Chapter Text
She spat half of Eld out.
Auruo couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Eld was- Fuck. But how could she-? Was it possible she could see again? That fast?
He felt cold dread travel up his spine.
When he looked at it, he saw the fucking thing looking towards its right. Towards Petra.
She was already on the move, gliding close to the ground. He couldn’t see her face from where he was. Panic constricted his throat.
Without thinking, he moved towards her.
The titan seemed to think the same thing, as it crouched and started running.
No. No. No.
“Petra!! We have to regroup!”
He only heard the ground shake behind him.
Fuck. Fuck.
His hands were trembling, the fingers bumping against his 3D gear.
Shit.
He let himself fall.
“PETRA!”
The metal wires somehow tensed, he had no time to waste.
He dropped his blades and let out all the compressed gas.
A slam.
A scream.
The next thing he felt was a blunt hit to his back.
Then his head.
His legs.
Something sharp in his abdomen.
His body dragged and rolled against the ground.
Then silence.
Auruo opened his eyes. Terror clutching at his heart.
He looked down with trepidation and saw her. Her hair in a wild disarray, with leaves and dirt clinging to the strands.
She was alive. In his arms. He felt a relief so strong that tears started gathering in his eyes. They had been too close. This was the second time he had come so close to death by a titan, and the first one for Petra.
He knew that guys like him didn’t get lucky many times. And as his ma had always said: Third time’s a charm.
He momentarily buried his nose in Petra’s hair, inhaling the scent he had come to know so well.
As he huffed an unbelieving laugh and relaxed, he looked to where they had come from to see it in the distance. Its lone blue eye unnervingly fixed on them. He tensed again, moving his body to shield Petra from the view.
Forget about us. You’re not taking her from me.
Petra started moving in his arms.
“Auruo...? What-”
Without letting her finish her thoughts, he pushed all his body weight down, not allowing her to stand.
What was he doing? Petra raised her hands to try and grab the front of his shirt.
“Auruo! We have to go help Eren! What’s wrong, are you hurt? How did we-? What happened?”
No response from him. She couldn’t see his face, as it was buried in her neck, and for a small moment she panicked, thinking that he had fallen unconscious.
But no, Auruo was breathing above her; she could hear perfectly well his laboured breaths near her ear. What was he doing?
She heard Eren’s raging scream before the yellow lighting blinded her.
No, no, Eren had transformed. Desperation made her grit her teeth. Damn it, they didn’t have time for Auruo’s stupid stunts.
“AURUO! We have to go! NOW!”
He still didn’t budge.
It was not the time for his melodrama. Petra wiggled until she had enough space to raise her knee to his stomach with force. She knew it was a soft spot for him, as she had often rendered him useless, just like this, when they were training. Even if it hurt him, she hoped the pain would make him finally react.
That time, to her astonishment, he only let out the most gut-wrenching sound. She felt him tense, but he didn’t roll away. He had managed to grab her wrists and was pressing hard enough to leave marks on her skin.
“…I’m sorry. I can’t.”
She only heard him because he spoke breathily right next to her ear, and she hated that she felt so flustered at the feeling of his warm breath so close to her.
He sounded broken, agonizing. Petra never wanted to hear him talk like that again. Shit. She refused to believe he was that injured with the force he was putting in getting her to stay low. Was he having a moral dilemma? Now, of all times?
The ground shook with force. Eren would need all the help he could get.
She needed Auruo to move away from her. Her patience was wearing thin, but if she wanted him to move, screaming and kicking was going to get her nowhere. She forced the frustration out of her voice and replaced it with softness, she talked to him like she would a wounded animal.
“Auruo, let me stand. You stay here but let me go help Eren.”
He ducked his head lower, avoiding her searching gaze.
“Petra… please…”
His voice was so strained. Scratchy, as if he had talked for the first time in years. Auruo could be exceptionally brave against titans, slaying them precisely and with decisiveness behind his moves. However, he could also be a scared boy behind all that bravado. He needed to understand she was scared as well, after all, Eld and Gunther were-. No, she shut her eyes tightly, not now.
The mission came first, the mourning would come later.
Auruo just needed to be reminded of what was at stake.
“Auruo… Eren needs you. He needs us.” She palmed his cheek in an uncharacteristic show of affection, trying to lock her eyes with his to make him understand.
