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"I'm gonna get you!" My best friend Brendon yelled at me with a huge grin spread across his face.
"No you're not!" I yelled back while running away from him.
Brendon isn't the best runner in the world and I ran as fast as I could, but with my size 4 feet, I stood no chance. After about 30 meters, he tackled me and we both fell down onto a couch. He started tickling me, but it wasn't clear who was laughing harder, him or me.
After a minute or so, he stopped and sat up straight to catch his breath. I spread myself across the couch and placed my head in his lap.
While trying to catch my breath, I looked around the room. We were actually at a TV studio. The David Letterman TV studio to be exact. Brendon and the other guys from Panic were doing an interview later that day and they were being given some guidelines and information.
Jon and Spencer were standing aside the famous desk talking with David Letterman himself and Ryan was standing next to a camera, watching us with a smile on his face, before turning back to the guy standing next to him.
"You guys are such kids sometimes!" Spencer said while walking past us towards Ryan and Jon nodded in agreement.
"Shut up, Spence!" Brendon and me yelled in unison, which caused us to start laughing again.
"Oh, just let them be Spencer. It's always nice to see young people in love," David said while following them of stage.
This yet again caused Brendon to laugh.
"Shit, our secret is out..." he said while faking a worried expression.
Then he turned to me and joked, "Don't worry, I won't let the crazy fangirls get to you when they hear about us. I love you way too much for that, you know that, right?"
I faked a smile and said, "I know Bren. I love you too!"
But as soon as Brendon turned his head away to talk to the director of the show, who had walked up to the stage and was now standing next to the couch, my smile vanished.
I looked aside and my eyes caught Ryan's. Our eyes locked for just a second before I smiled at him again, but I knew it was too late. From the look on Ryan's face, I knew he had just discovered my secret.
You see, Brendon and I have been best friends for four years now. From the first moment I met the guys, we just seemed to have this click. Since he is on the road with Panic most of the time and I am still in college, we don't get to spend much time together. But when my last classes were over and summer started, Brendon invited me to spend some time with him and the guys while they were on tour.
It had been a great month and a half so far, but after a couple of weeks, I noticed there had changed something between Brendon and me. I caught myself staring at him and completely forgetting about the world around me more than once. When he touched me, that spot would be tingling for a long time afterwards and when he looked at me, it felt as if my stomach was jumping up and down.
It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized I had fallen for my best friend. At times, when we were alone, I really had to try very hard not to jump him. Which was why I started to avoid being alone with him.
But Brendon was too busy to notice that things had changed. He always seemed to be on stage or doing interviews or just keeping himself occupied with random things. And when we went out to party, he would always end up with making out with some long, skinny, fake blonde girl on stilettos and with a dress that accentuated every curve of her perfect body. I hated those girls for being around Brendon all the time, but I hated them even more because they made me realize that me and Brendon would never work. Being the tiny average looking brown haired girl next door type, I couldn't really compete with those girls.
Which is why I had decided to never ever tell him, or anyone else for that matter, how I felt.
And now Ryan had found out with only one look at me.
Suddenly feeling the need to get some fresh air, I got up from the couch, told Brendon I needed a bathroom break and walked out of the studio.
When I stepped back out of the ladies room, Ryan was standing in the hallway, leaning onto the opposite wall.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said while walking past him, heading for the boys dressing room.
He didn't say a word, but when I entered the room and sat on one of the couches, he walked in right behind me and sat down as well.
Avoiding his gaze by looking down at my Chuch Taylors, I repeated, "I really don't want to talk about it."
"But I did see things right over there?" he answered while still trying to catch my eyes.
I realized he wouldn't stop about it before I admitted it, so I sighed and said, "Ryan, you are the shy and silent guy, who doesn't talk much but has always seen everything, of course you did see things right. So yes, I have fallen for the charms of Brendon Boyd Urie. Fallen hard that is. But I don't want him to know, okay?"
"You mean you are not planning on telling him?" Ryan asked with surprise in his voice.
