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Yoongi is pansexual.
He has known the fact that he isn’t straight for quite some time now. He has always had feelings towards people no matter what their gender is. He always falls for a person’s vibe, their personality, and how well he can get along with them. That is all that matters to him whenever he gets into a relationship. That was enough confirmation that he wasn’t exactly the most heterosexual person out there. The only thing that was missing was a label. Not that he needed to label himself to be valid. But knowing made his curious mind feel better. And now he has it.
Pansexual.
The word itself holds different meanings to different people. For him, it’s a label that perfectly explains what he feels towards people. The gender and what’s between a person’s legs never mattered to him. Only the person matters to him. When he finds someone attractive, he finds them attractive, no matter their gender. Whether it was his crush on the guy who was at the top of their class every year or his feeling towards the pretty girl who was his co-worker at his part-time. They both pulled him in by being themselves, nothing else mattered for him.
Ever since he figured out his label, he has been dying to utter the words out loud to someone. His family, his friends, his brothers, just anyone. Till now the only one who has heard him say those words out loud is his dog, Min Holly. Holly as interested as a dog can be while seeing his owner lose his mind over a set of words. Nevertheless, it felt fucking amazing to say those words.
Now, he feels as if he ready to let everyone else know that he is not straight. He is pansexual and very proud of it. He wants to the tell members as soon as possible. June is in two weeks, meaning pride month is here. And he wants this pride month to his first pride month as an openly ( well, as open as he can be with telling people near and dear to him) pansexual man.
So he sets out on a mission. He wants to start by coming out to the members first. He knows they will accept them. Maybe their acceptance can be enough inspiration and give him enough strength to come out to his family sometime soon.
Mission coming out, starts now.
1)
Yoongi’s first idea in coming out to his BTS members was straight up telling them. No extra fuss just the words. So that is what he decided to do. Yoongi isn’t someone who likes beating around the bush much. He is always straightforward with what he needs to say. Some might consider him rude for that but that is what gets him through most of the things in life. Like his coming out for this instance.
He decides to give them the news over a nice dinner that he makes all by himself. Seokjin-hyung comes in and tries to help him but Yoongi refuses. He wants to do this to the best of his ability. If things do end up going south, well he can at least be happy that he got to feed them a nice meal. Not that he is expecting things to go wrong. He knows his members, they are brothers before anything else and no matter, they will accept him. He trusts his brothers.
So after a nice dinner that contained every possible thing that could have ever thought of, Yoongi calls them to the living room of the dorm to share the news. After a while of convincing everyone that it isn’t anything serious, and no Jungkook he isn’t quitting the group to become a solo artist, everyone settles down.
“Okay, so I called you all because I wanted to give you guys some news,” Yoongi starts.
“That’s the fifth time we’ve heard the same thing, can we please move on?” Jimin whines and everyone hums in agreement.
“Okay okay god you guys are so impatient,” Yoongi complains and takes a deep breath. Just say the words Yoongi. They are going to accept you. Don’t overthink it.
“I’m-” pansexual, come on Yoongi say it. “-planning on releasing solo music, like a mixtape,” is what comes out instead.
What the actual fuck, Yoongi? Mixtape? Is that what’s important now?
“Yeah, just that,” Yoongi finishes with a nod.
“Okay?” Namjoon says but it comes out more like a question. “I don’t understand why you were so nervous about that. I mean both Hobi and I have dropped mixtape outside the group. You can do it too, it’s not a big deal. Do you need our help? With the lyrics, guide, or anything?”
It wasn’t technically a lie though. Yoongi has been working on his mixtape for a while. He has everything prepared and ready to go. He has submitted his mixtape to be released soon as well but maybe it’s better if he keeps that to himself right now.
“The title, I need help with the title. I don’t know what to name it,” Yoongi says. He chose the title for the mixtape, he knows what he is going to name the mixtape, why is he even doing this?
“Do you have any ideas yet?” Hobi asks him, the ever-present smile on his face making Yoongi forget most of his worries for the time being. What am I so scared of?
“I was thinking of naming it Agust D, I’m planning on releasing my solo work under the same name. It’s kind of like, a new side of me. The real me, if you might say so, that I want to portray with this mixtape. So I think that’s fitting. What do you guys think?” he asks. Not planning, that is what I’m naming it.
“I think that’s a great idea Yoongi-hyung. Agust D by Agust D. Oohh i like it. Can I feature in it? Please hyung, please please?” Taehyung pleads, blinking his eyes at him in an innocent way.
“I’ll think about it, okay?” Yoongi says and it seems as if that is enough for Taehyung who starts cheering happily. Sorry, Taehyung-ah. Maybe next time I’ll do that.