He shook his head, pain lacing his words.
“Petra, that’s walking to your death. You can’t beat that titan, it’ll kill you.”
“We belong to the Survey Corps. If it’s a necessary sacrifice, I’ll die doing my duty.”
He raised his head sharply at that, looking at her with a horrified expression. As close as he was, she could see his lashes were wet, his eyes more sunken than usual and an ugly blush was staining his cheeks. His mouth hung open like a blubbering fish before he snapped.
“How can you say that?! Gunther and Eld just died, before our eyes! Do you want to end up like them that badly?” A shocked gasp left her as he flinched.
The words seemed to hurt her as much as it had hurt him to say them. Petra started to feel a tell-tale lump on her throat, but she swallowed it down. Now was not the time for this, she was on the Special Operations Squad, and they had a job to do.
“Auruo!! Centre yourself!! We have a mission, a duty!! The mission isn’t over until we’re in bed, remember?!”
There was a madness in his eyes, fuelled by pure rage, a burning hatred as she spat his own words back at him.
“Bullshit. Are you really that eager to leave everything behind? What about your life? Your father!”
A gasp left her as she recoiled from him, only to see a flash of hurt over his features. Bastard. How dare he? She was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
Petra slapped him, hoping he bit his tongue until he could speak no more. Then, she punched his throat, and he made a gurgling noise above her. She hastily flipped them over and stood up.
“He would be proud to know I died doing my duty and not cowering on the floor like you!” She screamed her throat raw; how could he always drive her to such extremes?
She watched his disgusting face contort in an ugly pull of emotions. Why had she stayed in the first place? He stood there, too weak to stand up.
“You’re a disgrace, if only the captain were here to see your pathetic act…”
She saw him cringe then, one arm over his eyes. Petra spotted actual tears run down his face, and she silenced the part of her that wanted to wipe them away with her thumb. She turned around, ready to leave his miserable act behind.
“Is that it?” He asked to her retreating back, voice soft. “Do you think nothing will happen to you because he’ll come rescue you?”
She didn’t answer him. If he disrespected the captain, the kick she was aching to give him would be justice. But he was unable to stop, the words spilling in between his teeth.
“Huh?! Is that it?! Just at the last minute he’ll fall from the sky and kiss you?!”
“Auruo, that’s enough!” Petra blushed furiously and turned around in a whirl, she couldn’t believe him! The nerve he had to-
Suddenly a piercing scream cut through the air. Fuck. Eren. Petra had let herself be distracted by Auruo’s nonsense, like always. They had wasted enough precious time already.
She started checking her 3D gear, the left side seemed good enough, but the right one was damaged beyond repair. She couldn’t properly hear Auruo’s stream of idiocies. She would have never thought he could be such a coward.
“I’ll go help Eren, you stay here until a titan comes and eats you.”
With that she pulled herself up to the nearest tree and began the known motions of navigating the forest. She did not dare to look back, knowing that the sight of him slumped, hurting and crying would make her want to stay.
Fuck him. Fuck him. Even then, after all he had said and done… She knew the look in his eyes would be forever burned in her memory. She took a deep breath and flew to the next tree. The sounds of battle had grown fainter, but maybe, she would get there in time.
**
“PETRA, WAIT, PLEASE”
Auruo watched her from the ground, her fiery hair swallowed by overwhelming green. He had to go after her. Right now. His hands were trembling too much. Fuck.
He crawled next to one of the trees, using its bark to raise himself. He almost doubled over again. There was a sharp pain in his abdomen and as he took one of his hands to press against it, an amused huff left him. His palm was covered in blood.
Even if his 3D gear weren’t completely shattered, he doubted he was in condition to use it. He loosened the straps, and the removed weight was a relief to his sore back.
He took the first step and started limping after Petra.
**
When Petra got where she had heard all the commotion, all she saw was a pile of bones with little tissue clinging to them, disintegrating. Was it…the Female Titan? Had Eren managed to kill her? But then… where was he?
The clearing was too empty. She saw a few broken trees and deep marks on the ground. It had been a hard-fought battle.
