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“I’m telling you, you can use ‘suspicious’ in that context.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes you can! I asked Mr Nam and he said it was grammatically correct.”
“I still think it’s bullshit.”
“He has a fucking masters degree in linguistics! How can you call what he told me bullshit?”
“Will you both shut it for a second?”
Chan and Minho turned to Changbin at the sound of his tired complaint. “But I’m right!” protested Chan. “You can use ‘suspicious’ in the same way and the same kind of context you’d use ‘strange’ or ‘unusual’ in, Minho’s just too stubborn to admit he’s wrong.”
“Why would you use ‘suspicious’ instead of ‘strange’ if you can use them the same way?”
“Because they don’t mean the same thing!”
“Then why did you say they’re equivalent?”
“I never said that!”
“Both of you, please shut the fuck up. I still haven’t seen Seungmin today, I don’t have the emotional capacity to handle your stupid lover’s spat.”
Chan and Minho let out a disgusted groan, both at Changbin’s gross domestic talk and at the idea of them having a lover’s spat. They’d known each other since the womb, and while the childhood friends to lovers trope sounded real cute in stories, it most definitely wasn’t for them. Chan was pretty sure he’d get his balls cut off before he could so much as think of trying to get a kiss from Minho, which he found completely valid.
Chan grabbed his treasured water bottle, several years old and covered with too many stickers for its surface, and took a long sip from it, sulking. He knew he was right, he’d asked a literature teacher to make sure, damnit. Minho was such a pain.
“How have you not seen Seungmin today?” Minho asked as Chan swallowed the sip he’d taken, struggling a little because he’d definitely overestimated his mouth’s capacity in his brooding. “You guys literally live together.”
“You know he leaves the apartment early on Mondays, he has an 8AM lecture in-” Changbin stopped mid-sentence with a laugh, an impressed smile on his face as he looked at something over Chan’s shoulder. “Holy shit, is he for real?”
Confused, Chan turned on his seat, tipping his head back to take another (smaller) swig out of his bottle, and promptly choked on his water.
Han Jisung was entering the cafeteria alongside his best friend Kim Seungmin, which was normal enough considering they were practically attached at the hip. What was unusual was the bright blue color of Jisung’s hair and the matching skirt sitting prettily on his tanned legs, both moving softly with each of his steps.
When Chan had seen the first year student last Friday in Changbin and Seungmin’s apartment, his hair had been its natural shade of brown, and not once during the night had he mentioned the desire to dye it. The change had, to put it gently, come as a surprise to Chan. (To put it less gently, Chan was fucking flabergasted. He was shocked he had managed not to fall off his seat).
Chan coughed and coughed as Jisung and Seungmin reached their table, Minho rubbing his back in what was probably meant as a soothing motion but felt more like nagging than anything (coming from him, that was probably the real goal, actually).
“How’s your day going, losers,” Jisung said in lieu of a proper hello, falling into the seat right across from Chan, to the older man’s utter despair. He’d already almost choked to death, and now he’d be forced to look at Jisung until either of them left the table? Unfair. The feeling of dread in his gut intensified when Jisung raised an amused eyebrow at him, his eyes flicking from Chan’s flustered face to his water bottle.
Chan waved what he hoped was a careless hand at Jisung as his coughing died down. Unfortunately, his blush didn’t falter in the slightest, since Jisung giggled at him, clearly unconvinced. Thankfully, Minho grabbed both their attention.
“Your mom is gonna whoop your ass the second you go visit her, I hope you’re aware,” Minho commented with a pointed look at Jisung’s hair.
“Dude, I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want with my hair if I feel like it. And I’m not scared of my mom.”
Minho raised an eyebrow. “You should be.”
“When did it even happen?” Changbin asked, turning to meet Seungmin’s eyes. “You didn’t tell me about it when you came back home on Sunday morning.” He pouted dramatically, and while the rest of the table only snickered at his theatrics, Seungmin leaned in and placed a peck on his cheek, mumbling an apology into his boyfriend’s skin. That seemed to do the work; Changbin was beaming when Jisung started to retell their adventures.
“We went shopping with Jeongin, since he had a date and apparently nothing to wear, and we saw this bigass ad in one of the makeup stores he dragged us to where one of the models had blue hair. Jeongin bet me ten bucks I wasn’t game to dye my hair, so I did it.” The smug smile that hung from Jisung’s lips was unfairly attractive in Chan’s opinion.
