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Donghyuck’s head is sliding off the couch and he snaps awake, limbs righting themselves out of their own accord. He looks at his watch, bleary-eyed, and it reads 12:35 am.
Music is still blaring over the speakers – it sounds like they’re playing Baekhyun’s latest mini album – but the party has devolved into the type of muted noise generated by smaller circles of conversation. Donghyuck is buzzed enough that it renders him even sleepier.
Where had the night gone, anyway? Taeyong invited them all to a party at the 5th floor on a whim, to celebrate the release of the last of the Resonance content. Ask any employee – the collective sigh of relief was felt all across the SM building.
Donghyuck had been holding off on his alcohol for all of promotions and fuck if he wouldn’t get absolutely smashed as soon as the opportunity comes up, but –
He texted Taeyong. Is Yangyang gonna be there?
Sure is, Taeyong replied, and Donghyuck didn’t need any more convincing than that.
It has been weird between them, lately. He’ll admit that on most days, he only has the emotional capacity to maintain his relationships with the members of the two units he’s already in, so it’s hard for him to keep in touch with those who aren’t. And not a lot of opportunities come up regularly, anyway, at least not until they started preparing for Resonance.
Then there was 90’s Love.
If he were to be honest, Donghyuck had expected to match well with Yangyang, his friend (acquaintance?) of the same age, but he did not expect… whatever this was between them.
Yangyang tended to hover. Donghyuck would be telling Ten and Winwin a joke, and he would hear a tinkling laugh behind him. He’d turn and see Yangyang smiling, often to himself, sometimes looking back at him. Donghyuck never minded.
As practice dragged on, he’d always turn and see that shock of almost-white hair hanging around behind him, as if waiting to be acknowledged.
Sometimes, he would. And Yangyang would smile that gummy, brilliant smile of his, and Donghyuck would think about it out of the practice rooms, out of the shooting locations, in his dorm room, in his waking moments.
Before he knew it, Resonance schedules were already over and done with, and he would turn and see his hyungs or the Dreamies. He’d turn, disappointed when he isn’t greeted by that big, bright smile.
It’s pointless, Donghyuck thinks. Resonance was an outlier and he’s pretty sure their schedules won’t overlap again any time soon. He’s had crushes like this before and they had faded in time, some taking longer than others. He'll deal with it like he always does.
Except – he really can’t stop thinking about that smile. And Yangyang’s always so close, so giggly, so open around him that he can’t help but hope.
Taeyong’s confirmation had only made him feel bolder. Light flirting can’t hurt, right? If Yangyang is less than enthusiastic, he’ll leave well enough alone. It would be the last night they’d get to see each other for a while, anyway.
Seeing as the party was on the 5th floor, Donghyuck had no choice but to be early. He was already nervous enough before Doyoung told him to stay by the door and let the guests in while he and Taeyong prepared the food. Johnny was off mixing drinks, so he had to be the one to do it.
The 10th floor residents got there soon enough, and before he knew it, Yuta was already pouring shots down his throat. He joined Donghyuck by the door, pouring more shots every time someone came in.
By the time Yangyang showed up, Donghyuck was already tipsy and red in the face. Seeing Ten come barrelling in through the door with Yangyang in tow, that big, bright smile directed at him again, made him blush deeper. As they went off to eat and mingle with the other members, Donghyuck couldn’t help but eye him longingly from his corner of the room.
Donghyuck doesn’t know how much time elapsed before Johnny took over the bouncer role, but he was glad to move. He flopped down on the couch, acutely aware of Yangyang’s voice from across the living room, interspersed with other voices.
He still longs to face that smile, as he slips into slumber.
When he wakes, he’s still thinking about him – that soft laugh, that gummy smile.
He’s so tempted to just go back to sleep, but he suddenly feels the weight of the couch shift next to him. He opens one eye, only to see Yangyang now seated beside him, just within arm’s reach.
