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Buck takes a deep breath as he stares at the pregnancy test in his hands, showing he’s positive.
He’s pregnant.
This is not what Buck wanted. At least, not right now. Not when things are so complicated in his life.
Yet, here he is. Pregnant, and alone. Things were going perfectly before Buck filed that stupid lawsuit, which he of course regrets now, but he can’t take it back no matter how much he wants to. All Buck really wanted was to get his job back, his family back. Now, he’s got his job back, but he lost his family in the process.
Eddie left him, refusing to let him see Christopher.
“Fuck!” Buck yells as tears form in his eyes, throwing the pregnancy test in the sink.
The first thing Buck does after he finds out he’s pregnant, is he goes straight to the doctor in the morning. He needs to know how this pregnancy will affect his job. How much trouble he’s going to be in.
“I’m a firefighter,” Buck tells his doctor, first thing, fiddling with his hands as he sits on the bed.
The doctor sighs as he stares at Buck. “Evan, you will have to be on light duty while you’re working,”
Buck groans, because this is the last thing he needed to hear. “I can’t be on light duty-“
“That is an order from your doctor, and I suggest you talk to your captain as soon as you can. Fire is not safe for the baby, and I’m sure being a firefighter is a stressful job,” Dr. Calebs says.
“You don’t understand. I’m going to lose my job if I go on light duty. I just filed a fucking- I-” Buck sighs, trying to remain calm. “Look, I sued my department after my captain refused to let me go back to work. If I tell him that I need to go on light duty after everything, he’s going to be even more pissed than he is with me.”
“I’m sorry Evan, but unless you plan on getting rid of the baby, then there’s nothing else I can tell you,”
“How- How long do I have to decide if I- if I don’t want the baby?” Buck asks nervously.
“You’re a month pregnant right now, so you have about another month. It will be incredibly hard to find a doctor who will help you with an abortion after twelve weeks,” Dr. Calebs explains.
“Okay,” Buck takes a deep breath, nodding. “I’ll talk to my captain, and make a decision depending on how well that conversation goes. Even though I know how it’s going to go. Um, can you at least write me a doctor's note in case my captain needs proof?”
“I can do that for you, yes,” Dr. Calebs says, pulling out a slip note to write Buck a note. “You need to watch yourself while you’re pregnant, Evan. You’re a male, so that makes your pregnancy high risk for you and for the baby. We don’t deal with a lot of male pregnancies, so it’s still very new.”
“Careful. Got it,” Buck mumbles, shaking his head. He doesn’t know how he’s going to pull this one off, as someone who is constantly reckless on the job. The team will definitely get suspicious if he’s “careful”, and Buck isn’t comfortable telling the team that he’s pregnant, they’ll figure out that Eddie’s the father.
Buck dreads walking into work the next day. He’s surprised when he’s first greeted by Hen.
“You called off yesterday. Is everything okay?” Hen asks.
“Um,” Buck begins. “Y- Yeah. I’m fine. I just wasn’t feeling good at all yesterday, so I called off-” He looks over as Eddie walks past them, and he ignores the scoff Eddie makes as he passes by. “Yeah, I’m fine, Hen. Nothing to worry about. Uh, where’s Bobby?”
“Kitchen,” Hen replies, pointing upstairs, worry still on her face, but Buck ignores it.
Buck sighs as he looks up, and makes his way upstairs to the kitchen, where he finds Bobby at the stove. He hesitates, before walking over to him. “Uh, Bobby?”
Bobby glances over. “What do you want, Buckley?”
Buck doesn’t even react to the coldness in Bobby’s voice. He’s used to it by now, ever since the lawsuit, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt “Do you have a minute to talk? It’s… kind of important,”
Bobby sighs. “Chim! Can you take over this?” He asks, glancing back at Chimney.
“Sure Cap,” Chimney says, jumping up and walking over to the stove. He looks over at Buck, but he doesn’t say anything. Buck hardly looks at him, before he turns and follows Bobby into his office.
“Make it quick,” Bobby says as he walks over to his chair.
“I- I have to be on light duty,” Buck says, preparing himself for the worst.
Bobby instantly looks up at Buck. “You’re asking to be on light duty after everything you’ve put us through when I tried to put you on light duty?” He asks, anger in his voice.
“It’s not what I want, trust me, but I have no other choice. Something came up and-”
“Excuses,” Bobby snaps, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Bobby, I promise I’m not making excuses. I’m-” Buck stops as soon as the alarm starts going off. He sighs, and closes his eyes, because of course there’s an emergency when he’s trying to talk to Bobby.
