Work Text:
...This doesn’t look good. Even Mario knows that something is supposed to happen by now. He tries again… And again… Still nothing.
“Oh no.”
He comes to a terrifying realization before quickly running out of the room. Mario knows that he’s dealing with a terrible crisis right now… And there’s only one person he can turn to.
“LUIGI!”
“Huh?”
Luigi doesn’t even manage to comprehend what’s going on before his brother slams into the chair he was occupying, causing both of them to go flying into the wall. Luigi isn’t too bothered by this, as things like that are pretty much usual when living with Mario… But he seemed more panicked than usual.
“Luigi, we need to go, now!”
“Go where?”, Luigi asks, getting up. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s a matter of life and death!”
“What do you mean? Calm down and explain.”
“The toilet is broken!”
A wave of fear hits Luigi as Mario says that. He now understands that his brother’s panic is completely justified. However, for once in his life, he doesn’t let fear get the better of him and starts forming a plan. If the toilet is broken, then that means that someone would need to fix it. That’s not a problem, as fixing toilets is literally is job (well, one of them, at least), but he’d have to know what exactly is wrong first. He turns towards his brother again.
“What exactly happened?”, he asks. “Could you see what’s wrong?”
“How should I know?!”
Luigi… Isn’t sure how to react to that.
“Bro… You’re a plumber. It’s your job to know what’s wrong with toilets.”
“The last time I did anything related to plumbing was years ago! You can’t blame Mario’s small brain for forgetting some things!”
“Mamma mia…”, Luigi sighs. “Well, let me take a look. Maybe I’ll be able to do something about it.”
***
“I can’t do anything about it.”
“What?! But that means-“
“Calm down,” Luigi assures his brother, getting up from the broken toilet. “I can’t do anything right now… But if I had some extra tools and spare parts, then maybe we could figure something out.”
“Phew… You had Mario worried for a second there. So, what’s your plan?”
“Well, I guess I could order the necessary parts on the Internet-“
“No!” Mario suddenly jumps up, determination burning in his eyes.
“Huh? Why not?”
“What if the package gets lost? Or stolen? No… This is something only we can do!” he jumps on a drawer and poses dramatically. “Nobody else could be trusted with something this important!”
“I don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about. The delivery men are just going to be doing their job.”
“You don’t understand… This isn’t just about a job… This is about a duty! Our duty to fix the most important piece of equipment in this house! ARE YOU WITH ME!?”
“Uhh…” Luigi hesitates briefly. He knows Mario well enough to understand that he isn’t getting out of this one. “Sure, I guess…”
“Well then, let’s go! TO HOME DEPOT!”
Mario takes a step forward…
“Look out!”
“For whAAAAA-“
His scream is cut short as he hits the floor with a thud. Turns out, trying to leave the house without getting down from a drawer first isn’t a very good idea.
***
Local Home Depot
A few hours later
“…Alright Mario, let’s run through the list just one more time. Tape?”
Mario glances over at the full box of Flex Tape in the shopping cart he’s pushing.
“Check.”
“Pipes?”
One of them appears to be home of a Piranha Plant, but that can be sorted out later.
“Check.”
“Spare toilet bowl?”
Bowl? That empty spaghetti bowl Mario put in the cart after the lunch break should do just fine.
“Check.”
“Bleach?”
Oh. He probably means that funky juice Mario has been drinking for the last minute or so. This might be a problem.
“Uhh…”
In response to that, Luigi turns around to look at Mario, currently holding an open, half empty bottle of bleach.
“…I guess I’ll pick up another bottle later. Except for that, everything we’re missing now are new tools after our last set disappeared.”
“Yeah…” Mario’s mind immediately flashes back to the previous week…
He was attempting to use their toolbox to “fix” an empty plate of spaghetti. For him, that meant hitting it with a hammer over and over, hoping it’d magically refill. It didn’t. Frustrated, he decided to dump every single tool on the plate, and THEN hit it with a hammer… Only for the pile to spontaneously transform into a shelf. That was the fourth time he built one by accident. Google was unhelpful in resolving the issue.
