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It's pouring down rain, and Jungkook's only ray of hope is in the bright yellow umbrella bouncing up and down as its owner skips to the coffee shop.
It's the middle of exam season and Jungkook is actually going to pull his hair out. He's tried to cut back on shifts, but even reduced shifts are too much for him to handle coupled with the stress of finals. Everyone's told him this-- physics is difficult. Music school is difficult. And like an idiot, Jungkook said "okay" and double majored in physics and music.
And now, in his second year of college, he has to deal with the consequences. And crippling student debt.
It's fine.
It actually is better, though, because of the previously mentioned bright yellow umbrella that is, as previously mentioned, Jungkook's last ray of hope in this cruel, cruel world. The owner of said umbrella isn't within sight yet, and Jungkook has to restrain himself from craning his neck to catch a glimpse before he comes in.
Instead, he busies himself by making the boy's usual order. Jungkook knows it like the back of his hand, knows to add just a little more sugar because it makes his eyes shine a little bit brighter and his hands close around the cup a little tighter. Like he wants to drink it again. Like he wants to see Jungkook again.
It's not a crush, it's absolutely not a crush. Jungkook insists this to Hoseok and Yoongi over and over when they tease him. He just wants to do something nice for someone, make their day better, okay--
The bell rings and Jungkook whips his head around so fast he nearly drops the coffee and spills it all over the floor.
It's him. (Of course it's him, Jungkook thinks, you idiot.) Jungkook's breath catches in his throat and he can hear his heart pound in his ears and thank the universe Hoseok reaches the boy before he does because Jungkook probably wouldn't have survived-- not his hair, slightly wet and curly from the rain, or his sky-blue raincoat, or his lovely eyes or his lovely voice. Jungkook turns around, cheeks heating up, and busies himself with the coffee again.
But it's not long before Hoseok is tapping him on the shoulder, grinning and whispering, "He asked for you."
"For me?" Jungkook's breath catches in his throat again, and he steals a glance at the boy, who's waiting at the counter, rocking back and forth on his heels and looking absolutely adorable.
"Yes, go, go!" Hoseok says, laughing, giving Jungkook's shoulders a little shove in his direction.
Jungkook nearly trips but catches himself before reaching the counter. He almost chickens out, almost runs back to Hoseok, but then he thinks about how he's trying to be more assertive lately, trying to be less nervous around other people, and he calms down.
"Hi, Taehyung-ssi," he says, trying to sound as confident as possible, finally looking him in the eye.
Taehyung smiles, an adorable boxy smile peeking out from his raincoat.
"Hi, Jungkook-ssi, I, um..." Taehyung digs through the large pockets in his coat and Jungkook swears he notices pink dusting his cheeks. Taehyung's eyes light up when he finds what he's looking for, a small to-go bag.
"This is for you," he says softly, and holds it out. "It's, um, brownies, from our bakery, you know the one across the street? Because it's exam season and everyone's kind of stressed and it's raining so I thought, um, sorry I'm rambling but-- I thought it could cheer you up. Yeah."
Jungkook is still stuck on Taehyung's first sentence. "It's for me?" he breathes.
Taehyung nods, ducks his head.
"Oh, wow, um-- thank you, thank you so much." Jungkook smiles when Taehyung looks back up, takes the bag of brownies, and clutches it to his chest.
"They're, um, still warm," Taehyung says, smiling softly back. "If you were gonna eat them now."
"Okay," Jungkook breathes, tries not to combust on the spot. "I have a break in fifteen if you're sticking around."
Taehyung grins. "You thought I'd leave without my special Jungkook-made coffee?"
"I'm surprised you're this awake without it," Jungkook teases, sets the bag down on the counter, and goes to finish Taehyung's coffee.
"Hey, I'm always awake! I was just... saving my energy."
"For?"
"For, um... Top-secret activities. I'm a spy," Taehyung stage-whispers.
Jungkook fake-gasps. "Are you spying on me, then?"
"Yeah, the brownies are actually a ruse," Taehyung says.
"You just blew your cover."
"Fuck." Taehyung's eyes widen. "I mean, not fuck. Poop? Oh my god, sorry for saying fuck. Fuck, I just said it again-- I'm going to stop talking now--"
Jungkook is already laughing, though, and Taehyung relaxes as Jungkook walks back over to him, still giggling. He writes Taehyung-ssi, who is spying on me on the cup, ignores Yoongi and Hoseok's side-eyes, and hands it to Taehyung.
"See you in fifteen?" he asks shyly, and Taehyung nods, and Jungkook realizes that his smiles are warm, warm like the rest of him must be.
"Jungkookie," Hoseok teases when he comes back, and Jungkook swats his shoulder.
"Shut up," he says under his breath.
"What did he give you?" Yoongi asks, settling by Jungkook's side as they all make orders.
"Brownies," Jungkook answers.
Hoseok gasps and stops making his order entirely. "Oh my god, brownies, I want brownies, can you give me one of your brownies, pretty please, I'll be your best friend," he pleads, pouting exaggeratedly.
"No," Jungkook says sharply.
Hoseok glares. "Hyung, can you fire him?"
Yoongi rolls his eyes. "I'll get you a brownie after work, how does that sound."
Jungkook quickly escapes Hoseok's dramatic speech about how Yoongi is the best boyfriend ever and takes over the register before his break starts. The brownies sit on the counter, and Jungkook half-guards them, not trusting Hoseok one bit.
Eventually, fifteen minutes go by, and Jungkook is discarding his apron, ignoring Hoseok's aggressive winks in his direction, and heading over to Taehyung's table, brownies in tow.
"How's your spying going?" he asks, sitting down across from Taehyung with a nervous smile.
"It's on hold," Taehyung says, grinning back. "I have to finish this portfolio first."
It's then when Jungkook notices the notebook filled with ideas and rough sketches spread out over Taehyung's workspace, next to his laptop. When Taehyung sees Jungkook's gaze, he says, "Don't worry, go ahead and look if you'd like. None of it is that special, though."
"May I?" Jungkook asks, reaching for the notebook. When Taehyung nods, he takes it gingerly and looks through the pages slowly. Sketches and annotations fill up every page-- Taehyung isn't the type to leave any space. The notebook is flimsy and clearly used for scrap ideas, but Taehyung seems to treat every page like it's special, anyway.
"Are you an art major?" Jungkook asks, stopping at a rough sketch of a cat-- written next to it is I'm so bored why did I take The Generative Power of Systematic Perceptual Painting from Life and Observation WHYYY.
