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My nayme iz Adora.
Too day I ran. I waz relly good. I beet all the others.
---
Adora had started it out of fear. It was a way to please her superiors in the Horde. Adora usually excelled in comparison to her peers, which is why her struggles in school frustrated the six-year-old. Her age group was starting to learn how to write sentences and for the first time, Adora was last in her class.
In the Horde, every moment was planned. Everyone had a strict schedule to follow. The younger cadets had school in the afternoon and training in the morning. Causing Adora to dread lunch, even when it was the gray ration bars.
It's not like she wasn’t trying. It was just that as soon as she sat in her seat, her mind would begin to wonder. One minute, they would be learning the history of the Horde, and the next thing she knew they would be counting. She wasn’t even aware of all she had missed in between.
Not only was her spelling atrocious, but her handwriting was next to unreadable. When this was brought to Shadow Weaver’s attention, the sorcerer didn’t hold back. As Shadow Weaver lectured her, Adora took every word to heart. Like she had done many times before Shadow Weaver caressed Adora's face and sighed her name. This only amplified the shame Adora felt. She had disappointed Shadow Weaver. The little girl wanted to cry but she knew that would only make things worse. This “failure”, as Shadow Weaver put it, was unacceptable for a cadet such as Adora, and thus, she needed to be punished.
This was the first time Adora found out what Shadow Weaver was really capable of.
Nevertheless, she was determined to improve. She started practicing whenever she had the chance. She took to writing on the wrappers of her ration bars and the bathroom stall walls (which she would immediately erase out of respect for the Horde's property). Soon, she found the supply closet, where they kept the notebooks and paper and used those.
She would write down anything and everything. From the events of the day to how she was feeling.
Adora kept her writing a secret. What would everyone think if they knew the reason? She couldn’t let anyone know of her failures. The only person aware was Catra.
What Adora didn’t know was that Catra also had a secret. Every night, when Adora fell asleep Catra would carefully take the notebook from under Adora’s pillow and read its contents.
Today the senior cadets had their final test to see if they were ready to fight on the battlefield! Catra and I snuck in the back to watch.
They were so good! One of them beat the simulation in only 10 minutes!
Catra thought it was boring to watch but I thought it was super cool!!! I told Catra that it was only 4 years until we were senior cadets and that watching this would help prepare us! She rolled her eyes at me.
After that we still had time before class so she challenged me to a race. Of course I took her up on it.
She won but she definitely had a head start.
---
“Adora?” Catra asked.
No response. Catra looked at her friend to find her eyes completely shut. Of course, she had fallen asleep in the middle of talking. Again.
Catra laughed to herself. Every time they did this, the girls would be mid-conversation and Adora would fall asleep. To her credit, it was very late and they expended a lot of energy tricking Kyle into thinking he had grown two heads.
Like she had done for years, Catra opened Adora’s journal. She flipped to the most recent entry and read.
Catra didn’t know why she read Adora’s private writing. She couldn’t help it though. It gave her an insight into Adora's brain.
Sometimes, her entries would make Catra angry. Like if she talked too much about Lonnie or if she rambled about being the top cadet in their squadron for too long. On those nights, Catra felt out of control. She usually had to go to the bathroom and scratch up the walls until she could breathe normally again.
But sometimes, Catra loved what she found on the paper. Adora wrote a lot about Catra and their time together. Sometimes she would make little comments about Catra looking pretty or making her laugh extra hard that day. This made Catra’s stomach flip-flop. These comments made it all worth it.
As time went on, Catra would read with bated breath as she looked for her name.
However, she knew deep down she would never read what she truly wanted Adora to say about her. Catra sighed as she closed the notebook.
All Adora had written that night was about how the brown ration bars were extra gross that night at dinner. Slipping the notebook back under Adora’s pillow, Catra looked at her sleeping friend. Her blonde hair was draped across the pillow. She looked so beautiful.
Ever since they turned 14, it was like all Catra did was always noticing how pretty Adora was. Adora was constantly on her mind and she found herself staring at her even when she didn't mean to.
And honestly, it was kind of annoying her.
Pushing these thoughts out of her brain, Catra curled up at the foot of the bed. She fell asleep and totally did not dream about Adora.
Dear Diary, (oh that’s kinda fun to say!!!)
Hey um hello. I’ve never talked to a book before but I guess that’s how this works? Apparently, lots of people write about their thoughts and stuff. Glimmer and Bow told me it’s called a “Diary” and that I’m supposed to write in it like the diary’s (you’re?) a person. If I’m being honest, it’s still kinda awkward but I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it!
