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“Yo Stark, notice something coming up?”
Tony looked at Clint over his coffee, eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?”
“Nearing the end of may, don’t you think?” He grinned, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
Tony sighed, putting his mug down on the kitchen island. “Yes. It is nearing the end of May.”
“Any plans for your big day?” Clint asked, looking at him expectantly.
“Oh no. Nothing good ever happens on my birthday,” Tony answered bitterly.
“Can’t be that bad, man,” Clint laughed. “After all, you do have a reputation for throwing awesome parties.”
“Yeah… those parties were part of the problem.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Now if you let me go, I have work to do.”
“No party planning?”
“No party planning,” Tony grumbled, grabbing his mug and leaving the room.
He remembered his first few birthdays, at school. People always took advantage of it and punched him thirteen, fourteen, fifteen times until he finally left high school for MIT. And the kids always assumed that he got an insane amount of presents because he was rich, but in reality he got a suit from his parents, and a card and some money from Jarvis and his wife. Everybody else either didn’t care or gave his parents wine, like it was his parents celebrating something and not Tony’s own birthday.
He remembered a specific birthday, maybe his sixteenth? He threw a party at his mansion, seeing as his parents were gone on a business trip and didn’t have time for him. There were way too many people and drugs and loud music but Tony was feeling great, and encouraged people to destroy as much as possible; he wanted his parents to return to a mess. It was payback for not being there for him. But Rhodey found him seizing on the floor of the third floor bathroom after too many lines, and Tony woke up in the hospital with Aunt Peggy beside him. He still remembered the look on her face when she grimly handed him a birthday present; a gold watch.
He spent 90% of the birthdays in his twenties and thirties throwing giant parties, all the exact same (drink too much, sleep with everyone, let loose fireworks in a rather dangerous fashion) without too much of a problem. But then on Tony’s 40th birthday, Rhodey disappeared with the suit and Tony was dying and that was supposed to be his last birthday anyway so whatever.
No more parties after that.
Sure, he got the birthday shout out on the news (as if people needed reminding), but he didn’t like to consume media on his birthday. There were only so many years you could stomach reading Twitter attack you under every birthday tweet. It got depressing after a while, so usually he’d just hole up in his workshop with the tv off and his phone across the room.
Pepper would get him a simple gift, usually cologne or a tie or whatever, and Rhodey would give him some wine. Happy too. Tony would thank them, invite them to stay for a bit, and move on with his day/week/month/year. His birthday was not important in the grand scheme of things, and it wasn’t like he wanted reminders of how much borrowed time he was living on.
He liked it better that way.
“Tony!” Steve said, meeting him in the elevator. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Sure, Cap,” Tony said. “What is it?”
“Is there anything you want for your birthday? I’m terrible with gifts,” Steve said.
“I want for nothing,” Tony smiled.
“C’mon, or is there anything you want to do? Watch a movie, popcorn? Fondue?”
Tony looked at him. “Of all things… fondue?”
“Cheese, y’know.” Steve shrugged.
“Cheese.” Tony nodded. To be honest, fondue didn’t sound all that bad. Classy enough, but still tasty.
“Stop making fun of me. I have no idea what to do.”
Tony laughed. “Anyway. I’m good. My birthday is just another day, don’t you worry about a thing.” He waved Steve off.
“You got something for me and it wasn’t even my birthday,” Steve said. “You keep calling it an ‘early birthday present.’ It’s been like five times now.”
“Look, Cap. I’m gonna be straight with you.” Tony turned to face him fully. “I have quite a bit of money and things, yeah?”
“I mean, yeah.”
“So when I say that I want for nothing, I really do, want for nothing,” Tony explained. “I am perfectly content with what I have, and what I don’t have, I have the means to get it.”
Steve sighed. “Yes, but what about things that aren’t so materialistic?”
“Like what?”
“Like… I don’t know. I can make you a cake?”
“I can always buy a cake.”
