Work Text:
Sunghoon woke up in a daze.
He felt awful.
His body was sore all over, his nose stuffy causing his eyes to be in a constant state of wetness, his throat burning with every swallow he took. He felt cold, even when wrapped up in his favorite fluffy blanket, meaning he most likely had a fever. Great. He just had to get sick when they had a long practice day ahead of them to get them prepped for their 'Fever' promotions.
Ironic isn't it?
With a soft sigh, he forced himself out of bed, fighting back the groan that threatened to leave his lips at the headache that ran through his head when he stood. Glancing around, he realized that everyone else was still asleep. Actually, Jay was probably awake making breakfast. He glanced over at the other's bunk to confirm, not surprised to see it empty even though he had woken up earlier than usual due to the pure discomfort he was feeling. Taking a deep breath, he decided to go find Jay, wanting to be around someone else.
It was his first time falling ill since he moved out of home and into the dorm. Usually, he'd be in his mother's bed with her feeding him chicken soup and caring for him. He's never had to deal with himself when he was sick and thinking about it made him feel very lonely and very homesick. He missed his mother a lot. Maybe it was the fever he had but his emotions felt oddly heightened and it made him uncomfortable. He felt like he could break down at any minute and the thought of that did not sit right with him. Sunghoon was never someone who wore his heart on his sleeve; he didn't really open up to anyone. Apart from Jake, there wasn't really anyone else who he talked to freely about his thoughts and feelings. But even with how close they were, he couldn't ask Jake to take care of him today. They were all going through a lot to prepare for their next batch of promotions and he didn't want to add to anyone's stress.
Waddling down the hall in his pajamas and fuzzy blanket, he could faintly smell the aroma of something salty being cooked through his blocked nose even though it hindered him from identifying what exactly Jay was cooking. Quietly he stuck his head inside the kitchen, a slight smile making its way onto his lips when he saw Jay busying himself with something on the stove, too engrossed in it to notice his presence. The other was always doing something in the kitchen and Sunghoon was a huge fan of his cooking. Sunghoon was a huge fan in general.
A small secret that he's never told anyone, including Jake, Sunghoon may potentially have the littlest of crushes on mister Park Jongseong.
Ok, maybe little was a lie, he had a massive crush on him. But how could he not? Jay was one of the most captivating men he's ever met. His eyes were dark and charismatic, alluring in nature, but they softened into the gentlest of expressions whenever he was talking to the members, his cheekbones were high and strong, his nose angular and tall, his jaw sharp, not to mention his stunning, well-built figure that contrary to Sunghoon who was more slender, had wider shoulders and stronger muscles. Paired with the visuals that the other was completely entranced with was the sweetest personality he's ever gotten to know. Jay was a man who truly cared for others. He never hesitated to aid anyone who needed it, always providing the members with a safe space, making sure everyone around him was okay before caring for himself. He was sweet, gentle, kindhearted, selfless, generous…
Sunghoon could talk about him for hours.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he trudged into the kitchen, shivering when his bare feet touched the cold tiles. "Morning Jongseong-ah," he spoke softly, wincing at how raspy and clearly exhausted his voice sounded.
Jay stiffened as he turned to look at Sunghoon, most likely sensing the other was not okay. "Jesus Christ Hoon, you look like you've been through war," he spoke, his voice strained with worry.
Turning off the stove, he wiped down his hands before stepping in front of the other, his hand lightly touching his forehead. Sunghoon felt his ears that were already burning from the fever heat up further, thankful that he was already flushed so Jay couldn't tell he was flustered at the proximity. He watched as Jay's eyes widened in alarm, looking at him quizzically. "That bad?" he questioned, sniffling slightly as he brought a hand up to rub his watery eyes.
Jay nodded right away and pressed his cooler hand flat against Sunghoon's warm forehead, the other leaning into his touch, a soft sigh of relief leaving his lips at the nice contrast. Having Jay worry about him felt nice. It was so nice that he almost impulsively wanted to ask if Jay could look after him for today. But Park Sunghoon was never one to make impulsive decisions so he shook the thought away, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes as he spoke, "I'll be fine Jay, it's just a cold so don't worry too much."
Jay's concerned frown only deepened at Sunghoon's words as he shook his head. It wasn't just a cold. The other was burning up. Sunghoon looked horrible. His face was sickly pale and gaunt, his eyes and nose stained red from the constant rubbing, he was shivering and curling in on himself from the perpetual cold his fever brought. Even then, Jay couldn't help but think about how pretty Sunghoon still looked, resembling a baby penguin as he waddled around all tired.
"Hoon-ah it's not just a cold, you have a fever and that's serious. Sit, I'll bring you some food and medicine," he spoke, his tone leaving no room for protest as he dropped his hand from Sunghoon's forehead, gesturing towards their dining table.
Normal Sunghoon would have protested, hating the idea of being babied or being taken care of by anyone. But sick Sunghoon craved the attention, he wanted to have someone dote on him even if just for a few minutes. He let himself slump into one of the chairs, sniffling once again as he watched Jay finish off the breakfast he was making. He was thankful for the other. Even if it was just his nature, he was glad he cared for him as much as he did. It meant a lot to him at that moment. He leaned back in his chair, resting his head against the wooden back as he let his eyes slide shut to avoid worsening his headache by looking at the lights. He was tired, he was so so tired. He wanted to stay home but he knew he had to be at practice. Their promotions started next week, he couldn't slack off now.