"Yeah," Taehyung replies. "Technically my major is painting, but I like doing other things on the side, too-- my friend Jimin does glass and ceramics and he's been teaching me how, but I really, really love photography, too. But I think--" he pauses, takes a sip of the coffee Jungkook made him. "I think there are some things you just have to keep for fun, you know? That's what photography is for me."
"Oh, definitely," Jungkook says. "That's dancing for me. My friend Hobi-- he's the one at the counter right now-- we've been friends since high school, he's at a dance conservatory right now, and I was really considering going there, too, but I didn't want to leave music or science behind, so I decided to keep it as a hobby. And I'm really glad I did because it helps me relieve stress and I'm not constantly worried about whether I'm good enough, you know?"
"That's exactly what I mean," Taehyung says, giving Jungkook a small smile. "Wait, hold on--" Taehyung sits up, leans forward-- "I totally forgot, try the brownies, before they get cold."
"Oh, yeah!" It had totally slipped Jungkook's mind, too caught up in their conversation. He takes a bite of one out of the four brownies and visibly melts almost immediately. "Oh my god," he says. "Oh my god."
"Do you like it?" Taehyung asks nervously.
"You know that Shakespeare quote, 'Hell is empty and all the devils are here?'" Jungkook responds.
Taehyung pales. "Yeah, I know the one," he says tentatively.
"Okay, a new quote by Jungkook, you heard it here first. Heaven is empty and all the angels are in this brownie."
Taehyung sighs in relief. "Oh my god, you scared me, I thought you hated it."
"If someone hates this, I would think they were, like, a vampire or something. This is amazing." Jungkook takes another bite, sighs in happiness.
He's not exaggerating. The brownie is sweet but not overbearingly so, tastes like his mom's fudge that he only got to taste once in a blue moon as a kid. And Taehyung was right-- it's ten times better fresh out of the oven.
Taehyung smiles, blush dusting his cheeks. "Thank you. I made them myself, so that means a lot."
"I'm just acknowledging pure art," Jungkook says, and takes another bite before asking, "So you bake too?"
"I'm good at it because I work at the bakery, but I baked a lot in high school, too," Taehyung replies. "I just like making people happy through food, it's the best part-time job I could get, I think, even if it's stressful sometimes."
"Well, you've made my day," Jungkook says, smiling. "And I might not like coffee that much, but I get to work with my two best friends in the entire world, so I think that makes it worth it."
"How'd you meet your other best friend, then?" Taehyung asks.
"Oh, Yoongi-hyung? In one of our production lectures. We're both music production majors, and I got placed in an advanced class in my first year because the professor said I had 'promise,' no pressure at all, right?" Jungkook laughs, and Taehyung snorts, smiling. "Anyway, Yoongi-hyung is literally the coolest, and he took me under his wing and he's taught me so many amazing things. I genuinely don't know where'd I be without him. He's the one who offered me this job, and then Hoseok, like, a month later when the dance studio he taught at went out of business. But, yeah! That's how we met."
"You're a music major? That's so cool," Taehyung says, in quiet awe.
"Music and physics," Jungkook answers, "I'm double-majoring."
Taehyung's jaw drops. "How are you alive?"
"Good question." Jungkook smiles sheepishly.
"I feel bad for half-complaining about this portfolio, then," Taehyung says, taking another sip.
Jungkook laughs. "Don't be," he replies, after another delicious bite of the second brownie. "I can't draw to save my life, so art portfolios sound like hell."
"I don't even know what physics is," Taehyung says.
"Good," Jungkook shudders. "Good. Keep it that way."
Taehyung giggles, before getting out an "okay" and then giggling again. His hair falls over his eyes a little when he laughs. Jungkook is enraptured.
"Tell me about your portfolio," he says.
"Really, you want to hear?" When Jungkook nods, Taehyung smiles and explains, "Right now I'm working on my final portfolio-- it's gonna be mostly paintings and I might throw a sketch here or there, too, I haven't really decided if it'll fit with the theme I want-- but I'm digitally selecting color palettes for my next piece right now since inspiration isn't really hitting at the moment."
"What's the theme? If there is a theme, I don't really know how portfolios work," Jungkook says sheepishly.
"Oh, yeah, there is! It's called Singularity, and--" Taehyung pauses, peers over Jungkook's shoulder, "I would explain it to you right now, but I think your manager is glaring at me, is your break over?"
Jungkook checks the clock in the corner, the cute pastel yellow one that Hoseok had picked out, jumping on his tiptoes, and Yoongi had pretended to hate before buying just to see Hoseok's eyes light up.
"Oh, shit, yeah--" Jungkook covers his mouth with his hand before speaking again. "Sorry for swearing, I meant, yeah, my break's over-- I really wanna keep talking to you, will you come back this week? I mean, no pressure or anyth--"
"Yeah, of course, Jungkook-ssi." Taehyung smiles that warm boxy smile and tucks some dark brown hair behind his ear. "Have a great rest of your day, okay?"
"Okay," Jungkook answers, reluctantly standing up. "Thank you again for the brownies, it was really sweet of you," he adds.
"It was nothing," Taehyung says. "I'm glad you liked them."
Rain still falls angrily outside the window, but Jungkook can't bring himself to care. He's on top of the world for the rest of the day.
Taehyung does come back-- the day after their first real conversation, three cupcakes in tow-- one each for Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jungkook. "Marry him," Hoseok whispers breathlessly into Jungkook's ear after he excitedly accepts the cupcake, and after Yoongi takes a bite, he says quietly, "Yeah, I agree, this shit is so good." Jungkook's blush reaches his ears. He writes Taehyung-ssi, bringer of baked goods on his cup, and they sit and they talk about Taehyung's portfolio.
"So a few months ago I made this painting called Singularity," Taehyung begins, "and my friend Namjoon liked it so much he seriously wrote a song about it-- actually, you guys would be great friends, I should totally introduce you-- anyway, he wrote this beautiful, otherworldly song based on my painting. My painting!" Taehyung beams at the thought. "And I think that was like a catalyst for something, and I just kept building off of the concept of a false, superficial love-- some of the symbols I put in it are lakes, reflections, masks, mannequins, and I'm keeping a mostly dark, velvety vibe to the whole thing. I haven't really felt this inspired in a while, so it makes me happy to make something I'm proud of. And I still can't get over the song, it sounds so beautiful. Too bad it was made for a vocalist, otherwise I would've begged Namjoon to put it on his next album-- and wow, I've been talking too much, sorry."
Jungkook has noticed over the past two days that when Taehyung talks about the world, he talks about it like every single thing about it is beautiful and precious. Even a concept as sad as his portfolio's concept has a hint of awe in it.
His crush grows larger, nestles into his heart, a timid but sure thing.