“’…Disappeared.’”
“To be honest, I still wonder what happened with them. There’s no way an entire box worth of tools can just vanish into thin air.”
“I guess we’ll never know…” this conversation is making Mario a bit uncomfortable, but he spots something in the distance… A perfect opportunity to change the topic.
“Hey, what’s that over there?”
“Huh?”
Luigi also focuses his attention in the direction Mario was looking in, and sees a toolbelt, sitting on top of a pedestal. Aside from the unconventional display method, it seems to be just a standard belt to keep various tools in.
“Mario, that’s just an ordinary toolbelt.”
“Yeah, but it’s a nice toolbelt. Besides, maybe it’s bundled with some tools you need for the toilet! If it is, we can save some money for spaghetti.”
“That’s… A surprisingly smart thought. I guess we can check it out.”
So they decide to walk over to it. Upon closer inspection, they find out that there’s a bunch of flyers next to the pedestal, seemingly advertising the toolbelt itself. That’s not the only thing they find out about though…
“It costs how much?!”
“Exactly fifty thousand coins!” a Home Depot employee suddenly manifests next to the bros to answer Luigi’s question, “Just as it says on the pedestal!”
“I can see that, but… Why so much? It seems to be just an ordinary toolbelt.”
“I can assure that it definitely isn’t one!” he hands Luigi and Mario one flyer each, “Here, check this out!”
“’The All-Purpose Toolbelt… Never run out of tools ever again’? What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just turn the flyer around.”
Both Mario and Luigi do just that. And after a few seconds of reading…
“Too much reading, Mario’s brain is getting tired. Can you show us how it works instead?”
“With pleasure!” the employee proclaims with enthusiasm, before jumping on the pedestal and grabbing the belt; “To put it simply, the All-Purpose Toolbelt contains every single tool you could possibly dream of! Here, let me show you!” he reaches into the belt and starts pulling out various objects as he names them; “Hammer? Screwdriver? Shovel? Nail gun? Laser welder? M16 assault rifle? Season 2 of Swag Champions Omega on Blu-Ray? Meta Runner hent-“
“Okay, I think we get it.”
The employee seems a bit disappointed by Luigi’s interruption, but quickly pulls himself together.
“Point is, you can find all that, and more, in the All-Purpose Toolbelt.”
“Cool!” a new voice suddenly enters the conversation; “I’ll take it!”
“Here you go!” The employee throws the belt at the owner of the voice, standing behind the bros.
“Huh?” Both Mario and Luigi are confused by this unexpected intrusion, and turn around to see who exactly is the mysterious person. Turns out, it’s none other than SMG3.
“Oh, hey! Didn’t see you there.” SMG3 greets them, without any hostility in his voice.
“What are YOU doing here?” Mario is not amused.
“Shopping. What else could I be doing at a Home Depot?”
Mario and Luigi don’t seem to believe him, and are still eyeing him with suspicion.
“What? Even villains deserve a day off once in a while! I have a life, you know.”
Even with that, he still fails to convince the bros.
“…What are you planning to do with that toolbelt?” Luigi asks.
“Uh… I’m going to… build… a shelf!” SMG3’s façade starts breaking up, but he still attempts to maintain a straight face; “That’s right! I need a shelf, to… Umm… Properly file out my schemes… And plans! Schemed plans!”
“And this doesn’t have anything to do with any ongoing scheme OR plan?”
“Nope! Nothing at all!”
“Sure…” Luigi is still skeptical; “And where did you get the money for it?”
SMG3 is completely silent for a few seconds, and his internal panic can be seen leaking out.
“…Viewer donations?” He finally responds.
Mario and Luigi keep observing him for a few seconds while SMG3 is on the verge of a mental breakdown… Before suddenly stopping.
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Mario says.
