Archive of Our Own

The first time Toge meets Yuuta he is nothing more than a boy, seemingly too small for wielding the practice sword at his hip. His dark blue eyes dart as if he’s nervous in Toge’s presence, even though he was raised in the castle in the constant presence of royalty. Atop his head is a mop of black hair that sticks out every which way, like the funny creatures Toge sees down in the tide pools. 

Toge immediately likes him.

"Show some respect, Yuuta," his father- the King and Queen's General- gives his son a gentle push forward. Yuuta looks up at the older man, his face is so pinched and watery that Toge thinks he may start crying. 

Hoping to be encouraging, Toge smiles back, as warm and polite as he can make it, offering a tiny bow to Yuuta.

Yuuta looks startled, like he thinks he’s done something wrong, and quickly dips into a bow to match Toge’s, though much more formal. He bends over in half, staying like that for an uncomfortably long time. The General looks quite satisfied, but Toge is feeling a bit awkward, so he tiptoes across the grass to Yuuta's side and taps him on the shoulder, waving a hand in front of his face. 

He wants to say something, to tell Yuuta he doesn't need to be careful around him, but Toge's embarrassed that his voice would scare him. It sounds warbled and ugly whenever he tries to speak. 

"Ah! Your Highness, I'm sorry," Yuuta mumbles. He snaps up from his bow so quickly that Toge finds it quite funny, watching Yuuta stumble and his face turn red as poppies in bloom. 

"Well then," the General says, placing a hand on both Yuuta and Toge's shoulders. "I have duties to attend to, so I'll leave you boys to it. Yuuta, don't let me down." It's a simple enough phrase, four words that Toge has heard more times than he can count. Toge knows it is a big expectation to live up to, and he studies Yuuta’s face as he watches his father go, trying to see if it bothers him at all.

When they’re finally alone, Toge shoves Yuuta gently in the shoulder, trying to annoy him. 

It’s how he makes friends. 

"H-hello," Yuuta says, avoiding Toge's gaze. 

Well that's not what I want, Toge frowns, scrunching up his face. He gives Yuuta another gentle shove, hoping this time for some sort of reaction. 

"I'm Yuuta," he says. 

I know that, Toge thinks, amused. 

"What should... Um- Prince Inumaki," Yuuta says, tipping his head in Toge's direction, like he doesn't know what to do on his own or without his father.

Toge shakes his head, staring Yuuta down. If they're going to spend a lot of time training together, they're going to be friends. And Toge doesn't like when his friends feel like they have to call him 'prince'. Yuck.

"Uh- no? Prince Toge?" Yuuta says, eyes nervously scanning Toge's face. Toge shakes his head, again, and points to his forehead, hoping Yuuta will pick up on the lack of a crown. 

He must, because his gaze flits briefly upwards before coming back down, cheeks glowing with color.

"Just... Toge? Is that okay, your Highness?" 

He got it! 

Toge nods enthusiastically, his hair flopping against his head and tickling his ears. Without hesitation, he reaches forward and grasps Yuuta's hands in his own, leading him further into the opening. 

They're out in the training yards, where the Royal Legion typically runs drills and works throughout the day. Toge can hear their distant sounds; men yelling over each other and the sharp bite when metal hits metal. Luckily, he and Yuuta are further up, over on the hilltop that slopes down into the barracks. From here they can see the ocean, bright and blue on the horizon, and salt-scented wind whips around them. 

He tries not to think about how similar it feels to a few months ago, when he was standing in the courtyard with his brother and a sword in hand. But it feels different this time - despite just meeting, he already likes Yuuta. 

He can trust him. 

"Your Hi- sorry, Toge," Yuuta says, still unused to the informality. "Are you ready to start?" He unsheathes his practice sword, a thin blade made of wood meant for striking- not killing. Toge looks down at his hip where an identical staff is hilted, and pulls it out. 

Though they're the same age, and Yuuta looks a bit out of place with his long weapon in hand, Toge is quite aware of the gap in their skill, especially since he simply has no idea how to begin holding it.

Yuuta seems to notice because he smiles, and now it's Toge's turn to be embarrassed. He tries to hide his face as Yuuta walks to his side, gently putting a hand on Toge's wrist. 

"Hold the sword like this," he instructs, tapping the bottom of Toge's fist where it clasps around the hilt, until he's tipping the blade upwards. Yuuta then guides his free hand to the bottom of the handle, and once he's satisfied with Toge's grip, jogs back to his spot. 

He picks up his own blade again and assumes a stance without fidgeting as much as Toge. 

Yuuta is the son of the General, after all. 

Then without warning, Yuuta rushes forward.

We're starting now!? Toge at least thought they would practice the boring things first! 

He has barely any time to react, fighting every urge he has to just throw the wooden sword and run away, because Yuuta's coming at him full throttle from across the field. But Toge is nothing if not stubborn, and even though his hands are sweaty and his legs feel like they may buckle out from under him, he tries to raise the blade and block Yuuta's strike at the last minute. 

Of course he's wildly unsuccessful, and he goes tumbling to the ground as Yuuta's full weight comes crashing down on top of him.  Air squeezes forcefully out of his lungs, causing Toge to sputter and cough, his throat painfully dry and constricted. 

"Toge! I'm- oh, oh no, I'm so sorry-" Yuuta says in a flurry of panicked words, scrambling to roll off of Toge, his young face twisted in concern. "I shouldn't have, I didn't mean to-" 

Yuuta can't string together one sentence, which is more amusing to Toge than it should be. He's still laid out flat on his back, staring up blankly at the cerulean sky overhead while trying to control his breathing from being winded. Toge's throat aches, too- this is the first time since his accident that he's tried any type of exercise, and it hurts. A lot. 

You know what would make him feel better? Playing a prank. 

Since Yuuta is still busy being terrified, Toge lets his head loll to the side, making it as weightless as possible. He saw a dead raccoon once when he joined his father on a hunt in the forest. Toge hopes he looks just like that. 

"T-Toge?" Yuuta asks. Toge feels a cool shadow on his face as Yuuta leans over him, peering to get a better look. "Toge?"

Yuuta pokes him gently in the shoulder. Toge rolls his tongue out of his mouth.

"Are you- Toge? Are you dead?! Oh no. I killed the prince," Yuuta whimpers, his voice brimming with the threat of tears. "I killed the prince! I'm gonna be killed! What should I do?!" 

Before Yuuta descends any further into his breakdown, Toge shoots out his arm and wraps his hand around Yuuta's wrist, yanking him down into the grass. Yuuta shrieks as Toge rolls him over, pinning him underneath and grinning wickedly. 

"You're alive!" Yuuta says, so relieved that it strains and pulls at his voice. Tears gather fatly on his lashes, cheeks ruddy and flushed, and Toge almost feels bad. "That wasn't very nice." 

Toge shrugs and reaches down, tickling Yuuta's sides. After a bit it starts to work, and the two boys dissolve into a fit of shared laughter, playing around on the sweet-smelling grass under the baking heat of the afternoon sun.

Yeah. They're going to be good friends.

Inumaki Toge was born a prince, though that doesn’t always mean he’s treated like one. 

It doesn’t guarantee his safety, either. 

This is heavy on his mind as Toge wakes up, sunlight streaming in like golden honey through the paned windows of his room. Tonight there will be a masquerade ball held in his honor, so that he may be introduced to the public for the first time. His official induction into court. 

If only I could escape it . 

Toge buries deeper under his covers, seeking their warmth and trying to milk what will be his last moments of privacy for the day. A black bird with wings that shine like oil slick lands on his window's ledge, its beady eyes looking in on him. 

They stare at each other through the thick, blurry glass. He feels horribly cliché even just to think it, but damn , Toge really wishes he were that bird right now. 

No obligations, no place to be. Able to fly wherever it pleases. 

He groans, trying to turn on his side so he doesn't have to look at the thing anymore, but his throat is parched and dry from sleeping all night. It scrapes and burns all the way down, like the branding of a hot coal. Toge sits up, breath catching in his throat and clawing its way out in sputtering coughs. 

There's a knock at his door as he suffers through the coughing fit. So much for a moment to myself, he thinks. Now the whole staff knows he's awake. 

Toge doesn't say anything back so the knocking increases, escalating from timid and polite to sudden banging .

"Your Highness! I'm coming in!" The large oak doors swing open not a moment later, screaming on their rusted hinges to reveal a young woman around Toge's age and two heads taller. 

Maki Zen'in, his lady-in-waiting. Toge would know that annoyingly confident voice anywhere. 

She sweeps into the room without any hesitation, her dark hair braided into a simple arrangement atop her head. As always, there's a pair of thin silver looking glasses perched on her nose. Even through them, Maki's eyes are such a dark green that when they focus on Toge he’s reminded of the pine trees in the forest.

"Drink this," she says, shoving a pewter goblet sloshing with water into his hands. Toge shoves down the sudden urge to splash it back at her because his throat pitches, a new wave of pain rippling through him like a match lighting twine. 

"Drink it!" she repeats, tipping the base of the goblet up so Toge has no choice but to gulp it down. It hurts to swallow at first, deep and lodged, but the feeling gradually ebbs away as Toge takes smaller sips, relishing in the cool liquid hitting his throat. 

Once he's done, he smacks the goblet back down in her hand defiantly. Maki accepts it without so much as flinching. 

She's always been stronger than him, anyway. 

Another member of Toge's staff slips in behind Maki, keeping her head low and clearing the goblet away. From the brief look she spares her superior, Toge can tell she's not used to Maki's... tone when speaking to royalty. 

Normally, a maid or servant would be fired immediately upon demanding something from the lord they serve. But Toge's never been fond of the strict boundaries, and he definitely doesn't think he could corral Maki, even if he tried. 

He much prefers it this way.

Suddenly they're not alone, with staff bustling back and forth and in and out of Toge's room, bringing him a tray of fresh breads, cheeses, and fragrantly plump fruit for breakfast. After thanking the maid, he stares at it unwillingly, and Maki perches on the edge of his bed.

She doesn't say anything, just stares him down, and Toge violently rips off a piece of bread and stuffs it into his mouth, chewing while making direct eye contact. 

"Don't you look happy," Maki mutters, lips quirking up slightly. Toge plucks a shining grape off the stalk and lobs it at her, but she ducks and it clears her head entirely. Maki's grinning when she comes back up, and Toge can't help but roll his eyes.

It's not that Toge's ungrateful for the life he has. He knows that he’s fortunate to have such splendor, if only by happenstance of his birth. He just... sometimes wishes it were easier. Once he's presented to the people, there's no going back. He'll be thrust fully into the whirlwind lifestyle of balls and courting, the delicate dance of war and politics. Expected to act as a prince- their prince, and future king- just because he was born into power. 

He just doesn't want to let anyone down. Not his Kingdom and his people, or his family...

Despite growing up with four elder siblings, Toge is the sole heir to the throne. His sisters aren’t allowed to govern the country under an age-old law which Toge doesn’t quite understand, because he thinks any of them would be more befitting of the title than him. If women could raise children, surely they could raise a kingdom? 

Toge has an older brother as well, but his lineage is sullied by the shadows of rumors, passed through the bejeweled and snake-like mouths of courtiers from the moment he was born. They say all kinds of things- he’s an orphan who landed on the King's doorstep, taken in out of kindness. He’s the son of the King's sister, who died during childbirth. Or maybe, he is the Queen's legitimate child- but the King is not his father. 

He heard all these rumors as a young boy, despite his family's best efforts to keep the gossip out of their court. And when Toge was born, with hair the color of moonlight and eyes cut from amethysts, the resemblance to the King was undeniable. The moment it was decreed that Toge was undoubtedly the King's son, things changed. 

Whatever love his brother had held for Toge immediately disappeared. 

Unconsciously, Toge's hand goes to his throat, fingers skimming gently over the column of skin that seems to bump out there. If he presses hard enough, he can feel the ribbed muscle underneath, sore and aching like an old wound does in the winter. 

"Your Highness," Maki says, uncharacteristically soft. 

Oh. His mind has been wandering again.

Toge slowly puts his hand down and looks up to meet Maki's eyes, frowning slightly. She tips her head to the side, but the brief display of concern is now wiped from her face.

"Finish your meal. You have a lot to do today, and it's not going to be my fault if you don't get to your own ball," Maki says. She reaches forward to pat Toge's leg under the covers, but pauses, hovering awkwardly instead. It looks like she's thinking about reassuring him, but then she takes her hand back and rises, slipping out into the hall instead.

Toge can't help but smile to himself. 

Maki manages to show her love in her own, distinctly Maki way. She’s always straight-forward and trustworthy, which you couldn't say about most people living in the castle. She also never pities Toge, which he is grateful for, since others seem to find many, many reasons to pity him. 

