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Chapter Text

The firelight flickers over Leo’s features as he sticks his marshmallow stick into it. Despite the warm company of flames, goosebumps still rise against his bare arms as a gust of wind pushes through the evening air.

He sighs. Piper’s been gone for too long, and he’s getting lonely on his own. He could easily move across to the other side of the amphitheater and sit with his siblings, but right now, Leo really just wants to be with his best friend. He hasn’t seen her in a long while and it’s been nice catching up with her. 

The marshmallow’s lightness gives way to darkness as it chars in the fire. Leo considers bringing it closer again, but he figures it might be better to let it continue roasting. He likes the taste of burnt marshmallows. 

So did Jason, Leo thinks wistfully. Then he scolds himself for even thinking about the late demigod. 

It’s been months since he’s died. Leo should be over it by now; he should have moved past it. But he hasn’t.

It’s hard to forget when every time he thinks about Jason, he can only remember the secrets he kept from him. 

Leo scrubs a tired hand across his face. He needs to stop thinking about him. Jason’s in the past, and in front of Leo is only the future. He can’t keep himself tied to what could have been, but instead focus his attention on what can be. 

Besides, Nico’s already sent in those holograms that Leo made Jason while he was trying to find his way back to the real world. That alone has released the demigod of some of his guilt; at least Jason’s going to finally know how he feels.

But it’s not enough. Leo needs to talk to Jason. He needs to let go of him for once and for all. 

The marshmallow in the fire blazes. Its whiteness bubbles and boils in the flames, then hardens into black crust. Leo almost laughs. How metaphorical. 

The crunch of footsteps snaps the demigod’s attention, and he turns to the sound of it. Expecting it to be Piper, Leo offers a false grin to the approacher and gears up a joke to exclaim. Upon closer inspection, however, his eyebrows jump in surprise and anxiety - as well as a little bewilderment - hum in his blood. 

A teenage demigod stalks towards him, his dark, feathery hair fluttering in the cool air. Silver tips gleam in the firelight at the ends of it. Abysmal obsidian eyes bear into Leo’s own, and a knowing, embarrassed smile cracks against the hero’s face.

“Nico,” Leo murmurs into the quiet. “Hi.” 

“Hey,” he responds. His deep, glass-like voice resonates in the air and pierces into Leo’s ears. “Mind if I sit?”

Leo scoots over to make room for him, offering a confused but nonetheless welcoming look. “Sure. Cool hair, by the way.”

Nico smiles. “Thanks. I did it after a mental breakdown.”

“Sounds ideal.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Oh.”

After an uncomfortable pause, in which Leo turns back to his marshmallow in embarrassment and Nico picks on his jeans, the son of Hephaestus asks, “What brings you here?”

“I live at camp,” the demigod says blandly.

Leo rolls his eyes. “Not what I meant.” 

Nico’s dark eyes glimmer with amusement. Despite Leo’s melancholic state just seconds before, a flutter of relief overcomes his heart. He and Nico haven’t talked much since he’s gotten back, but he’s glad to see that the demigod looks a lot more… comfortable here, for lack of a better word. He looks like he’s found his place. 

“I know,” Nico says. “I’m actually here to talk to you.”

Leo nods. He’s been expecting this. “About the holograms I asked you to send Jason?”

The other demigod shrugs. “I’m a curious person. I’m just wondering what’s up with that. Totally fine if you don’t want to talk about it, though. But, you know, seeing how you asked me to travel to the Underworld specifically just to do that… Can’t help but be a little anxious about whatever it is that I gave him.”

Leo nods again, but this time a trickle of anxiety runs down his back. His shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. 

“I don’t mind talking about it,” he says. Leo turns his gaze to Nico and offers him a pointed stare. “Besides, I think more than anyone, you might know what I’m talking about.”

If Nico understands what he means, he doesn’t show it. He remains still and patient, unsurprised, as if he’s expecting whatever Leo’s about to say before he even says it.

The son of Hephaestus sighs. He pulls his marshmallow stick back from the fire, but he doesn’t make a move to take the sweet substance off. His mind wanders back to so many nights ago, when he, Jason, and Piper had been sitting in this exact place, telling each other scary campfire stories and laughing when any of them cracked a joke. 

It’s amazing how much has changed within a year. 

“Listen, Nico,” Leo begins, his voice strangling itself, “I just want to start by saying that… I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you on the ship. I wish I could have been a better person to you then. But I guess I was dealing with my own stuff, and I was kinda blinded by my own issues to see that others around me were having troubles too. So I’m sorry about being inconsiderate to you.” 

Nico waves his hand by way of dismissing the apology. “It’s fine. I understand that. My problems didn’t need to be of your concern, and I’m sure there were things that I could have helped you with that I hadn’t. Don’t feel sorry, Leo. You were dealing with your own issues.” 

