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It starts with a simple, innocent mistake.
A mistake so irrelevant, so insignificant, so utterly negligible that Tenn, a fool, allowed himself to think there would be no consequences.
And yet, Tenn did not see it. Did not see the obvious warning signs; the mischief of IDOLiSH7 as they spoke of the afterparty in celebration of having finished filming the drama they starred in.
The way Riku averted his eyes when Tenn warned him to not let the others talk him into drinking.
So this is Tenn’s fault. It really is Tenn’s fault.
He checks Rabbitter and sees pictures of Ryuu with Nikaido Yamato. That is nothing Tenn is jealous of. It was his choice to not go there to avoid Riku.
He sees videos of Gaku and Izumi Mitsuki doing a really embarrassing impression of Re:vale— with Re:vale themselves cheering them on.
That, too, is fine.
Tenn is about to put his phone away and go to bed when, as if to spite him specifically, it rings.
Yotsuba Tamaki.
Tenn sighs and takes the call. “What is it, Yotsuba Tamaki?”
“Hey, Tenten, please come help us out!”
“Details?” Tenn sighs.
“It’s about Rikkun.”
Fuck. Tenn truly hates it here. He is tempted to drop the call and pretend he didn’t hear. Instead, he inhales sharply. “What’s going on?”
“Well…” Yotsuba Tamaki is interrupted by Riku’s voice in the background, whining Tenn-nii . “That’s what’s going on.”
“Explain.”
“His glass got switched with Sou-chan’s, and he’s been calling everyone who scolds him Tenn-nii. It’s really troublesome. Gakkun told me to call you.”
Fuck you, too, Gaku . Tenn bites his lip, thinking about what to reply.
Then he hears it in the background, "Tamaki’s calling Tenn-nii? Eh? Tenn-nii… There’s so many of you…"
That’s my name.
“I understand,” Tenn says, suddenly very determined. “Get him to drink something that isn’t alcohol, I’ll be here in around ten minutes.”
He doesn’t wait for a reply, instead he just drops the call.
What the hell, Riku.
Tenn is aware of his and Riku’s shared lack of tolerance for alcohol.
He is aware of it because of the time he wanted to figure out what Ryuu liked so much about alcohol, and how apparently all he was talking about after a couple sips was Riku.
So naturally, Tenn knows, but that doesn’t mean he will accept Riku calling anyone but him Tenn-nii.
He may have abandoned that name. He may not be Riku’s brother anymore. But this is still something that’s only his.
So when Tenn goes to the IDOLiSH7 dorm and he can already hear the Tenn-nii whining from behind the door, something within him stops functioning.
Gaku had once said that Riku was Tenn’s entire self-control, but that’s not true. Riku is what makes Tenn stop functioning as Kujo Tenn. Riku is what reduces Tenn to what makes him ugliest.
And maybe that’s okay, considering the disgraceful behavior of IDOLiSH7 and his fellow band members.
When the door is opened after what feels like an eternity, Tenn can’t prevent himself from glaring at the person he sees.
“Izumi Iori.”
“Kujo-san.” Izumi Iori looks like he’s been through something , but Tenn could not care less.
“Why did you not stop Riku?”
“He’s been an adult for a while now.”
“You know how he gets,” Tenn manages to say, but it’s basically a hiss.
He’s sick. He shouldn’t be drinking at any given moment.
That’s the main reason, Tenn is sure, for why he is here. The main reason.
The definitely not more important reason is that he is calling the wrong people Tenn-nii .
Tenn walks past Izumi Iori, and then he sees it.
Riku is sitting on the floor, with one hand on Ousaka Sougo’s leg. “But if you’re not Tenn-nii, where’s Tenn-nii?”
Ousaka Sougo seems overwhelmed, because he tries to escape from the situation. “Tamaki-kun told you, right? Kujo-san will be coming soon—”
“Don’t call him that! He’s Tenn-nii!”
This is the worst.
Tenn sighs. “I’ll take over from here.”
Riku blinks and turns around, and Tenn can tell that he was crying.
“Tenn-nii?”
“Yes?”
“The real thing?”
“The real thing.” Tenn grabs Riku’s hand. “Riku.”