There is one other person who treats him normally, but... even just thinking of him makes Toge's stomach lurch, so he tries to focus on something else instead. Like his breakfast! 

As much as Toge hates to admit it, he does have a long day (and night) ahead of him, and there will be no getting through it if he skips eating. Even if his stomach feels queasy and his throat is starting to dry again, parched like exposed earth under a hot sun. 

He finishes his food as fast he can, still wincing now and then as he swallows. It's hard to eat at a normal pace, no matter how much he wants to. It makes Toge irrationally upset, like he's incapable of something as simple as eating, and he pushes the food away before he can get any more frustrated. 

Toge stands and sets the gleaming tray at the foot of his bed where Maki once sat, beginning to undress. He removes the linen coif from his head and peers into his dresser, searching for an outfit. Typically this is something his gentleman does, but Toge doesn’t really mind- 

"Your Royal Highness, I'm so sorry!" 

Speak of the Devil. 

"Let me help." Fushiguro Megumi is suddenly at his side, dropping the quill and roll of parchment he was holding in order to assist Toge, who tries to bat him off, playfully turning in circles so that Megumi can't lace up his tunic.

"Prince Inumaki, please stand still," Megumi admonishes, absolutely and entirely exhausted with Toge's antics. "You're not a child."

Oh, but he is a nuisance. 

Toge sticks out his tongue at his gentleman of the chamber, but finally decides to stop giving him a hard time. He stands still and allows Megumi to finish tying the back of his tunic, made of a soft fabric that looks almost lavender under the reflection of the sunlight. Gold and silver thread weave together in lavish, leaf-shaped embellishments that curl and snake up his sides. 

He studies himself in his mirror as everything comes together, the ornate facets of glass reflecting a young man who looks every inch the prince Toge is supposed to be.

"Seriously," Megumi sighs, fastening a cloak the color of ripe plums around Toge's shoulders. "I hope you don't put up a fight every day when you're king." 

Ah. I may look like a prince, but I'm supposed to be a king. And I don't even know if I can do that.

Toge frowns, staring himself down in the mirror, as if his reflection can tell him something. Megumi misses his clouded expression, leaning down to pick up the quill and scroll that he had abandoned to attend Toge. 

"We're going to see the physician first today. Lady Maki wants to meet us on the way, so we can't be late." 

It takes everything in Toge to refrain from showing how the word "physician" sends him into a shock of panic, cold and overwhelming. 

Ever since his accident at the age of 7, Toge regularly visits the royal physician for a myriad of fix-its: herbal solutions, bitter peppermint teas, and of course, throat training.

It should be easier after all these years. Toge shouldn't walk down the path to the infirmary, fearful of the scenery he's laid eyes upon so many times he could paint it from memory. Large, arching windows wrought with complicated ironwork let through natural sunlight into the hallway, casting white shimmers across the chill stone floor. To his left is a small courtyard, smelling like thorned roses and lavender in bloom. 

But despite all these familiarities, Toge is terrified. His throat constricts, sweat prickling uncomfortably against his skin. His heartbeat is rapid in his chest, like the rhythm of a stallion preparing to charge into battle. 

For not only did he lose his brother's love the day he was crowned, but Toge also lost his voice.

I t must've been the summer heat making them delirious, turning them mad. 

Toge and his brother stand in the courtyard at high noon, suffering relentlessly by the mercy of the sun. Sweat drips down his collar but he's determined to push through, to show his older brother that he can endure. 

To impress him. Maybe then, he'll like Toge. 

"Let's battle with real swords!" his brother calls, his young voice shrill as the calling of a crow. 

This causes Toge to pause. He's play-fought before, but he's never used a real sword. Was he allowed to do that?

"I don't think I should," Toge says, unsure of himself. He doesn't want to hurt his brother's feelings, but he also doesn't want to upset his parents. Toge wrings his hands together nervously, fingers chubby with the fat of youth. 

"What, are you scared? You can't even defend yourself?" His brother leers, laughing. Why is he laughing?

"I-I'm not scared!" Toge says, but the shakiness in his voice betrays him. 

"Come on, I won't hurt you. What kind of a prince are you if you won't accept a duel?" 

Toge's brother is bigger than him, and smarter. He's practiced the blade under expert tutelage and there is no real way for Toge to win, who hasn't even managed to land a hit during their practice spars with wooden sticks. 

But Toge doesn't want to let him down. He doesn't want to let his parents down, either. If fighting is what makes a good prince, then...

"Fine!" Toge says, throwing down his fake staff and stomping over to the root of a nearby oak tree, where two shining swords lay, placed there by his brother. They're forged in steel, glinting cold even under the warm sunlight. Toge picks up the smaller of the two by the hilt and pitches forward under its weight, almost dropping the weapon. 

His brother hefts up the other sword with ease, grinning in satisfaction. Toge hasn't so much as lifted the handle when his brother raises his arms above his head, teeth bared. 

"Wait-!" Toge drops his sword to shield himself with his hands, but it's not enough. 

He's not quick enough. 

The side of the blade lodges right into the soft expanse of Toge's throat, completely unprotected. The pain he experiences the moment it hits is like nothing he's ever felt before, skin tearing and breaking from the sheer stress of impact. Blood spurts from the wound, hot and loose between Toge's fingers as he tries to clamp them around his throat and stop the bleeding. 

He's scared, he's so scared. He doesn't know what to do. 

His brother does not help. Even as Toge reaches for him, fingers bloodied scarlet and pleas spilling incoherently from his lips, he does not help. 

It's not until a servant passes by and notices Toge that he's dragged away from the grass and the oak tree, from his brother, and into the physician's office, where he'll wake days later, feeling like he's swallowed glass. 

And unable to talk, with a scar running clear across his throat.

Toge is naive to have trusted his brother so unabashedly. And now he feels stupid because, against all his best judgement, Toge still wants to have that trust.

The debacle was swept under the rug as soon as it happened. The King and Queen had a reputation to uphold, and the price of their dignity cost Toge's silence. His brother was their mother's favorite. She was already struggling to pull enough strings to keep him at court with his legitimacy in question, and this was a nail to the coffin she could not take. 

Toge knows that his parents are disappointed he did not fight back and win.

They’re disappointed that their one sired heir to the throne is now mute- a disgrace to the essence of nobility, who rely on their charm and flowery words to get by. Toge guesses that they're disappointed they can't get rid of him, too. 

"Well if it isn't our princely menace." Maki's voice brings Toge out of his stupor, shaking him back to reality. "It's about time you showed up." She shoots a pointed look at Megumi, as if accusing him for being unable to corral a decidedly rebellious Toge. 

Toge holds up his hands, graciously accepting the blame for this one so that Megumi doesn’t have to. 

He still feels distant, underwater. Like he can't quite tune his brain to focus in on what's in front of him. But Maki and Megumi being by his side as he walks into his appointment with the physician helps, if only slightly. 

Since he'll be expected to make conversation tonight- a speech, mainly, along with smatterings of small talk here and there, the physician gives Toge a numbing drink that consists of peppermint and chamomile blended in water. It's horribly medicinal and tastes like death when it hits his tongue, but it leaves Toge's throat feeling no pain, much to his surprise. 

The physician reminds him to actively use it throughout the night and to intake as many fluids as possible- whether it be booze or water- but preferably water. Maki and Megumi nod dutifully as they listen to his instructions, and Toge can only despair at the thought of how many times tonight they'll remind him to take it. 

He misses the days of simplicity, when he could easily escape from his handlers and do what he pleased, with whomever he wanted. He misses his best friend, who always seems to make him feel better.

If Toge was a troublemaker as a child, then he is a full blown rebel as a teenager. 

Of course whenever Toge gets up to something, Yuuta is dragged along by default. Whether he’s a willing participant or not is up for debate (he is not), but currently he’s accompanying Toge as they sneak into the kitchen ahead of dinner.

"Toge," Yuuta hisses, his voice a whisper. "You can't go in there- what if we get caught?" 

Toge rolls his eyes in response, tapping his chest and then gesturing to the gilded jewelry atop his head. 'I'm a prince,' is what he hopes to convey. 

"I know, but I'm not," Yuuta says, brows furrowed in concern. 

Toge grins, pointing at himself again before pointing to Yuuta. But it's okay, you're with me.

"You never make things easy," Yuuta whines. Despite himself, Yuuta is the one who enters the kitchen first, looking left and right to check that the coast is clear before leading Toge in. 

The room is made from tall ceilings with thick, stone columns the color of sand, melting upwards in a network of archways. Copper pots and pans hang precariously on the walls, the air filled with the scent of sizzling foods caught in the thrall of cooking. Sugar-slathered quail are prepped to go in the ovens, their skin crackling with heat. There are piles of potatoes and breads and cheeses, pies that smell like herbs and smoke, and bushels of apples and fruits arranged into complex, gleaning shapes. 

But Yuuta and Toge pass all of this, heading to the lone, flour-coated table in the back of the kitchen.

"Make it quick," Yuuta says to Toge, but the smile on his face hints that he may be enjoying this. Toge bumps their shoulders together gently as he assumes the position, opening up the leather satchel he brought along to stuff as many sweets in as possible. 

Hard cookies that snap when you bite them, candied fruit that makes your hands sticky, and intricate tarts decorated with golden lattices- Yuuta's favorite. Toge shoves them all into his bag, Yuuta glancing around nervously at his side.

Once Toge's satisfied with their haul, he ties up the satchel and gives Yuuta a nod. They're just about to leave when one of the maids enters the kitchen, scoffing. 

"Your Highness! Lord Yuuta! Get out of here, dinner's not ready yet!"

Yuuta yelps in surprise as Toge grabs his hand and starts running, yanking him mercilessly along. 

"Don't make me tell the King and Queen!" She says, menacingly waving her fist in the air after them. Toge and Yuuta skirt directly past her, narrowly avoiding another procession of cooks as they enter the kitchen. A couple of passing castle staff give them weird looks, and Toge nimbly bobs and weaves through them so that he and Yuuta don't get in anyone's way. 

"Toge!" Yuuta admonishes, following him back out through a dimly lit hallway and into the courtyard. 

When they finally make it outside, Toge is breathing heavily, his throat straining at the effort. He tries to hide the cough that threatens to bubble up, not wanting to worry Yuuta.

It's dusk, the sun and moon now swapping their luminous places in the sky. Clouds drift lazily through the sunset backsplash, turning the deep purples and bright oranges to cotton. If Toge squints, he can see a few stars, white and glittering. 

Toge looks up, craning his neck to see better. It pulls on his esophagus and he has to stifle another cough, turning his head away from Yuuta and walking across the yard. Yuuta follows immediately, his steps muffled by the grass. 

"Is your throat alright?" he asks gently.

Yuuta does this often. Other than being Toge's swordsmanship tutor, he’s also his close friend. His confidant. A partner in crime. With all these many titles, it’s no secret that the two spend a lot of time together. And through their long days and stolen nights, Toge has come quite attentive to Yuuta and his habits, just as Yuuta has to his.

Toge's throat and his health being one of them. 

They try to steer away from the topic, mainly because Toge makes it painfully obvious that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and Yuuta is usually too polite to pry. 

But still, he always checks up on Toge, doting over him when he can. Yuuta is notoriously protective of those close to him, even when Toge doesn’t want him to be. It’s going to get him killed one day. 

He waves Yuuta off with a flick of his hand, trudging onwards towards a familiar tree near the far edge of the courtyard. Here the royal grounds meet the surrounding forest with a tall, impressive pine tree. It reaches as high as the towers that border the exterior of the castle, perfect for climbing with fanning branches that step up the entire trunk.

He doesn't quite remember how they found this tree, but Toge and Yuuta have made it their spot for when they want some privacy and time away from everything. 

"Toge, come on," Yuuta pleads, his voice concerned. Toge feels a twinge of guilt at ignoring him, but he'd rather not acknowledge the burning in the back of his throat and how his muscles spasm with pain at the simple act of swallowing.

Toge pushes down another cough, rumbling low in his throat and chest, and starts up the side of the tree. Muscle memory takes over, propelling him through the layers of sap-soaked branches. The air gets clearer the higher up he goes, and a little bit colder, too. Yuuta is not far behind him, deftly swinging himself around the trunk of the pine. 

They used to try and race up the tree in a competition to see who got to the top first. But both boys were the same height, and even though Yuuta was stronger than Toge, Toge was fast. After trying time and time again, they gave up on winning.

Soon, Toge and Yuuta arrive at a familiar break in the fronds of evergreen needles, edging their way out. From here they can sit and look over the Kingdom, observing the tiny dots of brown and tan, expansive walkways of stone and fountains and markets, peppering the side of the hill. To the left, as always, is the ocean. Seabreeze is thick in the air, mingling with the rustic aroma of the forest. 