Leo shakes his head. “But it’s… I…” He groans and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s more than just me being sorry. I just wish I’d let you know you weren’t entirely alone. In terms of being, like, confused about your… identity, I mean.” His heart flutters in his chest as he turns again to Nico, anticipating the demigod’s reaction to his admittance. He’s not sure if he’s come off as direct as he needs to be. 

Nico frowns. “You mean, like, me being gay? What does that have to do with this?” he asks defensively. 

Leo notes the way his voice hitches at the word “gay,” like he’s still trying to taste the way it feels around his mouth. Nico shifts the tiniest bit away from him, as if he’s fleeing from judgment. The sight of it creates a crack against Leo’s heart; he doesn’t want Nico to feel like he’s being criticized. 

“What I’m trying to say,” Leo says in what he hopes is a calming voice, “is that… I know what it was like. I mean, I don’t know what it was like to be you specifically, but I get that anxiety over your sexuality. I… I went through something similar.” 

For a moment, it seems as though Nico doesn’t fully understand. His eyebrows curve into the center as he absorbs Leo’s words. Confusion sparks against his eyes. But after a moment - a moment in which Leo’s eyes bear deeper into Nico’s, begging him to comprehend - understanding flashes against the son of Hades’ features. “Oh,” he murmurs. “So… Are you saying…” 

Leo nods. “I’m… queer. I know you and I haven’t had the same experiences with our sexualities, or even in general, but just know that… I wish I could have done more to reach out to you.” He shrugs. “Maybe we could have helped each other out.” 

Nico offers a hesitant smile. “Yeah. I guess so. Wish I’d known, too. But… I’m honored you told me. Admitting this kind of stuff can take a lot of courage, as I’m sure you know. I’m glad you’ve come to some kind of conclusion about yourself.” 

“You too, man,” Leo says. “I’m glad that you’ve found a way to move on from your fears of yourself. I’m not sure where you stand in terms of your confidence, but just know that we’re all proud of you. We all support you.” 

Nico’s smile widens, just a bit, and that’s enough to make Leo’s heart skip a beat. He’s never seen Nico look so sure of himself, but the sight of it makes Leo excited, too. It gives him hope that maybe someday, he’ll be able to reach that level of assurance. 

Not today. But someday. 

Nico rolls his eyes. “Enough of this cheesy stuff. What does this have to do with those holograms?”

Leo shifts in his seat, contemplating what to say and how to say it. His chest thrums with a sudden burst of anxiety at the very prospect of admitting to Nico something that took him so long to do to himself. How will Nico even take the news? Would he make fun of Leo? Would he tell him Leo’s feelings are a mere joke?

Will he understand?

Leo’s chest expands as he takes a deep breath. He knows he’ll feel better when he tells someone about why he’s done what he’s done. He’s kept this in for too long.

The son of Hephaestus plays with his fingers in his lap, if only to get a distraction from the world around him. “I… I really… I liked Jason,” he murmurs. “I spent a lot of time pining for him. But I also spent a lot of time hating myself for liking him.”

Nico’s eyebrows lower and he offers a considerate, empathetic nod. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Leo turns his gaze to the son of Hades. Sincerity sparkles in Nico’s eyes, and an urging look covers his features. Leo’s anxiety lulls itself as he sees the understanding; at least the son of Hades isn’t judging him. 

“Yeah,” Leo murmurs, “so that happened. It’s kind of why I decided to date Calypso. I just wanted to… forget about my feelings for him, you know? But that wasn’t fair to her or me, because in a way I kind of used her. We’re broken up now, though, which I think is better for both of us. Still good friends.” 

Nico offers a polite nod. 

“Anyway,” continues Leo, “I was getting tired of keeping that secret in. So you know how I sent that hologram to you?” When Nico nods again, Leo takes that as a sign to go on. “Yeah, so I tried doing something similar to Jason. Except for him, I kind of just kept all those holograms for myself. They were mostly used for therapeutic purposes, just so I could get a better understanding of myself.” Leo sighs and runs a shaky hand through his hair. His hollow chest thrums with guilt at the thought of the holograms; they contained so many secrets that he couldn’t give up, not even to the person they were intended to be given to. “I meant to give it to Jason,” he promises, “but he…”

In a quick second, memories of Jason sear Leo’s mind. His gleaming hair, his awkward smile. The way his laugh would echo around Leo and envelop him in happiness. 

He was perfect. He was everything Leo wished he could be. 

He was everything Leo wished he could have. 

Leo bites his bottom lip. A surge of hot tears crash against his eyes, and it takes all his strength to prevent them from pouring out. 

Nico shifts his body so that he’s closer to Leo. Not close enough to make either of them uncomfortable, but enough so that Leo knows he’s not alone. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “I get it now.” 

