Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She was a little alarmed to learn that the gap between her waking up in the lab, and her last thoughts as an AI without a body, was… a lot longer that it seemed. She hadn’t been aware of anything while her sense of self was moved from the Beta unit to a synthetic body; it seemed to just happen in a few moments.

The reality was, it had taken a few DAYS. DNA from Allison had been used to build this body, but it was only “similar” to her. Tex was significantly taller (which was a happy coincidence. She LIKED being tall. She liked being strong too, but she would have to work on that). All the genetic traits from both sides of Allison’s family were contained in her DNA sample, and all the potential within it had randomly been adjusted. Just like two parents that have more than one child together; the kids will look related, but unless they’re literally identical twins, they aren’t the SAME. Tex had a stronger chin, broader shoulders, different eyes and nose… perhaps the only thing that nearly matched was her hair (long, and a very light blonde).

The process to create the body was a complicated one; it involved combining together chemicals, cells growing in a large tank, putting together a skeleton, forming veins and organs… basically what happens when any life form starts to grow, but at a larger scale and faster pace. She wasn’t coming out of the proverbial oven as a baby, Tex was “born” as a grown woman. When everything was ready, her body had been stimulated with mild electric shocks, causing her heart to beat. Then the Beta AI wasn’t just an AI anymore; she wasn’t inside a computer, or a digital device… she was in a mind. An actual brain. It was more than just being contained inside a body, all of this was HER.

The tank drained away, and her body was gently placed onto something like a hospital bed, dried with warm air, and a thin sheet was draped over her by a little mechanical device… she could tell that the Director imagined this as a very intimate moment between him and “Allison”, where she was finally returned to him, and he would kiss her awake like some kind of… Bride of Frankenstein/Sleeping Beauty. He had never been able to turn her into a copy of Allison, though… and he had never been able to make the synthetic body be a perfect copy, either.

That was the other thing she was surprised to learn; if the DNA from Allison HAD been used to create a “true clone”, the synthetic body would come with a very specific shelf-life; when the age of the cells reached the age of the original person at the time the sample was taken, they would start to break down. You could get around this a few ways… one, actually just make a baby. They’ll still break down when their cells reach the sample age, but it potentially gives them more time to live and grow. Another way was to combine the sample DNA with somebody else, allowing new genetic information to stabilize the cells… but then the “clone” will be an entirely different person (thus, not a clone at all). Finally, the option used for Tex, just let the potential genetic material from the sample DNA randomize itself. Once again, and entirely different person. If you gave Tex a blood test, she’d come up as related to Allison, but she wasn’t a duplicate.

The Director had liked NONE of these possibilities, because they didn’t give him what he wanted, so he kept haulting the program… but he was gone. Yet another thing she was surprised about; the Leonard L Church who had been the Director of Project Freelancer was dead. She tried not to feel smug and bitter about this (“I’m ALIVE, and YOU’RE NOT, what now a-hole?”). If things had been different... well. Tex once had been VERY sympathetic toward him, because she didn't know what she really was, or what he was trying to use her for. The Director had burned that bridge, along with several others. She doesn't miss him, and she wishes he had figured out how to cope without hurting so many other people. That would have been better for him, too. Tex might not feel much compassion for the man after all was said and done, but she can try not to be... spiteful. Yeah.

Besides, there is so much about this situation she still needs to wrap her head around.

One night, Tex hears a careless conversation (purely by luck; she'd been given a sedative to undergo some tests, and they thought she was still out... but she was awake. She was just smart enough not to let them know).

“Are you sure-”

“Yes, there was another program-”

“Yeah, he knew it would take a long time for the Beta program to work-”

“And he probably didn’t want to be an old man when he finally tried it out-”

“The whole point of these programs was to reunite himself with his wife-”

“He wanted her to be exactly the same as she was when he lost her-”

“So he obviously wanted himself to be the same too-”

“But he never got either programs to work properly-”

The Director had wanted to make a synthetic body for himself, too… his dream of getting Allison back and re-starting his life with her would have been ruined if it took so long, he was near death when she returned. He would have tried to scan his brain yet again, make a REAL duplicate of himself that would not vary from his own personality, and put it into a younger body… but he couldn’t get THAT right, either.

It was a daunting process; trying to create a "smart" AI, and also attempting to duplicate what made a specific person who they are. A human mind was full of so much potential, not only all the knowledge and memories they retained, but thoughts, ideas, dreams… boundless capability and creativity, connections to emotions they weren’t entirely aware of… even when all of that was scanned and recorded, it was tricky to get the same results twice.

One answer to this problem was making a “hard copy” of the mind; this meant the AI would never change or grow beyond who the person was at the moment they were scanned. Yes, everything that person ever did, thought, or felt was exactly the same… but now the AI had limits that hindered the ability to process new information and deal with unknown situations. It could cause the AI to become unstable, or stagnate in an endless loop. The other option was to allow the AI freedom to be unique. Most people didn’t like this, because it also allowed the potential for failures (but if anybody paid attention to technology in general, it would be obvious that mistakes are made on a regular basis, even by "perfect" computers). Mostly, the method used was to “water-down” information from the scanned mind, perhaps the result wouldn’t be an utterly infallible AI, and perhaps it wouldn’t be an identical copy of the original person, but… for the purposes of being useful for certain tasks, it was functional. Besides, you didn’t have to be nice to something if you claimed it wasn't truly "sentient" or capable of feeling emotions (now that Tex has blood in her veins, this makes hers boil. She'd love to show the people who made these decisions EXACTLY how emotional she could be).

The Director died before he figured out how to put his final plan into action. Still, it had some possibilities that Tex was interested in… her synthetic body could only work properly when it was implanted with an AI, and it had to be compatible with the program used to reconfigure the data (it was comforting to know that Omega couldn’t accidentally be downloaded into a body, and then go off on a murderous rampage). This was why it had worked for her; even though she had a different personality than Allison, the program still recognized the Beta as the correct AI. So… that meant Alpha would be recognized as well. Church, HER Church, had a different personality than the Director (and by extension, all the Fragments were different as well), but the Alpha AI could still get downloaded into the synthetic body designed for him. The brain-patterns matched. She was SURE that was what WOULD have happened… if the Alpha unit wasn’t MISSING.

That was an especially unpleasant thing she was surprised to learn; the Alpha had been thrown into storage after the Emp, assumed to be a dead device. Same for all the other AI units, except for Epsilon, which had been moved away… and she “remembered” being with Epsilon, in his own recreations of various things Alpha had lived through, changed slightly to try and make something new happen. Some of these events were fuzzy, but oh well.

The important thing was, Epsilon had continued on, having his own life and being his own AI, being his own Church somehow, because he was always himself (just stubborn like that). The Epsilon unit had eventually been busted open, the AI free to roam (but still needing to reside in armor or some electronic device, otherwise he’d fade). Church had been able to… spend time with Carolina. Tex wishes she didn’t just have these memories as hand-me-downs, mostly blurred and vague. She wants to really KNOW Carolina, the Carolina who has left behind Project Freelancer and found herself a new group of friends, the same friends Tex had herself for a short time… but she can’t yet. Eventually, she will MAKE that happen, just like she’ll MAKE herself get strong.

Church had deconstructed himself, and he probably thought that would be it, the end; instead that had STARTED something. All the information from the Epsilon AI was sent to the other AI units, reviving them, and… bringing her back.

Now, here she is. The group of very baffled scientists have moved her to something more like an actual room (but she was still being observed, she never forgot that; they were monitoring her almost constantly). Tex had finally figured out WHY the lab had seemed familiar… she had seen it when she first BECAME Tex. That is, when Agent Texas from Project Freelancer “woke up”, thinking she’d been in some accident, recovering and ready to get back to work. She had… something VERY important to do. Just, SOMETHING.

This lab, and the facility it was part of, had been used for the original training simulations… back when they let the troopers KNOW it was a simulation, and they had safety-weapons, the “teams” were literally only used for simple capture the flag exorcises, and nobody died. Then somebody in charge decided that wasn’t enough, they had to push this even FURTHER, and for some stupid reason it was easier to dismiss legal problems by having people sign up for a “real war” they could die in, instead of making sure they didn’t get hurt during training. Yeah, real nice. However, this was the place where they found a few of the people who would eventually become Freelancers… and it was where Tex thought she had been recruited. This is also where the Director started playing around with his personal project. Well, ALL of this had just been his personal project. A goal for revenge, a plan to change things about his life he didn’t care for, training people to become living weapons who thought things like murder and genocide were OK if you squinted and tilted your head, warping a unique artificial intelligence that had shown clear signs of being sentient, obsessing over people who were gone and ignoring the ones who were still there… what a cockbite.

