Chapter Text
"We're here." As the car came to a stop, Oh-aew gaped at the building in front of him, feeling his heart start beating faster against his chest.
"Bas, hug me, please?" Oh-aew requested, tugging his arm. His boyfriend turned to look at him with a teasing smile when he felt how much he was trembling. "Please?"
Not one to deny Oh-aew anything, Bas pulled him into an embrace. "It’s just the enrollment. No need to be so nervous."
"I am nervous, but I'm also really really excited. I've dreamed about this moment for so long."
"You've worked hard for this." Bas took his right hand and pressed a kiss on his knuckles, still smiling. "I'm proud of you."
Oh-aew took a moment to thank destiny for placing Bas in his life and making them meet. Without Bas, he wouldn’t have been able to pick himself up after not making the special admission and he would’ve had so much difficulty with the exam. Without Bas’ encouragement and push, maybe he would have just worked for his family’s resort.
He reciprocated the action, pressing his lips to Bas’ wrist, before opening the car door. "Pick me up immediately after you're done in your uni, okay?"
"Of course."
It was a bad idea for Oh-aew to have walked around their faculty after he had enrolled. Somehow, he’d forgotten that there was someone he had to avoid if he didn’t want his bubble to burst; his mood was starting to darken and sweat had started forming on his palms.
He already knew Teh must be in the same course because his name was the first in the special admission list and there was no way he wouldn’t choose to go to Anantasart. Oh-aew was sure of this—they had the same goal, after all.
But between preparing for the exam and the celebration of passing, Oh-aew had let himself forget about Teh, only focusing on the fact that he was one step closer to achieving his dream. Seeing Teh in front of him reminded him of why he always felt like he had so much to prove, like he was never talented or persevering enough.
A part of him wanted to walk up to Teh and wave in front of his face the fact that he hasn’t quit acting, that he worked his ass off to be in Anantasart, that even though Teh considered himself to be better than Oh-aew, they still ended up in the same course.
Another part of him wanted nothing to do with Teh at all—the same part that feared if Teh had learned more ways to make Oh-aew doubt himself compared to six years ago.
Teh, who was sitting on a bench and holding a stack of papers, looked up and met Oh-aew’s gaze.
When Teh’s eyes widened in recognition, Oh-aew flinched.
Oh-aew backed away and went to the building he just came from, taking out his phone as he pushed his legs to move no matter how weak they felt. "Bas? What time are you getting here?"
"I'm done with enrollment but traffic's bad. Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing." He felt bad for lying, but he didn’t want Bas to worry. His boyfriend had a big heart that Oh-aew wanted to spare from any kind of unnecessary weight. "Just called to tell you that I'm going to wait at a mall near the campus instead. I want to window shop."
"Alright, send me your location when you're there."
"Mm." Oh-aew hung up the call and turned around, breathing out when he saw no one behind him.
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The past few days taught Oh-aew that homesickness could morph into something physical and poison his body. Without anyone to care for him, he stayed in bed, slept all day, and willed the illness away. It was tempting to call Bas and ask for his help, but he had his own freshman welcome to attend and Oh-aew thought that if he couldn’t survive a fever by himself, then he wouldn’t survive living in the dorms at all.
He had recovered just in time for the Communication Arts orientation, but his coursemates must have had the opportunity to meet each other already during the welcoming event that he missed. Judging by how people had already filled up the back rows of the auditorium and were chatting excitedly among themselves, Oh-aew was the only one who didn’t know anyone yet.
Well… that wasn’t exactly true, was it?
Oh-aew could see his former friend sitting in the frontmost row, looking around and unable to stay still; the only seats available were the ones near him, since no one wanted to be in front, the area most vulnerable to forced participation.
He took a deep breath.
If Teh sees him and decides to talk to him, he was going to stand his ground—he won’t be letting Teh ruin the euphoria of finally being in Anantasart’s Communication Arts course after so many trials and difficulties. Oh-aew belonged there as much as anyone else who passed the exams did, even if he could still hear Teh’s voice from that day six years ago echoing in his head.