Leo nods. Despite his efforts to keep his emotions in check, a tear still manages to slip out. It flashes in the orange firelight and drips from his face, bursting onto the green grass below. 

Through a choked voice, he whispers, “I just… needed him to have those holograms. I needed him to know the truth. I didn’t want him to leave this world without… without knowing that there was someone who loved him in that way.” 

“You needed to let go of your ghost,” Nico murmurs in understanding. “You needed to move on.”

Leo nods. 

“Did it work, at least?” asks Nico. “Do you feel better now that you’ve given it to him?”

The son of Hephaestus opens his mouth to speak, but silence strangles his voice. Taking a deep breath, he whispers, “It’s not enough. I need… I need more. I need to actually confront him.” 

Leo turns his head to Nico, a pleading look in his eyes. He hopes Nico understands what he’s asking. 

The child of Hades’ eyes widen in surprise. “Are you asking me to take you to the Underworld?” he asks. “Look, Leo, I’m not sure-” 

Leo shakes his head and waves his hands dismissively. “No, no, I’m too exhausted for adventures. I just want some time without all that excitement. But I just… I’m wondering if maybe there’s a way that I can contact him. And knowing that you’re a ghost whisperer…” 

Nico’s eyes darken in the firelight. A cold, icy film covers them, and he fixes Leo with a stern look. “I can’t bring him back, Leo,” he says. “That’s not fair.”

Leo raises his palms defensively. “Hey, no, that’s not-”

“I’m not finished, though,” says Nico. An air of hesitance lingers in his words, and when he turns his dark eyes away from Leo, the latter’s heart skips a beat in anticipation. Excitement and anxiety roar in Leo’s ears. Will he agree to help?

Nico turns his face into the firelight, but he looks right through it. His mind wanders to some other place, some other world where Leo can’t reach him. The son of Hades’ olive fingers twitch in the glow of the flames.

Nico looks around, and as he does so, the silver tips of his hair flash in the firelight. A stern, anxious look pulls on his features. 

“What is it?” Leo asks. “What were you going to say?”

Nico turns back to him. His dark eyes burn brightly in the firelight, flaming with excitement. In a hushed, hurried voice, he whispers, “Meet me in the woods tonight, right after the sing-along. Don’t worry about curfew, because I can shadow travel the two of us out. Don’t tell anyone you’re going there. I have a plan to help you.” 

At Nico’s words, a gust of wind brushes between the two and chills Leo down to his core. His skin prickles with goosebumps once more, but he’s not sure if that’s because of the chilly air or because of Nico. 

With one final skeptical look, the son of Hades stands to leave. But before he can, Leo asks, “Wait, what are you doing? What am I going to walk into?”

Nico pauses in his steps. His body freezes and he goes rigid, almost as if Leo’s question has shocked him. 

Then he turns and, in the flicker of the firelight, a ghost of a smile haunts his lips. “You deserve to see him one last time, Leo. And you need to learn to let him go, because the more you keep holding onto his memory… the more you become a ghost of yourself. I can’t bear to see another friend go. Consider this a gift from me to you.” His hand lingers at his side, almost as if reaching for a sword that isn’t there. “Consider this a gift from one friend to another. That is, if you consider us friends.” 

A ripple of surprise thrums in Leo’s blood. If there’s anything he didn’t expect tonight, it was to hear that Nico di Angelo considered him a friend. 

But nonetheless, a relieved, grateful smile gleams against Leo’s mouth. 

“Friends,” he promises. “I owe you one.” 

Nico laughs. “Yeah, you do. I’ll see you in a bit.”

And with that, the demigod rushes off into the darkness, leaving Leo alone with only the flames for company.

Chapter Text

Leo hates the forest.

It’s too… eerie. Doom lurks in the darkness, whispers through the trees, coos in his ears. He doesn’t want to be here. 

Above him, pale moonlight filters through the leaves, offering an ethereal glow to the opening that Leo’s found himself in. It washes the area in a pastel green color, and despite his fears, Leo can’t help but admire the beauty of the evening. 

He remembers a night just like this, about two years ago, when he and Jason were wandering around for a bit before they went to bed. Piper had already gone in for the night. They weren’t doing anything suspicious. Jason just wanted to talk; he was getting nervous about the upcoming trip to Europe. Leo offered to hang out with him, if only to relieve him of his stress and help him feel better. 

Nothing really happened that night. But one moment stands out to Leo, a moment so insignificant that he should really have forgotten about it by now. 

But when it comes to Jason, nothing is ever insignificant enough to forget.

Leo made a joke in the hopes that maybe it would get a smile out of Jason. And it worked. Except maybe it worked a little too well, because just as Jason’s lips parted to display a genuine smile, his face also tilted to the moonlight. Underneath the glow, his pale eyes turned into deep, icy oceans; his hair gleamed like sunlight. Jason’s red lips had never looked so inviting, so familiar. 

