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Josh shifted the car into park.
He desperately tried to still his trembling fingers as he turned the engine off. Suitcase forgotten in the trunk, he pushed the door open and all but fell out of the car, stumbling far enough away where he could close the door. He took a steadying breath, trying not to look too desperate as he rounded the corner.
Josh’s eyes darted to Tyler’s front door, and he froze. There he was, sitting on the top of his front steps, eyes cast downwards and face in the palm of his hand. And despite the fact that he was right there , it wasn’t enough. He didn’t know why he needed Tyler right by his side right now, but it was the only thing in his mind as he frantically waved his arm.
“Tyler!” Josh shouted, loud enough to get the other man’s attention. Immediately, Tyler’s head snapped up and his eyes made direct contact with Josh’s, and he was rising from his seated position on trembling legs --
And then he was sprinting .
As soon as Josh registered in his mind what was happening, he was moving forward too, tentative at first but quickly spurred on by Tyler’s unrelenting speed. Soon, they were both crashing into each other, the impact knocking the wind out of Josh, and almost tumbling the two of them to the ground before Josh regained his balance. They were here. Tyler was here, and so was Josh, and there was no longer even an inch of space separating them.
They held each other like that for a long time, rocking back and forth. It took a while for them to even remember how to speak again, as they were too enveloped in each others’ embrace to let a thought pass them by. Tyler craved this thoughtlessness more than anything. It only came with Josh and he missed it dearly.
Minutes passed before the silence was broken by Tyler, saying in a hushed tone, "Sorry if this becomes one of those hugs that last too long. I don’t want it to be awkward, I just--”
Josh cut him off with a small laugh, squashing Tyler’s worries. “This could never be too long."
Tyler, who was still a bit rigid from the newness and realness of this situation, relaxed completely and turned his head so it was buried in Josh's neck. He let himself realize that despite the distance, nothing changed. Nothing could change.
He felt a pang of guilt in his stomach at the very thought of himself doubting the two of them. Of course it wouldn’t change, this was Joshua Dun. All those years ago, he’d dropped every sort of consistency in his life just to experience one night with him, so why would anything be any different now?
And although that night was buried in the past, it didn’t matter. It still applied. And after they finally did manage to pull away from the hug, Tyler's face had broken into a shy smile that he desperately tried to hide, his cheeks dusted with pink. Josh beamed. "Hey, look at me."
And Tyler did. He didn’t entirely know why, but he could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes and he begged everything within himself not to let them fall. It was difficult enough to suppress how happy he was to see Josh in front of him after all this time, and even harder to hide the tears coming with it.
Josh looked at him, a little concerned at first before he realized the tears were happy. He gently reached up to cup the side of Tyler's face and Tyler leaned into it. "Let it out. It's okay Tyler," he said. Tyler did.
He laughed a little, frankly a bit embarrassed at how emotional this whole interaction had gotten him. But he listened to Josh, the person with whom he could always be himself, and let the tears slowly fall down. "Sorry", he whispered, and he honestly wasn’t even sure what for.
"Tyler. Tyler, baby, why are you apologizing?"
Tyler let out a choked sob. "I don't know. I really don't know, I'm-"
"Shh," Josh hushed, and there were his warm arms around him again. It all came spilling out right there; all those pent up emotions. But it was okay.
"I just… I just m-missed you so much," Tyler said through a smile, "But you're here."
Josh brought one of his big soft and gentle hands to the back of Tyler's head, holding him ever closer to himself. "You're right, I am here, and I'm not going anywhere. Not this time." There was something new in Josh’s voice, a sense of certainty.
Tyler almost didn’t register what Josh was saying, just buried his head into Josh's shoulder like he was the only thing keeping him tied to the earth (he was).
At one point, though, his mind processed it, and although it was a delayed reaction he responded. "What— what do you mean?"
Josh gently rocked them again. He assumed it was as soothing for Tyler as it was for him, still keeping his light hold on the back of Tyler's head, hoping to protect what's inside. He smiled to himself before softly whispering into the younger's ear, "I was thinking about moving back."
