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He woke up late at night, not remembering that he had fallen asleep. His fur blanket was half on the ground and he shivered as a gust of cold air hit his naked body. He got out of bed, put on a shirt and tried to shut the window as best he could.
He had had that dream again. And the anguish and fear he felt upon awakening seemed so real it made his chest tighten.
"Close that window. It's fucking cold!"
Seoho rolled his eyes, it was amazing how annoying Woojin could be even half asleep as he was.
"It's broken, you know it."
With a grunt Woojin got out of bed, picked up his clothes from the floor and got dressed.
"You can't even sleep in this shack," he muttered as he slammed the door out.
Seoho watched his husband leave, he said he didn't have the money to pay a blacksmith to fix that damn window but he always had enough money to spend at the village inn.
He was close to sunrise and he knew that after that dream he would not be able to go back to sleep so he took the opportunity to remove the blankets from the bed that smelled of sweat and sex.
As he busied himself he wondered for the umpteenth time who those boys might be. In the dream there were always five and he had the feeling that he knew them but he was sure he had never seen them. Maybe they were just figments of his imagination or maybe he was going crazy. Which was not unlikely; anyone would have gone crazy having to deal with Woojin all the time.
In the middle of the morning a village meeting was called, Seoho reached the square when it was almost over earning the glares of many. He didn't see Woojin anywhere in the crowd and he wouldn't be surprised if he was sleeping under a table at the inn.
"Tonight a pack of werewolves came to our monastery and asked for hospitality" one of the elders began, people began to murmur and Seoho himself was surprised by those words. It was not a common thing for a pack to approach a human village and it was even less common for them to ask for hospitality. He had heard that there was no good blood between the packs of the south and the north and perhaps that was what had pushed them to get so close to humans. They must surely have been desperate.
"We talked for a long time and we elders decided to accept them in our village for a short time."
"But they are monsters!"
"We have to send them away!"
"Our children will be in danger!"
Voices hovered over each other but it wasn't hard to understand what people wanted.
The elder raised his hand and everyone fell silent.
"They already know what they risk if they dare to harm someone in the village! But our God teaches us to be kind and so we will; they will sleep in one of the old huts and in return they will hunt for us. They are young and strong and they will be able to help us to repair the monastery and work in the fields "
Hospitality, mh? More like exploitation... Seoho thought as he made his way through the tide of people and headed home, he had better things to do than listen to the chatter of an old hypocrite.
The first thing he did was go to the river to wash the blankets, he didn't know why but he had always been very sensitive to smells and Woojin smelled badly when he sweated. The cold water made him shiver but in return made him feel a little more awake. With a few hours of sleep last night, he felt more tired than when he had gone to bed. He had never been a great sleeper but in the last period he could never sleep for more than four hours, luckily it was not yet his turn to work in the fields otherwise he would have risked falling asleep among the plants.
He smiled, the village already considered him a slacker but he would have liked to see the shocked faces of the others if they had really found him asleep in the middle of a field. Woojin would have died of embarrassment and that alone made it a great idea.
He squeezed the sheets and threw them into the basket, he was about to leave when he had the sensation of being watched, he turned and saw him.
The boy was near the entrance to the woods and stared at him, Seoho blinked repeatedly convinced he was having a hallucination.
That was one of the boys from his dream.
It couldn't be true, the lack of sleep was making him imagine things. There was no other explanation.
He took a step back when he saw the boy approaching, he wanted to turn around and run away but something stopped him. He was assailed by a feeling that he could hardly recognize.
Nostalgia.
But nostalgia for what?
"Geonhak!"
The boy turned and Seoho felt himself faint; even the boys who came out of the woods were identical to those in his dream.
He was definitely going crazy.
Yet even that voice sounded familiar.
With an enormous effort he turned and forced himself to leave.
Geonhak. That name continued to haunt him. Where had he heard it before? And why were the boys from his dream in his village? Though perhaps the right question was why he had dreamed of real people.
Was it one of those visions the monks bragged about so much? But theirs never came true.
Does that mean the rest of the dream would come true too? Would those disgusting, sharp-toothed creatures attack his village?
"What the fuck is this burning smell?!"
Seoho widened his eyes and hurried to remove the meat from the fire, the edges were a little blackened but luckily the damage was not serious. He felt Woojin's gaze pierce his back, decided to ignore it and put the meat on the table.