He looked like an angel. 

Then Jason wrapped an arm around Leo and messed with his hair. His body folded into the shorter boy’s figure perfectly, and a cozy heat enveloped Leo, so comforting he almost wished he could fall asleep to it. 

But that moment passed quickly. And soon Leo was left in the cold alone, with only the company of his own overwhelming feelings. 

Leo sighs and rubs his arms. He can almost feel Jason’s touch, even now.

He wishes he’d stop thinking about him. 

Behind him, leaves and grass crinkle under the weight of footsteps. At the sound of them, Leo’s heartbeat quickens and his spine tingles with anxiety. He jumps behind a bush, fearful that someone’s found him.

From the same spot that Leo stood just seconds ago emerges Nico di Angelo. His skin glows softly under the pale moonlight. The silver tips at the ends of his hair flash as he swivels his head around, searching for Leo. Nico’s dark eyes glimmer in the light, swirling with a deeper and more maniacal look than usual. Nervous energy emanates from his body. 

“Leo,” he whispers urgingly, “where are you?”

The demigod steps out of the bushes, his body rustling against the leaves. “I’m here,” he murmurs. 

Nico raises his eyebrows and offers a small nod. For the first time, Leo notices two bags in his hands. He gestures to them. “What are those for?”

“We’ll need them to do what I’m going to do,” Nico responds, looking around the two. “Follow me.” 

Without waiting for a response, the son of Hades stumbles deeper into the woods, spilling into the looming darkness of the trees. Leo has to hurry to keep up with his quick strides. 

As they stumble over roots and leaves, Leo asks, “Where did you even get that? Did you go out?”

“I meant to shadow-travel out,” the son of Hades replies, “but I got caught up in something else. I got the Stoll kid to sneak it in.”

“What’s in there?” Leo asks. His feet catch on a hidden root and he trips over himself, almost crashing into Nico, who turns to frown at him. As he rights himself up, an embarrassed smile cracks over Leo’s face. “Sorry,” he murmurs. 

Nico shakes his head in response and continues forward. “It’s just some food,” he responds. “Jason likes Taco Bell, right?”

“How would I know?” mutters Leo. “I haven’t seen him in ages.” 

“Well, at least I didn’t get McDonald’s this time.” A silent laugh falls between Nico’s lips. “I got teased relentlessly from my friends when I told them that I used that the last time I tried this.” 

Leo’s lips quiver, but he can’t find the heart to smile. “Right, and what exactly are we doing?” His hand reaches for a bag, but Nico snatches it back. He frowns. “Why can’t I have anything? I’m hungry.”

“We just had dinner,” argues Nico. After a moment of silence, he adds nervously, “And we’re going to summon Jason.” 

At his words, Leo’s heart skips a beat. He stumbles over his feet and almost falls, if not for Nico’s quick reflexes. The other demigod drops his bags and takes a hold of Leo’s wrist in an attempt to keep him balanced.

“J- Jason?” Leo whispers. “We’re… summoning Jason?”

Nico frowns. “Do you need to sit down? You look pale.” 

Leo tries to shake his head, but his body makes up its mind before he can say anything. He falls to his knees and gapes at the grass. 

Jason. After so many months of dreaming about him, thinking about him, mourning him… he’s finally going to see the boy who’s ruined his life in such magnificent ways. 

Leo holds his head in his hands. A tornado of emotions swirls in his core, leaving destruction in its wake. He’s crashing, breaking, screaming. He’s breathing, living, hoping. 

After so long, he’ll finally see Jason. 

Nico shifts uncomfortably. “I- I thought you knew that’s what we were doing. I’m sorry, I didn’t-” 

Leo shakes his head. An ache of tears presses against his throat, lurches hotly up to his eyes, and he can barely contain his emotions as they thrash in his chest. “No,” he chokes out. “I just… I thought it would be something like Iris Messaging, but with ghosts. I didn’t know we’d actually… see him.” 

“Do you not want to see him? We don’t have to do this.” 

“No!” Leo cries. “No, no, I do. I just… It’s just a lot. I didn’t expect to see him so suddenly.” As he holds himself, the chill of guilt trickles down his back. Piper’s face flits across his mind, and he groans. “Maybe I should bring Piper… I don’t want to mess up her chances of seeing him.” 

Nico shakes his head. “It’s too late. We’re already risking getting in trouble, anyway.” In the darkness, the son of Hades’ dark eyes spark with apprehension. Then, hesitantly, he sits in front of Leo and leans forward. “Also…,” he whispers, “I’m getting the sense that bringing Piper wouldn’t be good for you, Leo. I can’t speak for you on your feelings or anything, but from my own experiences… I think this is something you need to do alone. Just you and Jason. Having Piper there won’t help.” Nico holds his hands up in a sign of surrender. “But it’s up to you. This is your confession; I’m not going to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. If you think having Piper there would be helpful, we can go back for her.”

