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“Dad, why are we in Missouri?” asked Peter when he finally could get an internet connection to check where in the world he is since his dad seemed to not want to tell him.
Tony smiled as he continued to look at his phone, “You’ll find out in…”
“Twenty minutes.” supplied Happy from the driver's seat. Somehow the man was wearing his usual suit despite the temperature being in the 90’s.
The older hero smirked and repeated in the direction of his son, “twenty minutes. And don’t worry, it’s not a mission or training or anything.”
Peter gave his dad a distrusting look, “All I know is you had me pack a week's worth of clothes that are suited to a warm climate, and to just get on the plane.” In reality, it had been a bit more cryptic since Tony just said to pack the clothes that were on the list FRIDAY had made for the teen.
“Just relax, Underoos. Look, cows!” Somehow Tony managed to make that childish line sound sophisticated as he got Peter to look out at one of the many fields of cattle and other livestock they have passed by.
The next twenty minutes were spent looking at scenery and Peter attempting to get cellular data so he can figure out what could possibly be important enough to warrant a trip out here.
Peter couldn’t think of any expos, conferences or meetings that would be going on in Missouri, and in the less populated area no less.
Could they be going to a testing area? No, it would be too risky considering all the livestock in the area. And the testing area is usually in more isolated places.
Then, in the distance, Peter saw something that seemed familiar. At the far end of the dirt road they were going down was a farmhouse. On the other side of the house was the start of a forest. Peter was having trouble placing why he knew it, but somewhere in his brain it confirmed that this was just a leisurely vacation, nothing important.
It wasn’t until he saw his Uncle Clint smiling at the end of the road did Peter fully connect the dots.
They were at Uncle Clint’s house. Most likely to hang out or something like that.
As soon as the car stopped, Peter jumped out and greeted the blond hero, “Hi Uncle Clint!”
“Hey Petey-boy. How was the trip?” Clint walked up and gave Peter a “bro hug” before moving on to greet Tony.
“It was fine. Dad didn’t tell me where we were going though. He just gave me cryptic instructions and then put us on a plane.”
Clint gave Tony a look, “Really, Tony?”
“He makes it sound worse than it is.” Tony said with a chuckle.
Happy, who had his window rolled down, chimed in, “No, he didn’t.”
Tony replied back with little actual bite, “I don’t remember asking you.”
“Well, either way, let’s get your bags in so Happy can escape.” Clint paused, “Unless he is staying of course.”
Happy made sure to clarify, “No, I’m just here to drop these two off and then drive back to New York.”
“Well okay then. Here, I’ll get us some help, since I am sure you,” he gave Tony a playful look, “packed way more than needed.”
“Excuse you, you can’t look this good without all the proper tools. Plus, I brought along some gifts for your kids.”
“All the more reason they should help us then.” Clint turned back to the house and called, “Nate, Cooper, Lila!”
Peter heard the sound of some kids yelling, “Coming” from within the house.
“Oh, and Pete, be warned, Lila is a huge Spider-man fan, so be prepared for a little shadow.”
“Does she know that it’s me?”
“Nah, but I have a feeling she will stick to you anyways.”
“Okay then.” Peter then watched as the three Barton children came out of the house, only to stop and stare at the visitors, one of whom was obviously Tony Stark.
“Kids, help Uncle Tony and Peter get their things inside. They can take the guest room, unless Peter wants to take the spare bed in Coop’s room?”
“Peter would love to share a room with his cousin.”
Upon inspection, Peter noted that the kids were all younger than him. The oldest, who he guessed was Cooper, was about 2-3 years younger.
“Bambino, mind grabbing the small red bag out for Nate to carry? I think he might like what's inside. Lila and Cooper can grab theirs after we free Happy.”
Going to the trunk, Peter found a little red gift bag on the top, along with two others. He took them all out and handed them to the littlest Barton. “I think Nate can carry them all.”
Nate smiled and rushed into the house, most likely trying to hurry everyone so he could see his present.
Then all the older kids and adults proceeded to grab the rest of the bags out of the trunk. Once they made it inside they were led by Lila and Cooper up the stairs to the rooms. Cooper showed Peter where their room is and which bed was available. Peter thanked Cooper and set his bags on the bed while Cooper went to the guest room to drop the rest of Tonys stuff in his room.