"I think that's amazing," he says, means it with his whole heart.
"There's still something missing, though," Taehyung says softly. "I don't know what it is yet."
"I think you'll figure it out," Jungkook replies. "If you're that passionate about it, it'll come to you eventually."
Taehyung smiles warmly at that and they settle into a comfortable silence. Jungkook eats his cupcake and thinks about the portfolio, mulls over the details in his head.
"The English word," he says after a while. "Singularity. Are you talking about the science singularity?"
"Um-- wasn't aware there was a science singularity," Taehyung replies sheepishly. "I just used it to mean the concept of being singular. What's a science singularity?"
"So, in astrophysics--" Taehyung shudders, and Jungkook giggles. "It's really not that bad, I swear. In astrophysics, a singularity is usually used to describe the center of a black hole. It's where gravity goes to infinity-- so spacetime goes toward infinite curvature, and matter gets crushed to an infinite density..."
At Taehyung's confused expression, Jungkook says, "Basically, space and time cease to exist and the laws of physics can't be applied there. It's pretty much a complete mystery right now since infinite density hasn't been fully explored yet. Am I boring you yet?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "No, tell me more."
"Really?" Taehyung nods. "Okay." Jungkook's eyes light up. "So, imagine if the Earth got squashed until it was super small, it would be super dense, right? All that matter confined into such a small space." Taehyung nods in understanding. "There are just much larger things in the universe than the Earth, right, so gravitational singularities are formed when really big stars die, are pulled together by gravity to shrink to the size of something like the nucleus of an atom, and become infinitely dense. And those become the centers of black holes."
Taehyung pauses, letting the information sink in, before asking, "Would it be really insensitive to make art out of a concept like that?"
"Considering no one's got trapped in a black hole yet?" Jungkook laughs. "I don't think so. Use it."
"Anything else I should know?" Taehyung asks, grinning. "Before I make a painting out of something I barely understand."
"Yeah, probably." Jungkook grins back and takes another bite of the cupcake before continuing. "Most people think the Big Bang started from a point of singularity, too. An entire earlier universe was pulled by gravity into one point of singularity and then rapidly expanded outwards. It's still expanding. At some point, it could cease-- it really depends on the density of the universe, the shape, other fun science stuff you don't need to hear about. Anyway, yeah, the universe will end, one way or another."
"Will it turn into a point of singularity, too, then, when it ends?"
Jungkook smiles involuntarily because wow, someone's actually listening to him, and wow, Taehyung looks genuinely curious and wow, Taehyung is his crush.
"It's unlikely," Jungkook answers, "but not impossible. But that is a much, much longer conversation."
"Mind telling me about it?" Taehyung asks, leaning forward, resting his chin on his palm.
Jungkook beams, shakes his head. "I don't mind."
And he tells Taehyung about it.
-
As much as Jungkook wants to sit and talk to Taehyung all day, they both a) have work and b) have exams, and their chats over breaks quickly devolve into quietly studying together. Jungkook is about to rip his hair out over aural theory (because unlike Yoongi, he was not blessed with perfect pitch) when there's a poke to the side of his arm.
Jungkook looks up, raising an eyebrow, but only sees Taehyung hunched over his lecture notes, tapping a pencil to his cheek.
Must be his mind playing tricks on himself, Jungkook decides and returns to his work, but a minute later, there's another poke to his other arm.
His head shoots up. He knows he didn't imagine that one, and he catches a hint of Taehyung's smile pass over his face before Taehyung can hide it as he returns to his work. So that's what they're doing now, huh? Two can play at that game.
Jungkook waits approximately forty-five seconds before delivering a swift poke to the top of Taehyung's wrist and then quickly retreating back to his notes, trying his hardest to keep his face neutral. And, like clockwork, just as Jungkook seriously begins to focus back on practicing uncommon intervals, there's a poke to the top of his head.
"Kim Taehyung," Jungkook whispers on instinct, glaring and smiling at the same time.
"I don't know your full name, how do you know mine," Taehyung whispers back thirty seconds later.
"You're really bad at spying, huh," Jungkook snorts. "Also, it's written on your notebook."
"Are you going to tell me yours?" They're still whispering, still not looking at each other.
"Figure it out yourself," Jungkook says.
Taehyung pokes Jungkook's nose.
-
Jungkook does okay on his exams.
He maybe could've done better if he hadn't spent a whole hour staring at his notes on quarks, thinking about Taehyung's habit of fake-chewing gum while he studies, but-- that's irrelevant. No one has to know about that.
Because Jungkook does okay on his exams, and then he's free for a few glorious weeks. He's not going anywhere-- he still has to work, and his parents are visiting Japan for Christmas anyway-- but he'll have the dorm to himself, at least.
Except on the first day of break, Jungkook wakes up with a fever and a raging headache. He guesses it's to be expected after the week of rain and the zero sleep and the general stress, but it still sucks. Groaning, he makes a barely-coherent call to Yoongi, explaining his situation, and Yoongi gives him the day off almost immediately.
Jungkook is too tired and sick to do anything and elects to instead doom-scroll through social media, watch shitty reality TV, and lie in a bed of his own tissues. It's almost a complete relief when his phone pings, with a text from Hoseok, cute sunflower emoji placed next to his contact name that's been there ever since Hoseok put his name in Jungkook's phone.
-
Chat: BFFS FOREVER :DDdddDdD
Hoseok: ur crush came today
Jungkook: idk who ur talking about
Hoseok: stfu
Hoseok: anyway <3
Hoseok: ur crush came today and he asked for u and i said u were sick and he looked rlly sad and said he'd come back tomorrow
Hoseok: and i'm a weak man
Hoseok: i couldn't leave him like that
Hoseok: so i kinda sorta maybe
Jungkook: maybe WHAT
Hoseok: gave him your number
Jungkook: oh my god
-
Chat: Unknown
Unknown: hey jungkook? this is taehyung :D
-
Chat: BFFS FOREVER :DDdddDdD
Jungkook: hobi hyung oh my god
Hoseok: kinda not sorry about it tho hehe go get ur man
Jungkook: he is NOT my man
Hoseok: sure
Jungkook:...
Jungkook: maybe i want him to be
Jungkook: but SHH
Hoseok: ok jungkookie
Hoseok: yoongi hyung says hi
Jungkook: oh fuck WAAAIT i left him on read
Hoseok: HEY U COME BACK HERE AND TELL YOONGI HYUNG HI BACK
-
Chat: Unknown
Jungkook: hi taehyung-ssi!! :D
-
Chat: BFFS FOREVER :DDdddDdD
Jungkook: sorry hi yoongi hyung
Hoseok: i will k word u
Jungkook: aww u wanna kiss me
Jungkook: WAIT why are u cheating on yoongi hyung
Hoseok: brat
-
Jungkook smiles, returning to his conversation with Taehyung.