Leo’s fingers shake as he thinks it through. Maybe Nico’s right - maybe he does need to face Jason alone. As much as he loves Piper, he wants to take this time for himself. 

He looks up into Nico’s eyes, which glimmer like stars in the darkness. In this moment, as the two boys sit alone in the woods with nothing but the night sky for company, Leo realizes they are both one in the same. 

He’s glad he went to Nico for this. No one else would understand better than him. 

A warm hum echoes in his body as he makes his decision. Taking a deep breath, he rises and nods at Nico. “Okay,” he whispers. “I- I’m ready.” Offering a wavering smile, he says, “Let’s meet Jason.” 

After a few more moments of wandering, Nico leads the two of them into another clearing. Leo isn’t sure how far deep into the woods they are, but it seems that they’re well enough along that if they were to die, no one would be able to tell. 

Here, a large rectangular opening caves into the ground. Sticks and grass stand out in the darkness, but for the most part, it’s empty. The look of it reminds Leo of a grave.

He shivers next to Nico. “I don’t feel safe at all.”

Nico offers a sarcastic smile. “You’re a demigod. Safety isn’t something you’re supposed to feel.” 

Leo shrugs. “Alright, fair point.” He taps his foot against the edge of the opening. “So, what are we supposed to do?”

Nico lifts his arms and shakes the plastic bags to the ground. As he dumps some of the food into the rectangular opening, he advises, “You don’t have much to do. It’s mostly just going to be me and my powers. But I will warn you, Leo, this does drain me a bit. At max you’ll probably have about ten to fifteen minutes.” He offers Leo an apologetic look. “I wish I could make it longer, though.”

Leo shakes his head and smiles softly. His heart swells with a sudden gratefulness of Nico; he’s never expected to feel this kind of kinship with him. “Don’t worry about it, man,” he says. “I’m thankful you even agreed to help me. Not a lot of people would.” 

Nico offers a smile to Leo. For a moment, the two stand in silence, staring ahead into the abyss as the last of the food slithers inside.

Then Leo turns back to Nico, offering a quizzical look. “Why are you agreeing to help me, though? Like, I’m thankful and all, but why?” 

Nico crosses his arms and kicks his heel against the grass below him, almost as if thinking about his own answer. Dark strands of hair fall over his eyes as he considers what to say. 

After a few moments, Nico turns his face back to Leo. Shrugging, he responds, “You’re struggling. That’s clear to everyone. He’s haunting you in more ways than just the literal, and I- I know how that can feel.” He offers a quiet, ghostly smile. “I felt a lot of what you felt, Leo. I had a crush on Percy. It stung to feel afraid of myself, but it also stung knowing that he never knew the kind of impact he had on me. Eventually, I told him.” He sighs contentedly. “That was honestly the best decision I could ever make. I’d never felt so free. I felt like I’d finally gotten control of something in my life, after so many years of feeling inadequate and… and disgusting . Confronting Percy about how I felt for him finally allowed me to breathe.” After a moment of silence, Nico whispers, “I learned a lot from that, Leo. And I guess through doing this… I just want to help you.” He shrugs. “Sometimes the only way to let go of our ghosts is by confronting them.”

At his words, Leo’s skin sizzles with warmth. Maybe there’s some truth in Nico’s words. Perhaps he really will find some solace in doing this. 

“Thanks, man,” Leo whispers. “That means a lot.” 

Nico offers a nod in response. Then he clears his throat. “Back to Jason. I need you to know… I know this is kind of a private matter. I know it’s uncomfortable having to talk about your feelings with others around you, so I just want to apologize beforehand. I can’t leave because you kind of need me to stick around, but if it’s any help, I won’t listen. I’ll hide in the trees, right into the shadows just so it feels a little more private to you.” He holds his palms up in a placating manner. “It’ll be like I’m not even here.” 

Leo offers a silent laugh. “Thanks, Nico. That’s helpful.”

Nico nods in acknowledgement, then proceeds to raise his arms out. “Alright,” he whispers. “Here goes nothing. Good luck, Leo.” 

For a few seconds, only silence encompasses them. Crickets chirp in the darkness; a chill pushes against Leo’s skin. Then Nico opens his mouth and begins murmuring, his voice dancing and pulling on the air around them. He chants unfamiliar words that mean nothing to Leo, and as he does so, heat flares in the son of Hephaestus’ core. An ache of trepidation consumes his chest and he taps his fingers nervously against his thigh, if only looking for a distraction from all that’s happening around him. 