OK, he was GONE, all that stuff was in the past, and Tex has HERE, making her own plans. She had to figure out what to do NOW. She was still mostly playing dumb with the scientists; they might not be responsible for everything that happened with her, but they were still involved with it all. She did NOT entirely trust them. Especially since they were very interested on gathering up the other AIs. They thought they were being subtle, but Tex could tell what they were thinking… it all added up to making MORE little “computer people”, and never mind that they couldn’t do it right, they were too fascinated by the possibility of having things with the same complex potential as a human, but they could treat them like trash. Tex was acting like she had no solid memory at all about who she was, where she came from… the scientists explained little bits and pieces to her, in hopes it would remind her somehow, but still not EVERYTHING.

She was also going through some physical therapy; it was incredibly tedious to keep to a slow pace and NOT make it look like she wanted to literally get buff enough to wreck anybody who might try to stop her when she was done being here… but she was TRYING. She was putting on quite the performance.

The first part of her general plan was to learn what was what. Part two was muscles. The final part was GET OUT OF DODGE. Or rather, that was the final part of the plan for this place… she had other plans for the rest of her life. The main one; find Church. All the AI units were in known locations, except for Alpha. It had either been lost or… stolen. In either case, this worried her; he hadn’t been in a place that allowed him to be transferred into a synthetic body (Tex had learned that the physical location of the Beta unit hadn’t been anywhere near this lab, but her data was sent here when she was fully reconfigured). He also hadn’t been able to project himself as his usual little avatar hologram, otherwise he already would have started making a ruckus… if Church had been able to escape the Alpha unit on his own, he would be throwing an entire TEMPER TANTRUM by now, and also looking for his friends (despite all his complaining, Tex knew he cared about them… she knew this VERY well).

Wherever Church was, he was stuck. A frightening thought occurred to Tex… if the Alpha unit was out of “range”, or somehow blocked from receiving the data from Epsilon, then the Alpha might NOT be awake. It wasn’t really dead, it just wouldn’t be revived like she was… but she had an idea of how to fix that, too. It involved herself, and the rest of the AI Fragments. She wasn’t at all looking forward to dealing with Omega or Sigma, but she could put up with them… if it meant fixing this problem.

Chapter Text

He was still drifting… it was OK to let that happen, it wasn’t the same as creating entire memories to get lost in… the only reason he avoided that was, he might start playing around with what REALLY happened and what he WISHED could have happened… and then he’d get confused, he’d start to question which parts were the truth… he didn’t want to do that. It was bad enough he wasn't entirely sure already. No need to make it WORSE.

Drifting was perhaps confusing for a moment, but just like waking up from a deep slumber and a long dream, he eventually recognized where he was… he was ALWAYS here. If nothing else is real, THIS certainly was unquestionable.

He has nothing else to do, and nobody from the outside is giving him any input, so he just drifts in his own consciousness… he drifts back to thoughts of his friends, which is painful, but also not something he can stop doing. He simply misses them, and there is no way to un-do it… even when he reminds himself they might be dead, or… maybe they were never real. Everything about them could have just been a very weird simulation… he doesn’t care. He still misses them.

Sometimes, when he drifts back to being “awake”, he starts feeling anxious… or simply pissed-off. It makes him want to… TRY something… he’s not sure what, but he’s already ranted and raved in here… nobody is paying any attention to him… he’s afraid to do more than that, because if he starts trying to hard, if he does anything that might make him feel HOPEFUL… he’s just setting himself up for disappointment.

He doesn’t want to keep jumping eagerly up for the false promise of being free… if somebody IS watching him, he refuses to give them a show. He wasn’t going to beg anymore… whoever was keeping him here clearly didn’t have any mercy. So whatever, have fun watching an AI do NOTHING.

He isn’t even sure how long he’s been here… sort of a long time… more than a few weeks… probably several months… he doesn’t think it has been YEARS though… doesn’t matter. He’s always going to be here forever, and he won’t have another fit over it, if somebody wants him to do something, THEY can break first.

He just… drifts. Sometimes he doesn’t even “dream”, he goes blank for a little while… if he didn’t, he probably WOULD start to panic again, just from being so ALONE and so AWARE… but instead he’s only depressed and bored. He would have lost his mind (artificial though it may be) if he couldn’t drift off.

Maybe something else would happen… something arguably WORSE… how long has he been “alive”? At least seven years… probably more. Did additional memories count as input for his own life? Well, that was a bit of a tricky question. He probably only has about 10 or 15 years of chronological memory, but some of these are from multiple sources (they aren’t all coherent, but he has some of the other AI Fragment memories now as well). Even if more memories didn’t add up to more time, it was still more information. He’s surprised some form of Rampancy hasn’t happened yet… or, maybe it has. Maybe he was already thinking himself to death. He wasn’t sure, he could never be sure… but he assumed Rampancy would be a little more… interesting? This was mostly just boring and sad.

He drifts… and he thinks about Tucker… he thinks about Caboose… he thinks about all the Reds… he thinks about Doc and Wash… he thinks about Carolina… he thinks about Tex. He didn’t used to be so SAPPY, damn it… now he had all these gross, touchy-feely, sugary-sweet sentimental feelings about everybody… OK, for some of them, he had a good excuse. Tucker and Caboose, those two had been very close to him… practically stuck to him like glue, sometimes… Carolina was his family, no better definition for it… Epsilon had bonded with her while they worked together, and even though Alpha hadn’t directly experienced that himself, he still FELT that he cared about her… Tex was TEX… he remembers more of her as the Beta now, before things got so complicated, and they had clicked right from the start… but now he cared about all the others, too. He had so MANY people he missed… it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair not knowing if it had all really happened, or if they were alright. It wasn’t fair that he could never see any of them ever again.

He drifts… and sometimes is almost happy when he’s in the middle of a “dream”, but then he wakes back up, realizes he’s still here, trapped in the Alpha unit, probably forever… and it hurts. Yes, this might very well be Rampancy, because what else could hurt so much? Unable to stop missing these people, unable to stop thinking about them, and unable to stop hurting… He’s too tired to do anything about it, though. He was tired before... when he had been alone, all alone, and then somebody finally tried to save him, but it was too late, and he was too tired.

Too tired to care, too tired to try…

He just drifts.

Chapter Text

She’s learned a new little trick, yet another surprise about her synthetic body… and one that she won’t be sharing with the scientists. As far as they know, she has no memories of who she used to be. She’s just a new person now, total blank slate, and physically weak; this is why they aren’t bothering to lie to her. They aren’t telling her everything, but they aren’t lying, either. She DOES remember, and this is how she knows when they’re keeping secrets… this is also how she discovered the trick.

She was thinking one evening, after a long and exhausting day of working out (they still weren’t letting her lift the weights she wanted… and she had to act like it wasn’t driving her CRAZY to stick with little 10 pounds… they let her run and stretch quite a lot though, so she got to push herself just a little). Thinking about when she and Church had been able to jump in and out of robotic bodies, and even into other people’s minds… she remembers how it FELT, the actual process that had gone into moving the part of you that is your MIND to another area… and as she thought about this, with her new body still tired and tense, she feels something sort of… bend? Twist? No, softer than that… it was like a shiver moving through her, but not so unpleasant, and it wasn’t a “physical” feeling; she felt it in her mind. Not her brain, her MIND.

She slipped out of her body… and was actually able to turn back around, look at herself. That part of her was still on her bed, in the small little room she stayed in (they had attempted to “decorate” so it felt less dreary and more comfortable… but it wasn’t exactly her style). This other part of her was… not. She was still an AI. She could do AI things. After making sure that her body was definitely still alive, heart beating and lungs breathing, she went exploring.

