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Music travelled through the quiet night, the light strumming of a guitar one with the breeze.
It was late on a Sunday night and Sapnap was sitting on his desk, laptop open in front of him and an unfinished essay glaring at him. He knew sleep was overdue at this point, he kept yawning, eyes fluttering closed after every paragraph he wrote, but he needed to finish the essay before his 9 am class and he wasn’t even halfway through it.
And, if he kept focusing more on the music coming from outside his window than on the words on the page in front of him, he wouldn’t be able to get much more done.
He couldn’t even blame his neighbour for his distraction, couldn’t open the window and scream at them about being rude and making way too much noise at 1 am. The music wasn’t loud. It was low, barely audible enough for him to make out through the window but just the right amount of noise for him to focus more on it than on the words blurring on his screen.
He didn’t recognize the song, couldn’t even hope to know the words to it and still, he was humming it. Knowing the lyrics wasn’t important when the sound of the strings being plucked in a consistent rhythm calmed his brain and made him relax as if he hadn’t left an assignment to finish at the last possible minute.
He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, before letting his head fall to the desk, forehead banging against the wood with a little more force than he had intended to. He should not have waited so long to start the essay, but there was nothing to be done about it now.
Maybe he should take a break. Go get something to eat, a bottle of water to drink and some fresh air. Maybe, he just wanted an excuse to listen more closely to his neighbour.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he got up from his chair and opened his window. The night air was cold, January weather not doing it any favours, and Sapnap took a deep breath, feeling it in his lungs. It was easier to breathe without the pressure of thinking up words in the confinement of his bedroom.
It also proved to be a good idea for another reason.
The sound of the guitar was more clear without the glass window obstructing it, a variety of notes floating through the night air into Sapnap’s bedroom and swimming in his ears. They were warm, far warmer than the wind biting at his face. Still, despite the cold, he leaned farther out the window to locate the exact place the music was coming from.
It came from below, from the barely lit balcony under his next-door neighbour’s and, when he looked closer, Sapnap could see a pair of feet propped up against the railing amongst the abnormal number of plants that whoever lived there kept.
Sapnap squinted, trying to get a better look at the person who kept on playing the guitar, oblivious to the boy who was watching from above. Still, he couldn’t see much beyond their legs, with a wall covering his view and the night too dark. He could hear the music though, and that was enough.
He could hear the soft plucking of strings, the slide of fingers along the neck of the guitar. It was beautiful. It was peaceful. It was 1 am on a Sunday and Sapnap felt at peace simply standing by his window listening to his neighbour playing the guitar.
There was something calming about enjoying music with a stranger while pretending like he didn’t have any responsibilities to attend to.
He thought that if he got the chance to stop time right then, he would. He would stop the clocks from turning and would enjoy this moment for as long as he could. No worries, no preoccupations, no school. Only the music.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, his gaze glued to the sky and his ears focused on the balcony below, but, when the music stopped, it felt almost as if no time had passed.
He watched as his neighbour got up, heard them hum softly and then pick up their things. And then, the glass door slid open and closed again, leaving Sapnap in silence.
When he went back inside, he couldn’t feel his nose because of the cold, but the music had warmed him inside.
***
It became a routine.
Every Sunday, at 1 am, Sapnap would open his window and stick his head outside to listen to his neighbour playing the guitar. No matter how tired he was from studying, no matter how sleepy he felt, the moment he heard the first strum of the guitar, his hand would be on the window ready to open it. And, for as long as his neighbour was playing, he would sit there and listen.
Even Dream had noticed. A few weeks after the first time, he knocked on Sapnap’s bedroom door to ask for the hoodie Sapnap had stolen from him earlier that week and had walked in on his roommate sitting on the floor by the window, looking out as if it was the most interesting thing and as if his room wasn’t getting colder.
“What are you doing?” He had asked.
Sapnap startled, looking at him in surprise, so enthralled by the music that he hadn’t even heard the door opening.
“Did you know that our neighbour plays the guitar?” He offered as an explanation.
“Which neighbour?”
“Downstairs.” He moved his legs so that Dream could walk up to the window and look outside.