She could still hear faint steps on the distance. A titan running. It was probably Eren but… were the steps going deeper into the forest? Dammit. Trying to follow was too risky. For all she knew, it could be an abnormal, and she wasn’t in the right mind to fight one at the moment.
She put her blades back on her sheath. A sigh left her lips, and she rubbed her fingers over her eyes. God, she was exhausted.
They had failed their mission. They had failed to protect Eren. He was a tenacious boy, but she would never forgive herself if he died because of her incompetence. He had to be alright.
Petra could perfectly imagine the look of disappointment on her Captain’s eyes, directed entirely towards her when they told him the news. Just the thought of it made her face flush in shame. What would she tell him when he asked why they had waited so long to get to Eren?
How could she justify all the time she had wasted trying to reason with Auruo? She didn’t even know herself.
She would have done the same with Eld or Gunther, she reasoned. Although maybe none of them would have risked their lives to save her.
She hadn’t saved them either. It had happened so fast, she couldn’t even- her nose started itching, like when she was a child and she would start to cry, burying her face against her mother’s skirts.
She forced herself to breathe. In and out, in and out… And when her feet felt steady once more, she turned around, determined to at least save someone today.
**
Auruo was pretty much where she had left him, leaning heavily against a tree, clutching his side.
She let herself fall beside him.
“Can you walk?” Her voice sounded cold to her own ears.
“Y-Yeah…”
His face was ashen, and his gaze had a shiny feverish haze. Stupid idiot. She put her arm around him and immediately he slumped against her with a sigh.
As she enveloped his torso, she reached something damp with her palm but decided not to think too hard about it.
“We need to find the horses, or we’ll be left behind.”
“No, they’ll come for Eld and Gunther.” She had to strain to hear him.
Well. It wasn’t a bad plan. Auruo couldn’t keep up the pace they needed anyway, and she doubted he would last too long on horseback. Still, they had left the corpses behind many times, what if no one came? No, she couldn’t think like this.
Captain Levi wouldn’t leave them behind.
They turned around and walked back to the clearing.
**
They both sat on the roots of a tree in silence. The birds and rustling leaves sounded too peaceful for Petra’s taste. The sun shone still, as if it was a bright, cheerful day, as if death and blood weren’t staining the forest.
Auruo moved slightly and she heard him take a sharp intake of breath.
“You alright?”
He nodded once. It was such an obvious lie that Petra couldn’t figure out why he still bothered to put up a front. Then again, she knew he wasn’t alright, why did she bother to ask?
He would need to have that checked, Petra thought. If he was having this much trouble breathing while sitting down, a few ribs were likely broken.
Then again, how could they not be?
He had thrown himself at her, full speed, enveloping her with his body and shielding her from the hits against the ground and trees. Hell, she was sure to have more than a few bruises, but… She was alive thanks to him.
Her gaze trailed to his face once again. His head was tilted backwards, resting against the bark of a tree and his expressive brows were pinched over his eyes, forcibly shut in a look of pain.
Sweat made his hair cling to his temples and the lower half of his face lay relaxed with his mouth half open, drawing quiet breaths. Like that, his wrinkles were less prominent, and his bone structure shone, drawing attention to his angled nose and flat cheeks.
Had he been any other man, she would have thought he looked handsome.
Auruo was a skilled soldier, and the times he had been seriously hurt in battle were not as many as one would think seeing how clumsy he was on a day to day-to-day basis. When he fought, he turned almost graceful, it seemed as if nothing could lay a blow on him.
But those were mere illusions. She could remember the time when a titan almost swallowed him, after he froze mid-air, following Hange’s orders. Or when another titan slapped him as if he were a bothersome fly, sending him clashing against the rooftops.
All those times, he had preferred to be left alone, spending however long he needed to recover from his injuries in solitude.
Petra had never seen him like this. His face was still too ashen, and beads of sweat clung to his upper lip. She had never seen him so quiet for such a long time. No stupid remarks, no boastful banter… Petra hated him like this.
Overcome with a wave of- of something, she clasped their hands together, their fingers interlaced. His fingers were cold and dirty. Her own hand smeared with his blood. She could have lost him.
“Thank you.” She squeezed his broad palm. “For saving my life.”
She felt him tilt his head towards her but looking at him was too much to ask at the moment.
He looked down at their hands together against the grass and smiled. “…Anytime, nag.”