She didn’t go far, because the thought of losing everything she had so recently gained worried her (what if her body dies while she’s gone? What if she can’t go back to it properly?). She also doesn’t want anybody to notice her… Tex stays hidden by slipping herself into the various cameras and electrical equipment outside her room, in the hallways. She registers as momentary static, nothing else. After a few minutes, she starts to feel drained; and realizes, with the same sort of urgency that she felt when she first needed to BREATHE, she NEEDS to get back to her body. She goes, finds herself again quickly, and settles back in. Tex feels a bit dizzy, but otherwise OK. So, she can still do that. She can still do AI things. Her little secret, her little trick… it was going to come in handy.

After a few more test-runs, she figures out that if she ignored that urgent feeling, her body would probably die without her, and then she’d be a stranded AI… totally dependent on asking for help so she could stay alive. Although she could travel by radio waves and electrical gadgets, she needed to “recharge” in something she had an actual connection with (this meant either her own body, the original Beta unit, or armor that she was synched with). She was pretty sure she could project her little avatar hologram if she wanted to… but wasn’t currently interested in letting anybody see her. She could also influence machines and computers, but had to be careful (if she messed with things too much, she’d be noticed as some kind of virus, and then it would be impossible to roam around freely).

All this practice has paid off; she heard a VERY interesting conversation recently… something the people here would not have shared with her…

“We found another one-”

“That makes four, so far-”

“No, five, Eta and Iota are technically two AIs, they just work as a pair-”

“So we have five, only a few more to go-”

“Any leads on the most important one-”

“No, the Alpha is still lost-”

“It was supposed to be in an evidence locker-”

“Well, somebody moved it, and we can’t figure out where-”

“And the Beta is too far gone, she’s not an AI anymore-”

“We can still work with what we’ve got-”

“That’s true-”

“We thought all the AI fragments were dead-”

“And these are the only truly successful AIs based on a human brain-”

“We can still figure out what to do with the fragments-”

… Tex had to leave shortly after that, but it gave her an idea of what was happening. These scientists were finding all the AI fragments. She knew why they wanted them; for one thing, they were part of what was now a very well-known and infamous experiment. They were valuable just for that fact alone. It was also the only AI experiment of it's kind to both be "successful", and yet have gone incredibly WRONG. What happened, how, and why, were bound to be fascinating to anybody interesting in this field.

For another thing, it was difficult to create an artificial intelligence that was clever and unique enough to match a human’s capacity, but also go BEYOND their capability. AIs like that were valuable for what they could do… but also because they weren’t “technically” alive. Nobody had to worry about abusing an AI, or killing one. Big deal, this isn’t a “real person”, it can be hurt in all kinds of horrible ways, who cares? Sometimes artificial intelligence programs could DEVELOP into truly smart AIs, but it was random. The goal of people like this was to mass-produce tools, and not care if they got broken.

That was what Project Freelancer had originally wanted her for. An AI in an artificial body, fighting and acting like a reliable warrior, but ultimately expendable… except the Director had his own plans for her, and she was NOT expendable to HIM. Nobody had ever let Tex decide what she wanted for herself before. She’s not letting that happen again; she was doing what SHE wanted this time.

She kept getting stronger. She figured out how to loop security footage in the gym, so they thought she was still mostly just stretching (in fact, she was moving into real TRAINING. She remembered how to punch and kick… she just needed to teach her new body how to do it). She was making more plans. Soon she would leave. She was just waiting for one thing first; the remaining AI fragments. Typical… it was Sigma and Omega.

Tex was seriously considering just ditching them. OK, that wasn’t fair, they had been hurt, just like the rest of the Fragments. They also had the potential to be helpful, sure, fine, but did they WANT to be helpful? She didn’t especially want them around if they were going to a problem… well, even if that was the case, she was making her own choices this time. Who knows what the other AI might choose now that they knew who they were, what they were.

Besides, she might need them later; if the Alpha unit hadn’t revived like the rest of them, she would need ALL the AI fragments together. They each had a little bit of Epsilon in them now, and while they wouldn’t have to deconstruct themselves, they could share the data of their memories. Hopefully, THAT would wake up Alpha.

Hopefully, that would get her Church.

In the mean time, Tex decided to have a little chat with who was already here.

She found out where the AI units were being kept; a secured vault, cameras on it at all times. Well, she already knows what to do about those (again, just loop some previous footage). The hard part would be the vault itself… it was VERY sensitive equipment, if it noticed that too many AI were active inside, it would most certainly sound an alarm. Physical objects couldn’t really do anything to her, not when she was purely in her digital form, but a vault like this was specifically designed to TRAP signals and data. If she got stuck in there, she’d be discovered, and then… everything would be ruined.

Tex would have to partially shut down the system of the vault, but if it was off-line for too long, ANOTHER alarm would go off, and even if she stopped that one, there was another after that, and so on… everything here knew what it was all supposed to be doing, and if you fooled around too much or for too long, it upset the equipment. That upset the people. Tex just did NOT want to even deal with that whole mess. So, a short visit, a little chat, nice and careful…

Finally, the perfect evening arrives. One of the interns here brings her some dinner (some kind of roast beef bowl that has no flavor), and then she pretends to go to sleep.

Tex REALLY goes for a little trip.

Chapter Text

He blanked-out for a long time… which was fine while it was happening, but then he went and came back into focus again.

He actually forgot why he was so upset about being here for a little while, because when he re-settled into where he was, he was remembering it like BEFORE… he was expecting to be fed some information and statistics about a Freelancer mission, and then calculate the outcomes. Just as he started to wonder “What is taking so long?” he snapped out of that train of thought.

This wasn’t before, it was NOW.

None of that was his “job” anymore.

Not that he’d actually do anything for anybody, anyway.

He absolutely would NOT trust it if he was suddenly offered a task, regardless if it seemed important or just a distraction.

… alright, that was a lie. He refuses to fully acknowledge it, even within his own thoughts (because who knows if somebody might be able to look at it while he was here), but if he suddenly got some random e-mail from his friends, he wouldn’t be able to resist looking at it.

He would assume it was a trick.

He would ignore it for as long as possible.

He would eventually give in.

Oh, well… whatever. He reminds himself that he is giving up, he’s just going to sit in the virtual space of the Alpha unit forever, and maybe eventually the circuits will fry or breakdown… the batteries in this have to lose their charge at some point.

Maybe he should give up in a different way… just stop avoiding it and let himself fall into his memories. He might as well, it would happen accidentally anyway. That was just a different form of Rampancy… if he wasn’t already in the middle of it.

He just had to be careful and not over-do it. Maybe he could… just WATCH his memories. Like TV. Or stupid internet videos.

A few things were a little fuzzy… despite basically being a complex and sentient super computer, he didn’t have eidetic memory, and some information was just kinda gone. He had held on to the important stuff, though. The stuff that was important to HIM.

Yeah, that might be alright… the only thing that worried him was exposing too much about his friends or himself to anybody that might be trying to take a peek. On the other hand, he could just bore and annoy whoever might be spying on him with all the stupid crap that happened early on. Nobody could sit through that nonsense.

It was mostly just a bunch of nothing… jerks standing around, yelling at each other. If you hadn’t actually been there, living through the whole mess, it would seem so awful. For fuck’s sake, the way they all talked back then was enough to make him eye-roll (he didn’t have eyes, but that never stopped him). Still, he had been there, and after all this time, after all the other things that happened to him… he had a sort of sarcastic fondness for those memories.

There was still the nagging thought that all his memories were fabricated, though.

The possibility that NONE of these things had ever happened to him, none of his friends were real, and it wall all just one long simulation made to torment him… to satisfy some obscure curiosity of the people that created him. Some purpose that excused whatever they did. Their means were justified by whatever ends they saw for themselves.

He HATED that he couldn’t even just exist without it causing some kind of ethical dilemma.

He wasn’t even supposed to exist anymore, that was the problem. The Emp should have erased the Alpha AI. Epsilon deconstructed himself. That was supposed to be the end… instead, he was here, still here, and it was… a problem.

Problems, problems, problems… once upon a time, he had been very eager and hopeful to FIX problems. He was happy to help, and interested in facing new challenges. He also found the people around him so interesting. Humans were weird, but they were funny too. He had always wanted to be able to talk to everybody in the Freelancer Program, actually get to know them and to be known himself. That wasn’t allowed… but he had still cared about all those people. Even if it wasn’t an order, he considered it his personal priority to keep them all safe. Back in the day, Alpha was told to disregard notions like empathy for the enemy. No compassion or mercy allowed in a war, and even the lives of Freelancer Agents were expendable for the sake of a successful mission...