“I know, but-”
“Cap. I appreciate it. I really do, but it’s better if we all just treat it as another day,” Tony said. “My birthdays have all been disastrous. It’s safer if I don’t make a big deal.”
Steve sighed exasperatedly. “Tony-”
“And before you even think of it, no surprise parties.” Tony patted the arc reactor. “Heart can’t take it.”
Steve’s face screwed up, but the elevator doors opened on the gym floor.
“Your stop. Good chatting with you,” Tony said, pushing Steve out the door. “Have fun.”
The Avengers, as much as Tony enjoyed their company, they were sometimes too much. They liked to touch each other, little pats on the back and shoulder grabs or whatever- Tony couldn’t stand it. They were also so intent on being a team, being best buddies with one another, and Tony just wasn’t that kind of social guy. He didn’t feel the need to constantly be someone else, and quite frankly, his social battery was not what it used to be; he found himself escaping to his workshop a lot, savouring the time alone. He never used to enjoy being alone that much.
Tony just wasn’t the type of guy to watch movies with a bucket of popcorn and call it a party. But the Avengers insisted.
As his birthday loomed closer, the questions kept coming.
Tony, what do you want for your birthday?
Tony! What’s your favourite cake flavour?
Any plans for your big day?
Would Pepper tell me what you’d like as a present if you won’t tell me?
He looked at his birthday with plain dread. They were going to plan something for him, and with his luck he’d find a way to screw it up, and all he wanted to do was keep it like he had before; three people, a bottle of wine, and that’s it. Simple company. And Clint kept asking him about throwing a big party but the last thing he needed right now was to be found passed out in a bathtub with his nose bleeding and white powder on his face. He just full-on left the room whenever Clint got that look, it was all just too much for Tony.
“You okay?” Pepper eyed him worriedly.
It was the day before his birthday, and Tony was so full of nervous energy that he was practically bouncing off the walls. His hands were shaking under the blankets of his bed so that Pepper couldn’t see them, but he knew he looked about two seconds away from a panic attack. He glanced up at her, afraid to make eye contact, and smiled. It felt stretched and fake and he could hear his heart pound relentlessly in his ears. “Yup.”
“Sure,” she scoffed. “Tell me what’s up.”
“They keep asking about my birthday. I don’t want a party. I don’t want gifts,” Tony blurted out. “They’re all so… pushy.”
Pepper laughed. “Tony, you’re getting yourself all worked up. It’s gonna be okay. They won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and if you are, just tell them; they’ll lay off.”
“What if I’m uncomfortable telling them that I’m uncomfortable?” Tony mumbled, sliding down further in the bed.
“Tony… it’ll be just fine,” Pepper said, sliding under the covers as well. She kissed his cheek. “You’ll see.”
Tony shook his head skeptically, but let Pepper rest her head against his chest. He played with her hair for a bit, breathing, letting her presence calm him down. She always had that effect on him, she always seemed to turn his worries into simple problems with simple solutions. The Avengers wouldn’t do anything to outright make him feel unsafe, but they also didn’t really… know him well enough to know what he liked and what he didn’t.
“If you do need to leave,” Pepper said after a while, “just text me. And I’ll call you, and pretend we need you at the office.”
Tony let out a breath. “Okay.”
Satisfied, Pepper moved to the other side of the bed. “J, lights.”
The room plummeted into darkness, but Tony stayed awake for the next couple of hours, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything that could go wrong and how to avoid it.
--
Tony came to the grand conclusion by morning; he could simply lock himself in his favourite place in the world.
As soon as it became a respectable time for him to get up he was out of bed and behind the locked glass doors of the tower workshop. It was perfect; he had moved Dum-E and his brothers after the Mandarin incident, so he had a little company. He spent the morning whipping up a cake from scratch (literally, he made the baking powder, salt and baking soda in the lab) with his bots. There was flour, flour everywhere, on all the surfaces, in every crevice and nook and cranny that existed, but by the end, it wasn’t half-bad. Dum-E’s decorating skills were strange and You’s idea to shake sprinkles over it until there was a thick layer of the sugar could’ve been thought out a little more, but it was Tony’s cake; and his bots made it with him. It was perfect in his eyes, and tasted amazing even if it looked like a mess. Carrot cake and cream cheese icing was his favourite combination, even if he told everyone it was plain old chocolate or vanilla.