Dream peeked outside and nodded when he saw where the noise was coming from, turning back to raise an eyebrow at Sapnap.
“So, you’re just sitting there listening to them play?”
“They’re good,” Sapnap defended himself.
“Do you even know what songs they’re playing?” Dream left the window and sat on the edge of Sapnap’s bed.
“I don’t need to know the songs to know that they’re good.”
“How long have you been sitting there listening?”
“Today or in general?”
“This isn’t the first time?”
“The first time I heard them was about a month ago, I think.”
Dream blinked.
“You’ve been creepily sitting next to your window listening to our neighbour playing the guitar for a whole month?”
“It’s not creepy,” Sapnap rolled his eyes. “I’m appreciating the music. And it’s not like I do it every night. It’s only on Sundays.”
“Do they even know you listen to them?”
“I don’t think they do. I mean, how would they?”
“Maybe you should talk to them instead of sitting there and listening like a creep. Tell them you like to hear them play.”
“Maybe one day I will,” Sapnap ignored the creep comment.
“I guess I’ll leave you to have fun. Goodnight, you idiot.” Dream got up from the bed and ruffled Sapnap’s hair before leaving the room.
“You’re the idiot,” Sapnap yelled so that he would hear from the other side of the door, knowing perfectly well that it was the weakest comeback he could have come up with.
He turned back to the window, his neighbour still playing. Dream could say whatever he wanted. At the end of the day, he was just relaxing and enjoying the music.
***
Sapnap wasn’t sure for how long he had kept up his Sunday night routine. It had become such a normal part of his life, that he didn’t even notice himself doing it most of the time anymore.
With time, listening to his neighbour playing the guitar had turned into something comforting for him. It was the part of his week when he didn’t have to do anything, he didn’t even have to think about anything. He could sit and listen and it was alright.
He still didn’t know any of the songs that his neighbour played, had never heard them before and probably wouldn’t even recognize them if he did listen to them in any other way. It was still comfortable and he would miss these nights greatly if his neighbour ever decided to stop playing.
The only thing that had changed was that Dream now took to making comments during the day. He asked Sapnap how his night had been every Monday morning, teased him about liking his neighbour and his music a little bit too much and made sure that Sapnap knew that he still thought that sitting by his window listening to his unsuspecting neighbour without saying anything was a little bit creepy.
And Sapnap had said, more than once, that he would approach the guitarist, that he would talk to them and tell them that he enjoyed their music. He had told himself and Dream that he would do all of it, but he still hadn’t.
It wasn’t a problem though. It wasn’t like his neighbour even knew that he was there, so there was no pressure to talk to them. As long as they were unaware of his presence, he was okay, he could gather his confidence until he was ready to make himself known.
Or, at least, that was his plan while he thought that his neighbour was unaware of him. It wasn’t like he had had any reason to think that he had been discovered. They had never looked up or done anything else that could have clued Sapnap into thinking they weren’t as oblivious as he had thought them to be. So, without being approached in all the weeks he had been listening to them, he had assumed that his presence wasn’t known.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later when Spring was already creeping up on them and the air wasn’t as cold, that his neighbour showed that they knew he was there.
It was a normal night, his neighbour played the guitar, Sapnap stood at his open window and listened. This time, since it wasn’t as cold, he dared to put a blanket around his shoulders and stick his head outside just like he had the very first time.
The music was a bit different than normal, more about the strumming than the usual plucking of strings. Yet, it was still nice and relaxing and Sapnap let time pass just staring at the few stars scattered around the sky with his neighbour’s song in his ears.
Then, in the end, he watched as his neighbour got up, saw their feet disappear from the railing to touch the floor, heard them pick up the guitar and, just when he thought they would turn and go inside, his neighbour surprised him by leaning over the railing and looking up. Looking right at him.
He had fluffy hair, that was the first thing that Sapnap noticed. A big fluffy pillow on his head and, for whatever reason, Sapnap wondered if it felt as soft to the touch as it looked. He couldn’t see the colour of his hair or his eyes, but he could see the toothy smile very clearly, happiness brighter than the stars above.
