Archive of Our Own

The clock strikes five, and the office becomes a little busy with people turning off their computers, sliding their chairs inwards, and ready to call it a day. Friday is the best day of the week for these people who sit in front of their computer screens for 9 hours.

Namjoon walks to Yoongi's cubicle with a smile on his face, his dimples emphasized. Yoongi looks at him with bored eyes - which is his usual look.

"You look more lively today, Joon," Yoongi says without looking at his officemate.

"Well, you look gloomier today, hyung. Mr. Kim with the broad shoulders would love to see you smile one day." Namjoon comments, his arms folded on Yoongi's cubicle wall.

Yoongi stops organizing his bin and looks at Namjoon straight in the eyes. The next moment, he gives him a gummy smile, an obnoxious one, then he's back in his usual apathetic look.

Dumbstricken, Namjoon blinks for a few seconds, "Why did you do that?..."

Yoongi shrugs his shoulders.

Their attention diverts to a tiny, shy voice at the entrance of Yoongi's cubicle. It was Jungkook bidding farewell.

"Uh, Jeon, wait!" Namjoon follows Jungkook, who is not too far off. "My friend just opened his food truck this afternoon, and we are going to visit his place. Please come join us."

"Is that the reason why you're being smiley today?" Yoongi intervenes from the back, his aura ready to go home.

It sure was the reason. Namjoon can't help but promote his friend's food truck which is just a ten-minute walk from the building.

"Hoseok, my good friend, offers many kinds of street food in his food truck like tteokkbokki-"

"Do they have ramyeon?" A familiar high-pitched voice asks.

"Yeah, he's got ram-" Namjoon stops mid-sentence upon registering who just asked about ramyeon.

It is none other than Kim Seokjin, the supervisor. "Why are you guys still here? And I can hear all the food talk from my cubicle. Tell me more." he says as he rests his hands on his hips.

With that, the four of them march their way to Hoseok's food truck. Jungkook seems sheepish at first but comes with them anyway.

Yoongi's officemates walk merrily in front of him, their voices inaudible as he starts to recognize the path they're taking. Everything seems to be very familiar.

The same concrete walkway.

The same lonely, cemented steps in between the same grassy slanted patches of soil.

The same river that stretches to the next city.

The same hue of the sky as the sun begins to set.

The same silhouette of the person he used to know from three years ago.

Memories of his past come crashing to him like a tidal wave. His heart begins to beat unusually faster, his airways constrict, making it harder to breathe. His mind plays a series of pictures of a man with a lovely smile, but sometimes turns into a cute pout, a couple of eyes that turn into crescent lines whenever he's laughing, complaining that he can't see anymore when he does, his tiny hands, his short fingers-

Yoongi's senses malfunction for a moment - a short moment where he can only see Jimin's features before him, where he can only hear his soft, angelic voice, where he can only smell his favorite baby cologne, where he can only feel his lingering touch, where he can only taste-

"Yoongi-hyung!" A far-off voice in front sends him back to reality. "We're almost there. I bet you're already hungry." Namjoon jokes as he gestures for Yoongi to keep up.

Yoongi just realized that he's a couple of meters away from his friends, and people are starting to stare at him as he stands, mind buzzing, and staring blankly at the river. He also noticed that the silhouette by the riverside is gone. Probably, it's all in his imagination.

The food truck comes to sight together with a jolly-looking man who's wearing a green apron and an equally happy young man beside him.

"Hoseokie~!" Namjoon's regularly stern voice becomes endearing all of a sudden, making Seokjin raise an eyebrow.

"Never saw Joon this lively outside of the office," Yoongi comments from the back, making Jungkook nod in agreement even though it's only his first day at work.

The guys learned that the food truck owner, Jung Hoseok, is Namjoon's childhood friend back in their hometown. His charismatic smile radiates a whole sunshine vibe and has a contagious jolly energy. His assistant, Kim Taehyung, also shares the same energy level and has a unique boxy smile.