Tony had his cake for breakfast and lunch, but at five, Steve knocked on the door.
Tony knew he couldn’t hide here forever; frankly, he was surprised they had left him alone for that long. He let JARVIS open the doors and plastered a smile on his face. “Sup, Cap?”
“Happy Birthday, Tony,” Steve said, smiling. “Your presence is requested upstairs.”
“Requested? Am I the queen or something?” Tony scoffed at his choice of words.
“Today you are,” Steve said without missing a beat. “C’mon; I promise it’s not a big surprise party or whatever you expressed your distaste for.”
Tony followed Steve out the door, anxiety creeping up his insides. But he trusted Steve enough, surely he was telling the truth. When they reached the common floor, everyone was waiting in the kitchen for him, smiling and happy and they were all just staring at him. Steve gestured to the chair at the head of the table, and Tony felt odd, like he was going to be interrogated or something along those lines.
But then the lights were off and Bruce was holding a cake with a lit candle in the middle, and they were all singing.
Tony didn’t know what to do.
He smiled at them all, redness creeping up to colour his cheeks and ears. Should he sing along? But it was his birthday, why would he wish happy birthday to himself? Why was everyone strangely all in tune? Did they practice this? That’s silly. Should he pretend he was the conductor for a choir? That’s stupid. Tony was grateful when Bruce finally set the cake in front of him and Tony had something to direct his gaze to. It was double-layered, circular, and covered unevenly in chocolate icing. Green icing made the words Happy Birthday Tony!!!!!!!! and he bit back a laugh at the sheer amount of exclamation points.
“Blow it out,” Clint pushed once the final notes of the tune had been sung. “We didn’t want to put forty-something candles on it so we just settled for one.”
Tony laughed nervously and blew out the single candle. The lights turned back on, and he could all see their grinning faces more clearly. Heck, even Natasha was smiling at him, all teeth; it was terrifying.
“What am I supposed to do when people sing happy birthday?” Tony asked, throwing his hands up in the air, not knowing what to say. “I’ve had more birthdays than all of you and I’ve never figured it out.”
“You handled it with grace.” Nat clapped her hands on his shoulders, standing behind his chair. “Now start slicing it, we worked hard on this cake.”
“Aye! Many a sugar was split,” Thor offered.
Tony hesitantly picked up the knife sitting beside the stack of plates and forks on the table, and made a clean slice through the cake. He gently placed the first slice on a plate, and held it up questionably.
“No, the birthday boy gets the cake first.” Bruce took the knife from Tony and began slicing the other’s.
“I’ve never done it like that.” Tony stared down at the red velvet cake and grabbed a fork. He felt bad starting without the others.
“Really?”
“Yeah, the birthday boy got served last,” Tony said. “Was that just my family?”
“Well, now you have a different family.” Clint shrugged. “But I want the second slice.”
A family. Tony nearly choked and he hadn’t even started eating the cake yet. He swallowed harshly and once Clint had started digging into his slice, he started on his own.
It was… surprisingly good. Made with love, Ana Jarvis would say whenever she gave him a dish. It wasn’t restaurant quality, but it was by far better than anything he could’ve ordered- homemade cake just always tasted better. Chatter broke out as people started reaching for seconds and the focus was thankfully off of Tony for a bit.
“Gifts! We bear gifts!” Thor exclaimed, setting a messily-wrapped sphere in front of Tony at the table. His heart fell again. Just when he was able to breathe, of course the attention was back to him.
“What is it?” Tony hesitantly picked up the sphere and began to rip off the paper, very slowly. It was surprisingly heavy.
The final layer of paper was ripped off to reveal… a small planet? Was it a jawbreaker? Thor patted his shoulder. “A replica of the furthest planet thy can see from Midgard.”