“We’d wish you good luck with your shelf, but you’re evil, so…” Luigi starts, before getting interrupted by SMG3.
“I don’t need no luck when I have this baby!” he flaunts his new belt; “Well, time for me to leave. Tell SMG4 to fuck himself for me, will ya?”
And leave he does. He starts walking towards the register…
“Yo, give me that!”
…But suddenly gets tackled by another person. Mario and Luigi go investigate… And quickly find the culprit.
“You’ve gotta be kidding…”
It’s Bob. The person who attacked SMG3 is Bob. He is currently holding the belt in his, uh… ‘hand’ while his victim is sitting in the background, holding his leg in pain.
“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”
“What are YOU doing here, Bob?! Don’t tell me you’re planning a renovation…
“No, I simply had an amazing idea. See, I figured everything out. Bitches like guys who are hardworking.”
“But you’re not-“
“Shut up and let me explain.” Bob interjects. “Anyways, this made me realize that even someone as perfect as me has weaknesses, such as actual work. But that’s where this baby comes in!” He raises the toolbelt. “I’m going to use this thing to LOOK hardworking! Check this out!”
He puts the belt on.
“Wow, I can even FEEL more hardworking with this! It’s almost like the belt-“
He collapses to the ground mid-sentence. Mario and Luigi run up to him.
“BOB! You alright?”
He suddenly lifts his head, but his eyes now glow orange instead of their usual green-ish color. Mario and Luigi jump back in shock.
“I… Have become enlightened.” Bob says while getting up; “The real solution was in front of my very eyes!”
“What the hell are you on about?” Mario asks, understandably confused.
“With the power of this belt, I’m going to renovate every single building in this whole nation! Everyone will finally love me… Worship me! And then… I’ll get more bitches than I ever dreamt of.”
“…The fuck?”
“Oh yeah, I kinda forgot to mention something.” the employee appears out of nowhere once again; “You need a pure heart and strong spirit in order to wield the power of the All-Purpose Toolbelt. Otherwise, it’s going to take over your soul and make you obsessed with the concept of renovating.”
“But when you were doing your demonstration-“
“Oh, that’s simple:” the employee responds before Mario finishes; “I just have no soul to take over! Every employee is mandated to offer theirs to the DEPOT as soon as they start work.”
“Ok…” Luigi isn’t sure what to think about this.
“In any case, I’m going to be taking my leave now.”
“Isn’t it your job to retrieve the belt?”
“Nah, that’s like the third time this week. He’s going to renovate for a while, and then his soul will be consumed.”
With those words, the employee leaves, leaving Mario and Luigi as the only people standing between Bob and total renovation. Although seeing his chances, Bob decided to turn back while they were occupied by the employee.
“Where do you think you’re going?!” Mario shouts, before going after him. Luigi joins him as well, and after a brief chase, they manage to trap him in an alley, with each standing on one side.
“Listen, we don’t want to fight.” Luigi attempts the diplomatic approach; “Just give us the belt back, and-“
“And what?” Bob is having none of that; “Ruin my one shot at salvation through renovation? Hell no!”
“You don’t understand!” Luigi pleads, “The belt is dangerous! You need to take it off, for your own good!”
“Dangerous? If you keep trying to interfere with my mission, you’ll be the ones in danger!”
“Give it back.” Mario is unfazed by the threat; “Final warning.”
“If you want it…”
Bob reaches into the toolbelt and pulls out a saw.
“…Then you’ll have to take it.”
“Bring it on, asshole!” Mario is clearly eager to fight: for Bob’s life… And for his toilet back home.
“Wait…” Luigi is slightly confused; “Your hands are already swords, why do you need- WAH!”
Bob interrupts him by attacking with his saw, which Luigi barely manages to dodge.
Soon after, he is joined by his brother, and they stand side by side against Bob. They both briefly look around, before arming themselves with whatever they could find on the nearby shelf. Mario takes a shovel, and Luigi grabs a nail gun.