"What is this crap?"
"Dinner," Seoho replied dryly, putting the little rice he had received as a daily ration into the bowls.
The slap caught him off guard, it was not the first time that Woojin hit him but he was so distracted that he didn't even notice that his husband had approached him. He felt his cheek burn but gave him no weight and continued to set the table.
“I don't eat that crap! Cook it again and do it properly "
“This is all we have. If you don't like it, you can always fast, the monks say it's good for the soul "
The second slap came as expected and Seoho did nothing to avoid it, he always felt a vague sense of satisfaction in provoking Woojin. Not to mention that if he could make him angry to the right point he would be able to avoid sex and that was his only target. He hated feeling Woojin’s hands on him, he hated feeling him inside of him, he hated the thought of risking getting pregnant with his child.
The night before he hadn't been able to escape him but tonight he was determined to succeed.
“Do you think you can be so funny? If I hadn't agreed to marry you, now you'd be a whore in the brothel! "
But I ended up being a whore for you… he was just about to say it out loud when a movement outside the window caught his attention.
Someone was entering the next hut that had been abandoned for years, it was dark but Seoho was able to perfectly distinguish Geonhak’s figure.
What was he doing there? Had he followed him?
Woojin had also turned.
"I can’t believe it! They really put those fucking wolves to sleep near my house "
"W ... Wolves?"
“Are you stupid as well as sterile? Didn't you hear the elder's speech this morning? "
Seoho pursed his lips in a thin line, if he had a plate or a vase in his hands he would have broken it on that great asshole’s head.
When Woojin went out of the hut Seoho did not have the courage to follow him, normally the husband's foolish actions did not touch him but this time he knew that he would not be able to bear the shame and he did not understand why. The wolves were bad things, the ones who didn't mind attacking the humans they met and there was nothing wrong with treating them like monsters. Yet something in him told him it was wrong, terribly wrong.
“Hey you! Why don't you go back to the woods like good beasts.” Woojin's words bothered him more than they should.
He slowly looked out the door and saw them, there were all five of them.
Geonhak stared at him and Seoho looked back. He felt happy, as he did not remember ever having been. Woojin's screams were now just a background, his instinct was screaming for him to reach Geonhak and hug him.
Something began to appear in Seoho's mind; it was a village, he could hear the murmur of voices around him but everything was blurry. He saw Geonhak reach him, smiling, he felt his hands on him and the smell of mint around him.
Hwanwoong's cry roused him.
How did he know his name?
He saw his husband try to punch what appeared to be the youngest of the group, but was stopped by another boy.
Youngjo suggested a voice within him.
Seoho cursed his husband with all his strength, approached him and took him by the arm.
"Let's go home. It was the elders' decision, you can't dispute it" he whispered, trying to drag him away while Youngjo kept an eye on him.
What he had not foreseen was the anger that had seized Woojin, who with a brutal movement he pushed Seoho on the ground. The impact was so violent that it took his breath away, he felt Woojin get on top of him and braced himself for the pain that would come but surprisingly it didn't.
“Geonhak! Stop! "
He opened his eyes that he had not noticed he had closed and sat up, he had time to see Youngjo hold back Geonhak, while his husband ran away, before being seized by a wave of nausea.
He doubled over and threw up.
A hand gently massaged his back.
“It's okay, Seoho. We are here, we found you, now you are safe "
"H ... how do you know my name?" he asked.
“Shh, it's okay. We will explain everything "
Seoho closed his eyes abruptly and groaned, his head seemed to want to explode.
"Shit, he's bleeding"
The last thing Seoho felt before he passed out was a minty smell.
Smoke.
Burnt meat.
Blood.
Death.
They were the only smells he could perceive, the village was now nothing more than a cemetery and he could only hope that the others were safe somewhere.
He entered the first building he saw and laid Hwanwoong on the ground,the wound seemed to have stopped bleeding but the shaking breath of his best friend worried him.
"Le... leave me here"
"Don’t even say it, Hwanwoong."
“I'm slo… slowing you down. Save yourself, at least you"
A shrill cry put him on alert, if a Helios found them they were doomed.
Seoho. Seoho, can you hear me?
Geonhak! Where are you? Hwanwoong is wounded, the Helios are approaching.
We are coming. Hold on!
The scream made Seoho's skin crawl. The acrid smell of those monsters was too close, they had no escape.