“Hold on, who’s Jeongin seeing again?” Changbin asked, absentmindedly playing with the hair at the nape of Seungmin’s neck as he talked. That man was so whipped. “All I remember is that the guy is, like, really fucking pretty. No clue about the rest.”
“He’s seeing Hyunjin, a guy from my major two years under me,” Minho said. “Really sweet kid from what I’ve seen of him, and boy does he know how to dance. He’s crazy good.” He cocked his chin in Seungmin’s general direction. “Make sure Jeongin keeps him, he’s not gonna find another guy this talented anytime soon.”
Jisung let out an impressed whistle (which was surprisingly on key and pretty loud, Chan noticed. How was he so good at whistling? God really did have favorites, huh). “If Minho is praising that Hyunjin dude, he must be ultra skilled. I don’t think I’ve heard you compliment anyone other than Felix in the way too many years I’ve been stuck with you.”
“The wonderful years you’ve been blessed with my godly presence, you mean,” Minho corrected, his infuriating smirk back on his lips.
Jisung snorted. “Keep telling yourself that, buddy. Anyway, to go back to the most interesting part of our conversation, which is me, of course, there was a hair care section in another makeup store further down the mall with a whole bunch of hair dye boxes, so I bought some and we dyed my hair after we got dinner. Seungminnie did most of the work, honestly. I just sat there and looked absolutely dashing.”
That, Chan didn’t doubt for a second.
“I’ll make it very clear that he forced me to help him,” Seungmin specified, leaning his head on Changbin’s shoulder, “since apparently taking care of his own hair was too hard of a task.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy seeing me have a near death experience while the toner was doing its thing, you absolute heathen. I know I didn’t imagine you laughing at me when I shed my sole tear of the night.”
Seungmin cackled, and the two got into explaining the details of their hair dyeing adventures. Chan tuned out of the conversation, letting everyone’s voices bounce off each other in his ears, the only thing left in proper focus being Jisung, his expressive face and enthusiastic gestures as he reenacted how Seungmin almost dropped all their material down the toilet, the excited glint in his eyes, the pretty smile that bathed his body in a warm, happy glow.
🔵
Ok. Some might say Chan sounded a bit (very) whipped. But that wasn’t it, of course not. It couldn’t be.
To make things clear, Chan didn’t have any actual relationship with Jisung. He was his best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend, so of course they were bound to spend a good amount of time in each other’s presence, but Chan couldn’t recall the last one on one conversation he’d had with the boy in the past four years of university. He knew the basic stuff about him, like the fact that his wardrobe consisted of oversized sweaters, plaid skirts and a sole pair of combat boots, or the fact that he was a music production major and had the voice of an angel, or the fact that he was arguably the loudest dude Chan had ever met in his life, but got ultra quiet and sentimental after a few drinks, or the fact that Chan couldn’t spend too long looking at him before he blushed, simply because Jisung was too pretty to be real.
But Chan didn’t have a crush on Jisung. How could he? He didn’t actually know him. And Chan didn’t crush on people he wasn’t close with. So far, he had only fallen for people he’d been best friends with for years, which was really great once things broke off (it wasn’t. Like, not at all. His breakups were all absolute disasters).
He and Jisung weren’t even friends, not really. They were close acquaintances, at most.
Or so he told himself, in a stupid, vain attempt to convince himself he didn't have feelings for Jisung.
🔵
Chan missed most of the conversation, but eventually, Minho said something that must’ve been pretty funny, because the entire table burst into laughter, Jisung by far the loudest of them.
Fuck , Chan thought fondly.
Ah, yes, another thing on the list of Very Important Things Chan knew about Jisung; when he laughed or smiled really wide, his very, very pretty lips took the shape of a heart. It was simultaneously Chan’s favorite sight in the world and the bane of his existence.
He tried to tune back into the conversation to understand what everyone was laughing about, but Minho caught his ear first with the last question Chan wanted to answer.
“What do you think of Jisung’s hair, Chan?”
Chan’s eyes widened, his neck cracking at how fast he turned his head towards Minho. The satisfied smirk that sat on his lips was so annoying that Chan considered starting a fight right then and there in the middle of the cafeteria. This was such a blatant revenge for Chan so clearly having the upper hand in their grammar argument earlier, but there was sadly nothing Chan could do about it at the moment. I’ll get back at you later , Chan thought vehemently before turning his gaze back to Jisung.