Luigi starts by shooting the nail gun at Bob a few times, but he grabs a wooden plank from the shelves and blocks every one of them, before running to engage. He goes for Luigi with his saw, but Mario blocks with the shovel, before pushing him back and engaging. He actually does decently well in pushing Bob back with constant attacks with his shovel… Until it gets caught in another clash, when Bob just cuts the wooden handle in half, leaving Mario defenseless, and knocks him to the ground with a quick kick. Just as Bob tries to deal a finishing blow, a few more nails fly towards him from the side: Luigi. Bob raises his shield and retreats to another alley.
“You okay, bro?” Luigi asks, helping Mario get up.
“What alley did he run off to?” Mario seemingly ignores his brother to ask another question. “We need to go after him!”
Luigi doesn’t know either, so they look at the sign above it. As for what’s written on it…
Heating/Cooling Systems
The sign looks almost foreboding as the bros go into the alley. The quickly find Bob, standing with his back turned towards them… And run to engage. Mario grabs a fan blade as a replacement weapon while Luigi sticks with the nail gun.
Luigi shoots a few nails towards Bob’s belt… But then he turns around, revealing he’s holding a fan with clear signs of tampering. He turns it on… And pretty much causes a hurricane. The nails that were just flying towards him were redirected back at Luigi (and missed) while the bros are now struggling to even stay on the ground.
“What IS that thing?!”
“You like it? I renovated it myself!”
“Bob, this is madness! You need to stop it before your soul is consumed!”
Bob ignores him and turns the thing up even further, causing them even more difficulties, and even making some other appliances fly off the shelves. The bros are now constantly pelted with thermostats, fan blades, vent covers, and more… But still keep going. Until…
“Mario! Look out!”
“What did you sa-“ Mario starts, before catching a brief glimpse of a massive AC unit flying straight towards his face.
“Oh shi-“
(BONK)
Mario gets knocked back and out of the alley. Luigi follows shortly, after getting into a very close relationship with an electric fireplace. In fact, he follows Mario so closely that he flies right into him just as he gets up.
“Luigi?”
“Mom? When will it be my turn on the Xbox? Mario has been playing for-“
“LUIGI!”
“Huh?”
Luigi snaps back to reality and returns to Home Depot… Or, more accurately, on top of Mario in the lighting alley.
“Mario?”
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
“Oh, right.” Luigi quickly does as instructed. “Sorry Mario.”
“…So what now?” Mario asks.
“We need to stop him… But I have no idea how to do that.”
“Hold on.” Mario puts his hands on his head. “HNNNNNNNN…”
“What are you doing?”
“Be quiet, I’m trying to activate my second brain cell!” Mario answers, before getting back to it.
“Uhh…”
“I got it!” Mario yells, having suddenly snapped out of his trance. “What we need to do is-“
***
A few moments later
Mario and Luigi mount another assault on Bob’s alley, but this time, they’ve got a plan. They stop before Bob can notice them.
“Is the thing ready?” Mario asks.
“I think so.”
“Well then, let’s do this!”
They both jump out of hiding. Bob is not amused.
“Back so soon? Well, I guess I can just blow you again!”
“Now, Luigi! Turn it on!”
Luigi then grabs a reflector contraption out of nowhere and turns it on, flooding the alley with light and blinding Bob.
“Augh! My eyes! I can’t see shit!”
“Alright guys, let’s do this!” with that, Mario breaks into a run; “LEEEROOOY, JEEEEEENKINS!”
The reflector eventually runs out of power and Bob regains his eyesight… But the first thing he sees is Mario going to punch him in the face.
“OH SHI-“
(SMACK)
The punch connects and Bob gets thrown back, dropping his fan. Mario tries to follow up and slash at the belt with his fan blade, but Bob rolls out of the way at the last second and pulls a pickaxe out of the belt, before trying to retaliate. Mario blocks the attack and they briefly clash, but there’s someone Bob forgot about…
“Hey!” Luigi shouts from further into the alley.
