Work Text:
Reigen inched the bedroom door closed, waiting until he heard a faint click before letting loose a jaw-cracking yawn. He was in desperate need of some caffeine. He’d slept poorly and from the way he heard Teru tossing and turning all night, he wasn’t the only one.
Reigen shuffled toward the kitchen and made coffee on autopilot. Five teaspoons of grounds. Enough water for at least two cups. Press start. Go to the fridge. Give the milk a sniff.
Still good.
Reigen leaned against the counter, another yawn splitting his face. Beside him, the coffee pot started its good morning routine of hissing and gurgling much louder than necessary and Reigen peeked around the corner.
Teru didn’t emerge. Success.
Not like the coffee maker usually woke Teru, but Reigen had gotten into the habit of doing everything he could to let the kid sleep a little longer when he had the opportunity.
He pulled two mugs from the cabinet. There would be enough coffee for two, but both of those were for Reigen. Teru could have some hot chocolate. Screwed up sleeping patterns or not, he was only fifteen and adding caffeine to the mix likely wouldn’t do him any favors.
Reigen turned tired eyes to the window. It was still dark. Thick rolls of clouds were blotting out any chance at seeing the sun rise and it made the hour feel earlier than it already was. The apartment was still dim even with the kitchen lights on. It was warm though. Warmer than his old apartment had ever felt in the winter.
They’d only been here three weeks and Reigen was already racking up the benefits of having moved. The neighbors were friendlier. The windows didn’t leak as much. The elevator didn’t shudder like it was going to come loose and drop its passengers at a moment’s notice.
And it was infinitely easier to have two people living together when there were actual bedrooms… though Teru hadn’t quite made it through the night in his own yet. He’d tried through. Tried and tried and been frustrated with himself when he just couldn’t manage it. Reigen had never seen a kid so determined to be independent. He wished Teru would-
The coffee pot beeped and Reigen startled, frowning down at the interruption.
He poured himself a mug and waved the steam away from his face. Coffee. Couch. Those were his priorities right now.
Reigen let out a quiet groan when he lowered himself to the cushions, taking advantage of the fact that Teru wasn’t up yet and he could sprawl to his heart’s content. God, being able to stretch his legs out was magnificent.
New couch. Bigger couch. More advantages of the new apartment.
Taking a deep breath, Reigen blinked lazily around the room and was almost embarrassed at the warmth that spread through his chest. Through his chest and stomach and all the way down to his toes.
Reigen blinked, and the lights on the Christmas tree blinked back. Tiny. Twinkling. Colorful. They were bunched in odd places, the strand too long for how small the tree was. Teru had fussed about them. Had pursed his lips and tried to force them to lie evenly among the branches. Reigen still caught him shooting them half-hearted glares even a full week after setting up the tree.
Reigen refused to help him.
And maybe he’d messed them up even more when Teru was at school once or twice. So sue him, bothering Teru could be pretty entertaining. Reigen was like. Sixty percent sure Teru suspected he was fucking with him anyway.
Reigen sipped at his coffee and watched the room brighten. Watched as the growing light caught on the sparse decorations on the wall. On the little snowman coasters on the coffee table. On the calendar on the wall, a sloppy circle of red ink swirling around a specific date.
Around today.
Reigen had never been one to care much about Christmas. It was a couples’ holiday anyway, so why bother spending money on things that would only be up for a little while? A real tree was only going to die and a fake one would take up space he didn’t have to spare. Christmas was for a quiet day at home and a short call to his parents after lunch. Fried chicken for dinner and a movie to fall asleep to too early.
Or at least it had been. Reigen hadn’t thought anything of the upcoming holiday until he caught sight of Teru’s eyes lingering on the lights downtown. Until he saw the way Teru slowed when he walked by the brightly lit storefronts near Spirits and Such. Until an uncomfortable feeling snarled under his ribs at the longing in the kid’s gaze, lip caught between his teeth and cheeks dusted pink from the cold… never saying a thing.
There was a tree in the apartment the next day and Reigen didn’t regret it for an instant. Not even when he got sap on his hands and sloshed water all over the floor.