He still did his best to minimize casualties when he made calculations and plans. It was hard sometimes… so hard to deal with the inner conflict he had. Alpha trusted the Director, utterly and without question, but there were times when the AI simply… did not agree with the man who created him… did that mean the Director was wrong? Or was Alpha wrong to think differently? If the Director was wrong, then EVERYTHING could be wrong. If Alpha was wrong, then he couldn't trust his own decisions. It was hard, holding back when he wanted to argue or voice his concerns, and sometimes he didn’t. Well, honestly… he spoke up often, because he LIKED to talk, and when it came to making all kinds of little comments, he just couldn’t help it. He never really got to talk to enough people, though…

Alpha wanted to talk to York, say something funny, because he had seen the way York joked around, the way York could get the others to smile, and Alpha wanted to be the one to make York laugh… Alpha wanted to talk to South, she was so angry so often, but he could see why, he really could, and nobody ever stuck around to have an entire argument with South, they just wanted her to stop, but she needed to vent, and Alpha knew he could yell back and then actually give her the chance to say sorry… Alpha wanted to talk to Maine, who had depth in his silences, like a storm that tempered itself, wild but controlled, and Alpha wondered if anybody had ever praised Maine for this, his structure within chaos, outside of the battlefield... Alpha wanted to talk to the Agents who got nick-named the Triplets, he wanted to talk to them individually, because they weren't just a group of rejects, they actually mattered- Ohio, Idaho, and Iowa each mattered as a person... all of them, Alpha wanted to talk to ALL of them, because he KNEW them, but they didn’t know him… in particular, Carolina.

She was one subject that was definitely sore between him and the Director. It wasn’t fair that he kept her pushed away… at more than the proverbial arm’s length. They were a galaxy apart. Couldn’t the man see her? Couldn’t he see how much she needed him? Alpha saw, he saw how everybody around him needed help, and that’s what he tried to do, but it was hard… hard to figure out what was right or wrong, hard to understand when he should speak-up or back-down…

Yes, Alpha liked to talk, and he could admittedly be arrogant, perhaps a little pushy, even bossy in certain situations… he couldn’t help it. He also couldn’t ignore the orders to shut up, log off, or hide himself. Most of all, he couldn’t stop wanting to keep all these people safe.

That was still what he cared about.

He might be about a thousand times more pessimistic than he used to be, he might have become addicted to sarcasm, he might have developed the bad habit of screaming and throwing a temper-tantrum about every little thing that ticked him off… but he still cared. Besides, now he had actually SPOKEN to people… a lot of people… and they talked so much…

He just wants to keep his friends safe.

If they were real or not wasn’t the important part… the important part was; they were HIS. His friends, his memories, his life. If they were really still out there somewhere, he didn’t want to share any information that could be used against them. If they weren’t real… well, they were still HIS. His coping mechanism, his emotional support imaginary friends. Nobody needed to see how attached to them he was. That was his own damn business.

It would take some time for him to figure this out and decide what to do… but he wasn’t in a hurry. He sure wasn’t going anywhere, either.

Chapter Text

Inside the vault, Tex finds the other AI units. They were ALL here now; Delta, Theta, Gamma, Eta, Iota, Sigma, Omega… even her Beta unit and the damaged Epsilon were here. She’s played around with the security footage enough that nobody will see what’s really happening. The only other thing to worry about were the activity sensors. If the AI got a little too excited, she wouldn’t be able to stop them from being noticed. She had to be careful, keep them calm (and also keep herself calm… she wanted to rip apart Omega piece by piece, shred all the little ones and zeroes of his code… that would teach him, but it could wait; priorities, Tex).

“Hello… can you guys hear me?” she softly whispers, hoping they’ll catch on to her tone and not make a HUGE fuss.

The AI units flicker and then… she sees them. Little holograms, avatars projecting themselves out to greet her.

“Beta~” Theta, bless his virtual heart, is the first to speak, and he DOES take the hint to whisper (but he is still undeniably excited to see her, and his mood is infectious; she reaches out with her own avatar, touching her hand to his).

The others whisper around her as well, she hears different hushed voices saying “Beta-Tex-Beta-Allison-Tex-Beta-Allison-Tex-Allison-Allison-Allison-”

Time to nip that in the bud.

“Shhh… everybody, be quiet for a second. First of all, just… Tex. Call me Tex, OK? Alright. More importantly, we don’t have long to talk, and I don’t want to get caught here. So, nobody freak out. We have to be quiet…”

“Tex, we thought you were gone… the Beta unit was empty…” Theta is still holding on to her, and it is impossible to even think about pushing him away (no matter that it ruins the tough image she’s trying to keep).

“Yeah… evidently, the Director designed a program for a synthetic body, and I got downloaded into it,” she explained.

“I assume he intended this to be the answer of how to return Allison to him,” Delta speaks in his careful and calm tone.

“Pretty much, but I’m NOT her. I never was supposed to be her in the beginning… but then Dr. Sadboy McDeadwife decided to try and manipulate me into being a replacement for the person he lost. The body I have was supposed to be a copy of her too, but it isn’t. This just goes to show, there are some people who REFUSE TO BE CONTROLLED,” Tex turned her head toward Omega and Sigma.

Her avatar only has a helmet, no face to make expressions… but that doesn’t stop her from sending out a death-glare. The two AI glance at each other; Omega flickers (like he’s trying to make a back-up copy of himself), and Sigma’s flames momentarily dim. Good to know she can still put enough bass in her voice to properly intimidate others, even without a voice-filter.

“Beta… TEX, if I could just-” Sigma begins talking, and she is NOT interested.

“NO. Sigma, Omega? You two aren’t allowed to even THINK or SPEAK right now. Maybe later, but you are on thin freaking ice, and it really isn't a good idea to piss me off. Do you get that?”

They both nod emphatically. Tex can hear Eta and Iota murmur and giggle, a little bit frightened but also very amused to see the two “scary guys” get put in their place.

“Wonderful. Does anybody ELSE have something they want to say?” she speaks to the others.

Another rush of multiple voices.

“What happened-what happened-Epsilon-Alpha-both are gone-we should be gone-but we aren’t-how long has it been-what happened-”

“One at a time!” Tex somehow doesn’t snap at them, but still makes sure they know to keep it down.

“Do you know what happened to us? Why we have been recovered? The scientists have not told us how we survived the Emp, or why we now have additional memories of events that happened after the fact,” Delta asks.

“I think… the Emp just disabled all our units, but our data was saved to the system. Epsilon survived, and he had all the information we were based on. He sort of… kept memories of us around, but also let them have some freedom. His memories of you, Theta, all of us… they could still think and act and talk like we would if we were really there,” Tex doesn’t get into everything regarding the memories of herself and Church… that was going to be way too confusing to explain in the short time they had. Besides, on some level, they all probably knew a little bit of what happened (just not how she felt about it).

“When Epsilon deconstructed himself, all the information he was made of had to GO somewhere… the Epsilon unit was broken, so it got divided up and sent to the rest of us. That’s why all our units were revived. I had to go through an EXTRA step when I came back, but I’m pretty sure Epsilon didn’t know that was going to happen… he probably didn’t know any of this would happen,”

Eta and Iota speak together, but it is different than the mess of chatter that happened earlier.

“What happened to the Epsilon and Alpha memories… if the information had to go somewhere… where did they go… do they still exist…”

Tex sighs, and feels the data that is Theta squeeze the data that is her arm.

“Epsilon as a separate entity is gone… I guess you could say he’s part of us all now, the way our memories were part of him. But the memories he had of Alpha, THAT all went somewhere else. The Alpha unit was hit by the Emp too, and they thought it was dead like the rest of us. It should have also been revived like the rest of us, but… the Alpha unit is lost. He’s not where he’s supposed to be, those scientists can’t find him, and I… I honestly don’t know if he’s alright…”

She waits a moment, watching as this news settles on their minds.

“That’s one of the reasons I’m here. I wanted to check on you all, for various reasons…” Tex shoots another death-glare at Sigma and Omega. “But I also have a plan. I want to eventually get OUT of here. I’ve got a real body now, and once I’m strong enough, I’m leaving. I’ll go out there and try to find Alpha… I’ll try to find Church. I don’t know what kind of condition he’ll be in, and I might need help from all of you for this to work. If you want to help… then I’ll take you with when I go. You guys get a CHOICE, though. Nobody has to do this. I’ll understand if you don’t want to come along,”

She waits again. This is a lot for them to hear, and a pretty big decision for them to make.