Tyler's world fell apart and rebuilt itself right before his eyes. He couldn't control his response, so he didn’t, and he shook in Josh's arms, knees weak.
"Josh," is all he could get out before he was crying again. "Josh, you're— you're serious?" he held on tight, bracing himself.
"Whoa, Ty, hey.." Josh said softly, helping to hold the boy who suddenly felt so small in front of him. "Is.. is that alright? Nevermind that, are you alright?" His voice slightly raised in pitch, becoming slightly worried at the reaction.
Tyler's knees buckled and he choked out an apology before he was sinking to the ground. Josh caught him and lowered both of them so they were sitting on the soft grass. "Yes. Yes, yes, Josh, yes it's alright," he managed. Josh just put his arms around him and rubbed his back and took a deep breath. A steady presence.
The smile on Josh's face grew continuously, as well as the swelling of his hammer beating heart. Before he knew it, soft tears started to wet his own cheeks. He began to question why it took him so long to come back home, back to Tyler. "I'm so glad to be back, baby."
Tyler quieted down and stopped shaking as hard, but his emotions were still running wild. Josh was moving back, back to him. The both of them stayed there, with no intention to move, and Tyler gained a weird sense of courage now that it seemed their souls were exposed.
"Dude, I could kiss you right now." The typical laugh he’d force after saying something like that was absent.
At first, Josh thought he’d misheard, but when he noticed the way both of them had frozen for a split-second, he knew his mind wasn't tricking him. Something about it all made Josh feel like this wasn't one of Tyler's jokes. He forced out a small laugh, "I'm sure you could."
Tyler forced his eyes up, looking directly into Josh's, searching for any trace of uncertainty. There wasn't any. Time was slowing down. They were only an inch apart.
Tyler managed to get the words out. "I want to. Do you want to?"
Josh suddenly forgot how to speak; to do anything. Tyler was so close, they were both so close, close enough he could feel the soft breath of Tyler ghost his lips. His eyes quickly flickered down to Tyler's own lips and back up to his eyes before finally finding enough strength to give a small nod.
Tyler shook as he closed the minimal distance between the two of them. Their lips brushed each other, both of them testing the waters, before Tyler moved in again and pressed his lips firmly to Josh's. Josh's grip at the back of Tyler's hair tightened.
They may have shared a kiss or two with other people but nothing ever felt like this before. The feeling of their lips on one another's was almost dizzying, as if it was a new high-end addictive drug that neither could get enough of. It felt like more than that, more than a kiss.
Tyler laughed in disbelief, but it got caught and silenced in their next kiss. To an outside perspective, it may have seemed awkward, but to them, there was nowhere else they'd rather be. A tear betrayed Tyler's eye and collected between both their faces, and Tyler held on so tightly he thought he might pass out.
After what felt like an hour but was really only a minute or two, they finally pulled apart, resting their foreheads against each other. They were out of breath, laughter leaving their soon to be swollen mouths. in the silence Josh whispered, "I didn't think I wouldn't want it to stop."
Tyler whispered back, almost breathless, "Well, I'm glad, because I don't want it to stop either."
He leaned in again, slower this time, catching Josh's lips with his own. There was no rush here, and they truly had all the time in the world now that Josh was here to stay.
The fact that Josh was actually here, actually moving back, was finally, fully setting in for Tyler. His best friend, the one he was currently borderline making out with (which was an event in itself) was actually moving closer to him. The thought only heightened their experience.
As much as he wanted to keep kissing Josh— to make it last forever— there was a question he had to ask. So, after a few more seconds he pulled back as much as he could muster and murmured against Josh's lips, "Why— what made you decide? To move back, I mean."
Josh couldn't help the small sigh that escaped him at the halt of Tyler against him. He closed his eyes, giving his shoulders a slight shrug before mumbling a response, "To be honest, I missed my family, I missed you. I missed you a lot, more than I'd like to admit, even."
