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It was great to be outside.
Well it was great to be outside in nature. It was so freeing as he stood out there, taking in the crisp, mountain air. Kinda like when you come back from a long trip and you can finally lay in your own bed.
No city lights to hide the stars, no worrying about what his neighbors are smoking, and no strangers standing way too close to him. Just him, his boyfriend, and Mother Nature.
Okay so that wasn’t entirely true either. There was something else that came with them on this trip, that Apollo wasn’t told about until it was too late.
To the shock of no one, Klavier wasn’t big on the whole camping thing. He would much prefer to be pampered at a resort somewhere, and have strangers poke at you and bring you thirty-seven dollar drinks. Camping in the middle of nowhere and catching your own food for the weekend wasn’t exactly something Klavier ever did. Nor wanted to.
And just like how they compromised by not telling Apollo how much anything was, they decided to compromise on how they were going to spend this trip.
Apollo’s idea had been to get a tent. It was cheap, but there were only two people. It worked, and it would keep the bugs and the elements off them.
But when he got to their meeting spot, Klavier was there with a huge motorhome in his trademark purple. Apollo already knew the price was bad before he got in there. He didn’t even want to know the price when he walked into it, and saw that it looked nicer than his entire apartment, with a fridge stocked with nice foods.
Needless to say, Klavier had no idea what “roughing it” meant, and if he did he was willfully ignoring it.
It was fine. All it changed was the sleeping arrangements, maybe some food, and as much as Apollo hated to admit it, it would be kinda nice to have a shower.
He still didn’t know how he felt about the tub though. That felt a little too fancy for camping.
Apollo wouldn’t exactly call it camping, but he was still happy to be out here and enjoying the fresh air. Maybe by the end of the week, he could talk Klavier into pitching the tent and do something closer to actual camping.
There were a few trails that would be nice to go down. It’s been a while since he’s been here, but they were clearly marked, so they’d be easy.
He looked back to see his boyfriend still hadn’t emerged. That probably wasn’t a great sign for how things were going to go…
He went around, and poked his head in the door, into their glamour motorhome. “Hey, you coming?”
“Ach, just a second, Schatz. I’m almost done.” Klavier called from the bathroom, the door open and him looking in the mirror.
That was something Apollo had heard before. As much as Apollo put a lot of time in his hair to make it look perfect, Klavier took that to a whole new level.
“There’s not any cameras out here. I promise you look fine,” Apollo had seen him first thing in the morning after nights he forgot to take his makeup off. No makeup or slightly messed up makeup is nothing.
Besides, they’re camping and it’s just him and Apollo. What does he even need makeup for?
“That’s where you’re wrong, Schatzi. Because I brought my phone,” he said, proving his point by holding up his phone.
Apollo rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna rebrand as some sort of tough outdoorsy man now?”
“Hardly, but I’m sure everyone will love to see me out in nature like this.”
“Wait till you actually get outside ,” Apollo snorted as he looked at the luxury that surrounded them.
Klavier pouted at him. “You said we were going to compromise, ja?”
“Babe… We both know this isn’t camping…” at least he hoped they both knew.
“Have you considered the fact that maybe you are some sort of purist when it comes to camping, and I have opened your eyes to something entirely better?”
“Have you considered that even if this is a really fancy motorhome it’s still gross because all motorhomes by definition are gross?”
Klavier scoffed. “How so?”
“You know it’s basically like bringing a port-a-potty with you wherever you go. And we’re going to be stuck with it for a week.”
“Well what other option is there?” Klavier asked rhetorically with a hand dramatically placed across his chest. Like he had just made the most ridiculous suggestion in the world. “Use the bathroom outside like some sort of animal?”
“Yeah. It’s a lot better than keeping it like some sort of nasty dragon. How is that not the grosser option?”
Klavier scoffed again, setting down his makeup. He looked nice, if not a bit silly going out for a hike in that much makeup. “I am not having this conversation with you.”
“You were the one to bring up the motorhome.” He shrugged, leaving the motorhome and waiting outside.
It was a few more minutes before Klavier joined him. He was still pouting a little, and Apollo knew that was because Klavier had no solid argument about this. Apollo had won, and that was that.
Would it change that they were sleeping in their fancy port-a-potty? No, but it was the principle of the matter.
“I would suggest we go set up camp first, but I guess that’s kinda taken care of. Unless I can talk you into setting up my tent so we could do some actual camping.”
“And get eaten by bears? I think not, ” Klavier huffed, crossing his arms. “You can complain all you want, but we both know my option is much safer.”
With how much it probably cost for him to get it, Apollo would die on that million dollar mole hill too.
“There’s no bears out here…”
He paused.
“Well I don’t know who’s at the other campsites or if we’ll even see them, but there’s no bears that’ll get you.”
It may have been years since he had been in a real fight, but Apollo would do it for Klavier. It wouldn’t go unnoticed, but Apollo might’ve been fine with that. No one would mess with his boyfriend if they knew he had a boyfriend who’d kick your ass.
“Well there’s wolves then.”
“At worst we could see a coyote or a mountain lion, but I don’t think either would bother us on the trails. Plus I’ve been dealing with mountain lions since I was a little kid. We’ll be fine.”
Klavier gave him a hard stare. “Not only do I not believe you, I don’t think you’d be able to speak for regular people this time, Liebling…”
“Like you know regular people…” Apollo rolled his eyes, looking at the motorhome worth more than he’ll ever be able to make in his life. “Besides, I’ll be there. We’ll be fine.”
The stare kept going, as his boyfriend remained unconvinced.
“People camp here all the time. Nothing dangerous is around here. If there was, there’d be signs warning us. There weren’t so it’s fine. The worst we’ll probably get is an angry squirrel or a spooked deer.”
The stare persisted.
Now is as good a time as any to bust out the puppy dog eyes. “Do you really think I’d take you somewhere dangerous?”
The stare turned into a pout. “The day comes that your shame erodes enough you look at me in court like that is the day I refuse to face you, Herr Cheater…” with a dramatic sigh, he flings himself over Apollo. He was lucky Apollo was used to theatrics like this now or else they both would’ve been in the dirt that Klavier hated. “But I concede. Should anything happen to me, you are fully responsible.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Tons of people walk this trail and I’ve never heard of any incidents.” except that one time Clay wasn’t paying attention and stepped on a hornet’s nest. But that didn’t help his case so he’ll keep his mouth shut.
“Will you at least let me take a picture? So people will know where to look if we go missing?”
Apollo wasn’t a fan of that phrasing.
“Fine, but if people come and bother us because of that, we get a redo trip.”
Klavier rolled, so he was once more facing Apollo so he could kiss him. “Danke, Mein Schatz.”