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Dick breathed out a deep sigh of relief, watching his team from afar. A huge proud smile appeared on his face, seeing how they came together, defeated the threat and saved the city like they’ve done so many times in the past. Slade was dead. CADMUS was gone, for now at least. They’re gonna have to look deeper into this and get rid of them completely, but that was a problem for another day. For now he just wanted to stand there and enjoy the moment.
People around them started cheering. Clapping. Thanking them. The look of surprise on everyone’s faces was truly priceless and for a second Dick wished he had Donna’s camera with him and her skills to capture this moment. Conner’s utter confusion at, well, pretty much everything around him. Kory’s tense and a bit awkward smile, her hands nervously fidgeting with gold rings on her fingers. Gar’s contagious grin and Rachel’s adorable giggle, their eyes shining like stars in the clear night sky.
The mix of emotions on the faces of the original Titans was more complicated. Donna’s brow furrowed, like she wasn’t sure what it was all about, before her eyes grew wide when she finally realized what was going on and responded with a shy smile, her hands unconsciously smoothing down the red leather of her Wonder Girl suit. Hank’s face wasn’t really readable due to his cowl covering most of it, but his mouth hung slightly open while he was looking around. Dawn did the same, her smile growing every time she met someone’s eyes. They seemed like they were mostly surprised not by the people's reaction in itself, but the fact that it was directed at them.
Dick’s own smile faded and he looked away. Yeah, they acted as a team, just like they used to, but now that the danger was gone, they were back to square one. What happened tonight didn’t instantly erase everything from the last week. He still lied. They still left him. All of that still hung in the air and now seeing this perfect picture he wasn’t sure where did he fit into all of this, that’s why he remained away, close but out of sight.
Not to mention he felt hurt. He didn't allow himself to feel that before, being convinced the way he was treated by them was what he deserved, but Jericho being alive flipped everything upside down and now Dick couldn't help but feel betrayed and abandoned by his friends. There was a spark of anger in him too and he was doing everything he could to not let it turn into a raging fire.
Cheering abruptly turned into screams of panic and that combined with sudden commotion around him snapped Dick out of his thoughts. His gaze went back to his team and scanned the surroundings. And when he noticed what caused the sudden change, his blood turned to ice, the chestplate of his new suit suddenly feeling too tight.
The electric pole was about to fall down. And Dawn was standing right under it.
He acted instinctively, leaping forward with her name on his lips, urging her to move. His body knew what to do even before his mind registered his intention. He moved swiftly through the crowd, people flowing over him like water, his eyes locked on the white feathers of her Dove wings.
Everything happened so fast.
He knew he pushed her away. He got there just in time to shove her to the ground, using all the strength he had in his body and momentum of his sprint. But then he was pushed down, crushed by a heavy, slick from water metal construction and from that moment the only thing he felt was pain. He wanted to scream, twist and turn but it was like he was muted, all the outside sounds and sensations abruptly cut off. It was endless, never ending agony. The last thing his mind registered was that the fire he felt rampaging through his veins was electricity before everything turned black and the world faded away.
For Rachel the time slowed down.
One minute people around them were clapping and cheering, smiling at their little group of mismatched heroes in gratitude. She and Gar traded smiles and Rachel felt that painful tightness in her chest she had since her nightmare slowly dissolving into nothing. For the first time in quite a while she felt like everything’s gonna be okay.
How incredibly foolish of her.
Because the next thing she knew people were running away in panic, crashing and bumping into each other blindly while snaps and cracks of electricity could be heard above all the noise. The electric pole was swaying dangerously, its metal construction creaking. Nothing could stop the fall.
She didn't even notice Dawn was standing directly under it until she heard her name being shouted somewhere in the crowd. Rachel's heart leaped in her chest when she recognized the voice - Dick. She was looking for him before, her eyes scanning the crowd. Now she turned just in time to see him run into Dawn and push her out of the way.
She wished she hadn't.