The latter’s expression was unreadable, though Chan was pretty sure he wasn’t imagining the light dusting of pink on his cheeks (that might’ve been makeup, now that he was thinking about it. Why would he be making Jisung blush? That would’ve been silly).
“I think it’s…” Gorgeous? Otherworldly? Ethereal? So fucking beautiful that Chan couldn’t believe he had the privilege of witnessing it with his own two eyes? “I think it’s really neat.”
The scarily synchronized and equally unimpressed snorts that Minho and Changbin gave made Chan’s blush deepen, but he didn’t miss the way Jisung’s hesitant smile widened. “And,” Chan added, sounding braver than he felt, “I think it suits you well.”
There it was again. Jisung’s smile grew into its signature heart shape, and when Jisung ran a hand through his very blue and very soft looking hair, fluffing it up even more, Chan’s heart skipped so many beats he thought he might be having a seizure. One strand in particular stood straight at the crown of his head, like suspended in midair, before elegantly falling back to the side. Chan followed the entire motion, hypnotized, only half aware that he was most definitely staring.
“Thanks,” Jisung said, bringing Chan back to reality. “For the record, I think your industrial is also pretty neat. I’m glad to see you finally got it, you’ve been talking about it for ages.”
Chan flushed all the way down to his neck, his hand going to play carefully with the bar going through his right ear (it was still pretty recent, so the area throbbed lightly on occasion). He had been talking about getting an industrial piercing for months, but he never thought Jisung would remember something like that. It wasn’t like they were close or anything.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, throwing Jisung a shy smile. “Hurt like a bitch, not gonna lie, but it was worth it.”
“Do you want to get more? Your ears aren’t too packed yet, you could do so many cool things on them.”
Chan was only too happy to indulge Jisung in an animated discussion on the piercings that would suit Chan the most, which diverged to the ones Jisung was thinking of getting, to the other colors he potentially wanted to try when the current blue of his hair faded away or he got sick of it. Chan was vaguely aware that Minho was stuck third-wheeling Seungmin and Changbin, but he didn’t care in the slightest. He deserved to suffer a little bit after putting him on the spot. Besides, he was way too enthralled by Jisung’s enthusiasm to lend Minho a hand.
Jisung was leaning towards Chan across the table, showing him pictures of cool piercing inspiration he’d found on Pinterest, when Seungmin popped their little bubble with a call of Jisung’s name.
“Sungie, Felix just finished his last class and wants to go for bubble tea, you coming or you want to stay here?”
“And pass on free drinks? Who do you take me for, Kim Seungmin, of course I’m coming.”
“Who said Felix was paying for any of you?” asked Minho with the rise of an eyebrow that had no business looking as threatening as it did.
“Don’t worry, Minho, I’m going too," Changbin said as he stood. “I’ll make sure Jisung doesn’t take advantage of your boyfriend’s kindness.”
“It’s not taking advantage if he offers!”
“You’re on thin fucking ice, Han Jisung. If I hear that Felix spent even a cent for you I’m throwing your Doc Martens in the mud and keying them.”
Chan winced. Even for Minho, that was brutal.
“That’s not fair! What am I supposed to do when he offers to pay for me? Say no?”
“Yes!”
“You’re being a hypocrite, dude, you can’t say no to Felix about anything .”
“He’s my boyfriend, it's literally my job to be unable to resist his puppy eyes. You have no excuse.”
Jisung pouted, throwing a desperate look in Chan’s direction, who only threw his hands up innocently, giggling as Jisung’s pout deepened.
“Fine,” Jisung grumbled, standing up and straightening out his skirt. “Channie, are you coming too?”
Chan’s brain short-circuited for half a second because Channie? Jisung had called him Channie ?
“I really would,” he said after regaining some sort of composure, “but I have a lecture in twenty minutes and I really can’t afford to miss it.” The sadness in his voice was completely genuine. He would’ve much, much rather gone to the bubble tea shop a few minutes out of campus with his friends instead of his upcoming two hour lecture, if only to see Jisung’s cheeks all round and filled with boba like a tiny squirrel the way they always did when Jisung ate.
He had to recall every single drop of self control in his body not to change his mind when Jisung’s pout deepened.
“I’m not coming either,” Minho commented nonchalantly, “I also have a lecture in twenty, but thanks for asking, Sungie! It’s so nice to see that you care about me.”