-
Chat: Unknown
Taehyung: aah i hope u dont mind, ur friend gave me ur number!
Taehyung: and drop the formalities! :')
Jungkook: ok taetae hyung :D i don't mind
Taehyung: i'm crying
Jungkook: wait why?
Taehyung: no no its just
Taehyung: that nicknames so cute im crying
Jungkook: do u like it?
Jungkook: i think of cute nicknames for all my friends
Jungkook: if we're friends
Jungkook: ah sorry if u didn't want to be friends or anything
Taehyung: jungkookie shh :'))
Taehyung: of course we're friends!!
Taehyung: oh and are u feeling ok? ur friend said u were sick :(
Jungkook: i mean
Jungkook: i could be better
Jungkook: i'm watching this reality show where they have to go on three dates and then decide whether or not to get married
Jungkook: this one guy deadass proposed to the girl on the first date tho
Jungkook: so that's where i'm at
Jungkook: and ok :')) friends then
Taehyung: that sounds perfect
Taehyung: WAIT not the being sick part
Taehyung: the reality show part
Taehyung: i need updates
Jungkook: i'm here all week
Taehyung: aww hopefully not that long i hope you feel better jungkookie :((
There it is again. Jungkook knows it's just a friendly nickname, but still. It makes his heart skip a beat.
Jungkook: thank you <3
Jungkook: are u at work tho? am i bothering u?
Taehyung: no it's my day off <3
Jungkook: oh
-
Oh.
Taehyung came to visit Jungkook even though it was his day off.
Oh.
-
Jungkook: so where are u rn then?
Taehyung: <image attached>
Taehyung: with my dog!!!!!!
Jungkook: oMG
Jungkook: whats their name where are they can i pet them can i hug them i promise to love them forever and ever omg omg so cute
Taehyung: hehe his name is yeontan!!
Taehyung: he already loves u
Taehyung: when ur feeling better u should come to visit and see him cause he's 10x cuter in person
Jungkook renamed the chat: not to be overly dramatic but i would die for yeontan
Jungkook: OKAY
-
They text all day as more and more people impulsively marry each other on Jungkook's television and as Yeontan goes about his day. Conversation flows so easily that when Jungkook looks at the time again, nearly three hours have passed. He doesn't mind it one bit.
-
Chat: not to be overly dramatic but i would die for yeontan
Jungkook: taetae hyung i forgot to ask
Jungkook: wtf is generative power of systematic whatever
Jungkook: why did u take it
Jungkook: why is the title so long
Taehyung: ok first off coming from a (half?) physics major ur course titles MUST be longer so idk why u have to ask that
Taehyung: but for real
Taehyung: i took it cause there were no options left
Taehyung: worst mistake of my life
Taehyung: r u ready for this course description
Jungkook: YES
Taehyung: so. The Generative Power Of Systematic Perceptual Painting From Life And Observation informs the student how rules within composition, limiting color palettes, time limits, and self imposed guidelines and parameters enhance problem solving and creativity and spur more visual ideas - building off of perceptual painting
Taehyung: (perceptual painting is based off perception and live observation which is so BORING because its literally just looking at a thing and drawing it and u get no creativity or room to add stuff GRR anyway moving on)
Taehyung: and translating a perceived 3D object onto a 2D medium. With weekly painting assignments, film viewings, short writing assignments (STAB ME and NO THEYRE NOT SHORT THEYRE 10 PAGES LONG BOO), and thorough discussions through peer criticism and feedback (STAB ME PART 2), students will be able to explore creating greater content and meaning in their work.
Taehyung: that's the description
Jungkook: ...
Jungkook: informs the WHAT
Taehyung: britney_yeah_gif
Jungkook: i regret asking
Taehyung: i regret life
Jungkook: all of it?
Taehyung: yes
Jungkook: :(
Jungkook: so you regret meeting me :(
Taehyung: NO WAIT
-
They text into the night, and then Jungkook wakes up to a 'good morning, jungkookie' and his heart honest-to-god flutters. And maybe he jumps up and down a little bit out of happiness. Maybe.
-
Chat: THE BEST COFFEE MAKING TRIO THIS SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI hoseok-ah we're in korea... THATS STILL TO THE SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI
Jungkook: announcement
Hoseok: yes
Jungkook: i have a crush on taehyung
Yoongi: ok and?
-
Eventually, Jungkook does get better, and after five seasons of reality TV and a week of playing old songs on his guitar at 3 in the morning when he can't sleep, he returns to work.
Hoseok welcomes him back with an overly dramatic hug, Yoongi rolls his eyes and pats the top of Jungkook's head when he thinks no one's looking-- you know, the usual.
And then there's Taehyung.
Jungkook would be lying if he said he didn't hope that Taehyung would come during his break. He'd texted him that morning, finally going back to work yaay :D , and Taehyung had responded, so. So maybe Jungkook had settled at their usual table, the one by the window, sneaking glances out into the street for even a glimpse of Taehyung during his lunch break.
Fifteen minutes later and there was no sign of him. Jungkook slowly slumps in his seat. Maybe they'd developed a little bit of a routine together-- their lunch breaks apparently lined up, for the most part-- but maybe that was just for exam week.
He was just being sweet, those few times, Jungkook tells himself, you weren't special. With nothing to do, he sighs and pulls out the book he's been reading.
And he tries to read, he really does-- but every couple of minutes he peeks out from the book to glance outside the window again.
What had he usually done on lunch breaks? He wonders. It's all slipped his mind. Jungkook tries to concentrate on reading again, but then slumps in his seat, resting his head on the top of the book. He'll just rest for a few minutes... just a few...
When Jungkook wakes again, it's slowly, as he comes to terms with his surroundings. He's shifted in his sleep-- the right side of his face is using his book as a pillow, his left hand is curled around the spine as if he were going to open the book again, and... someone is lightly carding their fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck.
Jungkook takes a moment to let it sink in-- he hasn't felt this relaxed in ages, not since before exams and before he got sick-- until he eventually opens his eyes a little.
"Hobi-hyung?" he mumbles, trying to lift his head, then resting it back on the book when he realizes that it actually takes effort.
"No, it's me." The voice is soft, soothing, and definitely not Hoseok's-- it's lighter, more gentle, and--
"Tae?" Jungkook whispers.
Taehyung's hand moves higher to curl a lock of hair behind Jungkook's ear. "Yeah, Jungkookie." Jungkook's heart skips a beat at the nickname. "It's me."