"NO!" she screamed so loud she felt her vocal cords almost snapping, but her voice drowned in the sound of metal collapsing onto the wet pavement, crushing Dick under it. White and blue lightings of electricity were jumping around, clouds of sparks blowing everywhere. Rachel was staring at all of it, wide eyed and unblinking, because there was no way this could be possible. Dick got out, right? He escaped just in time, he's gonna walk out from behind one of the stalls when it's safe to move closer and check if everyone's okay, like he always does. He has to, there's no other-
She saw his hand.
Sticking from under a giant piece of metal, gloved fingers curled on the pavement, twitching in spasms, splashing the puddle of water around. It lasted maybe three seconds before the hand stopped moving completely, dropping flat on the ground like a ragdoll cut from strings.
No.
No.
This couldn't be.
Her nightmare. It- it wasn't like that. She saw blood. A sharp blade sticking out of his chest. Deathstroke standing behind him. But Deathstroke was gone. He was dead and Dick was here, he was back and suited up and it wasn't supposed to be like this.
You must prepare to make a great sacrifice or suffer a great loss.
Ever since she heard those words from that girl Dani, Rachel thought it must be one or the other. Now she realized there might be no room for a choice here.
She moved. Took a step closer, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. She needed to know. She was afraid to know. The view became blurry from the tears she was refusing to shed.
A warm hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her. Rachel turned around and was met with Kory's terrified eyes. The woman was trying to appear calm but from the way she was clenching her jaw Rachel knew she was keeping herself from screaming as well. She shook her head slowly and squeezed her shoulder in a failed attempt of comfort and Rachel bit her lower lip to stop the trembling.
In the meantime the Titans sprung into action.
Conner lifted the pole like it weighed nothing, letting electric sparks jump over his arms and burn holes in his t-shirt without hurting him. Donna rushed forward and ducked under the metal. Rachel had to put her hands over her mouth to stop herself from screaming again when she saw Dick's limp body twisted in unnatural angles. Wonder Girl pulled him out from under the constitution as carefully as she could, then fell to her knees on the wet pavement and rested him against her, his back on her lap and his head propped on her stomach. A curtain of long black hair covered her face when she leaned over him so Rachel couldn't see her expression, but Donna's hands were shaking. Suddenly she pulled back with a gasp.
"He's not breathing." she whispered, then looked up at them with panic in her eyes and repeated louder. "He's not breathing!"
Rachel sprung forward but Kory stopped her again, pulling her back by the shoulders.
"Don't." she ordered shortly, her voice choked up. She kept her hands on her shoulders, grounding her. Gar came closer to stand on her other side, pale as ghost and shaking like a leaf on the wind and all three of them stood there frozen and watched.
Hank and Dawn gathered around Dick. Hank took off the chestplate of Dick's new suit and started chest compressions but Dawn stopped him when a trickle of blood fell from the side of Dick's mouth. His head rolled in Donna's hands and the brunette let out a strangled sob.
"It's too late. He's- he's-"
Dead.
It was like someone cut her off oxygen. Rachel's knees buckled under her and Kory had to dig her nails into her skin to keep her from falling. But she didn't feel that pain. She didn't feel anything except for excruciating agony ripping her apart from the inside. Slowly, gradually, rising in strength and volume like it was some kind of sick torture.
He's dead.
No. No, no, no. Just no.
Rachel ripped herself away from Kory and rushed forward. She could barely see through the tears when she pushed Hank out of the way and fell next to Dick. Her knees hit the ground so hard it will surely leave bruises but Rachel didn't care. That one word, no, was playing on the loop in her mind and she only half registered from the looks everyone was giving her that she was actually mumbling it aloud. Her throat was closed, she was choking on her own breath. She grabbed his hand, lifted it from the ground and clasped it in between both of her own, then closed her eyes.
Nothing.
"Dick, please." she started sobbing, pressing his glowed fingers to her mouth. "Please, please. You can't- you can't leave me."