Jay glanced over at Sunghoon, his heart constricting painfully in his chest at the sight of the other whose brows were furrowed in discomfort as he waited for his breakfast. He didn’t like seeing any of the members in pain, however, seeing Sunghoon ill hurt him significantly more than he ever thought it would. The other was never one to show vulnerability but his eyes shone with pain when they met Jay's and it broke his heart. Deep down he wanted to take the day off work and stay home with Sunghoon to look after him and make sure he recovered well. With a soft sigh, he rid himself of these thoughts knowing his friend was probably not interested in being babied, he was never one to want that kind of thing.
He swiftly carried a plate of food over to Sunghoon, his free hand moving to lightly pat the other's shoulder. "Eat up Hoon-ah, I'll go look for medicine," he spoke, watching his friend open his eyes with a soft sound of discomfort.
Although Jay was being very considerate with the noise levels, everything was so loud to Sunghoon, his ears ringing as he looked at the plate of food. He instantly felt queasy at the thought of eating.
"I don't think I can eat, Jay," he spoke, looking up at the others with a shake of his head. Jay felt his heart shatter into little bits in his chest when he met Sunghoon's eyes. The other's expression was pleading, sad, and hurt. He hated seeing Sunghoon like this.
"Try to take at least one bite, okay? You just need something so you can take some meds, you'll feel better afterward," Jay murmured, his hand moving to Sunghoon's hair, lightly stroking the other's soft brown locks to hopefully soothe him even a little.
Sunghoon shut his eyes at the feeling of Jay's fingers in his hair, part of his pain dissipating at the gentle touch and the caring words. He was grateful for Jay's patience with him, even though he felt like a burden on the other.
Squashing the negative thoughts away, he nodded at Jay's words and looked back down at the food, ripping off a piece of toast, popping it into his mouth without focusing too much on it. He swallowed it with much difficulty, taking a deep breath to prevent it from coming back up. "Good job Hoon," Jay said softly, affectionately ruffling his hair before adding, "Hang here for a moment, I'll go grab some meds."
Sunghoon nodded and slumped back in his seat with a sigh, Jay frowning a little as he made his way to the medicine cabinet they had in their shared bedroom. He was very concerned about Sunghoon. He'd never seen him so weak and tired in all the years they've spent training together. He figured that the other was never one to get sick but when he did, it clearly hit him hard. He glanced at the clock above the medicine cabinet as he closed it, holding the medicine in one hand. It was still 5 am so he could leave the rest of the members asleep for another half hour. Good. He had another half hour to care for Sunghoon and make sure he was okay before they had to go to practice. He headed back to the kitchen to find Sunghoon nibbling on some toast, looking even worse for wear.
"I got your meds," he announced as he walked in, setting them down in front of Sunghoon before pouring the other a glass of water, setting it in front of him as well as he sat beside him. Sunghoon shot the other a grateful look, taking a sip of water to soothe his aching throat before gulping down the pills he was given, leaning over to rest his head against Jay's shoulder. He didn't want to go to work today. He didn't think he'd survive the day if he did.
"What time is it?" Sunghoon murmured quietly, his eyes fluttering shut when he felt Jay rest his cheek against the top of his head, the action so small that normal Sunghoon would consider it insignificant, but to sick Sunghoon it was comforting.
"It's around 5, I was gonna wake everyone up later," Jay murmured, his hand moving up to check on Sunghoon's fever again, frowning at the feeling of warmth radiating from the other's forehead. "I don't think you should go to work today."
Sunghoon immediately sat up at those words, shaking his head in panic. He regretted that immediately, the action sending sharp pain to his temples, making him groan slightly. He couldn't miss practice, he couldn't disappoint their fans with a mediocre performance. Jay winced slightly at the pain that flashed through Sunghoon's eyes, his hand that was on his forehead, adjusting itself to lightly massage his temples instead. "Sunghoon, you'll hurt yourself even more if you practice in such a state. Please, missing one day isn't gonna reset weeks of hard work, okay?" he spoke, his tone gentle but reassuring.
Sunghoon knew the other had a point. He knew his body was currently at its limit and pushing himself any further will lead to injury. But he was still scared. He didn't want to disappoint engenes. He didn't want to disappoint his members. More importantly, he didn't want to disappoint Jay. "Is that even allowed? Especially with promotions so soon, am I even allowed to stay home?" he asked, lightly nudging Jay's hand away so he could dry his watery eyes with the edge of his blanket.
Before Jay could answer a cheerful, "Morning Hyungs," was heard from the doorframe. Jay looked over Sunghoon's shoulder at Sunoo who waddled into the kitchen, his blond hair messy as he made his way over to the pair, his signature sweet smile on his lips.
"Good morning Sunoo~ keep your voice down, Hoon is sick," Jay told him, the younger covering his mouth as he moved to crouch in between Jay and Sunghoon, his hands gently cupping Sunghoon's flushed yet sickly pale cheeks. "Oh my gosh Sunghoonie Hyung, you need to stay home and rest," he cooed, a pout on his lips.
Sunghoon and Sunoo's dynamic was an interesting one. The two bickered with each other every moment they were together but it was obvious they cherished each other a lot. Sunghoon was always protective of Sunoo and the younger was always his number one hype man. They were definitely close, not as close as Jake and Sunghoon were, but Sunoo was most definitely Sunghoon's favorite dongsaeng.