Reigen did not ask how long it had been since Teru had company on Christmas. Teru wouldn’t have told him even if he did. Because with as much as Teru talked, he didn’t actually say all that much. He deflected. Danced around anything that would be unpleasant for either of them. If he thought Reigen didn’t notice he was kidding himself, but maybe it was easy for Reigen to see because he did the exact same thing.
But the tree and the decorations were nice in a way Reigen hadn’t expected. Yeah. They were nice. Cozy. Made him feel kind of fuzzy and sent a dumb-looking smile to his face when he came home to a festive house and Teru doing homework on the couch.
Reigen slammed back a generous mouthful of coffee to force the stupid wobbly grin away. Damn thing kept coming back. Embarrassing.
He nearly choked on it when the bedroom door slid open. Teru appeared in the doorway, an absolute mess of rumpled fleece pajamas and bedhead. Reigen coughed into his elbow and hid his frown. The bruising under Teru’s eyes seemed darker this morning. Maybe it was just the low light, but Teru looked like he’d hardly slept at all.
“Hey,” Reigen offered him a quiet greeting.
Teru twitched, rubbing at the pillow lines on his cheek and heaving a long breath.
“Hi.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Teru froze, his fingers still skimming by his ear. His eyes darted up to Reigen’s, a little wide and a little more awake. He dropped his hand and swallowed, looking from Reigen to the tree. To the presents beneath it.
Reigen looked as well, belatedly realizing that at some point during the night Teru must have placed a gift of his own beneath the branches. He wanted to be annoyed, the kid needed to be saving his money for spring tuition damnit, yet Reigen was touched instead. It’d been a while since he’d gotten more than a card.
“Merry Christmas, Reigen,” Teru said softly. Slowly. He smiled though. A scrunched-up little smile that made Reigen gulp down the rest of his coffee in one go. That wasn’t the smile Teru usually directed at him.
“You have a seat. I’m making hot chocolate.” Reigen levered himself off the couch and waved a hand over his shoulder.
He puttered around the kitchen and focused his attention on heating the milk in the microwave and determinedly stirring in the chocolate powder. He hummed to himself, high-pitched and off tune so that he wouldn’t think about the fact that Teru wasn’t even in high school yet and he was here in Reigen’s living room.
Here, living with a guy who had been hardly more than an acquaintance before September.
Here, recovering from something no person, let alone a child, should have to experience.
Here, on Christmas, because his parents were god knows where.
Teru was almost in high school, but when he smiled like that or curled up for a movie or got excited about something small, Reigen caught a glimpse of someone much younger peeking through Teru’s mature façade. Those moments were a knife between his ribs. A sharp reminder that while Mob was seeking guidance in his office that first time, Teru was already on his own. No parents. Only Claw.
Reigen started when Teru called to him.
“Do we have whipped cream?”
The hesitant question felt weirdly loaded, Teru’s voice too tight for it to be casual. Reigen closed his eyes for a moment and sucked in a silent, bracing breath. It was easier not to know. Not to wonder why asking about whipped cream made a kid sound like that.
“Yup. We do!” Reigen chirped back.
“Oh.” Teru paused and Reigen couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad reaction. “Can I have some? Please?”
“Course!”
Reigen added a near comically tall tower of whipped cream to Teru’s mug and plastered a smile on his face that felt plastic. He shook his head and fixed it into something more natural before he turned and headed back to the living room.
“Here you go.”
Teru took the mug from him gingerly, eyeing the whipped cream mountain with bafflement. Whatever tension had been lingering in his shoulders bled away and his mouth quirked to the side.
“Oh… okay?” Teru’s voice wavered like he was trying not to laugh and Reigen internally cheered. “Thank you?”
“You’re welcome,” Reigen said. He picked his own cup up and refilled it, coming back to sit beside Teru on the couch. The quiet of the morning stretched around them, a little unsure, but not entirely unpleasant. Reigen didn’t know how to do this. How to have a holiday with a kid.
But Teru didn’t appear to be any more of an expert in the subject, so at least they were even.
Reigen watched out the corner of his eye while Teru failed to navigate the whipped cream blocking him from taking a sip of his drink. A moment later it floated into the air, surrounded by a faint yellow glow. Teru drank a bit and settled the topping back into place.
Well, that was one way to do it.
Reigen waited until Teru finished his drink to speak up.