“Hwanwoong. Hwanwoong, look at me "
The boy opened his eyes with difficulty, Seoho knelt in front of him and took his face in his hands.
“Geonhak and the others are on their way here. I'll try to get the Helios away from here but you have to promise to stay awake, okay? "
Hwanwoong shook his head and grabbed Seoho's wrist with what little strength he had left. "They'll kill you."
Seoho just smiled and kissed his friend on the forehead. He went out and he turned into his werewolf form.
The he ran.
Seoho jumped up, regretting it as soon as he was hit by a twinge of pain in his head. What the hell was that dream? Why had he dreamed of turning into a wolf? Why did it all feel so damn real?
He tried to get out of bed but he was seized by dizziness and if someone hadn't grabbed him he would have ended up on the ground.
"You're awake" said a deep voice "How do you feel?"
Seoho's heart started beating madly, he had missed that voice so much. Without even realizing what he was doing he laid his head on the boy's shoulder and hugged him, he had no idea why he was doing it but every fiber of his body wanted that contact.
Geonhak stiffened at first but then hugged him as if he didn't want to let him go anymore.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
"About what?"
He asked that question purely by reflex but he didn't care about the answer, the only thing that mattered at that moment was that in that embrace he felt at home.
The door opened but neither of them broke the embrace until they heard someone clear his throat. Seoho was still unstable so Geonhak helped him to sit up on the bed and put a blanket over his shoulders.
"How do you feel, Seoho?"
"Okay, my head hurts"
Hwanwoong nodded and put a steaming cup of tea in his hands. “Drink it, it will help you with the headache. Yesterday, when that human" he pronounced the word human as if it were the most disgusting thing in the world "threw you to the ground you hit your head, you have a nasty cut and but nothing that cannot be solved with a little rest"
Seoho looked at him and turned the cup over in his hands, it was all so strange, they were talking as if they had known each other for a lifetime and yet he knew he had never met them except in his dreams.
“Why do you know me? Why do I dream of you all the time? "
"Do you ... dream about us?" Hwanwoong asked, surprised.
Seoho nodded, Geonhak's face seemed to light up with pure happiness.
"Drink, then we'll talk about it," Geonhak told him sitting down next to him.
A few hours later they were all gathered in the bedroom, some of them had to go hunting for the village and not knowing the territory they had taken longer than expected.
Geonhak had stayed with him and had prevented him from getting out of bed, so they stayed together in the bed hugging each other.
“You said you dream about us. What do you know about us? "
“Only your names. Dreams are always confused and there are those monsters who- "
"Monsters?" Youngjo asked
“Ugly, bald with gray skin and pointed teeth. I think ..." Seoho thought about it for a few seconds "I think they're called Helios? "
“Yes, that's what they're called. Do you remember anything about them?"
Seoho shook his head.
Youngjo exchanged a glance with Geonhak, Seoho waited for him to continue and explain the nature of those monsters but it was Geonhak who spoke.
“The helios are ancient creatures, nobody knows what they are or what they once were. What we do know is some northern humans have figured out how to control them and are using them to hunt down any non-human creatures. Four years ago they attacked our village."
“So is that why you are here? Has your village been destroyed?"
"Our village" said Keonhee, it was the first time he spoke "you are one of us, hyung"
Seoho looked at them one by one. What Keonhee said could not be true, he had always lived there. He had never left that village and he was sure of that.
"I know you are confused" Hwanwoong said softly "Your memories, the real ones, have been blocked and false memories have been put in their place."
Seoho tensed "W ... what?"
“We don't know who did it or how they did it, but you're not the first wolf whose memory has been changed. We found others while we were looking for you "
"Were you looking for me?"
Geonhak took his hand and looked at him “Don't tell me you didn't feel anything when you saw me. Don't tell me you don't feel like you know us "
"I ... I" Seoho swallowed, tried to sort out his feelings about him but the more he tried, the more confused he became.
“I think I know you, but that can't be true. I have never left the village, my parents have never even been to the next village- "
“No, what you remember as your parents are false memories. Your real parents are Seo Changbin and Hwang Hyunjin. Your name is Seo Seoho and the village where you grew up is the village of the Red Moon "
"Wait, wait ... you mean I'm a wolf?"