"I'll be fine Sunny," Sunghoon reassured the younger with a weak smile, the touch of his younger best friend, making his heart all fuzzy and warm. Having two people care for him and dote on him felt amazing. He wished one of them would stay back with him today so he wouldn't have to be alone but that was selfish of him to ask. It was bad enough having one of them miss work, he couldn't make anyone else do so too.
"My poor Hoonie Hyung," Sunoo sighed dramatically, standing back up as he let his hands fall from the other's face. He glanced over at the plate of breakfast, his eyes immediately sparkling which made Sunghoon chuckle.
"You can have my breakfast if you want, I'm not very hungry right now," he told Sunoo, scooting back in his seat before tugging him down into his lap, burying his face in the younger's shoulder for his warmth.
Sunoo, not affected by his Hyungs antics, simply picked up his fork and started to eat as he hummed, "If you get me sick I'm gonna murder you~"
Sunghoon shook his head slightly as he huffed, "Just eat, brat."
Jay chuckled fondly as he watched the duo interact, eventually having to look away when he felt a familiar bitterness cloud his head.
Seeing Sunghoon's arms around Sunoo's waist, his face buried in his neck irritated him. He didn't like that the two were touching so openly, even though he loved their friendship and he loved watching the two happy. Something in him wanted to be the one holding Sunghoon instead. He wanted to be the one with the other in his lap, Sunghoon's head in his neck instead.
It wasn't uncommon for Jay to feel this way whenever Sunghoon was touchy with any of the members. Although he refused to admit it, Jay wasn't oblivious to his own feelings. He liked Sunghoon a lot. He knew the exact day, his friendly affections for Sunghoon turned into love. It was the day the I-Land producers took him Sunghoon and Heeseung to an ice rink. When Sunghoon's feet hit the ice that day, he was instantly taken over by euphoria, the most carefree smile Jay had ever seen gracing his beautiful features. Seeing the pure joy and excitement on Sunghoon's face was more than enough for him to fall hard.
"Jay Hyung, are you gonna stay home with Hoonie Hyung today?" Sunoo asked, breaking the eldest of the three out of his thoughts, looking over at him with inquisitive eyes, his cheeks adorably round like a hamster filling his mouth with food.
Jay affectionately patted Sunoo's round cheek and glanced over at Sunghoon, surprised to find the other looking at him with wide hopeful eyes. It stunned him. Sunghoon was never one to yearn for another's presence so he was very surprised to meet his eyes, finding them begging for him to say yes.
A newfound smugness took over his mind as he registered what the other wanted. Sunghoon wanted him around. Sunghoon wanted his company. He felt satisfied with himself, feeling like an absolute winner. He looked back up to Sunoo, meeting his eyes after having made up his mind.
"Yes. I'll stay with Sunghoonie," Jay responded firmly, a sweet smile creeping onto his lips at the pure relief that washed over Sunghoon's expression, the other burying his face in Sunoo's shoulder to hide his flushing cheeks. Sunghoon hadn't expected the other to want to stay. He didn't think his friend cared this much for his well-being and it truly meant a lot to him.
Sunoo nodded in approval, reaching up to lightly pat Sunghoon's head as he hummed, "That's probably a good idea~ if you didn't stay I would've honestly."
"Who says I want you around?" Sunghoon grumbled into the other’s shoulder, his voice tired but teasing. He chuckled to himself at the offended gasp he heard from Sunoo, the other lightly smacking his forearm as he whined, "You love me hyuuung I'm your favorite and you know it."
"Mmm nah Jay's my favorite," Sunghoon answered with a tired but content sigh, keeping his face low to avoid seeing Jay's reaction. He wasn't lying when he said these words. He adored Sunoo to death but Jay had a special place in his heart.
Jay couldn't help but flush when he heard his name, looking down at his lap. He'd never felt so shy in his entire life, and it was over something so small that was just a part of the pair's banter. Yet, his heart felt fuzzy in his chest at the thought that he might theoretically be special to Sunghoon.
"Mmm I don't blame you, Jay Hyung makes the best food," Sunoo nodded, scraping the last of his breakfast into his mouth before patting his tummy in satisfaction. "Thank you for breakfast, I'll go wake up everyone else." He got off of Sunghoon's lap and gave him a proper hug and kiss on the top of his head. "Rest well Hyung, and take care of yourself okay?"
Sunghoon smiled softly and gave Sunoo a gentle squeeze, feeling significantly lighter at his dongsaeng's adorable actions. "I will Sunny, thank you," he murmured, waving at the other as he heads out, focusing his attention back on Jay. His smile morphed into a confused one as he scanned Jay's face, puzzled by the red on the other’s cheeks, his posture closed off and shy. He had no idea what could make the other react in such a way but he shrugged it off, opening his mouth to speak again.
However, a sharp pain shot up to his temples once again, a disgruntled whine leaving his lips which snapped Jay out of his trance. He pushed himself out of his seat and immediately crouched in front of Sunghoon, patting his thighs gently.
"You should go get some sleep, Hoonie, the medicine will kick in eventually," he murmured, bringing a hand up to cup Sunghoon's cheek, soothingly running his thumb over his cheekbones to remind him that he was here with him.
Sunghoon took a deep breath and nodded, leaning into Jay's touch. The other's gentle touches and kind caring words were very grounding and he felt himself slowly regain emotional stability knowing Jay was here for him. Jay stood and dropped his hands from the other's face, holding one out for Sunghoon to hold. "C'mon, let's get you in bed," he told him with a gentle smile.
