Chapter Text
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve asked for you.”
'The maid said he wanted to speak to us about expectations.'
“We need to talk about the expectations I have for you as members of the Ootori family.”
'My brothers already have everything perfect. The lectures are always just for me.'
Yoshio Ootori adjusted his glasses and scanned over his three sons. His gaze trained on Kyouya for an uncomfortable three seconds.
“As you know,” he continued, “you have a certain dignity to uphold as members of the Ootori family. Everything we do is in the public eye. Thus, any mistakes and slip-ups will not be tolerated. Is that understood?”
“Yes, father,” the elder Ootori sons replied. Silence settled as Yoshio awaited Kyouya’s answer.
“Kyouya,” Yoshio leaned forward, “am I understood?”
Kyouya met his father’s glare. “What do you qualify as a mistake, father?”
The room shrank as Kyouya’s brothers turned their gaze away.
Yoshio shifted in his chair, his eyes hidden by the glare on his glasses. “I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out on your own, Kyouya. It doesn’t need explaining.”
“I’m only asking for clarification,” Kyouya retorted. "We all could benefit from some clarity.”
There was a short pause. Yoshio’s fingers popped as they clenched into a fist. Kyouya’s brothers sank back into the sofa. After another uncomfortable moment of silence, Yoshio spoke again.
“You are forbidden to take part in any activity that will disgrace the Ootori Group,” he said to Kyouya. "This includes committing a crime, angering partners of the company, and creating scandals. Is that clear?”
“Yes father,” the boys answered.
Yoshio sighed and stood from his chair, his fist still clenched at his side. “Good. You are dismissed.”
The boys nodded and stood, walking towards the stairs.
“Kyouya.”
The youngest boy came to a halt. His brothers kept walking away, never looking back.
“Come here,” Yoshio ordered.
Kyouya obeyed.
The maid didn’t flinch at the echoed slap from down the hall.
“Never disrespect me in front of your brothers again. Do you understand?”
Kyouya nodded.
Yoshio left Kyouya alone to retrieve his broken glasses from the floor.
“Kyouya! Kyouya, you there? Earth to Kyouya!”
Tamaki’s obnoxious voice echoed through the music room and pulled Kyouya out of his thoughts.
“What is it, Tamaki?” He asked, rubbing his temples.
Tamaki grinned and leaned on the back of Kyouya’s chair. “You were gazing off into space again,” he said, his violet eyes sparkling with curiosity. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. I mean, a whole lot. What are you thinking about?” He walked around to lean against the table, giving Kyouya his best puppy-dog eyes. “Is it a special surprise you’re planning? Or maybe,” he leaned dangerously close to Kyouya, “you’re in love! Is Mommy finally in love?!”
“Don’t be stupid!” Kyouya shoved Tamaki off of the table, causing him to face-plant. “I was just thinking, something you are unfamiliar with, Daddy.”
That was enough to send Tamaki into his sulking corner, muttering, “Mommy’s so mean,” over and over again.
‘He’s such a child,’ Kyouya thought.
“Are you guys done with…whatever this is?” Haruhi—first-year scholarship student and host-club ‘dog’—groaned. Her gaze caught sight of the disheveled Tamaki in the corner of the music room. “What’s wrong with Tamaki-senpai?” She asked, afraid of the answer.
“Don’t mind him,” Kyouya sighed as he sat down at the head of a long dining table. “We have club business to take care of, with or without Tamaki’s participation.”
Haruhi nodded and sat at the table next to Kyouya. The rest of the members made their way into the club room and sat down. Eventually, Tamaki got a grip on himself and sat across from Haruhi, a dark cloud still hanging over his head.
“So, what’s this meeting about anyway?” Hikaru asked.
“I thought we’ve already planned out next week’s activities,” Kaoru continued.
“We did have events planned for this week,” Kyouya explained. “But thanks to the little fight between you two, we’ve had a major setback in the club’s profits.” From his book bag, Kyouya pulled out a long receipt that made everyone at the table—save for Mori—gape in shock. “We’ve had to spend a percentage of our earnings paying for property damage. And we weren’t able to make most of it back thanks to customers losing interest after the trouble you three caused.”
“What?” The Twins questioned. “You three?”
“I told you already, Senpai, that wasn’t my fault!” Haruhi snapped. “It was just a throw-away comment!”
“Be that as it may, you made the comment that sparked the fight. You are therefore partially responsible for this decline in revenue,” Kyouya said, stone-cold stoic as usual. “I’ve already added a cut of the payment to your debt, so that’s another ¥20,000.”
Haruhi growled and sank into her chair.
Honey hugged Usa-chan against his chest. “What does this mean for the club, Kyou-chan?” He asked.
Kyouya stuffed the receipt back into his bag. “It means that we have to cut out some of the club activities for the week,” he sighed. “And we will have to push back our group trip to the beach until further notice.”
“What?!” Tamaki cried. “But we’ve been saving for that trip for months! Now how is Haruhi ever going to get to see the lovely sand and surf and the sun set upon the ocean?! She’ll be so deprived, all because of a harmless comment she made!”
