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This woman was Impossible. Infuriating. Inept.
He was on the letter I. Which meant that 8 days ago he started with the letter A. And every day since he took a letter and assigned her words that began with said letter. She was truly driving him mad, and he had no one to vent to. Tigh was apt to start commenting on her appearance right away if she came up in their conversations. It wasn’t unusual for him to do this when talking about any woman who wasn’t a crew member. But when it came to the Cabinet member now turned President, this behavior displeased Bill. For two reasons: First, it wasn’t respectful. After all she was the president, whether they liked it or not. And second, Tigh sexualizing the President made Bill feel things...mostly it made him sick to his stomach . His insides twisted and his blood ran faster through his veins with every objectification Saul made. He wasn’t sure what the feeling was. Maybe it was something akin to jealousy?
Jealous. He could put that word and those thoughts off until tomorrow because tomorrow was the letter J. Though that was easier said than done. How was it even fair for him to be jealous? What was he even jealous of? How easily she won Lee over when he could barely stand to be in the same room with his own father? How so many of his crew whispered about her legs and her high heels? How she managed to step into this mess and handle everything with grace?
Grace of course, being his big word from two days ago. Every task she faced was handled with Grace. Which was part of what Infuriated him. Maybe it was because she was right and he had been wrong. If they’d hung around and tried to fight they Cylons back in the orbit of the Colonies they would all be dead right now. And Gods if he wasn’t Incensed by that fact. Who the frak was she? Where did she even come from!?
Fair or not, just like yesterday he was Helpless when it came to his reactions and feelings towards her.
They began the second she stepped off her ship and landed on his deck that first time...
When he saw her a faint attraction invaded him. The muscle of her shapely calves flexed under her prim tights as she came down the ladder in that ridiculous suit. The other crewmen around him all trying and failing to avert their eyes and pretend they had not just been caught ogling the Secretary of Education. Then she spoke and the voice that came out was so smooth and sultry he almost did a double take. He hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t expected anything from her really, yet he was constantly being surprised by her. The physical attraction to her jumped to the foreground the second she started giving him shit for his views on networked computers. Which (he may add) he ended up being right about. But that wasn’t the point. The point was this younger, female, mid level bureaucrat from that prick Adar’s administration had the Balls to tease him on his ship. All while wearing high heels and a short skirt and a smirk he would just love to wipe off her face with a good hard frak.
He had not been in the presence of a civilian woman in way too long.
Three days ago he’d been on the letter F and that was not a good day. Frustration and Frak were the only two words he could think of. Until he thought of Feminine. And that just made him feel frustrated that he couldn’t frak her feminine form from here all the way to Earth.
Yesterday was H. And Hate seemed to be the word of the day. Except that he actually physically had meetings with her yesterday and she was pleasant and beautiful and smart and he could not find anything to Hate about her. He had to concede that he really liked her Hair. Oh Gods.
In three days he would be on the letter L. The fact that he was already worried about it, that he was even thinking this much about it was troubling.
This exercise had done nothing that it was supposed to do. He thought it would be a way to focus his concentration on a specific task, a sort of “brain dump“ first thing in the morning so he could think about her, get it out-of-the-way, and go about his business. The problem became that he thought about it (her) all day. He thought about her way too much, maybe more than he did before he started this word game. So much time spent with his thoughts solely only on her. He knew that three days from now he was going to have to face the harsh reality: Bill was in Love with her. And he Hated it.