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Words of affirmation was never Kai’s strong suit. He was much more physical, more material. Words in general were just not him, it didn’t even have to relate to romance.
His boyfriends didn’t seem to have this problem. They often verbally praised one another and they praised back. Not to say Kai didn’t receive any of that praise, but as far as returning it goes... that he did not fulfill.
Kai didn’t think his boyfriends hated his kisses and gifts, but he did fear that maybe his boyfriends were bothered by his lack of words. Jay often let he and the other two verbally know how much they meant to him, Zane returning it with a loving speech of his own and while Cole wasn’t as good with words like Zane, he still made an effort to come up with something.
Kai on the other hand did not. He didn’t even make an effort. While the three gave their sappy statements, Kai usually came back with, “Jay, you dork. You guys are so mushy.” The ‘sappiest’ thing Kai could think of that he has said was “I love you” and that wasn’t even that sappy!
He felt guilty, really. Especially with how loving Jay’s words could be. Part of him worried that maybe his boyfriends weren’t happy with him. Maybe they were better off without him. No, his boyfriends wouldn’t think that of him! What was he saying?
Currently, the fire elemental was at the bow of the bounty. When he managed to get out of that deep overthinking state he was in, the first thing he noticed was how dark it was. When did it get this late? The sun was still above the horizon when he first came outside. Had he really been thinking for that long?
“Kai? What are you doing out here so late? We’ve been waiting for you to come to bed.”
Kai tensed, surprised by the sudden voice, but his body almost immediately relaxed when his brain registered it was his boyfriend, Cole.
He turned his head to spare Cole a look of acknowledgment before his gaze turned back to the dark sky ahead of him. “Sorry. I’ll get to bed soon. Did Jay fall asleep already?”
“No. You know he can’t sleep unless we all give him his goodnight kiss.” Cole chuckled. He walked over to his boyfriend, now at his side. He affectionately wrapped an arm around the shorter boy, pulling him to his chest. He studied the brunette out of the corner of his eye for a few seconds before speaking.
“What’s bothering you, hot shot?”
Kai snapped his head up to look at his mountain of a boyfriend. “What? Why you say that?”
Cole rolled his eyes before looking down at Kai. “You make it seem like I don’t know you. I know something is wrong.”
“Okay, but nothing’s wrong.”
“Sure. You stay out here all by yourself for hours, you don’t come to bed, but nothing is wrong.”
“Whatever.” Kai looked away from his boyfriend and rested the side of his head on Cole’s chest.
Cole was right, there was something bothering him, but it’s not like he could say what it was. He felt so stupid about it, and if he told Cole then he’d probably tell the other two and knowing how talkative Jay could get, everybody else would find out too!
Maybe he could make something up! No, he knew Cole knew him too well, it was painfully obvious, as seen before. Cole would know he was lying.
After almost a minute of silence, Cole spoke up again. “Talk to me, baby.” He spoke so softly.
The earth master brushing some hair out of Kai’s face, the hand sliding down Kai’s cheek, down to his chin and gently turning Kai’s head to look at him.
Kai let Cole’s hand turn his head. He looked up at his boyfriend with sad eyes. “Promise not to make fun?”
Cole nodded once. “Promise.”
Kai took in a rather deep, slightly shaky breath, needing some time to gather his thoughts. “I just... I just feel like- Maybe you guys, I don’t know.” Surprise, surprise. He couldn’t get the words out.
“It’s okay.” Cole cupped his babbling boyfriend’s cheek and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “Take your time.” He reassured. Cole kept his hand on Kai’s cheek, his other arm still securely around the smaller’s waist.
Kai felt some comfort, thanks to the affection. He shut his eyes and leaned into the hand, slightly calloused from all the years of training. When Kai decided he was ready to try and put his thoughts into words again, he opened his eyes and straightened himself a little better.
“It’s just Jay, he- well, all of you I guess. All of you are always so... you guys are always saying something nice to each other and it’s cute, I love you guys, but I don’t know how to do that.” Kai rambled, his eyes already having drifted away from Cole’s.