He feels Yangyang fidget, trying to get comfortable, and his sleep-addled brain figures he may as well do the same. He lays sideways without warning, and Yangyang lets out a yelp before slowly adjusting to the weight of Donghyuck’s head on his thigh. He sets his beer down on the coffee table.
Donghyuck hears that tinkling laugh again. “And here I thought you were asleep.”
“I am,” Donghyuck mumbles, and he’s pleased when Yangyang laughs even more.
“Alright, Haechan-ah. Don’t let me interrupt your slumber.”
Donghyuck feels a slight twinge in his chest, an urge to set one thing straight before he sinks back down into sleep. “Donghyuck.”
“Hmm?”
“You can call me Donghyuck. Only people I like can call me that, you know,” Donghyuck sleepily informs him. He is almost entirely gone that he can’t quite feel his mouth form the words. Jeez, what did Yuta put in those shots?
He doesn’t hear anything back at first, but Donghyuck notices how Yangyang’s thighs are suddenly more stiff than they were just a moment ago.
“Okay, Donghyuck.”
He grins, eyes still closed, a warm satisfaction replacing the earlier discomfort in his chest as he resumes his descent to sleep.
It’s interrupted when Donghyuck feels a gentle hand brush the sweaty bangs off his forehead, grazing a part of his scalp. The hand falls away so quickly, too quickly.
“Don’t stop. Feels nice.” His uncooperative mouth makes it sound garbled, but Donghyuck wills Yangyang to understand.
He hears a deep breath above him. Donghyuck thinks it has the same vibe as his hyungs’ exasperated sighs when he tells them he forgot his wallet, when he puckers up for a kiss, when he insists he played fairly even when he’s been caught blatantly cheating. A sigh that expresses you’re being a brat but I will relent because it’s pointless to fight you, and because I love you. Donghyuck may or may not be assuming that last part.
But Donghyuck wills it to be true, as Yangyang tentatively places his hand back on his hair. After a beat, he starts stroking through it, and Donghyuck barely restrains himself from keening.
Yangyang’s steady petting really feels so good, though; Donghyuck doesn’t know how he’s still awake enough to experience it. If it was Mark, Renjun, or Johnny, he’d be dead asleep by now. But this is Yangyang, and for all their circling around each other, they’ve never really been this physically close before. And if Yangyang’s body language and his little reactions are any indication, he’s plenty aware of it too.
It electrifies Donghyuck, the anticipation, the feeling that something is building up in this bubble in the room reserved only for them. He stays as still and as quiet as he can while Yangyang runs his deft fingers through the folds of his hair, gently but with pressure, as if pressing notes on the fingerboard of his violin.
He doesn’t know how long Yangyang strokes his hair before he hears Mark greet Yangyang what’s up, dude, and the bubble gets popped.
Donghyuck almost gets up to snap at Mark, but then the two of them start conversing in English. He sighs, internally. Now Donghyuck not only has to put effort into staying awake just so he can eavesdrop his best friend’s conversation with Yangyang, but he also has to conjure his remaining brain cells to try to understand what they’re talking about.
“So you’re Donghyuck’s designated teddy bear tonight, huh?”
“Think I was just at the right place at the right time.”
Donghyuck hears Mark laugh. He barely understands the implications of their words, but he keeps listening anyway.
“So… when are you gonna tell him?” Mark asks, and Yangyang’s hand on Donghyuck’s head freezes.
“Dude, shut up!” Donghyuck hears Yangyang slap Mark on some part of his body, and the resounding sound is loud enough that he’s surprised he isn’t dislodged from his lap.
“Ow, dude, that hurt! Calm down, he’s asleep. And he barely pays attention anyway when Johnny and I speak in English.”
“Still, you can’t be too sure.” No stroking is happening now, and Donghyuck tries his very best not to pout.
“So you don’t want to tell him, then?” Mark switches to Korean, and Donghyuck thanks whatever force made the Canadian leave his body at that moment.
Yangyang doesn’t answer for a while, and Donghyuck prays he’ll respond in Korean, so he’ll know what he means to say.