As Oh-aew took a seat behind Teh, he could feel his stare following every motion he made. And when he looked up, Teh had a weird expression on his face and what looked like tears in his eyes.
Or maybe that was just the bright lights of the auditorium. It was a stupid, fleeting thought.
“Uh...” Teh mumbled, opening and closing his mouth a few times. Oh-aew let him flounder; he wasn’t going to run away this time, but he’d also rather not be the first to strike a conversation with Teh. “Are the seats beside you occupied?”
“No.” After Oh-aew answered, Teh switched from the frontmost row to move near his seat, but left a space of one chair in between them.
Oh-aew placed his tote bag on the empty chair. Just to make sure.
“Do you live in the dorms? Wanna walk back together?” Teh asked him after orientation ended. Oh-aew was so excited to be starting his college life that even Teh’s presence near him didn’t dampen his enthusiasm, but that didn’t mean that he was already comfortable with having him around.
“My boyfriend’s picking me up soon. We’re going somewhere.”
Teh was quiet for a few seconds, his expression weird to Oh-aew again.
“I see,” he finally said. Oh-aew didn’t know what to make of the silence before, so he chose not to dwell on it. If Teh had a problem with him being gay, then that’s just one more bullet point added to their long list of things buried under the sand.
“Yeah. Bye.”
“See you around then, Oh.”
The nickname made Oh-aew clench his fists.
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"So you do live in the dorms."
Oh-aew started at the sudden voice behind him, whipping around to glare at Teh. He hadn’t expected to share the same floor with him, seeing as how they were both in the fourth floor’s kitchen.
"Mm." His parents were more than willing to give Oh-aew his own place in Bangkok, but Bas had suggested he live in the dorms instead, like he will, so that he wouldn’t get too lonely by himself.
Despite following his boyfriend’s advice, loneliness and homesickness still has a tight grip on him. He missed Phuket and his parents, but he was trying to be strong. He needed to grow up and adapt.
“I’m in 402. You?”
“Room 416.”
Teh nodded. He started taking cooking utensils from the cabinet and washing them along with the ingredients he brought. Oh-aew stepped away from the counter after he plugged in the electric kettle, putting as much distance as he could between them.
"How's your roommate?" Teh asked after a few beats of silence. "I can't stand mine, he’s too serious and peevish."
"I don’t know. I’ve barely seen him in our room."
Teh nodded again. “Ah.”
The electric kettle stopped its whistling and Oh-aew opened the lid of his cup noodles.
"Is that what you're gonna eat for dinner?" Teh glanced at the cup, his eyebrows raised in a familiar, annoying way.
Oh-aew usually ordered food delivery since he never had the energy to cook, but he didn’t feel like eating today. It was already a great effort on his part that he was even trying to get something warm inside his stomach.
"What’s wrong with this?" Oh-aew snapped, annoyed with Teh's condescension.
"Living in a dorm doesn't mean you should just eat instant food all the time," Teh scolded him. Then, in a gentler tone, he offered, "I'm cooking some Hokkien Mee. Do you want some?"
What Oh-aew wanted to say was, “I don’t want anything from you.”
But he was homesick, he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days, and so his muddled mind had answered, “Okay.”
Teh placed a bowl in front of him, and even just the smell of Hokkien Mee brought unwanted tears to Oh-aew’s eyes; it reminded him too much of home, of happy memories that he didn’t want to think about again.
He quickly wiped at his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt, waiting to see if Teh would have a teasing remark aimed at him.
To Oh-aew’s surprise, Teh stayed silent.
“It’s got a lot of squid,” Oh-aew commented. There was rice vermicelli only in his bowl, too, but Oh-aew didn’t want to point it out. If he did, it would be acknowledging something.
“I’ve made my own spin on Ma’s recipe and perfected it last year,” Teh proudly said.
Oh-aew ate a forkful of Hokkien Mee, with Teh anticipating a reaction to his cooking, and for a moment, Oh-aew could see his childhood friend in front of him—the childhood friend who loved eating Hokkien Mee while sitting too close by the TV while Yongjian was on screen and read the subtitles aloud with too much feeling.
But the moment didn’t last and he blinked—the person in front of him was not his friend, but his rival.