Sunghoon tentatively slipped his hand into Jay's, unable to control the redness creeping up to his cheeks. He'd never held hands with anyone but Sunoo. However, with the younger it always felt casual, knowing Sunoo was just touchy and it meant nothing important to him. With Jay, it felt intimate, the warmth of the other's palm in his own colder hand, the way Jay held his hand so tenderly as if it were the most precious thing he's ever held. He didn't think he could fall any harder for Jay until this moment.
Jay led Sunghoon back to their bedroom, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. Holding hands with the one person who meant the most to him was a whole experience. Truly, he never wanted to let go. Sunghoon's fingers were long and slender, but his hand was smaller than Jay's, his own completely enveloping it. He knocked on their room door and peeked inside to find Heeseung up, the other three still lounging around sleepily in their bunks.
Heeseung glanced over at Jay, shooting him a quick good morning before asking, "How's Sunghoon?"
Sunghoon peaked over Jay's shoulder as they walked in, waving weakly at the eldest. "Sunghoon's okay, he just needs rest," Jay spoke up for him, smiling a little when Sunghoon squeezed his hand as a thank you. He knew his friend didn't particularly feel like speaking and as his caretaker for the day, he felt responsible for making sure he was comfortable.
Heeseung made a face of understanding, gently patting Sunghoon's shoulder as the duo walked past him saying, "Rest well Hoon-ah, we'll update you on everything that happens today."
"Thanks, Hyung," Sunghoon murmured with a grateful smile. Hearing all of his members, chime in with 'get well soon's and 'rest well's meant the world to him. All the loneliness and sadness he felt when he had first woke up, had completely dissipated. The members were his new family now and he loved them all so very much.
Sunghoon let himself flop into Jay's bunk, too tired to climb into the top bunk he called his own. He buried his face in Jay's pillow, immediately melting into the other's sheets, curling up on himself with a soft sigh.
It felt creepy to admit but surrounding himself with Jay's scent made him feel significantly safer, causing his drowsiness to hit him like a truck. Almost completely out of it, he barely felt Jay unwrap the blanket he had cocooned himself in earlier, tucking him under his duvet instead.
"Sleep well, Hoon-ah," Jay murmured, a fond smile taking over his lips when he noticed the already fast asleep.
"You like him don't you?"
Jay froze at the curious voice behind him, coming face to face with an excited Jake. He couldn't help but flush in embarrassment, his hand moving up to rub the back of his neck. "I- uh-" he started, shaking his head slightly before nodding, "Yeah. I like him a lot."
Jake clapped his hands quietly, a bright grin creeping onto his lips. "I'm rooting for you two. You should confess, bro, I feel like Sunghoon would reciprocate the feelings," he responded, moving to cover his mouth as he yawned.
Although Sunghoon had never outright told Jake that he had feelings for Jay, the other was his best friend. At the end of the day, he could read Sunghoon better than anyone else. He recognized the look of pure awe and love in his eyes every time Jay walked into the room. He noticed Sunghoon fidgeting and the pink flush that took over his cheeks whenever Jay looked over at him. It was very obvious to Jake that he liked him but he wanted his best friend to tell him himself so he never said anything.
"How could you be so sure?" Jay chuckled and shook his head, glancing down at Sunghoon who was sleeping peacefully, the purest of expressions on his beautiful features.
"Just cause," Jake shrugged teasingly and waved at Jay as he walked out of the room, quickly adding, "Update me if you do say anything~"
Jay couldn't help but shake his head, taking a deep breath as he mulled over the Australian's words. Confessing was never and would never be a part of his plans in the future. He couldn't bear the thought of destroying his friendship with Sunghoon over something like unrequited love. He was satisfied with what they had now so he'd never want to risk ruining their relationship. But what if Sunghoon accepted his feelings? What if he could have more of the other? What if he could finally freely love and care for the beautiful man he cherished so much? It wasn't an easy decision to make. In Jay's mind, a lot was at stake here. If things went south, working together with Sunghoon will not be as smooth of an experience. They'd hinder the rest of their bandmates’ careers and their tension could affect everyone's overall chemistry. Jay didn't want to see that happen. At the end of the day, their biggest dream was to debut and become successful musicians, he didn't want his confession to be the reason their career halted before it even started.
With a soft sigh, he waited until the apartment fell silent, indicating that the boys had left for work. He looked around at the room, wincing a little at the state of the boys' beds. They've always been a bit of a messy bunch, depending on Jay to do the cleaning since he always offered to do it. He didn't mind doing the housework, if anything he enjoyed it, it gave him a sense of normalcy and a routine to stick to every day. Of course, the boys helped when they could but Jay usually did most of the chores around the dorm.
Cracking his knuckles, he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and got to work.
<~>
Sunghoon stirred awake to the feeling of a cool damp cloth being laid down on his forehead, sleepily peeling his eyes open to find Jay sitting on the floor by the bed, his hand retracting away from his face. The other was now wearing a black t-shirt instead of his long sleeve from earlier, his contacts replaced with his round glasses that Sunghoon adored so much, a book in his lap as he dried off his hands from touching the rag.
Jay's eyes visibly lit up when he looked up and noticed the other was conscious, a soft smile making its way onto his lips as he spoke, "Morning Hoon-ah, how do you feel?"