“Kai,” Cole began. He slowly rubbed his thumb on the others cheek. “Kai, what are you talking about?” There was pity in his voice, sad for his boyfriend, but he was also clearly confused as well.
Kai gave an irritated sigh, not at Cole, but at himself. Why did he have to be like this? He should’ve just kept his mouth shut.
“I mean when you guys get all cute ‘n stuff! Like talking. It’s mostly Jay, but all of you guys do it a-and I... I can’t! I don’t know how to. I don’t know what to say!” Kai rambled. He still wasn’t looking at Cole, much too embarrassed.
Cole was still quite confused. Was Kai saying what he think he was saying? He had to make sure. After some silence due to Cole needing to gather his thoughts, he asked.
“So, hold on- so you think we get upset because you don’t get all mushy with us all the time? Like with your words?” He double checked.
Kai finally looked at Cole again and nodded, confirming Cole’s thoughts.
Cole couldn’t help it, he laughed and shook his head. No way Kai was serious.
Kai was serious. He was not at all expecting this kind of reaction from Cole.
“You promised you wouldn’t make fun!” Kai felt frustrated, and embarrassed. He placed his hands on Cole’s chest and pushed, attempting to get away, but it was no use with just how strong Cole was. In response, Cole wrapped his arms around Kai’s body even more.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Cole apologized through a few more giggles. “I’m not making fun of you, I swear!”
Kai narrowed his eyes at that. “You’re literally laughing at me! You are making fun of me.”
“No! No, baby, no. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at... Okay, maybe I am laughing at you, but wait! Kai, baby, I love you. We all love you, you know that, right?”
“Well, y-yeah! I mean, I hope you guys do.”
“We do, we really do. Kai, we wouldn’t be in this relationship with you if we didn’t want to be with you.” Cole assured him.
“Kai, we’ve been knowing you’re clueless when it comes to figuring out what to say, but that didn’t stop us from loving you. It won’t stop us from loving you.” Cole kissed his forehead. “We love you just how you are, and nothing is gonna change that.”
Kai smiled shyly. “You always know what to say.”
This time it was Cole’s turn to get bashful. “Whatever, just c’mere.”
They shared a loving kiss that was interrupted a few times by some giggling and playful insults that were whispered between the kiss.
“I shoulda came out here sooner if that was the problem. You could’ve been cuddling with us a long time ago.” Cole thought aloud.
“Well why didn’t you?” Kai shot, though there was no venom in his voice, he was mostly curious.
“I wanted to, trust me, and Jay did too, but Zane said maybe not. Something about you needing space and even though we’re in a relationship you still need time to yourself blah blah blah.” Cole vaguely explained.
“He even made me and Jay stay in the room! Mostly cause Jay wanted to keep checking up on you every two seconds. We were waiting for you.” Cole pouted, nuzzling his face into Kai’s neck.
“Aww, Cole, baby. I’m sorry, now I feel bad. Was I... Was I really out here for hours? I know I was kinda out here for a while, but-“
Cole chuckled against the fire elemental’s naturally warm skin. “Nah, I was just exaggerating.” He pulled his face out of its hiding spot to look at his boyfriend. “Only like an hour, hour and a half tops.”
Kai hummed at that. He snuggled into Cole’s chest, wanting that extra comfort and affection. “I’m tired now. Cuddling sounds really good.”
“That’s the first good idea you’ve had. Ever.” Cole teased. He picked his boyfriend up into a bridal style carry.
“Haha. You’re so funny.” Kai rolled his eyes. He turned his body into Cole’s chest. “Hey, if Zane made you guys stay in the room, how’d you convince him to let you go?” He wondered, peeking up at Cole.
“Said I was gonna get us a snack.” Came Cole’s seemingly casual reply.
“Of course you did.” Kai mused. “Y’know, Jay’s gonna be real upset when he sees there’s no snack.”
“I never said it was gonna be an edible snack.” Cole looked down at the boy in his arms and winked.
Kai felt his cheeks instantly heat up that. He didn’t think he would ever get used to his boyfriends’ flirting. “You think you’re smooth, don’t you.” He hid his face in Cole’s chest again, shielding his blushing face from his boyfriend’s gaze.
“Baby, I know I’m smooth.”