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“Man, this thing sucks. I was promised hot chicks from the dance school and I can’t see even one, what the fuck.”
Robbe turns his eyes to Moyo, shooting him a half-hearted apologetic smile, his thoughts far away from his friends bickering next to him as they cross the gate to the carnival. It’s getting late, the sky had turned dark before they even left their houses and the place greets them with an onslaught of neons from every corner, cheesy song playing in the background, and Robbe can’t help but hear a particular deep voice commenting on the music being shit in his head.
He sighs, trying to chase the thought away and not go there again, plastering a fake-cheeriness on his face as he suggests they all get a beer and find a table somewhere. It takes 15 minutes of standing in a line to finally get the drinks and in the end, they have to resort to sitting on the grass because the place is packed. It looks like every single kid from their school is here tonight along with half of the city, to be exact, and Robbe snorts to himself when he thinks back to the broers’ plans this morning, talking about finally making a move on the dance girls. Good luck trying to find them.
They’re in the middle of arguing about which attraction they should go check out first when Robbe’s phone pings with a message.
Noor: ROBBE
Noor: !!!!!!!!!!!!
Robbe: Wha???
Noor: LILY HAS BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME THE WHOLE EVENING
Noor: AND WE KISSED
Robbe: Whoa you go girl! 💪🏻💜
Robbe: Told you she's into you 😎😎😎
Noor: 🙄 whatever
Noor: I'M SO HAPPY 💖💖💖
Robbe: Haha I can see that, you only use black hearts, she must be special 😜
Noor: 🖕🏻
Noor: She isssss ❤
Robbe: I'm so happy for you ❤
Noor: 🖤🖤🖤
Noor: Is your lover boy at the carnival? 😏
Robbe: I don't have a lover boy 🙄
Robbe: And no he's not
Noor: Aww 😕
Robbe: It doesn't matter anyway
Robbe: It's better this way
Noor: For fuck's sake Robbe I'mma spank you into submission one day if you don't stop with this bullshit
Robbe: Kinky
Noor: I'm serious 🤨
Noor: Please please please promise me if you see him tonight you'll talk to him???
Robbe: Can't you just let it go??
Noor: Hell will freeze over before I'll let this go
Noor: Consider yourself warned
Robbe: Why are you so pressed about this jesus
Noor: Because I want you to be as happy as me!
Robbe: What do you want me to do exactly? I can't make him like me Noor
Robbe: It's done okay?
Robbe: I got my answer I told u
Robbe: I'm serious let it go
Noor: Baby 🥺
Robbe: I'm gonna be okay
Robbe: Go now
Robbe: I'm Lily's getting jealous over your texting 😉
Noor: Ugh okay
Noor: Ttyl
Noor: I love you 🖤
Robbe: 🖤
Under the chat with Noor there’s another message that makes him feel a pang in his heart.
Sander: Are you okay?
He scrubs his face and starts working on that fake smile again when Aaron shouts, “Ferris Wheel! Please you guys, I’ve always wanted to go on a ride!”
Moyo and Jens make some protesting sounds, claiming it’s boring as fuck if you don’t go with somebody to make out with up there. Robbe’s about to join the conversation when he sees a flicker of white hair somewhere in the crowd, and his heart starts beating faster despite him trying to stay indifferent, but when he blinks, it’s gone. He curses under his breath for being such a lovesick fool.
“Robbe? Go with me? Please?”
Robbe widens his eyes at Aaron’s pleading face, and shakes his head with an uncomfortable laughter. “No way, dude, I’m not a fan of this kind of stuff.”
“It’s not even that high! And it’s super safe, look!” Aaron waves vaguely at the Ferris Wheel, his eyes getting bigger and bigger with each “please”.
“Why do you even care so much?”
“Because I wanna try it out before I take Amber there, duuh!”
Robbe glances at the wheel with reluctance in his eyes, weighing his options before finally huffing a long-suffering “okay” at Aaron because he’s a pushover. It sucks, but he made his peace with that.