When Cooper came back, the two boys stared at each other awkwardly.
Peter decided to break the silence, “Sooo… want to go downstairs so you guys can open your gifts?”
“Sure. Don’t expect us to get along though just because our dads are friends.” Cooper then turned and walked out the door.
“Noted.” Peter said to himself before following.
It wasn’t like he was expecting instant friendship with the other boy, but he was hoping for a chance to befriend him before getting shut down like that.
In the main area of the house, Nate was bouncing with excitement as he stared at the bag, as if he had supervision that let him see what was in the bag.
“So, Peter, unknowingly, helped me design these for you all, so I hope you enjoy them.” Tony said as he sat down in one of the chairs around the coffee table.
Suddenly, Peter knew exactly what was in that bag.
Nate reached into the bag as fast as a bullet and pulled out a replica of Captain America's shield. It was designed to not damage stuff since it was made of foam, but it acted similarly to the real thing when thrown, it even came with a matching cuff that magnetically holds the shield to Nate's arm.
“COOL!!” Nate was bouncing around, showing it off to his parents as he put on the cuff.
“Why don’t you go take that out in a bit after your siblings open their things?” Clint suggested to his hyperactive son.
Nate bounced as he nodded.
Then Lila opened hers to show a bow and arrow set. The arrows were fun though, one had a pressure sensitive tip that released a net, complete with a button on the side to restore the net so it can be reused. There were also ones that were one-time use that set off silly-string bombs. And Peter's personal favorite, ones with cushioned tips that can be shot at people without injury.
Peter may or may not have tested them on everyone in the tower when he was certain it was safe. His favorite example was when he hung off the high ceiling in the common room and shot an unsuspecting Harley, who was just trying to eat his breakfast in peace. Peter may have gotten scolded by his boyfriend for a bit after he fell to the ground from laughing too hard.
Tony explained to Lila as she inspected the arrows, “We heard you liked archery, so we thought it would be fun to give you more variety.”
“No shooting Nate.” added Clint when he recognized the cushion ones.
Cooper gave his father a shocked expression, “What about me?”
“You can handle it, stinker.”
Then Cooper opened his box.
“See, we had no idea what to give you, so I decided to go with a spiderman based gift for you.”
Clint saw his daughter's face and immediately said, “Lila. That’s Coop's gift.”
Cooper stared at the first generation web shooters replicas with a mix of confusion and happiness. “How do they work?” He looked up at Tony as he said this.
“Oh, I can show you!” Peter said with a bit of excitement. He was mainly enthused about the idea of getting on Cooper’s good side.
“Pete, go grab yours so you can demonstrate.”
Without even standing, Peter pressed a button on his watch, put his hands together, and suddenly he had his web shooters on.
At the look Lila was giving him, he said, “I work with spiderman a lot and generally have found these to be my best version of self-defense.”
He understands that he could probably trust these kids with his super-identity, he had no idea if Lila had a social media where she could leak this information, and better safe than sorry.
The four kids made quick work of getting their shoes on and getting out the door.
“Peter, can you show me how to use my shield?”
“Then my arrows!”
“Hey, Stark said Peter was going to show me how to use my shooters.”
He looked between the kids and worked quickly to figure out his game plan. “Well, I think it would be best for me to walk Lila though hers first since it’s a basic explanation, then Nate, then you, Cooper, since yours is the most complex.”
Nate and Cooper didn’t seem to like the plan that much, but they didn’t protest. So Peter went through which arrows do what, including how their tricks and gadgets affect how they behave when fired. Then he went through how the shield worked to Nate, then moved on to Cooper when the younger two were having fun with their gadgets.
“Okay, so what do you want to learn?” Before he could even see the look Cooper was probably sporting, Peter corrected himself, “Right, right, you need to learn to shoot this. Then we get to do the fun stuff.”
After walking Cooper through the process of putting on the shooters, Peter demonstrated how they work. It took a bit for Cooper to get the hang of it, but once he did he ended up being a natural born shooter.
Of course, shooting the same target over and over can get boring, so Peter decided to bring up the fun stuff.
“Do you want to learn to swing from it?”
The look Peter got told him he was definitely getting on Cooper’s good side.
The two, after shouting to Clint and Tony that they are going out to the woods, disappeared into the treeline.
Together the two found the sturdiest tree that also had a safe enough clearing.