If Leo thought the air was cold before, he was not prepared for the dramatic drop in temperature now. His breath steams in the air, billowing up into the dark clouds in a white puff, and an uncomfortable prickle stings against his skin. Leo’s shirt does little to protect him from the cold hands of winter that crawl over his neck. 

In the pit, a low, hollow sound echoes into the dark sky. It wraps around Leo’s arms, seeps into his ears, resonates in his head, and he only wants to writhe on the ground until it’s over. 

He closes his eyes to try to ground himself against the sound. When he opens them again, Leo almost gasps. His chest pulses with excitement; his stomach whirls with emotion. The world around him slips from his grip and turns to sand. 

Unreal. It all feels unreal.

A figure emerges from the pit, his body glowing softly in the overwhelming darkness. His eerie light spills over the grounds and trickles over the grass, seeps into Leo’s shoes, turns his skin to heat wherever it falls over him. 

Jason. 

He looks the same as always. Square glasses balance gently against his nose. A small smile sparks against his soft lips, with the same scar flashing above his mouth. Jason’s skin glows like moonlight, washing Leo in his pale, ethereal beauty. He stands tall and proud above all the things around him. An air of confidence and grace surrounds him, and Leo can’t help but to want to sob. 

Even in death, he’s the same lovely, beautiful, most selfless hero that Leo fell in love with.

Nico sways on his feet. “Jason,” he murmurs tiredly. A shaky smile quakes against his features. “Welcome.”

“Nico.” At the sound of his voice, something hot and desperate strikes Leo’s core. Jason sounds smooth and soft, gentle and sweet. He sounds like the soft patter of rain before an outrageous thunderstorm.

Tears push against Leo’s eyes once more, but this time he doesn’t stop himself from letting them slip out. He falls to his knees and gazes up at Jason, watches him in all his ghostly glory, and allows his grief to filter into the ground.

Nico takes a deep breath as he sees Leo. “I’ll go,” he whispers, but Leo barely hears the demigod above his own raging heartbeat. 

Jason’s eyebrows jump at the sight of him. Almost immediately, his eyes take on a completely new look, one so full of care and anxiety that Leo can hardly believe this is the same Jason he knew a year ago. “Leo,” he whispers desperately. “Oh, gods…” 

Heat pulses underneath Leo’s skin. Angry flames threaten to erupt from his fingertips, and it takes all his control not to combust on the spot. He holds his face in his hands and tilts his head up to face Jason in all his light, all his beauty. “Jason,” he sobs. “Have you… Did you see the holograms?” 

Jason’s fingers twitch at his side. “I- I have,” he admits. For a second, the deceased hero simply floats there, confusion flitting across his face. Then he lingers closer to Leo, his ghostly presence tingling against Leo’s bare skin. “Don’t be scared, Leo. I- I think I know why you summoned me.” 

But Leo can’t help being scared. He’s a ball of nervous energy; he’s a volcano ready to erupt. If he isn't tamed right away, he’ll turn this entire forest to cinders. He’ll burst on the spot. 

Leo’s chest quakes with hollow sobs. He doesn’t even know where they’re coming from, but they ache with both desperation and grief. Leo curls into his body if only to save himself from the pain of looking at Jason’s lovely face. 

“Leo,” Jason whispers again, but his voice this time is gentler, more concerned. “Don’t be sad. I’m here.” 

Through a shaky voice, Leo whispers, “I loved you. You never knew that.” 

Jason nods nervously. Licking his lips, he agrees, “I did not.” A shaky sigh escapes his chest. “The moment I got your holograms from Nico, I opened them immediately. I had no idea you… you felt that way about me. I didn’t know I had such an impact on you.” 

“You didn’t know a lot,” mutters Leo. “Maybe, in a way, that was better for you.” 

Jason gazes at him with pale, wistful eyes, and an angry urge pulls at Leo. He wants to reach out, to touch Jason’s face, to tell him that he doesn’t need to feel guilty or feel sad. He just wants to tell Jason it’s okay, he’s okay, that everything’s okay. He wants to hold Jason’s soft skin in his fingers, to feel his exciting sparks against his skin. 

But he can’t. And his body physically aches in the wake of Jason’s absence. 

“Leo, I am so sorry,” whispers Jason. “I’m sorry you went through all of that in silence. I wish I could have reached out to you, or said something, or just… done something. I wish I could have… helped you through it.” He shakes his head and frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was scared,” admits Leo. “I was scared of myself, of you, of everything. I was scared of what it would mean to our friendship. I didn’t know if you’d accept me. I didn’t know if I could even accept me.” Leo shakes his head as another sob cracks in the air. “I didn’t want to get in the way of you and Piper. You looked so happy together… I didn’t want to bring you down.”

“But in the process,” Jason murmurs, “you shattered yourself.”