Now where to start! There’s so much I’ve had to learn recently. A lot more than I thought. It’s not just She-Ra stuff but everyday things too! Do you know what an aunt is? I learned last week! I also learned what a hobby was! Bow cried when he found out that I didn’t know what that was.
So yeah. It’s been a big adjustment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really enjoying Bright Moon but it’s also been really tough. Being in an entirely new environment with entirely new people. And if I’m being honest, I miss the Horde. Obviously, not the lies and manipulation but I don’t know, it was my home for 18 years.
Mostly, I miss Catra. Bow and Glimmer are great but there’s something different about how I feel with them. It’s not bad! I don’t think? But with Catra, I wanted to be with her like ALL the time. Just the thought of her would get me excited. I’d also constantly think of her. Her smile, her laugh, everything. I thought that was just a best friend thing but for some reason, it's not like that with Bow and Glimmer.
Maybe it’s a maturity thing? I’m not sure. (Also as hard as I try not to, I still think about Catra a lot, but don’t tell anyone)
Well, I think that’s everything? uhhh how do I finish this? Thanks for...letting me write in you? I promise I’ll get better at this.
Talk soon,
Adora
---
Catra knew she shouldn’t have trusted Scorpia with this. Not only were they defeated but she had left an important piece of First One's tech at the scene. Why Scorpia even had brought it with her, Catra had no idea. It was an embarrassment and she was furious that Hordak was making her retrieve the tech as punishment.
Catra made her way to the fortress but stopped in her tracks just as she reached the pass. She was surrounded by tents and supplies. The campsite was completely empty. It didn’t take long for Catra to realize this was The Rebellion’s campground.
A sinister smile grew on Catra’s face. The rebellion was off doing who knows what and left everything unattended.
“Idiots,” Catra thought.
She walked into the closest tent. There wasn’t much in there. It was a basic setup. Catra would have to dig if she wanted to find anything she could use. What drew Catra’s attention was a table with a bunch of figurines.
Catra walked towards it and realized what she saw in front of her.
“No way,”
Resting on the table were dolls. More specifically, t hese were dolls of Adora, Sparkes, and Arrow Boy . Part of Catra expected an item so stupid from the princesses but what puzzled her was their purpose.
She sat down on one of the pillows to get a closer look.
“Who would even make anything so dumb?” Catra thought. “And why?”
She rested her hand on the pillow next to her but was startled at its hardness. There was something hidden underneath. She quickly reached to grab it. Whatever it was, the rebels obviously saw value in hiding it.
When she pulled it out, she discovered it was a book. Though it was fancier than any Catra had seen before. It was bound with leather and had floral carvings on the cover. She opened it to the first page. It was blank besides a few words in the middle that read
“ADORA’S DIARY - DO NOT READ”
“Jackpot,” Catra thought as she flipped to a random page.
“Dear Diary,
I had the BEST day today!! Bow, Glimmer, and I decided to take a break from planning and have a Best Friend Squad bonding day! At first, I was nervous about taking time off but we had so much fun it was hard to stay that way! That morning we ate cake for breakfast then went teleporting all around Etheria! We went to -”
Catra scowled. Her hands clenched around the book. She felt her entire body heat up with rage. She turned to the most recent entry, detailing the previous day’s battle. She was sick of reading about Sparkles and Arrowboy and all the stupid princess adventures Adora has with them. Not that Catra was jealous or anything. Besides, she was reading Adora’s diary to get intel on the rebels' plans. That was it.
The entry was 6 pages long and contained a lot of unnecessary information about their plans to take back the fortress.
“Fuck, Adora talks a lot,” Catra thought.
She barely made a dent in it when Catra heard voices in the distance.
Adora and the princesses were on their way back. Due to her heightened sense of hearing, Catra knew they were far away enough she could make an escape. But she had to go now.
Desperate for any information that could help. She ripped out the last chunk of pages to read once she got back to the Fright Zone. Without wasting any time, she shoved the diary back under the pillow and ran.
Dear Diary,
I saw Catra today. It was the first time since the portal. It was both easier and harder than I had imagined. I’d been dreading that moment for weeks. I had so many ideas of how I would feel but none of them prepared me for the actual moment.
Part of me thought that seeing her would spark pure, uncontrollable rage. And I was angry, don’t get me wrong! After what she did to Angella, what she did to all of us, to the planet? It would be impossible not to be. But it was more than that. I don’t think there are words to describe the actual emotion. It wasn’t 'hope'. That left a long time ago. It wasn’t sadness but that’s closer. Grief maybe? Yeah, I guess that’s it. Grief for the girl I once knew. The one who tricked Kyle into going to training in his underwear just to make me laugh after a bad day. The one who I used to fall asleep next to. The one who was my best friend. She was the only source of light in the dark depressing memories of my childhood.