I missed you, Jungkook wants to say, but doesn't. Instead, he closes his eyes and asks, "How much longer is my break?"
"When does it end today?" Taehyung asks.
"One."
"So fifteen minutes," Taehyung says softly.
"Okay," Jungkook says wearily, sighing a little. "That's not a lot. Okay."
"That's all the time in the world," Taehyung replies. His fingers pause. "Have you eaten yet?"
"No," Jungkook says, missing the way Taehyung plays with his hair already.
Taehyung's voice is softer, if that's even possible. "Oh, Jungkookie, you should eat, I brought you these, here, wanna get up so you can eat?"
Jungkook is so tired. "You didn't have to," he says.
"I wanted to," Taehyung whispers, almost as if he didn't want Jungkook to hear.
Jungkook lifts his head, slowly opening his eyes again, blinking a few times. Taehyung looks back at him with a gentle gaze, just a little bit of concern.
"I'm up now," Jungkook announces softly.
"Sorry I'm so late," Taehyung says. "The cookies took a little longer in the oven. M'sorry."
That's when Jungkook notices the box of chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter chocolate brownies, and double chocolate muffins in front of Taehyung, transparent cover wrapped with a yellow bow.
"This is..." There's so much. It all looks delicious, and it's-- "all for me?"
"Yeah, well, because, I, um--" Taehyung looks at the ground. "Because you were sick and you were so stressed from finals week, I just thought, since it was your first day back, that I could-- um, make some extra stuff, and, yeah, I-- sorry, sorry for rambling but I--"
"Taetae-hyung," Jungkook says, and Taehyung looks up. "Taetae-hyung, can I please hug you?"
Taehyung looks stunned for a moment before his gaze softens. "Of course," he says. "Duh. C'mere." He stands up, opens his arms a little. And Jungkook--
Jungkook melts into Taehyung's hold. Taehyung is only a centimeter taller than him, and he takes advantage of it, tucking his face in the space between Taehyung's collarbone and shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist, holding on tight, closing his eyes.
Taehyung freezes for a second before slowly placing his hands on Jungkook's back, pulling him closer. After a second, his left hand moves up to the curve of Jungkook's shoulder, and his thumb strokes back and forth across it softly.
"Thank you," Jungkook whispers into Taehyung's chest. "Thank you."
Because maybe the past month has been rougher on Jungkook than he realized, and maybe Taehyung's baked goods and soft smiles have been exactly what he needs.
And maybe Taehyung is right.
They have all the time in the world. Maybe they always have.
-
"So it might be a little cluttered."
They're walking down the hallway that leads to Taehyung's apartment. His apartment.
(Jungkook's not freaking out. He's not.)
"I don't mind clutter," he tells Taehyung with a small smile.
"Okay, good." Taehyung smiles sheepishly. "Joon-hyung and I are so messy, Jiminie is the only sane one, he cleans up after us." Jimin-- Taehyung's childhood friend, Jungkook remembers, who goes to the same conservatory as Hoseok. "He's not home, though. He brought Tannie to his studio for the day. Joon-hyung's boyfriend-- Jin-hyung, super nice, makes the best bulgogi-- he's working but normally they'd be attached at the hip, kind of a problem-- Anyway! It's just gonna be me, you, and hyung, so hopefully we don't burn down the house."
He says that so seriously that Jungkook falters a little, but Taehyung just grins and walks up to the door, and, oh, this is really happening--
"Oh, wait! I forgot to tell you--" Taehyung turns around, smiles sheepishly-- "Joon-hyung does music, raps on the side, you know, so he has a little workspace in here and if he's working we might have to be quiet walking in."
Jungkook raises his eyebrow in interest. "Do you know his rapper name?"
"Oh, yeah!" Taehyung grins. "He used to be called Rap Monster when I met him-- kinda cute looking back, actually-- but now he just goes by--"
Jungkook freezes. Interrupts. "RM?"
Taehyung nods in surprise.
"Oh my god," Jungkook breathes. "Oh my god, you know RM?"
"Um... yeah, are you a fan, then?" Taehyung's expression is more amused than anything, but--
Jungkook can't speak. He squeaks out, "I can't do this."
(RM was his idol. His idol. He was the coolest rapper in the universe. Including aliens. Which was saying a lot, because alien rappers must be really cool.)
Taehyung laughs. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just." Jungkook swallows, trying not to let his inner fan completely overtake him. "Oh my god. Sorry. I promise to be normal, but-- sorry. Oh my god, I'm going to meet RM."
"I-- Wow. I feel bad for laughing, I'm sorry, but--" Taehyung can't stop his grin. "I can't believe you have an image of Joon-hyung, I swear, he is the most awkward, clumsiest person on Earth. You'll be fine." He pats Jungkook's shoulder, lets his hand linger before pulling it away.
Jungkook takes a deep breath. "Okay. Okay, I'm doing this. Let's do it. I'm doing it."
"Okay," Taehyung agrees.
When they step into Taehyung's apartment, though, they're immediately confronted by a tall, dimpled man looking dejectedly at shards of a broken plate.
Taehyung hangs up his sweater and then whips around to what Jungkook is already seeing. "Hey, hyung, I'm home and this is-- oh my god, what did you do."
"Broke a plate," Namjoon says, staring at it. "Taehyung-ah, Taehyung-ah, I wasn't even in the damn kitchen this time. I was just walking from my room to the couch and I tripped on air and this plate was on the island, I knocked into the stool and the plate crashed right in front of me, Taehyung-ah, what the fuck."
"What the fuck," Taehyung agrees. "Oh my god. This is a new low, even for you." He turns to Jungkook. "See? See?"
And Jungkook can't help it as he begins to giggle.
The apartment is cluttered, but not uncomfortably so. It's clear that they try to clean it but they also try to keep it homely-- the slight disorganization makes it lovelier. And there's art everywhere, all different forms, all different styles, on the walls and on the dressers and on the shelves next to the vinyls that Jungkook just knows belong to RM-- shit, Namjoon, Jungkook knows Namjoon now. And then-- there's some paintings and drawings by the couch that Jungkook knows are Taehyung's, all unique colors and blending of nature scenes and cute tiny doodles of aliens shaped like hearts.
And then-- Taehyung's room.
It's small and disorganized-- canvases and papers and art supplies and stacks of jazz vinyls and developed photos scattered everywhere, like a flurry of creativity had passed through and no one had cleaned it up. But it's so beautiful, so Taehyung that Jungkook's chest fills with warmth.
"Sorry it's messy," Taehyung says sheepishly, turning to Jungkook as he takes the room in.
"No," Jungkook says quietly, "No, I love it."
