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Caleb had shown him to the beautiful room with its high ceilings and Zemnian architecture and its deep bathtub on their first night in the Blooming Grove, telling Essek that it was his room now, and that if he wanted any alterations to simply ask. The room was dominated by the large stained glass window depicting Essek and the Mighty Nein back in their home in Rosohna, gathered in together in the hot tub. The glass portrayed Essek in hues of violet and silver, dipping his toes in the water and surrounded by smiling friends. The vainer parts of him noted that it was a handsome portrayal and wondered if that was how Caleb saw him.
The second night, Caleb had knocked on his door an hour after dinner carrying his spellbook and a piece of amber on a chain and asked if Essek “would like to exchange theories”, as Essek had suggested back in Aeor. Of course, in Aeor this had been followed up by a full fifteen seconds of Caleb staring at Jester as Essek pretended politely that they were not talking about him.
But then, Caleb staring at Jester was nothing new, was it? Everyone involved seemed to have made a deliberate decision to pretend that Caleb was not hopelessly in love with her.
Caleb had spent the evening explaining the intricacies of polymorph to him. He explained conservation of mass and how to circumvent it, and Essek was surprised at how transmutation and graviturgy had used entirely different equations to approach the subject of mass and matter that nonetheless worked out to the exact same answers. Caleb explained the reasons behind why it was safest to only use polymorph to transform into beasts, how the wings of a bird, the front legs of a horse, and the arms of a humanoid all had the exact same bones, just structured slightly differently so that it really was the simplest thing in the world to transform between them. He explained the tactics of using the spell in combat, either to neutralize a powerful foe, as he had with the ice giant, or to protect a friend or oneself in a dangerous situation. His hands had brushed against Essek’s as he held his spellbook open to the right page, and when Essek had asked if it wasn’t dangerous, to give up one’s intellect for the mind of a beast, Caleb had locked eyes with him and leaned in to say “Your intellect becomes the beast’s, yes, but the emotions you feel for those around you are unchanged” and then immediately told him which creatures were clever enough to still form coherent thoughts (giant eagles if flight was needed, giant apes for strength and endurance, and dolphins or orca for aquatic purposes). Somehow it was nearing dawn by the time they had finished talking and Caleb stumbled off to bed.
The third day they went flying together. Essek had fretted about how bright it was and sheepishly warned Caleb that he would struggle in the sunlight until Caleb reminded him that he would have new eyes for the expedition. The Blooming Grove was beautiful from above, a bright spot of flowers and springs and vegetation in greens and purples in the too-pale Savolier woods. They found a thermal and rode it up, up, up and above the woods. Essek was no stranger to flight - the Fly spell was one he almost always had at his disposal. What he wasn’t used to was the joy that came from the flex and strain of muscle and feather, of flying under his own power rather than simply willing it, or how easily the eagle’s eyes picked up the vibrant colors of the grove. When they finally swooped down to land just as his spine straightened and the feathers shed from his skin and dissipated back to wherever that matter had been called from, Essek realized two things:
First, that he had never really seen a forest by daylight, and that it was perhaps the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Second, that for the entire hour they had been flying he had not thought once about his many sins, or the reckoning that was coming for him (be it at the hands of the Bright Queen or the Scourgers), or how deeply unworthy he was of the trust that the Mighty Nine, and Caleb in particular, had put in him.
It seemed to Essek that etiquette suggested that it was his turn to share a spell, but he found himself completely at a loss. At first he considered selecting something powerful and dangerous (Hadn’t Caleb said he was attracted to power?) but he couldn’t imagine how they would practice Dark Star or Reality Break safely within the confines of the Grove without insulting their hosts, or how the experience could compete with Caleb taking him flying. And wasn’t the whole point of having saved the world that they didn’t have to fight anymore? The only battle left for Caleb to fight was against his former master, and selfishly Essek did not want to remind Caleb of that looming inevitability.
It seemed increasingly likely in hindsight that what had happened was a date, or perhaps two dates. The truth was, Essek did not really know how to court someone. There had been occasional attempts from others to draw his eye, and he had always told himself he had no time for such things (You told yourself you had no time for friends, either, didn't you?) until eventually people just...stopped trying. Now he had somehow made it to nearly his twelfth decade without having even basic competency in what was apparently a critical skill. Was Caleb's thigh pressed up against his while he copied the spell flirting, or simply the consequence of a perfectly understandable desire to keep his spellbook within reach? Both options were well within the realm of possibility.
Fortunately, he was saved from indecision by Molly speaking several new words at dinner and the ensuing flurry of activity around him, which kept the entirety of the Mighty Nein delighted for hours. Essek didn’t know the Molly that had once been, and this new Molly seemed barely conscious, but Fjord was relieved and Jester was laughing and Caleb was watching her laughing and Yasha was shedding tears of joy that Beau was shamelessly kissing away and that night they were all so relieved and happy that Essek couldn’t help but feel happy too. He ended up spending the evening drinking tea with Caduceus as the two of them enjoyed the second-hand euphoria.