And now, she’s far gone. I don’t think she’ll ever come back. All she cares about is destruction. She’s willing to do anything to defeat the rebellion. To defeat me.
I can’t begin to explain how it feels to watch her turn into someone I don’t recognize. To watch your best friend grow to hate you so much that she would destroy reality.
I try to ignore it because I think about it too hard, my chest tightens up and I feel like I’m dying.
I wish I could talk to Bow and Glimmer about this. I know they’re my best friends but they wouldn’t understand. Not after everything. They know Catra and I used to be close, but that was a long time ago. We’ve both changed a lot in that time. Catra is going to continue wreaking havoc across Etheria. I can’t change her. All I can do is stop her from hurting anyone else.
There is some hope though. The Rebellion has more recruits than ever! I think they will be really useful, especially Flutterina. She’s so eager to help and I think that optimism will really come in handy!
It’s almost time for dinner, so I’ll leave it at that for now.
Talk soon,
Adora
---
“I have the Rebellion in the palm of my cute pink hand! They don’t suspect a thing,”
Catra nodded into the camera of her tracker pad.
“Good. Make sure it stays that way.” Catra demanded.
“You need to relax, Kitten. Remember who you're talking to. With my talent? The Rebellion will be helpless,” Double Trouble exclaimed.
Catra cracked a smile.
“Oh, and you’ll never guess what I found?” they said excitedly.
“What?”
A giant smile appeared on Double Trouble’s face as they held up a leather notebook.
“TA DAH!” They raised the notebook in the air as if it were on display. “She-Ra’s diary!”
Catra’s eyes widened. How did they even know Adora kept one? Adora always kept her diary a secret, so that fact that Double Trouble even managed to find it, Catra was impressed.
Catra curiously brought the screen closer to her face. She watched as Double Trouble transformed into Adora and opened the Diary.
They read as Adora, reading about how the rebellion celebrated Bow’s birthday. Catra wasn’t really sure what a birthday was but she laughed as Double Trouble made fun of how disgustingly happy Adora sounded.
They turned to another entry and began to read.
“Dear Diary,
Last night I had a dream about Huntara! - Ooh Kitten I can tell this is gonna be juicy!” they added in their own voice.
“I dreamt we were in the Bright Moon gardens and we were having a push-up contest. Her muscles glistened as she moved. She ended up winning and the next thing I knew she was on top of me and our clothes were being shed. She began to touch my- "
“EW STOP” Catra growled.
Catra had grown visibly tense and bright red.
“Ooh, is someone jealous?” Double Trouble inquired.
“What? No! It’s just gross to hear!” snapped Catra.
Double Trouble transformed back into themself smirked.
“Sure you’re not,” they said, sarcastically.
Catra crossed her arms and glared at the shapeshifter. Why would they think that? Catra hated Adora. So what if Adora had a sex dream about Huntara! No, Catra definitely did not care.
“Aw don’t be upset Kitten! Adora has plenty to say about you too,”
Once again they turned into Adora and flipped pages.
“Dear Diary,
I can’t get Catra out of my head. Every time I go to sleep, I dream she’s with me. Sometimes we just hang out like we used to, but other times they’re well...different. Like last night, I dreamt she had snuck into my room in Bright Moon. She shoved me against the wall but instead of fighting, we made out - Wow who knew She-Ra had the hots for you” Double Trouble said.
“Ugh, gross don’t say that! She does not,”
“This diary says otherwise” they sang before they started reading from the diary again. “Once our clothes were off she kissed my neck as she inserted her fing- "
“OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH! STOP IT,” Catra interrupted “We need to be looking for any war plans that are in there.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” they shifted into their actual form.
“If you’re not going to read anything useful, then get back to spying and stop wasting my time,” Catra said.
Double Trouble rolled their eyes.
“Fine. I’ll get back to being sweet, little Flutterina!”
“Good, let me know if you find out anything big.”
“Will do boss. Oh and Kitten, don’t worry, I’ll send a picture of the rest of that entry for you,” They winked at Catra.
She glared at them but didn’t protest.
“Thanks," Catra muttered after a brief moment.
She logged off the call and made sure to save the picture they sent.
Dear Diary,
I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything.
I’ve been really busy and exhausted recently. But the good news is, I’ll probably have a lot more time to write since all we are doing for a while is traveling through space! Until we find Glimmer, of course (which hopefully won’t be too long). I guess I should catch you up!