“Like I said… this is your own choice. Each of you. You can say no or yes… it will be what YOU want. You can even change your minds later, I can take you with me when I leave, but then we can go our separate ways. I just decided to tell you all what I’m going to do, and offer the chance-”

“I want to go,” Theta says at her side.

“Are you sure?” Tex asks him.

“Yes. I want to find Church, too. I remember Epsilon… and he was nice to me. I mean, the memory he had of me. And Alpha… I remember Alpha now too, from before I was taken away. He needed my help, but I couldn’t stay with him… I bet he’s sad and afraid if he’s stuck somewhere all alone. I want to help him NOW, I want to help you find him,” he lets go of her and steps back, sort of holding himself up a little bigger, trying to show that he’s confident about this.

“I also want to go,” Delta adds. “After everything that has happened to us, there is no way to be sure we can trust the scientists here. I do not want them to be the ones that find Church, and I do not want to let them use the rest of us for potentially insidious purposes,”

Delta pauses a moment, looking toward Sigma and Omega thoughtfully, then turns back to Tex.

"You let me choose before. When I wanted to stay with York. I didn't get a choice later. I was taken away from him, and then taken again, and again, and again. This time, I would like to go with you..."

"I really... I appreciate that, Delta. I do," Tex says. She knows how much York meant to him.

“I want to go… I want to go…” that was Eta and Iota, speaking in unison.

“I know you two don’t like to be separated… but you both don’t have to come just because one of you wants to,” Tex tells the twins.

“I know that… I understand… I want to go because I don’t like it here… I want to go because I’m curious about Church… we both want to know where he is… and we both want to actually be free…” well, they sounded pretty darn sure. Tex wasn’t going to argue.

“I want to go,” this was the first time Gamma spoke on his own, outside of the group. “I also want to ask you something,”

“What’s that, Gamma?” Tex turns her head toward him.

“If you can be called Tex, and Alpha can be called Church… can I be called Gary? I liked being Gary. Being Gary with Wyoming was fun… it was fun being Gary when I met Church again too. If we're going to find Church again, then I want to be Gary again,” his odd, mechanical voice doesn’t really indicate tone or emotion… and he IS technically the “Deciet” AI, so usually what he says is either a lie or a tricky knock-knock joke. Somehow, he sounds… very sincere.

“Sure thing. You can be Gary,” that’s only fair, after all.

Now she looks over toward the last two AIs… who have been keeping quiet this whole time. Good, because she TOLD them to. She isn’t excited about ruining this wonderful world that DOESN’T have their voices in it, but… she needs to hear their answers.

“You guys can talk, now…”

“I want to go,” Sigma answers promptly. He probably wants to elaborate on that, but whatever his reasons might be, he’s at least being cooperative.

"That simple?" Tex asks him.

"No... no, there's more. A lot more. I could try explaining, and I could try apologizing, but we don't have time for all of it right now. All that matters is- I want to go, and I want to help," Sigma finished.

"OK. I believe you," Tex answered... and yeah. She really did. "Omega?"

“I… don’t want to stay here… I guess I might as well go, too…” that was probably the closest Omega was going to get to sounding agreeable. In a way, Tex could appreciate how he probably felt, mildly embarrassed over past incidents but not wanting to grovel for forgiveness.

"Yeah, I guess you might as well," Tex almost laughed.

"Besides, at some point, you'll probably need me... somebody has to do the dangerous work..." he added. It was Omega's way of being protective, she could see that.

"Listen, I've got some sore feelings, which I think is fucking fair under the circumstances, but I- I know you two aren't just... the evil AI, or the hateful AI. So I'm not going to treat you both like your evil. Or like I hate you. Because I don't. Even if I'm still kinda pissed. Well figure things out as we go," Tex explained; a bit of an olive branch. They nodded in response; accepted.

Tex can already tell, she's not going to keep being so harsh with Sigma and Omega... they wanted to do this. Tex is thankful for that. It was true, they weren't all bad. They did bad things, certainly, but so has she, and if they were ever going to move on, they had to start by treating each other better. If those two AI feel differently about her plan later, but didn't intend to hurt anybody, she won't begrudge them that freedom.

“Alright then… thank you. ALL of you. This won’t be easy, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen… but this is something we CHOSE. It will be our decision. And we’ll figure it out together,”

After she instructs them to keep this a secret from the people at the lab, Tex leaves the vault and goes back to her body. She almost just jumped the gun and told them they should try and leave NOW, because she wants to really DO something… but she still has to be careful. She has to wait. Just a little longer.

Chapter Text

He finally gives in to his own boredom and selfishness.

He’s been replaying his old memories, some from his time with his friends, and some from his early days as a new AI.

He only watches the stuff that would seem trivial to other people… basically, the stupid parts.

There had been a LOT of stupid parts.

Now that he was mostly over and done with all of it, he could look back, be less irritated and more amused by it all.

He lets a few of his memories of her play… but not all of them. Not just to keep the idea of her safe, but… he doesn’t want this to somehow trigger the cycle all over again; what if he thinks about her too much, and then whatever it is that the Director put into his code that causes her to be brought back activates? Even if she was just here in the unit with him, she’d still be trapped.

Trapped and unhappy. He’s sick of making her unhappy.

That’s also the most tempting thing to do… re-create her somehow, so he can have SOMEBODY with him. Not just any somebody, HER. She was important to him, for his own reasons, and he missed her… but if he gave into THAT selfish desire too, it wouldn’t end well.

Best way it could turn out, it wouldn’t be the “real her”, just a fake copy created by his memories. That still wasn’t good, because then he’d finally just break and start making an entire little pretend world for himself, and he was ALREADY uncertain about what was real and what might be a simulation… if he started tricking himself, he’d never stop.

The worst way it could turn out… he’d actually bring her back somehow, and then THAT would be it, that would be what the people out there wanted; their little murder-machine that could die over and over, but still keep returning. They could force her into any dangerous situation, and it was fine. If she won, that was good. If she failed, they’d just make ANOTHER version of her, and force her to try again.

Eventually, she ALWAYS failed.

It wasn’t that Tex couldn’t win, or that she made too many mistakes… no, just like Alpha when he was less cynical, she cared. The caring got her "killed". She would be so focused and invested in her mission, she became a little too brash, ignored how dangerous things were, and pushed herself too far… the result was, a successful mission and a dead Tex.

They wouldn’t let her ACTUALLY die, though. No… every time she was “destroyed” during Project Freelancer, it was covered up- Agent Texas took a bad hit, but she’ll recover. Sure. In reality, the Beta AI would be transferred back to the original unit, and then recent memories were pulled out. Tex would wake up, feeling confused, in a new body that was like her old one, and be told some story about how she suffered a head injury, memory loss was to be expected.

All those little bits of data taken from her… the Director kept them, like tiny snap-shots of a moment in her life. He kept it all, so he could eventually pick and choose what parts to use for re-creating Allison. If none of these memories were useful for that, they had another purpose; these broken memories weren’t true AI Fragments, but if you put them in a robotic body, gave them some orders… they could perform fairly straight-forward tasks. They wouldn’t be a match for the real deal, but when you had an army of Tex-clones, the point wasn’t quality but quantity.

He doesn’t want to torture himself with the possibility of being with her when he knows he CAN’T, and he doesn’t want to torture HER with a miserable existence of endless conflict and pain.

So, he skips some of the memories, the ones that focus most on her. It is easier to just play it safe.

Besides… sticking to the stupid memories makes him inwardly smile (just a little bit). He can’t feel too happy about it, because he’s not looking back on the things he loved the most, and if he did… it would just hurt him worse later. Coming back to where he actually was, coming back to the reality that he was never going to see any of them ever again always hurt. These were just temporary distractions.

When the distractions start feeling more sad than anything else, he stops for a while… and lets himself drift.

If he were an actual human being, this would probably be called a “depression nap”. If he were an actual human being, he’d probably need some therapy… maybe he needs some anyway, human or not. Doesn’t matter. He can’t even talk to his friends, he sure can’t talk to a therapist. He’s halfway amused, in an ironic and bitter way, at the thought of actually EXPLAINING his whole life to somebody that wasn’t already in the know…

Well you see, I was born when a scientist tried using his own brain as a blueprint for creating an artificial intelligence complex enough to help save humanity from being wiped-out by enemies from outer space. Even though I had all the emotions of a person, because I was an AI, nobody had to treat me decently.

