Chapter Text
Captain Kirk has created a new chat
Captain Kirk has named the chat The Senior Officers Chat
Captain Kirk: I thought I’d create this chat to give you a place to chat and get to know one another better
Commander Spock: Is this an attempt to improve comradery between the crew?
Captain Kirk: Yeah, you saw right through me
Commander Spock: I’m sure it will be an interesting experience.
Ensign Chekov: now zat spock has uncovered your brilliant plan, how much vould u say we are aloud to “fuck around” on zis chat?
Captain Kirk: Honestly, go for it
Captain Kirk: More important question though, why do you text with a russian accent?
Ensign Chekov: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Lieutenant Sulu: when it comes to him, sometimes it’s better to just not ask
Lieutenant Uhura: I think we need a new name for this chat
Lieutenant Sulu: yeah for some reason “The Senior Officers Chat” feels like it’s encroaching on someone else’s brand.
Ensign Chekov: I have an idea
Ensign Chekov has renamed the chat be gay do crime
Commander Spock: As members of Starfleet, I do not believe we can endorse this message.
Captain Kirk: Unfortunately, I think Spock has a point
Captain Kirk: We could maintain a modicum of professionalism
Lieutenant Uhura has renamed the chat space sluts
Captain Kirk: … or not
Lieutenant Sulu: idk, that doesn't feel right either
Lieutenant Sulu: still feels like someone else’s brand
Lieutenant Sulu has renamed the chat The Enterprise Fun Guy Squad
Ensign Chekov: eh good enough
Lieutenant Uhura: i like it
Commander Spock has renamed the chat The Enterprise Fun Guy Squad (Plus Spock)
Commander Spock: If this chat is to exist purely for the sake of “hijinks,” I would prefer not to be implicated.
Commander Spock: I am all too familiar with your antics.
Ensign Chekov: especially ze keptin’s
Commander Spock: We are close friends, yes.
Lieutenant Uhura: very close
Captain Kirk: I can practiacaly hear y’all giggling through the screen
Captain Kirk: you’re like middle school girls
Lieutenant Sulu: no, the captain has a point
Lieutenant Sulu: just because he and spock spent literally all of their free time together doesn’t mean anything
Lieutenant Uhura: you’re right, the excessive affection is just something bros do
Doctor McCoy: Hey, what the fuck is this, it’s 0300 hours
Captain Kirk: oh shit
Doctor McCoy: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP JIM!