“So, uh… Presents? You wanna open them?”
Teru looked a little startled, like he thought Reigen wouldn’t have noticed his increasingly frequent peeks at the brightly wrapped packages. He nodded and slipped to the floor, settling on his knees in front of the tree.
“Yeah. Yeah, I got you something.”
“I can see that. You really didn’t have to, kid.”
Reigen joined him on the floor and Teru let out an airy scoff, gesturing around to the room at large.
“Pretty sure I did.” He looked at the floor then, brows pulling low. “I wanted to.”
“Fine. Gimme.”
Reigen held his hands out expectantly and Teru brightened, handing him a meticulously wrapped box with way too many curls of ribbon streaming from a bow on the top. Garish. Very Teru. He snapped two of the side ribbons and slid the entire abomination off with a flourish.
“Take this monstrosity back,” he instructed, amusement flaring in his chest when Teru rolled his eyes and happily tied the bow around his own wrist.
The amusement was chased away a moment later when he opened the small box and pulled out the contents. Oh, well that… That was actually kind of thoughtful. Reigen let out a little “huh,” and ran his thumb over the custom printing on the mug.
“You said you broke your office mug and there’s not a lot here, so I got you a cooler one,” Teru said, leaning closer to get a glimpse of the text as well. “I found a website that lets you put whatever you want on them, so I could have more made if you like it.”
Reigen chuckled in appreciation at the Spirits and Such logo, a small cartoon ghost beneath the arching words.
“You know, maybe we should get some more. For Serizawa and Tome at least. And you and Mob if you want,” Reigen said with a nod.
Teru rocked back to sitting and his smile made his eyes crinkle. He looked quite pleased with himself. “That’d be fun.”
Reigen put the mug down on the coffee table with a clink and looked back to the box. There was something else wrapped in sparkly tissue paper at the bottom. He tipped the parcel into his lap, a slip of cloth escaping the loose coverings. Reigen withheld his comments as he picked up the second part of his gift, lips pinched together.
Ties. Two of them. One with an absurd paisley print that was so busy it made Reigen’s head hurt to look at, and the other… Reigen looked closer and was unsurprised to see that what he had assumed to be plain black was actually faintly patterned with finely stitched silver triangles.
Reigen wasn’t sure if he should be appreciative of the fact that he wouldn’t need to immediately wash his one tie every time something dripped on it… Or if he felt uncomfortable. He swallowed. Ties and a work mug. Was there a more stereotypical dad gift? There wasn’t, was there?
Reigen was not old enough to be Teru’s dad.
Reigen wasn’t anyone’s father. He and Teru were just. They were roommates. Yeah, Teru needed an adult and Reigen was one, debatably, but-
“Yeah, yeah, this one is good. Nice pick, Teru. I can probably hypnotize someone with this one. Or disorient them at the very least.” Reigen waved the paisley one in Teru’s direction, shooting him a sly grin and shoving everything else deep down where he wouldn’t have to think about it. “Anywho! This is for you.”
Reigen slid the other present toward Teru with a socked foot.
“Thank you,” Teru murmured, his fingers running under the tape with far more care than Reigen had shown.
The wrapping paper fell away and Reigen’s grin turned smug at the way Teru’s eyes blew wide.
“What- Where did you find this? I’ve been- It’s always out of stock! How the hell did you get a hold of it?” Teru held the DVD tight, disbelief etched into every inch of his delighted face.
Reigen laughed. “I have my ways.”
Teru flipped the gift over, gaze zipping down the back cover.
Turned out that getting the 25-year anniversary extended edition of Flying Dead Pig with director commentary and gag reel involved signing up for a lot of weird memberships and being on a wait list. Ah well, it was absolutely worth a few late nights on the internet and one bribe to a former production crew member to see Teru this excited.
“Did you know that Ishihara- That’s the main puppeteer- kept accidentally hitting most of the main cast with the pig when he wasn’t supposed to? It was like, stupid heavy, I guess. They wanted it to seem realistic when the attacks happened, but filling the pig skin with sawdust made it crazy hard to control because when it was humid out it was like, ten pounds heavier-“
Reigen crossed his legs and set his chin in his hand, humming along as Teru rambled. Okay, so he wasn’t Teru’s dad or anything, but maybe he’d feel a little more comfortable thinking of himself as an indulgent uncle. A young one. Yes. A young, handsome uncle who got his… kid person… awesome Christmas presents.
