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“I don’t think I could ever fully commit to the whole—” Lord Hater grimaced even contemplating the words, “not being evil thing.”
“Oh?” Wander arched a brow, his fingers not missing a beat as he casually noodled away on his banjo. It wasn’t anything close to a song, just some experimenting with sounds as he tuned the instrument to perfection. “Why not?”
“Because if I do,” Hater’s fierce green eyes narrowed, “you’ll leave.”
Twang!
The pleasant smile on Wander’s face grew into a mischievous grin. “Why Hatey,” he said; the dreaded nickname made Hater’s body shiver, “that’s never been a problem before. Besides,” Wander drawled, “it’s kind of implied in the name.”
Hater scowled. This evolution in their strange relationship was still fragile and new. Hater couldn’t handle being mocked at this stage, especially over something that made him feel this vulnerable.
“I’m serious,” Hater said.
Wander tilted his head, his grin growing ever wider.
Hater snapped. “I’m super serious!” His bony arms flailed a moment before crossing in front of his chest in displeasure.
Wander continued to play, the melody becoming steady, getting closer to a true tune. “Don’t be like that,” he teased. “You’ll ruin your appetite.”
The two of them were indulging in a rare moment alone. There were no Watchdogs, no Commander Peepers, not even Sylvia was in earshot. Their chosen rendezvous spot was a glen that, if Lord Hater had had the vocabulary, could only be described as sylvan.
Wander had packed a picnic, neither of them was willing to risk Hater’s lethal cooking. Hater, instead, had brought the drinks. Since they were prepackaged, the chance of food poisoning was low. Wander had expressed his delight at the gift with the same enthusiasm he offered to most things, reassuring Hater that he wasn’t messing things up.
Now however, Hater pouted. This was not going the way he wanted. In defiance, he threw open the picnic basket lid. He would show Wander that his appetite was just fine. A noble sandwich sacrificed its life to his toothy maw, shredded and gummed to death with barely suppressed anger.
Mustard. Even in his rage, Hater thought it was delicious.
Of course, Wander noticed. “Is something bothering you?” he asked.
Ugh, he was going to have to talk about his feelings. He hated talking about his feelings. “Look,” Hater said, bread crumbs tumbling from his mouth, “I know all about you and those—other villains.”
Now Wander was amused. “Other villains?”
“Like Major Threat,” Hater said, “and the Black Box.” The former was the one that really stuck in his craw. Major Threat had been one of Hater’s greatest inspirations for evil and to know that someone like him could succumb to Wander’s charms—
Well, what hope did Lord Hater have? None apparently, considering he was now having a picnic with a guy he had tried to blow up a mere month before. Yes, Hater had fallen and fallen hard, he had to make Wander understand.
Wander looked confused at the names.
Oh, right. “You know Major Threat.” Hater sighed. “I mean Jeff.”
“JEFF!” Wander’s happiness was infectious. “It’s been ages,” the nomad said. “I really should stop by for a visit.”
Hater pointed an accusing finger. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about!”
“That Jeff and I are friends?” Wander was either naïve or deliberately missing the point. Considering everything that Hater knew about Wander, either was a possibility.
“You’re friends with everyone,” Hater said.
“I know,” Wander grinned, “isn’t it great?”
Not if everyone included him. No, what Hater wanted was what he had always wanted even as a galactic conqueror, he wanted to be special. He puffed up, steeling himself for the inevitable. Wander was in a mood.
“I don’t want to be just another of your former enemies,” Hater said. “Just another notch on your belt.”
The phrase made Wander guffaw in delight; his wheezy pleased laugh did things to Hater’s stomach. In the past, Hater would have been infuriated at the sound but now--
“Oh Hater,” Wander said, wiping a tear from his eye. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I don’t forget my friends and I always make time for them.” He patted Hater on his bony arm. “I’ll always make time for you.”
It wasn’t as reassuring as Wander thought it was. Hater had to express himself more plainly. “Wander—”
Before he could start, Wander burst out into song. It was softer than his useful fare, perhaps even a little melancholy.
Life’s full of partings
Life’s full of greetings
But I’m counting the days
‘til we’re meeting again
My feet always find me
Where I’m still needed
When a world needs my help
I’ll be there in a flash
Hater wasn’t letting Wander get away, not before he could say his piece, but how? Words weren’t his strong suit and Wander—
Wander was singing. Oh boy, there was only one way to get through. Hater opened his mouth to join in.
But there’s so much to do here
You don’t have to go far
You can stay by my side
And have no need to hide
I don’t need to hide from you
Hater’s heart soared at the words. Even if Wander hadn’t meant them the way that Hater wanted, it was still encouraging.
Please stay
Outside there’s a big open world
Please stay
Wandering the stars
Is where I make my home
Please don’t go
I still need you
Helping’s my nature,
It cannot be tamed
Don’t go, little nomad
I can’t do this on my own
You’ve got friends
I’ve got minions
I’ve got obligations
You’ve made up on your own
Wander’s fingers faltered as he played.
Please don’t do this
Little roaming Wander
Give me one more day
For the first time during their duet, Wander looked at him, really looked at him. His green eyes were wet. “Fine,” Wander said.
I’ll give you one more full day
Hater placed one of his hands over Wander’s, silencing the music. It occurred to him in that moment how big he was in comparison. He had held Wander’s entire body before in his fists in anger. Now he could cradle him with equal gentleness.
For such a small little creature, Wander held an outsized role in the galaxy.
“You know,” Wander said, “Sylvia really wants to see the mountains of Kazabar.” It seemed even now; he was trying to find excuses. Or perhaps, it was an invitation.
Hater would take the chance. “Well,” he said, “maybe the two of you could hitch a ride with us.”
“Really?” Wander looked giddy at the prospect.
It had been the right thing to say. Hater nodded, pleased at himself. “You two can have your own room and everything!” Considering Wander and Sylvia had been used to staying in Hater’s prison, this was a massive and generous upgrade.
And if Wander’s room happened to get sabotaged so he would have to bunk with Lord Hater well, the former evil overlord wouldn’t mind all that much. He would have to get Commander Peepers on that right away when he got back to the ship.
Wander set down his banjo and reached for a sandwich. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
With the days of travel ahead, maybe Hater could convince Wander that this was something more. That Lord Hater, Number One in the Galaxy could be Number One in Wander's heart as well. As Hater took another sandwich for himself he couldn’t help but look forward to it.