Tyler breathed against him, in and out, processing Josh's words. "I don't know how I stayed away from you so long," He finally confessed.
A beat, and then he continued.
"I missed you too. so much, Josh. I don't even know how this is real right now." He chuckled a little.
Josh's body mimicked the chuckle of the other boy, paired with a faint smile before it faded into a feeling of guilt. Josh shifted his position, causing Tyler to look at him, eyebrows quirked up.
"I don't know why, but part of why it took so long was because I was afraid you'd be mad at me for leaving at all, in the first place. I know it's a bit irrational, but I had a feeling you’d think I didn't want to see you anymore, which isn't true at all, not in the slightest."
"Josh, no." Tyler raised his hands to cup Josh’s face, surprised at the admission. "I love you, Josh. I could never be mad at you for something like that. It doesn't matter. I don't care, as long as you're happy—"
"Tyler, can you repeat that?"
"Repeat what?"
Josh gulped, suddenly aware of everything around him. His face started to blush.
"What you said. At the beginning."
Tyler looked at the other, quaking a brow, "No?"
Josh shook his head, frowning a little, "The other thing."
Realization washed over Tyler's face, "I love you?"
"Yeah. Yeah, Tyler. That," Josh said, breaking eye contact and taking deep breaths, taking it all in. "You love me," He said it like a question.
Tyler realized that Josh had never heard him say it. Maybe in passing, or as a quip, but not like this.
"I love you," he repeated.
When Josh's eyes were still downturned, most likely in disbelief, Tyler rubbed his thumb across his cheek.
"Hey Josh, look at me. Did you hear that? Did you hear me? I love you." Tyler's voice was so soft, so sweet. It was beginning to be Josh's favorite sound in the world.
Josh finally allowed himself to look up, directly into Tyler's watery eyes, which were waiting for him, soft and kind. Josh's breath hitched in his throat.
"I love you," Tyler said it again, and that was all Josh needed to hear before he was surging towards him, meeting his lips.
The force of which Josh came at him slightly startled Tyler. Josh's hands mirrored his, slipping to the sides of his face, the tips of his fingers finding home near the ends of his hair. After the initial kiss, Josh pulled back to whisper a confession of his own, "I love you too."
This time, it was Tyler who surged forward, kissing Josh harder and holding his hair for leverage. He kissed him like it was the last time they would ever see each other, even though it was only just the beginning. They deepened it until they were practically falling into each other.
In ways they really were falling into each other; Josh had begun to subconsciously lean fully into Tyler, his hands now trailing down towards his chest, bunching the younger's shirt into loose fists. He wasn't totally sure of what he was doing, neither of them were, but it felt natural.
Tyler's heart beat fast under Josh's hands, and Josh could feel it. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was kissing Josh and Josh was kissing him— Tyler could barely remember his own name.
It felt right, though, and Tyler got up on his knees to gain leverage, hovering over Josh so he could sit in his lap. Josh moved to accommodate him, and they didn't know it was possible, but they were even closer now.
Josh would be a liar if he told you his heart wasn't beating just as fast, if not faster, than the boy currently situated in his lap. Maybe the fact he was in his lap and therefore so much... closer... than they were before was to blame for his heart pounding as it was.
The kisses turned desperate, as if they were searching for each other or trying to find an impossible way to get even closer than they already were. This feeling was so new and yet so welcome, as they had been gravitating towards whatever this was for so long.
With Tyler's eyes squeezed shut, he started using his hands to make up for what he couldn't see. He let them carefully slide across the tattooed arms of the other, up to his shoulders, sliding behind his neck and up into his hair again, not able to stop from lightly tugging at it.
A noise escaped from Josh's throat when Tyler tugged at his hair. It was something new, but again, it was welcome. Josh tightened his hands around Tyler's middle, pressing so close that he didn't know where Tyler ended and Josh began. "I love you," Josh managed between kisses.