“I’ve only seen really bad quality rips of the outtakes on MobTube. This is going to be great. I can’t wait to hear the actors’ story about the tiger that got loose.” Teru looked to Reigen, eyes sparkling. “Can we- Do you want to watch it with me? I mean you don’t have to, I know it’s over three hours, but if you wanted to-“
“We can watch it tonight if you want. I’m in,” Reigen interrupted. “We can order out and make a night of it.”
Teru reached out, and for a second Reigen thought for sure the kid was going to hug him. He probably wouldn’t have complained. It would be the first hug sparked by something other than a nightmare though, and Reigen’s heart flip-flopped in his chest. Why did that make it feel so different?
He cursed whatever face he must have made in that instant because Teru’s hand froze an inch from his arm. It fluttered, abruptly hesitant, and then Teru was gripping tight to his sleeve instead.
“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Teru said with a beaming grin. “I love it.”
“Good. I’m glad.” Reigen smiled back through the distinct feeling that he’d accidentally ruined something.
Teru squeezed his sweatshirt once more and let go, curling over the DVD reverently.
Reigen leaned back against the couch and let out a silent sigh, taking his coffee back into his hands and wondering how on earth parents didn’t just drop dead every day from stress. An appreciation rose up in him. Maybe he should spend a little more time on the phone with his mom today.
Reigen thought that over and changed his mind.
He finished his second cup of coffee and let out a groan. He needed to get up. Twenty-nine years old and sitting on the floor for a few minutes was enough to make his ass tingle. Fantastic. He should run with Mob more often. Or. You know what, no. That sounded like it would suck.
Stretching his legs out with a hiss, Reigen looked over to Teru.
“Hey, I’m gonna hop in the shower… Teru? You good?”
“Yeah.”
He said that, but Reigen didn’t buy it. Teru hadn’t moved, but something had changed. There was a stiffness to him now. His smile was still in place and it was suddenly all kinds of wrong. Forced. Brittle. He didn’t look away from the DVD.
“You sure?”
“Yes. Thank you again. For everything.”
“Uh-huh.”
Reigen resisted the urge to call Teru out on whatever the hell this was. And by “whatever the hell this was”, he meant “Teru clearly trying very hard to appear normal and failing miserably”. Saying something would only make it worse. Would likely make Teru excuse himself to one of the bedrooms. They’d only been living together for a little while, but Reigen was learning fast.
So Reigen shut his mouth and resituated himself into a more comfortable position. He didn’t face Teru directly, taking a slow breath and not stifling the yawn that followed.
And he waited.
“I’m fine, Reigen.”
“Okay.”
The clock on the wall ticked towards eight. Teru didn’t move.
“It’s fine. I get it.”
Reigen took a moment with that one. Chewed it over. Was this about the almost hug? He hated to think so, but that- Jumping to conclusions never got him anywhere good.
“What is?”
Teru’s eyes darted to the tree. Back to the DVD. He closed his eyes and smiled wider, shaking his head lightly.
“It’s fine. It makes sense, but I mean- I’d kind of thought- It was an accident, but I don’t know why I thought that’d matter. He went to the hospital and I’ve been making things difficult for you, so. I get it. It’s okay.”
Reigen wasn’t sure what he had expected, but that mess of gibberish wasn’t it. He picked through the words, trying to piece together some kind of meaning to it all. It wasn’t about the not-hug. It was about punching what’s his name? His suspension?
Teru shook his head again, the grin starting to tremble with the effort of keeping it in place. He looked away from the tree.
No, it was about being here… and the tree? The present? A pit started opening up in Reigen’s stomach. He wasn’t sure, but Reigen felt a cold apprehension steal over him. Something clicked in his mind and he immediately rejected it. That was a dumb conclusion to jump to. Teru was fifteen. There was no way. Most kids couldn’t get out of elementary school still thinking that- But Teru wasn’t exactly the average kid and oh god, if Reigen was right how could he broach this without mortifying Teru?
“Teru?” Reigen’s voice was low, as gentle as he could be, because the words he was going to say felt awful no matter which way he asked this. “Do you… Were you expecting a present from Santa?”