Sunghoon's heart was going to combust. Jay had stayed by his side, taking care of him even when he was asleep. He could've sat next to him in bed or even on Jake's bunk that was opposite his, yet he sacrificed his own comfort for Sunghoon's sake.
"I feel a lot better, thank you, Jay," he said softly, turning onto his side so he could face Jay properly, hesitantly holding out a hand for the other to hold.
Jay took the hint, immediately lacing their fingers as he shut his book, setting it aside to give Sunghoon his undivided attention. The other's fever had finally died down, his skin slowly regaining a healthy glow once again. The other still had a clearly very stuffy nose and a sore throat but Jay was glad to see him getting better. Sunghoon looked down at their interlocked fingers, running his thumb lightly over Jay's. The warmth of Jay's hands was a nice contrast to his which were always cold. The pair were like fire and ice in more ways than one. Jay was more of an extrovert, someone who was more outspoken and loud, like a roaring fire, Sunghoon was an introvert, someone who was a listener and enjoyed quiet and solitude, like quiet ice. Yet when they linked, it wasn't destructive. Jay's flame didn't eat away at Sunghoon's ice and his iciness didn't dim the other's light. They managed to co-exist and without any toxicity.
A quiet growl interrupted the silence, Sunghoon quickly flushing in embarrassment as he broke eye contact with Jay. The other chuckled fondly, giving Sunghoon's hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll go get you something to eat," he hummed, making a move to stand but Sunghoon stopped him, keeping a firm grip on the other's hand.
"I'll come with you," he spoke, slowly sitting up in bed, "I don't wanna lay around all day."
"You should though~ you're allowed to have a lazy day today," Jay spoke with an amused smile, gently helping Sunghoon up into a stand, affectionately patting his cheek.
Sunghoon scrunched his nose at the other's touch, shaking his head at his words. "Lazy days aren't for me, you know that," he responded, bringing a hand up to lightly rub his eyes.
"I know, but I do want to see you rest properly one day," Jay snorted and shook his head, tugging Sunghoon out of the shared room to the kitchen.
Sunghoon chuckled quietly and followed his friend along, shrugging to himself before answering, "I do rest! I just prefer being more active. Just an ex-athlete thing."
"Mhm, well I hope eating well is also an ex-athlete thing because that's number one on today's agenda," Jay spoke, letting go of Sunghoon's hand so the other could take a seat. He went to pick up the plate he had saved for him, setting in front of Sunghoon along with the necessary cutlery. "Would you like some tea?" he offered, turning to fill the kettle up with water.
"Yes please, thank you, Jay," Sunghoon hummed from behind him, a grateful smile on his face.
He couldn't express just how thankful he felt to have Park Jongseong in his life. Not everyone would put so much effort into caring for another, but Jay was different. The way Jay looked at Sunghoon as if he was the most important person in the world, his touches gentle and comforting, his words kind and caring. Sunghoon had to use all his energy to prevent himself from impulsively confessing his love for him right then and there.
He watched Jay as he returned and sat opposite Sunghoon, setting down two mugs of hot tea. He thanked the other with a soft smile, taking another bite of the delicious breakfast Jay had made earlier. The two sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each others' presence as Sunghoon got some food in his belly, the other sipping his tea. It felt natural to be alone with Jay in this way. It almost felt a little… domestic.
"What do you wanna do today, Sunghoonie?" Jay asked once Sunghoon had eaten, picking up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink to wash as the other was left to think for a moment.
Cuddle, he almost responded.
Sunghoon looked down at his tea, feeling his cheeks flush at the intrusive thoughts of being in Jay's arms, curled up in his embrace. The idea of it sounded like heaven to sick Sunghoon. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle with someone and that someone being his crush would be the best moment of his life. But he couldn't ask that of Jay regardless of how close they are. At the end of the day, he didn't want the other to catch whatever he had.
"Uh watch a movie maybe?" He suggested, taking a sip of his warm drink, loving the way it soothed his achy throat.
Jay dried his hands and picked up his tea with a nod in approval. "Sure, c'mon," he spoke and rounded the table to Sunghoon, holding a hand out for him once again.
Somehow throughout their interactions today, it had become instinct for the two of them to constantly look for each others' hands.
It became a normal part of their friendship.
Sunghoon simply slipped his hand into the other's without thinking much of it, already feeling safer at the gentle warm touch he had grown accustomed to. That fueled his want to be in Jay's arms but he forced himself to resist the urge. He let Jay lead him to the living room, staying close to the other's side as they approached the couch, sitting right next to Jay so they were side to side.
If it wasn't already obvious, sick Sunghoon was definitely the clingier version of himself. But Jay liked it. He liked having this proximity with the man who meant the world to him, especially since they never got any opportunity to be this close, so he was taking advantage of this today.
"What do you wanna watch?" Jay asked as he set their mugs down on the coffee table, picking up the TV remote before settling back against the cushions, his other hand still holding Sunghoon's in a gentle grip.
"Mmm something cheesy, I don't think I can handle anything emotionally heavy today," Sunghoon spoke with a slight shrug.
"You can never handle anything emotionally heavy."
"Shut up."
Jay laughed at the helpless retort Sunghoon made, shaking his head playfully as he settled on a random rom-com. It was true; Sunghoon was never good with emotional movies, always being the first to burst into tears and hide away behind Jake or Sunoo. Jay always wished he could be the one to comfort Sunghoon in those moments but life didn’t always work like that.