It felt perfect, all if it felt so perfect, the weight of each other, the mere presence of each other. The touch, the taste, the feel. Tyler was too afraid to even open his eyes again, terrified it would all disappear. He tried to make the most of it as it came, not wanting to force anything at this moment. Both of them let their instincts take over, which wasn't hard at all considering this was a long time coming, whether they’d admitted it or not. The sounds of Josh's hushed whispers in his ear as he kissed him relentlessly felt like a dream.
Tyler's eyelids fluttered where he was forcing them shut, and it's almost like Josh sensed something was wrong because he was gently pulling back, holding Tyler's face and whispering "What's going on?"
Tyler's eyes were still squeezed shut.
"Hey Tyler, talk to me."
Tyler pursed his lips and shook his head, refusing to do what was asked of him. Josh pretended not to notice his slight shaking earlier, but now it was almost impossible not to.
"Ty... are you okay? did I- did I do something?" Josh scanned the other's face with worry in his eyes.
"I can't." Tyler forced out, small and weak. "I can't look at you.."
Josh's heart was beating quickly again but for an entirely different reason as a frown grew on his face.
"What if it all goes away?" Tyler barely whispered, "Like a dream?"
Josh drew him in close, holding Tyler and resting his face on the side of Tyler's. He rocked back and forth gently and moved his arms up and down his back. He needed him to realize that it wouldn't go away.
"Ty," Josh whispered into his ear. His breath ghosted Tyler's ear, making him shiver. "Tyler. this is real, okay? I'm not gonna force you to open your eyes. I just— I just want you to know that I'm really here." He moved his hands so they rested on Tyler's biceps, and Tyler let out a small noise.
He nodded a little, still not quite allowing himself to look at him, but the feeling of Josh's face on the side of his, Josh's hands lightly, almost barely, rubbing his arm, everything being Josh-- it simultaneously caused another small sob to escape him and further led him to believe that this was all real. Josh really was here, and despite that feeling of it all being too good to be true, it was. It really was true, and he lightly turned his head to kiss Josh's cheek, as though to fully convince himself.
"Yeah," Josh said lightly as he felt Tyler's lips press against his cheek. "There you go. see?" It took that same soft coaxing for a few minutes as Tyler's trembling stopped, but eventually he went still, pressed another kiss to Josh's cheek, and pulled back.
His eyes were still closed, but he willed his eyelids to stop squeezing shut and to relax. Josh continued rubbing his arms, thumb tracing over the soft skin there. "'s okay," Josh whispered.
Tyler opened his eyes.
Even though deep down he knew he'd be there, he was still somewhat surprised to see Josh's soft eyes and smile greeting him.
"There you are," he whispered, "And see? Here I am. I'm still," A slow kiss to the forehead, "Right," to his nose, "Here." he finished, with a slow peck to his lips.
And there he was. Tyler grounded himself in Josh's warm eyes and suddenly it was all real— the tingling of his kissed lips, the tear stains on both of their cheeks, Josh's messy brown hair.
He traced all of Josh's features with his eyes, committing it all to memory as if he hadn't spent the majority of his life by Josh's side in some way or another. It was familiar, and yet so new.
"Hi," Tyler said, the corner of his mouth quivering with a small smile.
"Hey, you dork." Josh said, trying to lighten the situation as he watched the others' eyes scan his face. Josh realized he probably looked a mess if he looked anything like Tyler, cheeks airbrushed a light pink color and hair that couldn't quite decide what direction to go.
Anxiety pinged in his gut suddenly. "That.. all of that," he said as he vaguely gestured between them, "That was okay with you, right?"
Tyler could hear the slight falter in Josh's voice, and he wanted it gone.
"Joshua," Tyler said, barely a whisper.
Josh looked at him, eyes a little wider.
"I've— I've wanted this since I met you, Josh. So yes. yes, it was more than okay."
Josh blinked. He wasn't quite sure what he was expecting for an answer, but it sure wasn't Tyler using his full first name and confessing he's wanted to do this since day one in the same sentence. Sure, Josh felt the same way, but to hear it come from Tyler and out loud made it so much more real.