Jisung glared at Minho through the furious blush that covered his cheeks. “It wouldn’t make a difference for me if you came with us, you’d just be glued to Felix’s side being all affectionate and gross the entire time anyway.”
“And it would be my absolute pleasure,” Minho replied with a smug smirk. He tilted his head to the side, his gaze sliding past Jisung, and his smirk widened. “You might want to make your way to the agora soon, or you’re gonna lose Seungbin in the crowd.”
Jisung spun on his spot (making his skirt swirl prettily around his legs, Chan noted) to see that, indeed, Changbin and Seungmin had started walking to the entryway of the cafeteria while he was arguing with Minho. He hissed a shit under his breath and turned back to the table.
“Alright, well, bye Chan! Minho, I hope your lecture sucks!”
He turned again and ran through the few students milling around to reach their friends. Chan watched him go, a fond smile hanging from his lips without him even noticing. Jisung was just too cute, damnit, it wasn’t fair.
“Man, that sure was painful to watch, but also terribly wholesome. You guys are really fucking obvious, did you know that?”
Chan startled out of his daze and turned to face Minho, who had once again this annoyingly proud smile on his stupidly pretty face (this was a purely objective observation; the sky was blue, the grass was green, Minho’s face was sculpted by the gods). “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Chan. You might suck at grammar, but I know you’re not stupid.”
“I do not suck at grammar, fuck you. And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You and Jisung being redder than James the tank engine and barely managing to keep your eyes off each other. Your crushes are painfully obvious, my guy.”
Chan frowned. "Isn't the train's name Thomas?"
Minho let out a long, strained sigh. Chan was pretty sure his question didn't warrant such blatant disappointment, but Minho did have a tendency to be overly dramatic. "James is Thomas' friend, obviously. The main character is Thomas the blue train, and James is his red sidekick with anger issues." Minho heaved another sigh accompanied by a slight shake of his head, to which Chan rolled his eyes. "Felix would've known instantly what I was talking about. He's got basic culture, unlike someone ."
Chan wasn't entirely convinced that Felix's extensive knowledge of cursed memes was something to be particularly proud of, but he knew better than to make that comment. Minho was very protective of his boyfriend, and Chan valued his life.
"You're missing the point entirely, anyway," Minho said, bringing them back on track (pun unintended. Mostly). "You and Jisung are crushing on each other and I have no idea why neither of you will do anything about it."
“How are you so sure he has feelings for me?” Chan asked, defensive, hopefully diverting the conversation to Jisung instead of him.
“It’s not because I’ve been with Felix since we were sixteen that I can’t recognize puppy love when I see it, buddy. He looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and you drink every single word he says like he’s Ghandi or something. It’s pretty gross to look at, coming from my two best friends, but still, I’ve made my point; you have a crush on Jisung, Jisung has a crush on you. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.”
"But…" Chan trailed off, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. "You know how I work with crushes and stuff. Jisung and I aren't that close."
The deadpan look Minho gave him, for once, did its work and made Chan want to shrink in his seat. "Are you seriously telling me that after being in the same friend group and spending basically all your free time together in one way or another for four years, you still don't consider Jisung to be your friend? Is he seriously just Seungmin's best friend to you?"
The truth was, Chan did consider Jisung a good friend. It was inevitable, as Minho said, after spending all his bachelor's degree hanging out with him and between one and four of their mutual friends whenever he had free time. Jisung was way too loveable of a human being not to befriend him anyway. But they weren't close in the same way Chan was used to when it came to having a crush on someone. He knew a lot about Jisung's interests, having texted until ungodly hours of the morning about his favorite animes and musical artists on many occasions, knew how he behaved in a group, knew what he ordered when he went for bubble tea. But he wasn't lying when he said they didn't know each other.
Chan had only ever crushed on people after knowing them inside and out, knowing their fears, their dreams, their passions, their every little quirks and mannerisms. And Chan didn't know any of those about Jisung. So how could he know if he really had a crush on him?
“It’s not the same thing, you know that. Our relationship right now is so different from what I’m used to when I catch feelings. And… he’s different.”
“Different doesn’t mean bad, Chan.” Minho paused, cat-like eyes scanning Chan’s face with a soft expression. “It’s not always going to end badly, you know that, right? Maybe things went kinda sideways when you ended things with Bambam and when Hyunjae dumped you, but you’re still close to Brian and Sana, no? If, and I say if , you and Jisung don’t work well together, it doesn’t mean you’ll lose him as a friend.” He paused again, and his expression morphed into what Chan knew was his I-potentially-just-had-a-genius-idea face. “And maybe the fact that you only dated people you considered your closest friends is why it never worked out.”