The moment they were out of his mouth he understood that he chose the wrong question. That phrasing it that way was crueler than straight up asking if Teru still believed in him.
Teru finally looked at him and there was no masking the hurt that flashed across his face before the fake smile returned.
Fuck.
It was all the confirmation Reigen needed, but before he could open his mouth to fix this, Teru was talking.
“I shouldn’t have. I know. I have a lot to make up for and it’s going to take a long time. I get it. I do. It’s fine.”
The pit in Reigen’s stomach yawned wider and his heart ached at the false cheeriness in Teru’s voice. Holy shit, this kid really thought he hadn’t been getting presents because he’d been bad?
“Hey. Teru, stop and listen to me for a minute. That’s not what I meant. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not about the kid you hit. Santa’s not-“ Wow, Reigen thought that if he ever said this to a kid it would be an asshole move. Not granting them a mercy.
“It’s okay, Reigen. I mean it. You don’t have to make excuses for me. I’ll try harder.”
“No.” Reigen jerked closer and grabbed Teru’s hand. Teru’s mouth snapped shut. “No, Teruki. Look at me, okay? Listen. You haven’t gotten presents in a couple of years, right? Since your parents left? Yeah? That’s… That’s not because of anything you did. Your mom and dad just didn’t send you anything, alright? Teru, Santa… He’s not real, kiddo. He doesn’t exist.”
Reigen’s throat burned with the words.
Teru pulled back slightly, confusion swirling across his face as he searched Reigen’s. He swallowed and hiccupped on his next breath.
“No, that’s… I was awful that year. Every year. I started tons of fights and dyed my hair and joined a gang-“
“And none of that mattered.” Reigen rubbed a thumb over Teru’s knuckles.
“But I cheated at everything. I- Reigen, I hurt Shigeo,” Teru said in a hush, guilt dripping at the admission.
Reigen winced. He hadn’t known about that, but in the end, that was not the issue here.
He sighed. “You did what you thought you had to do, buddy. It wouldn’t matter if you were the best kid on earth or the worst. Santa wasn’t going to bring you anything. He’s just a story. Like the tooth fairy. Parents write Santa’s name on the tags. People tell their kids all sorts of stories to make life seem magical.”
Not like Teru had needed that. In fact, that was likely a huge part of why he’d managed to keep believing so long. If Teru could make things float and move at super speeds, then why couldn’t Santa visit every house in the world in one night? The one thing that usually tipped kids off to Santa’s story not being feasible had probably never occurred to him.
Teru blinked blankly at the tree. His hand was motionless in Reigen’s, the DVD slowly slipping out of his other and towards the floor.
Reigen gave him time.
He wanted to be relieved when Teru spoke up again, but what he said sent Reigen’s heart plummeting to his toes.
“I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not. It’s not like your- No one sat you down and told you, okay?” Reigen shifted over to be closer to Teru’s line of sight.
“Kids at school used to say he was fake all the time, but- But I thought they were just being mean. I was mean too. I used to say things that weren’t true all the time to make people feel bad.”
Teru put the DVD case on the floor and wiped a hand over his face. There were no tears in his eyes, but they were a little glassy. Tired. He was curling in on himself, knees pulling close.
“I’m not bad?”
The words were so small, but they hit Reigen like a truck.
“You’re not a bad kid. I promise. You’re doing the best you can. I see it every day.”
There was a beat and then the tears were there, spilling over Teru’s lashes and dripping onto his pajama pants without a sound.
Reigen’s heart clenched and he tipped forward, tugging Teru to his side. He hoped he wasn’t going to be pushed away. He wasn’t good at hugs. He was so out of practice. Reigen ran a tentative hand up and down Teru’s back.
Teru didn’t hug him back, but he twisted to press even closer. A couple of stuttering gasps escaped him, and then a funny sound that gave Reigen pause. Wait, was he crying or laughing?
Reigen tipped his head down, but Teru had his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. Unsure if he should say anything, he threaded his fingers through Teru’s hair instead. Hugs were newly charted territory for them, but Teru had always tolerated this form of comfort.
Teru curled tighter for a moment before pulling back, wiping at his damp cheeks.