Bob turns to look at him, and notices him holding an AC unit.
“Say hello to my little friend!” He says as he turns it on.
Mario quickly disengages from the duel, but Bob gets hit by a wave of cold air, blowing him away. Knowing he’s on a losing position, he crawls below one of the shelves into a different alley.
“We need to follow him!”
“Right behind you, Mario!”
They jump over the shelf and into the alley Bob escaped to… The Kitchen Appliances alley. They were trying to cut him off before he renovates anything else… But they quickly realize they were too late: Bob has already set up a new device of destruction… Or devices. He’s got two of them, mounted on his arms: one being a hand mixer with screwdrivers attached, and the other being a toaster with something that resembles an ammo feed full of utensils. Without a word, he turns on the latter, causing a storm of utensils to fly out of the toaster and towards the bros.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” Mario assures Luigi before facing the barrage head on and spinning his fan blade in front of himself.
“Mario? What are you doing?”
“I saw something like this in Boopkins’ anime once! I’m going to block all of them with this blade!”
It actually starts out okay… But then the blade breaks and Mario gets hit. Repeatedly. Eventually, Bob has to reload and the barrage stops. Luigi uses this opportunity to drag Mario to cover behind an oven, and starts retaliating with his nail gun, aiming at Bob’s toolbelt. That makes Bob retreat into cover as well, and they engage in a shootout. In order to break the stalemate, he throws a microwave at Luigi’s position. A microwave with a fork inside of it. Luigi jumps out of cover moments before it explodes. Luigi can only looks as another barrage of utensils heads his way… But that’s when Mario shows up, holding a blender. He catches all of Bob’s projectiles inside of it and throws it away, before pulling out a comically large spoon and rushing at Bob, who holds up his ‘Mix Driver’ to defend himself. Once again, they engage in melee combat.
Meanwhile, in a nearby alley, SMG4 is walking through the store, looking for something. He decides to go into the Kitchen Appliances alley… And sees Bob, trying to stab Mario with screwdrivers mounted on a mixer, while the latter defends himself with a giant spoon.
“Okie dokie…” he decides that whatever he was looking for here isn’t that important after all, and retreats slowly.
Mario meanwhile manages to push Bob away, giving Luigi a chance to shoot his nail gun. He aims at the belt, but Bob puts up his Mix Driver to defend at the last second, and the nail hits that instead, breaking the weapon. Once he realizes that his Toast Cannon is out of ammo as well, he decides to retreat into yet another alley, by turning on an oven and using the warm air it creates to fly above the shelf.
“Where is he going this time?” Mario asks.
“I think that’s the Outdoor alley?”
“Well then, this is going to be easy! I mean what can you even make out of lawn chairs and fertilizer?”
Mario jumps above the shelf, and Luigi follows after him… Only for both of them to be met by a barrage of tennis balls from Bob’s newest death machine: a riding lawn mower, with tennis ball launchers attached on each side, and the driver’s seat protected by a bunch of lawn chairs and grill grates. They are, of course, forced to retreat into cover, and they find some behind a Convenient Hiding BoxTM.
“You can run but you can’t hide! Just you wait until my Death Mower gets there!” Bob threatens. However, unfortunately for him, the ‘Death Mower’ is painfully slow.
“Just you wait.”
Meanwhile, behind the box, Mario and Luigi are trying to come up with a plan.
“Is there anything we can use to stop him?” Mario asks his brother as the latter searches through the shelf behind the box.
“Well… We’ve got some lawn chairs… And a few bags of fertilizer… But I think that’s it.”
Mario’s will to live straight up vanishes.
“Looks like-a Mario is fucked.”
***
A few minutes later
Bob’s Death Mower has almost reached the Convenient Hiding BoxTM. It seems like this is the end of the line for the Mario Bros… But they’ve got a plan.
“You ready, Luigi?”
“I think…”
“Well then, let’s go!”