After a moment of brief introductions, handshakes, and shy smiles, Yoongi's mind is at it again - floating onto a river of thoughts from three years back. He can hear chattering around him, clinks and clanks of chopsticks against each other and against ramen bowls, sizzling sound of food being prepared. He is aware of the things around him, but he is lost in his own musings.

"Hyung, is there something bothering you?" Jungkook asks as they walk their way home from the riverside. Yoongi looks at him with a hint of shock. He never thought that this new kid would be so observant. "You looked... distant." Jungkook's voice trails as he meets Yoongi's eyes.

Sigh.

"I never thought you'd be this nosy," Yoongi jokes, though his tone doesn't say so, for Jungkook apologizes quickly. Yoongi swats him immediately. "Don't be sorry. I was joking. I just had things on my mind."

"I bet you missed Namjoon-hyung's long story about him and Hoseok-hyung when they were kids and how Mr. Kim finished 2 large bowls of ramyeon." The young kid smiles as he reminisces what happened earlier by the food truck. Yoongi feels a bit guilty because Jungkook is right. He let his past eat him up that he forgot to live in the present. He let the thoughts of Jimin fill his head.

"I think Taehyung likes you." is all Yoongi can say since he was in a constant haze a few hours ago. Jungkook is taken aback by the older one's comment, making him blush.

Yoongi lets out a forced laugh just to make the air around them a little lighter, thinking the kid might grow awkward towards him. That should not happen since Jungkook will be his immediate assistant at work.

It has been three years since Yoongi last went to the riverside, and it was not a good memory at all.

***

"Yoongi, I'm going to Los Angeles." Jimin starts, his tiny fingers silently drumming on the metal surface of the railings. His voice is stern but slightly wavering.

"When?" Yoongi asks.

"In two days."

Silence.

Within those minutes of silence, Yoongi feels that something is behind Jimin's statements. He proves himself correct as Jimin begins to break the silence between them.

"I've thought of this thoroughly, and I think we should break up."

Another dead silence - a kind of silence that Yoongi wanted to end but words seem to fail him. All he can manage is to stare at Jimin in disbelief. His heartbeat quickens, and he finds it hard to breathe. His mind cannot process everything at the moment.

"What?" is the only word he manages to say after the deafening silence, his mind still racing and trying to keep up.

"Let's break up," Jimin repeats.

"Why?" Yoongi asks in exasperation, not believing what he just heard. His body rigidly straightens up from previously leaning over the railings.

Jimin sighs. "I don't want us to have a difficult time, Yoongi. I want this so bad." Jimin's voice starts to crack as he tries so hard not to break down.

Yoongi hasn't broken his stare from Jimin, but this time, he doesn't know what he should feel at the moment. All he knows is the feeling of a lump in his throat.

He knows how passionate Jimin is when it comes to dancing, but he doesn't know that he, himself, might be hindering Jimin's dream.

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." Yoongi is fully aware that one day, Jimin will pursue his dream in a different place. But being aware alone did not spare him from such heartbreak.

With that, Yoongi's life went back to what it was before - monotonous, cloudy, and blue - but worse.

Yoongi stopped playing the piano; he lost direction; he felt like a burden. He lost his passion for music and landed jobs he doesn't want.

***

It's been three years, and he just went to the riverside again with his new officemates from a new department he was assigned to.

It's been three years, but he still hasn't let go of his feelings. He still loves Jimin. Everything about the riverside reminds him of Jimin. And thinking that deserting the place for years will make him forget.

He was wrong.

He can't blame other people on why he finds himself staring at the same spot where Jimin used to lean by the railings and watch the sunset with him.

"I bet you love sunsets," Seokjin says as he stirs his bowl of pure ramyeon goodness.

Yoongi always gets caught staring at the sunset. Yes, he likes it, though they're partially wrong. He can see Jimin's silhouette in his head, watching the sundown too. Then he gets distracted, and when he returns to look at the riverside again, the shadow is gone.

"You should bring Jungkook here too sometimes. Tae would love that idea." Hoseok laughs as he heard Taehyung lets out a whiny "Hyung!" while serving Yoongi his lamb skewers.

As Yoongi gets his wallet, Hoseok stops him with, "It's on the house, hyung."