The two finally settled down, both watching whatever was happening on the TV, occasionally making small comments about little things they noticed. About halfway through the movie, Sunghoon let his head rest on Jay's shoulder, bringing his knees up to his chest as he snuggled into Jay's side in an attempt to warm himself up. It wasn't necessarily cold in the room but Sunghoon still felt weak from his fever from earlier so he felt a slight chill every now and then.
Without really thinking about his actions, Jay let go of Sunghoon's hand, his arm moving up and around the other's shoulders, his palm now gently rubbing his bicep. "Are you cold Hoon-ah?" he asked softly, his eyes trained on the TV. He knew that if he dared to look at the man he was hugging his face would redden and he did not want to get caught.
Sunghoon however made no attempt to hide how flustered he got, his cheeks flooded with warmth as he stared up at Jay's side profile. The new position felt foreign but he loved it. Feeling Jay's side flush against his torso as he rested his head against his shoulder, his hands lightly gripping at the other's t-shirt.
He shook his head slightly in response and murmured, "I'm okay, this feels warm."
"Good."
As time went on, the two became significantly more relaxed, the initial shock of Jay's boldness having finally passed. By the time the credits rolled, Sunghoon's arms were around Jay's waist, his knees rested against Jay's thigh while Jay had one hand wrapped protectively around his shoulders, the other hand resting on one of the other's hands, his cheek resting on a bed of fluffy brown hair. If Sunghoon wasn't feeling impulsive before, he definitely was now.
"Can we cuddle? Like properly?" He asked boldly as Jay scrolled through movie lists.
The other froze, swallowing sharply at the sudden request. It wasn't like he'd never cuddled with the members before, Jungwon and Heeseung were basically following a rotational schedule on who gets to cuddle with Jay every night. But cuddling with Sunghoon was different. The two have hugged many times, held hands a bunch today, and were holding each other at that moment. But properly cuddling was new to them and just the mere thought of it made Jay's heart hammer wildly in his chest.
"If that's what you want Hoonie," Jay finally nodded, turning to properly meet Sunghoon's eyes with a reassuring smile.
The other's eyes immediately sparkled with happiness, a toothy grin taking over his lips to reveal his adorable fang-like canines. "Thank you Jay!" he chimed happily, Jay's heart feeling like it was going to burst at the sight of Sunghoon's gorgeous smile.
Worth it.
Jay took the initiative to lay down flat on his back, tugging Sunghoon on top of him with the other that was once around him. Sunghoon squeaked slightly at the sudden change of position, his cheeks heating up as he nestled his head in the crook of Jay's neck, hands resting on his chest. Jay wrapped his arms around Sunghoon's torso, sliding one leg between the other's, tangling their limbs together.
Sunghoon felt like he was dreaming. Jay's sturdy arms were warm and protective, his hands gently rubbing up and down his back. He felt like he was going to melt. Being in Jay's embrace like this... It was the safest he's ever felt.
His heart was hammering wildly in his chest. Never in a million years did he think Jay would give in to his random request. He wondered if the other was as nervous as he was but he doubted something like this would make Jay lose his composure.
Sunghoon was so very wrong.
Jay's face was equally as red as his own, his heart beating at an unnatural pace. He was incredibly nervous yet something about the way Sunghoon was clinging to him calmed his nerves and made him feel at ease. If he didn't want to admit that he liked Sunghoon before, now there was no denying that he was completely smitten with him.
He turned on another random romcom before letting himself get comfortable, one of his hands moving up to lightly toy with Sunghoon's soft brown hair, a satisfied smile making its way onto his lips when the other let out a content sigh. He loved every minute of this and he had no intention to let Sunghoon move for at least the next two hours.
Sunghoon, although very comfortable, was getting somewhat restless. Not physically but rather internally. He wanted more from Jay. It was selfish of him to feel this way but he was reaching a point of desperation. He just wanted to tell Jay how much he liked him, he wanted to kiss Jay and give him all the love he deserved.
Jay, as if sensing Sunghoon's internal struggle, gently patted Sunghoon's head before asking, "Are you alright Hoonie? You seem tense."
Jay has noticed when the other's posture suddenly locked up, his muscles tense under his touch. He didn't know what triggered that reaction but he just hoped it wasn't more headaches or any other sort of pain.
Sunghoon bit down on his bottom lip, feeling extremely irrational and impulsive. Emotionally, he'd been feeling weird all day and it really did terrify him, but for some reason, confessing to Jay didn't scare him as much as it did on any other day. He just really wanted to get it off his chest.
Sunghoon huffed quietly and pushed himself up into a sitting position, moving to straddle Jay's waist, his hands cupping the other's cheeks.
He nearly lost it and kissed Jay when he noticed his stunned expression. The other was staring up at him, lips parted in shock at the sudden change in Sunghoon's demeanor, eyes wide but sparkling with curiosity, his cheeks flushed in confusion and probably shyness at the newer, intimate position. Sunghoon couldn't believe just how beautiful the other was. Jay was always handsome, but this expression was different. It was pretty, it softened Jay's features. He looked ethereal.
"What are you-"
Sunghoon smacked his hand over Jay's lips, successfully shutting him up. "Just listen to me. Don't say anything, just listen."
Jay, although confused, nodding, nudging Sunghoon's hand with his nose as a sign that he didn't need it there and he'd stay quiet, yet Sunghoon didn't budge, ignoring the action as he opened his mouth to speak again.