Ousaka Sougo lets out a sigh of relief when Riku suddenly goes quiet and finally lets go of him. “Thank you, Kujo-san, and I’m very sorry for the inconvenience.”
“Am I… inconveniencing Tenn-nii?”
Tenn wants to say yes. He really wants to. It wouldn’t be wrong. But the true inconvenience is the fact that Tenn’s feelings are too strong, too powerful. Too uncontainable.
But Riku is here, his cheeks are flushed, he’s slurring his words and he’s cute and he remembered who the real Tenn-nii is, so.
“You’re not.” Tenn leads Riku by the hand, dragging him to his room. Then, in yet another lapse of judgement, he turns his head to the others. “Bring us water for Riku. And something alcoholic for me.”
Riku is whining something about how that’s not fair and he wants to drink with Tenn-nii, but Tenn shuts him down with a head pat and a gentle push in the direction of his room.
Nobody is going to stop Tenn from keeping Riku here for the rest of the evening, he knows. Gaku is busy being an idiot, so he won’t interfere. Whatever Izumi Iori tries, he has a brother who will likely interfere.
So this should be fine, but Tenn is paranoid, so he waits for their drinks at the doorstep, takes them from a cheerful Rokuya Nagi and closes the door. “Riku, your key?”
“My key?”
“To this room.”
Riku blinks. “Under the Tenn-nii picture.”
Tenn looks around. Looks at the endless merch of him, the various pictures. “Which one?”
“The one mom took.” Riku seems focused on something, but Tenn isn’t sure what, and he wonders if he has something on his face.
He finds the key under a picture of him and Riku, one Tenn has been wanting for his collection but never found.
So that’s where it went.
He takes the key and locks the door, knowing he might do something that stains his reputation.
Riku is still looking at him like that. His eyes are dilated, yet entirely unfocused.
“Riku?”
“Tenn-nii?”
“Do I have something on my face?”
Riku tilts his head, slowly. “No.”
“But?”
“Tenn-nii is beautiful.”
Tenn has been called beautiful before. Many, many times in fact. By fans, by staff, even by Ryuu. (Not by Gaku though, because Gaku is embarrassing in other ways.)
It didn’t matter then.
It matters now, because Tenn is acutely aware of the way Riku can’t seem to sit still, the way all of his attention is focused on Tenn, the way Tenn-nii is a word that belongs to Tenn again.
“Tenn-nii?”
Oh, he forgot to answer.
Tenn gently ruffles Riku’s hair. “You should drink more water.” He puts Riku’s fingers around the glass, and he contemplates whether he shouldn’t have asked for alcohol for himself.
This is going surprisingly okay.
But Tenn is a fool, because whenever he thinks that, something bad is bound to happen.
Riku drinks the water, and Tenn can’t help but to look at his throat when he swallows. Something about how desperately he drinks it feels… good.
Tenn doesn’t like where his brain is taking this at all.
“Tenn-nii?” Riku looks at him with those big, dilated eyes.
“Riku.” It comes out raspy, and Tenn clears his throat a little.
“Does Tenn-nii need some water, too?” Riku offers him his glass.
Tenn thinks of the nine ways his heart tells him that an indirect kiss with Riku is fine, and the one way his brain warns him that it is a terrible idea.
So Tenn reaches for his glass of alcohol instead, knowing he dug his own grave. The red liquid smells deceptively sweet, the alcohol is almost entirely obscured. IDOLiSH7 know what they are doing.
He sighs and takes a sip. Better .
“Tenn-nii, what does it taste like?”
“Strawberry.”
“Strawberry? I want strawberry juice, too!!” Riku pouts and puts his half-empty glass away.
It takes more willpower than it should. “No.”
“Why not?”
“You’re already drunk.”
“Is Tenn-nii mad?”
Tenn sighs. “I’m not. If I was, I wouldn’t have come.”
“But you’re making a scary face.”
Tenn could say the truth, which is that it takes his entire willpower to not get closer to Riku right now, which is a non-option given their situation. Instead, he opts for the petty answer that’s still honest.
“I guess I might be feeling dejected because you called someone else Tenn-nii.”