"Oh no, I ref-" Yoongi gets cut off by Taehyung yelling from behind.

"Just tell him you like him, Hoseok-hyung!"

Hoseok's ears turn tomato-red, but his bright smile doesn't leave his similarly red face.

"I'll deal with you later, Tiger," Hoseok says in gritted teeth.

Yoongi finds them hilarious and lets out a chuckle.

"You know what, hyung, you should smile more often."

"Because Hoseok-hyung likes it when you smile." Once again, Taehyung comments from the back.

"Enjoy your meal~," Hoseok tells Yoongi and storms off with a "Kim Taehyung!" and ready to beat the kid with a boxy smile into a pulp with tickles.

Yoongi can't help but smile at his lamb skewers. Thanks to his friends with such great personalities, he considers his life less dull compared to before.

"Hey, Jungkook," Namjoon's voice can be barely heard above the loud minus one in the background, "enjoying your first team night out?"

Jungkook turns his head to Namjoon and nods aggressively. The kid is not as shy anymore and looks more comfortable. Namjoon gives him a smile, emphasizing his dimples, and returns his attention to the person singing his heart out in front of the big television. He never knew their handsome supervisor, Kim Seokjin, can sing.

Namjoon's attention is diverted as he feels a shift on his right. Yoongi just rose from the sofa.

"Where you goin'?", Namjoon asks.

"Just outside," Yoongi replies.

"You still don't like loud places I see," Namjoon says more to himself than Yoongi. The both of them head out of the room.

Seokjin - or most likely known as Mr. Kim with broad shoulders arranged their occasional team night out on behalf of their manager. He loves karaoke, so he decided to rent a private karaoke place. Their room on the 4th floor is spacious enough to accommodate 22 people, and there is a lot of food and drinks offered to them - as Seokjin wanted. While he's busy belting at the center of the room, others are doing their own thing - some are still eating at the dining space, some seated by the mini counter while downing bottles of beer and some are just watching him with twinkles in their eyes, Jungkook having the largest pair. Outside the bustling karaoke room, just by the balcony, Namjoon and Yoongi have their own world.

"You looked at Mr. Kim differently. Care to share something?" Yoongi subtly jokes around, making Namjoon turn to him so fast he could've broken his neck.

"I was just watching, okay?" Namjoon is obviously flustered.

Yoongi snickers.

"I never really thought I'd see you here, hyung," Namjoon says as he feels the silence between him and Yoongi gets thicker. "Turns out you're just in a different department."

"I'm honestly shocked when I found out too." Yoongi replies, his eyes fixed on the distant city lights over the balcony. "I've been working for the other department for six months and transferred here just last month. How long have you been here, anyway?" He follows up a question.

"It's been a year..." Namjoon says quietly.

"So that's why you're so close with the supervisor." For the second time, Namjoon turns to Yoongi, so fast his neck just cracked. Thankfully his red ears and cheeks are not noticeable in the dark. Yoongi smiles as he feels Namjoon's unnecessary pulling from his coat sleeves.

Namjoon composes himself and faces Yoongi. "Enough about me, hyung. Hmm... how about you and Jimin?" He asks while he straights up the creases on his coat, eager to change the topic.

Silence.

Yoongi's quiet smile fades as the mention of Jimin's name felt like cold water splashed over him.

Of course, Namjoon knows Jimin way back in the university - that kind of college student who gives off a cool aura above his cutesy personality. That same person who would wait for Yoongi after class. Of course, Namjoon knows Jimin, and he's aware of their relationship then, but he lost communication with Yoongi after graduation.

"We parted ways three years ago."

Silence has occupied the balcony again, save for the dull noise from the karaoke room and the occasional faint zooming of cars from the street.

Yoongi hasn't spoken to anybody about his breakup with Jimin, but words seem to find their way out of Yoongi's mouth.

He doesn't blame Jimin for what happened, but he can't help but feel hurt. He knows what a dream is all about and what it feels like to have one, but he never thought it would end up like this.

But Jimin's happiness is Yoongi's happiness.

"Are you happy?" Namjoon looks at Yoongi straight in the eyes, curiosity, and concern painted on his face.