They leave Moyo and Jens chilling on the grass and go stand in the surprisingly short line to the wheel, Aaron’s practically bouncing on his feet when he’s telling Robbe about his plans to take Amber to the carnival tomorrow. Robbe indulges him and holds back any comments that he has at the tip of his tongue about the girl as they slowly move towards the front of the line, finally reaching the fence and paying for the admission.
Once they’re seated and reality hits in, Robbe can feel a weird feeling slowly encompassing his body and he realizes this is a bad idea. He hates highs. What the fuck is he doing on a Ferris Wheel?!
It seems like a similar thought is crossing Aaron’s mind because the boy is ghost white as he suddenly stands up and starts getting out of the cart.
“Fuck, man, I don’t think I can do this, it’s fucking scary, I’m sorry!”
And then he leaves, leaving Robbe gapping after him in shock. Before he can react and get out himself, the cart shakes with additional weight dropping on it, and when Robbe turns his head back to see what is going on, he’s met with an unsure smile, gracing the most beautiful face he’s ever seen.
“Do you mind if I take his spot?”
Robbe keeps staring as Sander pushes the railing down, making himself comfortable before looking at him expectantly.
“Yeah, um, sure,” he squeaks out, super aware of how close they’re sitting, his already racing heart now threatening to fall out of his chest. Sander shoots him a grateful smile and runs a hand through his hair and messes it up, almost making Robbe whimper with how good he looks.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. He needs to pull himself together.
The wheel starts moving and for a second Robbe forgets all about who’s sitting next to him, gripping the railing tightly and taking deep breaths, at the same time trying to remain cool and unaffected.
“You didn’t answer my text.”
Sander’s words break the cloud of fear that is currently fogging Robbe’s brain and he peeks at him, noticing how he bites on his bottom lip, looking almost shy. His eyes carry some vulnerability in them that doesn’t fit the image of Sander Robbe has in his head - always cool and composed, witty, flirty, edgy artist who makes girls and boys swoon after him.
He swallows and tries to figure out an excuse. “I’m sorry, I read it, but I was super busy and I completely forgot.” He cringes as soon as the words are out when he sees a glimpse of hurt passing Sander’s features. Great, now he sounds like an asshole.
“Oh, it’s okay, don’t worry,” Sander replies, pretending to be unaffected. “Do you, um, do you wanna hang out tomorrow maybe? To make up for last Thursday?” His voice sounds full of hope and Robbe hates himself for having to shoot him down again, but he needs to take care of his own heart first.
“Sander, I-, look, I don’t think this is a good idea.”
There it is. The smile slowly but surely slipping off Sander’s face and hurting Robbe in the process. But this is the right thing to do. He knows that.
They’re almost at the top when Sander speaks again. “Can you tell me why?” He asks softly.
Robbe fights with himself whether this is the right place to come clean, but he can’t let him think there’s something wrong with him.
So he takes a deep breath and squeezes out, “Because I like you more than just a friend and I can’t pretend I’m not.”
Before Sander can answer, he beats him up to it. “And I know now that you have Younes, I saw you guys, it’s okay, I understand, he’s great, I’m happy for you guys, really, I-”
The wheel comes to a sudden stop, making the cart shake ominously, and Robbe’s heart lodges itself in his throat as he realizes the horrible truth: they’re stuck. At the top. So so high up.
He’s gonna be sick.
He starts breathing quickly, verging on hyperventilating when he feels Sander’s hands on his cheeks, and he registers his soothing voice telling him to calm down and that it’s going to be okay.
“Are you scared of heights?”
Robbe nods shakily, blushing beet red at the situation, feeling embarrassed at his state. When he manages to open his eyes, he’s met with a set of green looking back at him, worried and compassionate.
“Breathe with me, okay?” Sander takes one deep exaggerated breath to encourage him to do the same, and Robbe tries his hardest to follow him. There are voices coming from the ground telling them they need to stay calm and that they’re gonna be down in no time, as the technicians are already working on solving the issue.