Toge settles down and opens his satchel, waiting for Yuuta to crouch next to him before handing over one of the raspberry fruit tarts. He takes a handful of star-shaped cookies for himself, their centers filled with delicious purple jam. 

"To think the prince is stealing cookies and hiding in a tree," Yuuta says, taking a bite of the pastry. It leaks bright red seeds down his chin, and Toge leans over to swipe it off. 

Yuuta is one of the only people who talks to Toge. 

Somehow, he manages to understand him. To see past the scar on his neck and the utter lack of words, regarding Toge as a real person. He feels comfortable with Yuuta, he has fun with Yuuta. 

Over the past couple of years, Yuuta has become quite familiar with his mannerisms and thoughts. So instead of always bringing a quill and paper around, they can typically communicate through gestures alone. 

What? You're the general's son, Toge thinks, scrunching his nose up at Yuuta. He makes a faux downward-strike motion with his hands, pointing at him.

"I know. But your swordsmanship is coming along quite nicely, so I'm doing my job well. Nobody would get upset at me," Yuuta smiles, understanding Toge clear as day without the need for words. Toge breaks off a piece of his cookie and throws it at Yuuta, who just barely dodges it. A few stray crumbs of powdered sugar get lost in his hair. 

"But really," Yuuta says, turning away to look back out at the view. "I'm glad you're having fun." 

The only response Toge can give is a soft sigh that sounds more like a wheeze. He finishes his cookie and pulls his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. 

Toge doesn't know why he's gotten into the terrible habit of stealing from the kitchen, distracting his combat tutor, and generally making life at the castle a little too interesting. He's always strived to impress the King and Queen, and this behavior is quite the opposite. But...

Lanterns flare to life below them, turning the town into a blinking masterpiece of warm yellows and whites. Toge stares, thinking of all the people living there- his people- and he hasn't even met them yet. They don't know him, and yet they trust him to be their prince, their ruler. 

And Toge can't even speak to them. 

"Hey," Yuuta says, tapping the branch Toge's sitting on to get his attention. It gives slightly under the push. "Um... it's okay, Toge." 

Yuuta is still awkward and unsure of himself, held captive by teenage nervousness. But he cares, and he's the only person Toge truly feels he can be comfortable around. He's his best friend, so he decides to take a leap of faith. 

"Thank... you, Yuuta." 

It's the first time Toge's spoken out-loud to someone other than his physician or his parents. 

His voice wobbles from the damage to his larynx, inhuman to his own ears, a sound that Toge hates. But Yuuta is looking at him with his mouth dropped open, blue eyes wide and staring. For a moment, Toge is petrified that he’s ruined everything. 

No matter how close he and Yuuta are, he's never heard his voice before- and who would want to? Toge's nerves mount. What if I scared him?

Then he looks back to Yuuta, who is already facing him with a smile so genuine and warm on his face that Toge is reminded of sunflowers and honey. Of the sun during their afternoon training sessions. There is unmistakable wonderment on Yuuta's face, his eyes lit like glimmering pools, and Toge kind of wants to hide.

"O-of course, Your Highness," Yuuta says, stuttering. He fakes a bow, bending himself over to Toge, as he often does whenever he wants to tease him. They have no use for such formalities after all. 

It breaks whatever is hanging in the air and Toge bursts into laughter, unafraid and wild, no longer censoring the sound of his voice in front of Yuuta. Soon, Yuuta is laughing with him, deep and clear like the night that sets in around them. 

Then Toge is shaking with fits of giggles, and he sends his bag off the branch. 

He and Yuuta watch helplessly as it careens downwards, tossed back and forth by branches, throwing up perfectly baked goods in a series of frantic explosions. Toge sees a powdered roll bounce off a knot in the wood and skewer itself on a sharp twig. 

Toge looks over to Yuuta just as Yuuta looks at him, resembling a deer caught by surprise. Silently, Toge points at Yuuta, not breaking eye contact. 

"T-that's not my fault! Toge!" 

Such memories are so far in the past that it hurts for Toge to reminisce on them, rather than bring him comfort. He has to come to terms with the fact that things have changed.

With the new cure in hand, Maki thanks the physician and leads their procession back into the hallway, taking a turn for the wings that lead to the library instead of Toge's quarters. The surprise must show on his face, because Megumi peers over, a vague smile on his lips.

"Did you forget, your Highness? Lady Maki wants to go over the guest list one last time," he explains. Maki clicks her tongue in a tssk noise, turning on her heel to glare at Megumi. 

"For the last time, don't call me Lady Maki. I'm not old. And you, your Highness," she says, pointing at Toge, "don't even try to worm your way out of this one." 

Really Megumi should be the one teaching both of them, since Maki couldn't care less about what the nobility of the land are doing or who they are. If it was up to her, there'd be no high society at all. Megumi, on the other hand, at least cares enough to know things, and he has a better memory than Toge and Maki combined. 

However Toge is the one with expectations to live up to, burdens that settle heavy on his shoulders as he enters the library, scanning the rows upon rows of ancient bound books and waterfalls of scrolls. Mostly it, if not all, depict the history of the Kingdom: the land, its people, and of course, Toge's lineage. 

He wants to try and do right by it.

"Come on, the quicker we go through these names, the quicker we can be done. And besides, there's a guest you may be interested in..." Maki says, suddenly breaking into a cheshire grin, causing Toge’s stomach to drop. "I heard a certain knight will be in attendance, courtesy of your dear brother." 

Toge's stomach full on plummets out of him at that, flopping onto the floor and leaving him a sick bundle of nerves. It's ridiculous how his pulse quickens just at the mention of said knight, the suggestion of his name on someone's lips. 

He tries not to act like a fool in front of Maki, so that she doesn't feel like she's won. Toge juts his chin to the side, hopefully hiding the glow that he knows has begun to rise on his cheeks, but it's a feeble attempt. 

"You poor little prince," she says, sighing. "It's so obvious. Don't worry, he'll be acting as a guard, but maybe we could arrange a dance with him."

"Only if you do perfect in this lesson," Megumi adds teasingly, and Toge shoots him a betrayed look. Usually they try to be on the same side against Maki, since there's no winning if they don't. 

"Only if you do perfect in this lesson," Maki echoes, emphasizing the need for perfection.

Without allowing Toge to protest any longer, they set the table in a far reach of the royal library and get to work. Maki brings out her personal guestbook and Megumi hands the quill and parchment to Toge, in order for him to write his answers down.

Toge is run through a relentless gauntlet of names, and he must memorize them all. There's Duchess Adelia of Nanmart, who is known for throwing too many balls, and Don Marcus of Guania, with his impressive exports. Then there’s Lord Tanaka from Yamanobe, who is stressing their borders and has a daughter of marriageable age. They are just the beginning of all the titles and places Toge has to remember, the list soon becoming barely more than a blur in his mind. 

This is not the first time Maki and Megumi have drilled him on this information. And as a prince, Toge is brought up with a scholar's education, so he should have everything under control, but… Well, he was never particularly good at memorizing.

"Ah, here we go. You should know this one. Sir Okkotsu Yuuta ..." Maki says, her voice trailing off like a song. 

Toge ignores the fact his skin is immediately on fire, writing down his answer without hesitation, since he knows it like the back of his hand. He can just feel Maki's satisfied smirk as he finishes and flips the scroll back to face her. 

He wrote: "Son of General Okkotsu Shun. Captain of my brother, the Prince's personal guard. Will eventually succeed his father." 

Maki scans his answer and hands it to Megumi, frowning. He quickly reads it and slides it back to Toge. 

What? I answered correctly.

"I think you need to add more," Maki says, tapping Toge's scrawl with her finger. He sighs, deep and guttural from his throat, and basically tears it back away from her. 

He adds, "First job in the castle was as my swordsmanship tutor. I might think he's cute. But he’s also been ignoring me." Toge makes sure to include that last part just because he wants Maki to feel bad for pestering him.

She seems satisfied with this new addition, ignoring Toge’s jab. Maki adjusts the glasses on her face and finally flips the page of her guestbook. The last one, thank God.

"Your Highness," Megumi says, craning to peer at the scroll, specifically at Yuuta’s name. "That's a bit scandalous." The statement is so harmlessly genuine that Toge immediately feels endeared.

Bless Megumi and his complete lack of awareness. Toge reaches over the table to ruffle the shock of black hair atop Megumi's head. 

But unfortunately, if Megumi is curious about Yuuta, he won't be getting any information out of Toge. Out of all the secrets Toge is forced to keep, at least Yuuta is his own. Maki is the only person who knows that they communicated after Yuuta’s tutelage ended, all the way up until a couple months ago. 

Toge trusts Maki. After all, she’s seen firsthand just what he and Yuuta mean to each-other. 

Toge hears yelling coming from the well courtyard. Taunting, shouts- the menacing voices of boys, followed by the sickeningly familiar sound of a fist hitting flesh. Maybe some kicking. 

But one of the voices sounds horribly distinctive, almost like... Yuuta's.

Toge’s feet start to move before his mind does, and he rises from his seat in the library where he's currently reviewing foreign trade policies with Maki and his tutor, Gojo Satoru. 

Whatever he's supposed to be learning can wait. 

"Your Highness!" Maki says stiffly. She stands up and catches Toge's wrist, stopping him before he can storm out of the library. "Where are you going?" 

Maki's eyes are searching him over her glasses. No matter the situation, Maki never flinches- but Toge must look furious, desperate, because something flickers across her face. Gojo leans back in his chair, observing the two with a smile.

"The lesson can wait," he says, fairly uncharacteristic of a royal scholar but entirely faithful to his own personality. Gojo's never been one for tradition, which is why Toge likes him.

Toge tries to take another step to get out of Maki's grasp, but she shakes her head. 

"Toge, don't do this," Maki warns him. "You're the prince, you can't just go around breaking up schoolyard fights. Someone else will handle it. Do you want me to go down there?"

It's the best she can offer and Toge knows it. No matter who's fighting out in the courtyard, it's not his place to meddle in such things. He doesn't want to give up, but-

Then he hears a sword being drawn. A horrid, metallic sound that grates against his ears and sends shivers through him.

Maki's grip must loosen because Toge is suddenly able to tear away from her. Finally free, he walks briskly to the entrance of the library, and once he's out of sight from any lurking courtiers, he breaks into a sprint, climbing down the tower steps two at a time. He thinks he hears another set of footsteps behind him, but the blood is too loud in his ears to register anything. 

Toge throws open the heavy doors to the courtyard, nearly stumbling as the sunlight hits his eyes. Gathered around the stone well, its surface blackened with water and now dotted in fresh, red blood, he can see three boys. 

And Yuuta. 

One of the boys has his sword drawn and lifts it above his head, preparing to strike down on Yuuta, who is unmoving on the ground. Toge lurches forward just in time to intercept him, and without thinking, thrusts his hand right into the path of the weapon. 

The swing couldn't have been strong to begin with, because Toge halts it immediately, the blade sinking deep into the flesh of his palm. He hisses in pain, the sensation rippling through his body, but now is not the time to back down. 

Toge steps out in front of the boy who has just, no matter if he intended to or not, hurt the Crown Prince. 

Horror registers on the kid's face, real and raw, as his eyes wander to land on Toge's hand, dripping with freshly spilt blood. The same as the blood that is now on his blade. 

Toge doesn't even get the chance to ask what's going on or incite any sort of punishment, because the boy and his sidekicks bolt for the archway that leads deeper into palace grounds, escaping in the direction of the stables.

But he can't dwell on that, for there are more important things to attend to. Toge drops to his knees, ignoring the alarming sensation of lightheadedness that hits him, due to so much blood loss. Cradling his hand to his chest, Toge feels the sensation of liquid seeping hot and loose through his undershirt.

A putrid smell overwhelms Toge when he crouches down, a mix of well water and the iron tang of blood, but all Toge cares about is making sure Yuuta’s okay. His friend is curled in on himself to protect his stomach, and Toge spots places where bruises begin to blossom on his skin, purple and angry. 

Toge is suddenly overcome with a level of upset that he can't control, a rage he didn't know he was capable of feeling. He tries to nudge Yuuta gently with the toe of his boot, but the motion is fraught with desperation. 

Yuuta carefully pries his eyes open, and Toge can see as he registers the face hovering above him, mouth parting and eyebrows shooting up.

"Toge? What-" Yuuta's gaze immediately finds Toge's hand, drenched in sickly scarlet. Toge blinks, trying to keep track of what's happening as Yuuta abruptly sits up and grabs him by the wrist. His vision is already swimming and he's finding it hard to control his breath. 

"What did you-" 

Toge makes a mental note to ask the physician more about the effects of blood loss when he sees him. 

He hears the sound of fabric ripping and looks down to see Yuuta tear a piece from his own shirt, exposing his abdomen in the process. Toge feels his hand being jerked forward, and suddenly Yuuta is tying the fabric tightly around the gash on his palm. It's like each pulse of Toge's heart has an effect, pushing out more blood, sending ripples of stings through his body. The pain alone is enough to make him pass out. 