Yoongi stops thinking and also asks himself, is he happy?

The night is still young and the city is still alive, beaming with lights - lights that illuminate the sky.

Under that same sky, miles and miles away, Jimin's smile is as bright as day.

The blinding spotlight and deafening applause greet Jimin and his team after a sold-out show in one of the largest theatres in New York.

It is a spectacle to see - the great number of people cheering for them for a job well done, the satisfied smiles of the crowd they can't help but mirror, and the familiar dance of lights hovering over them together with the flying confetti and flowers thrown at their direction. Another successful tour has ended, and Jimin is nothing but relieved.

"Job well done, Jimin." A light pat on the shoulder made Jimin turn around. It's their team leader. Jimin shyly bows and says a little thank you.

"See you at the after-party." And with that, Jimin's team leader left. He lets out a big sigh, knowing that their previous performance concludes the tour.

Just like any other after-parties they had, the clubhouse is full of delicious varieties of dishes and drinks. The whole team disperses after a congratulatory message from their manager and team leader. Jimin finds himself sitting on a lone sofa by a large glass window, nursing a glass of champagne with his dainty fingers.

"Are you already certain with your decision, Jimin?" A familiar voice diverts Jimin's attention, it is his team leader.

"I am very much certain, Lee. I've thought about this a lot." Jimin smiles sadly. A pang of guilt hits him as the other gives him a light tap on the shoulder before retreating to the crowd. He should be happy for a successful show, Jimin thought, but he can't help but feel down.

With clenched fists, Jimin stands up and joins the merriment happening before him.

"I have something to say," Jimin starts, his voice loud enough to get the attention of those inside the clubhouse. "Here's to another successful show." - another show without him in the picture.

***

Jimin can hear his mother talking over the phone while his father is busy arranging papers over the dining table.

"Have you taken care of it?" Jimin's mother walks up to him, the phone still in her hand.

"Yes, mother." He can't help but feel furious about how his relationship with Yoongi would just be that simple to talk about being taken care of.

"This is it, Jimin. Your father and I worked hard on this ever since you enrolled yourself in that dance class back when you were in high school. You want this, right?" As usual, Jimin's mom would talk to him without even looking at him. She's always busy with her stuff without considering others - even her son.

"Yes, mother," Jimin repeats, still standing on that same spot by the living room. He's too weak to argue, his heart already crushed after breaking up with Yoongi that afternoon. He's tired.

"Don't let us down, son." She continues.

Jimin's father looks at him without saying anything, just smiles at him sadly. He gives his old man a pleading look that maybe there is a way to pull his mom's plan through without sacrificing his happiness. But it seems there's no other way as his father frowns as a reply.

Jimin finds himself crying inside the bathroom, the gravity of his decision - no, his mom's decision - draining him, but not his tears. His whimpers are too suppressed, leaving the sound of water gushing from the sink echo through the bathroom wall. Along with his drowned cries, his heart sinks to the bottom of its confinements.

***

As expected of him, Jimin successfully joined a group of professional dancers in L.A. after a year of training and started touring with them. Within those days of training, Jimin tried so hard to keep himself busy, hoping that somehow he might forget about Yoongi. Most of the time, it pays off, but sometimes he finds himself staring blankly ahead, his gaze would pierce through the window, right to the sky. Is Yoongi looking at the same sky, too? Jimin would think.

The ecstatic feeling of performing in front of diverse audiences with amazing people dies down slowly like that of the stage curtains concluding a show. It may not be obvious, but Jimin can't help but look at the crowd before him, hoping that a familiar face would be there, smiling that familiar gummy smile of his-

It was all wishful thinking, nothing but a feeling of reaching out onto something that isn't even there.

Being congratulated, complimented, and celebrated are things Jimin cannot get used to, knowing that he still has lots to learn and more room to grow. It brings him joy, nonetheless, who wouldn't? But everything is short-lived. Sometimes he finds himself staring at his phone - Yoongi's picture and his contact number visible on the screen. Jimin's longingness for Yoongi grows stronger every day, but he is afraid to reach him, to call him - he's afraid that Yoongi won't pick up, afraid that Yoongi has forgotten him, afraid that Yoongi doesn't love him anymore. Horrible thoughts occupy Jimin's mind most of the time, but he really can't blame Yoongi because it was his fault. He broke Yoongi's heart.