“There’s no reason for him to know,” and Donghyuck almost breathes out in relief before he processes what Yangyang is really saying. “Promotions are over, we probably won’t get to hang out for another two years, I don’t even know if he wants to hang out with me at all.”
Donghyuck suddenly feels very awake, protests on his tongue, but then Yangyang’s hand is back on his scalp and the words die in his throat.
Are they even talking about him? Is it someone else?
Mark is talking again. “I think that’s why you should tell him, bro. You have nothing to lose. If he rejects you, then at least you won’t spend all that time wondering what could have been.”
Yangyang laughs bitterly, and the sound almost makes Donghyuck squirm. It’s so far from the cheery laugh he’s gotten used too. “Thanks, Mark. I’ll think about it.”
Donghyuck hears silence as Mark walks away, and Yangyang continues to stroke his hair.
It’s nice, and Donghyuck wishes it could last forever, but the possibility of starting something with Yangyang far outweighs the pressure of his hand.
Donghyuck didn't fully comprehend Yangyang and Mark’s conversation, but he knows a few things for sure: 1) Mark thinks Yangyang should confess to someone, 2) Yangyang is hesitant to do so, 3) said person is not in WayV, and 4) Yangyang said he would think about it, but he’s still here, stroking Donghyuck’s hair.
He wishes he was sober and wide awake for this, because he knows this is a significant moment. He’s been given an opportunity as well as an out. Turning these three points over in his mind, he knows this is the perfect chance to ask Yangyang what it all means, if he has a chance with him.
He could also just pretend he hadn’t heard anything, let them live their lives, and wait for another opportunity that may come much later.
The choice is easy.
Donghyuck lifts his head from Yangyang’s lap and sits up, doing away with the pretense of waking. He tries not to feel guilty about the shocked look on Yangyang’s face.
For a moment, they just stare at each other. Yangyang opens his mouth as if to ask a question, and Donghyuck waits, but it never comes. He looks at Donghyuck with his wide, beautiful eyes, and he could drown in them if they weren’t so tinged with fear.
Donghyuck takes the leap for the both of them.
“Couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Mark,” he starts, upfront, and Yangyang’s breath stutters.
“Oh,” Yangyang’s expression is almost blank, if not for the slight quiver of his lip. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough, I think,” Donghyuck says softly, hoping that the next bit doesn’t scare him off. “Mark said you should talk to someone?”
He’s seated close enough to Yangyang to see how he visibly tenses. He stares at Donghyuck for a long, long time. Donghyuck doesn’t know what his own face does, but after a while, the fear in Yangyang’s gaze slowly subsides.
“I do, actually,” and Yangyang moves just a little closer to him. It takes everything in Donghyuck to hold his gaze when all the blood in his body is thrumming.
“Yeah?” Donghyuck breathes out. “What do you wanna talk to them about?”
“It’s not a big deal,” Yangyang says, tentatively laying his arm on the back of the couch, just barely grazing Donghyuck’s shoulder. “It's just, there’s this guy in our group who keeps making stupid, hilarious jokes, and that’s already a good thing, but he’s also really, really beautiful-” Yangyang looks down from his eyes to his lips, then, and Donghyuck feels his face heating up.
“And he’s so talented, it’s so hard to look away,” Yangyang meet Donghyuck’s eyes again, and he gulps and flushes harder.
God, Donghyuck hopes he’s reading this right; he won’t be able to forget that look in Yangyang’s eyes. He thought he was going to be the one to make a move tonight, but this is truly a welcome development.
“Donghyuck-ah,” Yangyang says. “You said people you like can call you that, right?”
A laugh punches out of Donghyuck. “Yeah.”
“What if you liked them in a different way? In a- In a romantic way?” Yangyang inhales, and his expression is hesitant but hopeful just the same. “What should they call you then?”
Donghyuck smiles at him, genuine and devoid of any of his usual playfulness, so Yangyang will know he means it.