"You're so stupid, what did you think you were doing?" Yuuta demands, using one hand to apply pressure to the wound, which hurts terribly, and the other to hold Toge's neck and steady him. The heat from Yuuta’s hand feels like the glow of a fire low in the hearth, and some clarity returns to Toge’s mind. All he can see is blue; blue eyes, swimming with panic and concern.

"You're hurt," Toge croaks out, the words barely a mumble past his lips. He points at the bruises forming on Yuuta, at the split in his lip and the dried blood on his forehead. 

"We got in a fight, that's all," he says, entirely dismissive. How Yuuta is keeping it together right now, Toge has no clue. 

Toge tries to shake his head, but it just makes him dizzier. Yuuta's calloused hand is a constant on his neck, and Toge vaguely thinks it may be the only thing keeping him conscious right now. 

How embarrassing.

"They were... I'll tell you later," Yuuta whispers, forcibly stopping himself from saying more. His voice wavers at the edges, up and down, and Toge realizes that he's angry, an emotion he's never seen on Yuuta before. But then his expression morphs back into a melting look of worry, of a concern so deep that Toge realizes he did just stop a sword with his hand. 

He should probably apologize. 

"M'sorry," Toge says, squeezing his eyes shut.

"You better be," Yuuta replies, voice low. 

"What happened?" It's Maki. Toge vaguely registers her footfalls against the cobblestone as she jogs over to them. "I got the guards to catch those kids."

"Lady Maki, thank you. This idiot just stopped a sword with his hand, so we should take him to the physician." 

That’s good , is the last thing Toge thinks, just before he falls forward and faints right into Yuuta's arms. 

It must be hours later when he finally wakes up, because the world outside is dark. The moon hangs overhead, casting pale silver light into the room Toge rests in, which he quickly identifies as the infirmary. He’s sweat clean through the undershirt on his body, now mixed with dried blood on the front, and he feels quite disgusting. 

Hot air wafts through the open window. It's disorienting to wake up to such conditions. Toge's throat is unbearably parched from the lack of liquids that he would usually be drinking throughout the day to keep his larynx wet. His breath pitches, catches on his ragged throat, and Toge coughs terribly.

"Drink this." 

Toge reaches out to grasp the chalice being offered to him, soothed by the familiar voice. As always, Maki is there for him when he needs her most, but she doesn't seem particularly thrilled, standing with her hands on her hips and looking every inch disappointed. 

"Your Highness," she says pointedly, using the formality against him. "I don't even want to ask what was going through your mind earlier today." 

Toge drinks down the water and sets the goblet off to the side carefully. Once he's calmed down a bit, he looks to Maki, hoping she'll keep talking and explain what happened. 

Maki sighs, but obliges. "Okkotsu was caught in a fight with several stablehands, apparently due to a disagreement. You jumped in, I don't know why, and stopped him from getting seriously injured. The guards managed to catch the boys and they'll be punished accordingly for hurting the Crown Prince." 

She eyes Toge, as if insinuating that it's his fault.

"After you fainted, Okkotsu carried you here, and I got the physician to treat your wound. You won't be able to do much for a bit, so we’ll have to put a pause on swordsmanship lessons, but it should heal just fine." Maki finishes, slumping back down into the creaky stool in the corner of the room. She looks tired, worn to the bone. 

Toge swallows down the biting retort he wants to give at the idea of pausing sword practice. Maki has been through enough tonight.

She must've been worried, he realizes, and all the motivation to fight back leaves his body. 

"Maki," Toge croaks out, having to swallow down a painful cough. "Thank you." 

She stares back at him, as if waiting for Toge to admit it's some kind of trick. Then she sighs again, scrubbing at her face with her hands. 

"Just don't do something like that again. It wasn't that you were going to die or anything, but..." she pauses. "You're still a prince, Toge. You need to be more careful. What will the King and Queen think if they hear you've been picking fights?"

Maki says that last part gently, uncharacteristically softening the blow. Toge ducks his chin into his chest, thinking. 

Of course the problem isn't that his parents would be worried about him getting injured, or the General's son being pushed around. They'd be worried that Toge was tarnishing their reputation. That he was acting out of line. 

No matter how much he did right, there was always something else, another reason for them to despise him, to be disappointed in him. 

Suddenly the door to the infirmary swings open, rattling furiously on its hinges. Yuuta bursts through, his eyes finding Toge. His entrance is so frantic that he almost breezes past Maki, who is staring at him, unimpressed. Luckily he catches her in time and offers an awkward bow.

"Lady Maki," he says, nervously. "Could I- could I speak to the prince for a moment?" 

Maki regards him sharply, eyes narrowed. Toge watches her amusedly- she looks like a cat trying to intimidate a mouse. 

Finally, she stands and says, "Yes. Come get me when you're done." 

Maybe Toge's still delirious from the blood loss, but he swears he sees Maki check Yuuta in the shoulder on her way out before closing the door behind her.

Yuuta watches it shut and turns to Toge, a sheepish smile on his face. "I don't think she likes me." 

Toge shrugs. Maki's just like that.

"Toge, I-" Yuuta starts, but Toge holds up his non-injured hand, a silent request for him to stop speaking. Once Yuuta's attention is trained on him, he points to the bruise purpling Yuuta's shoulder, and makes a fist with his hand. Toge drops it and raises his eyebrows, looking at Yuuta, and waits for some kind of an answer. 

"I don't... It's nothing," Yuuta says, "They were teasing me but I decided not to fight back. They just wanted to get violent."

As if Yuuta’s shrinking body language and his heavy avoidance of Toge's eyes isn’t suspicious enough, his excuse is a dead giveaway he’s lying. Nobody would go after the General's son unprovoked and expect no consequences. 

Toge shakes his head, trying not to notice how Yuuta's face twists deeper with nerves. That's not it.

"They were..." Yuuta pauses, breathing deeply. He looks down to where his hands are balled up in his lap. "T-they were making fun of you. They said... that I picked the wrong prince." 

Toge is nothing short of confused, taken aback by Yuuta’s confession. It doesn’t make sense- Yuuta didn’t just go around looking for fights. He wasn’t quick to anger. And Toge can’t even begin to dissect what ‘picked the wrong prince’ could mean.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault you're hurt," Yuuta says, hanging his head. Despite the bow of submission, Toge watches as Yuuta’s hands clench, knuckles turning white with tension. Toge frowns. 

"It just… I was angry when I heard what they were saying. None of it’s true." Yuuta looks like he's done speaking now, but Toge is more lost than ever. He wants Yuuta to explain more and tell him exactly what was said.

Maybe...

Maybe he was sparing Toge’s feelings, because it really was his fault. Toge’s the one that jumped in front of the sword. He's terrible at learning the things a prince should know, awful at talking to others, and bad at staying out of trouble. He skips lessons and fights with his parents, and he drags Yuuta into all of it, all of the time. 

Of course he causes problems for Yuuta.

Toge looks up to see his friend's face, watery and clouded with so many emotions; worry, concern, shame. In that moment, he makes a vow with himself to be every bit the prince he should be. 

He'll live up to their expectations and he'll push himself, if that's what it takes to make his family proud, to shut up the gossiping courtiers, and keep Yuuta safe. 

After what seems like ages, Maki finally finishes going over the long list of guests, and Toge slumps over in defeat. It's a miracle he hasn't had to speak at all today, but he knows it's just in preparation for the hours of socialization required of him later. He'll be poked and prodded to perform, incentivized to impress his parents. 

As much as he may despise the fact that he has to go, if Toge doesn't perfect every moment of the night, there's no telling what it'll do to him. He can't let anyone down. 

"Alright," Maki says loudly, slamming her guestbook shut. "Prince Toge! Megumi will take you back to your quarters to get ready for this evening. I'll be by later with your garment and a meal. Please don't forget to use the spray." She stands up, pushing away from the stool she's been sitting on, and is back to business as usual. 

Toge lifts his head up from where he's been resting on the table to stare at her, eyes pleading. He smiles as sweetly as he can muster, batting his eyes angelically. Maki scoffs.

"I'm not bringing you any sweets," she says, tapping Toge gently on the head. "You cause enough trouble for the kitchens already." 

With that, Maki sweeps out of the library, always walking like she has someplace to be and she was supposed to be there already. Megumi laughs, clearly amused at seeing Toge stare after his lady-in-waiting forlornly, no doubt thinking of candied oranges and rice pudding. 

"Let's go, Your Highness," Megumi says, rising to his feet and offering Toge a hand. He doesn't exactly need help getting out of a chair, no matter how horribly polite Megumi is, so Toge stands up on his own and heads towards the library's exit.

They carry on in silence for most of the walk back to Toge's quarters. Servants bustle left and right, filling the halls of the castle with busy energy as they prepare for the imminent ball and banquet. It wasn’t often that they hosted masquerades as grand as this one, so many preparations had to be made. The bands must tune their instruments, the chefs will make mountains of food, and the stables have to be ready for housing the mounts of traveling guests. 

To think that all of this was being done for him makes Toge uneasy. 

He doesn't want to see his brother again, and even the idea of seeing the King and Queen leaves a hollow pit in his stomach. Then there's Yuuta, who, due to his new position as the captain of his brother’s guard, Toge rarely sees anymore. He tries not to dwell on that and the dread it makes him feel, but Toge will admit he’s been hurt by Yuuta, who stopped talking to him after rising to the position.

More than anything though, Toge just misses his friend. He doesn’t have it in him to be angry with Yuuta, and is willing to forgive the pain for the excitement of seeing him again, especially after all these months. 

Life just feels lonely without him.  

Megumi delivers Toge safely to his room, opening the door and letting him pass through first. 

"Is there anything else you need, Your Highness?" Megumi asks, hovering awkwardly in the doorway. Toge meanders to his window, opening it to let in a bit of fresh air before sitting on the edge of his bed. He shakes his head, letting Megumi know it's okay to take his leave. 

Before he does however, Megumi pauses and peers back into Toge's room, making direct eye contact. Toge stills, looking back expectantly. 

"I'll go, then. Make sure you get some rest. Tonight is going to be perfect," Megumi says, flat as ever, before shutting the door behind him and leaving Toge alone. 

Was that... encouragement? From Megumi? 

It's not like Toge thinks Megumi doesn’t have emotions, but he's rather obtuse when it comes to social situations. He sometimes struggles in finding the right words to say. Toge smiles to himself, grateful that his waiting staff are as weird and special as they are. 

It'll make the night ahead of him more bearable. 

Toge sighs, finally deflating, finally able to let the pressure roll off his shoulders and take a breather. He casts off his shoes and cloak, flopping backwards onto his mattress. Left alone with his thoughts, and staring at the numbing liquid from his physician, it’s hard for Toge’s mind not to wander. 

Will seeing Yuuta tonight really be okay? Toge knows it won’t be easy. He has questions he wants to ask and answers he needs to hear, ones that have plagued his dreams and waking moments since their line of communication died.

It just doesn’t make sense, after all they’ve been through, and all they know about each other, that Yuuta would abandon him. Especially to serve his brother. 

There are some things that even Toge and Yuuta don’t talk about together. 

Like the future, and how Toge will soon have to join the other nobility and be presented to the Kingdom as their prince. Yuuta, a year older than him, will come of age quicker, and his father will assign him to a position in the Royal Legion, although it can't be as part of Toge's guard, since he will not yet be old enough. 

They don't talk about those things. 

Other words stay left unsaid, too. Like the fact that they meet in secret like young boys would, knowing they're not allowed. Toge doesn't require regular swordsmanship lessons anymore, and Yuuta should be focusing on training for placement. 

Toge also won't tell Yuuta how he sometimes gets butterflies when he's around him, which doesn't happen around Maki or his new gentleman Megumi, or even any of the girls he's met in court. 

They also don't discuss how Toge got his scar.

He hasn't told even one person that story. 

Only his parents, his brother, and the physician know.

Tonight is one of their secret meetings, stolen away under a cloak of stars, when Yuuta should be night patrolling with one of the senior guards. But as they’ve grown up, they've been forced to live their lives more separately, attending to their own responsibilities. So they have to make time where they can.

Toge convinces Maki he wants to go on a walk around the grounds tonight- alone. He also convinces the senior guard who Yuuta was stationed with that he needs an escort.

Apparently, there are some perks to being a prince.

The air is cool in the gardens, the sweet scent of blooming moonflower and water lilies on the breeze. Toge tries to keep his pace even with Yuuta, but in the past few years, his friend has grown much taller and broader, and now he’s finding it much harder.

Not that Toge is upset or anything. He's not sensitive about his height, okay? 