But Robbe doesn’t fully register them, too focused on how close Sander is sitting now, their thighs pressed together, how he can smell his aftershave and see his moles clearer than ever before.
There’s a voice in the back of his head telling him to stop enjoying this because Sander has a boyfriend and this is wrong, but then Sander rests his forehead against his, shortcutting any thoughts whatsoever.
“I don’t know what you saw, but Younes is my best friend. We’re not together, Robbe.”
“But, you were all touchy and,” he swallows. “I saw you kissing. In the movies.”
A small frown appears on Sander’s forehead. “We’re comfortable with each other, sure, but there has never been any kissing. Younes is straight. And taken, by the way.”
And, okay, weird. Could he really misjudge the situation so badly? Sure, he didn’t see them kissing per se, but they were leaning towards each other? Sort of? He thinks?
Fuuuuuck.
“Oh wow, I think, um, I misinterpreted some stuff,” he admits, embarrassed, eyes downcast as he feels Sander nodding against his forehead with a tiny smile.
“Quite a lot of stuff, actually. Like, for example, that I like you like a friend.”
“That’s a lot of like in one sentence,” Robbe blurts off like an idiot, making Sander let out that adorable snort of his that pulls a quiet chuckle out of Robbe too.
“Well, there’s a lot of liking involved when it comes to my feelings for you,” he says, eyes shining with sincerity, and he glances the tip of his nose against Robbe’s, the gesture liquifying his insides.
“There’s a lot of liking involved when it comes to my feelings for you as well,” he whispers back, too shy for his own liking, but Sander just has that effect on him. It doesn’t matter though because suddenly the boy’s lips stretch in a beaming smile that’s so radiant it almost makes the night look brighter.
They’re staring at each other with similar expressions, sharing air as their foreheads remain glued together, and then Sander closes the distance between them, capturing Robbe’s lips in a soft kiss that makes his sigh, hands letting go of the railing and traveling on their own accord to Sander’s jaw. His head is spinning for a totally different reason now, and when he feels the tip of Sander’s tongue grazing his bottom lip he opens his mouth right away, going pliant under his touch.
He can’t quite believe what’s happening, how just half an hour ago he was feeling sorry for himself, thinking Sander is officially off limits, and now he can feel the boy’s secure hold on his waist and taste the sugary sweet cotton candy on his tongue.
“Hey, you’re breathing normally now,” Sander notes happily, his lips red and glistening as he breaks the kiss.
He looks even more gorgeous now and Robbe can’t help himself as he runs his thumb across his plump bottom lip and scores a tiny kiss there too, pulling a blush out of him.
“So, does that mean you will go out with me now?” Sander flutters his eyelashes at him, a pout on his lips as he puts his hands together in a “please” sign, and he looks so cute that Robbe can’t do more but nod, giggling when Sander hisses a satisfied yes! under his breath.
“Hey, no laughing, I’ve been waiting for this moment since the first time I saw you,” Sander tsks at him, eyes narrowed in seriousness that would look legit if his smile was any smaller.
“You have?”
“Yeah. I was like, how the fuck am I supposed to convince the most beautiful boy on the planet to go on a date with me?”
Robbe bites his lip bashfully, aware of the heat spreading on his neck under Sander’s words.
“I was sure you didn’t like me like that, you know,” he reaches to entangle their fingers, patting himself on the back for winning with his nervousness.
Sander squeezes his hand. "And I thought you were into somebody else, made me so sad."
"What? Fuck no, it's you, it's always been you," he rushes to reassure him, blushing again at his eagerness, but it earns him another kiss, this one just when the cart lurches forward as the Wheel comes alive again.
It painfully reminds him of where they are, but before he can fully freak out Sander brings him closer to his chest, acting like a man on a mission and not stopping with his mindblowing kisses until their cart safely reaches the ground.
"We made it," he murmurs, placing the last lingering kiss against Robbe's lips and the boy thanks him for being his knight in a shining armor.
"Hey, Sander?"
"Yes?"
"Just promise me our date won't take place at the fair. I won't survive another ride."