“You know what? I don’t have time for this. Light duty is what you want? Then light duty is what you’ll get. You won’t be going on any emergency calls from here on out,” Bobby says, walking past Buck and walking out of the office without saying another word.
Buck takes a deep breath, trying not to let himself get emotional. He glances around, and then he walks over to Bobby’s desk and grabs a pen. Until Buck figures out what he truly wants, he’s not going to be dealing with the treatment he gets at the 118. He’ll find another job, even if it’s not what he wants.
Buck leaves a note on Bobby’s desk.
Thanks for everything, but I’m getting out of your hair now. I quit.
- Buck x
Buck makes his way down the stairs and to his locker. He grabs his duffle bag and throws everything from his locker into his bag. Buck doesn’t really let himself think about what’s happening as he makes his way out of the firehouse, because he’ll only talk himself out of quitting the most important job he’s ever had.
For the next week, Buck doesn’t look at his phone, ignoring all messages and phone calls he gets. He’s sure the others have figured out by now that he’s quit, and he’s not coming back.
Buck hates sitting around, so he goes to Maddie.
“Where the hell have you been?” Maddie asks when she opens the door and sees Buck.
“Home?” Buck asks, blinking a few times, before stepping inside. “Nice to see you too, sis.”
“No, you don’t get to do that. Chimney said you quit like a week ago. What the hell, Evan? I- I just thought you loved being a firefighter,” Maddie says, shutting the door.
“I do love being a firefighter, I never stopped loving the job, but ever since the lawsuit… things have been... different, and then something came up and I have to be on light duty again. I can’t take it anymore, Mads. The way I’m being treated,” Buck says, letting out a sigh.
“Something came up?” Maddie asks, leading the way into the living room. “What’s going on, Evan?”
Buck takes a deep breath as he stares at Maddie. “I’m pregnant,”
“What?” Maddie gasps. “Evan-”
“Before you ask, it’s Eddie’s, but please don’t say anything. We aren’t… on speaking terms,” Buck says.
“You and Eddie aren’t speaking? But Evan, you two are… God, you never told me it was this bad. If Chimney has been treating you like this, you better tell me now, or else-”
“No. He hasn’t. I mean, he follows Bobby’s lead when he’s around, but it’s-”
“There’s no buts. You should have told me they were doing this,” Maddie snaps. She takes a deep breath. “You’re pregnant? That’s why you quit?”
“I knew it would be stressful, with me being on light duty. I know being on light duty is supposed to help, and it probably would have helped, but not with the way things have been with the 118,” Buck says, scoffing. “But, it’s only been a week, and I’m already going crazy.
“So, what are you going to do?” Maddie asks.
“Well, I was hoping that maybe you could help me get a job as a dispatcher,” Buck says, surprising Maddie. “At least then I’ll still be helping people, but it’ll still be light duty.”
“Okay,” Maddie says. “I’ll talk to Sue about it when I go into work tomorrow. You’re taking care of yourself?”
“I’ve been at home, Mads,” Buck reminds her.
“That’s not when I meant and you know it,” Maddie says. “Are you taking care of yourself?”
Buck sighs, before nodding. “Yes mom. I’m taking care of myself,” he says.
“Shut up. I’m allowed to be worried and protective, especially after learning everything I just learned. Oh, and I will be speaking to Chimney about this. No arguments,” Maddie warns, before softening. “Evan, how are you really doing? I mean, you’re pregnant, and you quit your job. I mean, Eddie…?”
“No, Mads. I’m not telling him,” Buck says, taking a deep breath. “He’s made it clear to me that he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I get it. I screwed up. I just wish that he’d give me a chance to talk.” He looks down at his hands, unable to stop the tears from forming in his eyes.
“Oh Evan,” Maddie whispers softly, before gently pulling her baby brother into a warm hug, allowing him to cry on her shoulder, because she knows he most likely hasn’t allowed himself to get emotional.
When Chimney gets home from a twenty four hour shift, it’s after eight at night. He’s surprised when he sees Maddie sitting on the chair folding clothes while Buck is sleeping on the couch. “Maddie?”
“You are in trouble,” Maddie says as she continues folding clothes.
“When did Buck-?”
Maddie scoffs, finally standing up and looking up at Chimney. “Buck has told me something interesting,”
“Okay?” Chimney says with confusion.
“Kitchen,” Maddie hisses, not wanting to wake Buck up. She walks to the kitchen, Chimney following her. “First, how was work?” She turns to look at Chimney.
“It was fine. Nothing terrible happened. Maddie, what’s going on?” Chimney asks. He winces slightly when Maddie whacks him on the shoulder harshly. “Ow! What was that for?”