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." were Yoongi's last words that day by the riverbank. Amidst the confusing second thoughts, one thing is definite for Jimin. He's not happy. Not at all. It feels as if a part of him still remains in Seoul, and he can't seem to live on, broken. Without that missing piece, he's nothing.

With all those years, Jimin hopes that it isn't too late to be happy again, to feel something again aside from longing and sadness.

He's traveled a lot given the tours he had with the dance crew, but he can't hide his giddiness as the plane just landed in Incheon.

Relief washes over Jimin upon stepping off the plane, but he can't help but feel nervous at the same time. Three years is such a long time being away from his home, and within those years, things have changed a lot. Jimin notices that the stores aren't the same in the airport, the furniture, and miscellaneous designs too. A new flashy store selling plushies of different colors, shapes, and sizes has replaced a pastry shop that sells cinnamon bread before. He may not have memorized every nook and cranny of the airport, but Jimin realizes that change sure is evident. The only thing that stayed the same is the bustling movements of people, the coming and going of crowds with their luggage, too busy to mind others' business. After all, some things don't change.

The cab ride to the hotel isn't as dull as Jimin thought it would be. His face is almost against the window as he watches the view outside pass by in a blur each time the cab accelerates. Jimin asks the driver if he can let the windows down, much to his surprise, the driver says yes. He let the wind touch his face and ruffle his hair, its smell brings back memories of Seoul, the good and the bad.

Jimin slumps on the bed the moment he arrived in his hotel room. He finds it unusual to feel like a stranger in his homeland - almost everything feels new and different as if navigating a room with eyes closed. Despite the racing thoughts in his exhausted mind, Jimin tries to calm himself. He has to start anew, and things might get rough. But it won't hurt to take the first step, will it?

Past the window is the vast cityscape of Seoul. Jimin can't help but think that somewhere out there, Yoongi is doing his thing, but how he hopes he's thinking of him too. With tired hands, Jimin opens the door to the balcony, the wind once again welcomes him. Jimin mindlessly reaches out in the void, Yoongi still in his mind - he's so close, yet so far.

It doesn't matter.

He just wanted to see Yoongi again, if that's even possible.

Jimin started visiting the riverbank daily ever since that day. He hopefully waits for Yoongi by their favorite spot until sunset. Guilt still eats on Jimin's soul every time he thinks that he tainted that very spot where his love for Yoongi bloomed - the same spot Yoongi returned his love. He comes back every day with hope, but one particular day seems to drain all that hope away.

The sky is full of dark grey clouds, looming over the city. The riverbank is deserted save for those who pass by. Jimin doesn't like the vibe he's getting. He's feeling sadder and hopeless as time ticks away. The wind seems colder, and after a while, rain starts pouring, and Jimin loses it.

Yoongi must have forgotten him, Jimin thought. It is foolish of him to believe that everything would be like those days where he will find Yoongi waiting for him by the riverbank.

Things change.

People change.

Yoongi might've changed.

Jimin feels weak and finds himself crouched down, wishing the rain would wash away all the horrible thoughts in his mind, but it looks like that's not the case. Silent tears crawl down his face, unrecognizable from the rain pouring down on him.

After fighting against himself whether to cook or not, Yoongi decides to treat himself to a home-cooked meal. It's been a while since he last cooked for himself because he knows how sad it is to eat alone. As he browses through the kitchen cabinet, he thinks of getting some ingredients in the convenience store.

Yoongi rushes out of the apartment complex, clad in his favorite black sweater and shorts. It's just a quick trip to the convenience store, after all.

"Yoongi!"

One of his neighbors calls for him from not too far off. Yoongi looks back and sees their old neighbor waving at him.

"It's going to rain, lad. Do you have an umbrella with you?" the old woman continues.

Yoongi approaches her, "Hello there, granny."