The dramatic wording is to hide that he actually is annoyed by that, and he doubts it works because Riku starts laughing.
“Tenn-nii is jealous?”
Don’t say something stupid, Kujo Tenn.
So Tenn says something stupid. “What if I was?”
Riku smiles and takes Tenn’s hand, taking him off-guard. He places the glass back on Riku’s bedside table. “Then I would be sorry. Tenn-nii is the only Tenn-nii for me. I just…” Riku plays with Tenn’s fingers. “I just miss you a lot.”
Tenn is starting to feel hot. His throat is slowly setting itself on fire, which he knows from experience is the alcohol, but the way his heart is pounding is new. This is bad.
“If you miss me that much, call me. I’ll indulge you if I have the time.”
He shouldn’t say this. He told Riku to not call him. But if the alternative is Riku getting drunk and calling others Tenn-nii, then he’d rather take this punishment.
Riku pulls Tenn into a clumsy embrace, and he’s warm .
A part of Tenn hopes he doesn’t let go.
“Tenn-nii?”
“Yes?”
“Can’t you stay over?”
“I have work tomorrow.”
“We’re on the same set. Just come with us.” Riku is slurring his words less now, but Tenn has the suspicion that he is just trying really hard to convince Tenn.
“I need fresh clothes,” Tenn mumbles, and Riku smiles.
“You can take mine.”
“I’ll think about it.” Tenn mostly thinks about Riku clothes smelling like, well. Riku.
Riku rests his head on Tenn’s shoulder, and the intimacy is pulling at his heartstrings.
This is the worst.
“Tenn-nii.”
“Riku?”
“I still want the strawberry juice.” The cutest, whiniest voice.
Tenn almost gives in, but he is brought to his senses by Riku pulling away from the hug.
“No,” he mutters, taking a sip himself instead.
“That’s mean!”
“You’re not a child anymore.”
“Exactly!” Riku pouts. “I know what I am doing. I’ll only call you Tenn-nii, if that’s what you worry about.”
“Can’t I just get you a glass of non-alcoholic strawberry juice…?”
“I’m not letting Tenn-nii leave.” Riku crosses his arms.
Tenn can feel the alcohol in his bloodstream around now, and that’s not a good thing, because his brain is giving him the worst ideas. “How badly do you want it?” His voice sounds breathless.
“A lot!”
Tenn takes another sip. “Well, soon it’ll all be gone anyway.”
This is a setup. Riku won’t take it. Riku, unlike Tenn, would not try to bait his brother into kissing him. So Tenn expects this to go nowhere. And yet.
“Then can I have some from you?” Riku blinks.
“Try?”
Riku gets closer, until his nose touches Tenn’s. “Tenn-nii is making me do bad things,” he says, almost scoldingly, before his lips make contact with Tenn’s.
Tenn didn’t expect his desperate, pathetic display of yearning for his brother to work.
For a bit, Tenn is just frozen on the spot. It feels like he’s somewhere else entirely, in an alternate reality where this is a plausible outcome. But maybe being drunk is exactly the alternate reality he needed.
He feels Riku’s tongue against his lips, pushing for entrance, and the part of Tenn that needs to rationalize everything explains it away by suggesting that Riku needs a better taste of the strawberry juice, which Tenn should be giving him.
Yeah. That makes sense.
Tenn allows Riku to clumsily shove his tongue down his throat, and he keeps his eyes open— he needs to witness every second of it.
At least this is what he intended to do, but Riku pushes Tenn to his bed a little, and as he moves in to continue the kiss, his knee brushes across Tenn’s crotch.
This is bad, Tenn realizes as his eyes involuntarily close, but he pulls Riku in by the collar of his shirt anyway, because sharing the taste of strawberry is very important. Or something.
“Tenn-nii tastes good,” Riku mumbles against his lips, and Tenn wishes he’d try to keep up the illusion of this not being a kiss.
“Riku, you’re drunk,” Tenn tries weakly, and it’s then that Riku just lies down on top of him, and every shift of his body makes Tenn shiver.
“I always wanted to do this, though.”
“Riku.” Tenn traces along Riku’s jaw, moving down to feel his throat.