Hearing Jason say those words so blatantly, so clearly, sets something off in Leo’s body. He’s cracking to pieces, decomposing, and all Jason can do is float there and watch as Leo turns into empty grains of himself. 

The demigod’s sobs stab the air around Jason. He sounds broken, lost, only a hollow shell of the lively boy he knew just months ago. 

“Leo,” Jason whispers. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re back and healthy and alive and-” His voice cracks. “And… I miss you. I miss you so much.” 

“I miss you too,” whispers Leo. He brushes a hand across his face, but that does nothing to stop the stream of tears. He takes a deep breath. “How did you… How did you feel watching those holograms?”

Jason brushes his face with his hand. “Honestly? I… I was surprised. I had no idea you felt that way about me, or Piper, or everything. I felt guilty, too. I started thinking… What if I had reached out to you? What if I could have helped you feel more welcome on the ship? I can’t imagine being around so many people in relationships was easy on you… It must have made you feel so pressured.” 

Leo shrugs and offers an empty laugh. “It did. But that isn’t something you could have controlled, and not something I could control, either. What I should have taken more care of was myself. I should have learned to not care.” 

Jason nods nervously. “But it isn’t just the relationship stuff. It’s also… how closed-in you must have felt on the ship. Admitting that you’re gay… Leo, that takes so much confidence. I’m just…” Jason’s voice cracks again, and this time a tear of his own breaks through his eyes. “I’m really proud of you. For admitting it to yourself. It takes a lot of courage to do that sometimes. You deserve to live your life and be proud of yourself, Leo. You deserve to live freely from all of society’s conformity.” 

Leo opens his mouth to say something, anything, but his voice evaporates into the cold air. Jason’s form flickers, and with an anxious urge, Leo turns to the woods. A low thud echoes from the bushes, and a grunt follows shortly after. With a pang of desperation, Leo realizes that he and Jason don’t have too much time left. 

“Nico?” he calls. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” the demigod responds, but his voice sounds tight and strained, threaded with exhaustion.

Leo turns back to Jason, a frown reflecting against his eyebrows. “I guess we don’t have much time left.” 

Jason nods. For a few seconds, the two boys simply exist in the middle of nowhere, with only each other for company. Leo gazes at Jason, at his ghostly glory, at his soft, angelic features, and a swell of emotions rises in his throat. He holds his face in his hands again and lets loose another silent sob.

Then Jason’s form lingers closer to Leo. In his misery, Leo doesn’t understand what’s happening until Jason’s voice seeps into his ears, suddenly much closer than he remembers. When he looks up, he finds that Jason is right in front of him. His figure shimmers in the darkness, glimmering like the stars above, and his empty thumb brushes against Leo’s face. 

The demigod’s breath hitches. He’s never been so close to Jason. He’s never felt so seen by him. 

Leo knows the son of Zeus can’t form real tears. He’s dead, afterall. But nonetheless, Leo doesn't miss the insubstantial ones that overwhelm his blue eyes, that slip over his pale blue cheeks, that burst against the solid grass. 

“Leo,” he whispers. When he speaks, his voice is soft and emotional, tied back with desperation. Even though Leo can’t feel it, shivers still hum against his spine as Jason’s thumb brushes gently against his face. “I don’t know what could have happened if I was still alive. I don’t know any of the possibilities. But I think it’s important to let you know… After me and Piper broke up, I started thinking a lot. About myself, about who I was, about what my purpose in this world was. Breaking up with her was one of the best things I could have done, to be honest, and I know she feels the same. It really allowed me to discover who I was outside of my duties as a hero. I finally got time to think about myself for once, in that short time I had.” 

Leo reaches his hand out to Jason’s wrist, but his hand falls right through Jason’s body and a hollow, empty feeling spreads through his chest. He can’t even feel him.

“What are you saying?” Leo whispers. 

“I’m saying… Leo, god, I’m saying that I’m just glad you exist, okay?” An anxious look sparks in Jason’s eyes, almost as if he’s hiding something, which only makes Leo angrier.

“No,” he grits out. “No, tell me the truth. There’s something you aren’t telling me.” 

What Jason does next surprises Leo. In all his time knowing him, Leo has only ever seen Jason stand tall and courageous. He never broke, never snapped. He was born to be a warrior. 

But in this second, as the chill around them tightens their pull on each other, as the night extends further, as time ticks on their meeting with each other, Jason lets loose a sob. His other hand reaches for Leo’s other cheek so that he’s holding both sides of his face - but Leo can’t feel it, can’t experience it. Knowing this, Jason sobs again. 

They spent so long trying to find each other. Now that they have, they aren’t even able to touch . 

Jason tilts his head and takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell you,” he whispers. “I don’t want you to hear this and think that you have to get hung up on me. You deserve happiness in life, Leo, and I don’t want you stuck on me. I don’t want to be responsible.” 