“Is that all, hyung?” Namjoon asks. If Yoongi didn’t know any better, he would think that Namjoon was starting to get a little suspicious. Yoongi schools his face to stay neutral and not give out whatever fear he has inside of him and nods at Namjoon. Namjoon shrugs satisfied with his reply.
“Okay, now can we go to sleep? We all have an early schedule tomorrow,” Seokjin says and herding the members out of the living room. Yoongi receives a hug from Jungkook who is extremely relieved that Yoongi isn’t leaving the group and going solo. Oh, sweet Jungkook.
Mission coming out, Day 1 was a fail.
2)
Since his first failure at coming out, he has been thinking of ways he could do it. He takes the help of the internet by Googling the best ways to come out. He finds that dropping subtle hints and slowly working up to the grand reveal is a good way to go. So he decides to do just that.
First on his dropping subtle hint journey was making pancakes for the boys. Not just simple pancakes, rainbow pancakes. According to Pinterest, nothing screams I’m not straight, more than rainbow pancakes. After gathering all the necessary ingredients and getting started, he realizes that this is just way too much unnecessary work. Having to make a batter then separate the batter into different bowls and add food coloring them to make rainbow color-coordinated pancakes is just way too much work that he didn’t really sign up for.
Halfway through adding the purple food coloring in the seventh bowl of batter, Yoongi gives up. He cannot do this. Fuck Pinterest and the aesthetic. Straight up saying the words sounded better than this. He starts complaining and cursing out Pinterest under his breath which manages to catch the attention of the three younger ones sitting in the dining area thinking of what they wanted for breakfast and how much effort they’d have to make to get whatever they wanted.
The trio walks into the kitchen and sees Yoongi mixing the food coloring in the bowl. Jimin is the one who approaches Yoongi first.
“Well, aren’t you cooking way too much these days, hyung? What is with this sudden urge to play the housewife?” he asks teasing Yoongi. Yoongi just tells him to shut up and finishes the mixing part.
“What are you actually making though?” Jimin asks looking at the multicolored batter in front of him.
“Pancakes,” Yoongi answers.
“Colorful pancakes?” Jimin asks taking the bowl containing the red batter and handing it to Yoongi who has moved in front of the frying pan.
“Colorful? Wait, I saw it in a video a few days ago. Hyung, are you making those rainbow pancakes? I have wanted to eat it since I saw that the man in the video eat it,” Taehyung says coming to inspect.
“Yeah, that’s what I am making,” Yoongi answers and making his first pancake.
“Oh my god, hyung I love you,” Taehyung says and hugs Yoongi from behind. Yoongi smiles at the gesture but tries to break free.
“Let go or I’m going to hit you with this,” he says raising the spatula.
“But why so suddenly hyung?” Jungkook joins them as well, looking curiously over to the batter cooking in the pan.
Now Yoongi didn’t have a prepared answer for this question, the website that told him to drop subtle hints didn’t mention what he is supposed to do when curious little bunnies ask him sudden questions.
“I um, I just, I wanted to- um yeah,” is all Yoongi can come up with.
“That really doesn’t answer my question,” Jungkook says suspecting.
The question shouldn’t exist in the first place. I’m supposed to be dropping hints and you are supposed to be getting those hints.
“Why are you so concerned with the reason? Just enjoy the pancakes,” Jimin says.
“There’s no reason, Jungkook-ah. Can’t hyung make pancakes for you guys now?” Yoongi asks with a nervous chuckle hoping Jungkook doesn’t catch on.
“I suppose you can. But let you help. I can see your energy level is going down already. We have a busy day ahead of us,” Jungkook says with a cute smile, taking over Yoongi who lets him by stepping aside.
The trio starts bickering and making pancakes while Yoongi sets up the plates. Slowly, the other members join them in the kitchen too. Hobi and Namjoon volunteer to clean up after them and Seokjin takes the responsibility for the dinner. They all thank Yoongi for the pancakes and dig in.
He doesn’t know how successful he was with the subtle hints but a good breakfast was something all of them appreciated a lot.
Mission coming out, Day 2 awaiting results.
3)
After the first subtle hint drop, it was time for a second one. This time, he decided that he would try to broach the subject of his attraction towards people, mainly the same sex. And what better way to do it than drool and ogle over hot men while watching moves. So a Bangtan Movie Night by organized by Min Yoongi.
He decided to not pick the movies by himself and just let the others pick. After a long debate between everyone, they settled on Titanic. Yoongi wasn’t particularly interested in the movie but it got the job done. Young Leonardo Dicaprio made every person who was attracted to a man feel something.
A few minutes into the movie, Yoongi decides to proceed with his plan.
“Young Dicaprio was so good-looking, wasn’t he?” Yoongi asks.
“He was. I mean just look at his face,” Taehyung says with a dreamy sigh.
“He’s no competition to Brad Pitt,” Seokjin scoffs from the other side.