Huh. Chan had to admit Minho had a point.
“Maybe you’re right,” he acknowledged.
"Give him a chance anyway, Chan. I know Jisung almost as well as Seungmin does, and he really, really likes you. And I know you'd treat him right, even if your situation is different than usual."
Chan almost whined at him, because of course he’d treat Jisung right, even if his feelings had formed differently than usual. He was nothing if not a people pleaser, first of all, and he always did his absolute best to make sure his partners were happy. Instead, he fiddled with the bracelets on the lid of his water bottle, pondering, hesitating, hoping.
“I gotta go,” Minho said as he stood from his seat, “my lecture’s at the other end of the building. Just, think about it, ok?”
“I will,” he replied, standing as well, “I promise.”
They parted ways at the door of the cafeteria, and Chan made his way to his lecture with thoughts bouncing away furiously between his ears. Minho was right, damnit, he should at least give Jisung a chance. He did have feelings for the younger boy, pretty strong ones at that, and despite how strangely he felt about them, he couldn’t deny that he was curious. He knew what Jisung was like in a group, all loud and bold and big laughs and bigger smiles. How different was he when he was alone with someone? Did he keep up his happy and bubbly image constantly, or did he let himself be vulnerable and distressed with his partner? And the million dollar question that kept swirling back to the forefront of his mind: what if Minho had found the problem, and Jisung was the answer? What if the one reason none of his relationships had worked out was because he’d only dated his best friends, and Jisung would be the one to turn things around?
Chan almost laughed at himself. Ten minutes ago, he wouldn’t have even considered making advances on Jisung, and now he sounded like he might marry him one day. Talk about a 180.
He made a decision as he sat down in the lecture hall with a few minutes to spare. He got his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, took a deep breath and opened his messaging app. He huffed a quiet laugh when he saw the last few messages in his conversation with Jisung.
chan
dude
you can’t eat the bunnies in cloud recesses
lan zhan would literally destroy you
do YOU want to fight against lan zhan just for a snack??
jisung
but they look so yummy!!
chan
it’d be like eating your own species wtf T-T
you’re crazy
jisung
excuse you, i ain’t no rabbit, that’s minho
if you’re going to assign me a fursona at least do it properly smh
usually people say i’d be a squirrel but seungmin found that a quokka was the most accurate option
chan
shit he’s right a quokka is perfect for you
Chan’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, typing and retyping his message until he saw the seats around him fill up with students. He had to send something before the professor came in or he’d never do it.
chan
hey!
sorry i couldn’t come along to get bubble tea with you guys today
wanna get coffee with me tomorrow to make up for it?
telling you ahead that it’s my treat, you don’t have to fear threats from minho for taking advantage of me haha
Chan almost dropped his phone when the reply came barely thirty seconds after the last message went through.
jisung
no offense but minho won’t threaten anyone for accepting free drinks unless it’s from felix
but yeah, coffee sounds good!
chan
haha good point
felix’s power is unmatched
sweet!
you finish at 1PM on Tuesdays, right?
jisung
you got it
so, hum, just to make sure
this is just you and me right?
chan
if you’re cool with that, yeah
i’d like to spend time with you
jisung
i’m cool with that!!
very cool
the absolute coolest
a level of cool only THE han jisung can reach
Chan snorted, ears turning red both at Jisung’s cute rambles and at the numerous confused looks he got from the students around him at the sudden noise.
chan
you are indeed the coolest
we can meet at the cafeteria if that works with you? i finish at noon so i can wait for you there
jisung
sounds like a plan
chan
great!
can’t wait to see you
jisung
see you tomorrow :D
Chan couldn’t help the grin that took over his face as he locked his phone and turned to the professor, who’d finally entered the room and was preparing her things for the lecture. He was still nervous; this was very unlike anything he’d ever experienced. But instead of being scared in the face of all the unknown still between him and Jisung, he was looking forward to it. He couldn't wait to get to know Jisung, properly this time, to discover the sides of him that he only revealed to special people.
If he spent the next two hours daydreaming about a flop of freshly dyed, very soft-looking blue hair and a laugh that could light up entire cities, that truly was no one’s business.