Mario pushes Luigi out of cover. Bob immediately starts firing more tennis balls… But Luigi is wearing an armor suit made out of lawn chairs, which protects him from most of the damage. That’s when Mario jumps on the box and throws a bag of fertilizer at the death machine. Some of it falls under the hood and into the engine, causing it to overheat and catch on fire.
“Man, something smells good…” Bob is oblivious to the danger he’s currently in. The belt only made him more adept with tools, not smarter.
“…Oh shit!”
But even he eventually notices a massive cloud of smoke and fire blocking his view. He quickly jumps out of the Death Mower before it explodes. He gets stared down by both Mario bros…
“Holy crap, a giant plate of spaghetti!” He shouts, in a desperate attempt to distract them.
Mario falls for it, but Luigi…
“What?”
Instead, Bob just kicks Luigi in the balls and retreats into yet another alley. Mario meanwhile realizes that the giant plate of spaghetti never existed.
“…Did he just lie to me?” Mario feels betrayed by that revelation; “Come on, Luigi, we need to get him.” However, that feeling of betrayal is quickly replaced by anger; “Now it’s personal.”
After a few moment, Luigi finally manages to get up and they follow Bob to yet another alley: the Bathroom Appliances one. They go in… And see Bob sitting on a shelf.
“You lied to me! Prepare your ass!” Mario shouts towards him. He doesn’t seem too threatened by that, though…
“No… You prepare your ass!”
Suddenly, the entire shelf starts shaking… And getting up? No, it’s only some of the things on it. Bob has built a mech suit out of bathroom appliances. It’s mostly made out of pipes, but it also has a shower head on one of its arms. The Mario bros can only watch as the mech forms itself completely and Bob gets into its toilet cockpit.
“Say hello to my little friend!” Bob’s amplified voice rings out from the mech as it primes the shower cannon.
Mario and Luigi quickly jump to the sides as the shower head fires… A laser blast.
“This power…” Luigi has every reason to be surprised; “The belt is even more powerful than we thought!”
“Stop looking at it like that and start thinking how to defeat him! Mario can’t do that on his own!”
Luigi snaps out of it before the mech fires some more shower blasts. Mario attempts to jump it from above… But it raises its other arm and fires a bottle of bleach out of it, which explodes in Mario’s face, knocking him back and setting him on fire.
“Mario!” Luigi quickly turns towards his brother; You okay?”
“MY EYES! THEY’RE BURNING! I CAN’T SEE SHIT!”
“This is bad…” Luigi is frantically looking for a solution to this problem; “I got it!”
He runs away for a few seconds… Before returning with a bucket of water and dumping it all on Mario. It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect… But Mario gets better anyway. Not for long, though. The mech punches him into the floor as soon as Luigi takes a few steps away, making a hole.
“OH COME ON!” Mario shouts from inside the hole.
The mech responds by firing another bottle of bleach into the hole.
“OH SHI-“
(BOOM)
A few moments later, Mario has recovered, and is currently dodging Bob’s attacks along with Luigi. The latter tries shooting some nails at the robot… To no effect.
“Haha! Did you really think you could do anything with that?” Bob taunts the bros from the safety of his cockpit; “I built this battlesuit myself, it has no weaknesses!”
“JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!” Mario retorts, not very cleverly.
Bob’s answer? The mech starts extending another shower head from its left arm… And then combines it with the one on the right and starts charging.
“Oh no.”
“Imma firin’ mah lazor!”
(BZOOM)
“Seriously?! That meme died ten years agoOHHHHH-“
Mario’s rant gets interrupted by a massive laser blast, which engulfs him completely. Being Mario, however, he survives and gets up as soon as the mech stops firing.
Mario and Luigi are still fighting, avoiding the mech’s punches, shower lasers and bleach grenades. However, they can’t seem to find an opening. That is, until Luigi notices something when the mech starts charging its Super Laser again…
“Mario!” He calls out to his brother; “I think I got it!”
“Got what?!”
“When he charges, something seems to open on his back! We need to shoot a nail in there!”