She's right though, it's going to rain in a few. Deep inside, Yoongi doesn't want to go to his room on the 3rd floor. Luckily, as he gestures to go back, the old woman offers him a yellow umbrella.

"Just make sure to return it, okay?" The granny smiles at Yoongi, which the man mirrors with thanks.

The dark clouds in the sky make the whole afternoon gloomy. Yoongi doesn't care since he thinks he's living in a constant haze. He even thinks his yellow umbrella is too bright for his personality.

The convenience store is just a couple of blocks away from his home but finds himself walking in a different direction instead. The rain gradually gets heavier and makes it hard to see ahead. After struggling to open the umbrella, Yoongi manages to get himself somewhat dry. He used to hate the rain because it makes everything seem gloomy and makes you stay indoors, to just watch it from the window and wait for it to stop. It's different for him now. Rainy day or not, everything's almost the same - gloomy and gets you all lazy.

Yoongi cusses as he feels his feet getting soaked and dirty. "Who is this rain falling for?" He asks, nobody answers. He keeps going and in the corner of his sight, he sees a figure - a figure by the railing. Thinking that maybe he's at it again, he just keeps walking under the rain, his big yellow umbrella preventing him to get totally wet.

It moved.

Yoongi's abrupt stop makes the plastic containers rustle by his side. He saw it. The figure moved. Despite the limited visibility, Yoongi stays for a moment to focus. Curiosity gets the best of him. Upon realizing that it is indeed another person, his mind thinks of the worst possible scenario that might happen.

"Holy shit, what if that person jumps over the railing-"

Looking from left to right, Yoongi realizes there's nobody around except for him and the figure by the railing. He quickly gets down the cemented steps but still careful enough not to slip. His hurried movements make him susceptible to being wet, but he heeds no mind. What if the person really jumps over? Given the fact that nobody would be around during a downpour, doing such a thing is possible, and Yoongi won't let that happen while he's around, especially not in front of him.

As Yoongi approaches, he learns that the figure is hunched down, looking small and vulnerable from a distance. He can't help but feel worried as the rain is still gaining its strength and looks like it won't stop pouring anytime now. Every step Yoongi takes makes him question himself if he's doing the right thing or maybe he's being too nosy. He doesn't really know for sure, but he's genuinely worried.

"Excuse me," he starts, faltering, "Is there something I can help you with?" Yoongi's low, raspy voice barely audible amidst the pouring rain, still laced with hesitation. He looms over the crouched figure together with his big yellow umbrella; the plastic bags rustle with the movement.

Upon hearing the familiar voice, Jimin's eyes snap open and swiftly raises his head from being hung.

Could it be?

Jimin tries to get up albeit with his wobbling knees. He wants to make sure that the voice he just heard is the same as the person in his mind, the one who's always in his mind. A pair of swollen eyes search in between dripping silver locks. It's no use wiping his tears with his equally wet sweater cuffs, but it won't cease from falling upon landing his sight to a different yet familiar view.

There he is, his used-to-be blonde hair now dyed in black, his cheeks seemed hollowed, he grew thinner, his parted dry lips, his eyes... the most beautiful pair of eyes he has ever seen in his life, now gives off nothing but pure disbelief and deep sorrow. Jimin can't blame Yoongi.

Two pairs of eyes meet, surprise is evident in each. One is welling up in tears, the other fixated on the previous. The world must've stopped. Unspoken apologies and words of longing permeate to the surrounding cold air, the rain ignored.

It took Yoongi a few minutes to process what is happening at that moment, and then it hits him.

Is it possible to see a mirage in the middle of a downpour in the city? Yoongi doesn't think so. Impossible. Jimin is somewhere around the globe, miles and miles away, not here, standing in front of him. And even though he's not hallucinating, even though Jimin really is within his reach, he cannot face it. He refuses.

He steps back, and upon seeing Jimin's hand gestures to reach out, Yoongi takes another step away until he's ready to exit.

"I'm sorry." Jimin softly cries, his hand falls back to his side, his eyes fixed on Yoongi's retreating figure. "Yoongi, I'm sorry." He repeats, this time with all the strength he can muster, his teeth jarring in the cold.