He smiles softly at Taehyung. "What do you wanna do?"
"Let's watch a movie?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook beams.
They curl up on Taehyung's bed like that, not touching, laptop on Taehyung's knees as they watch Howl's Moving Castle. Jungkook loses himself in the artful scenery and the beautiful soundtracks of the movie, enthralled like it's the first time.
He doesn't notice Taehyung's gaze until near the end, where he looks over to catch his eye. Taehyung's looking at him warmly, like he had been watching Jungkook's reactions instead of the movie. Jungkook feels the blush creep up his cheeks. Taehyung only smiles.
When the movie ends they lay down on the bed and talk for hours, Taehyung putting on a jazz record and talking about all the music he likes and Jungkook tries to explain the theory behind them and Taehyung smiles even though he doesn't understand. And then they talk about their families and their friends and their best friends and the sun sets outside and Jungkook wants to reach out, wants to pull Taehyung's hand to his and tangle their fingers together, kiss his palm, the inside of his wrist.
(They don't touch but-- Taehyung's gaze, it feels like being touched.)
(Taehyung reminds him of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto-- his swan song. Like he was caught in a breath between notes, a flurry of art. Always discovering. Always loving.)
-
"Hi, Jungkookie, what's up?" Taehyung's voice is soft through the phone, a little weary but in a good way.
Taehyung's away at an art retreat for the weekend, and there's this weight on Jungkook's chest that can't seem to subside, weight of the week and the pressure to always be good, always be perfect at everything, everything all the time, and--
Jungkook takes a deep breath, then whispers, "Taetae-hyung, why did you major in art?"
Taehyung shifts in bed a little, maybe sitting up. He pauses for a second, hums. "I don't think there's a certain overarching reason?" he eventually replies. "But if I had to choose, I think it's because it's hard."
"Because it's hard?" Jungkook says, startled.
There's a pause on Taehyung's end, and then a giggle. "I just nodded and then remembered you couldn't see me," he laughs, and Jungkook smiles a little.
"S'okay," he mumbles, trying to sound a little happier.
"Okay, then," Taehyung says softly, "um, what was I-- oh. Yeah, because it's hard."
"Why do you say that, then?" Jungkook asks.
Taehyung pauses again, thinking. "A lot of people think you have to start something really early to be good at it. But I started drawing-- a lot of people don't know this about me, actually-- I started drawing when I was fifteen. Painting when I was sixteen." He laughs a little at that.
Jungkook does a quick calculation -- that means Taehyung's only been an artist for four or five years. He inhales a little, letting it resonate.
"I started for fun. And I just let myself have fun, I guess?" Taehyung trails off, thinking. That's how he started music, too, Jungkook thinks, but doesn't say. He exhales.
"Then it got harder because I got better. I critiqued my own work more since now I could see what was wrong with it..." Taehyung shifts again, the sheets rustling on his end. "But I liked it that way," he continues. "I liked it because it was hard. If art were easy, everyone would be able to make masterpieces, right? And sure, there are people born naturally talented, and there are people who worked since they were an infant, and I'm nothing like that."
Taehyung sounds a little sad at that, at the word nothing . He takes a breath, low but enough for Jungkook to hear through the phone. "Art doesn't come easy to me," he continues, with a little shake in his voice. "It's really, really hard. But-- that's why I like it."
And Jungkook--
"It's why I love it," Taehyung finishes softly into the phone.
--Jungkook inhales sharply, bites his lip then his tongue to try not to let a sob escape.
"Jungkookie." Taehyung's voice is gentle, sad, and he knows , Jungkook can tell. "What's wrong, can you tell me what's wrong?"
"It's just--" He starts and can't finish, he's too afraid of crying into the phone. He pulls the covers over his head, hides from his own room. "It's just-- I--"
"You don't have to say it, it's okay," Taehyung says. "It's okay to just cry, Jungkookie, it's okay to cry. I'm right here."
Jungkook clutches the phone closer to his ear, tries to pretend that Taehyung, warm, sweet Taehyung, is next to him. Is right here.
"It's just-- I'm not-- I feel like nothing," Jungkook says, bites his lip afterward, unable to stop the silent tears from falling down his cheeks. "I'm just so-- I'm nothing. I'm nothing."
"Jungkook, no," Taehyung says quickly. "No, no, you're not--"
"But I am," Jungkook interrupts, and then it's like a wave of words rising up, like bile in his throat coming out, "I'm just so bad at math, it's actually laughable, I can't-- music theory makes me want to hurl, and I was staring at the piano the other day, just wondering-- why, why am I so horrible at this, why do my fingers ache and why does my brain hurt if it all leads to nothing, anyway, there are so many other people better than me, and none of this will matter, because I'm nothing, Tae, I like to pretend that I'm good and I'm trying but it's all going to lead to-- absolutely nothing --" Jungkook cuts himself off with a sob, tries to stop the sob and fails, gasps for air as he cries.
"No, shh, bun, no," Taehyung's voice is so gentle that Jungkook's heart skips a beat, tears falling faster down his cheeks. "It's not like that. Shh, Jungkookie, it's okay, please breathe with me, okay?"
He takes an exaggerated breath through the phone and Jungkook tries his best to copy, to calm down, but the thoughts keep coming to his head, more and more as he cries-- it subsides and then starts and it takes a long time for the tears to stop.
Eventually, though, they do-- Jungkook breathes a little easier, loosens his grip on the phone, the blankets.
"First--" Taehyung starts softly, and Jungkook hangs on to his every word-- "First, none of that is true. I think you've worked so hard to get to where you are and you don't give yourself enough credit. Your music is like-- it's like part of nature, like it was always meant to be part of the earth, like the sky. And you can figure out the planet, too, and all the other planets and all of the stars-- when you look up at the night sky you can see so many things the rest of us can't understand, and isn't that beautiful?"
He says the word beautiful with a little awe in his voice, like he really believes that Jungkook is beautiful. Something traitorous climbs into Jungkook's chest, his heart, and constricts.
"And besides that-- this isn't the whole world," Taehyung says. "It's not the whole world. Do you think I'm just an artist?"
"No." Jungkook whispers.
"Good, cause I'm a bunch of other things, too, and so are you, okay? You make so many people smile every single day. You're so kind to the world but so harsh to yourself, and I don't know why, because-- you're part of the world, too. You deserve to smile just as much as everyone else." And then, softer, "Wanna see you smile all the time. Makes me really happy."
(He makes someone happy.)
"Tae, I don't know what to say," Jungkook breathes.
"Don't have to say anything," Taehyung responds quickly. "Nothing at all. Are you feeling a little better?"