When he finally spoke, it was as though Tyler was a brittle leaf that could be broken by any sound or movement sent his way, "You... have?"
Tyler smiled that same dorky little grin that Josh loved so much. "Yeah, like.... the first time we hung out, even. I was kinda hoping you'd be an ass, honestly, so I didn't feel that way towards you. But you were, like, pretty much the exact opposite."
Tyler paused a bit to think of his next words, how to put it, how to express just how long he's waited for this. "It's kinda embarrassing, 'cause I just never said anything, and that's why I didn't think this was real, but," Tyler rested his hands on Josh's chest. "but it is."
Josh shook his head a little, followed by his signature laugh, tongue slightly poking out between his teeth. He placed his hands over Tyler’s, "You're right, it is."
They enjoyed each other's silence for a moment until Josh spoke again, his smile able to be heard through his words.
"Sorry I'm not an asshole."
He thought for a moment.
"Actually, maybe I'm not. maybe we wouldn't be here if I was."
"I'm actually pretty glad you're not an asshole," Tyler said, pressing a soft kiss to Josh's lips. "’Cause I wouldn't trade this for the world."
Josh hummed contentedly, and without even realizing what he was doing, he was lying down on the soft grass, taking Tyler with him so he rested on Josh's chest. Tyler welcomed the change in position, shifting to get more comfortable and to be as close to Josh as possible. He wondered if anyone was watching them, wondering why they hadn't moved from this spot for so long. He decided he didn't care.
Tyler could hear Josh's heart beat, much calmer and slower than it was mere seconds ago. Josh found it oddly endearing how someone could have so much control over such a vital part of his body, but if he were to trust anyone with such a fragile thing, he trusted Tyler with it all.
Tyler's hair tickled Josh's chin as the two of them nestled closer. Josh let out a soft laugh at that, and Tyler lifted his head so they could make eye contact. His smile was brilliant and it sent a pang through Josh's heart. He was holding Tyler, and Tyler was holding him.
Josh smiled and slowly brought one of his hands up to start threading his fingers through the soft wavy hair of the boy before him.
“Should dye it pink," he said, almost absent-mindedly.
Tyler's eyes flicked up, attempting to see any of his hair that peeked over his head.
"Pink?" Tyler thought about it for a second. "That's a pretty random color," he remarked, voice light with the beginnings of laughter.
"I dunno," Josh replied, continuing to play with Tyler's hair. "I think it would look good on you. A nice change."
Tyler hummed in contemplation. He'd never dyed his hair before— not even a natural color. but Josh's suggestion bypassed all those barriers he'd set up in his own mind, because it was Josh .
"It depends," Tyler finally said. "Will you dye it for me?"
It was a simple question-- well it should've been to anyone else-- but Tyler felt like he'd just asked the most foreign request in the world. After all, he trusts nearly no one to do anything with his hair. Josh knew this, of course he knew this, which is why he was slightly caught off guard and hesitant to answer.
He nodded eventually, smiling a little, "Sure, I'd love to. Then whenever your face does that blush thing, your hair will match."
It completely hit Tyler right then: he was in love with Josh. He was so inconceivably in love with him, and it wasn't the grand moment they shared only a few minutes prior that made him fully realize. It was this. Josh, making another stupid little joke with that dorky grin on his face. Little pinpricks of tears started to gather in his eyes before he realized it, and his face matched the color of what soon would be his hair. The color Josh loved so much.
"Yeah. Yeah, Josh, I’d love that."
Josh watched as the color flooded Tyler's face, almost in awe. The hand that was previously dancing around in Tyler's waved slowly brought itself down to trace Tyler's jaw with a singular knuckle. Much like Tyler earlier, Josh took advantage of this moment to really fully look at Tyler, to look at this beautiful, beautiful boy who decided to add him into his life. his mouth curved downwards slightly, noticing the tears slowly building themselves up in Tyler's eyes.