They meander around the edge of the pond on the grounds, watching decorative fish with shiny golden and silver scales dart beneath the surface. Toge bends down near the water's edge, balancing on the limestone curb to get a better look. He feels Yuuta's hand drag him back by the collar when he gets too close. 

Yuuta tells him about running drills with his Father and how sore he is every night because of it. He's not getting rest and it shows under his eyes, carved in deep, sleepless shadows. Toge doesn't think they look too bad, but Yuuta's not exactly fond of them. 

Toge names the fish in the pond and fills Yuuta in on his lessons with Gojo Satoru, as well as fittings for new outfits that he must regularly attend. And, more importantly, how Megumi is still learning the ropes to being part of his staff, and spilt tea on him the other day. 

Toge also plucks a little white daisy from one of the bushes to place it behind Yuuta's ear, running away when the other chases him down in retaliation.

Only with Yuuta is Toge able to exist so freely, without the fear of being judged. Yuuta seems to understand everything that's on his mind, even when he's too tired to say it. It just feels so comfortable. It may be childish and irresponsible of him to cling to their stolen meetings, and to Yuuta himself, but tonight Toge selfishly allows it. 

They meander over to a small gathering area in the herb garden, sitting on an old bench and enjoying the silence of the fragrant night together. Toge kicks his feet back and forth while Yuuta watches him. 

"I- um," Yuuta starts, then stops. Toge looks up to him, patiently waiting for Yuuta to finish. "Thanks for sneaking out tonight, uh... this is silly, but it kind of reminds me of when we were kids." 

Toge smiles at that, feeling his face flush. He's instantly thankful it's dark outside, so that Yuuta can't see. Toge nods enthusiastically and rubs his stomach, trying to say, ‘Just without the sweets.’

Yuuta laughs and Toge follows suit, their shared fit dissolving into a hushed series of giggles. When they finally stop, chests heaving, Yuuta sighs. And then says something that catches Toge completely off-guard. 

"You have a really nice laugh, Toge. I wish more people heard it." 

He doesn't know how to respond to that. Toge feels that nervousness build up in his chest again, a drum beat he can't quite place. His face grows hotter as he stares Yuuta down, unsure of how to proceed.

This was very unlike him, to be so forward. To disrupt the tentative balance of whatever it was they shared. 

Yuuta's eyes drop from Toge's face to the scar on his neck. 

The pale skin has never healed, instead growing taught and stretched under the weight of the gash that once bled there. In the moonlight, Yuuta's gaze is the color of slate, dark and unreadable. Toge focuses on the white daisy, the one he tucked behind Yuuta's ears, desperate for something to bring him out of this moment. 

Then, Yuuta's fingers graze down the column of his neck, pressing soft indents into his skin. Yuuta’s touch is feather light, and Toge fears that if he moves, Yuuta will scare away. His thumb traces down the ribbed cartilage, pausing on the scarred skin, and Toge stops breathing. 

"Toge," Yuuta mutters, low. It sends a shiver down Toge's spine. "Who did this to you?" 

Oh.

Both Toge and Yuuta snap their gazes up to meet each other. Toge can't help but swallow nervously, wincing slightly at the sensation, and it's impossible to miss the way Yuuta's face pinches. 

He shouldn't tell him. It would mean betraying his parents and putting his brother at jeopardy. But there's something about the way Yuuta is looking at him, something about the fact that it's Yuuta, and Toge surrenders. 

"My brother," he manages to say, voice shattering. 

Toge is unprepared for the rush of emotion that hits him in that moment. He wasn't fully aware of how much it hurt to hold that in and keep it secret. He didn’t understand just how painful it was, and how he was crumbling under the weight without even knowing. 

Tears come before he can stop them, gathering on his bottom lashes and spilling over, running hot down his cheeks. They are crystals that shatter once they hit his skin and Toge sniffs, embarrassed and unsure of how to stop crying. 

Yuuta just looks at him, open and kind, eyebrows knit in concern like something has broken within him, as if Toge’s reaction is hard to watch. He removes his hand from Toge's throat and uses his fingers to carefully wipe the tears away. Through the messy sniffling, Toge can't help but laugh. 

He feels pathetic and sad, but Yuuta has managed to be sweet, and it brings down his defenses.

"I'm sorry," Yuuta says, eyes searching Toge's face like he's waiting to see if that's the right answer. 

"It's not- your fault," Toge manages, voice broken by the warble in his tone and the onset of uncontrollable hiccups. He doesn't know if it clicks for Yuuta then, why he was brought in to teach Toge swordsmanship at such a young age, or if he saw how the King and Queen treated him. 

Toge doesn't quite understand all the things chaining up his heart at the moment, but he's relieved to have finally told someone. And he's grateful that it was Yuuta. 

The breeze traveling in through Toge’s window smells warm and gentle, the essence of an afternoon. It relaxes him, and before he knows it, he is lulled closer towards the hazy embrace of sleep. His eyes flutter closed, heartbeat slowing. If he could just get in some rest before Maki comes and forces him to get dressed- 

Toge hears wings beating and the ruffling of feathers as they flap back and forth. He bolts upright just in time to see a pristine white dove, the color of clouds, land on his windowsill. It moves its head erratically, focusing dark, beady eyes on Toge. 

There's a note tied to its leg. 

He nearly launches himself out of bed, causing the dove to coo and puff up, hopping along the stone ledge. Toge reaches forward more cautiously once he's composed himself, untying the note that is fastened to its leg with a thin piece of twine. 

Toge opens it and reads, immediately recognizing the handwriting. 

Toge,

I regret that this can't send you happier news. 

Your brother has taken me off duty tonight, so I'm no longer attending your ball.

I'm sorry I'll have to miss it . 

Yours, 

Yuuta

He can't bring himself to read the note again, unable to face it. 

After not seeing each other for months, relying on passed messages and glances at each other during events, Toge is being deprived once again. He knows it's ridiculous for his resolve to crumble at the realization that Yuuta won't be there. Toge is a prince and this is his duty, he should be ready to face it by himself, his own hurt aside.

There is no fighting against his brother's whims, something Toge knows firsthand. But it's confusing- Yuuta is the captain of his guard, is he not in charge of delegating their forces? Maybe his fears are right and Yuuta doesn't want anything to do with Toge anymore, perhaps he's found the right prince to serve, and has decided to abandon him. 

Toge sighs, shuddering and sad, his eyes scanning the signature once more. He thinks of their last night together, in the gardens.

Yours, 

Yuuta

No, that's not it. He's being dramatic. Yuuta is kind and selfless, always acting in the best interest of others before himself, even if it hurts him. And no matter how hard Toge tries to hate Yuuta, which isn't very hard at all, he never can. 

Toge folds the paper back into a square and hides it in the holder of his bedside candle to burn later. He's sure there's an explanation for this, but maybe he’ll never hear it from Yuuta, with how little they see each other. 

More than anything, Toge is confused. He feels defeated and disappointed, a lump rising in his throat. He pulls out his own quill and a stray scrap of parchment from his dresser and sets to writing a response, trying desperately to not sound too upset, lest he make Yuuta feel guilty.

Yuuta,

I can't imagine what's more important than this to my dear brother. 

Hopefully we can meet soon, I want an explanation.

I'll miss you.

Yours,

Toge

Okay, maybe it's a little rude. A little too punishing of Yuuta, who Toge rationally knows has no say in where he goes or what he does when it comes down to it. But it just feels right to act on his emotions in the moment. 

Toge lures the dove to him and reuses the piece of twine to tie his note to its leg. He then scoops his hands under the bird, cradling its feet up by its tail in one hand with his other wrapped around its breast. Toge leans out his window as much as he can without falling and tosses the dove upwards, letting it fly up and into the air, to deliver its message. 

He pauses by the windowsill for a moment longer with his elbows propped up on the stone, watching the bird disappear out of sight. 

A knock at his door brings Toge away from his pitiful longing and he steps back, walking over to open the wood panels. 

"Miss me?" Maki asks, standing there in the hallway with another meal tray and a folded mound of fabric in tow. The question is absolutely rhetorical because she waits for no answer, nudging her way past Toge and into his room. She sets the clothes down on his covers and the tray on his table. Maki looks at Toge's face, then at the open window, and smirks. 

"Needed some fresh air?" she asks. 

Now this is a question Toge is supposed to answer. He shakes his head, walking back to pluck the folded note from his candle dish and hand it to Maki. She knows about he and Yuuta’s exchanged messages by dove- by complete accident, actually, because she once walked in on Toge writing one at night with a bird waiting on his windowsill. Toge is glad she knows, though, because Maki has been a huge help in keeping their secret.

"What, did Okkotsu finally go off to war or something?" Maki laughs, which is not a very funny joke. She takes the note from Toge and begins to read, ignoring how he rolls his eyes at her. 

Toge watches her features fall as she quickly finishes the message, eyes darting back up to land on his face. Her cheeks grow slightly red, a very unusual sight to see on Maki, face flushed with embarrassment. 

"I didn't..." she trails off, handing the note back to Toge. "I'm sorry. I know you were looking forward to seeing him." 

They both know that Yuuta means more to Toge than he should. Toge hates the way his chest clenches at the idea that Yuuta won't be there, and he can barely stand how Maki is looking at him, undoubtedly thinking the same thing.

"Thank you," Toge says softly, not missing the way Maki's eyes widen slightly. Then she schools her expression back into something more determined, lips breaking into a smirk.

"Well, Okkotsu's an idiot and this is going to look amazing on you," Maki says, slapping her hand down on the bundle of expensive fabric she brought. "And we are going to make him regret not coming to the ball. Got it?" 

That lights a fire in Toge. He nods, smiling, feeling better about the night that awaits him. After all, how could he forget that he'll have Maki and Megumi by his side? And it's only until morning.

They spend the rest of the afternoon filling up on breads and cheeses with fruits and thinly sliced meats as Maki preps Toge in his most formal wear. She even slipped him a couple baked goods from the kitchen, even though she said she wouldn’t.

Other maids bustle in and out occasionally, attending to Maki and listening to her instruct them this way and that. She's an absolute shoe-in for bossing other people around, and Toge vaguely thinks of how, when he's king, he'll make sure to give Maki a position she deserves. 

Toge is poked and prodded, squeezed into his outfit and feeling very much like a plucked chicken when all is said and done. But when Maki pushes him in front of his mirror so he can admire her handiwork, he is impressed.

He wears a silken undershirt the color of pearls, with sleeves that billow from his shoulder to wrist, ending in tightly laced cuffs trimmed with shimmering gold thread. It goes up high on his neck, where a ruffled bow, embellished with an amethyst brooch set in gold, sits to hide his scar. The white tunic overtop is cinched at the waist, stitches of more gold running down his front and leading into buttons and chains for decoration.

Maki has also given him a cape of thin, sparkling fabric. It appears almost see-through in the sunlight, like a million little gems are caught in it, glittering with every movement that Toge makes. 

"You clean up nice, your Highness," Maki teases, watching Toge practically gape at himself in the mirror. He moves side to side, twisting his torso in order to get a better look at everything. Despite the nervousness building in his stomach, Toge looks every bit the prince he’s supposed to be. He turns to Maki, feeling the urge to go hug her, but stops when he sees she's holding something. 

"The final touch," she says, reaching up to place the mask on Toge's face. It's made of decadent gold lace, curling upwards in patterns that frame his face perfectly, with twinkling amethysts inlaid right on his brow. The color matches his eyes, a fairytale purple.

"Nobody can know I said this," Maki sighs, resting her hand on Toge's shoulder, "but you look quite handsome." 

Toge meets her gaze through their mirrored reflections, wishing he could convey to her just how grateful he is. 

"You think I'm cute?" Toge says instead, raising his eyebrows and grinning at her. She slaps him in the shoulder at that, basically tossing him across the room and walking away. 

"You're supposed to be saving your voice," she says, a teasing bite to her tone, "And out of all the things you could choose to say to me, you say that? Come on, Toge." 

Maki grabs Toge's new throat medicine and nudges him in the shoulder, leading him out the door and into the hallway. 

He follows her through the winding corridors of the castle, inside torch-lit tunnels filled with silence that makes his heart beat fast. They pass by one of the receiving parlors his mother uses to greet guests, and Toge catches the ends of her voice engaged in conversation with the night's attendees as she ushers them in. 

His stomach lurches, palms suddenly sweaty. To be presented to the court and beyond is monumental. Once Toge wakes up tomorrow, he will no longer be a young prince sheltered and growing in the confines of the castle, but a public figure. Nobility. Someone expected to rule and know what's best for his Kingdom, to manage social affairs and sweet-talk dignitaries. 

The minute he walks into the ballroom, they will call out his name, and he will have to descend the stairs into the party. So much rides on this moment.