Fate must love hypocrisy. Rachel herself walked out on him just a few days ago and now she was the one begging him to stay. She would laugh if she wasn't so heartbroken.
Dawn knelt next to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, gently pulling her away.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel." she said, her voice on the verge of breaking. "But there's nothing we can do."
Rachel stilled when a sudden thought crossed her mind.
Because there is.
She turned her head slowly and looked the blonde in the eye.
"I can. I can fix him."
She noticed how the Titans exchanged hesitant glances but made no move to stop her. Then she turned back and locked eyes with Kory. The woman hesitated at first but then looked down at her hand, fingers brushing over the place where one of Deathstroke's bullets pierced her skin. Where that skin was now as smooth as ever, not even a shadow of a wound visible thanks to Rachel's healing touch. She pressed her lips into a thin line, brows furrowing but then her eyes went back to the girl's face and Kory nodded.
Rachel took a deep, trembling breath and nodded back. Then she focused back on Dick, staring at his pale face, eyes closed under the mask. In her mind she replaced that horrific image with one much more alive - his warm brown eyes sparkling with pride whenever he's looking at her, his soft smile, his gentle touch and the feeling of his arms around her, his laugh when he's joking with Gar, the snark in his voice when he's bickering with Jason over something stupid.
Rachel closed her eyes and rested her hands flat on his chest, right over his heart. She tried not to focus on the fact that she couldn't feel his heartbeat or that he wasn't breathing - instead she held onto the image in her head like a lifeline, letting it fuel her. Even through closed eyelids she saw the purple light coming from her glowing hands, brighter than ever before.
"Come back to me." she breathed out, letting last of her tears fall from her cheeks and splash on his chest. She felt the energy flowing through her, penetrating his skin and pores and filling his veins, coming straight to his heart. She gave it all she had, all her love and gratitude and sorrow and guilt. Heal, heal, heal , she commanded.
His heartbeat fluttered under her fingers, faint at first but growing stronger and steadier by the second. His chest moved when he took in a sharp breath, like he just came out from under the water. And then he shot up, eyes opened wide, gasping for air and Rachel sighed in relief.
At first Dick looked like he wasn't sure what happened, he glanced down on himself, pressed his hands to his chest as if feeling for his own heartbeat, then looked around at the smiling, relieved faces of his friends until his eyes stopped on her.
"Rachel…" he breathed out her name, smiling. She wanted to break down sobbing. "You-"
His smile turned into a frown and he reached out to her face. She expected him to brush away her tears and let out a choked up laugh but his finger swiped under her nose instead and revealed a smudged drop of scarlet blood on his glove. Rachel looked down at it in confusion then back into his eyes now filled with fear, but then her view became blurry, sounds were suddenly muffled like she was underwater and her head was about to explode. She only heard him shouting her name, hands reaching out to catch her before she hit the ground, unconscious.
Donna stood in the dim lit hallway with her hands on the infirmary door, peering through the narrow window. Her heart clenched painfully at the view of what was happening inside. Rachel lay unconscious in the hospital bed, her dark blue hair spread on the white pillow like a halo around her head. Dick was sitting by her side, facing the door, his hands clasped around hers, pressing her fingers to his mouth. His eyes were glued to her face, tired and glazed with tears, and if it wasn't for his shoulders trembling with each breath he took Donna would say he had turned to stone, he was so painfully still. Kory stood by his side, gently rubbing his shoulders in a comforting way, while Gar was sprawled out in an armchair by the window, napping. Seeing them all like this, gathered around Rachel holding a vigil, taking care of one another… it struck a familiar chord, Donna couldn't really find words to describe it. But it definitely felt special.
It's been two hours since they came back to the Tower and the girl still hasn't woken up. They've set her up in the infirmary and Dawn ran all the tests she could think of but apart from extreme exhaustion nothing seemed to be wrong with her, at least on the physical level. But Rachel wielded magic far beyond their grasp and she just brought Dick back to life with her touch alone, so whatever was happening to her right now might not be so simple or even medically explainable.