“You've treated my brother wrongfully, and you will apologize to him for it! He’s felt unwelcomed at the job that he’s loved for too long, and it’s stopping. Look, I don’t care what’s going on with that stupid lawsuit. Evan did what he thought was best, and he tried making up for his mistakes,” Maddie snaps.
Chimney lets out a sigh as he stares at Maddie. “Okay, you’re totally right, Mads. I haven’t fully agreed with the way Bobby’s been treating him at work, but I thought if I followed his lead- I don’t know. It’s complicated. I just never thought Buck would actually quit the job,” he says. “I’ll apologize. I promise.”
“Buck didn’t quit because of that. It’s not my place to tell. But trust me, he has a lot going on right now, and with Eddie not talking to him, he could really use some friends right now. Hen?” Maddie asks.
“She’s on Buck’s side. It’s just awkward with Bobby,” Chimney tells her.
“I’ll talk to her then. I’ve got some words for Eddie,” Maddie scoffs, running a hand through her hair.
“Maddie?”
Maddie looks over when she hears Buck calling for her. She glances at Chimney, before quickly hurrying into the living room, seeing Buck just waking up, and he’s obviously tired. “Evan? Hey, is everything okay?” She bends down to look at him, gently running a hand through his hair. “Do you need anything?”
Buck goes to say something, but he stops when he sees Chimney walk into the living room. He quickly pushes himself up. “I didn’t know- I should go,” he says, going to stand, but Maddie stops him.
“Hey, you don’t have to go. It’s fine,”
Chimney nods. “I don’t mind that you’re here, Buck. You’re more than welcome to stay,”
“No, no. I- I don’t want to get in the way-” Buck mumbles, standing up. He rubs his eyes tiredly, and then he looks around for his phone, and grabs it from the table. “Thanks, Maddie. For everything.”
Maddie also stands up, and looks over at Chimney with pleading eyes.
Buck goes to walk out of the living room, but Chimney quickly stops him. “Buck, slow down, okay? Look, you’re not getting in the way. I just got home, and I’m probably going to sleep anyway. It was a long shift. Besides, you’re more than welcome here anytime you want. I mean it.”
Buck stares at Chimney, before shrugging his hand off. “I have to go. I’ve- I’ve got things to do,”
“Evan,”
Buck stops, and turns to look over at Maddie. “Yeah?”
“You’ll call me if you need anything, right? You know I’m here for you,” Maddie says.
Buck slowly nods. “I know. Thanks,” he says, before turning and walking out of the apartment.
Maddie immediately crosses her arms against her chest as she looks over at Chimney, unhappy.
“Okay, this looks bad-” Chimney begins, before sighing in defeat. “I’ll fix it. I promise.”
“You better fix it Howard, or else,” Maddie warns angrily, pointing a finger at him.
“Or else?” Chimney questions nervously.
“I don’t think you want to find out. You’re lucky you’re a firefighter and I know you’ve had a long day, otherwise you’d be sleeping on the couch,” Maddie huffs, before walking away.
Chimney groans as Maddie walks away, and pulls his phone out to call Hen, needing advice from her.
“What, Chim?” Hen asks when she answers her phone.
“We’re in- okay, I’m in trouble,” Chimney says.
****
Maddie can’t say she has any regrets when she walks into the firehouse the next morning, dead set on finding Eddie and giving him a piece of her mind. She understands Eddie being upset with the lawsuit, but to hold a grudge for so long and eventually leaving Buck when he probably needs Eddie now the most?
“There you are!”
Eddie looks over, and raises his eyebrows when he sees Maddie walking up to him. “Mad-” He stops when Maddie walks up to him, slapping him across the face harshly. “Fuck, Maddie! What the-”
Maddie’s eyes widen as she takes a step back. “That’s for hurting my brother,”
Eddie looks up at Maddie as he cups his cheek. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
“You know, Evan needs you the most right now, and you’ve just abandoned him,” Maddie continues.
“He’s the one who abandoned us when he filed the lawsuit. I couldn’t talk to him, even when I wanted to, because of the damn lawsuit. Evan told personal things that weren’t his place to tell,” Eddie snaps.
“And he apologized for it!” Maddie shouts. “All he wanted was to get back to his family.”
“What’s going on here?”
Maddie looks over as Bobby walks up to them, Hen and Chimney behind him.
“Maddie?” Chimney asks, frowning at his girlfriend, just as surprised to see her at the firehouse.
