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Firsts, Past and Future
Riku lay against Cloud’s chest, listening to the heartbeat that was more familiar than his own. It had settled back down into its steady, gentle rhythm and with every beat, it somehow assured him that everything was and always would be all right. How many days, how many nights, had that heartbeat been the only thing that kept him going?
“Cloud?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you remember the first time you let me do this?”
Cloud lifted his head just enough to gaze down at him. He lifted a blond eyebrow. “I think it works the other way around.”
Riku rolled his eyes and moved so that he faced the older man. He idly noted that somehow they always ended up in this position after sex. “I’m not talking about the sex part of this. I mean, the first time you just held me and let me listen to your heartbeat.”
Cloud smirked then settled his features and threaded his fingers through Riku’s lengthy hair. “Yeah, I do. That was the first time I’d ever done that for anyone.”
“Really?” There was something very heart-warming about that.
Nodding, the blond continued idly playing with Riku’s hair. “You were my first for a lot of things.”
That should not have surprised Riku but it did. Feeling rather talkative, he raised his head and rested his chin on Cloud’s chest. “Like what?”
Cloud shrugged a bit. “I was never into cuddling before you. Zack liked to hold me when we watched movies or during the rare times when were just alone together. I let him, and it was nice, but I didn’t really care too much about it; at least not at the time.”
Riku made a faint noise and began tracing light circles across Cloud’s stomach. “I love it when you hold me.”
“And I love doing it.” The blond bit his lip. “Actually, there are times I’d rather simply hold you in my arms than do anything else.”
A grin tugged at Riku’s face. “That something new, too?”
Blue eyes gazed at him with warmth and affection. “Yeah.”
Riku smiled and again pressed his ear to Cloud’s chest. “I still can’t believe I have you. I…I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”
Cloud’s body tensed minutely and Riku knew what was coming next. “You’d be fine. You’re young still.”
“Oh, don’t start that again.” Riku sighed. He shifted his body so that he was lying beside the older man. He reached over and turned Cloud’s face toward him. “You are my first and only love. I don’t want anyone else and I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything. I’m happy that I got to share all my firsts with you and I can’t wait for all the future firsts we’ll experience together.”
Cloud studied him a moment before a half-smile appeared. “Future firsts, huh?”
“Yes.” Riku chuckled and laced the long lock of hair that framed Cloud’s face between his fingers. “We haven’t done a lot of things yet.”
The blond turned on his side and brushed at his lover’s bangs. “I think we have most of the major stuff covered.”
Riku flicked his eyes down toward the pillow beneath his head. “There’s one really big thing that I know you’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Actually, we’ve both been skirting around the subject for a long time now.”
Cloud worried his lip. He seemed hesitant to speak but eventually he did. His normally quiet voice was even more so. “Look, I admit that since Tifa got pregnant, the idea of marriage and kids has been on my mind. I was never one for kids; hell, I’m awkward enough around adults but…things are different now.”
“You’re great with Denzel and Marlene.”
“It took a long time for me to get comfortable with them and I still get worried I’m doing something wrong.” The blond abruptly chuckled. “The first time I met Marlene, I made her cry.”
“You did?” Riku grinned.
Cloud nodded affirmatively. “I was rather… harsh toward people back then.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” The teen ran his hand up Cloud’s arm. “You weren’t exactly warm and friendly when I met you.”
The other smirked. “And yet you continued to talk to me.”
“You intrigued me,” Riku stated simply. His fingers slipped down to brush at Cloud’s upper chest. “I had never met anyone like you.” He grinned and pinched at a nipple. “Plus you were the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Cloud’s breath faintly hitched and he lifted an eyebrow. “I thought we were having a serious discussion.”
“We are.” The teenager sat up. He moved over and threw a leg over Cloud’s body. He settled himself comfortably just above the man’s hips, placing one hand on Cloud’s abdomen. He casually brushed one of the two scars there with a thumb. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun while we do it.”
Cloud sighed, bringing a hand up to Riku’s waist. “We won’t get much talking done if you keep up with this.”
Riku shrugged, thumb continuing its movement. He flicked his aqua eyes toward the clock and grinned. “It’s after midnight.”
“Oh?” The blond questioned, slowly running his fingers along Riku’s hip. “Is that supposed to mean something?”
Riku slapped at Cloud’s arm and the older man chuckled. He suddenly shifted his weight and twisted, throwing Riku off of him. As the teen’s back hit the mattress Cloud scrambled on top him, switching their positions.
He brought his upper body down, lips falling upon his lover’s neck. Riku’s hands became tangled in spikes of blond hair as the other alternated between biting and licking. Cloud smiled against Riku’s pulse-point. “Three years to the day and you're just as reactive as you were then.”
“Three years ago,” Riku breathed out, back arching a little. “I was a literally just turned sixteen-year-old who desperately wanted to be de-virginized by a much older man.”
“Mm humm, “Cloud mumbled, flicking his tongue at Riku’s ear. “And now?”
“I’m a freshly turned nineteen-year-old desperately wanting to be fucked by the man who holds his heart,” the younger one declared, fingers curling against the back of Cloud’s head.
Cloud chuckled, pulling away enough to move over and capture Riku in a long, drawn-out and passion-filled kiss. Even after over three years of being together, he still could not get enough of the young man beneath him. Somehow, he knew the same was true for Riku about him. And though he had been right and the serious conversation was quickly set aside, Cloud knew they would come back to it. He was rather certain that they were in agreement on what their next big first should be, but that could wait for the morning.
He broke the kiss and gazed intently into aqua eyes. “Happy birthday, Riku.”
Riku only smiled and drew him back down.