And Peter found a branch, aimed, and swung. Cooper was cheering him on from the branch. Once he landed, Peter climbed back up onto the tree branch to help walk Cooper through the plan.
“Okay, so you are probably going to want to release the web for a shorter amount of time for this. Just go until it reaches the tree, then jump a bit ahead and hang on so you don’t land flat on your face. Make sense?” Peter wasn’t really sure about how to explain it, but he was assuming he was doing fine.
“COOPER!” Both froze, Cooper's arm in the air, getting ready to fire, Peter critiquing his position. Clint was running towards them with a concerned look on his face, Tony a little bit behind him, with a grin on his face. “Young man, don’t you dare do what I think you’re about to do.”
In a very Stark-like manner, Peter shouted, “YOLO!” and Cooper fired, jumped, and-
Landed on the ground with a not so graceful thump.
Clint was bolting to his son at top speeds while Tony also made sure to pick up the pace.
Right as Peter, who had jumped down from the branch, and Clint reached the fallen boy, Cooper lifted himself up with the biggest smile Peter had seen on a Barton.
“I forgot to grab the web.”
Peter couldn’t help but laugh as he said, “Yep.”
Tony, as soon as he saw that Cooper was okay, let himself chuckle at the ridiculousness of the scene.
Clint, who couldn’t decide whether he should be annoyed at Cooper, Peter or Tony, chose to put his head in his hand, “You Starks are a bad influence.”
“Who was the one who taught Peter how to access the air vents?” asked Tony with a smirk once he got himself under control.
“But I didn’t encourage him to jump out of a tree. Very different.” Clint said, realizing his argument was dead on arrival.
“Hey, he was learning from the best. My senses would have warned me if he would have really gotten hurt.”
Cooper turned to look at Peter in awe, “Wait, you’re Spiderman?”
“Oops.” Peter looked at his dad, who was rolling his eyes fondly. “Yes, I am Spiderman.”
Without missing a beat, Cooper stated, “Don’t tell Lila. She’ll never let you go.”
“So I keep hearing.” Peter stood from his kneeling position and helped Cooper up, “Ready to get back to the tree?”
Sensing that, like himself, Clint would not enjoy watching his son fall out of the trees at varying heights and speeds, Tony led the archer out of the forest, consoling the man, saying how this was all part of the learning process for both parents and kids.
“So this time, when you fire, you have to grab the web about 3 feet above where the web shooter is, meaning you have to jump high.” Peter saw the look of confusion on Cooper's face and decided he was probably a practical learner.
Peter shot a web out to the branch, “Because the branch is farther away than the ground, and this is usually a pretty good base rule for any time you are swinging.” He used his free hand to indicate a little farther up the web rope, “This is the lowest I would recommend you grab onto the rope.”
Before Cooper could launch though, Peter clarified one last thing, “The web shooter, as you probably have figured out, can’t hold your weight. Mine can, but that’s because I had to work on that for a while and it’s still a little rough.”
Cooper nodded, took a breath, aimed and leaped, this time making sure to grab onto the rope. His swing wasn’t the most graceful, but what beginner is?
His landing also could use a bit of polishing since he ended up stumbling onto the ground, just barely avoiding another face-plant.
Once he had stabilized himself, Cooper turned back to Peter and shouted, “I did it!”
“Yeah!” Peter jumped down from the tree to go meet Cooper and they high fived.
“Let’s go do that again!” Before Peter knew it, Cooper was climbing the tree again, and getting ready to swing.
Peter chose to stay on the ground, mentoring from below.
After 20 or so more swings, Peter felt like Cooper was ready for the next level.
“Want to learn how to swing to another branch?”
Of course, that was when someone decided to interrupt.
“How about no? Come on boys, it’s time for dinner.” said Tony as he watched from the ground.
At that moment, Peter’s stomach decided to make it’s emptiness known as it rumbled loudly. “I guess that’s our cue to stop for the day.”
Both kids swung down to the forest floor, Cooper landing with only a little stumble.
Together the three walked back to the house while Peter explained the logistics for how to go from branch to branch. Tony added in some embarrassing moments when Peter forgot some of the guidelines, like the time he fell because he just winged the distance between the buildings because he was too busy looking at a kitten.
“But Dad! It was a really cute kitten and it was meowing from it’s window!” Peter exclaimed.
