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Language:
English
Series:
Part 6 of Wild Wild West Filks
Stats:
Published:
2021-06-02
Words:
208
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
3
Hits:
104

Secret Agent Shoes

Summary:

Secret agents need the proper equipment.

Notes:

A long time ago, on an email discussion list devoted to “The Wild Wild West,” several of us got on a filking kick. The filks I post in this series were either written solely by me or with a co-author, VJ, my partner-in-lunacy (her words, not mine—though I do not dispute their accuracy).

This was a solo effort, inspired by another list member's review of the episode "The Night of the Bubbling Death." The reviewer commented that the agents didn't seem at all concerned about the acid that was splashing about in one of the action scenes, and that started the wheels turning in my head.

Work Text:

SECRET AGENT SHOES TM

(to the tune of “Secret Agent Man,” with apologies to Johnny Rivers. If you don't know the song, you can listen to it here. )

A secret agent leads a life of danger.
Take one wrong step and death will be no stranger.
With every move he makes
Another chance he takes.
Footwear helps him live to see tomorrow.

Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
You’re gonna be an agent?
Then you need these on your feet.

Depend on them for walking through the fire.
Trust them to bring you safely through the mire.
Don’t you fear a knife-made gash
Or any deadly acid splash.
Odds are you will live to see tomorrow.

Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
Protect your toes from acid
And from flames, from corns, from heat.

Runnin’ through a rocky canyon one day,
Then climbin’ up a concrete wall the next day.
Oh, you needn’t fear a slip;
Using our special patent grip
Odds are you will live to see tomorrow.

Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
To get even surer footing
Just use our distinctive cleat.

Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
Secret Aaaaaa-gent Shoes. TM
They’re Secret Service-endorsed
Because they just can’t be beat.

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