“Hello, stranger,” his neighbour said, voice audible in the quiet night.
“Hi,” he said for lack of anything more.
“Have you been enjoying the free concerts?” The guy tilted his head slightly to the right.
How long had he known that Sapnap was watching from the apartment above? How long had he been aware that someone was sitting there every Sunday night without fail?
“I- Sorry.”
His neighbour shook his head.
“I don’t mind,” he was quick to say. “I really don’t.”
Sapnap swallowed, nodded and took a deep breath to encourage himself to speak.
“I like your music.”
The guy grinned.
“I’m glad. What’s been your favourite tonight?”
Sapnap hesitated. “I- I actually don’t know any of the songs.”
There was a pause and Sapnap wondered how dumb his neighbour thought he was, sitting and listening to him playing songs he didn’t even know for weeks. Just when he was about to say something to hopefully make everything a little less awkward, his neighbour threw his head back in a loud, high pitched laugh.
Sapnap blinked, looking at his neighbour while he laughed freely and, in the confinement of his mind, he thought that this was a sound he liked even more than the music that was played every Sunday.
He watched as he brought a hand up to cover his face while he laughed and, for a second, Sapnap considered telling him to move it away so that he could listen to him more clearly.
“So, you’re telling me that you’ve been listening to me playing songs you don’t even know? For weeks?” He asked when he finished laughing.
“Well, when you put it like that you almost make it sound weird.”
“I don’t think it’s weird, don’t worry,” he smiled. “I think it’s cute.”
And Sapnap wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wasn’t used to dealing with people giving him compliments like this. Especially not people who were talented and pretty. He didn’t know how to reply to that, what would be an appropriate response. Should he change the topic? Flirt back? Was this even flirting?
His neighbour seemed to sense that he wasn’t going to say anything and saved him from having to come up with something by changing the topic with ease.
“I’m Karl,” he grinned. “And you?”
Karl. His name was Karl. Sapnap wanted to say it out loud, taste it on his tongue and watch Karl’s reaction to him saying it for the first time. It was such a simple word, but watching Karl smiling at him encouragingly, all teeth and squinty eyes, Sapnap thought that if he could only choose one word to say for the rest of his life, he would choose his neighbour’s name.
Karl was still staring at him, waiting for his answer and, in a moment of sudden confidence that he hadn’t felt yet the whole night, Sapnap decided that if Karl could call him cute, he could play the same game. He had made a fool of himself until now, he wondered if he could surprise Karl. He wanted to surprise him.
“If you want my name,” he started, a smirk growing on his face as he watched Karl look up in interest. “You’re going to have to earn it.”
“And how would I earn it?”
“Play my favourite song for me.”
“You want me to learn your favourite song? For you to give me your name?”
He sounded curious, interested, and Sapnap hadn’t thought that he would be able to inspire such emotions in someone, but it felt good to see them directed at him. Seeing them coming from Karl felt even better.
“Yes,” he grinned. “If you want my name, I want to hear my favourite song.”
“And what’s your favourite song?” Karl smiled, ready to take on the challenge.
“dnd by Glaive.”
“Alright, pretty boy, I will learn your favourite song and I will play it for you.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Karl winked at him and waved with a sweet smile as if he hadn’t just turned Sapnap’s heart upside down. He turned around and went back inside his house, leaving Sapnap to deal with his thoughts and the rush that talking to Karl and almost flirting with him had left in his veins.
The only thing he knew was that he had just talked to his neighbour for the first time, that he was cute and he had promised to learn Sapnap’s favourite song in exchange for his name.
A part of him almost didn’t believe the past minutes had been real.
***
It was Sunday night and Sapnap was laying on his bed.
The window was open, Spring breeze ruffling the curtains and the sound of a few cars passing by on the street below reaching Sapnap’s ears. It was a peaceful night, too peaceful.
Sapnap turned in his bed, his phone almost slipping from his grip and falling to the floor, and buried his head on the pillow, muffling his impatient groan. He glanced at the top of the screen, 1:33 am blinking at him mockingly. It was getting late and Sapnap’s patience was wearing thin.