And that's what scared them all the most.
"Still nothing?" Hank asked quietly behind her and Donna had to fight the urge to flinch at the unexpected sound of his voice. Both he and Dawn were standing a few feet away from her, their faces twisted in concern.
"No." she replied, turning to face them fully. "She still hasn't woken up."
The blonde pressed her lips into a thin line and took a step towards the door.
"Maybe we should-"
Donna shook her head and stopped her, holding up her hand.
"I don't think it's a good idea." she said. "They… I'm not sure if they want us there."
Hank's and Dawn's gazes dropped down while she turned back to the window with a heavy heart. Kory was covering Gar with a blanket, while Dick was leaning over Rachel, whispering something to her while his fingers brushed her cheek with such gentleness that Donna choked on her breath.
"Yeah, no wonder why." Hank spoke after clearing his throat. He gazed into both women's eyes. "We… we kinda fucked up, didn't we?"
Donna's mind went back two hours earlier and she felt her insides twisting into knots. After Rachel was settled and all diagonstics were finished there was this pauze in everyone, a moment of reality crashing down on them. Dick locked his eyes with her for a moment, his back straight and jaw clenched, but when she tried to approach him he looked away and simply turned around to take his place at the girl's side. Gar and Kory moved simultaneously and it took Donna a moment to realize they were sort of forming a wall between Dick and the original Titans, almost shielding him. Kory's voice was gentle when she told them that they're gonna take it from here, but her eyes were throwing daggers. Dawn walked up to Gar, asking if she could check him up as well, but the boy curled in on himself and stepped away shaking his head, leaving her with her outstretched hand hanging in the air.
Dick didn't spare them another glance. That was their cue to leave the room and close the door.
Coming back to the present, Donna took a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I admit, we might have misjudged-"
"Misjudged?" Dawn interrupted her with a high, penetrating voice, making her flinch. "Donna, we walked out on him, not once but twice for something he didn't do! For something we were as much a part of as he was."
The bile forming in her throat was hard to swallow. Dawn was right, but there was so much more to it on Donna's part. Things they didn't know about. Things she had said and done. Things she had repressed for years to not feel an inch of guilt watching Dick spiralling down into a pit of darkness. She's been denying her own fault for so long she actually started to believe she was innocent. It took holding Dick's dead body in her arms, not feeling his heartbeat or breath for her to realize how bad she screwed up. And one look at her friends' faces told her she wasn't the only one who came to that same conclusion in that moment.
"I think it's time to face the facts." Hank stepped in with his hands in his pockets. He glanced through the window to the infirmary before speaking again. "We've blamed Dick for Jericho's death for years and when he told us the truth about what happened we acted like the worst assholes and left him because we didn't see it as anything else than a confirmation. But now the kid turned out to be alive, so… where does that leave us?"
Donna lifted her hand and massaged her brow. Her head was pounding.
"I don't know."
Something in her gut told her to turn around and when she did she noticed that Dick was watching them from his spot through the small window in the door. When their eyes met he took a deep breath, put Rachel's hand back on the bed and rose from his chair. For a moment he disappeared from her view but then the doorknob moved and he stepped out into the hallway.
He looked exhausted. He changed from his suit to some more comfortable clothes. He was standing and breathing but his face was as pale as when she pulled him out from under all that metal. His eyes were rimmed red and it suddenly hit Donna that it's been literal years since the last time she saw him crying. The sight was utterly heartbreaking.
For a few long and unbelievably awkward seconds no one said a word.
"How- how is she?" Donna asked when she finally gathered up the courage to speak. Dick didn't answer right away and she started thinking he wasn't going to but then he took a shaky breath and spoke quietly.
"Stable, but… her heart is beating slower than it should. Way slower. And I'm-" his voice cracked and he looked away, trying to get himself together. Donna wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and comfort him but she knew this would be the last thing he wanted right now. "What are you guys doing here? Something happened?"