"Yes" Geonhak answered "And you are my mate"
Seoho's eyes widened, that situation was too much to bear. He couldn't accept that all his memories of him were a lie. He got out of bed ignoring the feeling of nausea that assailed him. “I have to go home. What you say is impossible "
He walked to the door, Dongju tried to stop him but Hwanwoong shook his head and the boy took a step back.
Before leaving he turned to Geonhak, he could see the pain deform his face and for some strange reason he started to feel his pain. He was tempted to back off and hold him in his arms.
“Please don't go. Don't abandon me again. I love you, I can't live without you. Joochan keeps asking why his mother doesn't come home, I- "
Joochan. Joochan. Joochan.
That name echoed in his mind bringing something back to the surface.
"Mommy!"
A child ran to meet him, Seoho knelt down and picked him up.
"Look what dad bought me," said the boy happily, placing a squirrel-shaped puppet in front of Seoho's face.
"Dad says he looks like you"
Seoho laughed and kissed his son's cheek.
“Dad doesn't know what he says,” he said to the boy puting at Geonhak who had joined them.
Seoho gasped, countless memories crowded his mind and the headache became unbearable.
He had a son. He had a son and had forgotten him.
He vaguely registered movements around him, someone yelled something and felt himself being picked up.
Dongju, at least he thought it was him with the delicate scent of roses, brought something to his mouth which he immediately pushed aside.
"Drink it, it will help relieve the pain"
The room began to spin and the nausea returned. Had he taken a second hit on the head or what?
"You're an idiot!"
Geonhak looked down and bit the inside of his cheek.
"I told you to be careful! He was already recovering his memory by himself. Why did you have to talk about Joochan?"
"What was I supposed to do? Let him go back to that bastard? Lose him again and shut up?"
"He was just scared! Have you seen what happens if memories are forced, do you want this for Seoho?"
"No. Of course not. I ..."
Geonhak couldn't finish the sentence. He had acted on impulse when he talked about Joochan, because he knew that if there was one person Seoho loved more than anything else in the world it was their baby boy. He wanted Seoho to remember, he wanted to go home with him and be a happy family again. He had been looking for him for almost four years and when he had seen him try to leave panic had assaulted him, he could not lose him again.
Youngjo sighed "I know it was hard for you, it was hard for all of us, but awakening his memories like that could have driven him crazy. You saw what happened in Hongjoong."
"I'm sorry. I just ... I didn't want him to go away. I can't take it again, Hyung."
"It's done now. Dongju is with him, we just have to wait and hope for the best"
When they found the first wolf of their pack in a remote human village they were surprised, when they discovered that he did not remember anything and that his memories were wrong they panicked.
They had accompanied him to their temporary camp and Seungmin, their head healer, had done everything he could to understand what happened to the poor omega. The more time passed and the more wolves they found in that same state, some of them did not remember and often refused to follow them while others had already started to remember something.
If the memories came back on their own everything would be fine but if you forced someone to remember you risked making him crazy. Hongjoong was the worst case they had seen. They had found him almost on the border with the North but he had not wanted to follow them home. When Seonghwa, his mate, found out, he ran to meet him; he tried to make him remember, telling him about their happiest moments and about their children. Hongjoong's mind, however, had not reacted well; initially he had started to say nonsense, true memories merged with false ones, and he started to not recognize places and people. In a few days he was completely mad. Since that day all the healers in the pack, including Dongju, had tried to shed some light on why some seemed to recover their memories on their own and others not. Seungmin tried to find a cure for Hongjoong but it was all vain and the following year they found him dead; he had hanged himself in the forest.
When Seoho regained consciousness the pain was gone, he saw from the window that the sun was already high. How long had he slept?
He got out of bed and found he was much better than the night before. The wound on his head was healed.
Wolves heal faster, said a voice inside him that Seoho finally recognized as his inner wolf.
It was all true, now his memories were clearer and even if they were not completely back he remembered a lot. Which led to a new problem; he was Geonhak's mate, he loved him, yet he had allowed Woojin to touch him without even resisting him. He had betrayed Geonhak and felt so dirty that the very reflection of his face on the glass of the window disgusted him.
"I can feel your anguish from the woods"
Seoho turned abruptly and blushed, Geonhak was there, shirtless, in all his glory.
"Do you like what you see?"
If possible Seoho blushed even more "I don't like it at all!"
Geonhak laughed and Seoho's heart melted, he had missed that sound so much.