"Of course not! You have seen the girls he hooks up with when we go out. Apparently, I'm not exactly his type. More the opposite. I don't want to ruin our friendship by making the mistake of telling him that how I feel, Ryan. I don't want to lose him over something that stupid!" I said before sighing in frustration.
Ryan opened his mouth to answer me, but then the door opened and Brendon walked in.
He stopped and looked from me to Ryan and back, but before he could say anything, Ryan got up and headed out. When he got at the door, he turned around to face me and said, "I still think you should. And just for the record, I don't think it's stupid at all," before turning around again and walking away.
"What was that all about?" Brendon asked while grabbing himself a can of Red Bull of the table in the corner of the room.
"Oh, nevermind, we just had a stupid discussion," I answered without looking at him.
When I did look up to him, I could read in his eyes that he didn't believe me, but he apparently decided not to push the subject and said, "You want something to drink as well?"
-x-
A few hours later I was back at the studio, standing next to where the audience was seated while Jon was talking about how great it felt to be back on tour again. The guys had been on stage for a good twenty minutes now, so I knew their interview was almost over.
Mr. Letterman laughed at Jon answered and then turned to the audience and said; "So, before we watch Panic's video for their newest single That Green Gentleman, how about we let you guys ask some questions?"
The people around me cheered and I smiled. This was going to be fun. I loved it when the guys got questions from their fans, those interviews were always the best.
One of the tech guys walked over to a girl who was sitting a few rows aside of me and handed her a mic.
"Hi guys, my name is Lacey and I'm from Indiana," she said.
"Hi Lacey!" The guys answered in unison.
'Yes, this is definitely going to be fun!" I tought as my smile grew bigger.
But then her question made my smile disappear in no time. "I actually have a question for Brendon. Me and my friend Celina," she said while pointing at the girl sitting next to her. "have seen a lot of pictures of you with blonde model like girls lately. So we were wondering if they are really what you are looking for in a girl ?"
As my smile disappeared and I looked at the stage, I saw Ryan quickly glanced in my direction before turning to Brendon to hear his answer.
I looked at Brendon as well. He waited a second or two before answering.
"Yes, they are everything I am looking for in a girl," he said without any hint of sarcasm.
Even though I somewhat expected an answer like that, it still felt like a nightmare. I couldn't watch this any longer. I turned around while I heard Jon saying something which he tried to hide with a fake cough and walked out of the studio.
In the hallway, I took a deep breath. "There's no use in being upset about it. You knew this was how it was going to be," I said trying to calm myself down.
I took another deep breath and decided I could use a break from everything right now. So I walked back to the dressing room and grabbed my laptop out of the backpack I had brought to the studio. I logged onto Mibba, one of my favorite websites, and drifted off into my own world.
After about 30 minutes, I noticed I had one new message. I clicked on my messagebox to see what it was.
The topic read 'RE: Brendon One Shots' and the message contained a link and said 'I hope you enjoy this... it's a little strange, yes, but i think it's still pretty good. :D.'
Deep down, I knew I would only feel worse afterwards, but I couldn't help but click the link.
While reading the story, I started smiling. This was so cute! I was just about to hit the reply button to tell how much I liked the story when I heard a voice behind me say, "Wait, did I just got called BrennyBear?!"
Luckily my laptop was standing on the table in front of me, because I turned so quickly it would have definitely fallen if it had been on my lap.
Apparently, I was so caught up in my own world I hadn't heard the door open. Brendon was standing behind me and he had clearly been reading the story as well.
His expression was unreadable when he asked me, "What's this all about?"
My cheeks turned to something in between red and deep red.
"It's just some stupid fanfic," I answered while quickly closing my laptop, even though I knew it was useless, since he had almost read the entire story.
"It's a story about you and me falling in love. That doesn't exactly sound as some stupid fanfic to me ! And since when do you read stuff like that?" He paused for a moment and then asked, "Are you in love with me, Lauren?"
Still staring at my laptop, I said for the third time that day, "I don't want to talk about it."
"You don't want to talk about it? Fine. Then at least let me show you something," he said while suddenly sounding very calm.
I looked up at him, surprised by the sudden change in his voice.