Cooper started laughing a moment later, “Lila showed me a video of that! She would not stop talking about how cute it was!”
Tony’s face got that look that only meant trouble for Peter, “Do you still have that video?”
“She saved it on her computer.” Cooper sounded way to proud about sharing that information.
It was at that moment he knew what was going through his fathers mind. “No, Dad, you wouldn’t.” His dad chuckled. “Please don’t. Don’t show it to Papa and Aunt Pepper!”
“I was thinking of the rest of the avengers, not just your aunt and papa.”
Peter turned to Cooper, “Where is the computer and how can I convince Lila to let me delete it.”
“She will never let that video go.” Cooper said with a mischievous smile.
Peter sighed in defeat as everyone settled around the dinner table. Clint at the head of one end, Tony on the other. Peter and Cooper on one side across from Lila, Laura and Nate. There was a wide variety of foods to choose from.
Everyone dug in as soon as they all got seated. Clint and Tony were conversing about Avengers things, Laura adding some points in from time to time. The kids were all going on about their gadgets, other than Cooper, who knew that it could be problematic to go into any detail about what he learned.
“My shield went so far! I was like schwoom !” Nate made a throwing motion with his arm, “and then it came back like fwoosh !”
“Nate, sweetie, eat, please.” Laura said as she narrowly avoided getting hit by a spoonful of mashed potatoes. Then Laura looked at Peter, “And Peter, there are some snacks in a container with your name on it, it’s been approved by Dr. Banner for your condition .”
“Thank you ma’am, I’ll look into that later.” Peter couldn’t help but smile. This family was so different from his. Sure, Rhodey and Tony loved Peter unconditionally, but this sort of communal meal was rare because someone was always busy.
Lila stared at Peter from across the table, “What condition?”
“Lila.” scolded Laura.
Quickly Peter waved it off, “It’s fine, Aunt Laura.” He turned back to facing Lila, “I have a metabolism issue. I burn through food really quickly so I need to eat more frequently. And Dr. Banner found a way to make snacks that are high calorie but slow release, so I don’t have to worry about eating all the time.”
“So, you are enhanced?”
Everyone at the table froze.
Peter looked from Lila to his dad, from his dad to Clint, then back to Lila, then finally back to his Dad, who gave a very helpful shrug.
Thanks, Dad, thought Peter with annoyance. Then he realized that this is just about the safest group he can tell the truth to. It’s very unlikely they would share. The greatest risk is Lila going insane.
“Yeah, I’m enhanced. Have been since I was 14, nearly 15. It’s a bit of a sore spot though.” The last bit was a lie, but Lila didn’t need to know that. “Anyways, it made some things just weird for me, but I worked through it. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t take this conversation out of the room.”
And I said too much , thought Peter with a sigh. And he knew he was right because for the rest of the meal Lila kept an eye on him. It was a little unnerving really.
“Coop, how about you show Peter the horseshoe setup outside?” suggested Clint, who noticed that they had finished their meals.
Together, the boys got up, placed their dishes in the sink, then went outside and around to the side of the house, where there was a setup for horseshoes.
“So, I think you know how this game works. Honestly, I don’t know why my dad suggested this, you are way better at the whole aiming thing.”
Peter just laughed as he threw the horseshoe and… completely missed. It went about three feet over the stake.
And just like that, Cooper was on the ground, laughing so hard he was gasping for air. “How- how did you miss that badly?!”
“I wish I could tell you.” Peter went and sulked in the grass as he waited for Cooper to collect himself.
When Cooper took his turn, he was remarkably better than Peter, almost getting a perfect shot.
Soon though, Peter got the hang of it and stole the game from Cooper, not to the Barton boys' surprise.
They played 3 games, Cooper winning the second match, not by much, but a win nonetheless. It ended with Peter being victorious as they walked back into the house.
“Winner gets to choose the movie.”
“Lord of the Rings?”
“Sounds good. But only if we can convince Legolas here to say some of his lines.” Tony walked in from the kitchen, followed by Clint, holding a bowl of popcorn.
Clint just shook his head and resigned to his fate as he followed everyone to the living room to watch the movie.
As they watched the movie, stupid comments being made by everyone, Peter had to admit his dad made a good choice for a secret vacation.
Even if there was a good chance he broke some of the rules to get the location.