“Oh?” Tony asked. The planet was gold with red clouds, and the clouds moved across the surface like he was looking at it in real time. “What’s it called?”
“Úlfheðnar, we call it,” Thor said. “The colours reminded me of the man of Iron.”
“Wow,” Tony said, and he meant it. A warmth spread from his heart to his fingers and he grinned at his friend. “Thanks, big guy.”
“Not a problem, Anthony. Happy day of birth! I practiced that Midgardian tune for you,” Thor said proudly.
“I can tell, thanks man.” Tony patted Thor’s hand, and looked back up. A pile of gifts now laid in front of him, and he startled. “Woah.”
A personalized Iron Man mug from Clint. A rainbow knife from Nat that looked like a lighter until he tried to light it, and it flipped open and nearly sliced his hand open. Steve drew him a view of the tower from the cafe at the corner, which felt somehow more personal than he thought it would make him feel. Bruce gave him a vinyl of Black Sabbath’s hits, and Tony just kept saying thank you, wondering if there was a limit to how many times one should say that word when receiving gifts. After putting the last present aside, Tony looked up, and-
His thoughts just stopped.
They did this for him. For Tony. They were all smiling at him, and they were all here, for him. He didn’t even have to throw a party or give them food or get them drinks. They went out of their way to do this for Tony, and that was more than he thought anybody would ever do for him, let alone the gifts or the birthday wishes or whatever.
Was he getting choked up? His face felt hot.
“Did the party start without me?” Rhodey announced, walking into the room, holding a bottle of red wine.
Tony whipped around in his seat, grateful for his arrival, then noticed the two behind Rhodey. “Pep, Hap. Hello!”
“This is different,” Pepper noticed, also bearing a gift. “You never really celebrate.”
Tony shrugged. “They did this, not me.”
Pepper smiled at him, a silent question. Tony nodded his response. Everything is fine.
“I wouldn’t call this a party,” Clint scoffed. “There’s not even any pizza.”
“Pizza doesn’t automatically mean a party,” Natasha pointed out, elbowing Clint. “You had pizza for lunch.”
“A celebration is company.” Thor nodded. “And here we are.”
Tony stood up and hugged Happy, taking the wine glass set from him. “Thanks, man.”
“Happy birthday, boss.” Happy smiled at him. “Catching up to me, now.”
“We have a centenarian in the house.” Tony pointed at Steve.
He felt… welcome. Okay. Comfortable. And soon enough everyone had a glass of wine and they were all just talking, and most of the time it wasn’t even about Tony, and that was alright- it was better than alright. This was just the right amount of attention Tony needed, and of course, the alcohol helped calm him down.
“Dinner is served,” Bruce announced after half an hour or so, placing a giant quiche on the table. Thor also emerged from the kitchen, holding a tray of hors-d’œuvres that had most likely been in the freezer for months now. It was the most random assortment of food ever, but the thought that they all did this for him kept popping up in Tony’s brain and suddenly everything was perfect.
“This isn’t so bad,” Pepper said softly into Tony’s ear as he sat down on the couch with a plate of food.
“No. It’s fine,” Tony said. “Kinda touching, not gonna lie.”
“Did you say your thank you’s?” she teased.
“I’m not a child.” Tony rolled his eyes and stuck a fork into the quiche, then had an idea. He removed his fork from the food and tapped it against the wine glass.
“A speech!” Clint yelled, and everyone quieted.
“From the birthday boy, to you all. Thanks for this,” Tony said, the words difficult and sounding foreign. “Usually, it’s just me and the bots. I have bad luck with birthday parties.”
“Tell me about it,” Rhodey groaned, rolling his eyes.
“I was dying!” Tony defended himself.
“That’s not even the one I was thinking about. Remember that time with the girl from your CommTech class when you were-”
“Yeah, that’s enough out of you.” Tony slumped into the couch, and took a forceful bite of his food.
“Tell it!” Clint said, sitting down and looking at Rhodey earnestly.