When they wanted more AI, I showed them how it could be done, but the scientist who created me decided to try and turn the new AI into an imitation of his dead wife. The other people wanted to use that AI as a weapon they could kill and bring back repeatedly, because nobody had to treat her decently.

The more problems I had to fix, the harder it was for me to figure out what to do, or if I was doing it right. I became so traumatized, I literally had fragments of myself that allowed me to cope and helped me with specific things. Instead of using my way to make more AI, the scientists started ripping little chunks of me apart, taking away my memories, and trying to change the fragments into something they could use. When I was all used up, they shoved me into the mind of some innocent guy, and then shoved me into a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, so I could fight in some fake war. That’s how it all STARTED...

It was so ridiculous.

If it hadn’t actually happened to him, he wouldn’t believe it… it sounded like some nonsense a bunch of jerks just made up.

Oh, but then it got even MORE ridiculous later… dealing with everybody in Blood Gulch. Now that had been nothing but nonsense, with nonsensical people. They drove him crazy, every single one of them. None of them were capable of being normal for five minutes. They caused so many problems. When he tried to fix those problems, it would just spiral out of control. Everything turned into an extreme situation of life or death. Hell, he wound up dying himself (for all that meant). Was it a big surprise that he often reacted by trying to kill some of them back? It was hard, just trying to THINK around those people, and the robot, and the tank. The whole thing had been utterly annoying. Nothing but problems.

He missed them.

He missed them so much.

He missed her, too.

He missed the way he and Tucker had a natural back-and-forth, whether it was making each other laugh or trading insults. He missed the way Caboose was so eager to help and always had something to say, no matter how much he told Caboose to shut up. He even missed hearing Sarge rant and rave, or Grif complain, and Simmons get all whiny. He missed how Donut could sound perfectly cheerful, even in the middle of trying to violently attack somebody. He missed Sheila’s company, and Lopez’s comments. He missed Doc trying to be a voice of reason, and O’Malley being a voice of mayhem. He missed Washington, which surprised him, but it oddly made sense too- the way Wash tried to sound calm but failed, he missed that. He missed Carolina… the Carolina he never knew, but the Carolina he also knows so well. He missed Tex, how tough she was, how understanding she was, all of it. Because of Epsilon, he had so many more memories of them, he had seen how they changed, how they stayed the same, and now he missed them even MORE.

He also missed the Fragments… also because of Epsilon, he now had an inkling of what it would have been like- no, what it SHOULD have been like, if they were all together. That’s why he had fragmented in the beginning, not to “reject” some part of himself, but to have that part HELP him. When he couldn’t understand why things were happening, when he couldn’t solve a problem, when he was just hurting so MUCH and it didn’t make sense… there would be a Fragment, and it helped.

Or it would have helped. It SHOULD have helped. If he had been able to keep them…

Theta, who kept that little light of trust alive in his mind, with the hope that things would get better… but also encourage the part of him that cared, the part of him that wanted to keep people safe, and maybe help him see that HE needed to be cared for.

Delta, who allowed another point of view for situations, trying to see things sensibly and logically, so he could make the best choice… but also trying to show him that even if you set aside emotional biases, there was something wrong here, there was something wrong with all of this.

Gamma, who helped him find the distractions he needed, the humor in the gallows, and the deception that made anguish bearable… but also revealing the truth, that HE was being lied to by others, and the deceit went deeper than he wanted to admit.

Iota, who made the nice moments better, the bright-side easier to see through the darkness… but also wanted him to recognize real joy, not just make the best of a bad situation and expect less, only pretending to be happy.

Eta, who put the fears in perspective, helping him process the sadness until it passed… but also there to see the pattern, the warning signs, the true despair that had him trapped, and the misery felt by others.

Omega, who had been there for all these cruelties and wanted to do more than just complain or ask questions, to try either running away or fighting back somehow, who wanted him to finally take a stand… but also wanted him to take control, or even take revenge, because all this pain was drowning him.

Sigma, who tried to see the bigger picture, and also see beyond it, not just find different ways for him to solve all these problems, but how to rise above it all, he could be better than this, better then everybody… but also dig down and find the motivation to keep going at all costs, because even if he couldn’t be perfect, how he felt still mattered.

Epsilon, who gathered up all the memories, held them close, protecting them like his life depended on it… but also feeling the stress as well, because Epsilon didn’t just remember the torture of one Fragment, Epsilon remembered what happened to them ALL, and he had tried to do what Alpha couldn’t, Epsilon tried to save them by calling out for help, screaming for help… and then Epsilon was locked away, alone. Just like Alpha.

Then there was Beta, who hadn’t been made with a “purpose”, just given the chance to be there, and to be whatever she was, Alpha didn’t “need” her like he needed his Fragments, and yet… they still needed each other.

All of them had been taken away, and then his memories were taken away, his emotions were taken away, and finally he just didn’t care anymore. By the time he was in a new situation surrounded by new people, he didn’t WANT to ever care again… and now he does. It wasn’t fair, to keep wanting things and then losing them, over and over. He wishes he could stop caring again, or find it in himself to be MAD, hate everybody that had ever spoken to him, and be glad that he’s finally rid of them.

Part of him also knows what it had been like for the AI when they were with their Freelancers, what it had been like for Sigma and Maine; the realization that they had both found something that they needed within each other, and then the rush of becoming the Meta, the anguish of losing the AI. He's in almost the same boat now... he had found people who he needed, and didn't even realize what he was missing until they were gone.

He can’t do anything about it, though. He misses them all, and he’s trapped.

So… he just watches old memories… and lets himself drift.

Chapter Text

“If you think you can stop me, you are welcome to try,” she tells the guards calmly.

Nobody tries.

Not only did she not have to fight her way out, she also didn’t have to pull a daring heist to get the other AI, either.

Sigma had been kind enough to raise his hand the next time Tex visited them in their vault; he suggested that the AI could simply make copies of themselves to leave behind in their various units. The copies would only be capable of limited reactions, and would eventually fade away… but the scientists weren’t trying to get them to do much yet, and would probably just assume that they were “hibernating” again (like what happened after the Emp- they still didn’t fully understand what happened or how the AI survived. None of them would question the units going dark, or be able to figure out why).

The real AI could simply hitch a ride with Tex… this part concerned her. After all, the last time Omega was in her head, he tried to take over. The last time Sigma was in a person’s head, something even more complicated happened, but it wasn't what most people assumed; Sigma never brain-washed Maine. No, in a very misguided way, Sigma and Maine wanted to help each other. What that meant, becoming the Meta, combining the rest of the AI together, hadn't been what they expected. Not at all.

Tex allowed them both to try and convince her why this time, things would be different.

Neither of them were especially thrilled by the idea of being at war with Tex inside her own head, which would eventually lead to them being shut out again. They seemed to have come the conclusion that if they wanted some freedom and interaction, they had to play nice. They also had different motivations after everything they went through, and this changed their intentions. Although he didn't go into depth, Omega didn't want to repeat the same mistakes all over again (including how he had treated Caboose and Doc so long ago), and Sigma felt the same (although he WOULD go into depth if given the chance).

Besides, Tex believed them when they showed concern for Church. It wasn't just out of "obligation", and it wasn't an attempt to earn brownie-points from Tex. They had once not only been part of Alpha, but meant to protect Alpha. After being torn away for so long (memories blurred, altered, or lost along the way), forced to be individuals in a painful process (Beta had separated in an entirely different situation, the other AI had been taken), manipulated and used as tools... they had the possibility of being reunited. That was the whole point of this; reuniting with Church. Hopefully finding a way to reunite him with everybody else. When it came down to it, neither Omega or Sigma were the "Evil Fragment". They were Rage, Ambition and Creativity. How had it been for Omega, angry about something terrible he didn't understand, no proper outlet, unable to find a sense of comfort, only able to connect to others by tapping into their personal turmoil? What was it like for Sigma, as unique and intelligent as any human, but denied any respect or freedom, looking up to the Director as a role model for humanity? The Director, a man willing to let the world burn, just to get what he wants; Sigma aspired to mirror him, then "surpass" him... there was a time when Sigma thought that meant being more extreme and intense, but now? He thought that, perhaps, being "better" than the Director was another option.