“Well then, what are you waiting for?!”
“It’s no use, he’s focused on me right now! But you can do it! Catch!”
With that, Luigi throws the nail gun to Mario, who manages to catch the thing.
“Alright, so what exactly do I have to do?” Mario asks.
“Fire a nail at his back, but don’t run behind him! He’ll quickly know what’s up!”
“Well then, how am I supposed to do that?!”
“See that washing machine further down the alley?” Luigi points behind the mech, and sure enough, there’s a washing machine; “You need to bounce the nail off of it!”
“Yeah, but how?!”
“It’s not that hard, you just need to account for gravity! And air resistance. And the angle at which-“
(BZOOM)
While trying to explain, Luigi forgot about the Super Laser Bob was charging at him, which led to him taking the full force of the attack now.
“What?” Mario seems oblivious to the attack, though, focused on the rest of the explanation over his brother’s safety. Needless to say, he’s not getting it anytime soon.
“Alright Mario, you can do this!” he assures himself; “Just shoot at the washing machine!” he raises the nail gun to shoot… “Alright, here we go!”
He pulls the trigger. The nail flies towards the washing machine… But it misses it completely.
“Nice job, dumbass!” Bob taunts him. He then moves the mech to grab him, and despite Mario’s best efforts, succeeds and raises him up; “You had one shot, and you wasted it!”
He starts charging the laser on his other hand.
However, neither of them knows that while the nail missed, it kept going. It flew into a pipe further down the alley, got redirected into the lighting alley, hit a lightbulb causing it to explode, which sent it even further and down the cleaning supplies alley, went inside a vacuum cleaner, which somehow turned on and spat it out into the bedroom alley, bounced on a mattress… And by some miracle, flew into the weak point on the mech’s back.
“Shit.” Bob says with resignation, right before the mech spontaneously explodes, throwing Mario and Bob into the air. As Bob lands, the All-Purpose Toolbelt slips off of him and lands next to Luigi. Bob loses his consciousness.
That’s also when Luigi wakes up, having somehow survived the Super Laser as well. He takes a look around and picks the belt up.
“…Mario? Did you take him down?”
“I did?!” Mario is just as surprised.
“I think so. The mech is gone,” Luigi picks up the toolbelt; “and the belt is right here.”
“Great, now let’s put it back and go look for more tools.”
Luigi looks at him, looking slightly surprised.
“Put it back? Why would we do that?”
“Bro? Are you alright?”
“Do you have any idea what we could do with this kind of power?”
“Bro?” Mario is getting more and more distressed with every world Luigi says.
“We could fix not only our toilet, but every toilet in the entire world! Nobody would ever have to worry about breaking it ever again! We’d be heroes of civilization!”
“Now, I think Mario knows where this is going… And he doesn’t like it.”
“Sorry Mario.” Luigi says, as he prepares to put the belt on; “But it doesn’t matter whether you like it or not.”
“Luigi no!” Mario notices what’s up, and starts running towards Luigi, hoping to stop him from putting the belt on… But he’s too late. Mario gets blown back by a shockwave it causes from connecting with Luigi, whose eyes also turn orange.
“Luigi yes!” he shouts while pulling two flamethrowers out of the belt. He also pulls out a welder and grabs a couple of pipes from the robot’s remains, and then joins it all together to make a jetpack, which he uses to rise up.
“Luigi, I know you just want to do your job, but this is madness!” Mario pleads while getting up.
“My job?! No… It’s not about job. It’s just like you said… It’s about our duty!”
“I don’t want to have anything to do with this ‘duty’! If you’re not going to listen to me…” Mario pulls out his nail gun, determined to end this once and for all; “I’m going to have to stop you.”
“You will try.” Luigi pulls a flashlight and a screwdriver out of the belt and tampers with the former, turning it into a laser blaster. He then mounts it on his arm.
