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“Take the knife by the gold handle,” Piandao says in what he hopes is his firmest but most gentle voice. He doesn’t want to hurt his newest student’s feelings because he’s very sensitive.
Piandao is excited by this new student and the prospects of training another potential swordmaster. But, if he were being completely honest with himself, this one was more of a challenge than he’d anticipated. For one thing, there’s a language barrier--
“Are you giving sword lessons to Hawky again, Master Piandao?”
“Yes,” Piandao says behind a sigh. Fat always seems rather bored with and annoyed by Piandao’s interactions with Sokka's hawk. “He needs to learn to do something other than poop on the floor and stare at me all day long so I'm teaching him the way of the sword.”
“Riiiight...” Fat groans. “You know, Master Piandao, there are other ways to alleviate boredom, preferably ways that don't involve sword fighting with members of the animal kingdom.”
Piandao is indignant. “I'm not sword fighting. I'm just teaching him a few tricks.”
“With a sword...”
“With a knife, actually.”
“All a sword is is a really long knife, Master Piandao. Anyway, I was thinking. I should look up some recipes for grilled hawk.”
Hawky squawks his dissatisfaction because Fat never supports him during his lessons.
“Give him time, Hawky. He'll come around. When you defeat your first opponent in battle, Fat will be the first one to congratulate you on your victory.”
“No, I won't,” Fat drones. “And if you think I'm sparring with a bird, Master Piandao, think again!” he hisses.
We’ll see about that, Piandao thinks to which Fat responds with “No, we won’t!”
“That's not nice, is it, Hawky? Pay Fat no mind. You'll feel a lot better when you see what I've made you. I made you a special dagger using some of the material left over from Sokka’s meteorite. The next time you see Sokka, he'll be so proud of you for acquiring battle skills. You and Sokka. In open combat. Rising to the challenge and seizing the day!”
“Or he'll sell you for half of what he paid for you and get on with his life,” Fat tells Hawky.
“Shokka!” Piandao declares, throwing his hand on his hip in that annoyingly smug way he does when he thinks he’s just hatched a really good idea..
“Shokka?” Fat questions, raising a skeptical brow at his master.
“That’s my battle name for Sokka and Hawky’s team-up. Or I could go with Shokky? Or maybe even Hawkka? What do you think?”
Fat groans again, looking at Hawky with pure disdain. Since Sokka pawned him off on Piandao, Piandao’s been doing that thing he does where he treats animals like people. Hawky even has his own room in the castle. This is worse than that time Piandao let the turtle ducks live inside and they pooped all over the carpets and shredded the tapestries.
Hawky lets out a sound that sounds like something between a squawk and a groan. If Piandao didn't know better, He’d say Hawky was imitating Fat. Then he shakes his feathers at Piandao.
“Hawky! Concentrate on what you're doing! Ignore Fat. He's just trying to distract you.”
“Perhaps his feathers will make a fine duster,” Fat muses.
“He's just jealous, Hawky, because you have a handsome new knife and he doesn't.”
Hawky stares dumbly at Piandao for a few minutes. Piandao is convinced Hawky understands him.
Hawky takes the dagger's gold handle into his beak then flies off to his perch in the corner. Several confused moments pass between student and Master. Then Hawky squawks at his own reflection in the window because he’s just a bird before returning to Piandao, only to drop the fancy dagger in front of him.
Piandao sighs when the blade clanks against the floor at his feet.
“We had this discussion yesterday, Hawky. If you're gonna let loose of your weapon, you should throw it at your opponent's head, not toss it on the ground at his feet.”
“You heard him, Hawky. Master Piandao wants you to throw your knife at his head. Right between the eyes, Hawky!”
Hawky lets out an ear-splitting shriek that echoes against the walls of the large, open room, causing them to wince.
Piandao points an accusing finger at his newest student. “Watch your mouth, Hawky! You're never going to be a master if you don't change your attitude,” Piandao warns as three runny blobs of poop splat onto the floor next to his feet.
Vexation pulls Piandao’s mouth into a frown while Hawky blinks back at him, unapologetic over having soiled his carpet. He stares back at Piandao like he's daring him to do something about it.
Piandao lays a piteous gaze upon his loyal but utterly ruthless butler.
“Fat? Could you please clean--”
“No. Perhaps, instead of teaching Hawky the way of the sword, you should teach him the way of the bathroom?”