Leo shakes his head. “If you don’t tell me, it’ll stick with me forever. Just tell me. You’ll feel better.”

Jason brushes a few tears from his pale face. Then he brushes his thumb over Leo’s wrist gently, sincerely, like he’s afraid he might lose the curly-haired angel in this very instant. “I- I don’t know my identity yet. But I’m not… I don’t think… I think we could have been something. If I’d lived, I think we could have had something.” Jason’s breath hitches. “I’m sorry, Leo. I wish things would have turned out different for us.” 

“Are you saying… you like me?” Leo’s heart thrums faster, faster, thudding against his ribcage so hard he’s worried it might just break through the cage. 

Jason offers a mere nod. “I do. I did. But don’t hang up on that, Leo. Don’t let this confession keep you away from doing what you want in life. I don’t want to be responsible for… for stopping you from living a life that you deserve.”

Leo’s head swirls with thoughts. His body sways as the world around him whirls, and he stumbles a little closer to Jason. His hands fall right through the ghost’s thighs, and his face balances mere inches from Jason’s chest. When he looks up, the deceased demigod’s pale face stares back at him, his lips mere inches from Leo’s.

“Jason,” Leo murmurs. “I… I love you. I’m sorry we couldn’t have been more. I’m sorry we ruined our chances.” His face crumples again as another hot wave of tears sting his eyes, and this time, despite knowing that he can’t quite touch Jason, he tries his best to wrap his arms around him. “But I’m so glad we got to be friends. You were one of the bestest friends I could have asked for, Jason. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. Thank you for being my friend, if not much else. I love you.” 

Jason nods. His sniffs as another wave of tears overcomes his own eyes. “Thank you, too, Leo,” he chokes out. “Thanks for being one of my anchors in this world. If it wasn’t for you… Man, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t even think we’d be here.” His ghostly fingers whisper against Leo’s face and stroke his cheeks. Though Leo can’t feel them, he still hums under his kindness and sincerity. 

He still feels the love in Jason’s touch. 

“I can’t kiss you,” Jason says. “If I tried, you wouldn’t feel it. And if you can’t feel it, then would it be a kiss at all?”

Though Jason isn’t technically breathing, Leo pretends he can feel Jason’s heart underneath his fingertips. He pretends that Jason’s solid and substantial. He pretends that Jason’s touch is real.

“But,” the ghost whispers, “just know that if I could, I’d kiss you. It’s the last thing I wish I could do.” His fingertips slip into Leo’s curls, brush over his temples, trace over his ears. Jason’s touching as much as he can, even if he can’t really feel it, just to get every inch of Leo before he leaves. “I regret not being here to see you. I regret everything. If I could do it over again… I would. For you.” 

“Don’t say that,” murmurs Leo. His heart twists in his chest and it takes all his energy not to scream out in pain. “You’re making it harder to let go.” 

Despite his tears, a smile flickers over Jason’s lips. He touches his forehead with the other boy. In the moonlight, Leo’s brown skin pulses with life, with warmth, with everything Jason wishes he could be able to hold.

“I’ll wait for you,” he whispers. “But don’t think about me, okay? Live with no regrets. Fall in love, get into fights, laugh, cry, whatever. Just remember that I’m here for you, even when you don’t think I am.” 

In the darkness, Jason’s figure shimmers. His pale blue light becomes even more translucent, turning to mere sparkles. Even though Leo couldn’t feel his touch before, he feels as though he truly has nothing to hold on to. His fingers grapple with Jason’s body, reaching for his shirt, but he knows that the gesture is worthless. 

Jason’s slipping away again. 

“Don’t tie yourself to me, Leo,” the deceased demigod demands. His voice tingles in the air like bells. He’s turning to particles of nothingness; the Underworld is once again calling to him. “I’ll wait for you, but don’t live for me. Live for yourself. You deserve to after the life you’ve had.”

Leo nods. “I know better now,” he promises. “Enjoy Elysium, Jason. You deserve it for all that you’ve done for us.” 

One final smile flickers over Jason’s features. He gleams in the darkness, bursts in Leo’s eyes. He’s glorious even in death. 

Then the light dissipates. It shimmers away like sand and falls to the ground. Darkness gushes into the clearing, and now Leo is alone once more. Alone with Jason’s essence on the grass before him, alone with Jason’s voice still flowing through Leo’s ears, alone with Jason’s touch still searing his skin. 

A final tear trails down the bridge of Leo’s nose. It glimmers in the pale moonlight, blooms with a crystalline beauty. 

Then it falls to the ground. No more fall after that. 

And finally, after months of hanging on, clinging to the mere thought of Jason, Leo lets go.

He comes back to himself.