Where was Karl?
It was the first Sunday in the two months that Sapnap had been listening to him that Karl hadn’t appeared and Sapnap didn’t know how to deal with it. Every Sunday, he was used to sitting on the floor of his room or at his desk doing nothing but listening to Karl play the guitar. It was almost like a break from the pressure of university and assignments and upcoming tests. It was his time to relax. He hadn’t known how used to Sunday nights’ songs he was until now that he didn’t have them.
He knew, logically, that there was a perfectly normal explanation as to why Karl wasn’t there. He knew it. Still, his mind couldn’t help but think that maybe it was his fault that Karl wasn’t there tonight. Maybe he had scared him off.
Last Sunday, it had been when they talked for the first time and Sapnap hadn’t even told him his name. They didn’t even know each other and Sapnap had decided that the first thing he would do is make Karl learn his favourite song to know his name. Why would Karl even want to know his name that bad? He wouldn’t.
Sapnap had been an idiot and now Karl wasn’t here with his weekly concert and he didn’t know how to deal with it.
He banged his head against the pillow again and sighed. He should stop thinking, he was going down a rabbit hole of overthinking and worrying and he didn’t want to deal with that.
He unlocked his phone and opened Spotify. He didn’t want to think anymore, he wanted the music to take up the space in his brain was that was being occupied by worries. He set it to maximum volume.
It wasn’t doing much. His brain was still overworking itself thinking about all the possible reasons Karl wasn’t there and how he could have made that happen.
There was a knock on the door which was unusual for this time of the night. Dream is rarely up this late; most days, he went to sleep while Sapnap was still awake and working on something or other. Their different bedtimes were even more prominent on Sundays when Sapnap went to sleep way past Dream.
“Yes?” Sapnap over the music coming from the phone.
The door opened, allowing him to see Dream leaning against the doorway, a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.
“No spying on the neighbours tonight?”
Sapnap groaned, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to deal with Dream’s teasing right now. He lowered the volume of the music and sat up in bed, grabbing his pillow to hug against his chest.
“You make me sound like a terrible person. And he isn’t there tonight.”
Dream’s eyebrows furrowed.
“You look upset.”
“It’s dumb.” Sapnap rubbed his eyes. “I’m so used to listening to him every Sunday. I don’t know, it feels weird. I guess I miss it?”
“He might be late.” Dream shrugged.
“He’s always there before 1 a.m.”
Sapnap looked up at Dream who seemed to be trying to contain his laughter. And Sapnap couldn’t blame him because he knew that if the situations were reversed and Dream was sitting in his bedroom with the window open listening to a random neighbour play guitar every Sunday, he would be laughing at him. At least, Dream could keep his laugh inside, he could appreciate that. He wasn’t sure if he would have been able to do the same.
“He’s probably busy,” Dream attempted to reassure him, despite the teasing curve of his lips.
“Yeah…”
“What?”
Sapnap sighed, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to explain to Dream the real reason behind his worry. He was afraid that Dream would tease him endlessly, that he wouldn’t hear the end of it. And, to be fair, that’s probably what would happen. But Dream was looking at him with curiosity and genuine concern and Sapnap knew his best friend. He knew that he would be teased, but only after Dream listened to him and attempted to help him because that’s how it always went with Dream.
“I talked to him last week,” he ended up saying.
“You did?!” Dream’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t quite believe what Sapnap was saying.
He left the doorway and for farther into the room. He sat on the bed in front of Sapnap, his right hand coming up to shove his shoulder playfully.
“How did you manage to do that?”
“He talked to me first-”
“Ah,” Dream interrupted him. “That makes more sense.”
“You’re an asshole.” Sapnap kicked Dream’s leg. “He saw that was watching and he asked me what song I liked the most.”
“But you don’t even know the songs he plays, do you?”
Sapnap looked away. “No.”
At that, Dream couldn’t contain his amusement anymore and threw his head back in a laugh. Sapnap guessed that he kind of deserved that one for being so into listening to someone he doesn’t know play songs he doesn’t recognize.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Shut up.” Sapnap kicked him again. “Or I won’t tell you the rest.”