Her heart thumped painfully in her ribcage. Of course he thought they were here because of some other emergency in the city, not for him. Because why would they, right? She shook her head and forced herself to give him a faint smile.
"No, no. Everything's fine. It's just… we wanted to talk to you and-"
"Now is really not a good time." he breathed out, running his fingers through his already messed up hair and started to turn around.
"We just wanted to apologize." Dawn rushed forward, stopping him. He waited but didn't face them. "We messed up. Big time. We shouldn't have put all the blame on you, or abandon you to deal with all of this alone. We shouldn't have done it five years ago and we sure as hell shouldn't have done it now. It took a toll on you and we didn't see that until recently."
"We're sorry, man." Hank added quietly.
Dick was very still and for a long moment no one even dared to breathe. And then he scoffed.
"What made you change your mind?" he asked, his tone low and bitter. Donna felt something shattering in her like glass. "Jericho being alive or me almost dying?"
"Both, I guess." she admitted quietly. "But it wasn't just that. And if Rachel didn't bring you back-"
"Yeah, but she did." he whipped around so fast all three of them instinctively took a step back. He pointed at the door while speaking, his voice sounding more gruff and brittle with each word. "She brought me back and now she's laying there unconscious while I'm tearing my hair out because there's another kid I took in and swore to protect, sacrificing their life for me!"
He had this wild look in his eyes and it was painful to watch. He was on the verge of a breaking point and they were part of the reason why.
Donna stepped forward and hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. A spark of hope appeared in her heart when she saw that her touch grounded him and helped him relax.
"I know it's hard for you." she spoke softly. "I understand-"
"No, you don't." he cut in, shaking his head. He couldn't meet her eyes. "You really don't."
"But she's gonna be okay." she continued, squeezing his shoulder. "You have to believe that."
He wasn't looking at her but from up close she saw the tears welling up in his eyes. He blinked a few times, sniffled and cleared his throat, then he stepped back, letting her hand slide from his shoulder and drop to her side.
"I appreciate it guys, I do." Dick said, finally looking back at their faces. "And we really need to talk about it, just… not now. So if you'll excuse me, my…" he paused and took a deep breath as if preparing himself for something. "My daughter needs me."
And with that he went back to the infirmary and shut the door behind him with a soft click, leaving all three of them in the hallway, speechless.
Daughter.
Of course.
Looking through the window again Donna finally found the word to describe what she saw - a family. She felt tears in her eyes watching Dick first walk up to Gar to ruffle the boy's hair and tuck the blanket under his chin, then drop back down in his seat next to Rachel and take her hand again. It brought back memories of her own father tucking her to bed and taking care of her when she was sick. She felt sick now as well remembering how she compared what was happening at the Tower to a summer camp, how she threw a term 'camp counselor' into Dick's face like an insult, not understanding at the time what he really was doing for these past few months.
He wasn't just a team leader, or a mentor.
He was a father now.
And one of his kids was currently chained to bed, possibly dying, while the other went through a trauma of brainwashing and torture.
"We should give them some privacy." she said, stepping away from the door. "I'm sure they will let us know if anything changes."
Hank and Dawn nodded in unison and headed to their own respective bedrooms. Donna lingered for a moment longer, watching Dick lean over Rachel and press his lips to the girl's brow, then rest his forehead against hers and squeeze his eyes shut as his shoulders trembled again. She wiped her tears away and smiled despite feeling like her soul might fall apart at any moment.
She always knew he'd be a great father someday. She just wished she didn't have to witness it in such a heartbreaking way.
Another hour passed before Rachel's consciousness started coming back.
First it was her heartbeat that slowly returned to normal. Then her hand twitched in his hold and a few minutes later she was turning her head, whimpering softly.
Kory and Gar gathered around the bed while Dick leaned over her, cupping her cheek in his hand.
"Rachel? I'm here." he told her, smiling through tears. "C'mon Rach, come back to me."