"We've been friends for a long time, we've trained together, we walked into I-Land as a pair, we debuted together, we've done a lot together," Sunghoon started, his other hand trembling slightly as he brought it up to push his hair out of his eyes, swallowing to keep himself from feeling nervous. "I've gotten to know you well over the years. Obvious things like how loud and talkative you are, how you enjoy cooking and cleaning because you get gratification from seeing everyone satisfied and comfortable, how caring you are and how you love to listen to others and give them your full attention."
Sunghoon paused. "But also little things, you purse your lips a lot when you're focused, your eyes always sparkle and get a little wider whenever you see something exciting, the way you hype yourself up whenever you're feeling hopeless at practice and energize yourself, oh and now that we've held hands a few times, you do this thing where you run your thumb over mine and it is honestly so cute."
Sunghoon was clearly rambling, not focused on the effect his words had on Jay. The other man's blush had deepened significantly at the praise, his face burning under Sunghoon's touch. He had no idea where the other was going with this but he didn't want to interrupt.
"I admired you a lot Jongseong-ah, I loved you as a friend, as a brother. I really cherished- I still do obviously but yeah I really cherished you a lot and your friendship means everything to me and truly I don't want to ever lose you. But honestly, I'm kind of sick of just being your friend, I'm done with the friendship," Sunghoon spoke, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them to meet Jay's, not missing the flash of fear and hurt the other failed to hide.
But Sunghoon wasn't done with what he wanted to say just yet. "Don't assume anything, dummy, I'm not done yet!!" he whined, pouting a little. He didn't like that he had hurt Jay in the process but he was about to make it up to him- well that's if it went well.
Jay couldn't help but chuckle at the other's adorable expression, feeling at ease already. He was concerned that Sunghoon was about to push him away, but knowing the other had more to say, he wasn't as worried anymore. He gave Sunghoon a gentle nod, signaling for him to keep talking.
"Okay, well, okay- um- this is very selfish of me honestly but I've had these thoughts for months honestly, this isn't new and I've been so scared to ever say or do anything about them. I can't tell you when my viewpoint on you has changed because I don't even know myself but I don't regret it one bit. I just remember looking at you one day and thinking, 'Wah this man feels different.’ I was suddenly having all these thoughts like oh I wonder how it would feel to hold Jay's hand, I'd feel so much better if Jay gave me a forehead kiss right now, ah I wish I could cuddle with Jay, I miss Jay, things like that. And today, finally holding your hand, cuddling with you, I know you're putting up with it because I'm sick and you want me to be comfortable but it made me realize that I don't wanna go back to the way we were before."
Sunghoon flushed shyly and finally let his hand drop from Jay's mouth, both of his hands searching for the other's, immediately finding comfort once their fingers were laced together. "I like you a lot Jongseongie. I've liked you for a very long time and I don't want to be just friends. It's fine if you don't return the feelings, I'm okay with being just friends in that case, but I really wanted to get it off my chest."
Jay blinked up at Sunghoon, taking a moment to register what he was just told.
Sunghoon liked him, Sunghoon had feelings for him, Sunghoon had confessed to him.
A rush of confidence bloomed in his chest and in one swift moment he flipped the two of them over so he was hovering over the other, holding both of his wrists together above his head, his other hand supporting his weight so he didn't crush Sunghoon underneath. The other was staring up at him with an expression of pure shock, flustered by the sudden show of Jay's strength. He whined a little at being 'handcuffed' by Jay, but he was unable to deny that the other was extremely hot to him at that moment.
"You know it's unfair that you got to say it first," Jay spoke, a playful smirk on his lips when he saw Sunghoon flush even further, even the tips of his ears burning in red. "I like you too, Park Sunghoon. I've liked you for a very long time as well."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Sunghoon gasped after a moment, wiggling his wrists a little in an attempt to be freed but it didn't work. Jay had always been a bit stronger than other members and it was another factor that attracted Sunghoon a lot.
"Why didn't you ever say, huh?" Jay laughed and shook his head, the other simply rolling his eyes playfully although the smile on his lips betrayed how he was really feeling. The two were giddy, wrapped in their own shared bubble of just pure bliss, unable to believe that they were both just two dumb idiots in love.
Jay let his eyes drop from Sunghoon's, zeroing in on his lips. Sunghoon's breath hitched in his throat at the intensity of his newfound lover's gaze, biting on his bottom lip before whispering, "Seongie, I don't wanna get you sick, we shouldn't."
He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss Jay. He had been dying to kiss him all day today but he didn't want Jay to catch whatever he had and feel whatever pain he was feeling.
"I'll be fine Hoonie, trust me, I've been waiting for too damn long," Jay murmured and leaned down to press his forehead against Sunghoon's, glad to feel the other was a normal temperature. It took every ounce of self-control in him to not lose control and make out with Sunghoon when he saw him sink his teeth into his lip. He wanted to be the one doing that to him.
Sunghoon hesitated for a moment before nodding. He could never resist Jay no matter the circumstances. The other wasted no time, letting go of his lover's hands to cup his jaw before pressing his lips against Sunghoon's, the two instantly melting into a sweet, loving kiss. Sunghoon buried his hands in Jay's jet-black hair, involuntarily making a content sound.
He was officially addicted to Park Jongseong. He never wanted to let go.
He whined slightly as the other pulled away to catch his breath, chasing after his lips, wanting another kiss. Jay chuckled fondly at how adorable Sunghoon was, pecking his lips quickly one more time as he shook his head. "That's enough for now, baby," he cooed, his thumb running over the other's red swollen bottom lip.