“There’s more?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“You’re so annoying.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Dream raised his arms in surrender. “I’ll stop. Tell me what’s worrying you.”
Sapnap took a breath, rummaging his brain to come up with the right combination of words to explain everything to Dream.
“He asked for my name.”
“And what happened after that?”
“I didn’t tell him my name.”
“You-? Sapnap, what?”
“I know, alright.” Sapnap let himself fall back onto the bed. “It was stupid. I made kind of a bet with him.”
“A bet?”
“I told him that I would only give him my name if he played my favourite song.”
There was a beat of silence before Dream snorted and let himself laugh again.
“I didn’t know you had it in you to do something like that,” he teased.
Sapnap covered his face with his hands in shame, he didn’t need Dream to laugh at him to feel embarrassed about the whole situation. He already felt embarrassed enough.
“Don’t worry.” Dream patted his leg, the teasing tone still present in his voice. “I’m sure you didn’t scare him off.”
“But what if I did?”
“Is that what’s gotten you like this?”
“I don’t know.” Sapnap shrugged. “What if I came off too strongly or too forward or something.”
“Well, did he agree to learn your favourite song?”
“He said he would.”
“Then stop worrying. He wouldn’t have agreed in the first place if he was weirded out by it. And you said he talked to you first, did he know that you had watched him before?” Dream waited for Sapnap to nod his head. “I think if you were going to scare him into not playing in his balcony anymore, it would have happened then.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I always am.”
Sapnap threw a pillow at him and let himself believe Dream’s words. Believe that he hadn’t scared Karl off and came off as weird with the game he decided to play with him.
“I’m sure he’s just busy tonight,” Dream assured. “He’ll be back next weekend.”
Sapnap hoped Dream was right.
***
Maybe Sapnap should not have procrastinated this assignment this much.
He only had one more day to finish it and he was nowhere near done yet. He kept postponing it the whole week and now it was Sunday night and he could do nothing but raise the volume in his earphones and will his brain to make sense out of the sentences in the textbook in front of him.
He had been working on it for a few hours now and he didn’t know when he would have enough done to feel comfortable abandoning it for the night.
Sapnap rubbed his eyes tiredly, the words were starting to blur together and he kept yawning. He was sure that he would have to carefully revise every single line he had written down to make sure there weren’t any typos or inconsistencies, but, for now, he couldn’t be bothered to look for them.
There was a lull in the music, a moment of silence before the song changed and, through his headphones, the soft sound of a guitar was heard.
Sapnap startled, glanced down at the bottom corner of his screen and promptly took off his headphones. The song that had just started could be heard faintly through them from them, but he didn’t pay it any mind, didn’t even bother turning it off.
It was late, way later than he had thought it was and there was a much better melody coming from outside.
He got up from the chair, sparing one last look at his messy desk and the work he should be doing and ignored all of it in favour of opening his window and looking outside.
In the back of his mind, he wondered how a few guitar chords and strums had taken his focus off his assignment ao quickly, wondered how a stranger already had so much power over him.
The night breeze was cool against his face, Spring a much more pleasant time to enjoy quiet nights. Spring made it easier to breathe in and let the freshness calm his mind and to forget about his worries for a little bit. Spring made everything better. Even the music coming from the balcony downstairs. Especially, the music coming from the balcony downstairs.
Karl was on his balcony, feet propped up on the railing and the rest of his body hidden, position reminiscent of Sunday nights that had shaped the past two months of Sapnap’s life. Karl gave no indication that he knew he was being watched, but Sapnap hoped he did know that he was there. Hoped that Karl was as aware of his presence as Sapnap was of him.
The song that Karl was playing stopped abruptly, strings ringing harshly against the quiet night. Sapnap glanced down at Karl’s balcony, he was still there, hadn’t seemed to move at all.
Sapnap waited with bated breath to see what Karl was going to do. It was too early for him to go inside, too early to finish playing. The silence was loud, the waiting pressing down on Sapnap’s lungs, the feeling that something was about to happen heavy above his head.