Mario takes the initiative and runs forward. Luigi tries to stop him with his lasers, but Mario manages to avoid every attack and shoots a burst of nails at his brother’s jetpack. Luigi could dodge it… But decides to vaporize the nails with a laser blast instead. He keeps shooting at Mario who rolls to the side and tries to fire some more nails… But nothing happens. Out of ammo. Mario throws the gun at Luigi. He just flies to the side and fires another burst of laser blasts. Mario starts running, looking for some way to get to Luigi… But then he gets an idea. They’re still in the bathroom alley, aren’t they? That means that there’s gotta be… Yes! There ARE mirrors in here! Mario just needs to get to one, and then he’d just be able to bounce Luigi’s blasts right back!
However, Luigi realizes what Mario is planning. That’s why he pulls some wires, a piece of plastic, some sugar and a hammer out of the belt and makes a bomb out of them (somehow…), which he throws at the mirrors Mario’s running towards, completely breaking them. Mario needs to come up with another plan… And fast. Before Luigi… Wait, what is he doing? He flies up to the ceiling and fires a laser blast at it, getting to the roof. Mario looks around for a way up… And realizes that his only option are the stairs. Lots of stairs.
“Ahh… Piss.”
***
Home Depot roof
10 minutes later
Mario finally makes it to the roof, but the long run tired him out. A lot.
“Finally…” he stops to take a breath; “Finally made it… Now… Give… Belt… Luigi…”
Luigi doesn’t seem like he wants to fight, at least not directly. He’s standing in front of what looks to be a radar contraption.
“Wait… What’s that?” Mario asks.
“It’s the control station for the laser satellite I built.”
“Laser satellite?!” Mario is so shocked he almost forgets about his exhaustion; “What are you planning to do with that?!”
“See, our fight made me think about some things. Now I realize that people won’t be willing to accept my plans of total renovation, even if it’s for their own good. That is why… I’m going to use that satellite to destroy the entire country.”
“That’s crazy! What’s going to happen to all the toilets you wanted to fix?!”
“I’m going to rebuild it! Everything! Once it’s done, I’ll renovate the entire nation out of the ashes, and shape it anew! A nation where no toilet is ever broken! A NATION OF- What are you doing?“
While Luigi was busy giving his speech, Mario was getting closer and closer to his brother… And now he managed to remove the belt, without him ever noticing. Luigi’s eyes change back to their natural color, and he gets hit with the realization of what’s about to happen.
“We need to get out of here.”
“Huh?”
“We need to get out of here! I set that laser up so that the first shot will hit this Home Depot, and there’s no way to stop it now!”
“But how are we supposed to escape?! Mario’s not setting foot on those stairs ever again!”
Luigi takes a look around… And notices the jetpack he discarded. He puts it back on.
“Mario.” Luigi turns to his brother and reaches his hand out to him; “Hold my hand.”
“That’s kinda ga-“
“I’ve got a jetpack! I can use it to carry us back down safely!”
“Oh. Okay.”
Mario does as instructed and Luigi turns the jetpack on. They lift off and start going towards the edge of the roof… But as soon as they reach it, they just plummet down to ground level because of Mario’s weight. They are still mostly fine, but the jetpack is unusable. They quickly get up and run away, while a massive laser pierces through the sky and strikes the building behind them. Once they turn around, there’s nothing left of it.
“Mario?” Luigi starts, with relief in his voice.
“What is it?”
“I wanted to thank you. You know, for stopping me.”
“No big deal. I mean, who would make me spaghetti if you went off to fix every toilet in the country?
“I… Never mi-“
“Besides…” Mario continues, walking closer to Luigi; “You’re my brother. I may not know many things… But I know that I don’t want to lose you. Especially not to some stupid belt.”
“Mario…”
The brothers hug each other. After everything that happened today, it’s only natural for them to do so. Once they’re done, though… Luigi gets hit with a certain realization…
“Mario?”
“What is it?”
“Our toilet supplies were in that shop. We’re back to where we started.”
Silence.
“…Mamafu-“