In the end the spell he chose wasn’t even Dunamancy. That wasn’t important though, what was important was that he was certain that Caleb would love it. Telepathic Bond had been mandatory reading when the war was at its height, when there had been talk of the power of communication and tactical advantages, but back then Essek hadn’t had anyone in his life with whom he was close enough to feel safe casting it. Caleb though...in Aeor Caleb had slipped into telepathy like it was his first language. And the Mighty Nein were certainly close enough to enjoy being able to hear each other’s thoughts. Most of them seemed perfectly comfortable saying every thought that popped into their head out loud anyway.
So the fifth night in the Blooming Grove, it was Essek who came to Caleb’s room shortly after dinner, the timing necessary to avoid keeping Caleb up all night even if it did regrettably mean that Beauregard caught him floating nervously in the hallway and resulted in her knocking loudly on the door and shouting “Caleb, you have a visitor ” in a tone that she somehow managed to make seem vulgar despite it being strictly speaking true.
Any lingering nervousness Essek held regarding his selection dissipated at the look on Caleb’s face when he described the spell, and especially when he found out it was a ritual. It turned out that Caleb’s education in divination magic was woefully limited to a few simple but useful rituals and the tongues spell, and so they spent a great deal of time discussing the theory behind detecting and projecting thoughts, and then to the various techniques for tethering beings, and by extension their thoughts, together. Essek explains how the principles in play are the same as those behind Tether Essence , the spell he used to tie the two eyes of the Somnovum together. He explains how it can be used to entangle two creatures such that anything done to one: whether harmful or helpful, befalls the other, and his cheeks go dark when Caleb murmurs that he can think of a few “ interesting uses for a spell that entangles two people” in a tone that makes Essek’s heart pound.
The spell doesn’t actually require that you touch the target, and Caleb will realize that, but the night is growing late and Caleb seems to grow more open to physical touch the more interesting the conversation is, so Essek decides to be bold and pulls one hand from the wide sleeves of his mantle to touch Caleb’s cheek as he casts it.
<Can you hear me?> Essek thought, quickly withdrawing his hand.
<Perfectly> Caleb replied, then quickly followed up with <Is the spell limited to words?>
<Not at all. If you focus on an image, or a concept, you can transmit it as easily as words> Essek replied. He hesitated for a moment, and then added <Feelings too, if you like.>
What followed next was a series of perfect images, diagrams of a network of interconnected lines, except that it was clear that they weren’t lines but paths of thermal energy channeled from a central source as powerful as a fireball.
<Is this a spell?> Essek thought <I’ve never seen anything like it before> and underneath it he chose to layer the sensation of being impressed
<My own creation. Widogast’s Web of Fire> Caleb thought, and then there was something more complicated than words: a sensation of understanding, affection for one’s friends, an image of magic missiles <For when you need to be precise>. Caleb projected the image of the Mighty Nein, encircling some faceless hulking beast, and the lines of fire from the diagram snaking across the ground past Yasha and Fjord and Beauregard to target the beast, leaving them perfectly unscathed.
<You are brilliant, you know that?> Essek thinks, because it's true.
<It is nothing. Just something I noodled together> Caleb replies
<It is not nothing. If I am understanding right, and I think I am, then this spell carries the power of a fireball attached to the precision of a Magic Missile. It is a beautiful creation.> Underneath the words Essek makes the deliberate choice to lower the gate in his mind and let the admiration and affection he is feeling bleed through the link between them.
Caleb’s breath catches, and Essek can feel the surprise there through the link. His hand reaches out to brush Essek’s cheek and Essek is too slow to bring the gate back up before he can project far, far too much.
Affection. Admiration. Yearning. Warmth. Fear
Essek manages to compose himself before he lets the emotion that always follows the initial rush of Caleb touching him bleed through, the despair at the certain knowledge that Caleb is in love with someone else, couldn’t possibly feel the same way about him.
This time though, the despair is cut short by a sudden rush of emotion from Caleb: Surprise. Hope. Gratitude. Affection. Desire.
It is when Essek opens the gate in his mind again that Caleb leans in to kiss him, pausing with his forehead against Essek’s to ask out loud “May I?” and waiting for Essek to breathlessly whisper “please” out loud through the tangle of emotions before touching his lips to Essek’s. Caleb keeps the link intact, letting his obvious pleasure in Essek’s enjoyment echo back and forth between them until Essek is not sure which emotions are his and which are Caleb’s; certain only that he is enjoying all of them.