So much has happened, I don’t even know where to start. First of all, She-Ra is gone. I destroyed the sword in order to stop Heart of Etheria. It’s been weird, having her gone. I was only She-Ra for a few years but I feel like I’m missing a part of myself. On top of that, there’s the whole saving the universe that I still need to do. Without She-Ra, it’s going to be a lot harder. I’ll figure something out though. I have to. The universe is counting on me.
Plus it’s not like I don’t know how to fight without her. After all, I rained to be a soldier my entire life. I’m just...a little out of practice. But that just means I need to work harder. l’ll train day and night if I have to.
I’m going to find Glimmer and save the universe. She-Ra or not.
Talk soon,
Adora
---
Catra walked slowly. Her footprints were silent against the ship’s cold metal. She found herself in front of Adora's room.
Catra wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Adora had barged in while Catra was sleeping at least a thousand times these past few days. And here Catra was, doing the same exact thing.
She stood in the doorway and stared at Adora. Catra touched the back of her neck where the Prime’s chip had previously been.
She took a deep breath to calm herself and entered the room. Even though she was asleep, Adora looked as beautiful as always. Catra felt her heartache.
“Let’s hope I remember how to do this without waking her up,” Catra thought.
Thankfully she did and Catra managed to grab the diary without causing so much as a stir from Adora.
Catra sat on the floor of Adora’s room as she read.
She noticed that the most recent entry was from earlier that night. Catra skimmed the painful parts. Prime tracking them, the chipped Etherians, the hive mind, it was all still too fresh. Besides, Catra knew all this. She was there. What really caught her eye was the next paragraph.
“I’m really glad Catra is starting to adjust. She even joined us for dinner tonight! I’m really proud of her. I know this hasn’t been an easy journey for her,”
As Catra read, the sound of her heart rang loudly in her ears. She rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm her mind.
She shouldn’t be doing this.
Here Adora went on and on about how Catra had supposedly changed but Catra was still invading her privacy. Catra felt like her head was going to explode.
Catra glanced up at the still sleeping Adora. Catra doubted Adora actually thought all this. A good person? After everything that she’s done? She shook her head.
Catra carefully put the diary back and started to exit Adora’s room. She had almost made it to the door when a voice called out to her.
“Catra?” asked Adora, still half asleep.
Catra stopped dead in her tracks.
“Hey, Adora,”
She turned to face her. Adora sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“What are you doing in here?” she said with a yawn.
“I um well, I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk and- "
Thankfully Adora interrupted Catra's rambling.
“Catra, it’s alright. I get it,” She gave Catra a soft smile. “I had trouble sleeping when I first left the Horde too,”
“That’s not what ha- " Catra started.
“If you want, you could sleep in here tonight,” Adora offered. “That way it would be at least somewhat familiar.”
Catra licked her lips in contemplation before agreeing. It had been a rough couple of days.
“Okay,” Catra walked back to Adora’s bed. “Um, thanks,” she added.
Catra didn’t dare bring up the fact that as Force Captain, she’d had her own room for years. They just smiled at each other.
Then for the first time in three years, Catra curled up at the foot of Adora’s bed and drifted off to sleep.
Dear Diary,
It’s currently 5 am and I can’t fall back asleep. I had a dream earlier and my mind has been racing ever since. Unlike the nightmares I usually have, this was a good dream.
Like a really REALLY good dream.
I was in the Bright Moon kitchen with Catra. We were baking a cake. There wasn’t even a reason to do it! No celebration or anything. We just wanted cake! So we’re baking and I accidentally dropped a bag of flour which went everywhere. Especially on Catra! She was covered in it! It made her sneeze (which of course was adorable). I started laughing, causing her to throw flour at me as revenge. It quickly turned into a food fight until we were dying from laughter on the floor. Then she kissed me and that’s when I woke up.
I’m not used to jolting awake from anything other than a nightmare. After, I opened my eyes and saw that everything was normal. I was in my bed. Catra was curled up in my arms. She looked so calm. I wanted the moment to last forever. And even now, all I can think about is how I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
Talk Soon,
Adora
---
It had been 5 years since the war ended. Though it had been an adjustment at first, Catra loved living in Bright Moon. One of the biggest differences to the Fright Zone was its beauty. Everything from the lavish decor on the walls to the smell of flowers in the gardens.
There was also always something to do. Catra couldn’t believe the number of festivals and parties the princesses threw.
During the day she worked as Glimmer’s Royal Advisor. At night, she and Adora would stay up late laughing and playing games with Bow and Glimmer.
Adora, by far, was Catra’s favorite part about her new life. It had taken a lot of work rebuilding their relationship but it was worth it. Both of them had been through a lot of trauma and were still in therapy for it. They had both grown individually which gave their relationship a strong foundation.
