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Sue sits alone at the circular table until someone plops down to the seat beside her.
“Haaaaaaay,”
“...”
“Haaaaaaaaaay...”
“...”
“Ehem. haaaaaaaaaayyyyy….”
Sue raises her brow at Joan. “Joan? Okay ka lang?”
“No. No, I am not okay.”
“What’s wrong?”
“This is our last year in Junior High School. 16 years of existence tapos wala man lang akong slow dance or something. Kahit ano! Basta! Kasi naman! Bwisit na all-girls school na ‘to. I’ve always wanted to waltz with someone, parang ‘yung mga sa pelikula!” she dramatically slouches in her seat and crosses her arms in a very unladylike way. Sue looks away from her pointedly while she feels her best friend’s stare piercing through the back of her head. She takes a sip of juice from her glass.
“Sue?”
“Hm?” still not looking. Won’t look. Nope.
“Sue.”
“Yes?”
“Do you wanna dance with me?”
Sue looks at Joan incredulously as if she wasn’t waiting for her to say it.
“Hindi tayo papayagan ng mga Madre. Catholic school, remember?” Sue says matter-of-factly.
“What they don’t know won’t kill them!” Ah, yes. Her go-to phrase after watching Tangled when they were kids. What mother doesn’t know won’t kill her, right?
They got into a lot of trouble because of that. And they most probably will get into trouble after this. But she looks at her eyes, Joan’s eyes, and sees fire behind them. Always ready to rise up to the challenge. Always ready to take the hit for people, but seemingly so timid when it comes to standing up for herself. But tonight, the gleam was different. It was almost a yearning, and Sue would rather die than admit that her eyes mirror that of the girl beside her.
Sue doesn’t say anything, so Joan tries again. “Tara? Takas táyo? Make sayaw sayaw, gano’n!” she mimics slow dancing with someone. Sue chews on her lower lip and looks around, makes sure nobody’s watching, and stands up. “Tara.”
Joan grins and grabs Sue's hand, and with no attempt at being discreet, runs to the direction of the bathroom, forcing Sue to run with her goddamn heels.
"Gago, sandali! Ang sakit ng paa ko! Wait…" she removes it and bundles it up in one hand. Now, people are staring. There's still time to back out. Like, 3 seconds. But she looks at their intertwined hands and decided that this is probably the climax of her night. Okay, let's do this. It's just a dance; what they don't know won't kill them!
They tread slower, trying not to trip over their gowns but Joan is practically skipping. She almost always is. They're heading for the bathroom and Sue is reluctant, so she slowly lets go of Joan's hand when they reach the door.
why am I regretting letting go of her hand? We've held hands before. We've always done that! During the first time we crossed the road together, when Joan fell on her bike and scraped her knee, and when we both got caught trying to retrieve a paper airplane on their neighbor's roof… and we've let go! Many times! Goddammit, Sue—
"It's too small. Masyado maliit 'yung cubicles." Joan interrupts her thoughts.
"So… abort mission?"
"Coward!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"What do you suggest we do, then?"
"Saan ba madilim? Hmm…" Joan ponders. "I know. Parking lot."
"There will be people, dummy."
"8 pa lang kayâ. Surely no one's leaving yet?"
"... Touché."
"Tara!"
Then they walk. Jog a bit. Skips. Joan does.
They're at the parking lot now. Conveniently empty. They find the spot with the least lighting and it's in the very corner at the back of an SUV, just big enough so they can stand a meter apart from each other.
"So." Sue starts, putting down her heels.
"So."
"How do we—where do we proceed from here?"
"Susan, put your hand on my waist."
They step closer together. Sue obliges, the other hand clasping with Joan's.
Joan starts the dance. "Just follow my lead." Step. Slide. Step. Slowly. Surely.
They get into the rhythm. "Shouldn't there be music?" Sue inquires.
"Hmm… I think naiwan ko phone ko in my bag…"
"You left your bag. There. On the table."
"Don't be mad!"
"Pa'no kung nawala 'yun?"
"Ang ingay mo!" Joan whisper shouts while putting a finger over Sue's lips. Silence, until—
"I'll sing." Joan says.
And it's the song they've heard on the radio multiple times while staying at Joan's house for miryenda. It's the song they've memorized word per word. It's the song Sue subconsciously associated with her best friend and she refuses to believe any reason other than this being her favorite. She hums the intro. Of course she does.
Sandali na lang…
They sway.
Maari bang pagbigyan
Aalis na nga
Joan's voice, barely a whisper, out of tune, even. But it's the most perfect thing Sue has ever heard.
Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Joan's eyes doesn't leave the floor, but—
Sana ay maabot ng langit ang 'yong mga ngiti
She smiles at Sue. And she sees things that she felt should've been kept a secret. The little tooth gap Joan so ridiculously hates. The little mole beside her right eye. The brown contacts she insisted on wearing because it matches her yellow dress. The perfectly sharp winged eyeliner. The glitters of her eyeshadow that got in her lashes.
sana ay masilip.
'wag kang—
"ARAY, 'YUNG PAA KO, WAIT—natapakan mo—!"
Sue breaks away to clutch her foot and Joan covers her mouth, probably hiding her laugh… no, yeah. She is.
"Oh my god, bakit mo kasi tinanggal sapatos mo—" she said in the middle of giggles.
"Eh bakit ikaw! 'di mo tinanggal sa 'yo!"
"Madumi 'yung lapag! Besides, do people go barefoot on the dancefloor?"
"Joan, I swear to God—"
"Sorry na! Got caught in the moment." she tries more sincerely. "Sorry."
"Okay lang." Sue says as she sits down on the floor to put on her shoes. "Balik na tayo. Baka mahuli pa."
"Hindi man lang natapos 'yung kanta!"
Sue raises her eyebrows at her. Joan slides down to the space beside Sue and crosses her arms.
"Ayaw."
"Joan."
"Let's finish the song!"
Sue thinks it through. "Okay. One condition: don't step on my toes!"
"Deal."
Sue was in the middle of taking off her shoes again but she stops when Joan says something. "Your eyes are pretty."
I'm still breathing? She thinks
"Thank you. They're useless. I can't see anything in them."
"But I like looking at them!"
Sue doesn't know what to say to that so she laughs. This time, she stands up first. "Can I have this dance, milady?" She says dramatically, reaching out her hand to help her friend up.
"Yes, ma'am! You most certainly can!" Joan says just as grandiloquently.
It's dark with barely any lights. They're sticky with sweat. Gowns crumpled. And Sue's feet are dirty. But maybe if the girl now practically jumping with excitement stops stepping on Sue's toes, maybe getting stabbed in the eye with a makeup brush was worth it.