Maddie takes a deep breath, and then she looks back over at Eddie. “You need to talk to Evan,”
“I’m not-”
“There’s no arguing this, Eddie,” Maddie finishes. She steps closer to Eddie, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Before he does something stupid to hurt himself.” She glances at the others, before storming away.
“What was that all about?” Hen asks.
Eddie looks over at the others, and their eyes widen when they see Eddie’s cheek now turned red.
“Did she slap you?” Hen asks, instantly walking closer to Eddie, examining his cheek.
“Yeah, but I kind of deserved it,” Eddie mumbles, cupping his cheek. “Hurts like a bitch though.”
Hen sighs. “Come on, let’s go get this cleaned up before it gets infected,” she says, grabbing a hold of Eddie and dragging him towards the bathroom, ignoring his protests.
Bobby looks over at Chimney curiously. “You know anything about this, Chim?”
“I’m just as confused as you are, Cap,” Chimney replies.
Buck is surprised when Sue immediately says yes to him being on the dispatch team. He thought for sure she would say no, especially since he and Maddie are siblings. But, of course, he’s not complaining.
Because, a job is a job. Buck is desperate, and he’ll need the money, especially for the baby.
“Firstly, I’d just like to say, congratulations,” Sue says as she walks with Buck.
Buck raises his eyebrows as he looks over at Sue. “Uh-”
“Maddie told me,” Sue explains. “At first I said no when she asked about you being a dispatcher, but then she explained what was happening with the 118 and she told me that you were pregnant. I understand, needing a job. Then I thought about it, and all the incredible things you’ve done as a firefighter, and I knew that you would be a perfect dispatcher. You’ll learn from the best.”
“Of course, with my sister on the team. It’s nice to know I’ll have some familiar faces around,” Buck says.
“Well if it isn’t my favorite Buckley sibling,”
Buck looks over and grins when he sees Josh walking up to him. “Hey Josh, speaking of familiar faces. Better not let Maddie hear you say that, she might actually kill you,” he says, hugging Josh.
“As you can guess, Josh will be training you,” Sue says. “I’ll leave you boys to it.”
“Alright. Follow me, Buck. Today, you’ll just be shadowing me,” Josh says as he walks over to a desk. “Getting a feel for how we run things around here, and how to answer calls correctly.”
“Okay. Sounds easy enough,” Buck says, sitting down in a chair beside Josh.
A few weeks of working at the dispatch, Buck is starting to settle in nicely, and find his place. He loves working with Maddie, and Josh has been helping him a lot, and now he’s gained a new friend.
He knew it wouldn’t be long before he would have to interact with the 118.
There’s a big fire in a hotel, and the dispatch team has been getting multiple calls. Buck knows that the 118 is working at the scene, getting the fire put out and helping people get out.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” Buck asks.
“Yeah, I’m-” the man coughs. “I’m still trapped in the hotel. There’s no way out.”
“Okay sir. Where’s your location in the hotel? I’ll send in help,”
“I’m in the basement. I was trying to escape the fire, but now I’m trapped, and the fires getting closer,”
“Okay, just stay calm. I’m sending in help and they’ll get you out as fast as they can,” Buck says calmly. “Stay on the line with me.” He takes a deep breath, before getting in contact with Bobby. “Captain Nash. There’s a man who says he’s still trapped in the basement of the hotel.”
“Buck?” Bobby instantly replies, clearly surprised to hear Buck’s voice..
“Yeah, that’s not important right now. You need to send firefighters in there to help the man get out,”
“Uh- right. Diaz! Matthews! Get inside the building! There’s still a man trapped inside!”
“Where to, Cap?” Eddie’s voice comes over the radio, and Buck takes a deep breath, because it’s been weeks since Buck’s heard Eddie’s voice, and he didn’t realize how much he missed him.
“He’s in the basement,” Buck speaks up. “Says he’s trapped in the fire.”
There’s a pause. “Buck?”
Buck doesn’t reply, and doesn’t realize that his hands have started shaking.
“Buck,”
Buck jumps when someone places a hand on his shoulder. He looks up and sees Josh standing there.
“Go take a break. I’ll take over for you,” Josh says.
“Thank you,” Buck breathes, immediately taking his headset off and standing up from his chair, heading towards the break room, where he finds Maddie sitting at the table.
“Buck, is everything okay?” Maddie asks, instantly seeing the panic in Buck’s eyes.
Buck shakes his head. “I thought that I’d be able to handle it,” he says, taking a deep breath. “Hearing them, but I just… I haven’t heard Eddie’s voice in so long. I panicked. God, I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey, you’re not an idiot. You have every right to react the way you did, especially after everything that’s gone down with you and the 118. Come sit down Evan,” Maddie says calmly.