It’s good. Touching Riku is good. How can something so utterly wrong feel so right?
Tenn’s pants are feeling uncomfortably tight now, and he hates it. But as he tries to get in another kiss, Riku stops him.
“Tenn-nii. I need to ask you something.”
“Yes?”
“Would you do me a favor?”
“Depends on what.”
“Please say yes.” Riku shifts, and Tenn bites back a noise.
Tenn is slowly losing the fight against the alcohol and the unstoppable force that is Riku. “...Yes.”
“I want Tenn-nii to marry me.”
“What.” Tenn suddenly feels very, very clear of mind, even with Riku’s bangs touching his face and Riku’s warm breath making him feel all sorts of things.
“I want to marry you. And for you to take my name.”
Oh. So this is what this is about . And here Tenn dared to think Riku returned these forbidden feelings. Of course, Tenn should have known better, but even he dares to dream sometimes.
“I can’t do that, and you know it. Besides, we’re in Japan, and—”
“We can go to North Meir! Nagi told me that works!”
This is really bad. “I think only people who love each other should—”
“Does Tenn-nii not love me?”
“I do, but—”
“Then where is the problem?”
The five stages of grief are a thing Tenn is aware of, but he didn’t know they also applied to coming to terms with possibly marrying your brother.
Right now, Tenn is at the bargaining part of it. Or was, at least, because this is starting to be depressing.
“You know you’ll never be happy like this.”
“How could I not be happy?” Riku hasn’t moved an inch away from him. “I always wanted to marry Tenn-nii.”
Tenn is getting the feeling that, terrifyingly enough, Riku might be sobering up.
“What if you find someone you love romantically?”
Riku seems hurt. For a bit, Tenn can see tears. He’s about to reach out and wipe them away when Riku kisses him once more.
This time, it’s more desperate. Tenn can feel everything. Riku’s teeth on his lips, the way Riku whispers his name in-between the kisses.
It makes his reason rot away so easily, so effortlessly.
“Tenn-nii, I love you. I want to marry you.” Riku has his knee near Tenn’s crotch again.
“Is this something you should be saying while trying to seduce me?”
Riku blushes. “When else?”
Tenn wants to laugh, but instead he reminds himself of the issue at hand. “I wouldn’t marry you solely so you can give me that name again.”
“That’s not why anymore, though!” Riku pouts. “I wanna marry Tenn-nii because I love Tenn-nii. But, I like Nanase better than Kujo.”
“I’ll… consider it. The name part.”
“And the marrying part?”
“Ask me again when we’ve retired from being idols.”
“Do you mean it?” Riku’s eyes are almost sparkling, or at least that’s what Tenn’s half-drunk mind perceives.
“I do. And now let’s…” Tenn doesn’t find the words, but Riku’s lips meet his, and that is what he wanted.
He makes a mental note to drink more later, in hopes of forgetting what happened.
A part of Tenn really wants to do unspeakable things to Riku right there. The door is locked, Gaku will likely keep IDOLiSH7 away from this room, nothing can possibly go wrong and Riku’s lips feel soft and warm and—
“Kujo-shi, it’s an emergency !” Loud knocks from the door.
Tenn groans, aware he’s not only half-hard but also unable to fix that. He shouts over at the door, “What is it? We’re busy.”
“Tsunashi-shi disappeared after throwing up in the bathroom!”
For fucks sake, Ryuu.
Tenn didn’t expect to get cockblocked by his own team, least of all Ryuu. And yet.
He sighs and looks at Riku, and Riku’s look is just as annoyed as his own. “Let’s make it quick? You’re staying over anyway, right, Tenn-nii? So after we found Tsunashi-san, we can…”
Tenn gets the hint from the obvious bedroom eyes Riku is making at him, but he somehow doubts he will have the same lapses of judgement when he is sober.
(Suddenly, Tenn doesn’t want to sober up.)
So he waits for Riku to get up, except Riku just sits down in his lap instead. “One more kiss?”
Tenn can’t resist.
After all, this is Riku, and if he’s gonna marry him one day, he might as well get used to kissing him now.
At least that’s the thought process that makes Tenn sleep better.
(For now.)