“Brad Pitt isn’t even in this competition. No one compares to Young Leo,” Namjoon fires back.
“Brad is hotter than Leo. Do whatever you want with that information,” Seokjin replies.
“Ok settle down, watch the movie you guys,” Hobi says which quiets down everyone and they concentrate on the movie.
“You know who I think is really hot? Park Seo Joon,” Taehyung speaks up again.
“Of course you do,” Jungkook says.
“I agree with Taehyung, his biceps are dreamy,” Yoongi adds.
“If we are talking about muscles, can we please talk about Wonho? God, what does he do to get those muscles?” Jimin says.
“Oh my god yes. He looks huge. I want muscles like his,” Jungkook says flexing his own muscles.
“Your muscles are good Jungkook-ah. Keep working on them and you’ll get there,” Yoongi says assuring Jungkook which earns him a cute smile from Jungkook.
“Yes, hyung is right. I want to get into working out too,” Namjoon sighs.
“Remember when Jungkook came to the dorms for the first time? He was so mesmerized by Namjoon’s thighs,” Hobi says teasing.
“I was not mesmerized by hyung’s thighs. I just thought he was cool. It wasn’t my fault he was in his underwear when I first came in,” Jungkook answers, cheeks heating up.
“Then pray tell what you thought was so cool about him? His hair?” Jimin says and laughs.
“Don’t bring my hair into this conversation,” Namjoon complains making everyone laugh.
“Why are you all ganging up against me? Aren’t we supposed to watch the movie?” Jungkook says grabbing a bowl of popcorn from the table and plopping one in his mouth to avoid answering anything else.
“Talking about your crush on Namjoon is much more interesting for us,” Seokjin says. Jungkook hits him with popcorn which makes Seokjin throw one back at him. This ends up in all of them having a popcorn fight instead of watching the movie.
Yoongi is once again confused if his plan of subtle hint dropping worked or not. Maybe next time he would do his big reveal. Maybe it’s finally time.
Mission coming out, day 3 awaiting results.
4)
Yoongi was ready for the big reveal. He was finally ready. He thought of calling a meeting again but he soon dismissed the idea. Calling a meeting would put him on the spot and he really doesn’t do well with being the center of the attention. Maybe that is why his first attempt at coming out didn’t fare over well for him. He tries to think of other ways he could do his grand reveal. In the end, he thinks of doing what he is best at doing.
Writing a song that expresses everything and listening to it with the members.
That would have him say the words he has been keeping to himself out loud in his comfort zone and not having the pressure to utter them with eyes on him. He sits down one evening and puts slowly starts putting his thoughts in order. He picks up his pen and starts writing every single one of his thoughts into the paper. By the time it’s nearly 3 am, he is done. He picks up the paper and reads through it. By the end, he has tears in his eyes. It is all finally sinking in. he is going to come out to the members. He decides to leave the beats and melody for the next day. He places the lyrics paper inside his notebook and goes to sleep.
It’s a few later when Yoongi is done. The song is done. Complete and sitting inside his laptop. He just named it “happy coming out” for now. Maybe one day, when he is more comfortable with himself and the company allows him, he will release this song to the world. For everyone to listen and know his feelings. But that’s something that he is going back to in some time, for now, the members are his priority.
He decides to go to Namjoon first. He tells him that he finished a song and would like it if the members and he could take a listen and tell him their thoughts. Namjoon tells him to they could schedule it for tonight when the members come back from their schedules. Yoongi agrees and goes back to his studio to listen to the song one last time to see if he can make changes.
By the time the members are there, Yoongi feels like a big ball of stress and anxiety. He is seriously considering playing another of his songs that he made a long time ago. But he convinces himself to not do that. He has this chance and he should take it. No backing out this time. He can do it.
The only problem comes in when the members are joined by an uninvited guest. Bang Si Hyuk, aka Bang PD, their boss. This was not what Yoongi had planned. He wasn’t ready to tell Bang PD about his sexuality just yet. But he couldn’t exactly ask him to get out. Not when the meeting was held because of a song he had completed.
“Hyung, I met Bang PD-nim when I was coming here. I told him you completed a song and he insisted that he wanted to hear it too,” Namjoon says.
“It’s okay, Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi says.
It’s not okay Namjoon. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
He is left with two choices now. He can either play the song he wrote for coming out with Bang PD here and have him react negatively to it, at least coming out is out of the way. Or, he could play the other song so he can get Bang PD out of the way and on a later date play the actual song for the boys, that gives him time to come out on his own time. He decides on his choice and plays the song. The other song he prepared a while ago.
Everyone listens to the song and by the end, everyone is smiling.
“I knew Min PD-nim would never disappoint,” Bang PD nods with a satisfied smile. Yoongi returns the smile but he isn’t exactly happy.