Buck sighs, and walks over to sit across from Maddie. “I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,”
“Maybe- Maybe you should talk to Eddie,” Maddie suggests. “I don’t agree with how he’s treated you, but I think that it might be in your best interest if you talk to him. Tell him about the baby.”
Buck scoffs, shaking his head. “Eddie’s not going to want to talk to me. He’s pissed at me,”
“I’m not so sure,” Maddie says, earning a curious look from Buck. “From what I’ve heard from Chimney, Eddie has been walking around like a lost puppy. He hasn’t been the same since you left.”
“You think... he would want to see me?” Buck asks, biting his lip nervously. “I- I just really don’t want to deal with the baby alone, and I think Eddie deserves to know about her. I’m just… scared.”
“Well, of course you’re scared,” Maddie whispers, reaching over to grab Buck’s hand, squeezing it lightly. “You should go talk to him. I doubt they’re back at the firehouse. Maybe you can beat him to it.”
Buck sits up, suddenly determined to talk to Eddie, to make things right. “Tell Sue I’ll make it up to her,”
“Yes, of course. Go. Go talk to him,” Maddie encourages.
Buck races to the firehouse, wanting to make it there before the team makes it back. Luckily, he does.
Buck sits on the stairs, and waits nervously, until the fire truck finally pulls into the firehouse.
When Eddie spots Buck sitting on the stairs, he immediately pulls off his headset, shocked to see him, because it’s been at least two months since he’s last seen him.
“Well, what are you waiting for, loverboy?” Hen teases.
Eddie doesn’t hesitate, and jumps out of the firetruck, making his way over to Buck. “Buck?”
Buck immediately stands up, grateful that he’s wearing a hoodie that covers his small but growing bump. “Eddie,”
Eddie walks up to him, throwing his arms around Buck and then pulling him into a hug, surprising Buck. “God, I’ve missed you, Evan. So fucking much,”
Buck immediately buries his face in Eddie’s chest, gripping onto him tightly, afraid to let him go again.
After a few moments of just standing there, hugging each other, Eddie finally pulls away, but keeps his arms around Buck. Eddie gently wipes away the tears on Buck’s cheeks. “I- I’ve been such a fucking idiot, and I’m- I’m so sorry. God, Evan, I have so much to be sorry for, and I understand if you can't forgive me for what I've done. I had no right to treat you the way that I did, and you tried to explain yourself, but I let my own personal shit get in the way-”
Buck shakes his head. “Eddie, I forgive you. We were both idiots. I just wish we could have talked about it like real adults,”
Eddie chuckles. “Do you even know what being an adult is?”
Buck shoves Eddie playfully. “Shut up,” he says. He looks up at Eddie, and takes a deep breath, knowing that he has to tell Eddie about the baby, before he talks himself out of it. “Eddie, I’m- I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?” Eddie asks, his eyes widening as he stares at Buck.
“I’m pregnant, and it’s yours,” Buck mumbles. “I wanted to tell you before, but everything went to shit, and-”
“Fuck,” Eddie whispers, before pulling Buck into another hug.
Buck closes his eyes as he hugs Eddie back, relieved to finally have the baby secret off his chest.
Eddie pulls away from Buck, and kisses him passionately. “You’re sure you’re pregnant?”
Buck huffs out a laugh. “You think I’d be wearing this huge ass hoodie on a hot day like this for no reason?” He asks. “I’m- I’m pregnant, Eddie. I have proof I can show you later.”
“So, this is the famous Evan Buckley I’ve been hearing so much about?”
Eddie immediately turns and looks over, seeing everybody walking up to him. He steps closer to Buck, grabbing his hand, and holding onto it tightly. “Yeah, this is Buck,” he says, looking over at Buck.
****
Buck is happy to be reunited with the others, and he’s relieved to know that he was missed by his team. Buck's not sure if he fully wants to come back to the 118, because he enjoys being a dispatcher, but at least he knows Bobby is willing to listen to him this time, if he does want to come back.
Eddie takes Buck home when Bobby gives Eddie the okay to go home early. He only had an hour left.
There’s just one more person Buck has to see…
“Bucky!”
“Superman!” Buck beams as soon as he sees Christopher sitting in their living room.
Christopher pushes himself up from the couch, and runs over to Buck, jumping into his arms.
“Christopher-” Eddie warns, stepping closer to Buck, immediately thinking of the baby.
“Don’t,” Buck says, pulling Christopher into his arms, and squeezing him tightly. “This is more than okay.”