Yoongi halts. What is there to hear, he thinks. His heart aches for Jimin, but what about him? For the past three years, Yoongi has unconsciously built a wall made of harsh thoughts, irrational reasons, self-pity, and self-blame all piled up over the other earning him an unstable mindset.

Silence.

Yoongi continues to walk away. He can hear Jimin take a step too, still repeating the same words - "I'm sorry."

Thorned, Yoongi tightens his grip on the umbrella handle. He doesn't seem to understand why he is walking away from somebody he's been longing for since. He's way too confused, yet he's being stubborn, too eager to stay behind his wall. Is the wall really protecting him, or is it there to overshadow him and cloud his thoughts?

"I left Seoul with a heavy heart." Jimin still continues amidst the cold rain washing over him. "Do you really think I'd leave just like that?"

"I never minded you flying away." For the first time since their encounter, Yoongi speaks his mind, his voice loud enough for Jimin to hear. "But why did you have to break it off?" He spins around, his eyes brimming with tears.

Jimin flinches at Yoongi's tone.

"Do you see me as a distraction? Did you think I won't let you go to L.A.? Am I a hindrance to you and your dreams?" All the things that Yoongi used to ask himself after Jimin left just unfolded at that moment as if nothing is holding him back. He's frustrated and upset. Jimin just stares at Yoong, his words feel like shards of glass being thrown at him, his body still shaking from being soaked.

"No..." Yoongi trails, his voice close to a whisper. He starts to sob. His breath hitches in every up and down of his shoulders. "I will support you all throughout, Jimin-ah. I will cheer you on. I could've helped you out when you're having a hard time. I-" his voice cracks as Yoongi continues to pour out what he's been wanting to say.

Now that he's got the chance to let out his bottled-up feelings, he's finally letting it overflow with the rain.

Again, Jimin can't blame Yoongi, yet he doesn't want to blame his parents either. They're just doing what they can to make his dreams come true. But it was clearly too much that Jimin had to sacrifice his relationship with Yoongi, that he needed to abandon what kept him going, that his intentions didn't seem to come across.

"It's not what you think it is, Yoongi," Jimin takes a step forward, yet he's not quite sure why. "There's not a day that I don't think of you. If you think that I was happy being away, chasing my dreams. Well, I was not. At first, I thought I was happy, with the job and the crew and the fame, but no, I was just busy." Jimin explains.

Yoongi stays in his place and listens. Jimin had it rough in the States as much as him being left in Seoul. He feels guilty for knowing that at the end of the day, Jimin still thought of him, even searched for him through the crowd in every performance. At the end of the day, it all comes down to him and him alone.

This time, Jimin begins his way to Yoongi, who's still standing with his umbrella in tow. Yoongi doesn't budge. He's too weak to recoil, to step back, or to retaliate. He's just... exhausted. How strange that a visit to the convenience store would end up this way. And there's Jimin, just inches away from him. With his cold, trembling hands, the younger reaches out to cup Yoongi's cheeks, who flinches with the contact.

"Yoongi, please look at me." Jimin pleads, guiding Yoongi's head to face him. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't leave you again." He continues, his voice close to a whisper, clad with sincerity.

He hasn't grown taller and his hair is still dyed with whatever color he likes, his eyes still have the sparkles despite being swollen, his lips, his voice, his touch - everything is still the same with Park Jimin after all those years, and Yoongi missed them so much. He's still the same person he loved - loves.

Yoongi forgives him with his silence and takes a step forward to cry on Jimin's shoulder. Despite it being wet and cold, it still feels like home. With a careful movement, Jimin closes the gap between them and rests his tired arms around Yoongi's waist.

So warm.

"I hope your happy now," Yoongi says, his head still resting on the crook of Jimin's neck. Jimin whispers to Yoongi's ear with a genuine smile on his lips.

The two of them stayed like that for a moment under the big yellow umbrella on a rainy day in October.

The river, reflecting the grey sky, witnessed it all - from the beginning where a bond is created, how sorrowful it unraveled, and how beautifully it built itself all over again.