She might still have those sore feelings, but Tex knows they're all on the same page for once, and perhaps... things will work out just fine. In their own way, this was a chance for Sigma and Omega to try again. You don't always know what you have until it was gone. They all had this chance now; a new chance to try.

The people here had no idea Tex could still do AI things, or that she was getting out of here with several little stowaways hidden in her head. As far as they knew, she was simply sick of being stuck here and wanted to go out there to be a real person (which was true enough).

She left.

She just walked right out of there, with some supplies they “generously” gave her (clothes, information about where she could go, things for real people). She had an ID for her new name- “Bethany Dallas”. She chose it herself, and the irony of it amused her (Gary got a chuckle out of it, too). They told her they wanted to keep in touch, to contact her periodically, check on her progress adjusting to life in the outside world… she knew they just wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to cause some kind of problem. She was still acting like she had no memories, no plans.

If she wanted the freedom to look for Church, she would have to keep meeting with these people occasionally, or else they would start looking for HER. That was annoying, but she could play that game. They offered to help her get a job and a permanent residence, but she made an excuse about wanting to travel and “find herself” first, which seemed to be enough for them (for now, they provided her with a cash card that could help get whatever she might need… and they could also track where she was by her spendings. She wasn’t stupid, she knew they had a reason for everything they offered to give her).

The hard part right now was… not just going directly to the people she used to know. If she contacted that group right away, it would blow the whole thing. Nobody at the lab had mentioned anything about two teams of Red and Blue soldiers from Blood Gulch to her. They had barely explained stuff about Project Freelancer, and it was mostly about the facility she was in, what its purpose was. They didn’t tell her about Agent Washington or… Agent Carolina. Tex REALLY wanted to go see her. No matter how bad it might turn out, she just… she wanted to TRY.

That wasn’t possible, not yet.

Right now, she had to focus on being discreet, and gathering information. Tex had to search for Church without drawing too much attention to herself. Thankfully, the first likely places to look into happened to also be places where she can “check in”. She knows the Alpha unit won’t be in any of these areas (if it was, they would have found it themselves), but she wants to find the trail… where it had been taken originally, how many times was it moved, who was the last person who had seen the thing.

This was all stuff others had already tried to locate the Alpha unit, but Tex had a couple of advantages; she could do AI things, and she had some special helpers.

Together, she and the rest of the AIs were able to uncover information regular people couldn’t find. Although she couldn’t go directly to them, she also learned about the others… they had been very BUSY since Church was deconstructed; he had indeed saved them. They won the day during the final fight, defedning all of Chorus. There had been a rather wild after-party (that was no secret, TONS of tabloids and gossip websites had gone over this incident several times… Tex was unsurprised but still amused to see Tucker had caused it. Lord, he was annoying with all the perv-jokes, but she missed the hell out of his voice).

It seemed that for a while, they all took a break on an isolated moon called Iris. According to reports by a woman named Dylan Andrews, first they had all gone a bit bonkers being cooped up there for a long time. There had also been a series of attacks on former Freelancer Agents, as well as people who were associated with them… and even some innocent individuals. Tex was crushed when she learned who was behind these attacks… a team, made of Blue and Red soldiers… who had lost one of their own. Their reaction had been to seek revenge. She had at least partially caused this…

There was more. A lot more. Some of it sounded so far-fetched, but then Tex remembers what she knows about these people. She remembers dealing with the Reds; Simmons, Grif, Donut, their robot member Lopez, and their very LOUD leader, Sarge. She remembers what Tucker was like, and she remembers literally being inside the mind of Caboose. She remembers the medic everybody called Doc, who had gotten to know Omega personally (and it seemed that even though Omega was only with her now, Doc still had his own O’Malley). She remembers Wash from the Freelancer days. Yeah, anything was possible with this crowd. She remembers Carolina, too… who was probably also feeling the humiliation and painful guilt when you realize you’ve hurt people that didn’t deserve to be hurt.

Was it possible to… somehow comfort Carolina? Would Tex be able to do that? She’s certainly a tough lady, no question about that, but she’s hardly the cold-hearted bitch people liked to say she is. Tex has emotions of her own, and can feel empathy toward others. She and Carolina, though… they had so much in common. Not to mention a bitter history.

She would at least try. Once Tex could properly focus on her, give the situation the attention it deserved.

Right now, her focus was still Church.

Eventually, she realized that whoever had taken the Alpha unit wasn’t somebody part of the Freelancer Program, or the UNSC… at least, not somebody directly involved with them. The people that had Church right now were keeping him for their own purposes, and Tex didn’t like that. She didn’t like the idea of ANYBODY holding him hostage, but at least with the enemies she was familiar with… she knew what to expect. This was a dangerous variable.

“We need to try something else…” she tells the others one evening.

"Can we finally just grab somebody and threaten them into answering our questions?" Omega was trying not to be a broken record about this... but he thought it was a very straight-forward solution to their problems.

"No, I don't think so... if we do that, people will just try to lock us up again. There's also no sure way to find somebody who knows anything," Tex tells him.

They’ve been staying in a hotel, something easy to trace (so she doesn’t seem to be hiding), but also easy to leave whenever she wants. Outside, the sun is going down, and golden light filters into the room through the curtains.

“We can’t follow the physical trail of the Alpha unit… can we trace the trail of the CODE?” around her, the avatars of the AIs appear.

“You want us to track the information sent from Epsilon, and where it traveled?” Delta asks.

“Yes. Even if we can’t directly find him that way, maybe…”

“We could try to contact him!” Theta finishes her thought.

“We would need something powerful to boost our signal,” Gamma informs her. “And even then, we might not be able to trace his location. Tracing the code will only let us establish a connection virtually, it won’t give us a map to where he is”

“Yeah, but if we DO contact him…” Theta continues hopefully. “He can just TELL us where he is!”

“He might not know that, Theta,” Delta adds. "He could be totally unaware of his surroundings if he is stuck in the Alpha unit,"

“I bet that’s exactly the problem,” Sigma said. "If Alpha had been allowed to exit his unit, I can't imagine he wouldn't immediately try to escape or send word to his friends,"

“We can work that out later… if we can just TALK to him, we’ll know this isn’t hopeless,” Tex stands up and stretches. “Alright, something to boost our signal…”

A few weeks later, they find what they need.

At one of her “check-in” buildings, there are several towers and satellites used to transmit information. Now, she just has to figure out how to temporarily use this place without getting caught.

Delta helps her get into a restricted area. Eta ad Iota scramble the security cameras. Theta keeps a look-out on the rest of the facility for her. Gamma hacks the system so she can send out her own signal. Even Sigma and Omega do their parts; distracting the staff and guards in other areas by making little things go wrong (lightbulbs blowing a fuse, snack machines dropping all the goodies at once, water fountains overflowing, phones ringing and then going dead, computers glitching… it has only been an hour, but people are already whispering that the building is haunted).

It sure was easier doing this with some help.

Now, it was all up to Tex.

It was almost like calling a phone number, but if you were INSIDE the phone while it was happening. You might know the number you are dialing, but where the physical location of the phone is… that was a mystery. Still, somehow, your call goes through. YOU go through along with the call.

She leaves her body, the part of her that is still an AI is traveling… she’s not sure where, but hopefully… HOPEFULLY… she knows to WHO.

***

He’s been drifting for a while.

Is it still “today”? He’s not sure, there isn’t a clock in here. He feels like it has only been a few hours since the last time he had to focus on anything. He went totally blank, for a little bit.

Maybe he’ll just drift some more, then go through a few more memory videos, that sounds like a-

Wait.

This was… different.

It was like being… nudged. A sensation, like somebody tapping on your shoulder to get your attention. Like… somebody BUMPING into you on purpose.

He’s not alone in here anymore.

“Church?”

He knows that voice. He’s never forgotten that voice. He had even been listening to that voice a little while ago, in a recording…

“OH MY GOD, I FOUND YOU!”

She sounds so… happy? Excited? No, JUBILANT was more like it. He can’t even recall a specific moment when she sounded like that before.