Adora still kept a diary but Catra didn’t read it anymore. She hadn’t read it since she was on Mara’s ship before they defeated Horde Prime.
Catra trusted her girlfriend and knew that it was important to give Adora privacy. Besides, the two were now able to communicate their feelings in a way they never knew possible growing up.
In fact, Catra almost forgot about her old habit, which is why Adora’s request took her by surprise.
It had been a hectic week in Bright Moon. There was a lot of planning to do for the 5 year anniversary of the war’s end. Both Catra and Adora were incredibly stressed. The two of them decided to have a date night in order to relax. After all, it was their anniversary too. Adora took over planning the date. She had set up a picnic for them to enjoy. After they ate, they gazed up at the night sky and admired the stars. After not having them for most of their lives, Catra and Adora never got tired of the stars.
“I have something for you,” Adora said.
Catra watched as Adora held out her diary for Catra.
“That’s your diary,” Catra stated slowly, unsure how to respond.
Adora rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle.
“Yeah, I know. I want you to read it,”
That confused Catra even more.
“Oh come on, you act like you didn’t read it every night in the Horde,” Adora nudged Catra playfully.
“You knew about that?” Catra's eyes widened.
Adora laughed in response.
“I didn’t always but I figured it out when we were like 12,” she shrugged.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I guess I didn’t think much about it. It was honestly kinda nice. It let me share my feelings without actually...you know saying them,” Adora blushed.
Catra nodded. She completely understood. The Horde taught them a lot of things but emotional vulnerability was not one of them.
Catra gently cupped Adora's cheek and pressed their lips together. Catra smiled into the kiss. Just like the stars, kissing Adora never got old. As they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads against the other. Both of them wanted to savor the moment.
“I love you,” Catra whispered.
Adora closed her eyes and grinned.
“I love you too,”
When they finally separated, Adora held out her diary again. This time, Catra took it in her hands and opened the most recent entry.
Wanting this to be a shared experience Catra read it aloud.
“Dear Diary,
I just got back from a meeting with the princesses. They want me to write a speech for She-Ra to give at the anniversary celebration. I tried thinking of ideas for it but all I can think about is Catra,”
Catra paused and quizzically looked at Adora. Her girlfriend gave her a soft smile in response.
“Keep going,” she urged.
“Obviously, it’s impossible to not think of her when remembering Horde Prime’s defeat but it’s more than that,” Catra continued. “Lately it’s been harder than usual to get her off my mind. I could be doing the most mundane task and all of a sudden…..BOOM!!!! Catra!!!!”
Catra smirked at how dorky her girlfriend was.
“I love everything about her. Her laugh, her smile, her intelligence, her kindness, her beauty. The adorable way she wrinkles her nose when she’s lost in thought. I can’t imagine my life without her.”
As Catra continued reading, carefully took off her badge and held it tightly. She was more nervous than she had anticipated. Finally, Catra was reaching the end.
“I always imagined we’d spend the rest of our lives together. We used to talk about growing old together while ruling the Horde. Of course, that plan has changed for the better but my feelings still remain the same. I want to be with her forever,” Catra read with a slight gasp.
That was all Adora had written. Catra looked up at Adora.
“Catra, you are- uhh, I want- um, you make me a better person and well, I’m always my happiest when I’m, ya know, with you! Um sorry, it’s a lot easier to sound intelligent and romantic and stuff when I write it down,” Adora uttered.
Adora tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear, nervously. She then took a deep breath and stared into Catra’s eyes.
“So what I’m trying to say is...will you marry me?” Adora held out her gold badge.
Catra could feel herself tear up as she processed what had just happened. She looked at the badge then back at Adora.
“Well?” Adora asked hopefully, her voice shaking as she spoke.
“Of course I’ll marry you, dummy,” Catra chuckled.
Adora let out a sigh of relief and wrapped Catra in a tight hug. They stayed there for a moment until Catra moved her hand down to Adora's waist. She pulled the two of them even closer together as they kissed. They stayed there, intertwined for the next few hours. Talking, sharing kisses, and giggling in between.
Eventually, they made their way back to their room at Bright Moon so they could really celebrate.
Later, they lied in bed, cuddling. They were tired and sweaty but completely serene. Catra hummed as she nestled into Adora’s chest. Adora’s soft skin and the warmth of her bare body put Catra at ease.
Right before the two of them drifted off, Catra spoke up.
“Hey, Adora?”
“Hmm?” She responded.
“I can’t wait to marry you,”
“Me too,”
Not too long after, they fell asleep in each other’s arms. The same way they would every night after.