"You alright?" Josh asked softly, slowly wiping his thumb along Tyler's cheek again.
It's like Josh was coaxing the tears out of Tyler's eyes with every touch to his face. He felt stupid for crying so much, for letting his emotions get the best of him every time Josh held him like this, but he didn't know how else to express it. "I'm sorry," Tyler started.
"Sorry?" Josh asked, wiping a tear from his cheek. "What could you be sorry for?"
"For being a baby. About this." Tyler tried to laugh, but it came out as a choked sob. "I just-" he paused for a second. "I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you how much I love you."
Josh felt pained at the thought of Tyler feeling the way he did about being vulnerable. He hated to see him cause more pain for himself by trying to hide it all the time; he's seen it happen before.
"Tyler, no, never apologize for something like that, okay? There's absolutely nothing wrong with showing this side of yourself. I promise you."
Tyler looked up at Josh with glazed eyes, and it broke something inside of the older.
"Besides, you have plenty of time to tell me anything you want now. I'll always be right here, okay? I always have been."
Tyler gripped Josh's shirt in his hands, burying his head in his collarbone. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that from here on out, he'd be able to tell Josh everything he'd felt for him, both over the years and right now. He'd be able to make up for their lost time in every way imaginable.
"Can I start now? Telling you things?" Tyler asked, voice wavering. He wanted to tell Josh everything he could. About that night at the Newport, the long trips in the van, hugging backstage before a show, saying "we did it"— all of it.
Josh wrapped an arm around him, wanting to do anything he could to give comfort to Tyler right now, pulling him closer to Josh's body before nodding slowly and resting his chin on top of Tylers hair.
"Of course you can, we have all the time in the world." he whispered.
Tyler breathed against Josh's chest, tracing up and down aimlessly with his finger. "Okay," he said, voice tiny.
Josh gave him all the time he needed to collect his thoughts.
"I think I fell in love with you, like, gradually. I never had an epiphany or anything cheesy like that. I didn't need to. I just knew it. like," Tyler paused, embarrassment washing over his face, "When I'd wake up and you were there, or when you quit your job for me, or when we finally made it , and you looked at me, like—" Tyler cut himself off. It was too much all at once.
Josh was sort of glad Tyler wasn't looking at him at this moment; he knew his face was burning up at record speed. He’d dreamt of Tyler saying these words for years, but never in a million would he ever guess he'd actually hear them. I think I fell in love with you kept echoing in his head, swimming circles around it like a lost fish. He was at a loss for words. What are you supposed to say when the most important person in your life confesses their romantic feelings for you? What do you say when you feel the same way?
"...Like what?" he mustered out.
Tyler felt Josh's heartbeat quicken below his ear. "I don't know how to explain it. but we were in a stadium, years ago. Thousands of people were there, Josh. But when you looked at me at the end of that set, it's like everyone disappeared. Everyone but you."
While listening to Tyler, Josh realized he didn't need it to be explained in full. He understood exactly what Tyler was talking about.
"I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt like that, that night." he said sheepishly.
Tyler widened his eyes a little in surprise as he looked up at Josh.
"You... you felt the same way?" Tyler said, craning his head up so he was making eye contact with Josh. His eyes were still watering from earlier. "When we got backstage I— I remember that being the first time I wanted to tell you. But I couldn't do it. I was too scared, Josh. I was scared of losing what we'd just done. Losing you. So I didn't. And it hurt so much."
Josh tightened his grip around Tyler's shoulders. drawing him as close as he could, protective.
"Of course I felt the same way, I still do. you're the best thing to ever happen to me, and that's cheesy, but I.. I don't know how else to explain it. especially after that show, I dunno, it was like.." Josh sighed and smiled as he looked up at the sky, remembering that night.
"It was like everything was falling into place, but everything was still out of place at the same time, almost perfectly. I knew that was what I was supposed to— where I was supposed to be.. and that was with you, Tyler.”
