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The backyard of the Grant-Nash house smells of barbecue and smoke, the murmur of laughter and conversation filling the air. After the hellacious year and a half they’ve all had, sitting on the back patio having a beer with some of the most important people in his life feels like a well-earned reward. Or maybe a little bit like a slice of heaven. As Eddie’s eyes travel around the group, he realizes just how lucky they truly are to still be here. They’ve all had their scrapes this year, been banged up and bruised by the world, but they’ve all survived, some even stronger for the struggle.
So tonight they’re celebrating. It’s not a birthday or an anniversary or a holiday. No one’s finally making it back to work or finished rehabbing an injury; they’ve all been back together at work for a few months now. There is no good news to share, at least not that any one has decided to spring out yet. No, tonight they are simply celebrating life on a random Tuesday night in June just because they can. And it feels amazing, raising a glass to their family and the future.
A shriek of delight draws Eddie’s attention to where Buck sits with Jee-Yun on his lap, the baby squirming wildly as Chris tickles her bare toes. It makes his son throw his head back in laughter as the baby squeals again and again. Despite the wiggling, she’s safe, Buck’s large hands wrapped securely around her. It’s quite a sight to behold, the three of them giggling together, a sight Eddie never tires of.
“Think a baby is in your future soon?”
Eddie glances over to find Maddie trying to look oh so casual as she watches her brother and her daughter. She can’t hide the warm glow about her though, it bursts forth every time she looks at her child. Love and pride and hope just beaming out. He’s sure there’s a similar look on his face as he watches Chris.
When he just quirks an eyebrow at her in question, she smiles knowingly.
“Chris isn’t begging you for a sibling yet?”
“Not yet,” Eddie pulls focus away from Maddie to see the giggle-fest has died down now, Buck handing Jee off to Karen as Chris follows Harry and Denny into the house. “Though he does already have Buck so…”
Maddie’s giggle turns into a snort, her hand flying up to her face in embarrassment. It’s such a Buck move that it makes Eddie grin. Judging by the light flush to her cheeks, the easy laugh, and the snort that just slipped out, Eddie figures she’s had two, maybe three glasses of wine and they are just starting to hit her. A wine-tipsy Buckley is something he, and Chim, are quite familiar with. They almost have it down to a science by now.
One glass just perks them up, pinking up their cheeks a little. Two glasses makes Buck laugh a little louder, Maddie a little freer; it’s also where the snorts start to slip out when they laugh too hard. Three glasses is where they differ, Maddie gets louder and bolder while Buck sinks inwards.
Four glasses is probably where Buck is at now, Eddie figures, judging by the way he’s standing next to Bobby at the grill talking away. Random facts fly free at four glasses. So do his hands, fluttering about as he talks. Buck never could be still, Eddie muses, watching as he bounces lightly on the balls of his feet, clearly excited about whatever conversation he and Bobby are having. The wine in his glass threatens to slosh out as he gestures wildly again, thankfully it wasn’t full when he meandered over.
“He seems good.” Athena’s voice pulls Eddie’s gaze away from the grill and down to the woman who’d snuck up on him. The smirk on her face tells him that was indeed her plan.
“He is,” Eddie confirms. “Chris is too. Having Buck around has been good for him.”
“And for you?”
Trust Athena to pull no punches. Eddie glances back over to Buck, their eyes catching for the briefest moment. But even that instant is enough to fill Eddie’s chest with a swell of love so big it feels like his heart might actually push right out of his chest. Buck grins at him, wide and innocent and so endearing that Eddie can’t help but return it.
“Yeah, for me too.”
He’s not sure how he would have made it through the last eighteen months without Buck by his side, first as a friend, his partner, then as his … well partner. The pandemic was hard enough to slog through with quarantines and masks and the ever present worry, but then as things started to turn back around, Eddie had been shot. And Buck had been there, through all of it; through the shooting, the hospital stay, the recovery and rehab, through Eddie’s worst days and his struggle with therapy and his first days back at work when the anxiety hit at random times. Buck had been rock steady for him and Chris when their world was flipped upside-down. And somewhere along the way, they found what they’d been looking for in each other.
If a year ago, after taking another bullet, you’d told Eddie that he’d be this happy and in love, he never would have believed it.
“We’re all good.” Eddie can say it and actually mean it.
He glances back to Athena to see her smiling softly at him. She looks like a proud mama as she pats his arm.
“Someone better stop refilling that boy’s glass or you’ll never get him home,” she adds before slipping away.
Sure enough, someone has topped off Buck’s wine glass once again. Five glasses in and Buck gets clingy, as evidence of him draping himself over Hen’s shoulders as he talks to her and Chim. Buck and his ridiculously long limbs turn koala-like when he’s had this much wine, wrapping around whoever is nearest and holding on tight. Usually Eddie is the recipient of said affection, but tonight it’s kind of amusing to watch Hen struggle to keep up with a conversation and hold her own glass of wine with Buck hanging around her shoulders, hugging her close. When Buck frees up an arm to pull Chim into the mix, they both take advantage and slip Buck’s grasp. For a moment, Buck stands there looking a little confused, until he glances around and his eyes settle on Eddie.
When their eyes lock, Eddie feels like everyone else vanishes. There are a couple billion people in the world, but right now it’s like just the two of them exist in this backyard under the canopy of twinkling lights. Eddie moves towards Buck, drawn like a magnet towards his true north.
“Hey,” Buck whispers, bashful smile slowly stretching across his face. Between the bonfire and the string lights, his eyes are shimmering. The wine has kissed his cheeks with a soft flush up to the tips of his ears.
“Hey you.”
Buck’s arms slide around him and pulling him close, hands settling in the small of his back. And just like always, Eddie wraps one arm around Buck’s waist, the other drifting up Buck’s shoulder until his fingers are brushing the back of his neck. It’s soft and intimate, wrapping them both in a cocoon as Buck tips forward until their foreheads rest against one another.
“I missed you all night,” Buck murmurs quietly. He dips forward to press their lips together, easy and chaste; a kiss they’ve shared a hundred times before and will do thousands of times more.
When he pulls back, Eddie can see the shimmer in Buck’s eyes has gone from firelight and wine to love and tenderness. Maybe he miscalculated the number of glasses Buck’s had?
“I’ve been here all night.”
“I know. You’re always here whenever I need you,” Buck rolls his head a little against Eddie’s, like he’s trying to piece together his floating thoughts. “You know me better than anyone and I just …”
“Just what?”
“I love you.”
It’s not the first time those words have slipped from Buck’s lips. Ever the giver of affection, Buck’s expressed it many times, but this is the first time Eddie can see it in his eyes. It’s the first time Eddie can feel it, like those words have sunk into his skin and carved themselves deep into his bones, like it’s pulsing through his veins with every beat of his heart. No hang-ups, no worries, no insecurities, just pure, unadulterated love.
Three words and all Eddie can think about is building a family together, of matching gold bands on ring fingers, of holding a weathered old hand in his, of saying forever and meaning it.
“I love you too, Buck.”
Yeah, he definitely miscalculated the wine Buck drank tonight judging by the way his eyes fill with tears at the simple statement. He grins so wide, arms squeezing Eddie just a little tighter. Buck only gets this sentimental when he’s six glasses in. By seven, he’ll be passed out. Time to get a move on then.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”