"A little," Jungkook says.
"Good," he hums. "Wanna talk about it some more?"
"Not really," Jungkook says quickly, because each time he does, he feels worse. "I just--" it's selfish to say, it's so selfish, but-- "I just want a hug, kind of," he whispers.
Taehyung inhales a little, exhales just as shakily. "Wish I could hug you, bun," he says. He sounds so sad.
Jungkook curls further into himself under the covers.
"You're coming back Monday?" he asks in a small voice.
"Monday morning," Taehyung affirms.
Jungkook whispers, "Can I hug you then?"
"Course you can." Jungkook can hear Taehyung's smile through the phone, smiles a little back. "Always. Anytime."
"'Kay," Jungkook says softly, clutches the phone a little closer to his ear, like it will bridge the distance between them.
"D'you wanna hear about my day?" Taehyung asks gently, an unspoken you can say no, it's okay to say no.
"I-- yeah, I would really like that," Jungkook says, lets his voice slip into something fond.
Taehyung hums, and begins. He doesn't ask if Jungkook is following, just keeps talking in a low, soothing tone, eventually strays off the topic of his day to talk about random things, pretty things, art he thinks is presumptuous and art he thinks Jungkook would love and art he's made that he hates and art he's made that he loves loves loves--
And Jungkook finally closes his eyes.
Breathes.
Taehyung: i think you fell asleep
Taehyung: are u still here? <3
Taehyung: ah u really are sleeping
Taehyung: goodnight sleepy jungkookie <3
Jungkook wakes up the next morning, stares up at the ceiling, and thinks of the kindness of the world.
-
Taehyung's hugs are like love.
He wraps his arms around Jungkook's waist and places his chin on top of Jungkook's head and just-- holds on. Lets Jungkook cling to him, hold onto the edge of his shirt. He moves one of his hands up so that it cards through the hairs at the nape of Jungkook's neck.
"Hi," he whispers, voice sweet like honey, eyes warm.
"Hi, hyung," Jungkook says into the crook of his shoulder. He wants to kiss across Taehyung's collarbones, up to his jaw and then his lips.
He closes his eyes.
"Missed you," he says, so softly that Taehyung might not have caught it.
"Missed you too, bun," Taehyung says, and Jungkook's heart constricts at the name. He curls in further, presses in closer. Pretends it's from the cold, the wind of the train station. Taehyung's arms tighten around his waist.
"Are you feeling better?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook nods.
"It was just a bad day," he says.
Taehyung hums. "Those happen."
"Those happen," Jungkook agrees.
"I-- I'm glad you're feeling better, Jungkookie," Taehyung says. Then they both go quiet. Jungkook exhales, holds on tight, allows himself to be held.
After a long time, Jungkook relaxes his grip a little, takes his head away from under Taehyung's chin. He looks up, meeting Taehyung's gaze.
(It might be more than a crush.)
And then he says, "Jeon Jungkook."
Taehyung tilts his head to the side, tucking some hair behind Jungkook's ear. "Hm?"
"My full name," Jungkook breathes. "It's Jeon Jungkook."
"Jeon Jungkook," Taehyung repeats, whispering, like it's a gift he's been given.
"You asked me all those days ago and I told you to figure it out but--" I couldn't wait any longer, he thinks, but doesn't say. I want you to say my name.
"Jeon Jungkook," Taehyung says again.
"Kim Taehyung," Jungkook whispers back.
(It's more than a crush.)
Taehyung holds him close, says his name like it's important, and--
(Way more than a crush--)
Jungkook is in love.
-
Jungkook is in love.
When he tells this to Hoseok, Hoseok makes a happy sound, wrapping his arms around Jungkook tightly. "Our Kookie is all grown up," he coos.
Jungkook scrunches his nose in disgust, tries to get away. "Hyung," he whines. "Stop."
"Nope," Hoseok says. "No, I'm going to talk about this until I get grey hairs."
"You already have them," Jungkook replies. "Old man."
"I'm going to pretend like you didn't just say that," Hoseok says, tightening his arms around Jungkook almost threateningly, pouting, "And be happy that our baby is in love."
Jungkook falters in Hoseok's hold, taken aback by someone else voicing it aloud.
"Hyung," he whispers.
Hoseok understands. He always does. He says gently, "I know."
"I really love him."
"I know you do, baby," Hoseok says. "I see the way you look at him."
"He feels like," Jungkook can't explain it in words, but-- "like my north star."
"For the record," Hoseok says, smiling, "he looks at you that way, too."
"What way?" Jungkook whispers.
"Like you're guiding him home," Hoseok says softly.
-
Home.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung and doesn't feel at home, but--
It's like--
He might be. He might be close to home. He can go there if only he tries, if only he allows himself to revel in the joy of the world, beyond structures of the world and of his own productivity complex-- in nature, in art, in the stars, in love, in his family and his friends and--
Taehyung.
One night, as they lay on Taehyung's bed together, swathed in darkness, not touching, Taehyung whispers to him so quietly--
I think I could love myself--
And Jungkook turns his head, smiles. "That's good," he whispers back. "I think-- I think I could find a home in myself."
"That's what a home is," Taehyung says.
That's what a home is.
"Did you know," Jungkook whispers, "That nearly all the elements in the human body were made in a star?"
"Thought that was made up," Taehyung breathes.
"No." Jungkook beams, moves closer to Taehyung, excited beyond belief that he gets to tell Taehyung this, that he will get to see the echoes of Taehyung's face when he learns. "You're going to love this, Tae. There's something called spectroscopy that we use to find the abundance of elements in stars and their remnants-- and-- it's okay, you don't have to really understand it but there's concrete proof that we share the same atoms as nearly every star in the galaxy. Some of them could be from the Big Bang, too. So-- yeah. We're made of stardust. You and me."
Taehyung reacts to it slowly as he understands-- he looks at Jungkook with something like longing in his eyes, and then--
He moves infinitesimally closer--
"Can you--" he rasps-- "Bun, can you--"
"Yeah," Jungkook breathes, and pulls Taehyung to his chest, lets him cling.
Taehyung buries his head in Jungkook's chest, and one of Jungkook's hands comes to rest on his back, the other carding through his hair softly, like how he knows Taehyung likes.
(The truth is, Jungkook knows Taehyung's been having a hard couple of days. He can see it in his tired eyes, his little complaints about long shifts that are bothering him more than he lets on, the way he hovers closer to Jungkook like he's aching for-- something--)
"Thank you for telling me," Taehyung whispers, a little muffled. "Jeon Jungkook."
Jungkook hums. Kisses the top of Taehyung's head.
