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WARNING! This story is a metaphor for battling depression and trying to hang onto your optimism!
Angst! My first purely angst drabble
Hoseok is the sun, and represents optimism and hope
Yoongi is the moon and represents pessimism and depression
Short drabble!
The end is left open for you to derive your own conclusion! It's up to you if Hoseok finds a way to get his Yoongi back, despite Yoongi have no faith left.
Losing Hope
Hoseok is a sun god and Yoongi is a moon god. They were always in love, but it was forbidden so the almighty cursed both to forever live opposite of each other. But each day they get a small window where they can see one another from a safe distance and four times a year they touch
Hoseok and Yoongi are both always exhausted. Hoseok forced to forever live in brightness, despite feeling so alone. Yoongi forever banished to the darkness, alone and heart broken.
Despite how bright it is, Hoseok feels numb and dull. And Yoongi can’t remember what his sun even looked like.
It was because of how down he felt, how broken, that the almighty allowed them to see each other for a small amount of time each day. So far apart they couldn't even hear if they screamed their lungs bloody. So far, they couldn't even make out each other's features.
But Hoseok was forever resourceful. Forever determined.
It was one of the things Yoongi loved about him. No matter how down and bad things seemed, Hoseok could always brighten his mood.
They didn't understand why their love was so wrong, just because they were opposites. Hoseok was bright and sunny. The definition of big and positive. And Yoongi... Yoongi was someone who was full of dreams and wonderment. He helped calm Hoseok down when he was too hyper, and Hoseok helped Yoongi get his head out of the clouds and appreciate what was around him.
To them, they were a perfect fit.
Why was it so wrong?
Hoseok was hot. His skin always burning. Yoongi cold as ice. And when they touched... Warmth spread through both. Just the perfect amount of love and heat to keep everything sated and happy.
But their love lasted a mere month before Yoongi was banished from Hoseok. Banished from the light. Banished from happiness. And Hoseok was forced into a blinding heat, forced to live with the overwhelming feeling only Yoongi could quench.
They needed each other. Craved each other. They couldn't live so far, so low and so high.
So Hoseok found a loop hole. But it was only four times a year, for mere moments.
Once every four months there was a small window of time. So small.
Five minutes, seven if they were lucky. Mere moments when they could be close... Close enough they could touch.
Their skin would gently skim palms, hands always outstretched, aching to be caressed.
Their hands would slide up wrists to elbows, the unbearable hot and cold sizzling to a pleasant warmth as they got closer and closer.
"We only have a moment." Hoseok whispered, his voice so forlorn, but full of excitement.
"I know." Yoongi said back in a hushed tone. He wanted to close his eyes and burrow into the warmth, his body so cold and empty. But then he couldn’t see his face anymore. And he hated how long it would be until he saw him again. Just long enough to forget his voice... Forget his eyes. Forget the warmth.
He sighed, arms slowly wrapping around him tight. He let his eyes close despite his concern, his cheek falling onto a strong shoulder.
Hoseok breathed in the other's scent, almost minty. He kissed his neck, his hands holding the shorter as close as he could. As tight as he could. If he pulled him any closer, would they just become one?
Yoongi felt his heart slowly settle into a regular pace, a sense of calm and peace finally filling him. He felt his throat tighten as it often did when they hugged.
He knew the separation was soon. They never had long.
"I can't do this anymore." He whispered, his throat so tight and raw.
Hoseok let out a concerned sound. "Can't do what, baby?"
"I can't be cold anymore. Hoseok... I don't want to live without you. I don't want a life like this."
"Yah, baby." He pulled back, one hand sliding up to cup an icy cheek. "Don't talk like that."
Yoongi feels the tear slip down his cheek, a desperate keen in his throat at the pull in his spine, trying to tug him away. "Hoseok... Hoseok don't let it pull me! I can’t be cold anymore, please!" His voice cracks, a sob falling out as he clutched at the other.
"Yoongi, I’ll find a solution. Just hang on a little longer, please, baby. Just a little longer!"
Yoongi feels the emptiness crawl back over him, the other slowly being yanked from his grasp. Their hands clutch, holding on as long as they can as the smeller’s teeth chatter and he coughs out his sobs.
Hoseok feels too hot again, arms stretched as far as they can, fingertips gripping so hard they cramp and hurt.
And then he's out of reach. Yoongi's head hung low as he covered his face and tried to hide his tears.
It hurt Hoseok so much to see his love so broken. He had to find a way to end this suffering.
But that was the problem with Hoseok, in Yoongi's opinion. He was so blinded by optimism; he couldn't see the truth. He couldn't see the endless cycle they were forced to live. It had been millennia like this... When was he going to finally accept that there was no solution? They were forever stuck living so far, with so little. So empty.
And the only thing that truly scared Hoseok was Yoongi's inability to see the light when Hoseok was too far. He was shrouded in darkness; so much that he forgot to believe in hope. Believe in Hoseok...
They both looked up, their hearts aching...
So far apart they couldn't even hear if they screamed their lungs bloody. So far, they couldn't even make out each other's features.