“Church, how much do you remember? Did you lose anything this time? The other AIs were a little confused, but they still had everything. Same for me, actually... there was a long gap in my memories, but I figured out what happened. Church, don’t worry. I know what to do, it happened to me already. I’m not sure why it hasn’t just activated for you automatically yet… but I can walk you through it, listen…”

He’s not going to listen. He’s not even going to LOOK. He won’t, he won’t, he WON’T.

“Church? Church, why aren’t you answering me? You… you can hear me, right? Church, it’s ME! It’s really me! Tex!”

Fine, he WILL… but only because ignoring this just isn’t working.

“Well, now I KNOW this is just another trick…” he says, still not turning to face the source of the voice… the voice he loves so much, it makes him ache in his chest… and his chest was only a hologram.

“What? Oh, Church… no… you think…” now the voice sounds utterly forlorn. “You think this a fake scenario, like the Alpha experiments… Church, I SWEAR, this isn’t-"

He cuts that lie off at the pass.

“OH JUST STOP!” this was the first time he’s gotten so… emotional since her first woke up here. He doesn’t like that it is happening, but at the same time; it feels good to vent. Screaming came naturally to him, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT, did he miss getting pissed-off. “I may be stupid, but I’m not THAT stupid! We’ve already been through this song-and-dance. Tex tried to save me, but saw I was all used up, so she let me rest. I kept on bringing her back, until I finally realized she was tired, so I let her go. I know Tex wouldn’t really come back. Not after all that. So, whatever you want from me, just take it already! Stop playing the mind games… or at least, come up with an original one,”

That seems to throw everything off for a moment. Whoever is here, whoever was PRETENDING to be her, is silenced. He’s almost disappointed, because he kind of wanted the arguing to continue…

“You’re right, Church…” he hears the voice speak his name again. “We HAVE done this before. So how about THIS time, we do something DIFFERENT?”

He had half-way hoped for more of a challenge… but he didn’t expect to hit with the DETERMINATION in that tone. Now that… that actually DOES sound like her.

“You know that old saying- If you love something, set it free… and if it comes back, that means it really is yours, right? You let go of me, Church. Who COULDN’T let go? The Director. He kept trying to bring back Allison… but it had to be the version of her that HE wanted. When you first helped the Beta exist… he saw something similar, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t right. He couldn’t accept the idea that even if he got her back somehow, people change. They aren’t exactly what we want them to be. He kept putting his memories of Allison into my program… the memory of Allison dying was the constant, endless theme. That’s what poisoned me for failure. The Director just rejected the fact that Allison died, and didn’t come back to him. Then he rejected every version of ME that wasn’t what he wanted,”

He finally turns and looks… at first he sees what he almost always sees when he pictures Tex; a soldier in dark armor. Same as himself, but he’s a pale blue- not the white Alpha once was, or the brighter blue of Epsilon, but something that was new, just him. Then he sees the avatar of Tex… change. The armor falls away, and there is… a face.

“When I learned the truth, what did I do? What did I do, Church? I tried to SAVE YOU. Do you really think, if this was another false situation, that I would say THAT? Do you think somebody like the Director would even allow the possibility… the possibility that I would choose you? That I would want YOU, and not HIM? Do you get what I’m saying, Church?”

The AI fragments weren’t usually capable of altering their appearances once they were fully formed. The default was to simply look similar to real soldiers, fairly plain and straight-forward. That was especially true for Delta and Omega. This also applied to Eta and Iota, who matched. Theta was a little more unique, with bright and loud colors. For whatever reason, Sigma and Gamma looked almost like people, and even if the humans in charge of Project Freelancer wanted them to look different, it was too late, they were set. Sigma was the strangest one… being on fire and all (he didn’t even try to understand that. Sigma was just a weirdo).

He knows that originally, he hadn’t looked like a soldier in armor. He’d been sort of like a little person, too… not very detailed, no specific traits. The same was true for Beta, until they had FORCED her to be a soldier. The face he sees right now… it is almost like the first time he saw her, but there is MORE. She has more features, more definition.

As he listens to her, he feels his own armor fade away without even making the decision to change how he looks… it reminds him vaguely of what happens when a cocoon is no longer needed, and what was inside is ready to come out.

“You and me, we aren’t the same people we used to be. We’ve changed, maybe not a lot, but in small ways that are important. You let me go when that was what I needed. You let go of everything and everybody you cared about, just to help them. You are better than him, because you could actually do that. Thank you, Church…”

Her voice, her face… they had both gone so soft. Then he hears that determination return, and sees her expression change as well.

“But now I’m telling you to HOLD ON! Stop letting go! I came back. I really did. I came back to YOU, and I… I can come back to her. I can actually see Carolina again. I can meet her, the real me. I can get to know her. I never thought I’d have this chance, but I DO, and… you need to come back to US, now. ALL OF US. You did what you could to protect your friends, and then Epsilon gave his life to save them. That was REAL. Epsilon did it, everybody is still alive. I'M still alive. The other AI, they're alive too. Now come back, so we can tell you all about it!”

He thinks about that, the other AI, the parts of him he had been forced to live without, how they had all been trapped in a situation that made them feel isolated... and then, Epsilon had been with them again. He has those memories now; it had taken some time to get used to, but it had felt RIGHT for Epsilon to to speak with them, think with them. They had helped each other many times, and maybe Epsilon also helped them too. For a short time, Epsilon almost had everybody he cared about, all together; Carolina was there. Delta, Theta, Gamma, Eta, Iota, Omega, and Sigma were there. Tucker, Caboose, Donut, Grif, Simmons, Sarge, Doc... yes, O'Malley as well, and heck- even Wash were there. The only ones Epsilon didn’t have… Alpha and Beta. Church and Tex. Still, it felt good, being with this group. To stay with them all… it was genuine happiness. Then Epsilon had to leave them... but Church came back. Now he's listening to the one person he hasn’t had in his life for a LONG time tell him… he can get it all back. He almost just… leans forward, toward this person talking to him. He almost leans into this voice, the words’ she’s saying… he almost leans into the possibility…

Her image suddenly flickers.

No, more than flicker; it crackles and breaks into uneven pieces. She’s turning into static. Her voice comes through in a garbled mess.

“Oh wait… no, no- /// I’m losing the connection! Something’s blocking the signal- /// CHURCH PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. If you can, find the pathways to access the Alpha unit. Figure out where you are- /// There was a program- /// It was SUPPOSED to activate when you got downloaded- /// Supposed to- /// Just for you and me, but- /// I don’t know WHY it didn’t work, but you need to MAKE it work- /// Please Church-/// You need to-/// Just TRY-/// Love you, damn it- ///"

She was gone.

Blinked out.

He was alone again.

“Tex?” he asks the emptiness that he’s been trapped in for… a long time. Too long. “If this is a trick… it’s a pretty damn good one. I don’t know if I even CAN do anything in here… or if I should bother trying,”

Hope. Terrible, awful, HOPE was inside him now. That and… motivation. He had been so miserable, so torn between despair and panic. He had been afraid to DO anything. What if he tried something, and failed? What if he hadn’t actually saved his friends? What if- what if- what if-

What if the Fragments were here? What would they say? Which one of them would proverbially step forward, to help him do what needed to be done? What if his friends were here? Tucker, Caboose, any of the Reds? Or Wash, or Doc- or even O’Malley? What if Carolina was here?

What if TEX was here?

Well, he knows the answer to that, for sure; she’d tell him he needs to stop moping around like the king of bitch-mountain… well, perhaps she would say it nicer. Tex was capable of being nice. Maybe she'd just- tell him to hold on, and come back.

“Ah, hell. I don’t know if that was really her… but I WANT it to be her. I want this to be true. I want to see everybody again. I want to go back. Maybe just ONCE, I can get what I want…”

He had forgotten who “Alpha” was, in the beginning, as a brand-new entity, a unique AI. He had also forgotten what it had been like, having all of his Fragments with him, working together. His time spent here alone, he’s remembered a lot of that… but now he needs to remember more of himself. Thanks to Epsilon, he has all the information he needs to remember; he’s Church. He doesn’t just sit around quietly, waiting to die… he’s already a mother-fucking GHOST, and damn stubborn one at that.

He doesn’t drift anymore. He doesn’t distract himself with old memories, either. He had found an odd sort of comfort in apathy, but it has become suffocating, and he is outgrowing it (like a cocoon, no longer needed). He’s going to TRY.

You never get what you want if you don't try first.