She turned her head at the sound of his voice and scrunched her eyebrows, struggling to open her eyes. Gar went to dim the lights in the room, figuring they might be too bright for her and now they were left only with a warm yellow glow of the bedside lamp Kory brought here from Gar's bedroom.
"Dick…" Rachel mumbled weakly and he almost broke down crying from relief that flooded his heart. Her lashes fluttered and her eyes finally focused on his face.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, choking on a sob.
"Shh, I'm here, honey." he whispered. "I'm right here."
Her arms wrapped around his neck and he pulled her up, crushing her desperately against his chest. Rachel melted into him, crying and he shifted on the bed so he could hold her better.
"Shhh, it's okay." he murmured, his lips brushing her ear. He started swaying her gently, his fingers running through her hair. "I'm okay."
"You were dead." she sobbed into his shoulder. His heart broke at how small and vulnerable her voice sounded.
"But you brought me back." he pulled away and took her face in his hands. Her cheeks were wet from tears so he started brushing them away. "You did it, Rach. See?" He pressed his lips to her forehead again. "You did it."
"And you scared the hell out of us by the way." Kory added with a smile, rubbing the girl's back comfortingly. "Both of you."
Rachel gave her a shy smile.
"Sorry." she said then looked back at Dick and that smile faded, replaced with heartbreak. "I shouldn't have left. I had a dream. I saw you dying. And I-"
"Shh, I know. Kory told me everything." he stopped her, tucking her hair behind her ear. He really didn't want to hear another apology tonight, besides Rachel was already forgiven anyway. "You don't need to apologize. I'm just glad you're okay." he turned to Gar and reached out with his hand. The boy took it gratefully and squeezed it tight. "That you both are okay."
For a moment all four of them just remained like that, holding onto each other and drawing strength from one another. Kory smoothed down Rachel's hair and pressed her cheek to the girl's head.
"How are you feeling, sweetheat?"
Rachel took a deep breath.
"I'm okay… just really tired."
"Yeah, resurrection must have taken a huge amount of power." Gar pointed out, giving her a crooked grin. She smiled back at him and nodded, then locked eyes with Dick, sensing it's gonna take more than that to convince him not to worry.
"I swear I'm fine."
He chuckled. She knew him too well.
"Maybe you should get some more sleep." he told her, already pushing her back down on her pillow. "It's the middle of the night, after all."
"Stay." she murmured when he tucked the white covers under her chin and his heart melted. He smiled softly and brushed her cheek with his thumb again.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." he dropped a kiss on her nose, making her giggle. "Sleep, baby girl."
"Okay." she replied and sank deeper into her pillow, closing her eyes. "Love you."
His heart skipped a beat.
It was the first time she ever told him that.
He didn't think…
"I love you, too, Rachel." he said, his voice heavy with emotion. He took her hand in his again and pressed her knuckles to his lips. "Rest now."
He didn't have to tell her twice. She was out like a light within seconds, leaving him with a quickened breath and racing heart.
"I, uh… I'm gonna go tell the others." Gar prompted and headed to the door.
"Bring more blankets on your way back!" Kory called after him. "And pillows!"
He showed her a thumbs up before disappearing in the hallway. Dick shot her a questioning look and Kory just shrugged.
"What? You're not leaving her side and neither do we. We're not leaving either of you."
He smiled at her, feeling unbelievably grateful.
"Thank you."
His thoughts went to Donna and the others for a moment because he just now realized there was a double meaning to Kory's words. We're not leaving you like they did - that's what she really meant.
Dick knew he needed to have that conversation with them. He was glad they came to him first. But right now he wanted to focus on Gar and Rachel, on making sure they're gonna be okay, something he should have been doing prior to all of this but he didn't. Not in the way he should have been. But he could make it all up to them now, one thing at the time.
Donna, Hank and Dawn could wait. He hasn't decided if he forgave them yet, he needed some time to think. Maybe he'll do that tomorrow, maybe in a week, maybe never. Who knows. Right now all he cared about was his daughter sleeping peacefully by his side, safe and sound and protected. For now, nothing else mattered.