"Hey, Tae, my Tae," he murmurs. "I've always thought about-- maybe thousands of years ago, someone wished on a star, and it became you."
Taehyung inhales sharply. Jungkook falters a little but then Taehyung moves closer and presses a slow tiny kiss to Jungkook's collarbone, and Jungkook feels it spread from that spot to everywhere in his body, warm warm warm.
"I really really love-- that," Taehyung whispers into Jungkook's chest. "I really love that."
Jungkook's heart constricts in his chest. He holds Taehyung tighter. "I really love that, too," he whispers, hollow. "Kim Taehyung."
-
Chat: googie and yoonie (under protest)
Yoongi: ur boyfriend is here
Jungkook: hes not my boyfriend
Yoongi: he brought flowers????
Yoongi: did you tell him you werent working today
Jungkook: yea i did...?
Jungkook: he usually brings me something every day
Jungkook: but not when i'm not working
Yoongi: oh new development
Jungkook: what
Yoongi: they're for me and seok
Yoongi: he said he felt bad that he always got stuff for you but never for us
Yoongi: he also said [redacted]
Jungkook: redacted?????
Yoongi: he said it was top secret info idk
Yoongi: you guys have to figure this out for yourselves idk what to tell you
Yoongi: the flowers were rlly sweet tho it made seok-ah do his happy heart-smiley-thing
Yoongi: anyway
Yoongi: this is the longest text conversation i've had in three years
Jungkook: you never text hobi hyung??
Yoongi: no
Yoongi: we're busy
Jungkook: busy ;)
Yoongi: goodbye.
-
Chat: not to be overly dramatic but i would die for yeontan
Taehyung: <audio file sent>
Taehyung: do you remember that song joon hyung wrote for me
Taehyung: from my portfolio
Jungkook: omg hyung is that the recording??????
Taehyung: yea :')
Taehyung: well. The demo
Taehyung: but yea.
Jungkook: ok i'm gonna listen oh my god
Jungkook: taetae hyung
Jungkook: your voice is so beautiful i didn't know you could sing this wonderfully
Taehyung: what do you mean it's not even that good :P
Jungkook: no tae what are you saying it sounds like honey
Jungkook: like a sunrise
Jungkook: youre amazing
Jungkook: and joonie hyung did such a good job producing even tho it was just a demo i am in awe
Jungkook: of both of you
Jungkook: gonna listen again
Jungkook: maybe forever
Taehyung: you'll get tired of it though lol
Jungkook: i could never get tired of you
-
The world spins with the word home and Taehyung's voice is in Jungkook's ears and it is beautiful like silk and he sings--
The phantom pain that torments me is unchanged--
And the singularity seeps into Jungkook's bones, a weight of something beautiful and sad.
-
Jungkook: are you free
Jungkook: can i see you
Taehyung: yeah, yeah i'm just at my apartment
Jungkook: i'll be there in a bit is that ok
Taehyung: course it is
Taehyung: <3
Jungkook: <3
-
Jungkook bursts through the door, heart pounding in his ears.
Taehyung stares up at him from the couch, startled. "Bun?" he breathes.
"Hey," Jungkook says, panting from the exertion. "Shit, let me catch my breath-- bad idea--"
Taehyung is next to him in an instant. "Hey, shh, Jungkookie, it's okay, why were you running?' His voice is so soft and his hands are so warm and Jungkook melts into the touch of Taehyung's hands as he cups Jungkook's cheek, places the other on the small of his back.
"Just-- I--" Jungkook looks up at Taehyung, longing to express it in words. "I just-- needed to see you."
When Taehyung doesn't say anything, just looks stunned, Jungkook continues, "I know that doesn't make any sense, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry but I can't explain-- everything-- you and your words and your art, I just can't--"
"Bun, baby, slow down," Taehyung soothes, pulling him closer to his chest. "Is something wrong? Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I-- it--" Jungkook presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes. Taehyung's hands tighten-- grounding. "It hurts," he rasps.
"What hurts?" Taehyung asks.
"You," Jungkook barely breathes and if they weren't so close, Taehyung wouldn't have been able to hear it.
"Me?" Taehyung asks, and there's a hint of hesitation, of did I do something wrong?
"Wait, I meant-- sorry, Tae, shit." Jungkook clutches him tighter, squeezing his eyes shut.
He recollects himself. Takes a deep breath. "I meant-- it's you. It hurts," he whispers, "I love you so much it hurts."
The words hang in open space.
The bandage's been ripped off. He can't take the words back. Shit, he can't take the words back.
Jungkook opens his eyes. Pulls back to look at Taehyung.
"I love you," he says. "I'm in love with you. I'm really sorry."
Taehyung looks back at him with an unreadable expression that blooms into a soft, warm gaze.
"Why are you apologizing, bun," he says softly.
"Because--" Jungkook blinks back unexpected tears-- "because you don't love me the way I love you, and I know that, and I'm sorry I couldn't keep it inside or get over it--"
"Jeon Jungkook," Taehyung interrupts quietly.
"Tae," Jungkook whispers back.
Taehyung swipes the tears away from his cheeks.
"How on Earth could you think that I don't love you," Taehyung says, voice laced with an overwhelming tenderness. "Jeon Jungkook. I love you so much."
"You--" Jungkook feels a little dizzy. "You do?"
"Of course I do. I love you," Taehyung says, "I really love you."
"Kim Taehyung," Jungkook whispers. Leans a little bit forward, unsure. "I love you, too, I-- this is-- can I--"
"You can kiss me, bun," Taehyung says. "Wanna kiss you."
"Okay," Jungkook says, and leans in, kisses Taehyung's lips once and then pulls away, looks Taehyung in the eye. Taehyung's gaze is open, warm. Jungkook melts a little and then kisses him softly again, again. Soft little kisses across his cheeks and to his forehead and the tip of his nose and then back to his lips, the corner of his mouth, the curve of his jaw, until Taehyung is a little pliant in front of him, clutching on to the sleeve of Jungkook's shirt.
It feels like a sunrise.
"Tae," Jungkook whispers in between kisses. When he speaks, their lips brush. "Is this okay?"
"Of course," Taehyung says immediately. "More than okay." He kisses Jungkook gently once, twice. "My Jungkookie. I love you so much."
"Love you too," Jungkook says, enthralled, and kisses him for real, parting his lips, until all he can think about is the soft press of Taehyung against him, the bright yellow warmth in his chest of his love love love taking shape. He cups Taehyung's cheek, cradles Taehyung's face gently in his palms.
Someone wished upon the brightest star, Jungkook thinks, but doesn't say, to create you. Kim Taehyung.
"I love you," he says instead, and--
Their love is a stellar nebula.