Strings sounded again, a rhythm building up. It started low, almost hesitant as if Karl wasn’t quite sure of himself and of the way his fingers moved in the strings. As the song progressed though, the guitar became louder, confidence growing.
And, really, it shouldn’t have taken Sapnap so long to understand what was happening. To put together the chords in his head and recognize the song that was being played.
It was his favourite song. Karl was playing his favourite song. Karl was playing it for him .
It felt like a punch to the chest. His breath stuttering and his hands gripping the window tightly. It was overwhelming, the knowledge that someone had bothered to learn how to play a song because it was his favourite. Because he had asked. Because he had promised his name in exchange.
No one had ever done something like that for him and he felt an inexplicable warmth release from his heart and spread through his whole body. It felt nice. He felt important. He didn’t want this feeling to go away.
He craned his neck and leaned more towards the outside in an attempt to catch as much of Karl’s figure as he possibly could. Sapnap wanted to see him. Still, he couldn’t see much; nothing beyond his legs and the colourful flowers scattered around him.
A smile stretched across Sapnap’s face with each second that passed and Karl played his favourite song without a hitch. The melody more beautiful than it had ever been. Sapnap had loved this song for a long time now, but it had never meant quite as much as it did now. He had never loved it more, had never thought that a song could make him feel this song.
Or maybe it wasn’t the song itself. It was more so Karl. The cute boy downstairs who had learned a song just for him. Maybe it was a mix of the two.
The song came to an end slowly, the progression touching Sapnap’s heart in places where it had never been touched and then it was silent. Not a suffocating silence, a silence that let him breathe freely, that made him feel like he was floating and wouldn’t come down anytime soon.
“Did you like it?”
Sapnap looked back at the balcony where Karl’s upper body and face was now visible. He was smiling, but Sapnap could see the way his hands were fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. He was nervous. Sapnap made him nervous and that was an entirely new feeling. As was the sudden desire to reach and take Karl’s hands away from the sleeves, hold them in his hands and feel skin on skin.
“It was amazing,” he said, breathier than he had intended, mind still soaring someplace above.
“Yeah?” Karl’s smile widened. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here last weekend. I wanted it to be perfect before showing you.”
“It was perfect.”
“You deserve for it to be nothing less.”
Sapnap felt his cheek warm up. The way Karl was looking at him, his smile and the way he was talking to him. All of it made him feel shy in a way he hadn’t felt in too long. It made him think of warm summer nights, of holding someone’s hand for the first time, of soft cheeks and softer kisses. It made him want all of that with Karl.
“You can’t say those things to me.”
“I like the way you look when I say them.”
“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face was undeniable and big and bright.
Karl laughed and then looked up at him in wonder. Sapnap never wanted him to look away.
“So, have I earned it? Do I get to know your name?”
Sapnap pretended to think, pretended it was the hardest decision he had ever made when, in reality, it was the easiest. There was no other possible way to end this night, there was no other possible answer to Karl’s question.
“It’s Sapnap. My name is Sapnap.”
Karl’s smile had gotten somehow bigger and, for once, there was no doubt in his mind that he wasn’t alone in his feeling. That Karl was at least partly feeling the same turmoil that Sapnap had inside.
“Sapnap.”
Karl tasted the name on his tongue and Sapnap let the sound of it in Karl’s voice tickle his ears. He didn’t think he wanted anyone else to say his name ever again.
“What do I have to do to earn your phone number?”
Sapnap took a breath, his smile stretching impossibly big at the prospect of exchanging phone numbers, taking their conversations somewhere other than their balconies and windows. He wanted to see Karl in the daylight, wanted to know what he looked like when the Sun was shining on him. Wanted to know what was the colour of his eyes.
“Let me take you on a date.”
Karl seemed to startle at his words, perhaps surprised by the boldness, perhaps satisfied with the way things were going. If he squinted, Sapnap thought he could just make out Karl’s cheeks growing slightly darker.
“I would want nothing more.”
And, with twin smiles and a promise of a knock on a wood door the next day, Sapnap went back inside to sleep after what felt like an important page in his life, his assignment forgotten on his desk.