Chapter Text
Darkness.
Something heavy? Langa felt like he couldn’t breathe. Why won’t his lungs move ? Everything feels so heavy and his eyes are open so why he can’t see and--
Oh.
All the memories flood back into Langa’s head at once. The loud WHUMPF of snow becoming unstable behind them. His dad yelling to move faster, to “swim, Langa, SWIM!”. Langa had tried so hard to remember the avalanche safety training he had gone through several times while learning to snowboard, but his vision was blurring, and the snow was getting deeper and heavier, his legs wouldn’t move the way he wanted them to. He had tried to scream out, but he couldn’t see his dad anymore and his throat just wouldn’t make any noise and--
Soft, dim light.
Langa’s eyes flew open and he was gasping for air while clutching at his chest desperately. There was sweat pouring down his forehead, into his eyes. He tried his best to blink it away before sitting up. Where was he? Whose body was th--? He looked down at his body. Oh, right. He was in Okinawa, and he had been there for nearly a year at this point, and this was the same nightmare he had been having almost every night. He doesn’t think he’ll ever wake up not completely and totally confused. Cherry and his mom say that he’ll get used to it eventually, but when? The snow and Canada had been his whole life and now he has to get used to these things that were now his left arm and leg? At least I get to see the ocean, that part isn’t so bad.
“Langa, baby?” Langa snaps his head to the door of his bedroom, tearing himself away from his soon-to-be spiraling thoughts. His mom was peering through the small crack in his open door. His mom didn’t like him to close it at night, just in-case something were to happen. He pretended to be annoyed when she had brought it up, but was comforted in the fact that she would always be a noise away. He couldn’t bear the thought of…
“Were you having a nightmare about…?” She trailed off, but he knew exactly what she was asking so he nodded. She already had a small cloth in hand as she glided quickly across his room. Langa moved over to make room for her to sit, and she reached up to gently wipe the sweat from his face. He leaned into the touch, to try and feel some sort of relief or comfort from the warmth of her hand, but felt no such warmth. Just the rough texture of the cloth, and he sighed, knowing he shouldn’t have expected anything. The last thing Langa had felt in the snow that day was just numb, and after many months, the feeling still hasn't returned.
“Baby, you have to stop being in your own head so much. You couldn’t have done anything different. It wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”
“I--” He couldn’t find the words. Of course it wasn’t his fault. But Langa is still here and his dad…
“It’s okay. Don’t think about it.” She rubs her fingers through his hair for a moment before continuing. “Cherry called this morning. He wants you to swing by the shop today for a check-up. He said he’s quite impressed with how quickly you’re recovering, but wants to make sure there’s nothing wrong, anyway.”
“Okay.” Langa had gone to Cherry’s shop a couple times a week since he was fitted with his automail and sometimes Cherry would ask him to come an extra day. Cherry was one of the reasons they moved back to Okinawa. Not only is his mom from here, but Cherry was a renowned Automail Engineer. His mom had done so much research in the month after the incident, and it led them right to Okinawa, coincidently.
“He also mentioned something about his assistant shadowing him today. “Reki” was his name, I think? He doesn’t usually let him work with clients, but said he needed to learn eventually. We just didn’t want to surprise you, or overwhelm--”
“Uh, I-- Okay, thanks mom. I’ll leave soon.” Langa’s mom looked at him, always a little too long, like she was searching for something in his face. She gave him a soft smile, then left his room.
Langa dragged himself out of bed. It was still so awkward to step onto the floor and only feel skin on one side touching the carpet. He curled his five remaining human toes into the carpet, stretching his remaining human arm upward. Cherry and his mom hated him calling his real limbs “human”, “Having automail limbs doesn’t make you less human, Langa.” , they would say. Whatever.
Langa started to pull on some sweatpants when he remembered what his mom said. “”Reki” was his name, I think?” Reki was going to be there. He had met Reki before, but only in passing. Reki had always been working on something Cherry had assigned him, or not even at the shop most of the time, but he would be helping with Langa’s automail today. Reki always looked so warm and vibrant to Langa, something colorful in his dark world. He had always wondered what it would be like for Reki to touch his face. Would he be able to feel the warmth of Reki’s palm on his cheek?
Oh god. Langa tries to bury the thoughts deep into his brain. Why would that even matter? It’s not like he would feel anything at all. Reki was just another person, nothing special. This was stupid. He should just wear the sweatpants, who cares? He decides he doesn’t care.
On the way over, Langa stops by a convenience store after realizing he forgot to eat breakfast before he left. He buys a burger wrapped in foil and decides to eat it on the curb by his moped, even though it’s a bit warm outside. Japanese food is really good, but sometimes Langa just misses home. It doesn’t quite taste like any burgers he’s had in Canada, but it’s close enough. He finishes his food quickly, and puts the wrapper in his backpack to throw away at home. He starts to get up, but decides to sit a little longer, leaning back awkwardly on to the automail elbow. Langa wants to use these strange, foreign limbs more often, but they just end up feeling like harsh reminders of what happened. Maybe Reki could teach him how to be more graceful with them, and to feel more comfortable using them and--
Stop. Why would Reki want to do that? He doesn’t even know Langa. There’s no reason for them to be friends, Langa doesn’t need friends. He’s perfectly content with dealing with this alone, or with just his mom. Ugh. Why did you leave me here, dad? It would’ve been so much easier if we both had just…
Langa forces those thoughts down harshly, thinking again of his mom. How could he think of ever leaving her alone? All they had was each other and it was selfish of him to think like that.
Langa stands up abruptly, rubbing wildly at his face and groaning softly. Time to go.
Langa reaches Cherry’s after about ten minutes of driving and parks his moped haphazardly in the front of the shop. He leans down to dust the dirt off his pants from sitting on the curb earlier.
“Hey, kid! You’re looking pretty sharp today! What’s the occasion?” Langa straightens up and turns around to see Joe waving from behind his food stall across from Cherry’s shop.
“Oh, I-- Uh, no reason. My mom told me I should stop wearing sleep clothes out of the house, that’s all.” He lied. “I swear.” Why did he say “I swear.” like he was hiding something. Jesus.
“Hah, alright, kiddo. You look like you’re recovering well. Make sure to stop by after and I’ll fix you up with some grub.” Joe always fed him after he left Cherry’s. He would go even though he had just eaten. Another reason to like living here. Free food.
Langa waves goodbye to Joe before heading into Cherry’s. He takes a deep breath and opens the door and is immediately bombarded with noise.
It was Reki. He was running around, almost quite literally bouncing off the walls. He could barely make out anything Reki was saying, but caught onto broken sentences like, “I can’t believe I’m gonna get to--” and “--with--” and “--he’s my age, too!” That last one caught Langa by surprise. Why would it matter if Langa was the same age as Reki? All that would be happening is an automail check-up, right?
“CALM DOWN, IDIOT! He could be here any minute now and you don’t want to freak him--”
Reki and Cherry go completely still. Then, in a flash of intoxicating red, Reki is bounding towards Langa excitedly, nearly crashing into him and Langa stumbles backwards instinctively. Reki yells, and Langa winces at the sound, drawing his human hand to his ear. At the moment his hand connects with his ear, Langa feels two hands grasping at his shoulders, catching him from falling.
“Ah, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just-- I’m so excited to finally get to work with real clients and, and--” Reki cuts off. Langa’s eyes were growing wider at the weight on shoulders and he was gaping at Reki now.
It was-- It was both cold and warm. Langa glanced at both of his shoulders, one after the other several times. Reki had an automail arm, Langa knew this already, but it felt-- he could--
Both of Reki’s hands. He could feel them.
“No, it’s-- it’s okay.”