Reigen’s shoulders slumped with relief. Teru was smiling. It was a messy, shaky thing, but it was a smile.
“Okay, I still kind of feel like an idiot. That’s not- That’s probably not going to go away anytime soon, but I- Shit, I really thought that I just. Needed to try harder. That like, if I got a present this year it would prove that I was being a better person? That sounds so dumb, oh my god.”
Reigen squeezed Teru’s shoulder.
“I don’t think that’s dumb. It makes sense that you’d want some concrete validation that you’re turning your life around. But lots of kids join gangs and dye their hair and get in fights, you know. Some kids smoke. Doesn’t make them bad people. You grow out of that shit. I doubt you were as bad as you think.”
Teru looked up at him from under furrowed brows, his smile fading. His gaze was heavy enough to make Reigen think twice about that claim.
“I was pretty awful.”
“But you aren’t now. That’s worth something, you know. People improve as they grow up. Or at least they’re supposed to,” Reigen added in a mutter. “What matters is that you’re working on yourself. You made the decision at some point to stop being a jerk, right? That shows guts.”
Teru opened his mouth like he was going to argue but he shut it again without saying anything, heaving a sigh and looking at the clusters of lights on the tree.
“I guess, yeah.”
“You guess, okay,” Reigen said with a huff of barely concealed exasperation. “Being a good person isn’t as black and white as people tend to think. It’s not up to any one person to decide. Not even Santa, even if he was real. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. Not me. Not Mob. Only what you think.”
Teru’s mouth puckered at that.
“It’d be easier to just go off what others tell you, for sure. And hell, I don’t think there’s a person on earth that doesn’t want to be reassured that they’re doing well every now and again…” Reigen trailed off, mind filled with a bridge at sunset and two long shadows. “But in the end, it’s up to you. Do you think you were good this year, Teru?”
“I…”
Reigen let his hand rest at the nape of Teru’s neck, ready to be supportive of whatever answer he was given.
“I tried really hard. Harder than I ever have, I think. I didn’t mean to hurt Edano and I… I asked for help when I knew I needed it even though it sucked.” Teru’s voice grew quieter. “I think I did okay.”
“And you’ve made dinner for us a couple of times. And you enabled us to get this kickass new apartment, which I am loving by the way. And you help me out with exorcisms when I’m short an employee. And you watch movies with me that no one else would suffer through, which is a hundred times more fun than watching them alone,” Reigen added with a wave of his hand. “Speaking of.”
He tapped the DVD case on the floor and wiggled his eyebrows.
“How about we pop this in and eat junk food for breakfast? We can go out for lunch when it’s over.”
Teru nodded quickly, wiping at the last of his tears with his sleeve. Reigen dragged himself to his feet and echoed the deep breath Teru sucked in, blowing it out slowly. They needed something munchy for a morning movie. Maybe popcorn or pretz or Bisuko or something. Reigen let out a chuckle at the thought. His mom would have a fit if she knew he was still indulging in snacks for breakfast, but no one had to let her in on that little habit.
Reigen let out a second, louder laugh at the sight of Teru’s hot chocolate mug still half-full of whipped cream.
“You want me to get you a spoon for that?” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder.
“Probably,” Teru said with a wet giggle. He still looked tired, but the amusement in his eyes was genuine. He picked up the DVD again and rubbed his thumb along the edge of the casing.
Reigen made his way to the kitchen and scrubbed a hand through his hair. Okay, it was only eight-thirty, but he felt like could say he’d succeeded in surviving his first Christmas with a kid. He snuck a peek at the dregs left in the coffee pot. Mm, not enough for a third cup. He poured the extra into his mug anyway, opening one of the drawers to snag a spoon.
Soft footsteps sounded behind him.
“Reigen?”
“Hm?”
Reigen turned and nearly rocked back into the counter when Teru suddenly grabbed him in a firm hug. It took a few seconds for Reigen’s brain to catch up and he belatedly wrapped his arms around Teru in return. Teru tightened his grip, ducking his head under Reigen’s chin.
“Thank you, Reigen. Merry Christmas,” he whispered.
Reigen relaxed into the hold, his gaze slipping to the window. To the sliver of blue sky cresting the horizon.
“Merry Christmas, Teru.”