For some reason, it suddenly hit me that we were still all alone in the room. "What? Where are the other guys Bren?" I asked him.
"They are fine, giving out autographs or something like that. Now are you coming or not?" he said while standing in the doorway waiting for me.
Knowing I probably had no other choice, I got up and followed him.
Without saying a word, we walked until we reached the end of the hallway. Instead of turning left to the studio, we walked to the right until we finally reached a door. I looked at it and saw a tag saying Editing Room. Brendon knocked on the door before walking in.
The guy who was sitting there staring at some screens turned around and smiled when he saw us entering.
"Ah, mister Urie, nice to see you. Mister Ross informed me I might be expecting you. And this is Miss James I presume?" He said while looking at us.
I nodded and flashed him a weak smile while wondering what the hell we were doing here.
"I leave you to alone then," he said while getting up and whispering something to Brendon before he walked out.
Brendon nodded and watched him exit the room before turning to me. "Have a seat," he said while waving his hand at the chair right in front of the biggest monitor.
Still confused, I sat in the chair and watched him as he pushed some buttons.
Suddenly the taping of the show started playing. I looked at Brendon as I heard the Lacey girl ask her question again.
"Brendon, I..." I started but got silenced by his finger on my lips.
"Just watch," he said.
Trying to ignore the tingling feeling on my lips, I looked at the monitor.
"Yes, they are everything I am looking for in a girl," I heard Brendon say for the second time that day.
Then Jon did the fake cough thing again, but this time I realized he was actually saying "Liar!" and I saw Brendon turn a little red.
The camera turned to Jon and I heard David Letterman ask, "Care to elaborate on that, Jon?"
Jon smiled and said, "I think Brendon could better elaborate on this."
The camera turned back to Brendon, whose cheeks were deep red by now and the voice of David Letterman said, "Brendon?"
Brendon closed his eyes for a moment before starting.
"They are not what I look for at all. Not to offend them or anything, but I guess I just need them as a reason to get lost into my own world. I'm actually looking for something pretty much the opposite. I don't care that much about looks, I just want a girl who can make me laugh and with who I can do crazy stuff. A girl who can make me feel better by just being around and who I can hold close when she's not feeling okay, making me feel like I'm her hero. I'm looking for a girl that understands me without words, with just one look or gesture, even when we haven't seen each other in a while."
He paused for a few seconds and then said, "Lately, I have been hiding in my own world. When I'm not busy performing or doing interviews, I have been hanging around with unknown blondes on stilettos, or doing stuff I haven't done in years. I have even been reading books."
The crowd laughed at that last remark, but Brendon didn't seem to notice. He didn't even seem to realize he was still in the studio.
"But I guess it's time to come out that world now. I realize it can ruin everything, but I can't keep it a secret any longer. And she deserves to know the truth."
He turned his face and I realized he was looking at where I had been standing before I walked away. I also realized I had seen hope in his eyes, which now quickly faded as I heard Ryan's voice from aside, saying, "She left after you told them the blondes were everything you wished for."
After that, the screen went black.
I just sat there for a minute, staring at the black screen. I realized that this was everything I wanted, but I didn't know if I believed what I had seen.
Then I heard a voice coming from behind me. Brendon was singing.
Well he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love
I turned around and looked at him. I noticed the hope in his eyes had returned.
I couldn't think of any better way to make him realize this time his hope wouldn't be fading, so I sang to him in response.
Best friends,
Ex friends till the end.
Better off as lovers
And not the other way around.
The hope in his eyes was replaces by happiness and before I knew it, his lips crashed down on mine.
My hands found their way into his hair as I felt him put his arms around my neck.
When we finally broke apart, we both had a huge smile on our face.
He rested his forehead against mine and his beautiful brown eyes locked with mine.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We stood there for a moment and then he said, "Come on, let's go get the guys out of their misery, I'm pretty sure they are waiting in tension right now."
We walked into the hallway and back to the dressing room with our fingers tangled.
Right before he opened the door, I pulled him closed and whispered, "You can be my hero, baby !" which made us both laugh.
He planted a sweet kiss on my forehead and for the first time in a while, I felt perfectly happy.