Chapter Text
In the dark there’s the ticking of a clock and a soft pillow under his head, Joe’s not the only one laying in bed because right next to him sleeping with even breath is Andy with his face smushed into his own pillow and an arm over Joe’s waist. Joe envies him a little but he won’t say it out loud, he’s fine after all! That’s what he keeps telling the band, he thinks as he watches Andy sleep wondering if it’s a little creepy, he knows that he’s fine and that there isn't; ’t any lasting effects from the ordeal they had. The waking up in a cold sweat is just something that happens sometimes, the nightmares of being down in hell, despite it being a party, don’t shake him up still and he does not flinch when Patrick starts to get frustrated over something.
Really, the band doesn’t need to worry about him at all.
A shiver runs through him as somewhere in the house he hears a grandfather clock chime, they really need to get rid of that stupid thing with Pete being a light sleeper who knows if it might wake him up- Andy suddenly snorts and Joe feels tense tighter than a bowstring, however, the other man just mumbles in his sleep and rolls over on to his side and scoot closer to Joe as if they didn't already have a heavy comforter over them for warmth. Joe snorts a little and rolls onto his own side to scoot back, a quiet sigh leaving him as Andy wraps his arm around the younger’s waist now spooning him- or rather maybe backpacking was the right term since Andy was a little shorter than Joe. That thought made him breathe out a laugh before closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of his partner being close; no, he was better than fine, he was good right now, how could Joe not be?
But the moment he opens his eyes he doesn’t see their bedroom, no for just a second Joe sees red and dancing people- demons? Devils? They all had human forms but Joe had a feeling that was just to give him some kind of twisted comfort- and the choking smell of sulfur. Joe isn’t sure if he makes a sound or not but he does hear a scream as he jerks back smacking his skull right into Andy’s face. There’s a sharp “fuck!” followed by a groan of pain as the arm around Joe unwraps, guilt immediately seizes the younger’s heart as he sits up and turns to of
course find his partner covering his face, nice going Trohman.
“Shit- I’m sorry-crap you’re not bleeding right?” Joe reached down and gently moved Andy's hand away, nope no blood
“What the hell?” Andy grumbled still slightly tired, he blinked a few times before sitting up himself “what’d you do that for?”
“It wasn’t on purpose” Joe half scowled without any real heat “I just...I think I had a weird dream is all”
God he wished he hadn’t said that, he didn’t miss the look in Andy’s eyes “weird...dream huh”
“Yeah” Joe way too quickly laid back down and pulled the comforter almost over his head “night”
There was a soft sigh that made his stomach roll “Joe…”
“It was nothing, okay” Joe winced, too much emphasis on nothing “I’m fine”
“I know you are” Andy sounds a little closer now as he laid back down behind Joe, scooting closer again to spoon him once more “you’ve been telling everyone that for a while now”
The younger just swallowed and stared ahead at the wall, jeez it was way too blank maybe they needed to stick like...maybe photos on it. Yeah, photos of Louis definitely, his little pig face was the warmest and sweetest thing in the world-
“I’m not okay either you know” it was so quiet Joe almost missed it.
He blinked a few times, suddenly a tight feeling welled in his chest and his eyes started to sting; what was Andy talking about? Joe was fine, he had told everyone that repeatedly now he was perfectly fine- he let out what should’ve been a calm breath but instead it was shaky and almost choking. The arm around his waist tightened a little more and Andy’s other arm slid under Joe’s head to reach down awkwardly and take one of his hands.
“But you know, I know everything’s going to be okay again at some point. We’ve got each other, alright?” a gentle hand squeeze “and we have ‘Rick and Pete, they’re not okay yet either but I know we’re all going to be alright”
The knot in Joe’s throat starts to choke him even more and finally the tears start to well in his eyes, shaking Joe turned around maybe too fast but buried his face against Andy’s chest letting out a choked sound. Andy’s arms wrapped a little tighter around him holding him closer and sighing, not disappointed but sound almost relieved (or maybe Joe was wrong but that was how it sounded). A hand sneaked under his shirt and the feel of the warm hand against his back grounded him for just a moment; if he needed to cry he could, of course he could for fuck’s sake Andy was his friend and partner, he wouldn’t judge Joe if he started crying- but Joe couldn’t because he was supposed to be fine dammit all. He didn’t realize he was shaking until Andy started slowly rubbing his hand in small circles, at first he’d thought it was the older man only to hear him quietly whispering “you’re alright, it’s okay”; it wasn’t okay though was it, Joe thought while laughing bitterly mixed with hiccups, it wasn’t okay and as much as he kept saying it was he knew the guys knew better, they were his family after all and what family couldn’t see the cracks?
Still Andy shushed him and squeezed him gently, continuing to pet his partner’s back while Joe silently started to cry against him. Down in hell it was hot like you were trapped in a nightclub, not enough air to breathe and too much heat like it was trying to suffocate him, but right now in Andy’s arms? This was the right kind of warmth, the kind you knew and always wanted to melt into no matter what, the kind that was home and familiar and full of safety; Joe let out a shuddering breath once he was all tuckered out from crying, god what a great night he thought bitterly as Andy made him sit up so he could go to their bathroom and come back with tissues. After wiping his eyes away and making him blow his nose Joe laid back down but made a sound in confusion as Andy had him lay on his back, but he wanted to cuddle, what the heck? He opened his mouth to complain only for Andy to shush him, frowning Joe’s tune was quickly changed as he felt his partner press a kiss to his throat.
Specifically, the place where his skin was discolored despite having literal God bring them back to life; a pleasant shiver ran through Joe from the scrape of Andy’s beard and how warm the kiss felt, he heard a quiet hum before Andy pressed another kiss there, this time a more lingering one. Joe closed his eyes again but this time when he opened them he didn’t see hell, just the ceiling fan and shadows casted in from streetlight outside. He blushed as Andy kissed him before laying back down and pulling Joe close again, the younger man hid his face in his partner’s neck letting out a shaky sigh.
“Was that too much?” Andy asked after a few moments
Joe bit his lip for a second then leaned back to look at him “which...which part?”
Fingers brushed against the mark on Joe’s neck making him wince a little “that”
“No, I don’t think it was” that wasn’t very clear “I mean, I liked it. I like when you kiss me anyway”
“I know,” Andy says grinning but in the faint light Joe was pretty sure he saw him blushing “but is it okay when I kiss you there, maybe you think I don’t notice but sometimes I see you rub it”
Joe frowned “you do the same thing” god did he really just say that, what the fuck
It was probably that what spurred him to duck his head and at an awkward angle press a light kiss to Andy’s scar, he felt a little better at his partner shivering the same way Joe did. He nuzzled his jaw before leaning back and looking nervously at him.
“Uh, was that...okay?”
Andy giggled- god but it was so precious, Joe loved him so much- and squeezed Joe’s hip “yeah, that was okay. Hey, do me a favor please?”
Joe nodded.
“I’m not going to push you alright, but do me a favor and don’t keep me out of what’s going on up there” he pressed a kiss to Joe’s brown “you’re not alone you know”
That made Joe sniffle and bring back some tears, guess he wasn’t out of crying after all. Snuggling against his partner again he closed his eyes and sighed; somewhere in the house the grandfather clock went off again and the ticking in their room was monotonous and repetitive, right now all Joe needed was to focus on how warm he felt in his partner’s arms and how his even breathing was calming, enough that finally, Joe fell asleep.