“Anything you want to call me, Yangyang.”
And there it is, that smile Donghyuck adores so much. It breaks out slowly until it takes over his whole face, and no alcohol in the world could make him feel the same kind of buzz he feels when Yangyang is directing this smile at him.
Their faces are so close and Yangyang’s smile and his eyes and everything about him is so beautiful, Donghyuck can hardly breathe. Yangyang inches his arm closer so that he can place his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder, and he starts to rub it gently as they continue to gaze at each other.
Then a chair falls somewhere across the room, and Donghyuck and Yangyang startle, remembering where they are. They both let out a nervous laugh, and Donghyuck doesn’t care that he’s surrounded by his bandmates, he wants to taste Yangyang’s laughter, catch that brilliant smile in his own lips, feel the joy in his mouth.
He’s staring, again, and Yangyang’s staring back. Donghyuck is impatient and stubborn and he wants.
His room is right around the corner. Johnny is by the kitchen table drinking, with Ten on his lap, so surely their room isn’t occupied.
“Sure wish we had a life that allows a decent amount of privacy,” Yangyang says, echoing his thoughts, and they both laugh. He meets Yangyang’s eyes and they seem just as dilated as his.
“Maybe I could give us just a little,” he says. Yangyang gives him a mischievous smile, and Donghyuck is unable to wait any longer. He grabs Yangyang’s hand and leads him across the hall to his room, wilfully ignoring those staring at them and even whooping at them. It sounds like Chenle. He’ll deal with him later.
He turns the knob, lets the both of them in, and shuts the door with a soft click. Yangyang steps closer to him, placing his hands on his shoulders. Donghyuck holds his breath when Yangyang starts caressing the sides of his neck.
“You’re so beautiful,” Yangyang says, and Donghyuck leans in, pressing their lips together softly, briefly, and it’s enough to set every nerve in his body on fire. Yangyang smiles against his lips, and it’s everything he wanted and more than he ever imagined.
Donghyuck is breathless when he speaks. “I like you so much. God,” his brain-to-mouth filter is still out of commission, but thankfully Yangyang doesn’t seem to mind. “I think about you all the time. Seeing you smile makes my whole day.”
Yangyang laughs bashfully at that, eyes sparkling, and Donghyuck is so gone for him. They kiss again, and again, until they find themselves falling onto Donghyuck’s bed. He lays on top of Yangyang, who’s as eager and open as he always is, and Donghyuck can’t get enough of him. He runs his hands along Yangyang’s toned torso, his arms, his soft cheek. Every inch of him is gorgeous, and Donghyuck tells him as much.
In response, Yangyang kisses him more hungrily, and they’re so greedy with their touches now, dicks hard between them.
Donghyuck is nipping Yangyang’s bottom lip when he lets out a shuddering whine, saying, “Donghyuck, wait a minute.”
He stops, lifting himself up just enough so he could look at him.
“I want this so much,” Yangyang says, pulling Donghyuck’s hips down and simultaneously arching up, and Donghyuck has to repress a loud moan, “but I have an early schedule. I want to take my time with you, and it can’t happen tonight.”
Donghyuck doesn’t know what else to do but give him his fullest pout. He understands, and he agrees, but still. What a bummer.
“Why did you come to the party, then?”
“I wanted to see you. And talk to you. Remember?” Yangyang smiles, pulling Donghyuck’s head down to kiss him once, twice. “I didn’t know if I would see you again.”
“You will see me again,” Donghyuck says, confidently. “Right after your schedule, in fact.”
Yangyang chuckles. “That can be arranged.”
“Just lie with me, for a bit? Until I fall asleep?”
Yangyang’s eyes crinkle, and they lay down beside each other, Donghyuck’s face tucked in the crook of Yangyang's shoulder.
He’s stroking his hair again, and it’s so dangerous how easily Donghyuck could get used to this, how easily he’ll start to miss it.
One night at a time, he thinks, as he falls asleep to Yangyang’s steady breaths.