Toge has to calm himself down. He thinks of Maki, who will always be by his side, and Megumi, with his refreshing outlook on things. He tries to think of the sweets he'll have tonight, and the fact that maybe he'll actually enjoy a dance or two. And, no matter what, Toge tries to keep his mind away from Yuuta and why he's not attending and how muddled his own feelings get when he thinks of him. 

Finally they reach the ornate doors that lead into the grand ballroom. Toge can hear the gentle thrum of music and voices spilling from inside, and he looks to Maki for some assurance. 

"Here," she says, uncapping the numbing elixir. Maki hands it to Toge and waits as he takes a generous sip, the liquid causing him to flinch. It's disgusting yet instantly cooling, like ice melting down his throat. 

"Once you go through, you’ll hear your formal introduction. Then go down the stairs, just like we practiced, and take your seat by the King." Maki is focused, checking Toge all over, and pulling on his lapels here and there, arranging the golden tassels that hang from his outfit. 

Toge nods numbly, taking a deep breath. 

He can do this. 

With one last look at Maki, and offering a smile he hopes is confident her way, Toge turns to the footman at the door and indicates that he's ready to enter. When the doors swing open, Toge is absolutely blinded.

"Presenting his Royal Highness, the Crown Prince Inumaki Toge, son of the King and Queen, first to his name!" 

The hundreds of faces gathered in the grand room turn to Toge in anticipation, each masked and framed with their finest laces and jewels. It is nothing less than horrifying to look out into the sea of mannequins, all emotionless and staring back at him. 

Luckily his body reacts on instinct, and Toge puts one hand gently on the banister of the staircase with his other poised in the air, waving to the crowd with all the formality he can muster. 

The floor of the ballroom has been polished to its full splendor - pale and reflecting back the firelight that dances in hung lanterns and crystal chandeliers. Each wall of the room is covered in decadent embellishments of gold foil, elaborate carvings that creep up the archways and columns. They gleam incandescently, illuminating the room in a glow that is as blinding as diamonds.

Toge descends into the swathing crowd of courtiers with their wide, belled dresses and jewel-toned suits. He follows the path they have cleared all the way to his deep purple throne, the color of overripe grapes, he inhales. 

And speaks. 

"My people!" 

Toge is shocked at how his own voice carries.

"It is my pleasure to meet you all tonight. Let us be merry, and toast to a happy future!" 

He knows it's not enough. That he should be saying more, be more assertive, sound more normal. But that's the best Toge can muster for now, and it seems to work since the crowd balloons into a polite orchestra of clapping and toasting, the courtiers turning to each other with satisfied smiles painted on their faces. 

Toge scans them, quickly realizing he's searching in hopes to recognize black hair and blue eyes, and stops himself. 

The music swells up again and the band begins to play, drawing everyones' attention away from him and back to the festivities. Toge tries not to sink into his throne with relief, forcing himself to sit at full attention. 

"Son." Toge goes rigid at the low, commanding sound of his father's voice. He turns to his left, eyes wide as he stares up at the King. 

"Keep it up." 

With that, he turns back to face the crowd again, the crown atop his head seeming heavier to Toge, who feels a pitch in his throat. 

Toge's not the only one who heard his Father. His brother, dressed in a superfluous, fur-lined cape and dark purple robes, also hears. He looks over at Toge, eyes like flint.

But there is no time to linger his anger, because suddenly a line forms to greet Toge, royals and nobility gathering for the chance to speak with their illusive Crown Prince. 

First up is a woman in a wide, dove-grey ball gown with a lace mask to march. She wears sapphires braided into her hair, and despite the lines of age on her face, looked young-spirited. 

Duchess Adelia, Toge recalls, unsure of just how he manages to remember. Thank God for Maki and Megumi's impromptu lesson. 

The procession continues and Toge meets more people than he could ever hope to memorize, their masked faces turning into a blur of gems and fabric and fox-like wit in his head. Everyone seems to have some ulterior motive to meeting him, whether they're buttering him up or curious about his life in the palace. Toge feels like he's been relentlessly evaluated as each new person steps up to the plate, ready to take a swing at him. 

Occasionally he can turn to Megumi or Maki, dressed to their best and stationed faithfully at his side, for reprieve. Maki ensures that a steady flow of water-filled goblets are sent to Toge, dropping the throat elixir into each of them. Toge can barely feel the strain on his voice as he talks anymore, but he's not sure if that's good or bad. 

Soon, the music changes to a melody fit for dancing. The night is in full swing with drinks filled to the brim and food passed around on shining plates. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, which means it's time for Toge to kick off the merriment. 

As is custom, Toge's first dance is spent with his eldest sister. She wears a delicate, pink ball gown with silk flowers crowding the hem of her skirt. While he holds no ill will against his sisters, they rarely have the chance to speak, so there is no need for Toge to talk now. But he's content to smile and twirl, following the practiced steps in his head and avoiding crushing her toes. 

Next thing he knows, the band transitions to another song. The tune starts with a piano, the notes falling like stars in a romantic melody that slowly builds. Everyone acknowledges the shift, passing on their partners so that they can continue to the next set of steps.

A whining violin kicks in and Toge twirls his sister away, handing her off safely to another young man. He watches them turn into the crowd as his new partner slides into place. 

But as Toge positions himself he feels a warm, large hand on his upper back, pushing his elbow up so that he's being led. The stranger's other hand grasps his raised one, pulling Toge to attention. He whips around to see that his new partner is a man, one who happens to be much taller than him.

His figure is impressively large and muscled, which Toge can discern even under the garment covering him. He wears an undershirt of dark, marbled velvet that tucks neatly into a white swath of fabric at his chest, exposed by the deep "V" in his overcoat. A thick band of stitched, inky leather is tied around his waist with tassels that are so long they hit the tops of his boots. 

A sweeping cloak, black as night and twice as impressive, rests on his broad shoulders. And as Toge's gaze drags up to meet his face, he sees sparkling blue eyes framed by a mask wrought in black metal, winking sapphires lodged around his eyes and forehead. 

Toge's breath leaves his body. No matter the mask, or how he tries to hide, Toge would recognize him anywhere.

"Yuuta?" Toge's voice slips out before he can stop it, hushed with disbelief. 

"Well don't sound so surprised. May I have this dance?" He asks, voice low, as if their bodies aren't already pressed together. The music picks up into a dizzying crescendo and Yuuta follows the call expertly, lifting up his feet and Toge, who has to stifle a yell. 

"You..." Toge babbles, unable to finish his sentence. He can't tell if he's extremely happy or extremely upset- probably both. 

Yuuta stares down at him with an unreadable expression, too close for comfort, and Toge wants to squirm under the scrutiny. It's been months since they've seen each other and somehow Yuuta has grown in that timespan, his form eclipsing Toge’s. Yuuta’s black hair frames his face, so achingly familiar, and Toge's heart lurches as their gazes meet. 

He wants to ask so much- Why did you join my brother's force without telling me? Why have you stopped talking to me? Do you not want to see me? But all of that is lost to the wind as Yuuta leads them in a practiced dance around the ballroom floor. They may as well be alone, the couples twirling around them fading into the background. 

"I'm sorry," Yuuta says, lifting his arm to spin Toge before bringing them back together. "I didn't want to lie to you, but I promise you'll understand why." His brows are knitted in concern under the mask, asking with all they can for Toge's forgiveness - for his grace. 

He wants to, so badly, but all that comes out is, "Shouldn't you be watching your prince instead of dancing?" His voice isn't as confident as he'd like, frayed at the edges, but he expects it to at least throw Yuuta off.

Then he feels Yuuta's hand drop to his waist, his grip pulling them sharply together, tightening where his fingers meet Toge's side. Yuuta leans down to whisper into his ear, breath fanning warmly down Toge's neck.

"I don't know, I think I have a pretty good view of him just like this." 

It sends shivers down Toge's spine, music roaring in his ears as the violin desperately meets the piano in a heart-wrenching surge. The song is coming to an end but Toge is more confused and hurt than ever, his face unbearably hot. 

Yuuta suddenly dips him, strong arms encircling his back and holding him parallel to the ground. Toge looks up frantically, staring Yuuta directly in the eyes, desperate for some sort of explanation. He hates how safe he feels, how much he trusts Yuuta to hold him like this, despite the fact he's just been lied to. 

Then the song ends and Toge is pulled upright, Yuuta’s warmth fading away from his side. He tries to look around and see where Yuuta has gone, but the crowd of courtiers has swallowed him up, preparing to enter into the next waltz. 

Toge has to get out of here. 

He tries to keep his composure as best he can, politely nodding and turning down the stream of nobility that immediately inquires of him, asking to dance or wanting a moment to speak. The crowd barely parts for him but Toge is able to make it back to his throne, chest heaving, too panicked to be embarrassed at retiring from the floor so early. 

"Toge," Maki hisses, immediately at his side. Toge feels like a wild animal, heart beating painfully against his chest, unsure of what to do. 

"Is it your throat?" Maki asks, concerned. Toge shakes his head, still trying to catch his breath, and points out into the crowd. 

"Yuuta," he says quietly, so that nobody around them can hear. His family has left their seats, no doubt mingling with the guests, but Toge fears drawing anyone’s attention.

Maki's eyes widen owlishly as she follows to where Toge's pointing, her hair whipping her face when she quickly snaps her head back. 

"Okkotsu? He's here? Is that who you were dancing with?" Maki asks, and Toge puts his hands out to shush her, but nods, and she shoots a staggeringly venomous look across the dance floor. 

"I can't believe he lied to you. What an idiot." She says, hands on her hips. 

"I need to go outside," Toge rasps, the words hurting as they leave his body. It's too much- all the people, the music, Yuuta. He needs a moment to himself to catch his breath.

"Okay.” Maki answers without hesitation. Usually this is something she would fight him on- it's her job, after all- but Toge must look bad enough that she's willing to bend the rules. She quickly composes herself and barks something to Megumi, who stands to attention and nods. 

Then she jerks her head to the side, motioning for Toge to follow. He steps down from his throne and trails after her, the two of them slipping through a procession of servants bearing food trays that emerge from the back doors. They make it out just in time without being seen. 

The passageway leads them directly into the kitchen and out into the courtyard, a route that Toge is all-too familiar with after years of sneaking through it. When they're outside, Maki guides Toge in the direction of the gardens, where nobody is sure to be at this hour. 

It's too dark for any of the prissy courtiers and lords, because being seen outside with someone at night means nothing less than scandal. Which means he's utterly alone, free from the lavish perfumes and noise of the ballroom. 

"Ten minutes," he says, turning to Maki. It's a promise that he'll only need a moment to collect himself, to get away from everything. He can deal with it and swallow it down, and then he'll return to the night and be the perfect prince everyone needs him to be. 

Maki scans him with her gold eyes, almost-black in the waning light, as if she's suddenly regretting taking him out here. Then she sighs, relenting, and leans against the stone face of the castle.

"Okay. I'll be right here. Ten minutes, and if you’re not back by then, I’m coming to find you." Maki says, pointing an accusatory finger at Toge with deathly seriousness. He nods eagerly, taking the invitation to walk off into the gardens by himself. 

The night is quiet and calming, the sound of crickets and bird calls trilling together in a high-pitched chorus. Toge is fond of the gardens and the peace they offer him, and he tries to soak it in as he walks through the rows of blooming rose bushes, controlling breathing. 

So. Not only was Yuuta attending the ball, which he lied about, but he was also being strangely cryptic. And strangely forward, a type of confidence that had left Toge dizzy and unprepared. He has no idea where all of that came from. Perhaps in the past few months his brother has successfully sunken his claws into Yuuta, changing everything about him that Toge thinks is special. 

Well, maybe he's being dramatic. That's probably not the case, but Toge just wants answers. Why did Yuuta feel like he had to lie to him?

He thought they trusted each other. 

Toge huffs, plucking a rose from a nearby bush. It's pure white, almost silvery blue in the moonlight, and the stem pricks Toge's hand as he grabs it. He hisses, looking down to the sting of pain where blood beads under his skin from the puncturing thorns. But instead of stopping the bleeding, he continues holding the rose, clenching his fist tighter around it. He needs to sit down and sort through his thoughts. 

Just beyond the flower walk is a limestone path leading to Toge's favorite part of the gardens. A domed gazebo, crafted from smooth marble, sits encircled by fragrant rows of blue hydrangeas and pink daisies in full bloom. Small lanterns lit with gentle orange flames line the walkway to the structure, fireflies of a matching hue pulsing around them.

Toge carefully starts down the path, picking his way through easily under the wash of pure moonlight. It turns everything mystical, unreal. He can hear the windchimes hung around the pavilion, and the little waves on the surface of the pond near the gazebo. Tall trees with twisted trunks scatter their petals across the area, carried by a gentle night breeze. 

It's getting colder out, and he spots a faint caress of mist on the water's surface, rising up in earthbound clouds of thin grey. 