Haruhi sank further down.
“That ‘harmless comment’,” Kyouya sneered, “cost us most of the trip’s money, as well as money for the week’s snacks.”
A horrifying silence passed before Honey erupted in a fit of tears.
“No, not the snacks! Anything but that!!” He cried as Mori tried to calm him down. “Isn’t there anything we can do, Kyou-chan?!”
“Unfortunately, no,” Kyouya said. “The picture books and online bids are our only source of income at the moment. Unless we can get more customers, this is the only way to keep the club from going bankrupt.”
A collective sigh of disappointment fell over the club members. The host club finances had never been so low. For the first time, the boys felt what it was like to be poor.
The very thought of it made them cringe.
“Well,” Tamaki sighed, “I suppose we’ll have to live this…poor lifestyle until our profits get back on track.”
“Not necessarily.”
The others turned to look at Kaoru.
“One thing that boosted profits last time we were having money trouble was the addition of Haruhi,” he said. “Our customer quota went up and it added more variety to the group.”
“Wait,” Haruhi said, “are you suggesting that we bring in another host?”
“Why stop at one?” Hikaru piped in. “We could add two or three new hosts. The more the merrier, right?” The Twins looked at each other and nodded, satisfied with themselves.
Tamaki’s bright smile returned. “That’s a brilliant idea!” He exclaimed. “I could personally train new young men to perfect their archetypes, use proper manners and etiquette, and they would all address me as their King! I will lead them to the pinnacle of perfection and make everyone happier! Long live the Host King!”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kyouya said. “Adding more hosts into the mix would throw off the system. We would have too many Hosts of the same type, and the girls would get bored. Besides, training them would take up time that we don’t have.”
Tamaki frowned and gave Kyouya his pleading eyes again.
“My mind is made up, Tamaki,” the Shadow King said, “There is nothing to be gained from adding more Hosts to the mix.”
“Au contraire!”
From out of the floor, a spinning circular platform rose above the Host Club. Atop the pedestal, dressed in a bright-pink Victorian dress with a matching parasol, was Renge Houshakuji.
“The Hitachiin brothers are on to something,” Renge said. “A new group of hosts is just what we need to spice things up around here! We have to start appealing to a larger number of Ouran’s population. I’ve been watching the club activities since I’ve been here, and I’ve noticed something you hardly pay attention to: the wallflowers!”
The Hosts stared blankly at her.
“The girls at this school who stand idly by and watch the club activities, obviously! And there is one thing they have in common in their eyes: envy! Sad, seething, heart-wrenching envy!”
“Are you going to start making sense any time soon?” The Hitachiins said.
“If you would let me finish!!” Renge growled. “Anyway, the wallflowers are all staring, not at the Hosts. They're staring at the other girls that have the boy’s attention and not theirs! If we want to boost club profit, there is one thing the club needs! We need lesbians!!”
Confetti sprinkled down from the ceiling onto the Hosts staring blankly up at Renge. The fluttering of paper was the only sound that filled the room for a long while.
“Interesting notion,” Kyouya said, breaking the silence. “I suppose we have been ignoring our homosexual market at Ouran. If we expand our hosts to women for women, we would bring in a unique mass of students.”
“Not just that,” Honey said, “but we could bring in boys just for the boys too! And the popular people could host both boys and girls!”
Mori nodded in agreement.
“That is true.” Tamaki sighed and leaned against the closest pillar. “But having a lady as a host would be so demeaning. A woman shouldn't put her heart out there for men only to have no intention of giving it away! The female heart is a sacred vessel, only meant for their one true love!”
“Okay, now you’re just being stupid,” Haruhi said, knocking Tamaki off his high-horse. “If boys can do that to the girls who come as customers, why can’t girls do it?”
With tears in his eyes, Tamaki tried to pull Haruhi into a hug. “I’m sorry, Haruhi, but you know that Daddy’s only trying to do what’s best for y-“
“Besides,” she interrupted, shoving Tamaki away, “Kyouya-senpai’s right. It will bring more money and customers to the club.”
‘Anything to take the weight off my debt,’ she thought.
“It really isn’t a bad idea at all,” Hikaru said.
“I suppose it would be interesting to be hosts to men,” Kaoru added.
“Yeah!” Honey cheered. “And we get to keep the sweets now!”
Mori smiled up at Honey with a hum.
Tamaki knew there was no swaying them now. “Okay, fine!” He groaned. “We can have female hosts, but I will personally hand-pick every single one of them!”
“Absolutely not,” Kyouya sighed. “We’ll hold an audition for the new Hosts, and all of us will be on the panel.”
“But Mommy-” Tamaki pouted.
“I don’t want to hear it.” Kyouya frowned and pushed Tamaki back against his pillar. “I’ll send out an email to the students of Ouran and have flyers put up. Tomorrow’s club activities will be canceled in lieu of host auditions. Agreed?”
The club nodded in agreement.
“Good. Now let’s get home. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”