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Language:
English
Series:
Part 5 of Wild Wild West Filks
Stats:
Published:
2021-05-27
Words:
141
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
3
Hits:
101

The Night of My Vicious Valentine

Summary:

An episode retold in musical form.

Notes:

A long time ago, on an email discussion list devoted to “The Wild Wild West,” several of us got on a filking kick. The filks I post in this series were either written solely by me or with a co-author, VJ, my partner-in-lunacy (her words, not mine—though I do not dispute their accuracy).

It's pretty obvious which episode inspired this filk. Another list member suggested using the Rodgers and Hart song as a basis for a filk, and I ran with it. VJ helped out with a few spots.

Work Text:

THE NIGHT OF MY VICIOUS VALENTINE

(to the tune of “My Funny Valentine,” with apologies to Rodgers and Hart. If you don't know the song, you can listen to it here. )

Behold the way our proud villainess
Her evil doth parade.
Thou knowest not, my foul murderess
The picture thou hast made.
Thy practiced smile and thy well-dressed curls
Can’t conceal thy evil plot
To marry wealthy men to your girls
Then kill them on the spot; you’re

My Vicious Valentine,
Cruel Emma Valentine,
You grasp for money and pow’r.
Your plans—redoubtable,
Untalkaboutable,
Make widows in the bridal bow’r.

Toy with James West in between,
Run his “likes” through your machine,
Does deciph’ring what they mean
Leave you sour?

But your plans will fall apart,
E’en though it breaks your heart.
Wail, Emma Valentine, wail!
Honeymoon finds you in jail.

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