Not only can Toge see mist, but he can also make out the outline of a person, sitting on the marble bench in the center of the hut. 

Unmistakably draped in dark velvet clothing, his black hair slicked down against his neck, is Yuuta. He turns at the soft sound of Toge's footsteps hitting the marble stairs, face lighting up in recognition. 

Almost like he's been waiting there, expecting Toge’s arrival. 

Yuuta is bathed in purple light, standing like he's about to rush to Toge's side and greet him, but stops himself. His brows are knit in deep thought and his hands rub together, a habit Toge knows he only does when he's nervous.

"Look, Toge," he says, voice soft. "I was hoping you'd come here. I can't explain to you what's happening, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you, and... and I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I don't want to. I-I miss you, but..." Yuuta trails off, dropping his hands to his sides. 

He pauses for a moment before whispering; "I'm just making things worse, aren't I?" 

Toge stares at Yuuta in the silence, thinking of what to do next. A particularly strong wind passes through, shaking the trees and skirting the surface of the pond. Drops of blood fall from Toge's palm where he still clutches the rose, blossoming in florets of deep red on the pristine floor of the gazebo. 

Somehow Yuuta manages to notice the crimson drops. His eyes widen, immediately drawn to the flower in Toge's hand. 

"You're bleeding," Yuuta mumbles, stepping forward and gently taking Toge's hand into his own, treating him as if he may break. 

Yuuta pries the rose out of Toge's grip and lets it fall to the ground, carefully swiping his thumb across the tiny pinpricks of blood until they stop their active bleeding. Toge watches him treat his wound, uncomfortably still and not used to this kind of attentive care. He studies Yuuta's face carefully, noting how his features twist in concentration as he continues to examine Toge's hand. 

"Yuuta," Toge says, as confidently as he can muster. "Tell me."

He can sense that Yuuta really doesn't want to, but Maki will come to find him soon, and Toge can't keep carrying on like this- never seeing Yuuta or knowing what he's up to. He doesn't want to leave this gazebo without answers. 

He doesn't want to lose Yuuta again, not when he has him right here.

"Something dangerous is going to happen tonight, and I need to be here to stop it. I want you to understand, Toge, I've missed you so much the past few months, I... I would tell you everything if I could," Yuuta says, as vague as ever. It's not like him and it's so frustrating that Toge wants to cry. 

"Why can't you?" Toge asks, trying his hardest to be kind. There are no secrets between them. If Yuuta is keeping something from Toge, it must be worth it. He's trying to be understanding, but... 

"You'll know soon, but before then I need to protect you, I-" Yuuta looks up at Toge, his face clouded, like he's at war with himself. "Just know that I'm doing all of this for you." 

What? Toge can feel his knees attempt to buckle at the weight of that statement. Everything moves in slow motion as Yuuta lifts Toge's hand to his mouth, not breaking eye contact, and presses his lips to his knuckles in a butterfly-light kiss.

"You look beautiful tonight, my Prince," Yuuta says, dropping Toge's hand. Yuuta is blushing a bright pink as he says it, the color dusting across his cheeks and ears. Maybe the distance has turned Yuuta mad. Maybe it's made Toge feverish, too, because he feels too hot all of a sudden, and despite Yuuta's forwardness, neither of them are sure how to proceed. 

"I-I'll, um. I'll go then. You should return to Lady Maki and join everyone," Yuuta says, voice an awkward whisper. He backs away, nearly tripping over himself, and now it's Toge's turn to be hit with impulsiveness. 

He darts forward, grabbing Yuuta by the collar of his shirt before he can get any further. Toge has to balance on his toes just to get ahold of Yuuta, reaching up and pulling him down with one hand, placing the other on his chest. Toge leans in and presses his lips softly to Yuuta's temple in a chaste kiss. 

"You better not be lying," he says, voice wobbling. "Stay safe." 

Toge drops back onto his feet, releasing Yuuta and attempting to keep some of his composure. Yuuta stares down at him, eyes wide and face full of wonder, and Toge wants to look away. 

"I-I will," Yuuta says, nodding, unable to stop a grin from spreading across his face. Toge brings his hands to his chest, trying to ignore how his knuckles still tingle from Yuuta's lips, and how he has just returned the favor.

With that, Yuuta leaves the gazebo, his figure disappearing from the lantern lights and fading into the darkness of the gardens. Toge can barely hear his retreating footsteps, but once he's sure Yuuta's gone, he leaves the structure as well and hastily walks down the path, through the roses and back to Maki. 

Toge doesn't know what to make of this. 

Any anger he wanted to hold against Yuuta, all the hurt, all but broke upon seeing him. The concern he showed was enough to let Toge know that his Yuuta was still there, and if trusting him will have consequences, then so be it. He'll have to be careful for the rest of the night, but there'll be plenty of time later to process what's happened. 

Right now, he needs to re-enter the ball and tell Maki what he's learned. 

"Toge?" Maki asks, pushing herself off the wall and coming to meet him. 

"Something's going to happen," Toge says, wasting no time. The physician's medicine must be wearing off because using his voice sends a ripple of pain up his throat, causing him to cough. Maki notices and immediately takes the bottle out of her breast pocket, handing it over to Toge who throws it back.

"What do you mean?" She asks, annoyed at his lack of straight answers. 

"Yuuta," Toge says, letting the numbness wash over his throat before continuing. "I saw him. He said there's danger." Maki's eyes narrow, studying him to discern if Toge's lying or not.

"How unhelpful and scary," Maki says, looking very much like she'd like to go find Yuuta and punch him in the face herself. Toge shrugs, because there's nothing more to offer- she basically knows everything he does now. 

Well except the part where Yuuta was, for lack of a better term, wooing him. 

"Well, whatever. There are guards everywhere but if you want to trust your lover boy, then I’m with you. Let's just get back for now." Maki turns heel without waiting for any response from Toge, leading them back through the passageway and into the kitchen. They sneak into the ballroom hidden by another procession of staff, and judging by the desserts on their serving trays, the night has carried on without Toge in attendance.

Maki walks ahead to take her place once more at the side of Toge's throne, swapping out with Megumi, who had been standing there pretending like his prince and supervisor weren't sneaking around outside.

Toge loses sight of them as it takes longer for him to return to his seat, greeting various diplomats and their daughters who approach him as he floats through the crowd. They are sly and calculated, no doubt. Everyone seems to be scrambling to make an impression on him, in an attempt to be the first to win his favor. But through all the fluffy conversation, all Toge can possibly think of is Yuuta, who must be out in the crowd, waiting and knowing something that he doesn't.

He needs to stay alert, to search the ballroom and keep on his toes. But before Toge can get back to his spot at the throne, he's stopped in his tracks. 

"Well hello, little one." 

Oh great. Toge looks up to see his elder brother with a ridiculously bejeweled goblet in hand, brimming full of dark red wine. 

"Have you been enjoying the festivities? This is all for you, you know," he says, gesturing to the room around them. Toge wants nothing more than to brush past him, but they're in public, and he doesn't want to start rumors between the two of them.

"I'm having a good time," Toge replies, grateful for the dose of the medicine that Maki had made him take. Something about being in front of his brother like this makes him feel small - feel worthless. He wants to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. 

"Oh, are you? Then why were you just sneaking off?" He asks, and Toge’s heart drops. He looks up to see his brother leaning in closer, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips. 

"What, cat got your tongue?" He continues to tease, to prod, low enough that none of the swarming crowd can hear him, privy to Toge's ears only. Rage brews deep within Toge's belly, replacing the chilling fear. He wants to yell and curse, to fight back, but he can't. 

He has to play his role. 

Toge tries to bow, to excuse himself from his brother's presence as politely as possible. 

"Come on now, you're no fun. But if you simply must go," he calls after Toge, "then remember to save a dance for me." 

As quickly as his feet can take him, Toge goes back to his throne, eyes trained downwards and head buzzing with a million thoughts, feeling like a swarm of bees is trapped in his brain. How badly he wanted the night to end before pales in comparison to now. The atmosphere is suffocating, Toge’s pulse rapid as more guests line up to meet him.

Out of his peripheral vision, Toge spots a chalice of water being offered to him. He smells the medicine on its surface and, without thinking, raises it to his lips to take a deep gulp. When he swallows, however, the sensation is entirely different.

The coughing hits him first. 

It tears up through his throat, burning like nothing Toge has ever experienced before, more painful than the day his brother slashed his throat. He feels like fire itself is trying to claw its way up and out of his mouth, constricting his breathing.

Toge looks to his right, vision already blurry at the edges. Maki didn't hand him the drink- and to his utter surprise, she and Megumi are nowhere to be seen. 

My medicine... Toge thinks of the smell that hit him before he took a sip. He thought it was the physician's elixir, but no, it must've been....

I've been poisoned, he realizes, staring at the chalice grasped weakly in his fingers. It must be strong, if one drink is enough to take such a hold on him. Toge looks around to find someone, anyone that he trusts, to help him. 

But he's surrounded by his brother's guard and guests, no Yuuta, Maki, or Megumi in sight. Something horrible wracks Toge's body with shivers and the cup falls from his hand, clattering to the ground. 

Screaming erupts from the crowd as they watch their Crown Prince slump forward, very clearly unwell.

"He's been poisoned! Prince Toge has been poisoned!" 

My brother. 

Toge had just seen him minutes ago. He should've known. He should've been smarter. Through his blurry vision, Toge spots his brother climb the steps to the throne, perfectly playing up the tragedy. Another jolt of pain passes through Toge, lightning fast and just as hot.

"Who did this? Show yourself!" His brother wails, scooping Toge up into his arms. He tries to fight back, to push himself out of his brother's grip, but he's too weak. Toge's body is taught with pain but he fights through it, attempting to put distance between him and the other prince.

Toge looks out into the crowd. Nobody moves to help him, and as he spots the King and Queen standing in the middle of the ballroom, their faces broken with genuine shock, he realizes they don't know what to do either. 

The plan is perfectly orchestrated: poison the one obstacle standing between you and the throne when so many guests are in the castle that it’s impossible to trace the origin. Get someone to distract Toge's most faithful allies, and then take the opportunity to play the innocent, appearing to everyone as the grieving and concerned brother. 

Toge realizes, terror a dull stab in his chest, that he could die right here, and nobody would suspect the true culprit. 

"Your Highness, are you accusing one of your guests of murder?" 

Yuuta . 

Toge opens his eyes, not having realized they fell closed, his gaze landing on Yuuta, still dressed in his full velvet regalia with a gleaming sword donned at his hip. 

He didn't have that before.

The crowd parts to make way for who they see as a masked stranger. His voice carries weight in the empty hall, spoken like the true son of a General, eyes trained solely on the older prince, whose face has fallen at his words.

"I'm asking you, Your Highness." Yuuta repeats, now at the foot of the throne. 

This is too public, too dangerous. Even if Yuuta knows that Toge's brother has poisoned him, how will he prove it? It's nothing short of idiotic to challenge him here, in front of everyone. Toge struggles again in his brother's arms, as much as he can manage. He needs to stop Yuuta. 

"How dare you speak to me that way... What are you implying?" His brother snarls, cradling Toge closer to him and causing him to wince. Yuuta takes another step towards the throne, looking mere moments away from raising his sword and engaging in a duel. The shadows under his eyes seem intensely darker.

"I'm not the one implying anything. I just think it's odd you care about your brother now, when you were the one who gave him his scar in the first place. Isn't that right?" Yuuta asks, leaning in.

The dramatic confession elicits a scandalized gasp from the guests. They all truly believed that Toge was injured in an accident, a lie the Crown had fed them for years. To accuse the eldest prince of something so vile, in front of everyone, seemed ridiculous. 

But here Yuuta is, doing it anyway. 

"That's- How did you know that?" Toge's brother says, his voice a snake-like hiss. The admission is meant to be quiet, but in the crowd’s stunned silence, it is easily heard. He's not smart enough to stop his thoughts from escaping, and now everyone is finally hearing the truth.

Unlike Toge, his brother was brought up in his parents' graces. He didn't have to strive to impress every waking day of his life. He didn't have to learn when not to speak and what to say. 

"So you think I poisoned my own brother?" He scoffs, trying to recover. "Guards, seize this traitor!" 

But just as he issues the command, Yuuta takes off his mask, exposing his face. And though he's not a noble, he is easily recognizable, both to the patrons of the ball and the guards lining the walls. He is their captain and the son of the General, who protects the people. Those in the castle know he was Toge's tutor, and they would be stupid to not realize he's most likely telling the truth. 

Since the guards hesitate in following their orders, Toge's brother grows fastly impatient, hand moving to his own sword. Toge's head throbs in pain, his breath coming out quicker, struggling in a weak attempt to stay conscious.