“Yes, nothing like a tale for Anthony’s day,” Thor said, egging Rhodey on.
“If this is teenaged Tony, then we have to hear it,” Bruce said, joining them by the couch.
“Okay, okay!” Rhodey said, his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, Tones. So, Tony and this girl named Genevieve were really close when we were at MIT, they had a lot of classes together, and yeah. But at Tony’s seventeenth birthday party, they both went missing.”
“Hold up- Genevieve?” Clint said, putting a hand up.
“What about her?” Tony shrugged
“Were you dating someone from the 1940s?” Clint scoffed.
“I think Genevieve is a very pretty name.” Steve said.
“Of course you would, Cap. You’re from the 1940s.”
“She was nice. We all called her Genie. She’s French,” Tony said, waving a hand of dismissal. “Very pretty. Very long legs. I loved her legs.”
“She was taller than you,” Rhodey reminded him.
“By an inch. And I was like five seven then,” Tony retorted.
“She was really just using you for your notes and money,” Rhodey said, raising an eyebrow.
“Whatever. She was pretty.”
Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Anyway, they disappeared. And no one knew where they went, the summer term had started a couple weeks earlier and they had a test the next day. I spent hours looking for them, until I found both of them naked on top of the dome. It was Friday, eight AM, the day of the test.”
“Wait- the dome?” Natasha grinned.
“The dome,” Rhodey repeated, mirroring her expression.
“The MIT dome? The iconic dome? The hackers dome?” Bruce asked.
“The very one.”
“How did you think to look up there?” Bruce asked.
“Trust me; it wouldn’t be the weirdest place I found Tony in,” Rhodey laughed, then poked Tony. “Remember when I found you in the bike lockers in the garage across campus? I never got a story for that.”
“And you’re not gonna get one.” Tony took a sip of his wine.
Rhodey sighed. “Anyway, I bring ‘em down, force Tony to get dressed, but by then Tony’s throwing up a kidney from the sheer amount of alcohol. I called my professor and asked him if Tony and I could take the test another time. I got Tony with me and we say that our car’s tire blew. The professor was understanding, the next day was a Saturday and we could just go in that day and write it since he didn’t have any classes on Saturdays.”
“Why can I already tell where this is going?” Natasha sighed.
“So Tony and I walked into class the next day, Tony was still feeling it, and obviously the professor could tell. We sat across the room from each other and the professor gave us our test. The first page was relatively easy, with 10 multiple choice questions. And I mean, Tony’s a genius and I had studied so that’s not saying much. But I flipped the page and my heart just fell.”
“I still remember that day. That was not a fun day,” Tony grumbled.
“Worth 90% of our marks, was this question: inchwhich tire of your car blew?” Rhodey concluded.
“Did you fail?” Steve asked, looking at Tony disapprovingly while everyone else laughed.
“We communicated through quantum entanglement.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course we failed.”
“That was not one of your best birthdays.” Rhodey shook his head.
“For you, maybe,” Tony pointed out. “For me it was one of my tamer ones.”
“You throw some wild parties.”
“Of course, honey bear, until it blew up my house quite literally. And that, my friends, is why my birthdays now consist of me, my bots, and a lot of alcohol,” Tony told them.
“Well, now we are all here,” Thor smiled at him.
“Now you guys are here.” Tony eyed them over his glass. “Thank you.”
And then, because of course, the alarm to assemble sounded.
Doombots. Doctor Doom had something for Tony, he thought. Always seemed to hyperfixate on attacking the Iron Man suit before any of the others, which was kind of stupid, because that meant that the others had room to attack. Maybe Doom attacked Tony because it was a genius thing; while Doom was stupid when it came to strategy, he was actually quite smart- as one has to be to build an army of robots, after all.
“Heard it was your birthday!” Doom shouted, surrounded by his army.
“This is just so typical,” Tony muttered. Cilnt laughed through the comms.