“Thank you, PD-nim. Guys, what do you think?”
“For some reason, I was expecting something else? But that was perfect, hyung. Maybe it could make it in the next album,” Hobi says.
“I agree with Hobi,” Seokjin says and smiles at Yoongi.
“Me too,” everyone else echoed.
“Thank you guys, that seriously means a lot to me,” Yoongi says with a genuine smile. Despite not being able to do what he wanted, he was happy that everyone was encouraging and supporting of him. He couldn’t have asked for better people in his life. He is extremely grateful for these six boys who are now his family. His chosen family.
That thought makes him genuinely happy and he isn’t sad about the night not ending the way he had planned it.
Mission coming, Day 4 failed but happily.
+1
Yoongi wakes up and looks at his phone.
June 1st. Happy Pride Month.
Yoongi didn’t a chance to get all the members together to play the song and now it’s pride month. However, not all hope is lost. They have a day off today. Maybe he could play it for them and still get a chance to celebrate this pride month as his first pride month as an out and proud pansexual man. With that motivation, he wakes up.
Once he reaches the door, is when he realizes that there were noises outside. Not that noises were uncommon when you live with six other very active boys who could either be having breakfast or preparing to go out since they don’t get days off frequently.
However, he could make out some of what was being said that made him suspiciously. Words like “get the cake already, he could wake up any moment,” were making him question what exactly was going on. He decides that instead of worrying his brain, he can just go out and check for himself.
Once he steps out of the door, he feels something being draped over his shoulders. Pink. Yellow. Blue. A pride flag. More specifically, a pansexual pride flag.
“Happy pride month, Yoongi-hyung!” he hears them say. In front of him, balloons are set up which spell out Happy Pride Month Min Yoongi. Jimin is holding a rainbow cake in his hand. Such a cliche thing. While the rest have pink, yellow, and blue balloons in their hands. He turns around and it was Seokjin who wrapped the pride flag around him. All of them have huge grins on their faces.
He doesn’t realize when the tears start falling out of his eyes but slowly his face is covered in tears but the happiness he feels on the inside is unmatchable to anything else happening around him. He knew his brothers would love him no matter what but he really didn’t think they’d ever do something like this for him.
But the question was how did they figure it out?
“How did you know?” Yoongi asks voice heavy with tears. Taehyung hands him some tissues that he uses to clean his face.
“You aren’t exactly subtle about it, hyung. You have mentioned in interviews that you like masculine men. But we didn’t really take it seriously because you know how this industry is,” Jungkook starts.
“We only confirmed it when I heard you talking to Holly one day. You told him you were pansexual. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I’m sorry but I just overheard,” Namjoon completes his sentence.
“It’s okay, I was trying to tell you guys,” Yoongi says sniffing. His tears have stopped, now he just has a huge smile on his face. He keeps on nuzzling into the pride flag still wrapped around his body.
“That is why we came up with this plan. The day you told us about your mixtape? I knew that wasn’t what you wanted to tell us. I saw your mixtape submission, hyung. But I didn’t want to push you into admitting it unless you were completely ready for it,” Hobi assures him.
“And your whole gay pancakes and drooling over men, we knew but we were just trying to indulge you. We were just waiting for you to tell us. The pancakes were just a bonus,” Taehyung says.
“So was teasing Jungkook’s crush on Namjoon,” Seokjin adds.
“Not a fucking crush,” Jungkook grumbles.
“Yeah yeah, we’ll believe you when you stop mentioning that every chance you get,” Jimin says and Jungkook just kicks him without a word.
“Stop, this isn't about Namjoon and Jungkook. Today is about Yoongi hyung,” Hobi says and gestures for the cake.
“I wrote a song, that explained my feelings. But Bang PD-nim had to join us,” Yoongi says and takes the knife Taehyung holds for him. Jimin holds the cake with a small candle lit up on the top. Yoongi blows the candle and cuts the cake.
“You can play it now. I had a feeling that this was what that night was about. That is why I said I felt a little disappointed. But I understood that you weren’t ready for Bang PD-nim to know yet,” Seokjin says. Jungkook offers to gran Yoongi’s laptop from his room and comes back handing it Yoongi. Yoongi opens the folder and plays the song.
Once the song ends, they all sit there, huge grins on their faces. Some of them have tears in their eyes, including Yoongi.
“That was beautiful, hyung. I’m so proud of you,” Namjoon is the first one to get up from his spot and pull Yoongi into a hug.
“Group hug,” he hears Taehyung scream, and slowly all of them join the hug.
“Happy Pride Month, Min Yoongi,” they all say and squeeze the hell out of Yoongi.
“I can’t breathe,” Yoongi wheezes out. They all laugh and pull away from the hug.
Mission coming out, a success.