"You're defying me, Sir Yuuta? After all I've done for you?" His words may be confident but he's panicking. Toge can hear the tremors in his voice. 

"You've done nothing for me," Yuuta says, cold and even. "Now give me the antidote and step away from the Prince, or I'll kill you." 

That was an undeniable threat. Toge has no doubt in his mind that Yuuta will follow through with it. The look in his eyes is downright murderous, a darkness so intense he's almost unrecognizable.

Yuuta is intimidating in his coal-black attire. He has wielded a blade many times, and even during their training, Toge only managed to beat him once or twice. He is the best swordsman the castle’s ever had, and anyone would be a fool to challenge him. 

Which Toge’s brother just so happened to be.. 

He drops Toge into a heap on the carpeted floor, standing to unsheathe his sword. His rush forward is clumsy, and it’s easy to see that he’s not used to hand-to-hand combat, especially not when it's serious. Yuuta easily blocks each swing he throws, not even breaking a sweat.

Toge's body is seized by another wave of pain, his nerves fizzling weakly, and he whimpers into himself as he waits for the shock to subside. Yuuta hears it, because of course he does, and there's a break in his concentration. 

"Toge!" Panic fills him at hearing his name. Not only is it risky to say his name in public, but the distraction leaves Yuuta vulnerable. Even if his brother is a pitiful fighter, a single misstep could cause Yuuta's downfall. 

Mustering all the strength he possibly can, Toge uses his elbows to crawl forward, dragging himself along the carpet to his brother's feet. He grabs onto his ankles, stopping him from taking another step and striking at Yuuta, instead sending him crashing to the ground with a heavy thud.

That manages to stun him and gives Yuuta the opportunity to duck and roll, evading any sword strikes and positioning himself behind the elder prince, and right in front of Toge. 

His brother shakily rises to his feet, pushing himself upward, looking absolutely furious. He redirects his anger in an attempt to swing at Toge this time, but Yuuta swipes his sword downwards, dropping to his knees and stopping it before it can even come close.

"Don't even think about it," he says, pushing their blades together and leaning into the pressure. In one swift motion, he disarms Toge's brother, sending his sword flying across the room. It clatters harshly at the feet of nearby courtiers, who scream and back away. 

"Now give me the antidote," Yuuta says, stepping forward. He points the tip of his sword to the elder prince's neck, steel dangerously close to his exposed flesh. 

Toge's brother looks at his form, still slumped on the floor, before wildly glancing back at Yuuta. He's sweating, the whites of his eyes flashing like cornered prey. There is nobody there to help him- no guards, not even the King and Queen, not after the blatant attempt he's made to kill Toge. 

"Fine," he says, spitting the words out like venom. "Come save your stupid Prince." 

He reaches into his pocket and grabs a small glass vial stopped with cork, a sickly green liquid sloshing around inside. Yuuta lowers his sword, taking a step towards him, and Toge is hit with a sudden feeling of dread.

This is too easy. There's no way his brother would give up just like that, even without any allies. He would still think there's some hope left- he would still have a way to finish the job. 

Toge tries to think quickly of what it could possibly be, but his brain isn't moving fast enough. Yuuta is now directly in front of his brother, reaching out for the vial, and Toge sees it too late. 

A sharp-tipped dagger, carved from steel and with a thick handle, flashes in his brother's hand. 

"Y-Yuuta!" Toge tries to warn him. But his voice is too weak to carry, and his warning isn't quick enough.

He watches as his brother plunges the knife into Yuuta's abdomen, twisting it, the weapon meeting flesh. Yuuta's cloak is too dark to see the blood spread, but he staggers back, black hair falling to frame his face as he doubles over, hand moving to cover the wound. His face is contorted in pain, and Toge's heart shatters at the sight.

He's going to die , Toge realizes. He has to do something. He tries to drag himself over to Yuuta, crawling painfully, but his vision is fading fast. Unconsciousness is threatening to consume him, wrapping tendrils to pull him into nothingness. The pain in his body is numbing - it's all too much to handle.

As Toge reaches out for Yuuta with the last of his energy, he slips into the darkness before he can get there, and the last thing he remembers is the shouting of everyone around him. 

When he comes to, Toge's body is in excruciating pain. He feels like he's been trampled by a horse, his throat and each one of his limbs protesting his sudden awareness. 

For a moment he's confused, bleary eyes unable to focus on his surroundings. He could be anywhere- in the castle, dead, all the way across the country. 

But then he identifies the covers tucked over his body, the familiar canopy of his bed above him, his dressers sitting in the corners of the room, and his window closed shut. It's light outside, but the brightness hurts to look at, and Toge turns away from the blinding sunlight to bury his face into his pillow. 

His head is screaming at him, rolling pulses of pain washing over him as he tries to recollect what he can remember.

The first thing that comes to mind is... the party. Entering the masquerade and dancing, seeing Yuuta, going into the gardens...

And being poisoned. His brother had poisoned him and stabbed Yuuta. 

Where's Yuuta?  The desperate realization crosses his mind, the panic enough to clear whatever haze sits there thickly. Toge lifts his head off his pillow to look around, to search for someone, or maybe find a way to call for Maki.

He needs to know if Yuuta's okay. Toge can't even bear to think that he may not be.

Frantically scanning his room, Toge's eyes find a figure sitting near the head of his bed, in an old chair stolen from the kitchen. He blinks, trying to see through his fogged vision, attempting to identify anything about the sleeping person. 

Then he slowly takes form, with strong arms crossed over his broad chest, head resting against the wall as he dozes. He wears a standard white uniform, black hair a stark contrast, and Toge feels tears well up in his eyes. 

"Y-Yuuta," he tries to call out. Even saying a name causes his throat to strain and tear, a pitifully dry cough ripping out of him. Toge buckles over as it escapes, eyes shut in pain. 

"Huh... Toge!" Sleep bleeds from Yuuta's voice as he wakes to the sound of Toge's hacking, clearly disoriented. But he fights through it to appear at Toge's side, offering him a drink of water. Toge takes it gratefully, trying to swallow it down slowly, not wanting to aggravate his throat again. 

Yuuta settles himself on top of Toge's bed, resting a hand on his knee through the plush covers, as he anxiously observes him chug the whole cup. The warmth is reassuring, grounding Toge back to reality.

Yuuta’s not dead. He's really here, with Toge, watching over him with all the concern and care in the world, and so much is held in his gaze that it hurts. 

Once Toge is done drinking he sets the chalice down. He's trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his skull and the soreness of his body so that he can focus on Yuuta, and finally figure out what’s going on. And he's not going to take Yuuta's vague distractions for answers again. 

"Are you okay? How do you feel?” Yuuta asks quietly, his grip on Toge's knee tightening. 

Are you okay? Toge wants to ask, because Yuuta was stabbed for God's sake. He raises his eyebrows in response, pointing at Yuuta's abdomen. The uniform shirt is thick enough that Toge can't see the skin underneath, but he can only imagine the horrid healing process that Yuuta has put himself through.

"I'm fine," Yuuta says, smiling. "Luckily the dagger didn't go too deep- I was wearing lots of layers. They were able to patch it up, and it should heal properly." 

Toge's eyes drop down to where Yuuta is indicating, a terrible lurch in his stomach. Even though Yuuta was going to be fine, being wounded like that was no small matter. Much less has caused men to fall. Toge reaches out gingerly, placing his hand on Yuuta's stomach, careful not to press too hard. The skin underneath is warm and lively, but Toge feels terrible. If only he had warned Yuuta in time...

"Hey," Yuuta says gently. "It's not your fault. I'm going to be okay. And I would do it again if I had to." Suddenly, Toge is reminded of what Yuuta said during their meeting in the garden, spoken hushed and serious under the cloak of night. 

‘Just know that I'm doing all of this for you.’

"What happened," Toge asks, trying not to flinch as it rips through his throat. Yuuta's blue eyes dart away, like he still doesn't want to tell him. But then he lets out a heavy sigh and stands up, the loss of his weight shifting the bed. 

"Your brother was imprisoned. After what he did, there was no case he could make for himself. He won't hurt you again." Yuuta pauses, choosing his words carefully. "I've known for a few months that he was planning this assassination. I just didn't know how, because he kept it a secret from me, but I overheard him speaking with one of his gentlemen." 

Toge's breath leaves his body. He's always known that his brother has hated him, and that this makes the second attempt on his life, but hearing someone else say it just makes it painfully real.

"I-I couldn't say anything then, because nobody would believe me. I would be conspiring against a prince. And I didn't want to tell you, because I was worried... I just- I wanted to handle it on my own. I wanted to protect you." Yuuta is pacing his room now, working himself into a nervous flurry as he tries to explain everything. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I shut you out. I can't even imagine how that must've hurt you, and I- I know I'm a terrible person for it." Toge shakes his head aggressively, his heart going weak at the blame Yuuta is placing on himself.

"Stop being so kind," Yuuta says, without any real bite behind it. "There was no way I could tell you. And I knew that if I saw you, I would slip up. So I kept it a secret and planned to be there, last night, undercover, so that your brother would have no suspicions." 

It all makes sense now, Yuuta refusing to accept his brother as "his prince", the disguise, lying to Toge about his attendance. While Toge is sure they could have figured it out together, especially if that meant getting all those months without Yuuta back, the gravity of the situation floors him. 

To think that all this time, Yuuta was... 

"Toge, I need you to know something. It's... I never joined your brother's guard because I wanted to. When I was offered the position, I took it so that I could keep an eye on him. I hate him." Yuuta's fists ball at his sides, a simmering anger turning his knuckles white.

"I hate him so much for what he did to you, and I couldn't stand by and let him keep hurting you."

Toge feels like he could pass out again. Yuuta suffered under the guise of serving his brother, just to protect him? The kindness is overwhelming, suffocating. His heart beats erratically. 

Toge has never thought it possible for someone to care for him with such intensity - even Yuuta, who has made willing sacrifices for him. Toge has missed Yuuta so much that his entire being aches, down to his soul. 

He looks up to see Yuuta crossing the length of his room again, kneeling by his bedside, face open and honest. 

"I understand if... if you don't trust me anymore. But I want to serve you Toge, and be by your side. I've never wanted anything more. I am wholly yours, if you'll have me." Yuuta bows his head, voice trembling at the edges like paper about to tear. 

Toge can't bear it anymore. 

He reaches down, tentatively placing his fingers under Yuuta's chin, and tilts his head up with deliberate softness. Yuuta's eyes are watery, blue and beautiful and swirling with a galaxy of stars. Toge stares at him for a moment, trying to memorize the sight, before crashing their lips together. 

Yuuta lets out a small noise of surprise, and it's so endearing that Toge can't help but smile against his lips, breaking their brief kiss. It's Yuuta's turn then to chase after him, and he stands, pulling Toge out of his bed and trying desperately to keep them pressed together. Toge's hands move up Yuuta's muscled chest, wanting to hold onto him and keep him there forever, to convey how much this means, everything in his heart that he can't put into words. 

There is nobody else Toge would rather have, nobody else Toge could even imagine wanting, after all these years. 

He feels Yuuta's hand find the nape of his neck, curling softly and hopelessly in the short ends of his hair, handling him with the gentleness one would use to cradle porcelain. Yuuta has to lean down even further to find Toge's lips, forcing his head to tilt back with a soft tug to his hair, and Toge just about melts into the embrace. 

Yuuta's lips are slightly chapped, but somehow unbearably soft, and Toge has to pull back because his knees are going weak. They don't move apart though, and Yuuta's breath fans warmly across Toge's lips, their noses bumping together. Toge is putty in his hands, looking up to meet Yuuta's dazed eyes, entranced in wonderment. 

Yuuta breathes out heavily, inclining his head to pepper gentle, warm kisses near the corner of Toge's mouth, to his cheeks, and then, chastely and with so much care, he plants a soft kiss on the scar that mars his throat. Toge all but whimpers, completely overwhelmed. 

"Toge," Yuuta says, low and sweet, whispers lost on Toge's skin. "My prince." 

He shifts back, moving his hand from Toge's neck to his cheek, palm big enough that Toge fits perfectly. It's so warm and so full of love that Toge leans in, nuzzling Yuuta's hand. It feels so right- they are two halves of a whole, finally returned to each other. 

"I promise I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe," he says, and Toge shakes his head. Yuuta looks at him so tenderly, so open, like he is something precious, and it's dangerous how loved Toge feels. 

He doesn't want Yuuta to risk it all just to protect him like he's been doing these past few months. What Toge desires is for them to have each others' backs. His worst nightmare almost came true, and the idea of Yuuta getting injured for his sake makes him sick. He wants to protect Yuuta just the same.

"And I’m yours," Toge mumbles, a grin on his face, before leaning into another kiss with Yuuta, the boy he loves, his knight, his best friend, together at last.