Listening to his instincts, he approached his partner and kissed him, they broke apart only when both were short of oxygen.
"God how I missed you Seoho" Geonhak murmured before kissing him again.
"I'm sorry," Seoho whispered and Geonhak looked at him confused.
"I forgot you. I forgot you and J ... Joochan" the thought of having abandoned his child caused a lump in his throat "I forgot the others, our pack-"
"Stop it! It's not your fault," Geonhak said, hugging him and giving him chaste kisses on the cheeks.
"How ... How is Joochan?"
"He's fine but he misses his mother so much. I didn't want to tell him we found you before I knew in what state you were. He has grown a lot and he has the same smile as you "
Seoho felt tears running down his cheeks, all that time Woojin had been trying to get him pregnant and he had always accused him of being sterile and instead he had a child. Joochan's memory was the most vivid of all, his birth, his first word and his beautiful smile. By now he must have been almost 8 years old and for four of them Seoho wasn’t there.
“It's okay, you will hug him again soon. Tomorrow at dawn we will leave to go home "
"He won't let me go," Seoho whispered more to himself than to the other as he wiped away his tears.
"Who? That bastard?"
Seoho nodded.
"I'll take care of it"
Seoho widened his eyes staring at him, Geonhak, despite his fearful appearance, had never been an aggressive or violent person.
"If you think I'll let a stupid human stop me from taking you home, you're wrong"
"B...but the others in the village will hunt you down if you kill him"
Geonhak shrugged. “Accidents happen, their hunters have filled the woods with traps. A drunkard could die very easily. Especially one who dared to hit my mate"
"I let him have sex with me" he said straight away and it was like taking a weight off his heart, probably Geonhak had already figured it out but he desperately needed to confess it.
"I know. And it doesn't matter, you weren't you. We will be happy again, me you and Joochan, my love "
Woojin did not wait, it was just evening when he began knocking like a madman on the door’s hut. Seoho had heard him arrive long before he knocked and none of them were surprised at his visit or the insults he started shouting when no one opened.
"You don't have to open it, we can take care of it," Hwanwoong said when he saw Seoho head for the door.
"He is more stubborn than you think and if he goes on like this he will attract the whole village"
Geonhak watched his mate and if Keonhee and Dongju hadn't held him back he would have jumped at Woojin as soon as he spat on Seoho’s face..
"Are you opening your legs even for dogs now, you ugly bitch?"
Seoho wiped his cheek, he was so used to being treated like that that he didn't even care anymore.
"Stop it, you're just looking stupid"
“Don't you dare even try to talk to me like that. Move and go home or I'll make you regret to be born”
"No"
Woojin blushed, grabbed Seoho by the arm and started dragging him to their hut. When Seoho managed to free himself, Woojin spun around and started to hit him but he was blocked by Geonhak.
"I advise you not to ever dare to touch him even with a finger, if you want to continue living your stupid life"
"He's my husband, I can do what I want with him," Woojin bellowed.
"He is my mate," Geonhak said in a tone that would have scared anyone.
"He ... is what ?!" an expression of disgust painted on Woojin's face "He is a fucking dog? Did I slept with a dog?!"
Before anyone could say anything Geonhak punched Woojin straight in the face and he fell unconscious.
"I apologize but he deserved it," Geonhak said, noticing the reproachful look that Youngjo gave him.
"If we drag him into the woods and make him disappear, no one will notice," Dongju said.
"And I doubt anyone will bother looking for a drunkard," Keonhee added
“Nobody will make anyone disappear. We don't need a feud with humans right now.” Youngjo said in exasperation.“Let's get our things ready and leave as soon as possible, before someone” and he looked at Geonhak “can make more trouble ”.
Geonhak shrugged and kissed Seoho's cheek, his family was about to get back together and that was the only thing he could think of.
It took almost two weeks of walking to reach the place where they had begun to rebuild their village. Joochan must have recognized the smell of his father because he was waiting for them just outside the village.
"Joo ... Joochan" Seoho whispered as he dropped to his knees and started sobbing. The child took a few minutes to recognize his mother, after all that time he had almost forgotten his smell but not his voice, he ran to meet him and threw himself into the arms of the mother he had finally found.
Geonhak looked at them with wet eyes and joined the embrace. He had hoped and hoped that that scene would come true and now, finally, it was reality.