The floodgate broke at Josh's words. Tears flooded from Tyler's eyes, clouding his vision and dampening the shoulder of Josh's shirt. His chest heaved and his arms lifted from where they rested on Josh's chest to hold the side of his face and grip his hair. The tears were of relief and love and the things he'd suppressed for nearly a decade. 2011 mingled with 2015 and 2017 and last year and brought him to this exact moment. Tyler held on for dear life. Josh understood, and tried to stop his own tears from falling as he held the other boy.
Neither had realized just how painful it had been to keep it all in all these years. Every stare that lingered just a little too long, every compliment that was said in a slightly different tone, every request to hold hands or lay side by side on a particularly rough night was constantly pushed aside for years, neither wanting to admit out of fear of losing it all as quickly as it came. Josh was crying now too, though silent in comparison to Tyler. He wanted to be there for him, and he knew if he had made it obvious that he was also hurting (but was yet oh-so-relieved about it all) just as much as Tyler, the focus would shift and Tyler wouldn't be able to let it all go. And if he didn't let it go now, he never would.
Josh willed his voice to stay even as he whispered, "Tyler, baby, it's ok. Let it out. Let it all out." Josh's coaxing only made Tyler cry harder, drowning in his presence and taking in everything. Josh smelled like fabric softener and his favorite soap. Tyler smelled like pine and the shampoo he'd used on his hair that morning. Through his tears, Tyler kissed Josh's collarbone, his neck, his jaw, his cheek, everywhere he could reach. The pink of his face matched the sky as the sun began to set, casting beautiful hues around them both.
Josh was sure he was in heaven. He was so full of love for this boy, the one who had approached him near ten years ago and had already known his name, the one who put his all into every little thing he did in life, the one he easily quit his job for, his best friend, and who Josh was pretty positive about, his soulmate. And when Tyler had gone to kiss his cheek for what could have been the hundredth time, he brought his hand and tilted his face ever so slightly so it would land right on his lips.
It was a surprise, but Tyler welcomed it. He let Josh kiss him, and he kissed him back, and Josh rolled them over so Tyler was beneath him. Josh got up on his knees, broke the kiss, and looked down at his boy.
"I don't know exactly when I fell in love with you either, Tyler. I can't place the moment. but that doesn't matter." The truth is, Josh was anxious too, before. About losing Tyler, about rejection, about the possibilities . But Tyler's lips silenced all his qualms until they were too quiet to hear.
Josh's knees were placed on either side of Tyler's hips, and it was Tyler, hand entangled in the mess of Josh's curls, that had caused Josh to be pulled back down to meet his lips once more. Tyler's other hand was placed on the back of Josh's neck, and Josh's hands were placed into the grass on each side of Tyler's face to stabilize himself over the boy, his boy, Tyler. Though Josh could feel the grass between his fingers, Tyler could occasionally see the setting sun between kisses, and both could hear the birds singing their night-time song, they had both forgotten they were even outside at all, too focused on each other.
The kisses were slow and deep and Josh cupped the side of Tyler's face as they continued. "I love you," he whispered against Tyler's lips, between kisses. "I love you so much."
They kissed like that, until the sun finally began to disappear below the horizon and the sounds of birds transformed into crickets. It was late, and they had to get inside because the air was becoming chilly. Neither of them wanted to move.
"Josh," Tyler began after a while, lips turning upwards into a soft smile. "The mosquitos are kinda eating me alive right now."
Josh laughed a soft airy laugh, and Tyler felt it vibrate through his body.
"Maybe don’t taste so good then." He shrugged, earning a playful slap to his chest from Tyler and causing another laugh to escape his mouth. "No, but me too. we should probably actually head inside now, huh?"
Tyler nodded and Josh got up, brushing grass off his pant legs and extending an arm to help Tyler up. Tyler took it, and even when he was standing up, he wouldn't let go. Josh wove their fingers together, giving them a light squeeze when Tyler beamed at him. They were going home.