happy New Year, Charlie.”
“You too, Meryl,” Charlie said. “And -- happy birthday,” he said, more softly, his fingers coming up to his lips. He quickly bit on his knuckle to cover up the gesture. “Sleep well.”
It was something they had become accustomed to saying to one another, if they were on the phone at the end of the night. A good night’s sleep will lead to a great next day, their coach Seth had always told them, earnestly. Now it was more like a term of endearment, that only they shared.
“You too,” she said, a warm smile spreading over her face. Love you, she mouthed to him, before turning around, and letting Fedor lead her out of the bar.
===