It was an easy fight. They had War Machine on their side this time, which was a small bonus. Unfortunately for Tony, Doom shot at him while he was going almost supersonic to plough through a group of Doombots. While his armour cut out for only a second, it was enough to make him hit the ground at the speed and he tore up pavement for about two hundred metres before coming to a stop
And stayed down.
“Someone go get Tony!” Steve yelled, noticing the rapidly approaching swarm of Doombots nearing Tony’s body.
Thor got to him first and ripped off the faceplate. “Man of Iron, do you hear me?”
Tony’s eyes were closed, his nose and lip bleeding. Thor moved his hand under Tony’s nose to check if he was breathing and smacked a bot away with Mjolnir at the same time.
“He does not wake,” Thor announced, turning to fight the bots as they came.
Rhodey landed soon after Thor. “JARVIS?”
“Vitals holding steady. Emergency personnel have been contacted.” JARVIS said from Tony’s suit, and that was what stirred Tony.
“No, no medical,” he mumbled, blinking awake. He groaned softly, squinting up at Rhodey.
“Where does it hurt?” he asked, kneeling down beside his friend.
“Everything. Fuck,” Tony moaned. He let out a breath that sounded more like a hiss.
“Doom escaped. All Doombots neutralized,” Steve said through the comms. “Iron Man?”
“Alive and conscious, for how long, dunno,” Rhodey answered for Tony.
Tony just grimaced and tried to move.
“Stay, my friend.” Thor gently put his hand on Tony’s chest. “Our SHIELD brothers will be here soon.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he retorted.
Thor laughed. “You joke. That is how we know you will not be defeated!”
“Yeah, not kicking the bucket anytime soon,” Tony said. “JARVIS, release.”
The suit opened, and Tony sat up with difficulty. Thor kept his hand on his back to support him while Tony winced and clutched at his left side, barely moving his right arm.
“War Machine, what’re we looking at?” Steve asked.
“I’m conscious, you can ask me,” Tony said, rolling his eyes even though Steve couldn’t see him.
“You tend to downplay quite a bit,” he pointed out.
“Whatever.”
“I’d say right arm injury, left side ribs, concussion, unless the unconsciousness is from the sudden deceleration,” Rhodey relayed into his comm. “Little bit of blood. Doesn’t look too serious. He’s sitting up.”
“He is right here.”
“Come on. I shall carry you to the healers,” Thor said, reaching under Tony’s legs.
Tony pulled away and winced. “No. Don’t wanna be looked at.”
“You are injured!” Thor exclaimed.
“It’s my birthday, Thor,” Tony pouted. “Respect my wishes. It only comes once a year.”
“And injury does not care, my friend,” Thor said, smiling gently.
Tony slumped in defeat, knowing that he was beaten.
Two hours later, Tony was on the couch on his floor, Happy, Pepper and Rhodey all giving him company. Looped up on some pain meds, Tony was finding it difficult to hold his head up, and soon Pepper sighed and just sat beside him and put his head on her lap. His right arm was in a sling after a dislocated elbow, a pack of ice was resting against his fractured ribs on his left, and he had sunglasses on to keep his headache from the concussion from worsening- it really was a look.
“I bet this takes the cake for your worst birthday,” Rhodey joked, pouring himself some of the leftover wine.
“Nah, his thirty-first was bad too,” Happy said with a shudder, taking a glass as well. “But this one has gotta be up there.”
“S’was good,” Tony mumbled. “One of my best.”
“Do you know what you’re saying right now?” Pepper said with a smile, pushing his hair out of his face.
“They made me a cake,” Tony said, his voice a bit slurred.
“Yeah, but you also nearly died,” Rhodey pointed out.
“They made it for me,” Tony pressed. “Clint called us a… a family.”
“Ah,” Pepper said, nodding knowingly. “And that makes it the best birthday?”
“Always wanted a family,” Tony said, getting choked up. “Best present ever.”
“Yeah?” Rhodey said, a small smile on his face. He turned to grin at Happy as well, who was mirroring his expression.
“And therefore, the best birthday ever,” Tony concluded.