"Unfair," Sunghoon pouted, feeling a little breathless as he dropped his hands from Jay's hair, wrapping his arms around his neck instead.
"Well I'd rather we not get carried away here of all places," Jay grinned and laid down beside Sunghoon, sandwiching the other between himself and the cushions of their couch. He slipped his arms around Sunghoon's slender waist, the other wasting no time to snuggle into his warm embrace, his head resting against his chest.
"Your heart is racing, Seongie," Sunghoon commented, his fingers lightly tracing little hearts on Jay's chest, right over where his heart would be. The other's heart seemed to quicken under his touch, the cause of the change being the adorable nickname he was given.
"It's always like that when I'm with you," Jay admitted shyly, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to the top of Sunghoon's head, his hands giving his waist a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
Sunghoon felt his own heart melt in his chest. Jay was truly the best man he's ever met. He didn't know who he had saved in his past life to have had the chance in this life to be with the one and only Park Jongseong.
Truly he was the luckiest human alive.
"Stop being so cute before I combust," Sunghoon mumbled, looking up to press a few soft kisses to the other's jaw, nudging it affectionately.
Jay flushed at the kisses, lightly rubbing the small of Sunghoon's back as he responded with, "How do you think I feel? I don't think you know just how adorable you get when you're all clingy like this."
"Shut up."
Jay laughed and left another kiss on Sunghoon's hair, glancing down at the watch on his wrist before raising his brow. It was around 1 pm. He didn't realize how much time had already passed. Suddenly, their dorm room opened, the familiar voices of their members filling the hall along with crinkles of plastic bags. Jay frowned in confusion. They weren't supposed to be back yet. Today was one of their longest practice schedules starting from 7 in the morning till 10 pm.
"Oh are they watching TV?" he heard Heeseung ask, followed by the pitter-patter of footsteps nearing the room.
Truthfully, Jay didn't care if they found him and Sunghoon in this position. He wasn't ashamed of Sunghoon and he was more than happy to show him off as his partner and shower him with love regardless of the circumstances. He glanced down at Sunghoon to see if he was okay, smiling when he found the other relaxed, still clinging to his shirt.
The chatter suddenly stopped, causing Jay to look over his shoulder, unable to stop the laugh that left his lips at the stupefied expressions on everyone's faces, Jake being the only one with an excited grin.
"No way, man! You actually did it!" Jake cheered, moving to playfully smack Jay's shoulder, the other rolling his eyes, simply cuddling his lover closer.
"Actually Sunghoonie told me first," he corrected the middle 02z member, lightly running his fingers through Sunghoon's brown hair. "But all of you need to quiet down, Hoonie is still sick after all."
Jake chuckled and nodded, shooing the rest of the members to the kitchen as he spoke up, "Well, either way, we were allowed to come home for lunch and we bought food since you did a lot of work today. Come join us when you can."
Jay thanked the other and waited for the boys to leave to the kitchen, glancing down at the beautiful man in his arms. He brought a hand up to tilt his chin up, leaving a sweet kiss on Sunghoon's lips. "Let's go have something to eat, baby," he cooed, sitting up with the other in his arms, waiting for him to nod before helping him up, arms still wrapped around his waist. He didn't want to let go of Sunghoon but he did have to. With a reluctant sigh, he unraveled his arms from around his lover, taking his hand instead to tug him into the kitchen.
"Waaah, the lovebirds have arrived," Sunoo teased as the two walked inside, Sunghoon immediately shooting him a halfhearted glare to which Sunoo stuck his tongue out in return.
Jay took the seat between Heeseung and Sunoo, tugging Sunghoon into his lap, his arms going around his waist once again.
"Since when did you two like each other?" Ni-ki asked curiously, passing two plates and chopsticks which Jay laid for himself and his lover, shifting him to one side so he could comfortably make a plate for Sunghoon.
"I don't know about Jay but I've liked him since our trainee days," Sunghoon responded, smiling a little when he felt Jay's hand that was on his hip give it a gentle squeeze.
"That's so cuuute, honestly you were kinda obvious Hoonie Hyung," Sunoo spoke from beside him, Sunghoon shooting him an incredulous look. "I was?"
Jake nodded and shoved a piece of tteokbokki into his mouth before saying, "Yeah, you never told me that you liked him but every time he even breathed at you, you'd get all blushy and fidgety."
Sunghoon flushed at being called out, turning in Jay's lap to hide his face in his neck. Jay chuckled and kissed Sunghoon's forehead, quietly whispering, "It's okay, baby~ it's cute~"
"Of course you'd say that you're biased," Sunghoon retorted and shook his head, pressing a kiss to Jay's jaw once again.
"Maybe you shouldn't have encouraged them to confess, Jake Hyung," Jungwon groaned dramatically, covering his eyes as if to shield himself from the sight of the lovey-dovey couple.
"Says the one pining over Hee-" Sunoo started but his words were muffled by Jungwon who had shoved food in his Hyung's mouth to shut him up. He looked around, his cheeks on fire, completely avoiding Heeseung's gaze who was watching him inquisitively.
Sunghoon laughed fondly and looked up at Jay, pecking his lips sweetly when he found him looking at him. Things had turned out well for the duo, everyone around them was happy, and he was slowly recovering from his cold.
Sunghoon was the happiest he's ever been in a long time.